You know, over the years, I have mentioned the steep decline in attendance in evangelical or Bible-believing churches across our culture. It's another reason to thank the Lord, at least up to this point, that has not impacted us in the same way. But I do think it's important for us to know what's occurring and also just to think about why. Recently, several articles have been published that highlight a particular aspect of that trend And a surprising one, at least for me, that is that some women are leaving the church at a more rapid rate than men. So, for example, Shane Morris made the point a few weeks ago in a blog on Breakpoint. It was entitled, Why Are Educated Women Leaving Church? And the subtitle was, Women are Leaning Left and Bucking Mediating Institutions. It's kind of an interesting phrase. Let me read it again. Women are Leaning Left and Bucking Mediating Institutions. Let me read a couple of paragraphs from that blog and then explain how that fits in with what we're going to be studying this morning. He said, one of the oldest features of Christianity is its appeal among women. Women swelled the ranks of the early church as it reflected how Jesus had treated them. He talked to women in public. He defended them against accusers and appeared to them first after his resurrection. All this at a time when women were widely treated as inferior to men. Today, however, women in America seem to be abandoning Christian observance more quickly than men. Political scientist Ryan Burge, co-author of The Great De-Churching, recently shared survey data showing that college-educated men are now more likely to attend church weekly than college-educated women. In 2008, 36% of women with at least a four-year degree attended church weekly, compared with 34% of men with a degree. By 2023, just 27% of college-educated women attended church weekly, compared with 32% of men. Obviously, church attendance has declined significantly for both sexes. However, the drop among educated women is disproportionately high. And it coincides with the leftward lurch in how women identify politically. It's possible there's something about higher education itself that is radicalizing women politically and driving them away from the church. Really? Also, the decline of marriage has historically correlated with women adopting more progressive beliefs. Pew Research, and now this next paragraph, this isn't a condemnation. It's just a statement of a sociological fact, and we ought to consider what it means. Pew Research reported last year that the share of 40-year-olds who had never been married is at a historic high, and childbearing partly as a result is near a record low. Marriage and family, this gets at the subtitle of the article, marriage and family are the most basic of all mediating institutions in society that form individuals and buffer them from the state. Assuming, by the way, that you want to be buffered from the state. And with these institutions in decline, it's inevitable that people, especially women, would look increasingly to the government for provision, protection, and influence. Also, the rise of social media. If you haven't, if you're not upset yet, this might get you across the line. Also, the rise of social media may play a role in women's exodus from church and toward progressivism. Women spend more time on social media than men, regardless of age. Now, please don't send me an email about that. I'm just the mailman. A particular kind of social and political orthodoxy is ruthlessly enforced by mob rule on social media platforms. Not only do influencers seek to shape the beliefs of their followers, they often promote alternative forms of spirituality and views of the good life. Whatever the causes are, leaving the church and becoming more progressive has not served women well. A 2023 survey by the, now listen, Centers for Disease Control found that almost 60% of teenage girls reported feeling consistently sad or hopeless, and half of them seriously contemplated suicide. Now, please just pause and let that one sink in for a minute. Those are incredible numbers. This represented a 20% increase in mental health problems among teen girls within a decade. Over the same period, teen boys saw a comparatively small but still alarming 8% increase in mental health issues. It seems unlikely, then, that the peace so many young women are looking for will be found on TikTok or in left-wing politics. The God-shaped hole in every human heart becomes only more, not less, pronounced by rejecting organized religion. This means, at least in part, that any outreach to educated young women must include an appeal to tradition, to marriage, and to life beyond social media, as well as countering their counterfeits. It should also, as always, include appealing to our Savior. what we just sang about, whose high view and treatment of women have brought so many to see a church as a place of countercultural hope. Now, I think that trend, women leaving the church at a more rapid rate than men, that ought to cause a church like ours to do some real soul searching. Why is it? Well, maybe the problem is that men have not done a good job of living out our biblical role. and therefore it's not as attractive to women as it once was. That's a possibility here. Or maybe women, or men, don't have an interest in what God's Word says about these matters, especially if it contradicts what the world around us