Can I see the hands of the children? Oh, yes. Thank you for coming. I just love the presence of the children. I just like to see you here. You're a very important part of this service and these meetings, and I want you to know that. We pick up our story, and I was going to close it tonight, but as I went through the book today and I was again refreshing my mind, I said, There's so much left, I think I'm going to split it. I'm going to tell you some of it tonight and I'll pick it up again Sunday evening. I promise to finish it Sunday evening. I won't let you hang on Sunday evening. Last night, Henry had pushed through the crack in the rock and he saw the sun for the first time that he could remember. And he saw the grass and those wonders of creation that you and I have grown up with and seen and learned to appreciate and love, but have taken for granted. It was all new for Henry. And as the time day progressed, he came to know that there is a God. We're going to pick up more of the story now tonight. So he was at the home of Menred, And Mendred determined that this boy, he saw this, he heard this boy speak. He'd been taught by the robbers how to speak. And so he had unacceptable language. He had unacceptable habits, things that would not be, absolutely were not right. They were not good, but he didn't know better. So Menred determined that throughout as the days and the weeks came by, went on by, he wanted to teach this boy what right was. On top of that, the boy was, he hadn't seen, been in sunlight. And he did not look healthy. And so he felt like if he could just be in the sun a while and out in the fresh air, that it would do him a lot of good and his complexion would change and he would begin to look much better and feel much better. And he felt like it would be a good idea to just to give it a little time. Meanwhile, one of the things I missed and did not say last night was that when Henry was in the cavern, the old gypsy lady occasionally, when she would be in a very good mood, she would give him a picture of his mother. And on the particular day that he was able, that she fell asleep and he walked out. On that day, he had that picture with him. Tucked in his pocket. So when Menred asked Henry, do you have a mother? Or do you have a father? Whatever he asked. Oh, he said certainly I do. And he pulled out of his pocket this picture of his mother. And he'd never seen the picture of his mother in the sunlight. And when he pulled it out, he could not believe. Does it? Oh, yeah, this is one beautiful picture of his mother. And he'd never seen it in the sunlight. And so he's like, hey, his politeness. Such a beautiful lady. He wants to meet her shortly. And so when Menred, as Menred thought about it, he said, okay, certainly we want to go about and find your mom and your dad. So he began to make plans. He'd been a man that had traveled much in the country and he was well acquainted with the country and its layout and all of that. But he was still wondering, where do I go and where do I start to find the parents of this young boy? So he took a trip, he took a little visit to the parents of the shepherd boy that had found Henry. He went to their house and he prearranged that he would bring Henry to their place, leave him there, and then he would go and explore the country, see if he could find the parents. And once he found the parents, he would come back, pick up Henry, and take Henry to his parents. That was his plan. As the fall approached, The day came when he thought he would begin his journey. Early in the morning, even just as the stars were beginning to disappear, they had their breakfast and a prayer in the chapel that God would prosper their journey and that somehow they would be able to find the parents of Henry. They began their journey early and they had packed their bag, had eaten breakfast before they left and they'd packed their lunch and food and so on for their journey. And they began to go the shepherd paths that were along the mountainsides throughout the day. And as they were going, Henry was just again amazed at things in creation that he'd never seen before. They came upon a spot where there was a shepherd with some goats, and the goats were playing around on the hillside, and Henry was just terribly intrigued. And to all things, the shepherd had a son. And the son came to greet Menred, and all of a sudden, Henry said, ah, another little lamb like me. I didn't know there was more than one of me. I thought I was the only one in the earth like this. And so he was amazed. Now he had a little friend. And he was hoping this friend would go with them on their journey. And indeed he did. He offered to carry Menred's bag. And so they were going now, three of them together, on their journey, going down. And the goat, her son knew that he would not be going along on the journey, but he was just along for a little bit because they were intentioned to stop at the home of the parents of the shepherd boy that had found him early on. But as they were going along, they stopped and took their lunch. And then they proceeded on until they came to a valley, beautiful valley. It was green. It was beautiful. Good place for shepherds. And the path was very narrow in parts of it. And there was a spot where there was a large outcropping of rocks from both sides of the valley. And they were enjoying the view. But there was the shepherd that was also there. And in this case, it was a shepherdess. And Medard was puzzled. He thought he knew the shepherds in the area. But this shepherdess, he had never seen before. And so as he approached, he was amazed even more because the shepherdess was sitting