Last week, our family had the privilege of hosting the Caleb's Kin group. That's our senior citizens. We have an annual picnic at our house. It's a delightful group of people. And I was thinking as we were getting set up for that, we've been doing it now for decades. Honestly, it's a bit bittersweet when you do it for that many years because every time it rolls around, you think about the people who aren't going to be attending this year. And on the one hand, we're certainly, as we just said, we're rejoicing that they're now in heaven. But you certainly miss them here on earth. But it was a great time. It was a great time with those who were there. I had to pull our motorcycle sidecar out of the garage in order to make room for just some of the seating that was in there. And so, you can imagine, there was plenty of conversation about that and plenty of advice that was being given about being careful and all that sort of thing. After everybody had left we were just kind of tearing down and cleaning up one of our senior citizens came back Her name is Carol Clements. She had forgotten her covered dish So she came back to get it and I remembered that her husband Howard when he was alive rode motorcycles If you knew Howard Clements, he was a fascinating guy. He lived life and to the fullest for sure. He died about a year ago. So just on the spur of the moment, I said to Carol, hey Carol, you want to go for a ride in the sidecar? And without hesitating, she said, yeah. So she was actually still in her car. And she backed that thing off of our driveway. And she did it so quick, I thought, she's going to run into another car. But she jumped out of her car and jumped in the sidecar. And off we went down the road. And we just took a short drive. But one of the things I like about that sidecar is you're sitting right next to each other, so you can hear one another talk over the sound of the engine. We had a wonderful talk about her hubby. He was just a fun guy for sure. Carol was telling me about what it was like to go on motorcycle trips with him. She even told me, you know, Howard at one time offered to buy me my own motorcycle. And she said, I told him, no honey, I like riding behind you so I can hold on to you. And I thought, what a great, great story for sure. After I got Carol back, I came back in the house and there were some people still cleaning up and doing some dishes and that kind of stuff, which explains why I had gone on a motorcycle ride. So anyway, I explained to everybody that Carol had just gone on a motorcycle sidecar ride with me and everybody was laughing. And one of the people who was there in our kitchen was this young lady right there. Her name is McKinley. So my professional assistant is named Carrie. McKinley is Carrie's niece. She's 12 years old. And so some time ago, McKinley started volunteering to help at all of our dinners. And she's an incredible help. And I've told McKinley, 12 years old or not, any event we have at our house, you are always welcome because you always make it better. So McKinley was sitting in there, or standing in there, along with a number of other people cleaning up. And so I told them about Carol going on the sidecar ride and told everybody how much she liked it. And then without thinking, in front of everybody, I said, hey, McKinley, you want to go for a ride? Now, what she did next I thought was absolutely fascinating. And it's really the point of all of this. The words that came out of her mouth next are, well, I better text my mom and ask if it's OK with her. And then she said, you know, sometimes mom doesn't text right away. And as soon as she said that, I thought, boy, it's probably not very smart of me to ask her in front of everybody without her parents being there if she wanted to go on a motorcycle ride. So we just decided, well, if that's the case, you're going to be back for an intro to faith dinner fairly soon. Why don't you just ask your mom when it's convenient? And if she says it's OK, then we'll take you for a ride next time you're here. But here's the point of all this. Right there, that's the beauty of obedience. That's what that is, of a young person obeying her parents. So even when mom and dad weren't around, and even though she had the opportunity to do something she really wanted to do, she wasn't going to do it until she was absolutely certain that it was okay with her parents. And friend, at that moment, who was McKinley being like? She was being like our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Now with that in mind, I want to invite you to open your Bible this morning to Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter 6, that's on page 1173 of the Bible under the chair in front of you if you'd like to use that this morning. So Ephesians chapter 6 or page 1173 of the Bible under the chair in front of you. Our church's theme this year is building on our heritage, and we've been having a great time celebrating our 60th anniversary and learning as many lessons as we possibly can. I hope you were able to be with us last Sunday night when we had a joint worship service with our brothers and sisters at Kossuth Street Baptist Church. And we did that because Kossuth is our mother church. They are the ones who started us 60 years ago. So we wanted sometime this year to have a joint service. where we just praised God for keeping his promise to build his church, and we also commended our brothers and sisters at Cassis Street for their sacrificial faith 60 years ago to start us. I had the best seat in the house, or less the best place in the house, because I was able to stand and look at both congregations worshiping and praising the Lord in that public setting. It was absolutely delightful, and it was really a reminder of this verse from the Psalms, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity. You