One of the topics that Pastor Calafongo asked me to address in the time that I've had with you this week is grandparenting. And now we're moving from a topic that I understand because of having been a parent to a topic that I'm very involved in right now as a grandparent. So I'm really honored to be able to speak to you about the task of being a grandparent. Margie and I have been blessed. God gave us three children who are now all adults and we have nine grandchildren and we've had the great blessing of having them all live near to us. So we've spent a great deal of time with our kids and with our grandkids and been able to really have the kind of level of involvement in their lives where we feel that we know them personally as individuals and we know their strengths and their weaknesses and their interests and can be very engaged with them, much more so than just if we were grandparents that they saw occasionally on holidays and so forth. So we're thankful for the opportunities that God has given us. This topic of being a grandparent is a very complex topic. Because one of the challenges of dealing with this topic is the fact there are so many varieties of grandparent relationships. I mean some grandparents have children who are doing a great job in raising their children. And so as a grandparent, they're simply involved in a support role. They're there to support and encourage and to be cheerleaders for their kids who are doing the job well. Some grandparents have children, adult children who are not Christians. And so they are trying to influence their grandchildren for Christ and trying to work around the fact or work with the fact that the parent is not teaching God's ways to their kids. And so they're trying to be that influence for Christ in the lives of the grandchildren. Some grandparents have single parent children who are doing the job without the support of a spouse and are trying to manage all the challenges. And so they're there to be supported and encouraged and sometimes take up the slack. Some parents have broken relationships with their adult children. And along with those broken relationships, not only all the attendant challenges, of trying to get along with that adult child, but also the difficulty of trying to have access to grandchildren when you don't have a close relationship with their parents. You get the point. There's so many permutations of the parent-child, grandchild relationship that it's a difficult topic to address in ways that are relevant to all parents, all people who are grandparents. So I'll think for a few minutes about the varieties of grandparents, the various types that we see and understand. There are some I would describe as those who are engaged biblically. As I have a vocation to teach on shepherding the hearts of children, I often meet grandparents who are very humble, gracious, teachable people who are who are very engaged in biblical ways with their grandchildren. And they are very motivated to understand their grandchildren, to understand the culture. They come to seminars that I teach on raising children, not simply so that they can raise their grandchildren, but they come because they want to understand their role. They want to understand grandchildren. They want to have a better insight into how God's word speaks to parenting tasks. And when you talk to them, it's very clear that they are intentional, that they're thoughtful about what they're doing with their grandchildren, that they are operating with a vision for their task and they're trying to understand how they can extend their influence. And they often have a very contagious love for the word of God. It's what's on their heart and it's what they impress upon their grandchildren. And they desire for their grandchildren to know God. They want them to know Christ. They want them to know what it is to live for the glory of God. And these are folks who are often filled with an infectious joy in Christ. They make much of Jesus. They're endeavoring to make the most of every opportunity that God has given for them to influence their grandkids. and they're often very creative in impressing on their grandchildren the goodness of God and the goodness of God's ways. Those folks, when I meet them, are very refreshing and very pleasant to be with, and I'm sure there are many people in this audience tonight who are those sorts of grandparents, who are very engaged in biblical ways with their grandchildren. There's another category I think of is those who are engaged culturally And what I mean is they're engaged in the kind of stereotypical way we often think of grandparenting, at least as we often think of it in America. These are the doting, overindulgent grandparents. These are folks who are often very engaged and quite committed, but they have no vision whatsoever for being Christian grandparents. And even though they are very devoted, they're not biblical in the ways they have thought about grandparenting. And they don't understand any biblical model of what a grandparent is to be. And so they fall into the cultural stereotypes. You'll hear words like these, well, we just spoil them. We spoil them and then we send them home, let their parents deal with it. Or they say, yeah, we spoil them because we're getting even with our kids for the ways that they gave us a hard time. And they put a great deal of energy sometimes into grandparenting, into their grandchildren, and they overlook things that they would have never overlooked in their children. And they're very indulgent. In fact, they might even encourage disregard for parental authority in their grandchildren. They might say things like, well, I know you're Your father or your mother would never let you do this, but you're at my house. They would never let you watch this, but you're at my house now, and your dad's not the boss of my house. I'm the boss of my house. And so you can do this at my house. And we could ask ourselves the question, what motivates that kind of grandparenting? These are grandparents who want to have fun with their grandchildren. They want to enjoy them. They're very committed to them. but