When I was a boy, my father invented a safety measure for baby highchairs. It was a simple post that could be retrofitted to any highchair. There were a lot of wooden highchairs around in that day, and it could be retrofitted to any highchair, screwed in the front of the chair bottom between a child's legs. My dad had six children. And he had probably seen at least one of us slide down from behind the tray and out of the high chair to the floor. And if I know my brothers, one of them probably made that a regular escape from the high chair. And so my father invented a solution to that problem. And he patented the invention, and he was seeking to take it to market. My dad was the vice president of manufacturing. He knew how to manufacture things. He invested $5,000 of his own money, which is close to $50,000 in today's money. Significant investment. But due to an accident on the part of one of his partners, the partner actually literally broke the mold. Broke the mold that was supposed to mold this piece. They never made it to market. My father lost his $5,000 investment in that product and never saw the light of day. And if you look at high chairs today, many of them have this safety measure built in. Of course, the patent expired, and now any company can use this safety measure and never even acknowledge that Floyd B. Girard invented it. It's a sad story. that has happened to countless inventors down through the centuries. Often those who invent are never recognized, never compensated. I can't say that he patented it, but God the creator invented marriage. And I tell you plainly that many do not recognize him as the inventor because they use and misuse marriage in any way that they see fit. And others have felt no compunction with actually altering his original design for marriage. But God knows more than any of us about human beings and how marriage ought to function. It is still His original design for marriage that leads to human flourishing. And God revealed that original design for His invention here in Genesis chapter 2. So let's begin reading in verse 22, Genesis 2 and verse 22 on through the end of the chapter. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman, and he brought her to the man. The first marriage was an arranged marriage. I won't say anything more about that. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Now, we unpacked Adam's reaction to his bride in verse 23 last Sunday, and I'm not going to repeat those thoughts, but I do need to make it clear that Adam's words end with verse 23. And our New King James Version makes that clear by using quotation marks at the end of verse 23. So verses 24 and 25 are God's explanation of marriage upon the occasion of the first wedding. If you will, they were the first premarital counseling ever given. and they came from God's lips Himself. So in verse 24 we have God's explanation of God's design for marriage. God's explanation of God's design for marriage. Now there are three key words or phrases here in verse 24 that explain God's original design for marriage. The first is Leave. A man shall leave his father and mother. Now, the word leave in this verse obviously does not apply primarily to physical distance. In the book of Genesis, we have the example of Jacob's 12 sons. They were married. They had set up their own households, but they still lived with Jacob, not in the same tent, not in the same household, but in close physical proximity. They worked the same land. They kept the same flocks. They were a clan, and Jacob was the leader of the clan. I'm reminded of visits to my grandma and grandpa Bays when I was a child. Many times, my parents would load my sister Becky and me in the car, and we would travel the six or seven hours from western Pennsylvania to Saginaw, Michigan. Grandpa Bays was a farmer. And there were always tractors in the farmyard. There was a huge barn there next to his house. Behind the barns, there were huge fields. They stretched as far as you could see. But the draw going to my grandparents' house was not my grandparents, unfortunately. Now, when we would get there, we would, first of all, eat some of Grandma Baze's sugar cookies, which remain the best in the universe to this day. And then we would sit and talk to Grandma and Grandpa Baze with my parents for as long as we could possibly stand it. Because the primary draw at my grandparents were called cousins. Because Grandpa Baze's house was on the corner, and then one, two, three, right next to it down the road, his three sons had houses. And so as soon as we could possibly break away, we would run down that road to find our cousins. Some cousins were older than us. Some cousins were younger than us. But the cousins were always fun. Now, Grandpa Baze's three sons worked that farm with him. They had set up their own households. They had their own families, because I had cousins. You could say that they had left mother and father, but they certainly hadn't gone very far. So this word leave does not speak of physical distance. Rather than physical distance, this word leave defines the primary relationship in a person's life. Before marriage, Parents are the primary relationship with a child. But after marriage, this must change completely. The primary relationship, according to Scripture, is spouse to spouse. That relationship trumps all others. It trumps the relationship with parents. It trumps the relationship with brothers and sisters. It trumps the relationships with sons and daughters. As I indicated to you last Sunday, the Bible regards the husband-wife relationship as a blood relationship. And that blood relationship is more important than any other blood relationship. Now, often sitcoms, situation comedies on television, treat the relationship between a guy and his mother-in-law as a laughing matter. I mean, writers of situation comedies make a lot of fodder out of the idea that a guy can't get along with his mother-in-law, which, from my experience, is actually