believes. So my question to you is this. What should a congregation like us do with this reality? And is the answer to stop teaching what Scripture says because of the risk of alienating someone or turning them off? So is the solution here teach less of what the Word of God says? And what might the impact on us and our ability to achieve our mission be if we did that? Before he died, Tim Keller. the longtime pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, was asked about how Christians interact with culture on topics like this. Now, you may want to sit back. You may not like this quote. If you say, I didn't like the last one, well, you might want to sit way back. Here's what Keller said. He said, most Christians are just nowhere nearly as deeply immersed in the Scripture and in theology as they are. Now, stop right there. Okay, start connecting the dots here. That's what I want you to especially think about. Is that the solution? Most Christians are just nowhere nearly as deeply immersed in the Scripture and in theology as they are in their respective social media bubbles and newsfeed bubbles. To be honest, I think the woke evangelicals are just much more influenced by MSNBC and liberal Twitter. Now you say, I really like that one. Well, here we go. The conservative Christians are much more influenced by Fox News and their particular loops. And they're both living in those things eight to ten hours a day. They go to church once a week and they're just, and here it is again, second time, they're just not immersed in the kind of biblical theological study that would nuance that stuff. So at least according to him, the answer wouldn't be less biblical truth, it's more. He went on to talk about how that would help us as a church accomplish our mission and culture. And he contrasted those who, on one hand, want to just abandon culture, but those who, on the other hand, want to take over culture by anger. And here's what he said, both those evangelical strategies are wrong. Both of them are about power and saying, how are we going to use power to live life the way we want? There's not enough about service. There's not enough about serving the common good. The proper cultural strategy, now please lock onto this phrase, is faithful presence within. I believe that so strongly. He had him not pulling away from the culture on one hand and not trying to take it over on the other. Faithful presence within means being faithful. Biblical, true. It means we're not going to assimilate, but we're going to be distinctively Christian. And I would add distinctively biblical. It's about an attitude of service, uncompromising in our beliefs, are we? But not withdrawing and not trying to dominate. So now, here's my question. What does it look like to be deeply immersed in the Scripture when it comes to a topic like the role of the husband in marriage, or like the role of the wife in marriage, and then to live that out faithfully in the culture in which we've been placed? With that in mind, I want to invite you to open your Bible now to Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5, that's on page 1172 of the Bible under the chair in front of you. So Ephesians chapter 5, or page 1172 of the Bible under the chair in front of you. Pastor Stephan mentioned that our theme this year is building on our heritage. And so we've been doing a verse-by-verse study through the book of Ephesians together, and now we're at the end of Ephesians chapter 5. and the beginning of chapter 6, where Paul gives some very specific and very practical teaching about the Christian family. And so we've titled this section, Strengthening Unity in Our Relationships. And honestly, I mean, let's just be frank about this. Nobody knows for sure what's going to happen to a church like ours if we continue to teach principles like the ones I'm about to read and then speak on. But I just want to be sure you understand this. We are not pragmatists around here. And what I mean by that is we don't make decisions on the basis of what we think might be the temporal results. We do what we do because we believe it pleases God. And then we're just going to trust Him for the outcome. Now, that then brings us to a study of the husband's role in marriage. Here we go, Ephesians 5, beginning in verse 21. and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. That sets up this entire discussion on both sides of the issue. And then Paul says, wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we're members of his body. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is great, but I'm speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife, even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. We're looking this morning for three aspects of a biblical husband's role. And I can hear somebody, especially somebody who's new to studying the Bible, saying something like this, you know, hey, you just answered your own question, Bob, because it's passages like this one that would motivate women to leave the church. I mean, look how favorably men are treated in this text. I don't buy that. I think understood properly, the instructions that are laid out here are equally challenging to men and to women. And there are plenty of people here who would say, see, show me Christ. That's what we said just a minute ago. There's plenty of people who would say that allowing Jesus Christ to give us the power and the strength to