So like Kosti said, we're talking about parenting today, and that's because that's the next part of the passage in Titus chapter one. And so I was doing some research this week about parenting, and I found some quotes that I thought might be helpful. So as you are, as we're getting into this idea, here's some parenting quotes that I thought were good. The first one is that you can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance, is one of those things. Another one, I want my children to have all the things that I couldn't afford, and then I want to move in with them. Another one, having children is like a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. Another one, why don't kids understand that their nap is not for them, but for us? Here's another one, having a child is like getting a tattoo on your face. You better be committed. And then finally, you don't know what, he goes, the guy says, I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting, the getting up early or the acting like you know what you're doing. Well, God's word does not want us to act like we know what we're doing when it comes to parenting. It wants to teach us how to honor God with our parenting. And so that's what we're gonna look at today. To start us out today, I want you to turn to 1 Samuel 2. 1 Samuel 2. If you've got a Bible from an usher, that's page 251. 1 Samuel 2. This is one of the more memorable stories in the Bible about parenting, and it involves a priest named Eli and his two sons. His two sons, here he is in ministry, ministering at the tabernacle around the ark. And here are his two sons who are also doing the same. But yet his sons do not turn out to be the kind of guys that you want your daughter to date, that you want working for you at your company. It would be the exact opposite. So look at chapter two and drop down to verse 12. This is kind of a summary statement on their life. Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the Lord. And then the rest of the paragraph describes how they would extort people at the temple, how they would take their offerings and use it on themselves. And then it continues, verse 17, thus the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the Lord. So these are not good guys. They're so not good. In fact, look at verse 22. Eli's very old. And he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance of the temple meeting. So they're seducing the greeters outside the tabernacle. And he said to them, why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons, it's not good. It is no good report that I hear the people of the Lord spreading about. Well, the prophet comes to Eli and says to him, Eli, because you did not parent your sons, because you did not discipline your sons, because you did not teach them, I'm actually removing this ministry from you and your family. You're not going to be able to do this anymore. I'm removing your priesthood. And so what happens then is, so that's the statement, and then years later, God is talking to Samuel, and he says to Samuel, who's replacing Eli. Samuel's going up, Eli's going down. Samuel's gonna be the spiritual leader in Israel. And he says to him, look at chapter three, verse 11. God begins to say, I'm going to fulfill what I told Eli I was gonna do. Verse 11, the Lord said to Sam, and behold, I'm about to do a thing in Israel at which the ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. On that day, I will fulfill against Eli all that I've spoken concerning his house from beginning to end. And I declare to him that I'm about to punish his house forever for the iniquity that he knew because his sons were blaspheming God. And notice, and he did not restrain them. Therefore, I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice offering forever. God has spoken and he carries it out in chapter four. There is a war and Eli's sons are killed in that war. Eli gets the news. He falls over dead and Eli's house is no more. And now Samuel enters into leadership. But I don't want you to miss what was said in verse 13, punishing his house forever for the iniquity that he knew because his sons were blaspheming God and he did not restrain them. From this account, we learn a very valuable leadership lesson when it comes to ministry in the church. And it is this, the ability and the privilege of a man to lead in ministry is directly connected to the behavior of his children. I want you to see this, so turn to Titus chapter one. Titus chapter one. Like I said, we're making our way through the book of Titus. We're going slowly through these qualifications because there are all kinds of people out there telling you, you should listen to me. I got a Bible in my hand. I got a whole bunch of followers. And because of that, you should listen to what I say. You should adopt what I say. You should take what I say into your life and follow it because what I'm saying comes from God. Well, that's not true if these qualifications are not met. in a man to lead the church. So church leaders, elders, pastors, deacons, they're not allowed to act like they know what they're doing when it comes to parenting. They must know God's standards for fathers and be examples of how God expects fathers to lead their homes. Leadership was needed on the island of Crete. There's all kinds of craziness going on. And so Jesus, through Paul, says these are the qualities, this is the lifestyle that the leaders in my church must have if they're gonna lead the body of Christ. And so starting in verse six, the head of the church, the Lord, the leader of the church, he establishes these are the criteria. This is what it means. This is what must be in the life of a man who leads the church. And as we saw last week, these qualifications, these criteria start in the home. Look at what God says in verse six. If anyone, if anyone who's going to be an elder, verse 5, if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, we talked about that last week, and his children are believers, not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. So he is to be above reproach. The idea there is that he has a good reputation. He is an example to other