not true to life. Rarely is the problem between a guy and his mother-in-law. Much more often, the problem is between a wife and her mother-in-law. That's why they don't joke about that. It's no laughing matter. Now, why is the problem often between a wife and her mother-in-law? Well, one, sometimes that husband has a problem letting go of mommy, and sometimes mommy has a problem letting go of little Bobby. And so what you have is you have a man caught in between two women, and that's never a good situation. caught in between two women who are vying for him to make them number one. Now, from a biblical perspective, there's no question about this. A husband's first responsibility, a husband's primary relationship is to his wife. And mom is going to have to learn that that is a principle in God's design of marriage. That husband needs to make sure that his wife is his number one priority. Let me make one more application about this principle of leaving. I think in our society, maybe we can expand the application of this principle a bit. You see, in our society right now, the average age of marriage is 30 for males and 28 for females. And so by the time a person is 28 or 30, that relationship with mom and dad is not nearly as important. It's not really in the primary place anymore. To some degree, they've already left. But that just means that there may be other relationships that a husband and a wife need to make sure that they leave behind. Many times, if you don't get married until you're 30 years of age, you're ensconced in a workplace. And oftentimes, you have relationships in workplace. And they may not be romantic relationships, but they can become very important relationships. They may be relationships with people of the opposite sex. They may be relationships with people of the same sex that you have a lot in common with. You know, buddies that you go out and spend the evening with all the time. I know couples that have real problems shortly after marriage because the guy wants to go out and spend the same time he always did with his buddies. Sometimes it's the lady that wants to do that as well. Let me put it this way. Saying I do means saying I don't. To many other relationships, they cannot compete with the primacy of that husband-wife relationship. There must be a leaving. And then the second key word in verse 25 is translated be joined. here in our New King James Version. A husband is to be joined to his wife. But I much prefer a good modern translation, and that is that this word is translated stick or stuck. This word is used in the book of Ruth. Boaz told Ruth to stick by his servant girl so that she would be protected. This word's used of Saul in battle. There are verses in 1 and 2 Samuel that speak of the Philistines sticking to Saul in the midst of battle until they eventually killed him. And my favorite use of this word is the description of one of David's mighty men, Eleazar son of Dodo. What a great name. Here's what 2 Samuel says about Eleazar son of Dodo. He arose and attacked the Philistines until his hand was weary and his hand stuck to the sword. The same word. You get the idea. When we marry, we are to stick to our spouse permanently. I used this illustration. I stole some of my own thunder last Sunday in discussion, but I'm going to repeat the illustration. The best illustration of this word is permanent glue. Years ago, I illustrated this idea in an adult Sunday school class by taking two 2 by 4s about this long with Elmer's wood glue and gluing them together lengthwise. And then they dried for an entire week. They sat there in that classroom for the entire week. And next Sunday, I brought back a crowbar. And I pried them apart. And I did that because when I pried them apart, parts of one adhered to the other, and parts of this piece also adhered to this piece. You can't take them apart without damaging both. The idea in this word is of a permanent bond that is not intended to be broken, a permanent bond that can only be broken with damage. This word also, probably the most important usage of this word stick or stuck in the Old Testament is used of God's people sticking to the Lord. Keep your finger here in Genesis 2. Let's look up a couple of verses, okay? Turn over a few pages to Deuteronomy chapter 10. Deuteronomy chapter 10. Deuteronomy 10 and verse 20, God speaking to the Israelites through Moses, you shall fear the Lord your God, you shall serve Him, and to Him you shall stick. Turn over a few more pages to Joshua chapter 22. Joshua 22 and verse 5. But take careful heed. These are Joshua's words to Israel. but take careful heed to do the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to stick to Him and to serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul. So this word stick or stuck is a covenant word. A covenant word. It describes the covenant relationship between the Israelites and their God. They were to be stuck to him in covenant faithfulness. In fact, the illustration of covenant faithfulness that's used most often in the Old Testament is Marriage. Prophets like Hosea pictured Israel as if she were married to the Lord. And so there's a direct parallel in the Old Testament in this word stick or stuck, a direct parallel between the marriage relationship and the relationship that Israel had with her God. And it is a covenant Relationship. To make this even simpler, when God used this word stick, he implied that marriage is a covenant. In fact, Proverbs 2 and Malachi 2 call marriage a covenant point blank. Now, why am I making such a big deal out of this? Well, many people in our culture today think of marriage as a contract. We call it the marriage contract. Is that biblically accurate? What's the difference between a contract and a covenant? Well, contracts, number one, are between two parties. Number two, they are normally entered into for my profit. I'm getting something out of it. That's why I enter into a contract. And number three, they have an if-then