understand and follow His Word on topics like this, that's made all the difference in the world. all the difference in the world in our life and all the difference in the world in our marriage. That's why I'm going to do something a little bit different today. I've asked three different couples who are longtime members of our church to talk about each three aspects of the husband's role and specifically how that's guided them. And I'm doing that for a couple of reasons. One is, on the occasion of our 60th anniversary, it just provides an opportunity to acquaint you with some of our long-term members. But it's also an opportunity for us to thank the Lord for His timeless Word. Is that what you were doing as I was reading through this passage, by the way? After each verse, you just said, thank you, Lord, for your Word. Thank you, Lord, for your Word. Thank you for telling us that. Thank you for telling us that. And look, I understand that everybody in our community will accept this and will instead seek other sources of truth. That's fine. We believe in individual soul liberty, so we support people's freedom to decide what they're going to believe. But I think these three testimonies that you're going to hear this morning will remind us, as Peter said, Quoting Isaiah 40, for all flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers and the flower falls off. But what? The word of the Lord, including what I just read to you, that the word of our Lord does what? It endures forever. This is the word which was preached to you." And here's what I believe, and I hope you do too. Wise men and women build their lives and build their relationships on principles just like the ones we're studying. So three aspects of a biblical husband's role. First of all, glorify God by leading his wife. Very apparent from this and many other passages in the Word of God, the Lord gave men leadership responsibilities. And I really do believe this, that ought to bring everybody great relief, at least on one level. Because if you have ever been in a situation where nobody was leading and leadership was clearly necessary, it's chaos. It's so incredibly frustrating. In fact, think back to the places you've just been this last week. It's likely that in practically every one of them, somebody had to be leading, right? If you went to Meijer today. And many of us, in fact, I could do pastoral visitation at Meijer. I mean, just amazing how many of our church members I see at one of those locations. Well, I hope somebody was leading. I hope somebody decided what the checkers were going to be doing. I hope somebody decided what the people were going to stock on the shelves. That there had to be some sort of a leadership at the grocery store that you go to. That later on today you might go to a restaurant. I'm kind of hoping somebody would be leading. Somebody will be telling the waiters and the waitresses what to do. Somebody will be telling the cooks, like, wash your hands. I hope somebody is leading. It's amazing in how many situations you have found yourself in the last week, leadership was necessary in order to make that work. And I don't know about you, I like being in situations where somebody else is leading. I just really do. So, for example, my grandkids are in a couple different soccer leagues, and so Saturdays for me and my family right now are going and watching my grandsons play probably soccer. Well, I'll tell you, somebody has to be leading that, and I'm really glad it's not me. I just get to go and enjoy being the grandpa. I just show up. But somebody else made the schedule. Somebody else recruited the coaches. Somebody else made the rules. Somebody else mowed the grass. You couldn't have a soccer league without leadership. I'm glad for leadership, and I'm really glad to be in situations where somebody else is doing the leading. Now, you might say, well, why did God decide the husband should be the leader in the family? Well, let me just pause right there and say, what if God didn't answer that question? Does that change the issue of whether or not we're going to obey it? Because it's very, very clear in this passage. You know, I had a theology professor in seminary. His name was John Whitcomb. He was trained at Princeton. He was a genius, and he was a fabulous theology professor. And he used to say from time to time, he would say, Hark, do I hear a voice from the third heaven saying, who cares what you like? See, the question isn't necessarily, do I like that? Do I want that? Do I even understand all the reasons for it? The question is, is that what God's Word clearly says? And am I going to order my life and my marriage by what the Scripture says? Now, in this particular case, God does actually answer the question. But what you have to decide is, do you like the answer that He gives? So let's jump into it. Here you go. It's order of creation. He created Adam first. And you might say, well, so? That's a really big so according to the Lord, and here's how we know that. 1 Timothy 2, 12 and 13, I don't allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man but to remain quiet, for it was Adam who was first created and then Eve. There's one of the reasons we don't have female pastors here. And by the way, I want to be sure that you know this. I don't necessarily like that verse. I don't necessarily like the concept, but this is not my church. This is Jesus's church. And why is it Jesus's church? Because he bought it. He bought it with what? He bought it with His own blood. And He made me and He made you. He designed marriage. He created it. And then He laid out principles for us in order to have marriages that would honor Him. He declared that the husband to be the leader in the home. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church. He Himself being the Savior of the body, Now, I really think part of the key to understanding this, see those words in Ephesians 5.23, as Christ also? That's the key. We're talking about Christ-like leadership. You know, I've never heard a man or woman complain or be troubled that Jesus was the head of the church. Why is that? Well, it's because what does Christ-like leadership look like? The answer is it's servant leadership. And time doesn't allow us to walk through every nuance of this particular passage, but it's so very, very important. Remember we sang just a moment ago, show us Christ. Christ was the servant leader, but Jesus called them to himself and said, you know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them. So that's how unbelieving people lead. They lord their authority over them. And the great men exercise authority over them. It's not this way among you. But whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave, just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many." Meaning biblical leadership isn't dictatorship. It's looking for ways to serve. It's looking for needs to meet. But friend, listen, I've been around organizations, I've been around marriages for a long, long time. The bottom line is somebody has to have the ax over their neck. When there's some sort of an impasse, somebody has to be in a position to make the final call. So biblical leadership is service, and biblical leadership is sacrifice, but it is leadership. And I'll tell you, for every one wife I've ever heard say she felt her husband's leadership was dictatorial, I've had 10 who have said, I just wish my husband would lead. So what does that look like? What does it look like with skin on? I'd like for some of you, for the first time, to meet some of our long-term members, Chester and Betty Bankas. Chester and I were married in Pennsylvania. That's where we both were born and grew up. We had a church wedding. Family, friends, and church members were invited. Our pastor must have been a little extra eager when he saw some of the people in the congregation. We were glad he saw it as an opportunity to present the gospel, but he forgot to charge Chester. Yes, the pastor was so excited that he forgot to tell me what my marriage responsibilities were during the wedding ceremony. He may have been distracted by the people in the crowd. However, there was something else distracting him too, and he mentioned it. He said, talking about me, that this young man seems to have a little trouble smiling today. It's funny what we remember about our wedding. Before we go further, I want you all to know that if I had to do it over again, I would be smiling from ear to ear with the biggest grin ever when getting married to my wonderful wife and friend, Betty. What in the world was I thinking? Well, my mother and father divorced when I was 18. I remember what that was like when it was announced. My emotional response reflected a loss of hope. Viewing the relationship between Betty's parents didn't provide hope either. Their relationship was dysfunctional and not one that others would want to follow. In 1981, when we got married, in our society approximately 50% of first marriages entered into divorce. I didn't want our marriage to be one of those statistics. I was pondering what that meant to me and the seriousness of my commitment. In 1982, the economy was out of control and Chester became unemployed. However, he was fortunate to have an employer that invited us to Lafayette in 1983. We started attending Faith in that year. Well, it seems like just yesterday that Betty and I were in the young marriage class here at Faith. And I was attending Men of Faith for the first time. We were young, 27, and we were expecting our first child. We were both recognizing that the teaching that we were getting here at Faith was biblical and very practical also. When I went to Men of Faith, I heard things that I don't recall hearing before. That as husbands, we were to be learners, lovers, and leaders. There were three scriptures that were used to support that statement. Learner, 1 Peter 3, 7. You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is woman, and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Lover, Ephesians 5.25. Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Leader, Ephesians 5.23. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church. Now, the natural man's view of being a leader is, I get to tell others what to do. I get to be the boss. I get to have the premier position in the family. Being a leader sounds like an advantaged idea, a sought after position. Well, the teachings of men of faith didn't let the world's view of being a leader be the model that we should follow. Mark 10, 41 to 45 are also verses that we were taught about at men of faith. If I can paraphrase the scripture, it says that If we want to be the first, a leader, we are not to be exercised in authority over people, but rather become a servant of all. When we consider Ephesians 5.25, where it says that we as husbands are to love our wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. That also changed my view of what a leader should be. How many leaders did I see sacrificing for others? It usually seems to be the other way around. In 1 Peter 3, 7 it talks about giving honor to your wife as the weaker vessel. Well, I didn't understand that at first. Who honors something weak? Well, it's talking about treating her as someone that is precious, like someone may treat a special thin-walled piece of the finest china. Being a young man, especially with a natural tendency to sin, it made me think quite a bit as I was trying to bring these principles into a unified framework. It made me see that there was a duty and a responsibility of being a leader also. As a young father, I had the opportunity to learn about being a leader. When I think back about some of the life events that stick out where I had to be a leader, it was asking forgiveness. Children and disobedience somehow seemed to go hand in hand. So I was grappling with the situation. I can't remember the specifics any longer. I think it might have falsely accused one of my children of something they didn't do. If it was to be a leader, one leading the family in the right direction, then I had to ask forgiveness and model it properly to be a leader. I couldn't sweep it under the rug and feed my pride. I couldn't minimize it, so I didn't need to deal with it. I needed to ask forgiveness, according to John 1 9. Asking forgiveness in the parent-child relationship was one thing. Asking forgiveness in the husband-wife relationship was another thing that I had to grow at also. I also remember a time when we had another, when I had another epiphany, a moment that jarred me into reality. It was a time, and I can't remember the specifics, when my wife expected me to be the leader and put me into that position. And I thought, oh, I really have to lead. And this means that I have to do something that I had to expend some time and effort to try to get it right for the whole family. Trying to remember what it was, it could have been agreeing on a form of discipline for the children. It could have been how much money to spend on Christmas. It could have been requesting some input on how to handle which one of the children got to sit in the front seat when one mom was driving here and there. I can't remember the specific. I just remember that she was graciously helping me to take on the responsibility. In that specific instance, it helped me to see that I had to do some learning, especially from her and from God's Word, to be able to lend some help in how to move forward. There are many other instances too, too many for me to remember them all. Well, where I had the opportunity to lead, reading the Bible, devotions for the family, returning good for evil, confessing sin, resisting pride and being humble instead, teaching the children, discipline for the children, loving my wife, remembering her birthday, and many other instances. Some I hit with the home run, with some I failed at. God was gracious, and so was Betty. God's Word is essential in helping me to lead biblically. You know, what a beautiful picture of 1 Peter 1, 24 and 25, that the grass withers. There's all kinds of ways to think about roles in marriage, that the grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God stands forever. And husbands, I just want to ask you this morning, because there's practical questions bubbling up out of this passage, are you leading your wife and are you leading your family even when it's hard? And wives, I want to ask you, are you making it as easy as possible for your husband to fulfill that responsibility? And I realize also a number of you are in a dating relationship right now or thinking about a dating relationship right now. And guys, I would just ask you, are you willing and able to lead? Even when it's hard to do that. Young ladies, are you looking for a guy who will lead you when you need to be led? And are you willing to be led? And again, I realize that you might look at this and say, this is not the way I intend to lead, or this is not the way I intend to live. This is not the way we're going to function in our marriage. I just want to remind you, you'll go from being like Chester and Betty in the young marriage class at Faith to being gray-haired, and it goes really, really fast. The grass withers. The flower fades. The Word of our God does what? It stands forever. Secondly, glorify God by loving his wife. This too is clearly emphasized in the passage that in ways that ought to give every husband here pause. Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. There's not a married man in this room who would say that we've got that one mastered. And if you back up just for a minute, there are reasons why of everything that could have been said about marriage in the Bible, these are the particular areas that are emphasized especially. And I'm just going to tell you why. You may not like this either, but I'm just going to tell you. Here's what it is. Women struggle following the leadership that they're given. And if that's not true in your particular case, praise God. But that's why this is emphasized so frequently in Scripture. And men struggle either with not leading or in leading in ways that are selfish, which is why it's so important to remember that biblical love is a choice to give sacrificially. If you know one verse in the