know, there's so many things to argue about, so many things to fuss over. And so when you see two church families after 60 years coming together for that, And like that, and of course it allowed us to praise our Savior who makes that kind of unity possible. This is the pastor at Kossuth, relatively new, John Kiesling. But we were able to lead everyone there in the Lord's table together. So I did the bread and Pastor Kiesling did the cup. But it was just wonderful. to be able to have that as part of our 60th anniversary. I'll never forget that one for sure. Well, part of our celebration this year is studying through the book of Ephesians, verse by verse. We've been enjoying that as well. And so the last several weeks, we've been in the end of chapter 5 and the beginning of chapter 6, which is all about the Christian family. And so we've titled this subsection of the book of Ephesians, Strengthening Unity in Our Relationships. And I think that little title might need a bit of explanation. What's strengthening unity in the family or in our relationships? Where did that come from? Well, here's where. We've said now a number of times, the book of Ephesians, it just falls very naturally into two categories. Ephesians 1 to 3, and Ephesians 4 to 6, and Ephesians 1 to 3 is all about who we are in Christ. Are the gospel indicatives or our identity in Christ so important to have that nailed down? Well, then chapters 4 to 6 talks about the commands, the gospel imperatives, the outworking of that identity. And right at that transition point, between chapter 3 and chapter 4, we read about unity. Here's what Paul said. Therefore, I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you've been called with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love. Here it is. Being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. That issue comes up later in chapter 4 when Paul talks about how he gave some as apostles and some as prophets, some as evangelists, some as pastors and teachers for the equipping of the saints for the work of service. And then verse 13 says, until we all attain, here it is again, to the unity of the faith. And the point that I'm making is, much of what follows in the rest of the book of Ephesians, well, if obeyed, it can result in greater unity in all kinds of relationships. Unity between husbands and wives, and now, for our purposes today, unity between parents and children. So the verses we have before us this morning, or about unified families where children obey their parents. Let's read what Ephesians 6, 1 to 3 says about that. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Well, like many places in the Word of God, that's all pretty straightforward, right? You know, sometimes people say to me, well, the Bible is so hard to understand. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I understand there are a few places in the Bible that are difficult. But the vast majority of the Word of God is very straightforward. The issue isn't understanding it. The issue is what? It's getting down to doing it, right? And there's no question about what we've got right here before. So let's look for two commands for children. Well, first of all, children obey. your parents and the Lord." Well, I think we know what that means. One commentator said it like this, this literally means to hear under. That's what the word means. That is to listen with attentiveness and to respond positively to what is heard. Paul made a similar point when he was talking to the Colossians when he said, children be obedient to your parents. How often? In all things. For this is well-pleasing to the Lord." Now, we believe around here in interpreting Scripture with Scripture. That's the unity principle. So whatever we're about to make Ephesians 6, 1-3 say, it's got to be able to bear the weight of the rest of the Bible. So somewhere along the line here on a discussion about children obeying their parents, we have to mention, we're certainly not talking about commands or expectations that would be sinful. How do we know that? Well, you make me remember this delightful passage in the book of Acts, not long after the church of Jesus Christ had been founded. We read in Acts 5.14, and all the more believers in the Lord, multitudes of men and women were constantly added to the number. That's what was happening in the early church to such an extent, listen to this, they even carried the sick out into the streets, laid them on cots and pallets so that when Peter came by, at least his shadow might fall on any of them. Also, the people from the cities in the vicinity of Jerusalem were coming together, bringing people who were sick or afflicted with unclean spirits. They were all being healed. Can you imagine that? They're all being healed. What a great time in the history of the church. Well, the Jewish leaders didn't like that. They didn't like that one bit. And so the next verses tell us, well, the high priest rose up along with all his associates, that is the sect of the Sadducees. They're filled with jealousy. That happens sometimes, you know, filled with jealousy. So what'd they do? The Jewish leaders laid their hands on the apostles and they put them in the public jail. It shows how illogical unbelief can be, right? As if when God is allowing people to do these kinds of miracles, do you really think something like a little prison door is going to stop them? Come on. Sure enough, the angel of the Lord comes and releases them from prison, and he tells the apostles, get themselves over to the temple and preach the gospel. That's what he told him. So the next morning, the Jewish leaders, they assembled a meeting and they sent orders, hey, go get Peter and the apostles out of the jailhouse and bring them over here. We want to give them a hard time. Well, the guy comes back. You have to picture