there with a book and she was reading. Very unusual. So it was obvious that this girl had learned to read somewhere and she was reading a book and she seemed to be absorbed in the book. But as she looked up from her book, as she heard the footsteps of Mendred coming and those who were coming, she immediately knew she had heard of this man and his spirituality and how he was a good man, she knew. She immediately knew who he had to be. And so she rose to greet him. But as he observed her, he said, you must be a stranger in these parts. I've never met you. Oh, she said, I've been a shepherd in these, in the mountains for years. But said only three days ago, I came here to be a shepherd in this area for this man. And she said, and Menred looked at her and he said, you seem to be sad about something. And then she said, yes, indeed. Said some years ago, I was a servant at the home of a certain wealthy wealthy people. And in a moment of carelessness, the little boy I was taking care of disappeared. I've been praying that God would somehow help me to find this little boy or would somehow bring this little boy back to his parents. But I could not bear to stay there and see the grief of that mom. And so I've been in the mountains praying that God would somehow bring the family back together again somehow. Menrud was amazed. His prayer that morning had been that God would somehow prosper their journey in finding these parents. And now all of a sudden he felt pretty confident that he had stumbled upon a very major clue as to who Henry's parents might be. And so plucking from his pocket the picture of The countess, he brought it before Margaret, who looked at it and said, ah, this is the very woman, this is the very mother of that young boy that was stolen. Menred said, your prayer is about to be answered because the boy is right here. And she wept and fell to her knees in thankfulness and prayer. And as she was doing so, Henry comes along and he sees her crying and he says, oh, don't cry. And he brought two apples and said, you can have these apples. He was really... And she saw Henry and saw that it has to be the son of Frederick because he looked so much like Frederick. There was tremendous joy. as they together realized that the answer to their prayers had come and that now all that remained was to travel to the castle where hopefully the parents would be and that they could have a joyful reunion. But it was some distance. And so by the next morning they hired a wagon and horses with a very able driver, hoping that within three days, they could reach the home of Frederick Eisenfeld. They began their journey, and the driver was very confident. And Henry was just, he couldn't believe. They would zip through the valleys and through here and there and down the road, and he would see all these buildings he had not dreamed that there could be so much world to see. And he was constantly exclaiming about all that he would see. Second day came to an end, and as the end of the second day was drawing near and darkness was coming, they were approaching a forest area. And that forest area was not a very welcome area, but they needed to pass through it to get to the home of the Eisenfelds. And so as they approached there, there was a storm that came, and they realized there was only one thing to do, and that's to stop at the only place that was in the area, and that was a saloon. So they stopped at that place, and it was notorious for robber bands to come and rob it, and it was just, that was the only place there was. So late that night, they had their supper and they retired. The only one that was still awake was Menred, who had his candle there, and he was reading the scriptures late into the evening, thanking God for the way he had prospered their journey thus far. When suddenly there was a loud commotion. There was a beating upon the door and upon the shutters. Open up! Open up! And it woke the household, except for Henry, who seemed to be sleeping through it. And Margaret and everybody in the household was rare but afraid. The innkeepers didn't know what to do. It's like they're going to break down the door. As the pounding on the door was louder and louder, and the storm outside was raging, and the men outside were not happy that they couldn't come right on in. And Mendred said, There's no reason, there's no sense in trying to keep this door closed. They're going to open it up, they're going to come in. They opened up the door, to who? Margaret was like, oh no, the robbers are going to get him again. Come back Sunday evening, we'll pick you up from there. Let's have another song. Let's sing one verse of the song, Oh for a heart to praise my God. Oh, for a heart to praise my God, a heart from sin set free, a heart sprinkled with the blood so freely shed for me. Thank you again so much for coming. Please open your Bibles, will you please, to the book of Malachi. The very last verse in the Old Testament. The last two verses of the Old Testament. Tonight we want to speak on values for the family. Values for the family. There would have been a lot of topics we could have spoken about and we were But God pulled me very directly, very, very clearly into this subject here this evening. Beginning to read in verse 4 or 5 and 6, Malachi chapter 4. Behold, I send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. In America tonight, we are partaking of the curse that comes from the absent father in the home, or the father who is absent from the home. The statistics show us that America is in a dreadful place when it comes to fathers in the home. And marriage has taken a back seat in many cases. The idea of open