believers. And what we're seeing here is that it starts in his home. His family is such that if others followed his example that they'd become more like Jesus. His home, his relationship with his wife and his kids is the top criteria for leadership. It is the area of his life that makes a man eligible to lead in the church. His family shows his competence as a leader. His home is like a small church, and his leadership of that home, if he does a good job there with his wife and kids, it makes him eligible for more, for leading God's people in the church. And as we saw last week, it starts with his relationship with his wife. So he's to have a good reputation. He's to be a good example in relationship to his wife. This means that he is loyal, that he's faithful, that he's a one-woman man, that he only has eyes for his wife. He's a man of physical integrity. He can be trusted with other men's wives. He can be trusted with other people's daughters. There's gonna be integrity there. He's not gonna tarnish the name of Jesus and harm people in that area. And then second, he's to have a good reputation when it comes to his kids. The way that I've tried to summarize this criteria for church leadership is this. A church leader must be an influential father. That's the big idea of today. He must be an influential father. This idea that Homer Simpson is some kind of like paragon of virtue for fathers is ridiculous. This passive, totally checked out, completely doing everything else but fathering. That's unacceptable for people who call themselves Christians and fathers. We saw it already is unacceptable when it comes to Eli being a priest and his two sons. God's like, I'm taking all of that from you because you didn't lead your family. You didn't lead your boys. And just like this verse, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna jump into the details of chapter one, verse six, and then we're gonna go from there and we're gonna look at the theology. Okay, what is the background that this verse is expecting parents to understand and do? And so that's kind of the big picture of where we're going today. So as you look at this text in verse six, what I wanna say is what I said last week is just like this verse doesn't require a man to be married to be a church leader, so it doesn't require a man to have children to be a church leader. And the reason I say that is because of that word, if. If anyone. So if he's married, here's the standard. If he has children, here's the standard. If he doesn't have a wife, doesn't have kids, then there must be other ways to assess his leadership. So, to kind of try to explain verse six better, let's look at point number one with the idea of the charge. What is the charge that God gives to fathers, or really to church leaders, those who want to lead in the church? What's their assignment? What's their responsibility? What are the orders that Jesus gives pastors or elders? Well, if I'm gonna summarize that with that big idea statement, it's this, the church leaders are required to have influence that inspires obedience from his children. Influence that inspires obedience, and that's what I'm gonna show you from this text. So to start out, just breaking down the different words, that word children is used for offspring of any age. So if you have a child that's a newborn, you have a child that's 60, That word would be used for both. It's a big picture word like that. Now having said that, I think Paul is talking to Titus about older children. And the reason I say that is because of that word at the end of verse 6, debauchery. That word means wild living. It means out of control. It means drunkenness and promiscuity and drug use. I don't think you can use that word to describe a young child. Now, if you're sitting there right now saying, you don't know my three-year-old, I feel really bad for you. I feel really bad for you. You need some help. But in general, you can't describe little children that way. So this is speaking of older children. So he has lived in such a way that when his kids are older, there's an obedience, there's a respect because he's had a life of godly influence. Now, to continue to dig into the details, look at that word believers. It says that children are to be believers. That word can also mean faithful, trustworthy, reliable, obedient. And so there's a controversy as you study this text. Does it mean believers, that they must be saved? Or does it believe that they must be faithful, they must be obedient? So we've got to break that down and try to figure out what does it mean? And so this is one of those nerd moments. The Bible nerds are like, woohoo! And everyone else is like, oh no. But we all want to be Bible nerds. And the reason is because I don't want you to read the text. and have questions in your mind, like, what does this mean, believers? Like, what is that? We need to understand the text. That's one of my goals for you. It says at the bottom of the notes that you understand the text, you know how to live the text, and you walk out saying, Jesus is wonderful. And so that's the goal. So my understanding of this text is that children are to be faithful or obedient, namely faithful and obedient to their dads, to their parents. I don't think this is a requirement that pastors must have saved children. And the first reason I think that is because godly character doesn't guarantee that your kids will be saved. It just doesn't guarantee it. And the context here is character. So godly character doesn't necessarily equal the salvation of one's children. Now, there should be influence and there should be godly influence and there should be preaching the gospel and pointing them to Jesus, absolutely, but your character has no control over whether or not they sign on the dotted line and give their lives to Christ. So that's one of the reasons why I think this is faithful children. Number two, this word translated believers or faithful, it's true that it is never used of non-Christians in the New Testament. It never is. It's only used for Christians. So that's one of the details that's like, well, maybe it should be believers. However, when