this. The guy comes back and he says, well, We didn't find him in the prison. And they returned and reported, they said, we found the prison house locked quite securely. The guards were standing at the doors. But when we opened it up, we found no one inside. There wasn't an apostle in sight. And then another guy comes in and he says, hey, those guys you put in prison, guess where they are? They're preaching the gospel in the temple. Why? Because they're obeying God. We're doing what God says. So then they said, well, go get them. Go get them. We're going to talk to them. So when the Jewish leaders brought them, the apostles in, they stood before the council. The high priest questioned them, saying, we gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, yet you filled Jerusalem with your teaching. You intend to bring this man's blood upon us. Well, what do you think Peter's going to say about that? Normally, you obey the authorities in your life, right? Not always. Here's what we read. Peter and the apostles answered, we must obey God rather than men. Now, that's important for a couple of reasons. One is it demonstrates that God has not given any individual alternate authority. in any situation, meaning they cannot make somebody else live in a way that is sinful and expect obedience. That's true in any area of life, and it's certainly true in the home. Secondly, we interpret Scripture, as I said a moment ago, in light of Scripture. So whatever I'm about to say regarding the matter of a child obeying their parents in the home, that has to be able to bear the weight of the rest of the Bible. Very important. Now let's get back to the main point. Main point. If there's going to be unity in the family, and we want that, don't we? Anybody here say, what I'd like is some good disunity in my home. No, if you want to have unity in the family, in the home, children have to learn to obey their parents. I like the way John MacArthur said this, a person who grows up with a sense of respect for and obedience to his parents will have the foundation for respecting the authority of other leaders and the rights of other people in general. That's a really important sentence. I fully believe that. A person who grows up with a sense of respect for and obedience to his parents will have the foundation for respecting the authority of other leaders and the rights of other people in general. Respect for parents is of such grave importance to God that Moses commanded, he who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. That'd teach a lesson. And he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death MacArthur says either to physically or verbally abuse a parent was a capital offense in ancient Israel. That, by the way, is why, parents, one of the first lessons you need to teach your kids is attentiveness. Because kids are not born with that out of the womb. They're not born with the desire to listen, and they're certainly not born with the desire to obey. And there's nothing wrong, and I'm not talking about being physically abusive in any way, shape, or form, but to get that child's little face and say, you need to listen to your mom. You need to listen to your dad. Attentiveness is going to be expected in this home. And I want to just ask this morning, every child and young person still living under your parents' roof, And if you say, how do I know whether this still applies to me or not? The answer is if your mom and dad are paying for your roof. And if your mom and dad are paying for the food that you're going to be putting in your mug in just a few moments from now, this applies to you. And I want to ask you straight up, how are you doing at the matter of obedience? So if your parents ask you to do something, do they know that you will listen to them? And then do they know that you'll do what you've been asked. In fact, on a scale of 1 to 10, 0 being low and 10 being high, young people, how would you rank yourself on the issue of obedience? And parents, I would just say to you, are you making it clear to your children that obedience is expected? And you might say, well, they put up a fight. Well, of course they do. That's why they need you. If kids didn't need parents, God would have had them born out in the woods. I do understand kids don't want to obey. I do understand kids want to wiggle around. They don't want to listen. I get all of that. That's why God puts you in their life, to help train them in a way that would result in obedience. And I do get, listen, I've been in leadership a long time. I know a little something about people not wanting to obey. I know a little something about that. But it's beautiful. It's beautiful when it happens. It really is. You know, there's a great example of this in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah. It was a sad time in the history of Israel because God's people were not obeying him. Can you imagine that? And so here's what God told Jeremiah in Jeremiah 35. He said, go get the Rechabites. the Rechabites, the descendants of a man named Rechab. And he said, here's what I want you to do. Get them all together and set wine before them and tell them to drink it. That's kind of odd. Let's look in on that. Here we go. Then I took, and by the way, if you're expecting a baby, And you would say, we just cannot figure out a name for our child. This verse will help you right here. Then I took Jazaniah, the son of Jeremiah, the son of Habazaniah, and his brothers, and all his sons, and the whole house of the Rechabites, and I brought them into the house of the Lord, into the chamber of the sons of Hanan, the sons of Igdaliah. You've got a whole family worth of names right here. The man of God, which was near the chamber of officials, which was above the chamber of Messiah, the son of Shalom the Dorky." He's got seven names right there, something