Good morning. So as we continue our study through the book of Proverbs, today we come to the topic of anger. I don't know about you, but I experience anger. Anger is an emotion I think we all, at one point in our lives, deal with. In some cases, often, we deal with this emotion of anger. So I thought it would be helpful for us to look at God's word and try to understand what is the correct response to anger? How do we properly respond to anger when that emotion stirs up within us? So as we begin our study, let's look at some contrasts. As oftentimes we see in the book of Proverbs, God gives us contrasts. Here we see in Proverbs chapter 14, verse 29, It says, whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. And then I would also just note in Proverbs 14, 17, the first part also talks about someone who has a quick temper. And that person is described as someone that acts foolishly. So I think first as we look at this, you notice the Proverbs aren't saying, Here's a contrast between someone who has no anger and someone who has anger. The contrast isn't that. The contrast is between the speed by which we rise to anger. How fast does anger rise up within us? You notice it says, there's a contrast, there's those who are slow and those who are hasty. And as we look at this, there is a connection between the speed the speed by which we come to anger, and then what is the action that results from that. It says here, if you're hasty, if you have a quick temper, you're going to tend to act foolishly. It's an important point to remember. If you remember nothing else, Oftentimes, when you're quick to anger, you're going to act foolishly. But in the Converse, it says, if you're slow to anger, you have great understanding. So again, we have that, as Bob says, in Proverbs. Oftentimes, there's the two paths. There's the path of the wise, the path of the fool. There's the contrast between wisdom and folly. So I thought it might be helpful to look at examples. So we're going to look at lots of examples today. I hope you're ready to look at different examples in God's Word. If you would turn with me to 2 Kings chapter 5. 2 Kings chapter 5. And this is the story of Naaman. I think we're all familiar with the story of Naaman. Naaman was a commander of the army of Syria. He was a great man. But he had an issue. He had a problem. His problem was he was a leper. And in God's providence, on one of the raids, as you know, Naaman had captured a young girl, brought her home. She was a servant. And she said, oh, that there would be a prophet who was in Samaria. He would cure him of his leprosy. So Naaman wants to be cured of his leprosy. Obviously, he goes to the king of Syria, who gives him letters, and he goes to the king of Israel and says, I've come to be cured. Now, as Naaman is going there, think about this for just a moment. You're going to your enemy in a way, right? Syria and Israel are not friends. He's going to his enemy. He's being very bold, he's being very brave in going there. He's a man of courage. And when he goes, he takes with him ten talents of silver. 6,000 shekels of gold and 10 changes of clothes. He's ready to pay whatever he has to to get this cure. He's ready to do whatever he has to. If he has to go to the enemy, he's ready to do it. So just keep that in mind as you think about this story of Naaman. He's ready to do whatever it takes to be cured. Well, coming down then, so we see him coming to Elisha. And if you skip down to verse 9, you see, So Naaman came with his horses, his chariots, and stood at the door of Elisha's house. And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored, and you shall be clean. Now, what's Naaman's response? We read here, But Naaman was angry and went away saying, Behold, I thought he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the Lord his God and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper. And as he's skipping down, he then jumps down and says, So he turned and went away in a rage. He was so angry. The cure for his leprosy. The cure, he was willing to do anything. Go to his enemy, bring all this money, do all these things, I'm ready to do it. But because of his rage, what does he do? He acts foolishly. He goes away. Doesn't even try to do what he is told in the cure. So we can see that rage, anger, if you're hasty, you can act foolishly. But, Thankfully for him, he has a servant. And going on, his servant says to him, he draws near and he says in verse 13, my father, it is a great word the prophet has spoken to you. Will you not do it? He asked you to do a great thing. Wouldn't you do it? And then he says, has he actually said to you, wash and be clean? Thankfully, the servant speaks to him in a calm tone speaks to him and says, wait a minute, slow down a second. Stop. Think about this for a moment. Don't be hasty to anger. Did he actually just say, go wash? That's all it is. Think about it. Why wouldn't you do this? So here we have, if he was slow to anger and he actually took some time to think about the issue, think about what is really going on, he would realize that, hey, Why not? I would use my understanding, I would go ahead and wash. Now I just have to make this point. Think about Naaman for a second. What was the root cause? What was the issue at hand? Why did he really react that way? And I'd suggest to you it's his pride. He's ready to do whatever because, hey, I get the glory. He wants to get a little glory for himself. He doesn't want to give glory to someone else. He doesn't want to give... I mean, Elisha