Thank you for listening to Servants for Christ. And all that we do and all that we say, we want to give glory and honor to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you for tuning us in as we get into the wonderful Word of God. For the next few minutes, let's take the beautiful Word of God and share it with each and every one of you as we have a sense of anticipation to take the Word of God and to listen to its truth for each and every one. Amen. I'm Darrell Betty. Thank you for tuning us in, Servants for Christ. We preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus, the Lord, in ourselves, your servants for Jesus' sake. Thank you as we continue on in our series and the Song of Solomon. divine perspectives on sex. This is our second in our series, and I'm glad that as we continue on, as we talked about in the wonderful Word of God, amen, that each and every one of us, last time we talked about embracing God's design for intimacy in the Song of Solomon, chapter one, verses one through eight. Here today, we look at the beauty of attraction in verses nine through 14 of chapter one of the Song of Solomon, amen. And as we get ready to go into the wonderful word of God, I hope and pray. that as we look into the word that you will begin to realize the greatest blessing of getting into the word of God. and being able to have the great opportunity to know more about the wonderful Word of God, how good the Lord is to each and every one of us as we get into its wonderful understanding and how God has created something wonderful for all of us, amen. And so, you know, as our young people are bombarded with negative and incorrect information about sex, they rarely hear about the beauty, the spirituality, and the nobility of sex as God intended. That's why I call this second teaching on divine perspectives on sex from the beauty of attraction. And so they rarely hear about the beauty, the spirituality, and the nobility of sex as God intended, contrary to the negative... The Bible clearly portrays sex as a beautiful, holy, and pure gift from God. Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 guides us because the Bible says marriage is honorable and all, and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. And so, you know, for a long time discussing intimacy and sex had been seen as inappropriate for church settings. And so, when you go through all of the history of this and can imagine, you know, I wonder as we get into the wonderful Word of God, Who meets your deepest needs? In other words, on a daily basis, on whom do you rely the most and to whom do you go to first to get your deepest needs met? Before you answer, let me define what deepest needs are and give you a list of the most common sources for the meeting of those needs and then it will be easier for you to understand what I want you to see as we talk about the beauty of attraction here in the Song of Solomon, chapter one, verses nine through 14. I'm glad that although each person has a particular areas of desire or certain preferences that are important to him or her, and it may not be to someone else, but all of us have certain needs that are in common. And those common needs are your deepest needs. I'm talking about physical needs such as food and oxygen or sleep. Rather, I'm talking about needs that transcend the physical, going deep into one's heart and soul. Each person's craving for those things is every bit as real as the built-in appetite that we have for food. Now listen to me. The four basic needs that all human beings are instinctively motivated to satisfy all of their lives are number one, acceptance. Knowing that you're loved and needed by others. Number two, identity. Knowing that you are individually significant and special. And number three, security. Knowing that you're well protected and provided for. And then the fourth, of these deepest needs, of the most basic needs of all human beings that are motivated to satisfy all of our lives is number four, purpose. Acceptance, identity, security, and purpose. Purpose, knowing that you have a reason for living. And in the case of Christians, it means knowing that God has a very special plan that he has for your life. Whether you have consciously realized it or not, these needs have been motivated have been motivating you throughout your life. All of us are driven in some significant way to find an avenue in life to satisfy. And so I'm glad what Paul said. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10, four, and did all drink the same spiritual drink for the drink of that spiritual rock that followed them and that rock was Christ. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. And so each and every one of us When we look at the beauty of attraction, each and every one of us, imagine the world's most glamorous femme premiere, where everyone is eagerly awaiting to see the stars walk the red carpet. And as the spotlight shines, all the eyes are drawn to a stunning figure who stands out among the crowd. This person, a celebrated actor known for their captivating beauty and charisma, that are the very essence of allure. Their presence is magnetic, drawing admiration from all that sees them. Just as this star, whether it's an actor or actress, captures the attention with their beauty and their grace, we look at this in the Song of Solomons in chapter one, verses nine through 14 that celebrates the profound attraction and admiration between two people that are deeply in love and their beauty and connection are portrayed with vivid and poetic language reflecting the intense and cherished bond that they share. And so, you know what? Let's open with a word of prayer and ask the Lord to intervene in the areas of our life, amen, that God would give us that exactly that we need at the time that we need it, amen, as we get into the beauty of attraction. Heavenly Father, as we get into your word again, and Lord, as we deal with the divine perspectives on sex, Father, I ask God that, Lord, that as we reflect on the word of God, that we would continue, Lord, to give glory and honor to you from one of the things that people have taken so far out of context biblical sex and marriage and commitment. And Lord, help me to explain to this generation that how far away from the biblical standards that they have gotten, that we would look to you, Father, and Lord, ask you to give us that that we need in the time that we're going through, Father. Lord, that you would give us what we need And Lord, to be able to give the correct information from the powerful Word of God and use it for your glory and honor. And Lord, the gift of marriage and intimacy, to honor one another, to build up each other with our words, with our actions. In Jesus' marvelous mighty name, amen. Now, the Word of God, as we look at, We see that the beauty of attraction is, first of all, as we begin to look at our lives, the first thing that we see in verses nine and 10 is the personal praise that should be there. That personal praise that should be there. We look in verse nine, and when we look at verse nine, we see that it says, I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses and Pharaoh's chariots. Now, the comparison of the woman to a horse and Pharaoh's chariots, here's a compliment suggesting her grace and beauty that stand out dramatically, much like the horses in the royal chariots. But I'm gonna tell you, when we look at this, you know, when we realize what the Lord As for us, we think of how all of the positive things and the negative things that come out when you're talking about sex. God has written the entire book of the subject of sex in the Song of Solomon. and the beautiful love story that is here before us, amen. The descriptions of the female anatomy which are made here that are a beautiful story from God's holy word. And so when we look at the story that's before us from the book of Solomon, we're talking about a matter of praise talk. about praise talk. And here in verses 9 and 10, as I read verse 10, he goes on, he says, thy cheeks are comely with rolls of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold. He's talking about personal praise. How beautiful you are, he says in verse 9. Solomon compares his love to the company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots because That's what those men loved in those days. The favorite thing was their horse. A high compliment in this culture signifying beauty and uniqueness. And so Solomon's infatuation with horses emphasizes the exceptional beauty that he sees in her. And so how beautiful you are, he's saying in verse 9. And so, When we look at that beautiful praise talk, that's as if he was talking sexy to her. You ever like to talk sexy to your wife? Well, I ain't gonna tell you my secret if you don't tell me yours. But in verses 9 and 10, Solomon's talking to a Shulamite and he says, Solomon has picked up on some things that the Shulamite has said. I'm glad last week in verses 5 and 6 she expresses insecurity concerning her self-image and she looked at herself and she was troubled about her personal appearance and for need of security. Solomon picked up on that and she's beginning to respond to this and Solomon seems to be a different kind of man from most men. He seems to be a better listener than most men are. He seems to be able to know how to talk a little bit better than most of us men know how to talk. He's got that sexy talk going. And so that personal praise that we see that is happening here because before marriage most men know how to talk pretty well. But during the courtship stage, they're able to talk. They can say all of these sweet things. They can tell you how lovely you are and how beautiful you are. I remember I was so infatuated with Lita 35 years ago when we were dating for a year before I married her. I ran through a red light. I was so infatuated. Man, I couldn't believe it. I'd already went through that red light and went on before I realized what had happened to me. Oh my goodness, I tell you, that's how infatuated. I wanted to go out and get some Oscar De La Renta, beautiful