like that. "'Then I sat before the men of the house of the Rechabites, pitchers full of wine and cups, and I said to them, drink wine.'" And by the way, this wasn't a drunkenness issue. Everybody drank wine because they didn't have clean water. You needed some wine. Well, then they said, we're not drinking it. We're not drinking the wine. Where was that? Here's what happened. They said, we're not going to drink that wine, for Jonadab, the son of Rechab, our father, commanded us, saying, you shall not drink wine. You are your sons forever. You shall not build a house, or you shall not sow seed, and you shall not plant a vineyard or own one. But in tents you shall dwell all your days, that you may live many days in the land where you sojourn. Then they said, we've obeyed. Hear that? We have, we've obeyed the voice of Jonadab, the son of Rech, of our father, in all that he commanded us not to drink wine all our days. We, our wives, our sons, our daughters, not to build ourselves houses to dwell in, and we do not have a vineyard or a field or seed. We've only dwelt in tents and we've obeyed. You hear that? We've obeyed. And we've done according to all that Jonadab, our father, commanded us. That's the beauty of obedience right there. And that wasn't the end of that story. Here's what happened next. Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah saying, thus says the Lord of the hosts, the God of Israel, go and say to the men of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, will you not receive instruction by listening to my words, declares the Lord. The words of Jonadab, the son of Rakob, which he commanded his sons not to drink, those were observed. So they don't drink wine to this day, for they've obeyed their father's command. But God says, I've spoken to you again and again, yet you have not listened to me. I'm going to tell you right now, if you're on the end of that sentence, you're in bad shape. And I hope, I hope you got enough fear of God in you to say, I don't ever want God to ever have any reason to say that to me. And then he went on, and if you say, I don't like you saying that, well, great, because I got another sentence for you. Also, I've sent to you all my servants, that'd be me, in this case, the prophets, sending them again and again, saying, turn now every man from his evil way and amend your deeds and don't go after other gods to worship them. Then you'll dwell in the land which I have given to you and to your forefathers. You haven't inclined your ear. You know, that's the way some people treat God. That's the way some people treat His Word. You haven't inclined your ear or you haven't listened to me. See, the principle is a child's obedience to parents. Aren't you glad for the Rechabites? They can be used as an example for a larger group of people who weren't listening to God. A child's obedience to parents can teach a very important lesson about a person's obedience to God Now you might say, this is hard. And it is. It absolutely is. That's the power of this phrase, in the Lord. See, children obey your parents in the Lord. That makes all the difference in the world. Why? Because strength for obedience comes from the Lord. You know, if you've been with us during this entire study, you know Paul's spoken a fair amount about strength. But in a general way. in a general way. So all the way back in chapter 1, he said, I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you'll know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might. So he talked about it in a very general way, the strength of God. Well, now we see a very specific way that that strength can be used. to help a child obey parents even when it's hard. This also is very important. This gets at the very core issue of using the challenge of disobedience as a roadway to discuss the gospel. So it's not simply a matter of, son, daughter, you need to obey me. If that's all we've got, that's behaviorism. And it's not going to work. There's no strength in it. It ought to be something like this. Let's talk about the way the struggle to obey reveals the sinfulness of all of our hearts. You got that? So it's not just you disobey. No, we all do. Could I get a mm-hmm on that? We just sang about the holiness of God. Would anybody say, boy, we should have had a verse about the holiness of me? So we all do. So back to this. Son, daughter, let's talk about what the struggle to obey reveals about the nature of our sinful hearts and about how Jesus Christ died and was buried and rose again in our place, so we could establish a personal relationship with the Holy God, who would then give us the strength to be over time what He wants us to be. See, that was the point in Zechariah 4.6. It's not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit. That's where, it's not my might, it's not my power, it's the Spirit's might and the Spirit's power. So we're talking about the importance of a child trusting Christ so they are truly in the Lord. MacArthur said it this way, parents who are much older and more experienced can't fulfill their responsibilities without being saved and being filled with the Holy Spirit. which is what the previous verses in Ephesians were all about, how much less can children be expected to fulfill their responsibilities without those spiritual requirements. The children Paul addresses in Ephesians 6.1 are just as much commanded to be filled with the Spirit and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ as are the husbands and the wives of 5, 22 to 33, and the parents of 6.4. Now that's why parents and grandparents are praying that their children will come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. That's why we're constantly talking to our kids about the gospel. That's also why wise parents have their children involved in all sorts of church ministries