in a sentimental way. They want to be liked by their grandchildren. These are grandparents that often, if they have a comfortable retirement, they spend lavish amounts of money indulging their grandchildren. So another type of grandparent, and these are the parents I think of as grandparents who are disengaged. They are not engaged on a regular basis in the task of grandparenting. and they may be disengaged for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they're disengaged because of geography. There's such mobility around the world. We know many Christian friends who have children who live on several different continents, and there's really almost no occasion in which the entire family can all be gathered together in one place, and often these grandparents don't have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with their grandchildren. They're really too far away to have regular contact. An extreme example of this, we met a lovely Christian couple in a Hungarian village in Eastern Europe. The village was in the political boundaries of Romania, but it was a Hungarian village and all the people spoke Hungarian. And they had a son who went to go to Bible college in London. And when he was in London at Bible college, he fell in love with a young woman who was an Israeli. They were married. And after they were married, they moved to Israel. And so these folks told us through tears that their grandchildren speak Hebrew. And of course, there's little chance that these grandchildren will ever, ever learn Hungarian because it's a very difficult languages. So these grandparents have no capacity to speak to their grandchildren except through translation. So even getting on Skype or FaceTime or WhatsApp and being able to communicate is something that is barred from them because of the geography. Some Grandparents are separated by geography, but are able to use technology, and that enables face-to-face contact, and that certainly can be an important way of having influence with your grandchildren. And you can use FaceTime or Skype or WhatsApp or some other video platform to spend time. And while this is a great blessing, and it's a blessing to be able to see them, and for them to be able to see you, It's not really a replacement for living close enough to take them to a park or to a museum. And sometimes long distance grandparents are able to have a vacation with their grandchildren during the summer and perhaps bring kids to see them or go to see their grandchildren. But certainly there are ways parents can work, grandparents can work on a relationship with grandchildren even over a long distance. because you want to strive to be a presence in the lives of your grandchildren. Well, some are disengaged, not because of geography, they're disengaged because of relationship. For some grandparents, the challenge is a broken relationship with adult children. And when there's anger and hostility between adult children and their parents, grandparents are often iced out of relationships with the grandchildren. And sometimes the grandparents don't even know why their children are alienated from them. But it's very rare that grandparents will have a relationship with their grandchildren if the parents, if they have no relationship with the parents. Because if there's no relationship with the parents, then the parents will not cooperate with making the grandchildren available. We have a couple that we've been working with recently who have that kind of a broken relationship with adult children. It's a heartbreak to them, and it means that they are disengaged effectively from being grandparents. Some folks are disengaged simply because of disinterest. Many grandparents, and I don't know if this is true in Africa, perhaps it is not, you can judge that. It certainly is true in America. Many grandparents have, in embraced the cultural notion that retirement is a time to travel, a time to play, a time to enjoy yourself, and the logic of it goes like this, you know, I worked hard, I killed myself for my children, I got them all through college, and I paid my dues, this is my time. Whatever years I have left is for me. In fact, sometimes grandparents will even move away to other places like Ecuador or other countries where people can live cheaply or live beautifully, even on a modest income. And they love their grandkids and their kids, but they lack any vision for involvement in their lives. And often they're just simply living out of what happened in their own life experience. Many grandparents I know never had a close relationship with their grandchildren, so they never expected to have a close relationship with their grandchildren. I even know of parents whose parents, the grandparents of their children, never even acknowledge birthdays or send a Christmas gift. Me and these grandparents are just disengaged due to lack of interest. There also are some grandparents who are very engaged but they're not engaged in just the way of being a grandparent, they're engaged in almost as a parent. They're engaged perhaps in adoptive care and having adopted their grandchildren or sometimes in foster care of their grandchildren. And increasingly, and this is true in America and I don't know the extent to which it may be true in Zambia, But many grandparents step up and provide foster care or even adopt grandchildren. Just recently I was teaching a seminar and I met a couple who in the same month had turned 60 and also in that month adopted a three-year-old grandson who had essentially been abandoned by his parents. And so they adopted him. It wasn't part of their life plan. They didn't think it was going to work out this way. But it's what God brought them to, and so they, God brought to them, I should say, and so they stepped up in order to parent their grandson. Sadly, often there are people whose adult children are in jail, or are struggling with addictions, or who, for various reasons, are irresponsible and unable to care for their children. And so parents step up and provide that care. Technically, their grandparents, but for all practical purposes, they're functioning as