we take the range of its use, when we take the first 200 years before the New Testament, 200 years after the New Testament and go, okay, how is this word used? What we learn is that in the writings that we have from that 500 year to 400 year period, this word is mostly used to describe faithfulness. And second of all, it's also used to describe the actions of water, to describe the actions of illnesses. So it's not a word that is specifically determinative, that it's only used for believers. It is in the New Testament, but outside the New Testament, the range of meaning is bigger. Now, the third reason why I think this shouldn't be believers but faithful is what Paul says right after. So he describes this word that's translated believers with these words, not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. So it says, so the description there is nothing about, well, they must be believers, comma, given their lives to Jesus or have faith in Christ or something like that. No, it speaks to their character, to their character as faithful. So that word charge there, you see that in verse six? That's not like, oh, there's a little gossip about, you know, his kids are running around and being crazy. That's not what that is. This word, charge, is used in legal courts. This is a word that means they are guilty and there's evidence. That's the idea. The behavior of the older child, they are guilty of, number one, debauchery, which I said is wild living, drunkenness, promiscuity, drug use, partying, wasteful, out-of-control living. It's actually the word used for the prodigal son in Luke 15, 13. It describes him perfectly. And the accusation with evidence would be of insubordination, which is flagrant disobedience, rebellion. It's used in verse 10 of heresy, false teachers. That's what describes false teachers, that they refuse to submit to the word and to the will of God. That's what's being described here. And none of that can reasonably be considered obedient, trustworthy, or faithful. In other words, the lives of his children cannot bring shame on his leadership, on his ministry, on the church that he gets to serve, on his witness for Jesus. And then the fourth main reason I take the view of faithful instead of believing children is because there's a parallel passage in 1 Timothy 3. So let's turn there. It's just two books to the left. 1 Timothy 3. If you get to the name of a city like Thessalonica or Ephesus, you've gone too far. If you get to like Joshua, you've gone way too far. So it's just 1 Timothy 3. Paul is giving instructions to Timothy saying, these are the kinds of people that should be leaders in the church. This is what their lives should be like. It's the same exact thing as we're seeing in Titus 1. Titus is in Ephesus, that's in Turkey. I'm sorry, Timothy is in Ephesus, which is in modern Turkey. Titus is on the island of Crete, which you could go to today. And notice what he says about the leaders when he talks to Timothy. The saying is trustworthy. That word trustworthy is our same word in Titus 1-6. So you could translate Titus 1-6, his children are trustworthy. He says this saying is trustworthy. If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach." Sounds familiar. The husband of one wife, sounds familiar, and so on. Well, he gets to the example of his family example, the example of his family leadership in verse four. Now, here's the deal. If saved kids was the requirement, then you would expect to see that here, but you don't. Verse 4, he must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children, that's the same word in Titus 1-6, of any age, keeping his children submissive. And so that's the requirement. Saved kids is not a requirement for the elders in Ephesus. And so why would Paul make it the requirement for the elders in Crete? It just doesn't, that would make conflict with these texts rather than making these texts come together. So having said that, let's notice what his leadership should be. Look at verse four again. It says that he must manage or lead or be in charge of his home, his family. He must also, number two, he must lead with dignity. You see that in verse four? with all dignity. That's beyond just meeting a standard. This word speaks to something above the ordinary. It's worthy of special attention, special respect. Notice also the result of his influence is this, that his kids, verse four, are submissive. It means compliant, obedient. They respond to his authority. And he doesn't have to force it. His life inspires obedience from his children. And then look at verse four again. If he does all of this, he will have managed his family, verse four, well. He will have led it in a way that's free from objection, that's admirable, that measures up to the standard God sets in his word for dads. And why is his influence at home so important? Look at verse five. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care? How will he love? How will he shepherd God's church? He demonstrates in his kids the leadership that would serve the church well. If he's unable to lead his kids, that fact brings his ability to lead the church into question. No matter how godly a man is, kids who are known for debauchery and insubordination cancel his credibility as a leader. And that doesn't mean he can't serve. Of course he could serve all over the place. It doesn't mean that he can't have substantial ministry. He absolutely could have substantial ministry. It just means that this leadership over the church of an elder or a pastor, that that would be not open to him. So what I've just described is the requirements for church leaders. But as I've been telling you, these requirements, our requirements for church leaders that they must meet, but it's really the standard that all Christians should aspire to if they have children. And so what we need to look at now is, okay, what does this mean for all of us, whether church leader or not? How am I supposed to take that idea, thanks for that, and apply it to my life in some meaningful way? Well, the idea is this. that what is described in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus chapter 1 about the life