mentality, an if-then foundation. If I do this, then you do that. They're 50-50. A covenant, on the other hand, number one, is between three people. Marriage is between the husband, the wife, and God. In the second place, if we enter into marriage correctly, we enter into it for the benefit of the person we're marrying. Wow, isn't that an odd thought? And then number three, It is an unconditional relationship. I make vows to my spouse that I will carry out no matter what comes back from the other direction. I'm all in. So you see, when a couple enters into marriage based on a contract, that is a very weak foundation. But when a couple enters into marriage and understands that this is a covenant, that's a strong foundation. That's a commitment to stick to you faithfully till death do us part. And by the way, we take marriage vows in public Because we are entering a covenant. You see, marriage, when it's a covenant, is not simply a private matter between two individuals. We enter a covenant with God as part of that covenant. And so we enter a covenant before God in order to enter that covenant before God, we normally take those covenant vows before God's people. See, there is a reason for a church wedding. And it's not so we can spend a bunch of money and have a big party. I mean, those things are nice, but that's not the reason. We take our vows before people in a church because we understand that we're entering into a covenant before God and we want God's people to witness that covenant. And then there's one more phrase that defines marriage in God's definition of marriage. One flesh. They shall become one flesh. Now that phrase looks back to Adam's reaction when he first saw Eve. He said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. And we talked about this last Sunday. I believe that they literally, I mean, God literally took Adam's flesh and made it into Eve. I think they may have had exactly the same DNA, except one was Y and one was X. But in making this commentary on Adam's words, they shall become one flesh, I believe that God is taking this in a little bit different direction. The word flesh in the Old Testament sometimes means person, one person. Again, keep your finger here in Genesis chapter 2 and turn over just a couple of pages to Genesis chapter 6. Genesis 6 explains God's decision to judge the entire world in a flood. Let's see what God says in verses 12 and 13 of Genesis 6. So God looked upon the earth, and indeed it was corrupt, for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth. And God said to Noah, the end of all flesh has come before me, for the earth is filled with violence through men. And behold, I will destroy them with the earth. Now when those verses speak of all flesh, is that just talking about the bodies of the people on earth? God was only interested in destroying their bodies. Is that the idea? No. It means that God was going to destroy all people on earth, with the exception of Noah. So when we look at this phrase here, back in chapter 2 and verse 24, one flesh, We should not think that it focuses solely on the physical or solely on the sexual. When a man and woman marry, they become one person. And when Bible defines personhood, one of the ways in which it defines personhood is body, soul, and spirit. So let's look at those three levels of personhood. So first, there's the physical level. There's the level of the body. And I think it's normal for there to be some measure of physical attraction between a guy and a gal who are considering marriage. Now, Proverbs tells us that physical beauty is fleeting. And most of us as Christians know that. But I also think most of us have trouble imagining living our lives with someone to whom we are not physically attracted. And then after marriage, the sexual relationship is holy and good and right. Sexual union is a physical symbol of the unity that we're talking about right now. And without that sexual union, a marriage cannot be consummated. There are grounds for annulment. Without that sexual union, there are no children. There's no family. And so that's probably what I would call the lowest level of oneness, the lowest level of unity that God intends for a marriage. Next, there's what I would call the soul level. Are a man and a woman on the same wavelength? Do they like the same books, the same music, the same hobbies, the same food? Are they roughly at the same intellectual level? Do they enjoy being with one another? I mean, they're going to be companions for the rest of their lives. Malachi 2 calls marriage a covenant of companionship. I think sometimes very serious Christians, and I run into these students, students at Bob Jones like this. They're very serious about their commitment to Christ. They're very serious about the spiritual aspects of their lives. And sometimes they can look too quickly past this second level toward the spiritual level and focus only on that. But I would ask, is this your soulmate? Is this person a good friend? Do you look forward to their companionship? Because you're going to be companions for many years. And I'll tell you what happens when a couple has very little unity on this soul level. Once the kids leave, you know what I'm going to say? They drift apart and they drift toward divorce or they drift toward adultery because they don't have anything in common. And then finally, the highest level of unity in a marriage is the spiritual level. Now, in the first place, this means that both husband and wife are trusting Jesus Christ for salvation. They've yielded their lives to him. Marriage is the closest possible human relationship. And the Bible warns against being unequally yoked to unbelievers, because there's no closer yoke than marriage. And so a Christian should never... When I was this age, we called it dating. I don't think they even use that word anymore. I don't know what they call it. But a Christian should never date, or court, or hang with, or you fill in the blank with