parents. I guess another category that is somewhat similar would be grandparents that are involved in part-time parenting. I'm thinking of the grandparents who provide a large amount of child care for their children, either out of necessity or out of the lifestyle choices that their children have made. I've met parents, for example, in Eastern Europe whose adult children are part of the diaspora of Eastern Europeans all over the world who move to more wealthy countries in order to earn a lot of money. It's often the case with parents in China or in India or in parts of Asia where the parents will move away to a place where they can prosper and earn more money and the grandparents will be at home caring for the the parents or the children and providing child care that the children need. So these folks are fulfilling a large portion of the parenting task of children. They get them to school, they care for them after school, they provide meals, they supervise homework while the parents are busy elsewhere. So we've looked at these various categories. of grandparenting. It's one of the challenges of dealing with this topic because where you fit in those categories will impact the kind of influence you can have in the lives of your grandchildren. Some are engaged biblically, some are engaged culturally, some are disengaged because of distance or because of broken relationships or because of disinterest. And there are some who are engaged as care providers in foster care or adoption, and then there are some that are grandparents who provide a large amount of the part-time parenting for their kids. Now, probably all of you as parents fall into one of these categories, or perhaps into a combination of these categories. For example, there's some grandparents who do a lion's share of grandchild care, even though their kids are on the scene and are in and out of the lives of their children. So I want for us to take up the topic, how can I be biblically engaged as a grandparent? We want to recognize the fact that grandparents have a unique opportunity to have an influence, to make a difference in the lives of their grandchildren. For one thing, grandchildren are generally drawn to their grandparents. And grandparenting often finds us with with more time to spend with the grandchildren than we had in earlier seasons of our lives, the busier seasons of life when we were raising our children. I read a survey recently that surveyed 600 teenagers asking, who is the most important person in your life? Not surprisingly, the majority of the kids said that their parents were the most important person in their life. But number two was not, as you might expect, coaches or teachers or even pop culture figures, but the number two influence in the lives of these children was their grandparents. And grandparents may not have authority always in the lives of their grandchildren, but they have a great deal of influence, and influence is more powerful than authority. So we can ask ourselves the question, is there a job description for grandparenting? And thankfully there is. And I want to look at a few passages with you that give us a description of the task of grandparenting. The first one I want to look at with you is in Deuteronomy chapter four, and listen to these words. Hear now, O Israel, the decrees and laws I'm about to teach you. Follow them so that you may live and go in and take possession of the land the God of your fathers has given you. Do not add to what I command you, do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord that I give you. You saw with your own eyes what the Lord did at Baal Peor. The Lord your God destroyed from among you everyone who followed the Baal of Peor, but all of you who held fast to the Lord your God are still alive today. See, I have taught you the decrees and laws as the Lord my God commanded me, so that you may follow them in the land you are entering to take possession of it. Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, surely this is a great nation, What nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us when we pray to him? And what other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I'm setting before you today? So in these early verses of chapter four, Moses is reminding them of what he's taught them. And he's exhorting them to walk in the ways of God, to demonstrate an understanding of God's ways to demonstrate the wisdom and understanding that God has. And he says, live as people whose God is near to you when you pray. This is an amazing call in these early verses to continued faithfulness and fidelity to God. He reminds them, he reminds them that others are watching you as you live out your faith. And it's a call to continued faithfulness. Your children, your grandchildren are watching you as you live out your faith. And all of that sets us up for verse nine, which gives us a description of grandparenting. Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so you do not forget teach them to your children and to their children after them. So it's that task that God has given us, to be those who are remembering the things of God and teaching them to our children and to our grandchildren. God has in view here that the task we have as parents is not just simply to parent our children, but to also influence our grandchildren. teach the ways of God to grandchildren. Notice the phrases that are used here. It says, be careful to watch yourselves closely. What's being exhorted here? Notice it says, it's telling us to maintain our walk with God. Being old is not a time to rest on your laurels. your spiritual zeal. So you do not lose your fervor as a Christian. And that it's really a call to maintain your walk with God. We could think of it as a call to maintain the disciplines of the Christian life. One of the best things you will do for your grandchildren is be a godly person. Your walk with God your love for God, your delight in the word of God, your pursuit of God, in your own pursuit of spiritual discipline, your time spent in his word, in devotion, in prayer for your children, in meditation on the word of God, in listening