of a pastor's home is really meant to mark all the homes of Christians. And so to examine this idea, I want us to think about point number two, the concerns. The concerns. So if we're gonna have homes in line with what this verse says, which is the idea, pastors are the examples and the rest of us are meant to follow those examples as they follow Christ. What should Christian parents be concerned about when it comes to their kids? What direction should Christian dads be influencing their homes? What should their kids say is the biggest preoccupation that he has? What is it that should drive our parenting? What is it that should be at the center of our parenting? Before I answer that question, I just need to give you this warning right now. If your toes don't hurt already, they might start hurting a little bit. Because these concerns, I mean, I've been talking to people that we've been leaving today, and these concerns can step on our toes. And just know, I'm giving them to you because they're biblical, I'm giving them to you because when things are biblical, that means they came from God, and when they came from God, they're for our good. And if I kept them from you, that would be evidence of not loving you, I love you. So we're gonna have some hard, this might be a hard conversation. But if you're coming here today and you're feeling like a failure as a parent, then let these truths get you on track again and go, okay, here's one that I really want to work on today. Grab that one and go with it. If you're sitting there like, I got this parent thing figured out. I love that. I love that. But if that's you, Then let these truths maybe challenge you or maybe sharpen you so that you could be more biblical in your parenting. We could all grow, right? So let me start by saying this is what should not be at the center of your parenting, okay? This should not be at the center. Your kids, right? The child-centered home is not Christian. It's idolatrous. At the center of your parenting must be Jesus. Right? A Jesus-centered home is the best way to do what's absolutely best for your children. So what will be your concerns if you have a Jesus-centered home? What will be on your mind? What will you be preoccupied with? If you want Jesus at the center of your home, what will it look like? I'm gonna give you seven concerns, all right? What is it that should occupy your heart and your thinking when it comes to your kids, number one? You will be more concerned about their souls than their bodies. You'll be more concerned with their souls than their bodies. Listen, everything that we look at with our eyes, everywhere we go, everything we see, everything we experience, will all pass away someday. The mountains and the rivers and the oceans and the buildings and the beaches and all of it is going to be gone. But listen, your child's soul is going to last forever in heaven or hell, one of those two places. Right? So think and pray often about their souls. Let nothing concern you more than their eternity. Ask yourself as you're interacting with them, as you're watching things and doing things, how is this going to impact their eternal soul? No part of them should be more precious to you than the part of them that will never die. Closely related to this, number two, be more concerned about their salvation than their success. more concerned about their salvation than their success. Success-centered homes where grades and sporting events and accolades dominate. What that does is it tells your kids that those things are your God, not Jesus. And then what happens is that like, there's so many things going on. I remember being a youth leader 20 years ago and talking to this student. She's like, oh, but I've got this practice and I've got this thing and I've got that thing and I've got that thing. And I just really have the, this is my last week at youth group. And I was just, I'm just so busy. I was just like, no, if you're too busy for church, you're too busy. If you're too busy to read the Bible together, pray together, those kinds of things, if that keeps it pushed out to the periphery of your life, then you're just too busy. You need to get rid of things to get that back into line. They need to know that loving God is more important than getting A's. And now I'm not saying that your kids should be uneducated losers, so please don't think I'm saying that. But they should know that their salvation is more important to you than their success. They should know that peace with God is more important than being MVP. They should know that believing is more important to you than behaving. And that all behaving is to bring honor and to express gratitude to the God who saved them. Number three, be more concerned with their holiness than their happiness. More concerned with their holiness than their happiness. It's everywhere in our culture, right? Parents saying to their kids, they just want you to be happy. It's kind of like the adult, like everybody thinks that's like, it's not even a big deal. But Christian, listen to me, it is a big deal. Your goal for your kids should be much higher than their happiness. It should be their holiness. Think about them. You want them to please Jesus, not themselves, right? You want them to follow Him, not the crowd, right? You want them to make Him happy, not themselves, not you, not anybody else. You want them to live for happiness unless they're finding their happiness, their joy in Christ. Be more concerned about their happiness than their holiness. Number four, be more concerned with their submission than their self-expression. be more concerned with their submission than their self-expression. We've already seen this. In Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3, the issue there was submission to God's will. Submission to the Christian father's will when what he wants is God's will. But our culture is awash in be yourself, follow your heart, do whatever you feel if it makes you happy. Listen, it can be bad. It can be super bad. All of that will lead to disaster. It should never cross the lips of a Christian. I just want you to be happy. No, I just want you to be yourself. I