cologne, and give to her, praise God. I spend my whole paycheck and go in and get the biggest ring I could find. Every one of us, when we realize it, we just pour the sugar in the ear like you never heard all of your life. And then when we get married, all of a sudden, we become to a screeching halt and we become speech impaired. Somehow you can't seem to get a single thing out of them at that point in time. Men are like clams and women are like crowbars. A man just kind of clams up and he doesn't want to say a great deal. But a woman is like a crowbar. She's constantly pulling and trying to open that man up and get him to say something. And one wife complained that the only time that he opens his mouth is to eat and yawn. I guess some of us men are like that. But Solomon teaches us a great deal. He teaches us the importance of praise. And these two verses, 9 and 10, we have a personal praise. We got some wonderful love talk going on. Solomon's praising his girl. He's praising that girl with the greatly loved. Man, I want you to say that you need to begin to incorporate the power of positive praise and learn what it is to have that wonderful praise talk about your wife. Oh boy, I'm gonna tell you that it begins long, long, long before you ever go into the bedroom. And so, Here in verse nine, he's basically saying, boy, you are gorgeous. He's compared her to the company of horses, and I'm glad that now Solomon looks at her and he says, you look like a horse. That's real romantic, isn't it? Really, hey, I'm gonna tell you something, that ain't gonna make it when you get into the bedroom. But by the way, guys, I wouldn't advise you do that, but I would advise that you say to your wife, I don't know. Do you look like a horse? How dare you say I look like a horse? I want us man. I'm I tell you get out of the house, but about that time When I begins to open because she got knocked you out. I want to tell you all of us When we look at the compliments of a man, and especially Solomon could pay. Solomon was infatuated with horses, and you'll find that he even went down into Egypt and had special horses bred for his own use. Oh man, I can see some men now. Boy, if you ain't the most beautiful bass boat I ever saw in my life. Oh my goodness, man, you look like the compound bow that I got when I go deer hunting. Oh my goodness, Solomon was infatuated with horses and the only way that he know how to express it was that way. But you know what, that'll get you in trouble. And so he says in verse 9, I've compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses. Literally. Can you imagine in those days how beautiful something like that looked to Solomon? Listen, they didn't use mares in the chariots in those days. When Solomon said to her, you are like a mare among the horses that pull the chariots of Pharaoh, he was giving her one of the highest compliments that he possibly could give. He was telling her how very, very beautiful that she was to him. And there was something unique about a mare. He was saying to her, you are of a kind, and those mares, according to history, were white. And he may be saying to her, I want to thank you for being sexually pure. I want to thank you for being a virgin. That means a great deal to me. The horses in that day had very beautiful ornaments on them, and they were attired in beautiful accessories. And so Solomon was saying, you are absolutely drop gorgeous to me. You are the most beautiful to me. There's something seductive about that wonderful talk, about that personal praise, amen, the beauty of a woman, amen. And so he's saying in verse 9, how beautiful you are. Amen. He's comparing his love to a company of horses and Pharaoh's chariots with a high compliment in his culture, signified beauty and uniqueness. Amen. And secondly, how precious you are, he says in verse 10. He admires her cheeks. He adorns with jewels and her neck with a chain of gold, highlighting the importance of the appropriate attire and accessories. And so, encouraging our women to dress moderately and maintain that wonderful natural beauty. Amen. I'm glad one thing I can say about Lita. Lita never has ever needed any makeup. They, some women, they got to spray paint it on themselves. They got to, I mean, they got to go for hours upon hours to even try to make themselves. But you know what? I'm glad that I can just wake up next to Lita and I don't get scared to death and shocked and terrified by somebody that don't even look like who they look like during the day. She is beautiful no matter what that's what you got to look for and so he was saying some wonderful sexy top boy and all the beauty because as I talk about the subject the beauty of attraction be sure that you do not expose yourself to in revealing ways you want to find the one God intends for you to marry and you don't want to give away that which can only be given in godly marriage to your husband and so he said what in verse 10 he says thy cheeks are comely with rolls of jewels thy neck with chains of gold he says how pretty you are how