to good sermons and hearing God's word. All these things are so valuable for your children. It's really a call at the beginning of verse nine to maintain your walk with God. Be careful to watch yourselves closely. And also he says, don't forget the things that your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. So he's saying, don't forget the wonderful things God has done. Don't forget the deliverances of God that you have experienced. Don't forget the experience of walking with God. Don't forget the days in which you have known his help and his grace and his goodness and his kindness. Don't forget what you've seen. Don't forget what you've heard. Don't let these things fade from your heart. Do you hear the call there for spiritual fervor? As grandparents, we need to keep our edge as people who walk with God and know God, because it's our fervor, it's our zeal for God, it's our joy in God that is going to be communicated to our children and to our grandchildren. So he's saying, remember the great deliverances that you have experienced from the hand of God. Remember the marvelous answers to prayer that you have seen time and again. Remember the days when you've known the nearness of God and the heat of the battle. Remember the comfort of God being with you in the presence of your enemies. Remember the ways that he's prepared a table for you. Remember the cool waters and the green pastures that he's led you into. Don't forget these things. Keep them on your heart forever. To what end? That you may teach them to your children and your grandchildren. God is laying a vision here for us. It's a beautiful vision. It's a picture of maintaining relationship and walk with God so that you can weave your life story of God's grace and kindness into your relationship with your grandchildren. While you're still in Deuteronomy, look with me at Deuteronomy chapter six, because there's this, of course, it's a marvelous passage that talks about instructing children in the ways of God, but I want you to catch the vision of verses one and two. These are the commandments, decrees, and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children, and their children after them, that's grandchildren, may fear the Lord your God as long as you live, by keeping all of his decrees and commands that I give to you, so that you may enjoy long life. So Moses is saying there are commands and decrees and laws that God has taught me and has taught to you, and you need to maintain them as you cross the Jordan, that you should enjoy long life. Love the Lord your God, he says, with all your heart and soul and strength. These commands that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Impress them on your grandchildren. Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down, when you get up. I want you to notice the three-generation vision of this passage. It's so that you and your grandchildren and their children after them, you and your children, excuse me, and your grandchildren, their children after your children, may fear the Lord your God as long as you live. The point we need to realize as parents is when we've raised our kids and we've taught them God's ways and they have left our home and they have found their niche in life and they have left father and mother and been joined to a spouse, they're starting a new family and there's a new family unit established and we want to respect the integrity of that and not usurp a place that is not ours. But even though they are gone, and we've raised them and we've finished with that aspect of the task, our job is not done. We have another generation to influence for God. You and I, we're not in the same relationship with them that we were with our children. We don't live with them every day, generally. We have less authority, but we have a great opportunity to be an influence, and you can bring God Vision for always bringing God into the relationship. Margie and I had an experience with a couple of our grandsons. We have taken the habit of taking little vacations with some of our older grandchildren because our grandchildren are now ages 13 to 23. So we've taken little vacations with some of the older ones and spent time with them. And we've gone with a couple at a time. We were going to Eastern Europe by way of London and we had some frequent flyer miles and some free lodging offered to us in London and so we took a couple of grandsons with us to spend a few days in London with us and then we sent them on back home and we went on to Eastern Europe for ministry. But we had this very interesting experience. We got to the airport and we were all quite excited to be there and we were getting ready to climb into the tram that would take us to the car rental desk that was off the airport campus, and we had all of our stuff loaded onto a cart, a luggage cart, and I wanted to get a picture. I set my case down. I took a picture of the boys with Margie, and along came the tram, and we unloaded the cart and put all of our stuff in the tram and we're very excited to go on to the rental desk and to get the car and rent the car and head out on our journey. Well, we got to the rental desk. It took longer than we thought it should have and there were so many customers. Eventually we got to the desk and we got our car assigned to us and we went to the car park and found the car, loaded all of our luggage into the back of the car and Then I said to Margie, give me the itinerary so that I can put into the GPS of the car the address for our lodging. And she said, well, where is it? I said, well, it's in my briefcase. Oh, my briefcase. It dawned on me at that moment. I left the briefcase on the pavement at the airport. And sure enough, when I opened the back of the car, it had not packed it in and it was not there. So we immediately prayed. We got the boys together and said, we're gonna pray. We're gonna pray that God will be pleased to help us find the briefcase. It has all of our tickets for all the venues that we have planned to visit. It has my notes and my computer in it and the preparation for our ministry in it. we really need to get this briefcase