want you to follow your heart. No. I want you to follow the scriptures. I want you to follow Christ. Though it'll cause you a lot of trouble and it'll cause them a fair bit of pain, the goal should be obedience without challenging, without questioning, and without delay. Maybe this is helpful, but my kids, we say, my wife made up this thing, listen and obey, first time, right away. Do they hear that constantly? Do that with your teachers, do that with mom and dad, do that with the babysitter, do that with grandma and grandpa, listen and obey, first time, right away. Why? Because that's what God wants from us. Yes, He knows that we're sinners, He knows that we're weak, but that's the standard, first time, right away, no challenging, no debating, no questioning, no delaying. And it's funny, you know, like, I don't know for your kids, my kids, one of the first words they learned was mine, right? And that's funny and it's cute and all that, but that has to be resisted. That has to be resisted. Because the issue at the core of self-expression is rebellion against God. And you've got to help them see that they live in God's world. That all of the things that God's Word says to us about how to live our lives was given to us for our good because He loves us. not to harm us. It's the lie of the serpent that says, no, all of those things, all of those rules, that's meant to keep you from happiness. No, it's just the opposite of that. We've got to help them see that everything God says, that when we submit to what he says, it is for their good, out of love for them. This means that for a long time in their early years, you should be doing the thinking for them, making decisions for them, helping them understand like we make decisions in line with God's word because God is real. Jesus is alive and we follow him. Well, you know, we got to teach them how to make their own decisions. And how are they going to do that unless they make their own decisions? No, this is how they're going to learn to do that, by watching you make decisions and hearing your reasoning for, no, honey, we're going to do this because we follow Jesus. No, we're going to do this because this is wise. No, we're going to do this because this is what the Bible says. That's why we do this. And you're showing them how to make good decisions by your example. not letting them go and say, hey, figure this out. When we let them just figure it out, what we're saying is that the answers are inside of you, so just try to figure out what seems best to you, and then do whatever you want. That's paganism, that's not Christianity. We don't figure out whatever we want to do and then go do that. No, we find out from God's Word what He tells us to do, and then we go do that. So I'm kind of fired up about this. But it's because this This issue impacts so much from our homes, our parenting, the next generation, the next generation after that. And God didn't just leave us to try to like figure it out, you know, guys, go for it. You know, you're smart, you'll do it. And we gave it to you all right here and said, okay, let's do this. So what we're doing right now is we're taking theology and we're bringing it down into parenting. So number five, be more concerned with truth and tolerance. Be more concerned with truth and tolerance. Your kids need to know that God is real. The universe had a beginning. The Bible is the authority. Sin is their problem. Jesus is the solution. Heaven and hell are real. Human beings are eternal. They need to know that. They to live their lives as they go out into the world with those filters, that grid that helps them understand everything in light of that so that when they're watching a movie, when they're in a classroom, when they're talking to a friend, that those truths are filtering the good stuff and getting rid of the bad stuff. If we're wishy-washy on truth, if it's like, you know, if we're devoted to the idea that there is no truth and, you know, there is no right and wrong and follow your heart and do whatever makes you feel right, again, that's not Christianity, that's pagan. Give your kids firm, immovable truths that you live by that will give some kind of foundation to their hearts, that'll be an anchor for their souls when things are going poorly, when things aren't going right, when things are falling apart, and these truths that will also sweeten their lives when things are going well. So that means make sure they're aware of the Bible. Make sure that you're reading the Bible to them. Maybe like small portions, like do what I do with us every Sunday. Do that with them. So what I do is I read a portion and then I pray based on that portion. So today we read John 3 and I prayed for people to be born again. You know, like that. So read that passage and then pray, Jesus, You say that we must be born again to go to heaven. Jesus, give these kids spiritual life. Give them a desire to be born again. Amen. That's it. This isn't rocket science. We make things so much harder than it needs to be when it really could be that simple. Make sure you're reading it to them. Start as early as possible. Like we have a little one-year-old Bible for our kiddos, for Emma, and she's often like pushes that away and wants goodnight moon. But it's like, no, like come back, like we're gonna read this little three sentences just to try to put this into your head, these biblical concepts and ideas so that she lives her life knowing that God is real. Number six, be more concerned about your, about, Be more concerned about being their example than you are about entertaining them. Be more concerned about being their example than than entertaining them. See, they're gonna pick up on your voice inflections. You know that, right? Your voice inflections, your mannerisms, your sense of humor, your passions. You are modeling for them how to do just about everything. How you treat your parents is how they're gonna treat you. How much you care about some sports team or some movie or food or some political party is how, in many ways, is how much they're gonna care about it too. I remember watching Green Bay Packers games when I'm single digits with my