Bible, you probably know this one, for God so loved the world that He that he gave. Biblical love is a choice to give sacrificially. That's the love that Christ displayed on the cross. And I think it'd be wise for many, if not all of us, as husbands to spend some time this week just meditating on the cross work of Jesus Christ. And then comparing our love for our wives or to anybody else to that. And I think we'll find it terribly convicting. Terribly convicting. Remember this, emotions will come or they'll go, but godly love, because if you're saying, I cannot do this, well, the source of what we're talking about this morning is our Savior Himself. And that kind of love never fails. What an incredible promise. Well, biblical love is patterned after Christ's love for us, which means that we're to love first. I can close my eyes and hear Pastor Goud saying about a man who complained that his home wasn't a very loving place. I can hear Pastor Goud in that southern drawl that he always had to say, well, then you better get with it. That's what he was saying to that husband because if we're to love like Christ, then it's our responsibility to love how? To love first, to love most. Greater love has no man than this. It's not 50-50. Can you imagine if Jesus conditioned his love for us by our love for him? We're to love first, we're to love most, we're to love sacrificially as Christ also loved the church and gave. And I would just ask every husband who's here today, can you point to areas of sacrifice for your wife and for your family? And are there specific steps that could and should be taken in that direction to make that truer? We're to love in spite of faults. But God commended his love toward us and that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And even regardless of rejection. Think about this. Did you place your faith and trust in Christ the very first time you heard about his love? Probably not. You've probably done what? You rejected it, and you rejected it, and you rejected His love. And how did He respond when you rejected Him? He kept loving, and kept loving, and kept loving. You know, we had a beautiful illustration of this recently in our church. Friday before last, I had the privilege and the responsibility of performing Dorothy Hessler's funeral, a 63-year-old woman, Dorothy, last December, right around Christmas, was diagnosed with brain cancer. And they had some treatments that they tried in January and February, but they weren't very, very effective. And the family then had to decide how they were going to care for Dorothy and what appeared to be her final months of life. And I'm not saying that everybody could do this. I'm not saying everybody should do this, but I'm just telling you what they did. They decided that they were going to care for Dorothy in their home as long as they possibly could. Tom and Dorothy have two adult daughters, Jessica and Jenna. Jenna is married to Adam, and what Jenna and Adam decided to do was to move back in the family home. That's what Adam suggested, the son-in-law, so that as a team they could care round-the-clock for Dorothy. I remember just a couple of weeks ago going into their dining room, because at that point they had set up a hospital room, or a hospital bed. They were working with hospice right there in their dining room. And there was Dorothy. By that time, she was hardly recognizable anymore. The disease had just ravished her body. And again, I'm not saying every family can do this. I'm not saying every family should do this, but they did. And they cared for Dorothy right up to her dying breath. And we were able to have a wonderful memorial service celebrating her faith in Christ, and to celebrate the fact that where she was now was a place where there was no more cancer, but also to be able to celebrate the love, the Christ-like, sacrificial love of a husband. Their wedding was the very first wedding that was conducted in our auditorium over at Faith East. So they were married in 1986, and they said words something like this, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." And because they had built their marriage on the truth of the Word of God, they were able to evidence that kind of love to the very end. I'd like you to listen now to Jeff and Lori Walters. We're Jeff and Lori Walters, and we've been members of faith for 39 years. In fact, our first Sunday at faith was three weeks after we were married. It was the pig roast Sunday, or commonly known now as the community picnic. Talk about great timing. I was immediately excited that I had found a church that would challenge us from the word of God. And when Pastor Byers asked me to speak on the role of a husband being a lover, I certainly didn't feel adequate. But remembering that if I've had any success in fulfilling this role, is because of God's grace in our lives, and we should be eager to show our works of our lives to the praise of His glory. I'll let you in on something. I was quite a bit slower in thinking faith was to be our church home, but I am so thankful for Jeff's leadership in us deciding to join faith. As you'll see as we share with you, all the roles God asks a husband to fulfill, leader, learner, and lover, are incredibly intertwined. As we've been taught faithfully from Ephesians 5, to be a lover that God has commanded me to be, I need to love Lori sacrificially as Christ loved the church. I distinctly remember