doesn't even want to have glory given to him. He just sends a messenger. The glory goes to God in this cure. Naaman wanted some glory for himself. And until he was able to see that and, in effect, repent of it, then he was able to move forward and not act foolishly. So this is an example of how anger, and how fast we are to anger, and what our actions are, can affect us. So anger can affect you personally. But anger can also affect others. Anger can affect others. A hot-tempered man stirs up strife. This is Proverbs 15, 18. Proverbs 15, 18 says, A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. Again, we see the contrast is the speed. Someone who's fast to anger, someone who's slow to anger. And you see that the anger then results in action. And it's stirring up. It's stirring up strife. And here, in Proverbs 29, 22, we see then that wrath stirs up strife. And what does it lead to? It leads to transgression. It leads to sin. So we have a triggering event. We have the anger. We're doing it fast. It stirs up wrath, and then it can lead to transgression. So, let's look at an example. Turn with me to Acts chapter 19. Acts chapter 19. In Acts chapter 19, this is at Ephesus. I'll just pick up the reading for the sake of time. I'll pick it up in verse 24. So Demetrius, he's a silversmith. He made silver shrines for Artemis. And he goes to his other craftsmen and he says to them, men, you know that from this business we have our wealth. So making shrines is how they make their money. That's how they make their wealth. And he goes on and says, and you see it here, not only in Ephesus, but in almost all of Asia. This Paul has persuaded and turned away a great many people saying that gods made with hands are not gods. And there is danger, not only for this trade. I mean, the real issue is he's worried about his money. He's worried about his wealth. What goes on, and then he gets them stirred up, and then they, when they heard this, in verse, skipping down to verse 28, when they heard this, they were enraged. So we get the anger stirring up in them. And then they go on, and they're crying out, Great is Artemis of the Ephesians. And so the city was filled with confusion. How often do you see strife and people getting enraged, and then it has a rippling effect Don't we see it in the news? You know, people get angry, and one person is yelling, and they're angry, and another person is yelling, and it gets people stirred up. The anger is stirring up strife. And he's skipping down in verse 32. You can see that this is confusion. It's like, now they cried out one thing, and some another. I mean, there's just confusion. It's not even that they really... I don't think they really know what they're upset about. But it just stirs them all up, and this anger just starts boiling up. becomes almost a riot, and it can lead to, they're ready to grab people and do harm to people. But thankfully, thankfully, in this example, we have someone who is slow to anger, someone who can think about what's going on. Verse 35 says, and when the town clerk had quieted the crowd, So he quiets them down, and he speaks to the men of Ephesus, who is there who does not know that the city of the Ephesians is temple keeper of the great Artemis. So he's speaking to them to deal with the issue at hand that they've been yelling about, but just skipping down, seeing then that these things cannot be denied. You ought to be quiet and do nothing rash. Someone who is slow to anger quiets contention. So here he is. The town clerk is quieting contention. He's telling them then, if Demetrius and the craftsmen have a complaint, the courts are open, let them bring the charges against one another. And then skipping down, it says, for we really are in danger of being charged with rioting today. There is no cause to justify this commotion. And he dismisses them. So, we have a contrast. We have the man that wants to stir it up. He stirs it up with others and then they start stirring it up with other people. Next thing you know, it can all lead to a riot and everybody gets out of control. It can lead to much transgression. And then you have the contrast of someone that's slow, speaks logically, with understanding, calms them down, quiets that contention. So, How do you respond to anger? What are important ways to respond to anger? Well, as we already saw, we have in the example of Naaman's servant, he spoke softly. He went to his master and said, Master, my father, he spoke softly. And we see in Proverbs, a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. anger, that emotion, all these things, oftentimes the response, it can get started with words. And the words that we use are so important, because the words we use, if they're harsh words, it can stir it up. It's like fanning the flames of a fire, and then that wrath is kindled, the anger is burning inside, you hear those terms a lot, it's burning, kindling of wrath, and so you fan the flames with the wrong words, and now the fire gets out of control and the anger just rushes off. But the soft answer, that can turn away wrath. So it's important for us, when we're dealing with someone where there's anger, that we have to be careful to use a soft answer. The world will tell us to get even, to return one insult by another, but the Christian needs to be above this. And 1 Peter 3.9, it says, do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless for this... For to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing." We need to have a different response than the world. The