where they can have their teaching about the gospel reinforced. What are children's workers doing right now? They're talking to our kids about the gospel. What are teachers doing on Wednesday night, kids of faith? They're talking to kids about the gospel. What are our Hartford Hub workers doing right down the road here, day after day after day down there at the Hartford Hub, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. We're hoping and we're longing for the day that comes when our children will place their faith and trust in Christ. And I realize you might say, well, that's hard work. It is hard work. But God can help us do hard things. And here's the thing about that one. It's amazing. You can say, I told him that last month about trusting Christ, and I told him that last week about trusting Christ, and I told him today about trusting Christ, and today was the day they listened. How do you explain that? That's the way parenting works, isn't it? You never know when a person's heart is going to be receptive to the gospel. And that's why we just cast seed and cast seed and cast seed and cast seed, hoping and praying for the day that our children will be in the Lord. And so strength for obedience comes from the Lord. And not just that, but motivation for obedience comes from the Lord. Why is that? What's the motivation? Well, the answer is as soon as a child or any of us place our trust in Jesus Christ, what's God's goal for us? The answer is to become more and more like His Son. We learned this earlier in the book, until we all attain to the unity of the faith, to the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. And when a child or when an adult understands, that's my motivation, that's my goal, that's God's goal for us. Well, what do we know about the obedience of Jesus Christ? What did He pray in the garden? Father, if you're willing, remove this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours be done. One of the tenderest moments in all the Bible right there. And it's about a son choosing to be obedient to his father. And that is so true that we have this fascinating statement in the book of Hebrews. Although he was a son, he learned obedience. from the things which he suffered." Now, how in the world could an omniscient, all-knowing Savior have learned anything? Well, we have to assume that the writer of Hebrews was talking about learning something experientially, but here's the larger point. To put this all together, if a child wants to be like Jesus Christ, if that's their motivation, then they're working at being obedient to their parents, and they're also learning to cry out to God for help when there's a struggle. Some of you know that God has given our family three children, two by adoption. And one of them is our son, Andrew. Andrew's 31 years old. Andrew is blind, and Andrew had a number of abnormalities in the development in his birth mother. And so, though he's 31 years old, he functions like he's about eight. But that's not the most important thing that I could tell you about my son, Andrew. The most important thing that I could tell you is when he was 13 years old, out at Bethany Farms, which is our property that has a stocked fishing pond, when you have a blind son, you're going to spend a lot of time getting the bass. So we spend a lot of time out there. And he's 13 years old. He said to me one night, sun's going down. He said, Daddy, can you tell me how to become a Christian? And we worked very, very hard not to. force our beliefs on him or help him make some sort of a super... I wanted it to be his decision. And at age 13, he placed his faith and trust in Christ, the Savior and Lord, and it's been delightful to watch his relationship with Jesus Christ motivate him even when he's struggling. So, the other thing about the bear, we call him the bear, the other thing is he doesn't have a filter. So a bear's thinking it, he's going to say it. That's just the way it is with the bear. So one day, we're always looking for things to do together. That's why we bought the motorcycle sidecar. But we also like to go bike riding. So we have a tandem recumbent bike. So recumbent means it sits low on the ground. That's important so he's not afraid. A typical recumbent has three wheels. We have two of them. And the second one, you pop the front wheel off, and you put it on a pivot on the back of the first one. So you end up having a tandem. And it's 13 feet long. I think it's heavier than all Gitop. But you can ride. But each one is independent. So you're both pedaling, and you can get that thing going and have a lot of fun. So obviously, I'm in the front. I've got to do the steering thing. So I'm in the front. The challenge with being in the front, he's about the same size as me. That thing's hard to pedal unless he's pedaling, too. But he's in the back. So I know, I know, as soon as he starts letting up, I know, I know. So one day we're riding, and I could tell he's letting up back there, and I'm pushing that thing for all I can. And so I said, I didn't want to chide him, but I just wanted to remind him. I said, son, you've got to pedal. And so please, do your best, I said. So he thinks about that a minute, and here's what he says. Daddy, I don't want to do my best. I want to do my worst, he said. And don't you like somebody? Because we've all thought that, right? I don't want to do my best, right? He said, I want to do my worst. And then he thought for a couple more minutes, and he just lets it out. He says, dear God, please help this bare petal. And I thought, how sweet that is, that in a moment of weakness, his thought is to cry out to God. And his kind of faith believes that the God of heaven and earth cares about the strength he has right then and there to peddle. And by the way, I tend to agree with him. I think he is exactly right about that. And