beautiful you are amen he's saying how precious you are praise God And I want to encourage you that you need men to study in this area that the kind of clothing that is appropriate for our own size and our own shape, appropriate for our own complexion and the color of our eyes and our hair, amen. I'm glad sometimes you see a person you say, that dress becomes you. You're saying that dress is beautiful, that it calls attention to the beauty which is always there. Don't let your clothing take away from your beauty. Let your clothing call attention to the beauty which is yours. It begins with a word of praise, and we praise her, and so it's a personal praise that Solomon is talking about in verses nine and 10, amen. But secondly, as we go on, we see secondly in verse 11, that he's talking about public praise, amen, because he says in verse 11, we will make the borders of gold with studs of silver, amen. He wants to make the ornaments of gold studded with silver and is expressing a desire to adorn her with beautiful ornaments, reflecting a wish to honor her beauty with valuable and meaningful gifts, praise God. And so, When we look at the beauty of attraction and we see the personal praise of that wonderful love talk in verses 9 and 10 of how beautiful you are and how precious you are, we see in verse 11, secondly, that public praise, that communal admiration in verse 11, that Solomon's public praise leads others to a her beauty and adorn her even with more precious items. Amen. The importance of never criticizing your spouse publicly but always speaking positively about them. Amen. And so I'm glad that "'We'll make thee borders of gold and studs of silver.'" And it begins by saying that as we make these borders of gold with studs of silver, back in verse nine, Solomon says, "'I've compared thee.'" But in verse 11, others say, "'We will make thee.'" And so the implication of the change from Solomon to we and others is that Solomon has given public praise to his mate. Public praise for your mate is something that's very, very important. Men, listen. Tune in. Hone in right now to what I'm fixing to say. Never... Never, never publicly criticize your wife. Because if you want to have problems in the bedroom, if you publicly criticize your wife, you're going to have a lot of problems. One woman said, my husband's more polite in the restaurant where we go than he is to me. You know what? You must always publicly praise your maid. And here's what is going on. He has evidently said positive things about his girl because he's talking about will make you borders of gold and studs of silver. They're saying this man thinks you're somebody special that will give you something that will make you look even better to him. I want to encourage you to always be positive in your praise of your mate. And I'm glad that when you enter the room, take her arm, come in smiling. If you look happy, she will say something nice about her. when you introduce her. And when you sit down to dinner, hold her chair and push it in and be the gentleman that you need to be. And then I'm glad that when she looks at you, she'll smile back. Never fuss over the little points. I'm glad because when you get ready to go, I'm glad that you can, if it's winter time, you put her coat on. Take her by the arm and open the car door and treat her with that most wonderful, wonderful public praise because that's communal admiration, communal admiration. And see also you need that positive affirmation, which is general. Practice suggestions that publicly praise your spouse and create a positive atmosphere and strengthening the relationship. You know what? I haven't been married, and I'm not bragging, but because I've been married so long, I can thank the Lord. But the Lord and the work that it takes to be and stay married in America is what is lacking in America. We all need to work at staying married because when you stay married, you stay strong. When you stay in love with that spouse instead of having eyes that go everywhere else, amen, It's all about having not only personal praise in verses nine and 10, but public praise in verse 11, amen. But then let's move on, I thank God, to verses 12 through 14. And that brings us to our passionate praise, amen, as we deal with our love talk, the beauty of attraction, amen. And I'm glad that he says in verse 12, while the king sitteth at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof. He's talking about how he feels the presence of that fragrance of myrrh, the warmth and the richness of that love and the precious of that substance that signifies the deep value of their connection that he's talking about in verse 12, amen. But he goes on in verse 13, he says, a bundle of myrrh is my beloved unto me and he shall lie all night betwixt my breast. Now, the woman describes her beloved as a sachet of myrrh, a small cherished item that would be kept close to her heart. This suggests that she holds him very dear and close to her, amen. And so, when we look at this, We're reminded, amen, of what the Lord can do in all