Guide us, O God, by your word and spirit, so that in your light we may see light, in your truth find wisdom, and in your will discover peace. Add your blessing to the reading and the hearing and the preaching of your word, and grant us all the grace to trust and obey you and all God's people said. Amen. Ask any adult and they will tell you that one of the most important decisions you can make in your entire life is who you're going to marry. Now thankfully you are in a church and part of a whole bunch of churches who believe your parents and pastors can help you figure out who may or may not be a good person to marry but ultimately you are going to have to choose who to marry. Girls as you grow up, you are going to start noticing those gross, nasty boys aren't that gross. One day, you're going to be watching Ultimate Frisbee and think, that boy can throw that Frisbee real good. Boys, right now, you are running around and climbing trees and shooting hoops. But one of these days, you're going to see if that girl wants to climb or shoot, too. And that same girl, who has no interest at all in shooting a basketball, will agree to go to the gym with you, and you're going to feel kind of dizzy about it. Before long, you'll both be twitterpated and want to get married. Now, that might be a good thing, because you're both wise godly, and you've received wise counsel to help you make sure you're ready to enter into a relationship that will literally affect every day of the rest of your life and your family and friends' lives. If you're foolish, you might be setting yourself up for five, 10, or 50 years of utter heartache for you, your friends, and your family. who you choose to marry will change the rest of your life for better or worse. And because you vow before God to stay with that person for better or worse, who you marry will determine if there are more betters or more worses. In our text today and in our other gospel reading, we heard Jesus explain God's standard for marriage. And when his disciples heard just how permanent God intended marriage to be, the question, even from married people, was who on earth would do something like that? Beloved, if our understanding of just how high the standard is for our commitment to one another in marriage leaves us with any other response than, wow, that sounds impossible, well then we don't understand God's original design for marriage. And as a result, we likely won't be able to understand or reflect the mutual commitment Christ has toward us and requires of us toward him. Now there is a lot to unpack with the topic of marriage and divorce and remarriage and so I'm going to keep the sermon a little bit shorter and just focus on Luke's text and then allow for more time and question and answer. But the verses that we read are a little tricky. And so similar to last week, we're going to have to do a little more digging the normal to understand what Jesus is saying about marriage and divorce here in Luke. If we don't see what's behind his words, we could end up with some views of marriage and divorce that aren't quite in line with the whole teaching of scripture. Now if you remember from last week, Jesus used a story or a parable of an unjust manager. who had been charging his manager's debtors the maximum allowable amount under the law to highlight how crooked and unjust the scribes and Pharisees had become. We heard that God was about to take away their stewardship or their oversight of his people. If they would repent and, like Jesus, begin forgiving the debts of the sinners and Gentiles who were coming to Jesus, well then after the temple fell, they would still have an eternal house of worship. Now we didn't get to cover the last little bit of that story very much, but in verse 13 of Luke 16, Jesus closes this lesson to his disciples with the reality that you cannot serve two masters, two lords. You will either be devoted to God and willingly forsake the worldly wealth, or you will choose to be devoted to your worldly wealth and forsake God. Luke then tells us that the Pharisees, the guys in the bullseye of Jesus' parable, were lovers of money. And even though Jesus wasn't talking directly to them, they heard all these things and sneered at Jesus. He had hit the nerve that he was targeting. And once he got a response out of them, he then turns directly to them and says, you justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. And then he makes a weird transition. He says the law and the prophets were until John, meaning the baptizer, and since he began his ministry, the good news of the kingdom has been being preached and folks are pressing their way into it. He then says it's easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for a single stroke of the law to become void. And then, in that setting, Luke records Jesus saying something that seems irrelevant, and sounds extreme. Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. I'm gonna say it again in more normal language because I do want the weight of what Jesus is saying to sink in before we break it down. Every man who gets a divorce and then gets married to someone else commits adultery. And the guy who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. So a guy who initiates a divorce commits adultery. And a guy who gets married to a woman who has been divorced also commits adultery, at least that's how it appears. So if we only had Luke's gospel and no other book of the Bible, things would seem pretty cut and dry. No divorces. and no marrying someone who has ever been divorced. And that is a view that some people still take to this day. But we don't only have Luke. And he knew that when he recorded this story and therefore likely didn't feel the need to include all the references of divorce and remarriage in the Bible because he's not trying to lay out a thorough point by point teaching on God's view of these matters. Luke chose to put these words of Jesus right here, right after the parable of the unjust manager and the rebuke of the scribes and Pharisees for loving money and the declaration that God's law is not to be toyed with because