that's really what we're talking about. It's when we're struggling having the kind of personal relationship with God where we would cry out to Him. So obedience is patterned after obedience to the Lord. We want to do it the first time. We want to do it right away. We want to do it with a happy or a submissive heart. And by the way, I would just say to every parent here, if you have a child who does this, I hope you commend them when they do. Because we've got a lot of good kids running around this church. A lot of good parents who are trying to do their best, but I don't know if you're like this. I know I am. I've got a whole lot of things going on at any given time, and I'm really good about talking about the things that are wrong. I'm really good about the things that need to improve. Bam, bam, here's the list. We've got to get on this, we've got to get on this. I'm not nearly as good at being thankful for or commending all the things that are right. I own that. But as parents, we have to work hard at commending our kids when they are obeying. And then Paul says, this is right. It's just right. It's correct. It's just. It's righteous. It's the way things ought to be. See, that's where living by the Word of God gets you as a child. The precepts of the Lord are right. Now, we probably need to address this question somewhere along the line. What about when a child's no longer living in his or her parents' home? What about when they've established, and here's the key thing, independence financially? And I believe the answer is that ends the responsibility to obey. We have to believe that, I think, because remember what Paul has just said in the previous chapter is when a man and a woman get married, what happens? They do what? They leave father and mother, and they cleave to one another. So our responsibility to obey ends when the financial independent, that doesn't mean we can't ask our parents for advice, but we're not obeying in the same sense. However, lifelong, we're to honor our father and mother. That's the concept that is actually found in the Ten Commandments. So if we go back to Exodus 20, there it is. Honor your father and your mother. There's nothing about obeying there. Honor your father and your mother that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord gives you. Many have observed that honor, that's the attitude. Obedience, that's the action. And of course, they go hand in hand. But it's pretty amazing that the only words in the Ten Commandments given to children is about honoring. Honor your father and your mother because when that's in place, so many other aspects of the relationship are going to fall naturally in line What's honor mean? Well, the right attitude behind the right act of obedience is honor, which means to value highly, to hold in the highest regard and respect. In its verb and noun forms, the word is used as a term of reverence. Think about that. And to think about my parents reverently. Preciousness and honor regarding God the Father and Christ. Children are to honor both their father and their mother, to hold them in the highest possible respect. Now, what's that look like? Well, let's talk first of all about children who are still in the home. I really believe this. A lot of the battle is in the mind. How are you going to habitually think about your mother? How are you going to habitually think about your father? And that's why the put off, put on principle in chapter four is so very, very important. And as a child, you might have to ask yourself, what are some of the thoughts that you habitually think about your parents that make it hard for you to honor them and they need to be crucified. They need to be put to death. And what are the right kind of thoughts that you need to begin thinking about your parents that would help you to honor them well? There's also no doubt, by the way, that parents can help on this one. How can parents help their kids honor mom and honor dad? It's by you speaking honorably about your spouse. If a husband is constantly tearing his wife down, speaking dishonorably about her in front of the kids, that guy shouldn't be surprised if his kids are doing the same thing. Same is true, wife. If you're constantly ripping on your husband in front of the kids, you shouldn't be surprised when your kids won't honor their daddy. See, why is it that little leopards have spots? Well, it's because big leopards have spots, right? And so there ought to be an attitude of honor between spouses for that very, very reason. I also believe it's wise for parents to make it clear to your kids, don't you speak dishonorably to your mama in my presence. You will regret the day you were born if I ever hear you do that. And same is true. A wife ought to say the exact same thing. You're not going to be speaking dishonorably about your daddy in my presence. Now, if a problem needs to be solved, then we can sit down and we can communicate biblically and get that problem solved. But the expected atmosphere in the home ought to be one of honor. It ought to be one of honor for mom and dad. And for the young people who are here, I would just ask you this. How are you doing in these areas? So for example, if mom has asked you to keep your room to a certain standard, do you do it? Without having to be told over and over and over, one time ought to be enough for the rest of your life. And by the way, don't miss this, not just because you're behaviorally doing it, but because you're cultivating a heart of honor toward your parents. If your dad's giving you the chore of having the trash to the curb on trash day, do you obey? I mean like every time, every time, and happy about it. In fact, all the way out, you're lugging that trash to the curb, you could be saying, praise God for a daddy who went to work, praise God for a mama who went to work, who bought