world's going to want to go back, back and forth. Hey, you said something. I'm going to say something. Next thing, it goes out of control. We as Christians, we need to have a different response. We have to have a different way of dealing with those issues of anger. And if somebody says something to us, don't return evil for evil. We have to have a soft answer. Keep it calm. But then also we see here in Proverbs 19, 11, good sense makes one slow to anger. It is his glory to overlook an offense. An interval between the inward rising of anger and the outward manifestation of the anger is most important. Mindful of his own infirmity, he will guard against indecent sallies of temper, taking time to weigh and carefully not to overcharge the offense. How many have said, I'm going to count to 10? Well, did you know Augustus, under the impulse of anger, was requested to repeat the alphabet to give him time to cool off? We might count 10, he needed 26. But still, the point is, slow to anger. Have time to cool. Have time to think about the issue. Give yourself time to have understanding. Just like the clerk, he was calm, he was slow. And at times, you should just overlook the matter. Think about it. What's giving rise to this? Is it really that big a deal? We've gone through the book The Peacemaker. I think the ladies have as well. I mean, one of the things when you're faced with these conflicts, sometimes the right response is just to overlook it. So the importance of self-control. Proverbs 25, 28 says, A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. In the old days, cities were surrounded by walls to defend themselves. Likewise, we need to defend our hearts. We have to have those walls built around us so that we do not leave ourselves vulnerable. Do not let anger control you. You need to control anger. Self-control. Controlling anger. Let's look at an example of someone who doesn't do a very good job at this. Saul. If we would look at 1 Samuel 18, verse I Samuel 18, verses 6-11. Let's just pick it up in verse 6. So this is when David and the armies are returning after the battle with the Philistines. David had killed Goliath. They were victorious. And as they're coming into the city, the women came out. of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. And the women sang to one another as they celebrated. Saul is struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands." But how did Saul react to this? Verse 8, And Saul was very angry. He was displeased. The issue here is a pride issue. David gets 10,000, I only get 1,000. His pride, that's the issue here. And just like having a wall around his heart, this anger issue, this pride issue is just sort of peeling away the wall, so now his defenses are not there. He's not ready to defend his heart. And the next day, a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house while David was playing the liar. The spirit comes upon him, his walls are broken down, the spirit of anger comes in, it rushes upon him, it takes control. Saul has no control here. It takes control of him. And what is his response? He has a javelin, a spear next to him, and he hurls it at David. What a reaction. Here's a man who just helped you defeat the Philistines. And because my pride is kind of hurt, and I don't control my anger, I'm ready to throw a spear at him and kill him. It's just not logical. Anger, when it's out of control, it leaves you broken down. You're vulnerable to sin. And you notice, Saul is a mighty man. He killed thousands. But you can be a mighty man, but if you're not a mighty man in controlling your anger, then you're missing out. Someone who rules his spirit is greater than the one that takes the city. The man that is able to control his anger is greater than the mighty warrior, because otherwise you're going to leave yourself vulnerable to sin. Anger must be controlled. Do not allow anger to control you. So, anger. Does anger sin? Does anger sin? No. Right. Be angry and do not sin. You can be angry and not sin. But be careful. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Because as we see, it can leave you with an opportunity to the devil to come in and attack you. Jay Adams. Any of you struggling with anger? Besides the Proverbs, there's a little book, You Can Defeat Anger, by Jay Adams. Alright, so I borrowed this diagram, I kind of modified it a bit. But essentially, it starts with a problem. Something is a triggering event. Some problem is coming up. That problem will lead to anger. And this is where the important action happens. Now, some of us will go down this path and blow up. Yeah? So your reaction is you blow up. Let's turn to 1 Samuel 20. King Saul is a great example of improper responses to anger. 