these guys were hiding behind a loophole in the Bible to justify their sinful divorces and the benefits they were receiving from the women they were putting away. Now I realize that's not quite as clear as we might want it to be here in Luke, but if you'll stick with me, we'll do a little bit of a deep dive, take what we know from the Bible and the situation in the first century so we can connect some dots. Most people are familiar with what has become known as Matthew's exception clause, which is seen by most commentators to be Jesus's interpretation of our Old Testament lesson from Deuteronomy 24. In Matthew's gospel, Jesus is the better Moses. And so he records Jesus, including the right interpretation of Deuteronomy 24, which gives a precondition for divorce that could make it just, porneia. Your English Bibles translate it sexual immorality. But in Luke, Jesus isn't Moses. So he's not teaching a proper interpretation of Deuteronomy 24. In Luke, Jesus is the king of Jubilee who has come to relieve people from their oppressors. Something Deuteronomy 24 was also written to help ensure. In Deuteronomy, we heard Quite a confusing verse. When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and sends her away, and then she marries another man, but then that man divorces her or dies, the first husband is not permitted to take her back to be his wife. Now, we're not gonna break it down in extreme detail, but essentially there were two interpretations of the phrase some indecency. The more conservative teachers thought that phrase meant some nakedness or some form of sexual immorality, and that was the only just grounds for divorce, something Jesus affirms as being right in Matthew 19. The predominant view in Jesus' day was that a man could divorce his wife if he found anything displeasing about her. Now, to be fair, that is technically a possible translation of the words, at least in the Greek version of the Old Testament. In typical Pharisee fashion, these guys were hiding behind that technicality while missing the entire point of the law. Last summer and fall, we spent 22 weeks pointing out the goodness of God and how his law was a revelation of his loving kindness, particularly meant to protect the weak and vulnerable in society, and Deuteronomy 24 was not an exception to that. Now, I don't expect you to remember this, but we showed how the structure of Deuteronomy was built off of the 10 words, or the 10 commandments. In Deuteronomy 5, Moses gave the 10 commandments, and then the rest of the book was sermons fleshing out each one. Now, you might think the sermon in Deuteronomy 24 would be part of the seventh commandment, not to commit adultery. but it was actually in the eighth. Thou shalt not steal. And that helps us interpret not only what's going on in Deuteronomy 24, but what is also going on in Jesus's day. Now at first glance, that might sound confusing, but you have to remember, marriages were not just two people who love each other coming together and promising to keep loving each other. Marriages were, and probably still should be, contracts between families. And in the Old Testament, when a woman was married, she brought with her a dowry, usually in the form of money, but sometimes in the form of property or servants. This money was meant to help the family get established and also ensure that the woman would be taken care of should something happen to her husband. Now, if once they got married, she proved to have been sexually active before marriage, or was unfaithful during marriage, she could be divorced, and the husband would then keep her dowry. If the husband falsely accused her of those things, well then he would have to pay a huge fine, and then he was bound to her for the rest of his life, no matter what. Deuteronomy 22 lays all of that out and more under Moses' sermon on the seventh commandment. But again, this particular clause in Deuteronomy 24 is under the eighth commandment. Now that's not to say what the man is doing in Deuteronomy 24 is not also adultery because Jesus groups those together. But when you factor in the dowry, what could technically happen was that a man could marry a woman, accuse her of being unfaithful, divorce her, and then keep her dowry, all without incurring any guilt on himself, then she could claim innocence and remarry. And if and when that second husband died, if her first husband would take her back, well then he would also get the property and the money that that man left behind. So let's break it down again because there's a lot of moving parts. Man marries woman, consummates the marriage, accuses her of being unfaithful, divorces her, keeps her dowry, After she gets remarried and her second husband dies, the first husband takes her back along with her second husband's stuff. Not because the first guy loves her and wants to care for her, but because he's greedy and he wants to use her to acquire more wealth. The law in Deuteronomy 24 was meant to keep that from happening. Men from stealing women's dowries and then stealing his neighbor's stuff. And the rulers and judges were supposed to be enforcing this law to keep that from happening. But by the time of Jesus, the very men who were supposed to be caring for God's people, upholding his laws, and protecting the vulnerable, had become so wicked, so unjust, and so greedy, they were willing to twist God's word to get what they wanted. To tie it back into Luke 16 and why he puts it here, they loved money more than God. And because they had a Bible verse to support their actions, they could not only do this horrendous thing to the women they were supposed to be protecting, they could feel self-righteous while doing it, because it was in the Bible. These guys and their marriage and divorce practices had so corrupted their entire society, Jesus could say, everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. Y'all's view of marriage is so bad, so far gone, and you've made divorce so easy and so common that everyone who's been divorced and remarried has committed adultery because all y'all's divorces are illegitimate. You've so lowered the bar for