us all the junk that we just ate and we just used, the refuge is in this trash I'm taking. If my daddy didn't go to work, if my mama didn't go to work, we wouldn't have any trash to take out and I'd be starving. That's why you're whistling while you're taking the trash out to the curb. You're happy about parents who love you so much that they provided all that they provide for you, honoring your parents. And it can be a beautiful thing. We have, some of you have been to our house. If you've not, come to the Intro to Faith dinner. We'll serve you a pastoral pizza pie. But anyway, if you've been to our house, you know we live in a subdivision of five houses and one of them is the father, the husband's name is Pete. He's an incredible man and I've really enjoyed, they have two sons and I've enjoyed them raising their sons and the relationship of honor that exists between the boys and their dad. So now their oldest son is in college but still lives at home and their youngest son is in high school and here's what happened. About a year and a half ago, at the Biblical Counseling Training Conference in February, we had invited people after the conference that evening to a dinner at our house, but we got a snowstorm. But we went ahead and held the dinner anyway. And so a bunch of people came to our house in a snowstorm on, I think it was a Thursday night. And unbeknownst to me, one of the groups that was coming to my house came in a bus, a church bus, one of those mini buses. And before I even knew they were coming, they got their bus off of our driveway into the grass. And so it was all muddy anyway. And then they tried to get themselves out and they buried it worse. And then they came up and told us what happened. I got a church bus buried in my front yard. That's what I got. So a bunch of us who were already at the dinner, we got our coats on, we went, and we tried to push, you ever try to push a bus, a bus in the mud in a snowstorm? That wouldn't work, and it was getting worse and worse and worse. So we called the tow truck company, and they said, well, it'll be four, there's so many accidents that night, it'll be four hours before we can even tell you if we're gonna come. And the problem was this group had to leave the next day. We had to get that bus out of there. So I called my neighbor Pete. And Pete's the kind of guy who's got a tool for everything. I don't even have to buy tools. I just have to keep in a good relationship with Pete. So I called Pete. I told him what happened. I said, Pete, is there any way you can come help us get this bus out of here? So Pete came with a big old truck. and a strap and his two sons. But what happened next was fascinating, because Pete didn't pull the bus out. What Pete did, he just got out of the truck, surveyed the situation with his boys, he had his oldest boy drive his truck, and he had his youngest boy on the strap, and all Pete did was give them directions. Pete could have done it himself. He wanted his boys to have the experience of how to help somebody else. But what was fascinating to me was Pete didn't have to raise his voice, and his boys did not argue back, like, don't tell me what to do. They did exactly what Daddy told them to do immediately because they honored him. And it wasn't but a couple of minutes, and that bus was pulled out of the mud, was back on the driveway, and everything was fine. But what I loved about it was that example of teenage boys listening carefully to their dad because they had chosen to honor him. Now I realize, and I've got to land this plane here, but I do realize this can be a special challenge for blended families where parents are sharing custody. I understand that's hard, but it's not unusual for parents to be critical of their ex in that situation. They use their kids to get back at their ex-spouse. And we've had a number of parents in our church, they've been in that situation. And they've worked very, very hard not to dishonor the other custodial parent and get all sorts of drama worked up. And I realize sometimes that other ex can be functioning, living in a dishonorable way, Sometimes you have to honor the position even when you can't honor or agree with what the person is doing. And that's hard. But the Lord stands ready to help us honor. You know, sometimes you get an unusual situation to do that. I mentioned we have two children who are adopted. I talked to you about Bear. Let me talk to you about my daughter Karis for a moment. We received a call in the middle of the night. It was from a doctor who knew that we desired to have additional children who were having trouble. And here's what the doctor said, would you like a daughter? That's what the phone call said. Kind of a long story of how in the world that could possibly happen, but two unmarried Purdue students had a child out of wedlock, didn't have a plan, the baby came early, and so they did not want the baby. And so the baby was placed for adoption, but immediately in the state of Indiana, whoever has possession can place the baby until it goes before a judge. That's the way it happened. So anyway, we got our little daughter, Karis, went through the whole home study and legal process and all that sort of thing. But we did not know who the birth parents were. And we had always told Karis, when you get to be 18, we will try to see if those records will be unlocked. And if your birth parents want to have contact from you, we'll facilitate that. We would love to do that. So anyway, Karis' senior year, beginning of her senior year, she's not 18 yet. I come home, I've been traveling somewhere, and my wife Chris says, you're not going to believe this, Karis found out who her birth parents are. I said, what are you talking about? She said, she and Sarah, who's our next-door neighbor, who's the same age as Karis, they were seniors at the time, they