being taught over the years here at Faith that I should come home to serve rather than to be served. That was something concrete that I can understand and try to apply. For example, when our kids were young, Jeff would get them ready for bed every night and help them get ready for the day every morning. What makes this even more notable was that Jeff worked the night shift. He'd get the kids ready for bed before he went to work, and then when he came home from work, he'd get busy with breakfasts and getting them dressed. As they got older, he routinely did their Bible lesson before he'd go to bed after working all night. In fact, he still works that shift because we think it offers the best schedule for our family and his church involvement. Over 36 years on this shift hasn't been particularly easy for him, but to have your husband serve you and the people you love most in the world made me feel cherished. To love Lori well, I needed to nourish her, as Ephesians 5.29 explains. That's how Christ treats the church. If you're around my wife for any length of time, you'll probably hear her say, I've got a brain storm or an idea. And she's dreamed up some pretty scary things. In addition, the Holy Spirit has gifted her to serve the church, and I need to encourage and enable her to do that. There have been many ways I've wanted to serve in the church or community, which have not necessarily been in Jeff's comfort zone. But with his consistent and strong support, I've been encouraged to serve and grow in my gifts. He's also been so good about helping me look at my God-given priorities and not become overcommitted, even with worthwhile things. Through the various seasons of life, Lori's God-given responsibilities and thus priorities have changed. I can love her well by encouraging her to fulfill those responsibilities and by looking for ways that I can make it easier for her to do that. For the last eight years, my mother had some significant health issues. She'd come stay at our house every other month for a week and have several doctor's visits. Then, beginning in March of 2023, it became apparent that she needed 24-7 care. So, for the last nine months of her life, I spent part of every other week in Southern Indiana helping provide that care. Then, after she passed away, this schedule continued for another five and a half months while my sister and I emptied the family home. There was never even a hint of a complaint from Jeff. It was such a blessing to be able to honor my mother well until the end. To love Lori well, I've needed to learn what it feels like to love her. From First Peter 3-7, I have taught that we need to love. What does it feel to love me, dear brother? It's hard. Oh, boy. Ready? No, I've got to take those kegels down. OK. To love Laurie, well, I've also needed to learn what it feels like love to her. From 1 Peter 3.7, I've been taught that I need to learn Laurie. That lets me love her well. Lori isn't one who necessarily appreciates flowers and romantic dinners. Rather, she appreciates us doing things together and getting things done. Honey-do lists, projects around the house, etc. are ways to show her love. That doesn't let some of you husbands whose wives do like more romantic gestures off the hook, though. Jeff knows me well and gives me a hug when I need it and I don't even know that I need it, or laughs at me in the nicest way possible when I'm being ridiculous. I can be way too serious way too often. He has been long suffering and learning me well. We are very thankful for the biblical teaching that we've received here at Faith over the years. My prayer is that I will finish well in the role of husband to Lori, and that we both give a good account for how we have stewarded this gift of marriage. So Jeff's a pharmacist. He works at the local hospital. I'm kind of glad there would be a pharmacist working the night shift in case somebody needed drugs in the middle of the night. And yet here's a man who put his children to bed. then went and worked all night, and then when he got off work was there to help get them ready for school." What is that? That's biblical love. Jeff learned that from the Word of God. He's dependent on his Savior in order to love his family that way. And now as they're old, the grass withers, the flower fades, but The Word of our God, it stands forever. Now, each one of the testimonies already mentioned the third aspect of a husband's role, glorify God by learning and honoring his wife. One of the most challenging verses in the Bible for husbands is right there. You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she's a woman, and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." Very, very clear. It's a command to learn about our wives, which is a command that certainly takes time and effort. Nobody can just throw up their hands and say, well, this is impossible. We can't do that with any of God's commands. Which, by the way, is why we need a personal relationship with Christ to live this way. And so if you're here this morning and you've never trusted Christ as Savior and Lord, it would be impossible to live this way without knowing Him. And if you would like to learn more about what it means to have a personal relationship with the Lord, our pastors would be happy to talk with you about this. It's also a command that includes being mindful of her weaknesses, and you have to decide what Peter meant with that