somebody who's a non-believer. Should never put themselves in a situation where they can fall in love with somebody and be drawn toward a marriage relationship. unless that person is a believer. But that's just the beginning of spiritual unity, both trusting Jesus Christ for salvation Beyond that, beyond that foundation, are they agreed on the type of church they will join? Are they agreed on how involved they're going to be in Christian service? Are they agreed on how they will raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? Do they share around God's Word? Do they pray together? Are they being drawn closer and closer together because they're being drawn closer and closer to the Lord? The first principle that I share in premarital counseling is the triangle. There's three. Three in marriage. You've already heard me say it. Husband, wife, God. If both of them are being drawn closer to God, they're automatically being drawn closer to each other. And so every Christian man who proposes ought to be thinking about these kinds of issues before he proposes. And every Christian lady ought to be thinking about these issues before she says yes to a proposal. Now, marriages that endure usually have unity on all three of these levels. But I think there are a lot of couples that seriously consider marriage when they're only unified on two of these levels. A girl will say, we're great friends, and he's a strong spiritual leader, but I'm just not really attracted to him. Two out of three. Or a guy will say, she is a beautiful Christian girl, and spiritually, we are headed in the same direction. She's gorgeous, but we don't have anything in common. Outside of church, there's nothing for us to talk about. Two out of three. Or probably what's most common, and often it's a girl who says it, he's a hunk. We can talk for hours and we enjoy so many of the same things, but spiritually, he's a zero. When I bring up Christ or I bring up the Bible, he's not interested at all. Two out of three. The marriage of two sinners is hard enough when there's unity at all three levels. But when one of those levels is missing, a harmonious, long-lasting marriage can be really difficult. So those of you who are still in the market to be married someday, I urge you, make sure you're considering all three levels of that one flesh, one person relationship before you say, I do. And then in verse 25, God adds an epilogue to this definition of marriage. It's really a summary of what marriage was like before the fall. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Now let me tell you, no human being since Adam and Eve has experienced marriage in this way. You've never talked to anybody who has had this experience. When we read verse 25, we are looking over a huge impassable wall into a foreign land where we don't understand the language that is spoken. One commentary put it this way, we all look at Genesis 2 from beyond Genesis 3. We all look at this ideal of marriage from beyond the fall. And to some degree, we can't fully understand it. But here's the thing, it still remains God's ideal for marriage. And so this ideal state has, again, three dimensions. The first dimension where Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed was in their relationship with God. Because they were without sin, they walked with God in the garden in the cool of the day with nothing to hide, completely open to God. Of course, that all changed the moment they sinned. They made aprons of fig leaves to hide their physical undress, but they also hid from God because they knew that they had more to hide than that. They knew they needed to hide their sin. They knew they needed to hide their disobedience. And every human being is in exactly that same condition. Many human beings don't even want to admit that gods exist. I mean, what's the easiest way of hiding in the garden? The easiest way of hiding in the garden is what a three-year-old does. God can't see me. I just say, God doesn't exist, so God can't see me. And that's how I hide. But there are many human beings that know too well, because God has constituted this way, they know too well that God is there. And so they develop other techniques for hiding from God, other fig leaves. For some people, it's just sheer busyness. As long as I can be just busy all the time, I don't ever have to deal with the God who's there. And so it's go, go, go, go, go. Other people, for other people, it's not so much that they're busy, it's just that every moment of every day is filled with something coming in their eyes or their ears because they don't ever want to be quiet. and alone with God. And so either the phone is always in front of them or there are earbuds in their ears with music blaring in. There's never a quiet moment when God might see me. As soon as I walk in the house and the house is quiet, the television goes on, or the radio goes on, or my phone comes up, or my laptop is open, because I need to hide from God. Even genuine Christians sometimes fall into these kinds of techniques. Let me ask you, how much quiet is there in your home in a day? It's a searching question in our day, isn't it? It's just so easy for there to be nothing but garbage all the time. As Christians, we know that sooner or later we have to face up to the truth we find in Psalm 139. Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend into heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me. And then the second dimension is their relationship with one another. And of course, the most obvious expression of Adam and Eve's relationship with one another was their literal physical undress. Martin Luther made a comment about this physical aspect that's worth repeating. I quote, therefore, this passage points out admirably how much evil followed after the sin of Adam For now, it would be regarded as the utmost madness if anyone walked about naked. But what is true physically in our relationships with others is just as true in the non-physical aspects of our lives. We don't just wear clothing to hide our bodies. We also hide other aspects of ourselves from others. We hide our true feelings, exposing them to very few. We hide what we really think. One of the definitions of an adult is that his thoughts and emotions don't just dribble out of his mouth all the time. He's learned to keep those things back, secret. clothed. Why? Because I don't want other people to see the dark side of me. I don't want other people to see where I fail and where I sin. Every human being has secrets. We have things that we don't want any human being to know about. We all learn ways of clothing, not just our bodies, but everything else about us as well. And then the third dimension of this unashamed exposure of Adam and Eve was intra personal, their relationship with self. You know, really, the hardest person to hide from is myself. Now, many human beings use the same techniques that I mentioned a few minutes ago that we use to hide from God. They use those same techniques to hide from themselves. But I think in addition to those techniques, many, many human beings, they kind of develop psychological tricks. They develop ways of being able to hide the ugly parts of themselves, even from their own gaze. The Bible speaks of secret sins. And secret sins are not just things that I hide from others. They're not just things that I try to hide from God, oftentimes those secret sins are sins that I hide from myself. The heart is deceitful, desperately wicked, because oftentimes the person that I go to the greatest lengths to deceive is myself. Hiding behind fig leaves from myself." Now, the challenge of verse 25 is that God designed marriage between a man and a woman to include this kind of transparency and this kind of intimacy. You know, the most difficult intimacy in marriage is not the physical. Although for some of us that may be a problem. The most difficult intimacy is to be truly transparent and honest with my spouse about who I really am and where I struggle and how often I sin. Because we're sinners and we don't want to reveal the dark side of ourselves. We don't want to admit to the person that we love most that there are parts of me that are ugly. And some of the biggest bumps in most marriage occur when we reveal our nakedness to our spouses, not on a physical level, but on the level of our souls and especially our spirits. When they see how ugly we are within and we know that they see. That kind of transparency, that kind of intimacy is so difficult because it requires absolute trust between two spouses. It requires a freedom from fear that is built on the foundation of agape love. And there was no suspicion, and there was no fear between the first bride and the first groom until the first sin. And then the trust was broken. and they clothe themselves and they hid, not just from the eyes of God, but from the eyes of one another. But this willingness to know and be known, to develop this kind of transparency and intimacy, is still God's design for marriage. But this intimacy and transparency on the one hand must be matched by trust and acceptance and often, I haven't used this word yet, often forgiveness on the other hand. I'll be truthful with you. This ideal that I've put out in front of you this morning is impossible for two sinners. As I said, we view Genesis 2 from the other side of Genesis 3. We're fallen human beings. I like the way one author put it. We all marry the wrong person. We all marry the wrong person because we marry a sinner. And they marry the wrong person because they marry a sinner. And so what we're talking about here in verse 25, this ideal is actually an impossibility. But here's what's wonderful. When we're believers, when we're Christians, we have resources to make progress toward this ideal that non-Christians don't have. We have the help of the Holy Spirit within. And the way I thought about this this morning is the Holy Spirit doesn't just conform us to the image of Christ. If we're married, the Holy Spirit conforms us to this ideal. And we always, every morning, have access to the grace of God. And unbelievers don't have that. Listen, if you're here right now, this morning and you've been listening to me and your heart is heavy to hear what I've been talking about because you know there are things in your marriage that need to be fixed things that you need to deal with. The question I would ask you is this. Do you have God's help because you know you've trusted Jesus Christ and he is at work in your life. That is the key. You see, if you have dealt with Jesus, if you've put your faith in Jesus for the forgiveness of your sin, and you have put your life in His hands, His Holy Spirit is at work in your life. He's changed you from the inside out. Now, there are a lot of people, especially down south here in this Christian culture we live in, who think they're Christians, but they have never really let Jesus have their hearts. They might have said a prayer at some point and said, Yeah, I want Jesus to take away all my sins. I want to have eternal life. But they've never really let Jesus have control. You see, Jesus said, repent and believe the gospel. That word repent means to turn around. It means to let God have his way. I wonder if there's someone here this morning who needs to say, Jesus, I believe you died for me. I want you to forgive all my sin. but I am putting my life in your hands. I want to have the marriage that your words arise. If you need to come to Jesus, then pray that simple prayer right now. Just from your heart, direct it to him. He can hear your thoughts in your very heart. Jesus, I believe you died on the cross in my place. to bear the punishment of my sins. I want you to forgive me. I want you to give me eternal life. But I also understand that I need to give you my life and let you have control. And today I'm doing that, Jesus. I believe there's someone here today. You need to take that step. Would you pray that prayer?