were just playing around on the county website of all things. They came across Karis's birth records, and the names of the birth parents had been put online, and the birth parents' names had not been blacked out. So, by the time I got home, my daughter knows who her birth parents are, and of course, you know what they did next, right? Googled the name. She knew exactly where they lived. She knew exactly what kind of work they did. She knew everything about them. And now here I am. What in the world am I going to do with this? And so what I decided to do, I said, here's what I'm going to do. I will contact him. If he wants to have communication from us, fine. If not, we will not bother him again. And so I emailed this man. I said, hey, here's who I am. Whether you know it or not, you gave me one of the best gifts I have ever been given in my life. Your daughter has developed into a beautiful young lady. My wife and I love her like we love our other kids, and if you would like to see her or meet her, we'd be happy to facilitate that." I explained how we got his name, and I said, if you don't, you'll never hear from me again. A day or two later, he contacted me and said, yep, that is me. And interestingly enough, I married the woman that we had the child, I married Karis' birth mom. And they live not too far from here. And I said, listen, your daughter's beautiful. If you would like to meet her, I'd be happy to make that happen. So they said, yeah, we would. So they came up, and at the Ministry Resource Center, right there at Faith East, we had a meeting. Chris, my wife, and I, and Karis, and then their birth parents, or her birth parents, came together and met. went really well and we said, hey, if you'd like us to leave, we'd be happy to, which we did. And they spent some time, just the three of them. And then I said to them, listen, this is Karis's senior year. This is a very, very exciting and busy time for her. But if you want to be part of it, join the party. We would love to honor you any way we possibly can. And so they attended a number of events during her senior year. Then when it came time for graduation, if you've ever been to a graduation at Faith Christian, you know how it works. the father escorts the graduate up to the platform, and then the graduate is given a rose, and then the father escorts the graduate back to where the mother is seated in the auditorium, and the graduate gives her mother a rose. So in this situation, when Karis' name was called, it wasn't just me escorting her. It was me on one arm and her birth father on the other arm. And if you say, why would you do that? Well, if we're against abortion, then I think we better be for adoption. That's what I believe about that. And so me and her birth father escorted her up to this platform, and she wasn't given one rose. She was given two roses. And then we brought her back, and her birth mother was sitting right next to my wife, Chris. And Karis gave my wife, Chris, a rose, and she gave her birth mother a rose. celebrating the fact that she was allowed to live. And then we had an open house afterwards, and I said to these folks, hey, we'd love to have you. We're Baptists. We know how to eat. And so we'd love to have you over at the open house. They came and met all of our family and all of our friends, and it was an absolutely marvelous day. And our goal was to praise God for her life, and it was also to honor her birth parents, because that's what the Word of God says. But what about it? I know I've got to end this plan. I know, I know. Shame on me. I'll do better next time. as soon as I ask forgiveness for lying. But anyway, what about for grown children? That's actually addressed in the Bible. You may remember Jesus talked about it, because the Pharisees had this thing where if their parents needed some financial assistance, the adult kid could say, sorry, I got it, but I've declared to be Corban. Someday I'm going to give that to God, therefore I ain't giving it to you. Here's what Jesus said about that. He was saying, you're experts at setting aside the commandment of God. You don't ever want to be in that sentence. In order to keep your tradition, he said, for Moses said, honor your father and mother. He who speaks evil of father and mother will be put to death. But you say, if a man says to his father or mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corbin, that's to say, given to God, you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother, thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition. You're not honoring your adult parents the way you should. And then, you say, that's bad. Well, the worst part is what Jesus explained to His disciples later. He said, I'll tell you where that's coming from. That's coming out of an evil, evil heart. And I would just ask all of us whose parents are still alive, how are we doing at the matter of honoring them? And I know there's a lot of different situations, and that has to be done on a case-by-case basis. But it's a beautiful thing when it happens. And God has promised that it will go well with us and long life by whatever is his definition as we seek to honor him. Well, hey, when you heard that I was just going to be speaking on three short verses, you might have thought, man, we're going to be done quick. Maybe next time, but isn't it amazing how practical the Word of God is? And I'll tell you, when this is happening in the home, it can be a unifying thing. Let's pray together. Father in heaven, thank you for just the practical aspect of your word, but we confess it's hard for just so many different reasons. And Lord, I pray that Jesus Christ would motivate each one of us to evaluate where we stand in light of this twin command. And Lord, if changes needed to happen, I pray that we would make them. I pray this in Christ's name. Amen.