1 Samuel 20. David is not showing up to sit at the table at the new moon. Saul wants to know why he's not there at the king's table. And then in verse 30 it says, Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan. It's his son, right? We all remember, Jonathan is his son. And he said to him, now, how does the anger begin here? It begins with words. You son of a perverse, rebellious woman, do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother's nakedness? So the anger begins, his reaction, it starts out coming down through here, And it starts out with a ventilation of words. Now, despite Jonathan's attempt to try to answer his father, just to try to understand what is it that David has done, but you see in verse 33, but Saul hurled his spear to strike him. The words progressed. And then it manifested itself in actions Actions that are incredibly illogical. If you look back, you see that one of his reasons for being angry, at least Saul says, for as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. So he's telling Jesse, I'm concerned about you and your kingdom. But then he picks up the spear and hurls it at him. How illogical is that? He's really, the real issue, the problem here, is his own pride and his inability to deal with God's sovereign decree that he would no longer have the kingdom. In 1 Samuel 13, verses 13 and 14, Samuel came to him and said to him, told him that his kingdom would not continue. It was because of his sin. His sin resulted in him losing his kingdom. And that is the root issue here. And he's just angry about that. He is not going to submit. He's fighting against God here. And he's fighting against David. It doesn't matter who it is. Theological actions of this is just incredible. He'll stop. He'll lash out at anyone. Blowing up. All of his energies. Everybody. Blowing up at everybody. So that's this side. But what about this side? Clamming up. Do people ever clam up? Let's turn to Jonah. Jonah chapter 4. As you know, Jonah was told to go to Nineveh. He didn't want to. He didn't like the Ninevites. He wanted God's judgment against them. He didn't want to go, but as we know, he eventually went. He went through the city. He proclaimed, yet 40 days, and none of us shall be overthrown. And as you know, the people repented. How did Jonah respond to this? Well, in verse 1 of chapter 4, it said, It displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. He was angry. It didn't go the way he wanted. He wanted judgment against the Ninevites. And then later on in verse 5, you see Jonah goes out of the city and he sits down east of the city and made a booth for himself there. And he sat there in the shade till he should see what would become of the city. Deep down inside he's hoping, well maybe still God will judge them. And he's sitting down in a huff. I'm not happy. I'm going to sit here. And he's just clamming up. So Jonah, he clams up. Later on, as you know, there was the plant that God appointed to give him shade, and later on, he sent the worm to die, and then Jonah got angry about that. And then God eventually talks to him and he says, but God said to Jonah, do you do well to be angry for the plant? And he said, yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die. Angry enough to die because of a plant. The root issue is deep down inside, because he didn't get his way. God is going to show mercy. He's showing mercy to the city of Nineveh. Trying to show the contrast between God, who has mercy and compassion, and Jonah. He had no mercy, no compassion for these people. He wanted judgment. But he bounded up inside of them. Alright, let's look at that chart. Where do you fall on this chart? Men? I bet you most of us will come over here. We blow up. Now, not to be kind of stereotypical, but ladies, where do you tend to show up on this? I bet you a lot of you will come over here. How many times Will you clam up? Now, man, we know when we get angry. I mean, you see it. But a lot of times the ladies will be quiet. Clamming up. Maybe the silent treatment. But that's not the correct way to deal with anger either. Clamming up is not the correct way to deal with it. Now, I will say, it's good to give some time. We see. Slow to anger. Give some time, but you still need to deal with the problem. So, what do we do? God gives us these energies of anger. We need to now take those angers and redirect them back to the problem. In J. Adams' book, he talks about that. The anger needs to be productively released and controlled toward the problem. Controlled. So perhaps, it's a soft answer. Perhaps it's overlooking the offense. I have to say, I kind of struggled to find an example in our Bible of someone that did this right, other than our Lord. But let's turn to Nehemiah. Nehemiah chapter 13. It's the last chapter of Nehemiah. Now, Nehemiah had been away. And while he was gone, Eliashib, I think I've got that pronounced correctly, he was the priest and he was related to Tobiah. And he allowed Tobiah to use a chamber in God's house. So he basically took out the vessels of God and brought in his furniture and he's using God's house as a place, I guess, to live. So in verse 6, while this was taking place, I was not in Jerusalem. So he wasn't there. Nehemiah wasn't there. But when he came back, and after some time I asked leave of the king and came to Jerusalem. That's in verse 7. And then I discovered the evil that Eliashib had done for Tobiah, preparing for him a chamber in the courts of the house of God. This was sin. This was against God's glory, a sin against God's house. And I was very angry. His issue was he had righteous anger. He was upset because God's glory was not being honored by the high priest. And he allowed this Tobiah to come in and take out the things of God and put in his furniture and sit there. So how does Nehemiah react and I threw all the household furniture to buy out of the chamber and then I gave orders and they cleansed the chambers and I brought back there the vessels of the house of God with the grain offering and the frankincense I just use this as an example to say there are times he sees the issue. He's angry and He uses that anger to release it and deal with the problem. The problem, instead of just getting angry, he deals with the problem and he cleanses the house and it's a righteous anger. So you can have righteous anger. You