of our lives each and every day, amen. Because I'm glad that when we look and realize that God can really do a great wonder. He goes on in verse 14, he says, my beloved is unto me as a cluster of campfire. Vineyards of in Getty and so she continues to describe him as a cluster of blooms symbolizing the rarity and the vibrant beauty that he brings into her life a man and so through all of this that we look and realize that through the wonderful love language of the beauty of attraction a man we see a Thirdly, that passionate praise, because in verse 12, he's creating a special atmosphere. The Shulamite woman speaks praising her beloved and expressing her desire for intimacy, emphasizing the importance of creating a welcoming home environment, amen. And so, I'm glad as she talks that you'll discover that she begins to praise him. And praise begets praise. By the way, negative statements beget negative statements. And so, I'm glad. Oh, you think I got too much weight on me? Oh my goodness, look out with the criticism. It seems as if the Shulamite woman is trying to outdo her mate, Solomon. She says in verse 12, while the king sits at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof. And the scene has changed because no longer are they shut out in the country somewhere where Solomon evidently met the Shulamite girl. It is in the palace of the king that they are at the banquet table. in public in front of everybody and it is public praise but it also it is a passionate praise because the scene that is changed she's saying by the statement of verse 12 about him I honor him while the king is at his table and Solomon was a king indeed I tell you, you know what, I'm here to tell you, ma'am, make your mate the king of your house. Let him be the king where you live. And when the king sits at his table, in other words, it's very important that the home be a special place for the husband. Men live in a tough world. They take a lot of abuse on the job. They take a lot of abuse in their relationship, but when it comes to home, they need to be honored and respected, and their table is very important. And so we check the atmosphere, the smells, the sights, the sounds of the home, the smell of coffee. Woo, praise, I love that coffee. Percolating in the coffee maker, the smell of fresh-baked bread, the music that is played, the laughter of the children. Oh, I thank God we listen to Psalms 28, the picture of the ideal man's home, beginning in verse two that it says, for thou shalt eat the labor of thy hands, happy shalt thou be, it shall be well with thee thy wife shall be as a beautiful a fruitful vine by the sides of thy house thy children like olive plants round about the table behold that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord you see the Shulamite woman says in verse 12 My spikenard sending forth the smell thereof. And the very, very expensive Oscar de la Rente is going forth. I'm getting myself ready for that man to come home. Woo, praise God. My king is coming home. I prepared his table and I prepared myself. Boy, I'm gonna tell you, I can see that man. I can see Solomon jumping up and down ready to get to the house, buddy. I'm gonna tell you something, every one of us, Boy, when we look and realize how beautiful, but I'm glad that in verse 13 he says, the bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me, and he shall lie all night betwixt my breast. You better listen to me because she's basically saying, not only do I honor you, but I also, I hold you. Because the great desire in verse 13, that if you read it in those days, it was common for the women to wear a bundle of myrrh on their chest and it would melt and send out a very pleasant fragrance. and she was daydreaming. This was probably during the courtship stage that she was basically saying something like this, I long for that time when we will be Intimate in our relationship in our marriage commitment, and I'll tell you boy if that don't get you excited Oh, I'm gonna tell you something That's just the way people are today that as we make a commitment but so many people do like Arthur Reimer said they shack up here and shack up over there and they don't know what it means to make a commitment to somebody with a man and and a woman. But if you want to have a fulfilling marriage, if you want to have a fulfilling sexual intimacy in your marriage, you have to do it God's way. And he said in verse 14, my beloved is unto me as a cluster of campfire in the vineyards of En Gedi. Boy, I remember being down in En Gedi, down around the Dead Sea down there when I was in Israel, praise God. But I'm glad that here is the thing that's being said. He says in verse 14, I honor you, I hold you. He says this, but in verse 14 he says, my beloved is unto me as a cluster of countful. And that was a beautiful white yellow henna flower. It had a rose like fragrance. And in the vineyards that growed in En Gedi, which was an area of water that was down next to the Dead Sea, a park that's located on the western side of the Dead Sea. Right in the middle