dad. And so now there's this affinity for that team. You know, forgive me Cardinals fans. There's the, I remember watching the Dodgers when I was in single digits. So again, like I know you hate me even more now, but like that's my grandpa's fault. It's not mine. You know? I remember being in the car and listening to my mom listen to Neil Diamond and Billy Joel and like, so I hear that stuff and it's, oh, I remember it takes me back to five years old. So all of these things like you, you are, you are shaping your children. And here's the thing, how important Jesus is to you will be how important he is to them. Now, I'm not taking away that they make their own choices and all of that. I'm saying in general, you set the tone for whether or not they think this whole thing is important. Whether they think it's worth doing every Sunday morning and reading and praying and thinking and living for Jesus. If it's not important to you, it's not gonna be important to them. You are modeling for your kids what they're gonna become in so many ways, in so many, so many ways. It's not like a hard and fast rule, obviously. But in a lot of ways, that's our example. Number seven, be more concerned that they know you love them than that you are liked by them. Be more concerned that they know you love them than that you are liked by them. Your kids need a mom and dad, not another pal. Right? Like that's the idea. Love should be your goal in all of your interaction. There should be kindness and patience and gentleness and sympathy that those are the things that connect to their hearts. No one, we bought this piece of furniture off of a website this week, and so I went to go pick it up and started talking to this guy, and he started talking about his kids, and he's like, yeah, and I've never yelled at my kids once. And I remember thinking, one, like, do you walk on water? But number two, but number two, I was thinking, I was thinking, yeah, you know, you're right. I can't remember a time when I was yelled at and then thought, well, thank you so much for that. I'm now going to change my entire life now that you've just spit all over me in anger. Like, thank you for that. Let them know that you love them. That is a strength, not a weakness. Let them know that you have their absolute best in mind, especially when you're punishing them, that it's for their future good. Speak truth, yes, but do it in love. One pastor put it this way. He says, love is the greatest secret to successful parenting. Love is the greatest secret to successful parenting. And I thought about, like, why would he say that? And here's my reason for why. Why would that be? I think it's because you are no more like God the Father than when you love your kids. In a lot of ways, dads. In fact, I don't think you can tell your kids you love them too much. And the reason is this. I think James 1 17 says that every good and perfect gift comes from God. So you think about every good thing that you have ever experienced, all of it. was given to you from God, okay? So that you, your ears work, your eyes work, that you have an education, that you have a car, that you can taste food, like down, like you breathe, like down to the deepest things, the greatest things, all of the good things, therefore, are an expression of God's love for you. Well, let me ask you, how many good things are you experiencing today? Just like two or three? A handful? Aren't there like hundreds of things every day that you're going, this is good, this is, if you're really thinking about it, you would realize you are surrounded constantly by good, and if that's true, then all of that is from God, all of that is an expression of God's love for you, which means that he is constantly saying, I love you, my child, I love you, my child, in every good thing that you experience. So if he's constantly saying to us, which I think he is, I love you, my child, I love you, then you can't say I love you to your kids too much. So like God, exercise loving authority over your children, not so that they will accomplish what you want, but so that you will woo them to live for what God wants, that you will show them that God is wonderful, he's beautiful, he's given us all these good things. I mean, the response to this would just be love for him. So in my life, I've met a lot of people who are concerned about a lot of things. So, concerned about lost people, concerned about being a pastor, concerned about getting a job, getting educated, getting married, losing weight, all kinds of things that people have been concerned about, but many of them did nothing about it. So there's all this concern, but never talked to lost people. All this concern, but never looked for a job. All this concern, never went to school, and on and on and on and on. Listen parents, we can have all these concerns and that's good, but the idea is that these theological realities will be fleshed out in real life. And so this last point on your notes then is action. These concerns therefore must lead to point number three, the call. The call, what does God expect Christian parents, especially Christian fathers, who are to lead your home, the spiritual leaders of your homes, what does God expect us to do? Number one, he expects us to constantly teach our kids. So point number one, constantly teach your kids. So the first call, constantly teach your kids, turn to Deuteronomy chapter six. Deuteronomy chapter six, classic text on this. If you got a Bible from an usher, it's page 168. Don't you wish you all had those Bible from the ushers? Then you just could follow that along. Deuteronomy chapter six, page 168. And when you're there, drop down to verse six. So he's speaking to this group of people who are between the ages of 20 and 60 at this point, and a couple are even older than that. Joshua and Caleb. And he's speaking to them and he's saying, okay, here's what you're supposed to do with these words. Look at verse six. And these words for us, it would be the Bible. These words, what I command you today shall be on your heart. That doesn't mean you should feel good about them, like, oh, I like the Bible. No. What that means is, is that