again. So we prayed. And as we prayed, Margie prayed like this. She said, Lord, you know where this briefcase is. And so we pray that you would help us to find it. And she prayed in those very encouraging ways. And when we finished praying, one of my grandsons said, you know, Grandma, I believe it's true that God knows where the briefcase is. Unfortunately, he won't tell us. I left them there at the rental desk and I got on the tram, went back to the airport. And as soon as I got off, I saw a policeman there and I said, I think I left a case. He said, oh yeah, someone found it. And he directed me to the lost properties desk. And eventually after wandering around Heathrow for a half hour or so, I got to the proper desk and there was my case. Everything was in it. God had protected it. Some honest person picked it up and took it in, and I arrived back sometime later after getting the tram again to the airport rental desk, and we had a time of rejoicing and thankfulness before God, because we had prayed that God would help us to find the case, and God had helped us to find it. It was a great cause for rejoicing, but it's an opportunity for us as grandparents to bring God into the relationship, and even into some of the pathos of relationship that we were having at that moment with our teenage grandsons. You know, that same three-generation vision is in Psalm 78, and the psalmist says, my people, hear my teaching, listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth with a parable, I will utter things and known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants. We will tell them to the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power and the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach to their children so that the next generation would know them. Even the children yet to be born And they in turn would tell their children. And then they would put their trust in God and not forget his deeds, but keep his commands. Would not be like our ancestors, a stubborn and rebellious generation whose hearts were not loyal to God and whose spirits were not faithful to him. Notice the language of this passage. I'm opening my mouth and speaking of things that I have known and heard. Speaking about truth that has been passed on from generation to generation. And I don't want those truths to be hidden from the next generation. And there's something very powerful about telling stories to your grandchildren. Telling stories of God's work and what God has done for you, what you have experienced of knowing God. Because grandchildren love stories. They love to hear about how it was when you were young. and they love to have you share your testimony, your remarkable deliverances that you have experienced. And I would encourage you, make a list. Make a list of those extraordinary providences that you have experienced in your Christian walk. Marvelous answers to prayer, wonderful times of deliverance, times in which you have known the nearness of God and joy in God, places where you have been, people you have heard who have taught God's word to you and draw them into it. See, grandchildren love stories. You don't have to be preachy. You just talk to them about things that have happened in your life, the ways in which you have seen God work. And notice the vision of this passage. We teach God's ways to our children, the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power and his wonders, so that the next generation, our grandchildren, will know them. And they will be teaching them to their children, and children yet unborn will know of these things, and will turn and put their hope in God. Do you see the picture of this passage? It's a picture of one generation following the previous generation in the ways of God, and the heritage of knowledge of God, walking with God, knowing God, seeing God, growing in grace, understanding God's ways, being passed from generation to generation. It's a rich, beautiful picture. It's such an important vision for us to get a hold of, this vision of one generation following the next in God's ways. So we want to teach these things to our children. so that they teach them to their children, our grandchildren, and their children, our great-grandchildren, will teach them to children that are yet unborn. One more passage that talks about grandparenting. In 2 Timothy 1.5, Paul writes to Timothy, his son in the faith, and he says, I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois. And in your mother Eunice, and now I'm persuaded, lives in you also. We don't know a lot about Timothy. Much of the speculation is that Timothy's father was not a believer. But his mother and his grandmother were believers. And Timothy had been influenced by his mother and his grandmother to be a man of faith. And we want to be providing that kind of influence for our children. to be people who pass on to our grandchildren the sincere faith that we have known and experienced. So let me give you some goals for grandparenting. What do you want to accomplish as a grandparent? What are some things that you can do as a grandparent? And I have several of these to talk to you about. The first is, pass along a spiritual heritage. I've already mentioned this, but let me just expand on it more. Share your faith with your grandchildren. See yourself as a disciple maker. And one of the ways to be a disciple maker is to share your testimony of grace with the person you're endeavoring to disciple. So look for every possible way to weave the knowledge of God into your relationship. So that no matter what you're doing, God is part of the story because that's where you live. You live a life in which God is the center of everything. He's the blazing sun at the center of the solar system of your life. All of life orbits around him. And so you want to draw your grandchildren into that. So if you go to the park with them, you're talking about the beauty of the trees that God has made. Or if you go to the zoo, You're talking about the incredible wisdom and endless creativity of God, who's made so many animals of so many varieties and shapes and sizes and with so many