divorce, every divorce and remarriage is adulterous. I think that's what's going on here in Luke rather than some umbrella teaching on divorce and remarriage. But with that in mind, could Jesus not level that same accusation toward us? Now thankfully not us, us I hope, but us as in a broader society which the Christian church is responsible for ushering in. I mean the Pharisees at least didn't have no fault divorce. which accounts for almost 100% of divorces now, and was legalized while most of the country still claimed to be Christian. Ronald Reagan, everyone's favorite Christian president, helped us Pharisee-ize divorce by legalizing no-fault divorce in 1969 in California, and by 2010, no-fault divorce was embraced in all 50 states. Now you can give a reason for why you're getting divorced, but in good old Pharisee fashion, because it's legal, no one's at fault. Now I'm glad that makes the adults feel real good about themselves. But explain that to your kid. A kid who has a mom and dad who they love and trust. who they want to please more than anyone else, and who they look to for safety and protection, and who then find out one day their entire world is getting ripped apart. Dad's been flirting with girls at work. Mom daydreams about a life without all these kids and responsibilities. Dad is unromantic, I mean emotionally abusive. Mom is a disrespectful nag. They fight, going from heated blowups to icing each other out, and then one day, enough's enough. Now it's no one's fault, of course. It's for the best, really. Actually, it's for the kids. You know, they don't deserve to grow up in a house where their parents aren't happy. at least how the story went in our house and in most of my friends' houses growing up. No, of course, everyone was a Christian and no one wanted to judge anyone else, so no churches got involved that I'm aware of. And while so-called Christian moms and dads were busy having their consciences seared by a no-judgment church and wicked, unjust, greedy government officials are allowing it. Generations of kids grew up not knowing what it's like to feel safe and secure even when things or hard, never knowing what it's like to have a dad work 50 or 60 hours a week to provide and still come home and goose mom, and not seeing a mom who loves and submits to her husband's mission for the family, whose mission is to glorify God. Add a little dose if God wants you to be happy. Throw in a dash of critical theories. Anything men do is abusive. Go to a therapist here and a group therapy session there. And here we are. Commitment is only something you have to do when you're getting what you want out of the deal. And anyone who would contradict that must die. Just like the Pharisees, we love to look down on. Instead of seeing God's few necessary preconditions for a lawful divorce as a mercy to keep us in our marriages, we look for loopholes so that we can get out of our vows while keeping our self-righteousness intact. Now look, I know there are some of you who either have or need to get out of a very bad situation. And God has been merciful not only to keep us in hard marriages, but to provide for a way out if and when you're undergoing such unjust suffering from high-handed covenant breaking at the hands of the one person on earth that was supposed to be most like Christ to you. If you think that's you, Please come see me, or Britain, or one of the elders. If you don't want that to be you, come see us sooner. Part of our job is to be good stewards of the people God has put under our care. Not lowering the bar so low that you destroy yourself and your family by getting out of marriage too easily, but also not raising the bar higher than God, and likewise submitting you to a life of destruction at the hands of someone else. I know the church doesn't get great press when it comes to these kinds of things, and know that it is probably scary to think about entrusting yourself to anyone, particularly people who might tell you something you don't want to hear. But do you know who is even less qualified than conservative churches to tell you whether or not you should stay in your marriage? You. Your group of friends. Your 29-year-old PSU grad who has her psych D. Do you know who will destroy your marriage quicker than someone who will encourage you to reflect Christ and his church even when it's hard? Most modern Christian marriage resources. How we love. His needs, her needs. The five love languages can rot your marriage from the inside out. I've called them out before, but the cure, so-called, Christian parachurch ministries like Betrayal and Beyond, Called to Peace, and Living Waters of Hope Offer, is usually worse than the disease. Ridiculous books like Jesus and John Wayne, The Great Sex Rescue, and Why Does He Do That, will plant deadly seeds in your soul, and well-intentioned, Dangerous Christian teachers like Joy Forrest, Leslie Vernick, and Chris Moles will tickle your ears to death. In Jesus' day, the word that confused everyone and let them abuse the sanctity of marriage was askemon. In ours, the word is love. In the name of love, We are destroying the very institution God created to help us understand what love actually looks like. True love is devotion. It is loyalty, even when it's hard, even at great cost to the lover. God is love. And in this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son to be the sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we must also love one another. And yes, that includes our difficult spouses. Marriage wasn't just created to make us happy, Neither was it created just to show how much suffering we can put up with before finally calling it quits. Marriage was created so that men and women might know God and what his love looks like. Marriage exists so that the father can fill the world with children. Husbands exist to reveal the truth that the son is so devoted to his bride that he's willing to give up his own life for her. Wives exist to reflect the Spirit's eager submission to help the son complete his mission of saving and conquering the world through the birth of children. That means when it comes