they should be in the center, the core of who you are. It should be the very center of your life. It should be the dominating ruling force of your life, should be these words, the Bible. They should be on your heart. And what should you do with them? Verse six, you shall teach them diligently to your children. Maybe instead of constantly, I should have put the word diligently. Teach them diligently to your children. What? Teach these words, teach this book. Well, how? Are you supposed to set up a school and a desk and a whiteboard and pencils and paper and all of that? No, look at what it says. It says the whole world is your classroom. You shall talk of them, talk of these truths when you sit down in your house. So when you're eating a meal, when you're watching TV, when you're playing in the backyard, you're talking about these things. When you sit in your house and when you walk, by the way, when you're out and about in the world, when you're in the car and you're driving around, when you're walking down the street, well, you don't do that in the summertime, but you know, when you're out and about in the world, you talk about them. And when you lie down, when you go to sleep, you talk about it. And when you rise up, when you wake up, you're talking. There's a constant flow of the Bible. God, Christ. So let's read them the Bible. Let's get them to know, like for my kids, I want them to know the Bible. And so we read the Bible together and I want them to love the Bible. So I do this. I had a mentor tell me to do this. He said, what I did when my kids were young is I would hug the Bible. I would hug it and I would say, Don't we love the Bible? Don't we love the Bible in our home?" And the kids were like, yes. And then he says, you should kiss it. So I was like, kiss the Bible. And then my kids want to kiss it. Kids want to kiss the Bible. Oh, can I kiss it, daddy? And then my son's like, hey, but you can't kiss my Bible. You just kiss your Bible. You know, like. We want our kids to know that this is not some intellectual thing. This isn't some club that we're a part of, but this is our lives because Christ is in our hearts. His word is in our hearts and it's coming out of us. And I want you, and so there's, so there's that. Number two, intentionally train your kids. Intentionally train your kids. That this is something that should be on your mind. My intention is to train them. And I want you to see this, Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter 6, page 1082. Paul is describing what a spirit-filled family looks like, a family under the control of God the Holy Spirit. What will it look like? Well, chapter 6, verse 1, he begins to describe, he says, in the Christian home, it says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. This is Colin and Ava's first memory verse. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. You're like, wow, that's weird. John 3 16 was the second one. Okay, but the first one was this one number to honor your father and mother This is the first commandment with a promise So verse 2 is kind of a restatement of verse 1 verse 2 is the attitude verse 1 is the action the attitude is honor your parents the action is obey them and But notice, why should kids be trained to obey their parents? Well, verse two, it's a commandment. So God tells them to, and that's a pretty good reason. Number two, they should obey their parents because it's right. You see that in verse one, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. It's the right thing to do. Verse number three, honor your father and mother that it may go well with you. The third reason why they should obey their parents is because it will lead to a good life. How many of you want your kids to have a bad life? Anybody? You need counseling, like we need to talk. Right, but nobody wants their kid to have a bad life. All of us want our kids to have a good life. Well, this passage says, this is the first commandment with the promise. What's the promise? Verse three, that it may go well with them and it may go well with you. You want your kids to have a good life, train them to obey. And then the fourth reason why you should train them to obey is the end of verse three, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Again, how many of you want your kids to have a short life? Anybody? No? Good, glad to see that. Long life, good life. God says, this is what it looks like. Teach them to obey. Paul Tripp, in the book Shepherding a Child's Heart, calls it the circle of blessing. That you want your kid to live in the circle of blessing, and how that happens is through obedience. And when they disobey, they leave the circle of blessing, and they need to repent. They need to confess that to get back in the circle of blessing, because in that circle is long life and good life. Now, that's not like laws of the Medes and Persians. That's not, well, if they obey, then it is guaranteed that they will live a long life. That this is not guarantees. These are general truths. In general, your kid will have a good life if they're obeying God because it will protect them from the craziness that happens in disobedience. And they will have a long life because it will protect them from the craziness that comes from disobedience. Now notice the special word to dads in verse four. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Don't poke them. Don't incite them. Don't mock them. Don't tease them. Like you're egging them on to try to punch you or something. He's like, don't do that. Don't be harsh with them. Don't crush them. Don't use anger and fear to manipulate them. But he says, notice, but instead of that, don't do that. Put off, put on, bring them up. in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That word discipline means training, instruction, and the idea that you're training them to order their lives according to God's word. And then that word translated here, instruction, is a word that means counsel or correction. And with the instruction and the counsel, the correction and the training coming together to shape their lives, that's the intentional training that we're to give our kids. And then finally, lovingly discipline your kids. Number three, lovingly discipline your kids. And for this, all the kids are like, oh, I hate that pastor up there right now. Proverbs chapter 13, Proverbs 13, page 598, 598 in those blue Bibles. Proverbs 13, 24. 