can have righteous anger. Now, we're not all in a position of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was one of the leaders. So, sometimes we're in a situation and a problem happens and we get angry about that issue. But I can't do anything about it. We're still to be slow to anger, slow to speak, and as we learned from Henry's lesson and James, quick to hear. We need to look to God's Word to understand how do we deal with anger. How do we deal with this issue? And in some cases, we need to just turn it over to God. You can't deal with it yourself. You can't solve the problem. But you still aren't supposed to blow up. If you just clam up and keep it inside. God has given His ear that's open to your cry. He calls you to speak to Him, to cry out, to give it over to God. Turn to Psalm 37. We see a lot of evil in our day. We see a lot of the evil that's happening. We get upset about it. But, in Psalm 37, I'll just, for the sake of time, pick this up in verse 5. It says, He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Sometimes we just have to be still and wait. Fret not. Don't let it just stir up inside of you. Don't clam up and fret and get angry. Fret not yourself over the One who prospers in His way, over the man who carries out evil. And then in verse 8 it says, refrain from anger. Forsake wrath. Threat not yourself, it tends only to evil. So, there's just times, yeah, I'd like to be in Nehemiah's case. I'd love to be able to, there's an issue, there's the problem, I channel, get my anger under control, focus it back on the problem, solve the problem. If you can do that, do it. But in some cases you just cannot. So, God is there, pray to Him, give it over to Him, but give it over to Him. You've got to let it go. Sometimes you can't do it. If you just climb up and let it stay inside. The reason I put the little red arrow there is that there's going to be a day that's going to blow. So I would suggest that you need to be ready to perhaps just cover the sin. And you know, don't we need to be like God? The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. How often have you given God reason to be angry with you? Countless times. We sin countlessly. Thankfully, we have a God who is slow to anger. He doesn't react. He doesn't judge us. But, God understands what the issue is. The issue is our sin. And He responds by steadfast love. His steadfast love in sending His Son to die for our sin. That was His response. If He can forgive us for our sin, should we not be able to overlook others? who sin us in just a minor way? Let us be ready to follow God's example. Well, in closing, just a couple of reminders as we wrap up. The need for self-control. Just remember, anger is an emotion. We're all going to experience it. As I've been going through this lesson, I can't tell you how many times I'm reading through this in the morning, trying to get ready for this, going into work, and there it is. I've got to deal with this. I have to exercise self-control. I must confess, I'm not always... Sometimes I need to keep working on this. Maybe that's why God gave me this lesson. We need self-control. We must control anger, as I said. Remember this, do not let anger control you. Next, seek to be slow to anger. Slow. If you've got to count to 10, you've got to count to 26. Say the alphabet. Count down from 100. You know your own heart. Be slow to anger. And while you're being slow to anger, you need to use that time to understand the why. Why are you angry? What's giving rise to that anger? I'd say to you that sometimes it's because of us. It's because of self. And you know what? During that time, you're angry, think about it a little bit and say, you know, maybe it's my own issue here. And if it is, repent. Repent of that sin. Deal with that problem. That's how you'd respond. Maybe it's a minor issue, as we've heard. You look at it, say, look, no, I might have just overlooked that. It's not worth it. It's not worth getting angry over. Maybe it's something you can deal with. Then deal with it. Maybe it's something where you have to respond to the person to deal with that issue. But when you're doing that response, make sure you remember a soft answer. turns away wrath. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Deal with it in an efficient timeline. Make sure you get it taken care of. Don't let it just stir up and boil underneath there. Deal with the problem that's causing the anger. So during that time, seek to deal with that and then, as I said at the end, remember God's example. So may God even give us help to deal with anger as it comes up even this week, I'm sure. Our God and Father, we bow before You, Lord, and we're so thankful that You are a gracious and merciful God, a God who is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. God, we confess that we are sinners, that we have given You so often so many reasons to be angry with us, so many reasons to judge us, But yet, in your mercy, you sent your Son, and we thank you for Christ, and we thank you for the forgiveness we have. We pray, Father, that we might even seek to imitate you, to seek to be able to, where we can, to deal with the problem of anger when it comes, to use that emotion effectively and correctly. But Lord, when needed, just let us cover the sin. Let us just leave it. Help us to deal properly with anger. We just pray for wisdom. Help us to not leave ourselves vulnerable to sin. Help us to have greater measures of self-control. And we do ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.