different abilities. If you take a hike, you're commenting on the beautiful woods and the beautiful world that God has made. I have the privilege of Being a pilot, and I have the opportunity, because of a club I belong to, flying an airplane with my grandchildren, and whenever I get in the airplane with my grandchildren, it's always an opportunity to talk about the incredible creativity of people who are made in the image of God. That God has given mankind such wisdom, because we possess creativity that is A mirror is a reflection in finite of the creativity that is infinitely his. We possess insight and wisdom and understanding that is a finite version of the infinite wisdom and understanding insight of God. And God has created people with such cleverness, such ingenuity, such creativity as people made in God's image that they've been able to figure out how to create a vehicle that can get from the ground into the air and back to the ground again safely. What an amazing God. And so that opportunity to take a plane ride is not just an opportunity to ride an airplane, it's an opportunity to be amazed at the endless creativity of God and the things that people who are made in God's image are able to do. And that's what we want to be bringing to our children all the time. We want to be weaving into every day conversation, the knowledge of God, our delight in God, our joy in God, because we're passing a spiritual heritage on to our grandchildren. Let me encourage you, read the Bible and pray with your grandchildren. When we celebrate birthdays together, we have, because all of our children live within five miles of us, we spend a Sunday afternoon together once a month. And once a month, we celebrate the birthdays that take place in that month. And when we celebrate the birthdays, I always read a psalm that I've chosen for that afternoon. And I'll read a psalm and talk about my thankfulness to God for the grandchild or grandchildren whose birthdays we are celebrating that month. I had the opportunity to do this just a week or so ago as we were celebrating two birthdays. We looked at Psalm 90 and talked about life and about the meaning of life. And about the wonderful prayer at the end of that psalm, Lord, teach us to number our days that we might acquire a heart of wisdom. We talked about the picture of suffering under, in a hard world as described in that psalm, and how that man is like the grass that withers and grows and blows away and its place is forgotten no more. So it's a wonderful opportunity Celebrating their birthday is an opportunity to talk about God, to talk about the transitory nature of life, to talk about the wonder of knowing God, to think about Psalm 103 that says, we're like the grass that withers and grows, but from everlasting to everlasting, the Lord's love is on those who fear him and who keep his commandments. What wonderful stuff to talk to children about. Margie makes it her habit every Lord's Day morning, sends a text message to all of our young adult grandchildren who have phones. She sends them a text message, passage of scripture, some brief comments on the passage. And it's a reminder every single Sunday of God's truth and a reminder also that grandma is thinking of them and praying for them. And they often respond with thanksgiving or expression of appreciation. Sometimes it's only a thumbs up emoji Our older grandchildren would be home for a break from college and they were ready to return to their studies. We would always make it a point to take them to lunch before they returned to their studies or have them into our home for a lunch meal. So we would talk about the next semester with them, what courses they would be taking, and we would bring the conversation around to how can we pray for them. and ask them how they're doing spiritually, and where they're worshiping, and what they're doing during their devotional times, and asking them to tell us how we can pray for them, and praying for them, praying for them in their presence. You know, there's something very beneficial about praying in our children's presence. Remember Jesus, Lazarus' tomb. He says, Father, I know you know these things, but I'm praying for those who are present so they also might believe. We want to pray in a way that is designed to engender faith in our grandchildren. So we want to see ourselves as disciple makers who are teaching the ways of God to our grandchildren, who are bringing God to them all the time. With little children, you can do it in different ways. We used to have a game we would play in the car. We'd ride along with our grandchildren. We're real small. We would ride with him in the car and I would pretend to, we would take turns pretending to be a Bible figure and just describing ourselves and seeing who could guess first. And the person who could guess first could describe the next Bible character. So we might say something like, I was the shepherd boy and I've picked five smooth stones and I slew a giant, you know, who am I? We were playing that game one day in the car and a young grandson who was just two and hadn't quite caught the game, I said, okay, who am I? And he said, grandpa. Well, he hadn't caught on to the game, but it was a way to bring God and the knowledge of scripture into our conversation together. We also want to be people who extol God. Being a grandparent means always talking about the greatness and glory of God, the wonder of who, God is. I mean, I think of, and you might think of with me of Psalm 145. It's such a marvelous description because it gives us categories in which we can talk to our grandchildren. But the psalmist begins, I will extol you my God the King. I will praise your name forever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise. His greatness no one can fathom. One generation will commend your works to another. And there's that picture of commending God's works to the next generation. And that's what we do as grandparents. We bring God to our grandchildren. You might think, well, what do I talk about if I'm going to talk about the wonders of God? This Psalm, Psalm 145, gives you category after category. It says they will Tell of your mighty acts. Think of all the things you could put under the heading of mighty acts of God. Acts of providence, acts of care, acts of protection, acts of redemption. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty. There's another whole category. The regal glory, the splendor, the majestic, kingly nature of God. They will proclaim your great deeds. They will celebrate your abundant goodness. Think of all the things you can talk to your grandchildren about under the category of ways that God is good. They will joyfully sing of your righteousness. There's this rectitude to the character of God. No fault in Him. God is gracious and compassionate. You have these attributes of God. Slow to anger, rich in love. What a wonderful thing to talk to grandchildren It's only because of the forbearance of God that any of us survive on this planet long enough to be saved. Because if he would bring to us instantly what we deserve, we would not be here. The Lord is good to all. They were told, the glory of your kingdom. Boy, there's a whole category. This glorious kingdom, this kingdom that will never end. On this earth, kingdoms rise and fall. But this is a kingdom that is an everlasting kingdom. Your dominion endures throughout all generations. The Lord is faithful to all of his promises. What a category to talk to kids about, the faithfulness of God. He's loving toward all he has made. He upholds those who fall. Amazing quality in God. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is watches over all who love him. He fulfills the desires of all who fear them. He hears their cry and saves them. You see, there's category after category to describe and extol the greatness and wonder of who God is. And we want to be people who are so full of God, we're like sponges. And when our grandchildren bump up against us, they get some on them. Richard Edwards is described by his grandson, Jonathan Edwards. Richard Edwards was also a minister of the gospel. He's described as a man who in the presence of God appeared not only to believe, but to delight. Isn't that marvelous? Delighting in God is more powerful than hundreds of words, but bringing the delights of God and sharing your delight in God with your grandchildren is so important. I've already touched on this next one. Share your stories of grace. Every Christian has his remarkable stories of answers to prayer, of incredible providences, times when you have known God drawn near, amazing conversion stories. Your grandchildren will be delighted to hear them. We want to share our stories of the grace of God with our grandchildren. We want to help them to see that there's a heritage here. There's a heritage of knowing God and walking with God. Pray for them. Let them know that you pray for them and put your prayers for them into those stories of God's grace in your life. You know why this happened? Grandpa was praying for you. God answered my prayer. You didn't know I was praying for you, did you? When my father-in-law died and we were commenting on his life around his grave, he was a godly man. He was a man of prayer. He would get up every morning at four o'clock in the morning and spend the first two or three hours of his day in prayer on his hands and knees in the living room of their house, praying to God. And one of my sons commented at his graveside that one of the things that kept him in those years of doubt and struggle as a young person was knowing Grandpa's life of prayer. and knowing Grandpa had prayed for him. So you want to share those stories of grace with your grandchildren. You also have the opportunity to be an example. You know, much of what we learn, we learn by imitation. Children learn by imitation. They learn how to conduct themselves, how to act, how to speak, how to carry themselves, how to walk, how to talk. They learn by imitation. we have the opportunity to be an example that our grandchildren can emulate. And so the way that you engage people, the way you talk to others is instructing your grandchildren. The graciousness of the ways that you respond when you're disappointed in somebody, that your kindness, Love, your forbearance, all are examples to be imitated. The ways that you engage in friendship with others and the ways that you prize friendship and fulfill the obligations and callings of friendship. Your generosity of heart toward others. Your willingness to share of your substance and of yourself because you care for others and love others. Your love for God, your truthfulness, your concern with integrity, your kindness and graciousness to others. All those things are examples. And one of the ways that we can engage with our grandchildren is to be examples to them that they can imitate. I've already mentioned this, and some of this bleeds over, but praying for them and praying with them is so important. Know their needs. Know what's happening with them. Track along with their lives. Know their schedule. Know what's going on. I have a grandson who's going to be playing American football this fall, and I've been asking him about the practice. talking to him about the first game, which will be September 4th. So when September 4th rolls around, I'll be able to inquire about that game if I'm not able to attend the game. But we want to pray with them and know their needs. I was in Brazil earlier in the year, involved in ministry before the COVID-19 virus struck. But one of my grandsons was playing basketball, was able to text him, keeping along with the basketball season. How did the game go? How did the team play? How much playing time did you get? How many points did you score? It's a way of tracking with them and understanding their lives, but also being drawn into praying for them and praying with them, letting them know you and you knowing them and knowing their needs and praying for them. You want to cultivate relationships. We certainly have to cultivate relationships with our children because we want to be a positive support to our children in every way that we possibly can. That's a way of ministering to our grandchildren. So for example, one of my sons