1324, whoever spares the rod hates his son. Wait a minute, I thought if I spared the rod, I love my son. Well, that's what Dr. Phil says. Well, listen, either the culture is right and the Bible is wrong, or the Bible is right and the culture is wrong. So. Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Diligent discipline is an expression of love for your child. I give you a whole bunch of other passages in the Proverbs to look at. I just wanna take you to one more. Turn to Proverbs 29. Proverbs 29. And drop down to verse 15. Proverbs 29, 15, the rod and reproof give wisdom. That when a child experiences the pain of disobedience and they experience the correction, the reproof that comes from you, notice what it says there. It imparts wisdom. Now the second half of the verse is the opposite of that. So when they aren't disciplined, notice, but a child left to himself, does whatever he wants, no consequences, no reproof, no discipline at all. A child left to himself brings shame on his mother. Oh, I just want him to think for himself and make his own decisions. The Bible says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bring discipline into their life and they will not be ashamed to you. Drop down to verse 17, discipline your son and he will give you rest. There are a lot of parents who struggle needlessly, who have no rest because they refuse to discipline. Or it's the, give one more, two, I'm gonna count to three. No, remember, what that teaches them is that I don't have to obey until they're serious. And before that, what they say to me is not serious. That's why I said before, listen and obey first time right away. Well, why? Verse 17, discipline your son and he will give you rest. He will give delight to your heart. We want our kids to be a delightful experience to us. Well, how do we have that? Bible says, discipline. Let's turn to one more passage. Turn to Hebrews chapter 11. Hebrews 11, page 1111. So Hebrews 12, page 1111 in those blue Bibles. I give you the passages on your notes so you can go back at another time and read all the passages and see, is what pastor's saying, is that biblical or not? Is there something else that God is saying that really kind of turns this upside down or was this really biblical? Well, Hebrews chapter 12 is talking about the discipline of the Lord on His disobedient children and how there's a parallel between God's discipline of us and our discipline of our kids. And it's in verses 5 to 11, and I'm not going to read them all, but I'm just going to say this. In verse 5, discipline is an expression of love for your kids. We've already seen that. Verse 7, discipline is assumed to be good. It's assumed that it's the right thing to do. It's just the assumption of the Bible that loving parents discipline their kids. In verse 8, discipline withheld is hatred for your kids. If you are left without discipline, it says, in which we've all participated, then we are illegitimate children and not sons. Verse 9, discipline leads to respect. Verse 10, discipline is to be for their good. Verse 10 again, discipline leads to holiness. Verse 11, discipline will train them to do what's right. Look at verse 11. For at the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant. But later, that discipline yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. What does that mean? It means that their lives will be peaceful because they are living according to what's right. They're not going into sin and evil and error and wickedness because they've been trained through discipline to do what's right. And as a result of that, their lives are marked by peace. Notice to those who have been trained by it, trained by what? Trained by discipline. So never discipline them in anger, never discipline them harshly. Don't be like Eli, though, who knew that their kids were doing his kids were doing evil and did not correct them. Now, let me just end by saying this dad's. to answer this call, to accept this responsibility. You must refuse to be passive. You must refuse this float through life from work to car to easy chair, or work to car to office, or work to car to garage, work to car to man cave. Don't leave this burden for training and teaching and disciplining and being an example to your kids. Don't just leave that on the shoulders of your wife. Answer the call. Do God's will. Lead your home. If you're like, gosh, I just don't know how to do that. I put books on the back. We have a connect card. You could write me with a pastor and you could get some practical ideas for this. We're here to help you. That's why we're here. We'd love to. So be an influential father, a father that influences your kids to Christ so that they would give their lives to Him because they see what it looks like to live for Him in your life. Influence them to obey Him because they see you obeying Him. Influence them to follow Him because you follow Him. And one last thing. Some kids in this room, you may need to repent. Because you've been making your parents' lives hell. You need to get back in the circle of blessing or those punishments are over your head. And I don't say that, oh, scary pastor. No, I'm scaring you with the truth. God sees everything. He knows everything. That's not to scare you and threaten you and all of that stuff. It's to say what is best for you is to live according to God's word. Submit to your parents. They love you. They want what's best for you. mostly. If you have bad parents that are like telling you to do drugs or other crazy stuff, I'm not telling you to do that. And you're like, oh pastor, that's kind of crazy. No, that happens. It really does. But there is a call here for all of us parents. to give the kind of influence to our kids that honors God, that will make your family strong. It's the kind of influence your kids need most because it's the kind of influence that Jesus is doing in our lives, right? Let's pray.