phrase, as with someone weaker. Be very careful on that one. I don't know about you, but I've seen a lot more women pushing their husbands' wheelchairs than the other way around. But it has to mean something, and it ought to result in sensitivity, and it ought to result in patience. And then Peter said, a husband is commanded to honor his wife, including respect and thankfulness and appreciation. And what I'm hoping right now is for any woman who is here listening to all this, you would say, wait a minute, it's not like the husbands get off scot-free here. There's heavy responsibilities that are laid on the position that God has given them. No wonder women flocked to the early church when they heard these things. honoring her because she shares the same inheritance. She's a fellow heir of the grace of life. And then even this warning, so that your prayers would not be hindered. I'd like you to hear from one more couple from faith. It's Jeff and Jana Kessler. When Jana and I were married in May of 1977, we started attending Faith Baptist Church on South 18th Street. Pastor Bill Good was not only our senior pastor, but he was also our Sunday school teacher. We had a lot of young marrieds at church during that time. And Pastor Good loved to teach from the book of Ephesians. Ephesians chapter five, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. As a young husband, I did not know what that meant, but I wanted to learn what that meant. I wanted to learn more about God's Word and learn how to love Jana better, observing and listening to her better. She was not only my wife, but she was and is my best friend. I knew and believed that being a better learner in God's Word would help me be a better husband, have a more godly marriage. At that time in life, I also had a communication problem. I would clam up when things did not go my way. Then we were taught the four rules of communication. Being honest, staying current, attacking the problem and not the person, and act and don't react. I failed miserably at principle number two. God had inspired through his word how to communicate. I needed to put off some old habits, as in Ephesians 4.22, and put on some new habits. I had much to learn. As Jeff's wife, I have appreciated his desire to be a learner of God's Word. He has been in Bible study for over 25 years, has also attended classes on Wednesday nights, and has attended ABFs during our time at Faith. On most mornings, I find him in his personal Bible study and prayer time. He is a diligent student of God's Word. And what a blessing it is to have a church that gives us so many opportunities to learn and to grow. It is also a blessing to have so many godly examples in our lives to listen to and to observe. Learning doesn't only come from church services and classes. Jeff applies what he has learned in traditional ways, but also uses what he has learned by the examples set by others. Knowledge alone without actions serves little purpose. During our second year of marriage, I was hired to teach and work in two very time-consuming extracurricular activities. After a couple of years, the schedule was taking a toll on our marriage. I am so thankful that Jeff was wise enough to know, through what we were taught at church, that I needed to make some changes in my workload or our marriage wouldn't survive. At that time, Jeff was starting a new business and my salary was the only income we had. If I would no longer take the extra work assignments, there was a risk that I would lose my job, lose our only income, and I left the work. But our marriage was far more important. My employers altered my schedule. God was faithful as always. I kept my job for 34 years and we've been married for over 47. Having a husband who is a dedicated learner of God's word and applies what he learns doesn't mean that life will be without trials or that Jeff will always do the right thing or make the right decision. It does mean that God will give us strength and direction during those trials. As Paul wrote in Philippians 3.13, I have not yet apprehended. We too have not yet apprehended. We are still learning, growing, but no one believed that regardless of the season in life, God is too loving to be unkind and too wise to make a mistake. His grace, mercy, and love is sufficient for us. Hey, as I close, let me just ask you, does our church, does our community need less of the Word of God? Or does it need more? And what does faithful presence within look like in our community? Well, it looks like people like Chester and Betty. It looks like people like Jeff and Lori. It looks like people like Jeff and Jana. And why is that? It's because the grass withers, the flower fades. But the Word of our God, it stands forever. Let's pray together. Father, thank You that You've given us clear principles in Your Word. Lord, there's no doubt about what Your Word says. The question is whether we're the kind of people who are willing to submit ourselves to You, believing that Your way is best, even when it's challenging, and even when it's contrary to what our world would say. And so, Father, thank you for the great cloud of witnesses we have, other men and women who have gone before us, not perfectly, but who have allowed these principles to guide them. And Lord, I pray that you would help each one of us to consider carefully how we're thinking and living about such matters. We pray these things in Christ's name. Amen.