has five children and it's very expensive to have them in a Christian school in America. And one of the ways we could help them as a retired couple was to help pay the tuition, part of the tuition for the Christian school, providing childcare when you're able to provide childcare, knowing if they need your help and be willing to offer help. Those are ways of cultivating relationship with your children. You want to support your children's goals with their children and strive for unity with your kids. That means you have to have a relationship of humility. where you recognize they are the authorities in the lives of my grandchildren. I'm not the authority in the life of my grandchildren. Their parents are the authority. And I want to be supportive of their authority. That means I need to be humble. I need to understand their goals and honor their wishes, not work against them. We were babysitting our grandsons because one of the grandsons was taking piano lessons Rather than having four grandchildren sitting in the piano studio, they would drop the kids off with us, the ones who were not taking lessons. part of babysitting with them and enjoyed spending time with them. One of the things I was doing with them sometimes was watching YouTube videos on an iPad. And just funny videos of children falling over on bicycles and things that boys think are funny and laugh at. And we were watching these videos. My son came to me and said, I don't want you watching videos with the kids. I said, I don't like them having that much screen time. Go out and fill the ball with them, do something else. But don't, please don't watch videos with them. I don't want them having screen time. Now, his sensibilities at this point were different than mine. But he's the dad, I'm not the dad. And so I respected his sensibilities. And when the boys would wanna watch YouTube videos, I'd say, ah, let's go out and fill the ball, that'll be more fun. I would never say to them, well, we can't, your dad won't let us. Because that would be undercutting him. I want to be supportive of him and his wishes and never work against them and find a niche where I'm able to help them. Now, for some of you, this may require disarming their anger because if you have children who are angry with you or distant with you, you're going to have to humble yourself and be willing to hear their complaints in order to cultivate the kind of relationship that gives you access to your grandchildren. With your grandchildren, you always want to support and encourage your children's authority in their lives. But plan opportunities to spend time with your grandchildren. Don't wait for it to happen. Set times. Look for opportunities to take them to the park, to enjoy a game with them, to spend time with them. Be supportive of the things they're involved in. If they're involved in in piano lessons, then go to the recitals and applaud heartily when they play their music, or attend the games that they're playing in a sports team. But you want to be supportive of your grandchildren. You also want to be an encouragement to them, talking to them, interacting with them, discussing with them the things that they're involved in. And we certainly can take advantage of the media that's available. I think, boy, messenger, SMS messages, these things are such a neat way to keep in touch with your grandchildren. Let them know that you're in their thoughts or they're in your thoughts all the time. Now, what is your hope in all of this? God has given you a special role. You're a grandfather, you're a grandmother, and in God's providence, you have an opportunity that is a unique opportunity to influence your grandchildren. And the truths you hold out for them are powerful and effective. I was thinking of Isaiah 55, such wonderful words of exhortations for our grandchildren. Remember how that passage begins. Come to the waters, all you who are thirsty. Come buy, you who have no money, come buy and eat. Come buy wine and milk without money, without cost. Why spend money on what's not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest words of encouragement to share with our grandchildren. Wonderful words of exhortation. You're hungry, you're thirsty, come by and eat. Listen to me. Your soul will delight in the richest of fare. There's also wonderful evangelistic encouragement in verses six and seven. Seek the Lord while he may be found. Call on him. while he is near, let the wicked forsake his way, and the evil man his thoughts, and let him turn unto the Lord, for he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. And then the wonderful metaphor for the word of God, for the usefulness of the word of God in the lives of our children and grandchildren, in verses 10 and following. As the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return without watering the earth, and making it flourish and bud so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater. So as my word that goes out of my mouth, it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song before you and all the trees of the field will clap their hands Instead of the thorn bush, we'll grow the pine tree. Instead of the briars, the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign that will never be destroyed. Just like the rain comes down from heaven and accomplishes God's purpose and makes the earth fertile and verdant and makes plants grow and produce seed, the Word of God is like that in the lives of your grandchildren. it will accomplish God's purposes. May God give us grace to be grandparents who are engaged in the lives of our grandchildren, showing them the goodness of God's ways. Let me pray with you. Father, how we thank you for your word, for your truth, for the wonderful ways in which you encourage us as grandparents with the calling that God has given us to teach these things to the next generation. Help us, Lord, to be faithful in this, and we pray that you would work in our grandchildren's lives so that they would teach these things to their children, to children yet unborn who would rise up and who would hope in God. We ask this for Christ's glory.