to marriage, husbands, you have the obligation and privilege of reflecting Christ to your wife and to your kids and to the world. You cannot be harsh with her. You cannot hunch over your iPhone and pine for another bride. You cannot demand she give up her life for you while you refuse to give up your life for her. You're called to love her. You're called to delight in her and nourish her, to bring her comfort and joy and safety. You're called to lead her and sanctify her and show her what a single-minded, life-giving devotion actually looks like. Wives, you have the obligation and privilege of reflecting the Spirit-filled church's joyful submission to Christ as you submit to your husband. You cannot grumble and be thankless and critical and disrespectful. You cannot daydream about more romantic men and complain he's just not giving you what you think you need. You cannot demand He give up His life for you while you refuse to give up your life for Him. It's backwards. You are called to love and respect Him, to bring Him happiness and pleasure and peace, to follow Him and pray for Him and show Him what a single-minded life of devotion looks like. The only way either of you are going to be able to do that is if you come to see and meditate very frequently on the fact that the kind of love you're called to show your spouse is just a tiny, infinitesimally small bit of the love Christ has already shown you. Which of you in this room can say you deserve God's love? How many of you come in here every week and confess the same sin over and over again or don't? Can you really say you would want Christ to show the same love and devotion to you as you show to your spouse? Now, I don't say that to discourage you. I actually am telling you that to encourage you. and to keep going to the only source of strength you could possibly tap into to do something as hard as love your wife like Christ loves the church or as hard as submitting to your husband like the church submits to Christ. It's only once you stop asking what you can get from your spouse and start thinking what you can give them. Stop thinking about what you're owed and start thinking about what you've been given, stop thinking about how far is too far before you have biblical grounds for divorce and start thinking about how far you can possibly go to tell the wonderful story of Christ's love and faithfulness to your spouse, but you'll actually be able to do so. And it's only when you start thinking and living like that that you'll be able to forsake your Phariseeism. and embrace your spouse, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, amen. Our communion meditation is from the second chapter of Philippians. If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him. and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." That was the scripture text we used yesterday for Mikey and Arisa's wedding because I wanted to charge Mikey and Arisa to approach their marriage the same way Christ approached them, my life for yours. Christ did not consider his own rights or his person something to be clutched onto or grasped hold of. Instead, considering the desperate estate of his people, he emptied himself. condescended to personhood, was born under the law he created, experienced hunger and fatigue and excruciating pain on the cross for his bride, for you. At this table, in this bread and wine, we see in the body and blood of Christ what true love, true devotion, true marriage costs. Life for life. And we see that even though true devotion brings death to your own life, it also results in resurrection life for you and the one you love. Christ died and rose again so that you too might die and rise again with and in him. Many of you made vows before God to love, comfort, honor, protect, submit, forsake others, and be faithful to your spouse. You promise to have them and to hold them from that day forward for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love them and cherish them till death do you part according to God's holy law. Many of you took those vows and broke them. You've experienced the pain and agony, not just in your own life, but in seeing the pain and agony, breaking those vows brought on your children and your children's children. There are very few things that bring more destruction than divorce, and some of us know that to be true in ways that others can't imagine. Praise God. If that is you, let this table be a reminder to you that even though you broke your promises, Christ never will. He gave his life for you. He died so that you might live. Go and sin no more. Others of you, some for the second or third or fourth time are trying to keep your promises, but you know that you don't love your spouse like this. There have been times when you've not sacrificed your own desires for your wife's, have not submitted to your husband, and have not loved and cherished your spouse in the ways you promised. You haven't thought, word, and deed broken your vows. Perhaps not high-handedly, but you have dishonored the Lord of marriage by dishonoring the spouse he gave you. Make no mistake, this table is for you too. Not so you can come here, have your broken vows forgiven, and then go back out there and break them again, but so that you can have your sins Forgiven and then receive the grace you need to go and love your wife like Christ loved the church and submit to your husband Like the church submits to Christ for the glory of God and the life of the world. Amen Christ our Passover lamb has been sacrificed For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you that the Lord Jesus on the same night that he was betrayed took bread Let us give thanks for the bread We thank you, Father, for sending your Son, the Lord of marriage, to give his life for us, his church. And we thank you now for giving us his body, true bread from heaven, to be life for us, in us, and through us. In his name we give you thanks. Amen. And when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, take, eat, this is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me. These are the gifts of God for the people of God.