of the desert is the Vineyard of Engedi, and it's got waterfalls, it's got green grass, it's got beautiful flowers, and in the midst of the desert is a cool place. And she was saying, I have you, Solomon. You are as refreshing to me, as cool to me as this oasis in the wilderness of all of the desert of men, and God has given me you, and you are very special to me. And so that's that passionate praise of verses 12, 13, and 14, amen. And so I thank God, every one of us, when we look at the beauty attraction and what it does for all of us a man when we know how powerful it is to look and realize the tail the beauty of attraction a man and so I'm glad every one of us when we address some things God did direct you to listen to this message for some reason or another. And the first thing that I would say to you is that if you immediately are breaking off your marriage, if you're going through a very difficult time, you need to work a little bit harder of trying to rescue that and save that marriage and bring back to life that marriage that you've killed it somehow or another to be able to stay strong to be with your family, to be with your kids and your children, praise God. And so I wanna encourage you to work on that and to be able to be strong because not only when we look at that passionate praise of creating that special atmosphere, in verse 12, the Shulamite woman speaks, praising her beloved, expressing her desire for intimacy, emphasizing the importance of creating a welcoming home environment, amen, where everything is a haven of pleasant smell, food, loving atmosphere, but not only that passionate praise of creating a special atmosphere in verse 12, but in verses 13 and 14, expressing desire and appreciation. She expresses her longing for intimacy and compares her beloved, amen, and so I thank God when she compares that beloved, amen. to him, Amen, and of the things that we see that the Lord is doing for all of us, Amen. I'm glad that as we do that and we look at what God wants to do in our lives, I thank God. You know what, whether you have consciously realized it or not, these needs have been motivated through your life. All of us are driven in some significant way, but I want to thank God that when we look and realize that God can use us for his honor and glory, God can use us like no one else can, praise God, that I'm glad that here we can look and we can see what God really wants to do, amen. Discover that we've got a great blessing ahead of us. And so, as I close out, and I get ready to close out, I want to ask you, listen, what steps can you take to create a more intimate atmosphere in your home? Will you prioritize your time together and have open communication? How can we deeper in our spiritual connection, deepen our spiritual connection with God and enhance our marital intimacy? I think that by seeking God's guidance and strength to honor Him in your marriage. That is one of the greatest ways that we can honor a spiritual connection with God to enhance our spiritual intimacy, to be able to have the beauty of attraction in your family, in your marriage, and in your life. And so, remember that every one of us, when we begin to talk sexy to our wife, it begins long before the bedroom. we got to be able to have an atmosphere of love and respect and intimacy in our homes, amen. And so, consider the story of that renowned model, widely celebrated for her beauty and elegance for years as we started out in the beginning. She's graced the magazine, covered the red carpets, become a symbol of grace and allure, and yet beyond the superficial What truly sets her apart is the depth of her presence and the way that she embodies both her inner and outer beauty. And I'm glad that as her career blossoms, she represents a standard of beauty that resonates deeply with many. This is the mirror This is the mirror of what I've read about in the Song of Solomon, verses 9 through 14, when I talk about the beauty of attraction that portrays the intimate and profound beauty of love. Just as the models endure their captive hearts, this passage that I've read to you highlights how the richness and the depth of a loving relationship are treasured and celebrated and should be across America today because we embrace the beauty, whether in a romantic relationship or through public admiration that reflects every one of us, the beauty of our attraction to each other. Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of marriage and intimacy and the beauty of attraction. Help us to honor one another. Build up each other with our words and our actions. Strengthen our marriages. Guide us in your ways in Jesus' marvelous mighty name. Because Lord, through the basic needs of acceptance, identity, security, and purpose, that Lord, that this is our special plan that you have for us. Whether we realize it or not, that Lord, that you would help us and the ways that you did through the song of Solomon to understand the beauty of attraction and our commitment of marriage and love in Jesus's marvelous mighty name. Amen. you