relationships, living together without commitment to one another, making it easy instead of getting married and then needing to get divorced. Why not just live together in an open relationship so that we don't have to go through the hoopla of marriage and divorce? If it doesn't work out, so what? We'll just do our own thing. The tale is sad, because the commentaries are coming through very clearly in the lives of the next generation who have not had role models that will point them in the right way or take them in the right way or demonstrate what living ought to be. Values and morals have not been expressed by the way they have seen others live and they have really a very, very small sense of what really is right. It's a pathetic situation. Last night, I believe, was Kevin read to us. Let's just go to that scripture. Psalm 68. Psalm 68, verse 6. God said at the solitarian families, He bringeth out those which are bound with chains. But the rebellious dwell in a dry land. God has set the family to be the keystone of society. And when that model of husband and wife is broken down, torn apart, pulled away, and is not demonstrated to the next generation, there is a tremendous vacancy that exists in the experience of the next generation. Because there is not the demonstration of that which is right. One of the keystones of any country, any nation, upon which every generation needs, we need that, is the cross-generational influence of a father and a mother teaching, by example, the next generation. And in some cultures, it is not just the father and mother, it's the clan. All the uncles and everybody lives close together. And when there are important decisions to be made, there is the oldest of the family, who is the clan elder, who leads out and all the uncles are a part of the decision. But at any rate, there is that cross-generational influence. And that cross-generational influence, I believe, is very important for any nation. But that, I believe, is being displaced in our nation today. Will you please turn with me to the book of Deuteronomy? I want to pick out a number of principles here. As you're turning to that, let me just say this. The difference between a functional home and a dysfunctional home is not as much as you would think. And let me say it this way. in the nation today of the United States or around the world, any nation, families that uphold to true values and principles of morality, who do what they can in their communities to be faithful and to impact others for right, are the unsung heroes of any society. And really, I believe that sometimes they look like they have it all together, but they're also struggling. There is no such thing, I don't think, as a family that doesn't have some struggles. Because we bring into our families our humanities. We try not to bring too much of that along on Sunday morning. But somehow or another, we bring that into our families and it's there. And our children know it. Our families know it. And I believe that, honestly, our children are not looking for perfect people, but they are looking for honest ones. And if we can just acknowledge our humanity and face our humanity in the presence of our children and just acknowledge those things, we do ourselves and them a favor. Because the time comes when they, with all their ideas of what perfection is, will discover that they too fall short. They too fall short. So what are you going to do with your inconsistencies once you face your own? And if we as parents can demonstrate through how we have faced our inconsistencies and our wrong, demonstrated in the presence of our children how to respond and how to get back on the right track, it will build a foundation for the next generation. The difference between a family that is doing well and a family that is struggling severely is really not as great as we would like for it to be. One act of unfaithfulness, one broken promise, one angry outburst, lie, can destroy, pull a family apart. But on the other side, reconciliation, one act of reconciliation, an apology, One word of encouragement or a positive memory can move and make a tremendous impact for right. So let's never downplay the importance of that impact. Let me read something for you. His life began with all the classic handicaps and disadvantages. His mother was a powerfully built and dominating woman who found it difficult to love anyone. She had been married three times and her second husband had divorced her because of violence in the home. The father of the child I am describing was of a third husband who had died of a heart attack before the child was born. As a consequence, the mother worked long hours from the time of his birth. She gave him no affection, no love, no discipline, no training during those early years. She did not allow him to call her at work. Other children had little to do with him, so he was alone most of the time. He was rejected from his earliest childhood. He was ugly, poor, untrained, unlovable. When he was 13 years old, a school psychologist commented that he probably does not even know the meaning of the word love. During adolescence, the girls would have nothing to do with him, and he fought constantly with the boys. Despite a high IQ, he failed academically and finally dropped out of school during his third year of high school. He thought he might find a new acceptance in the Marine Corps. for they reportedly built men, and he desperately wanted to be one. His problems went with him, and the other Marines laughed at him and ridiculed him. He fought back, resisted authority, was court-martialed and thrown out of the Marines with a dishonorable discharge. Now he was a youth in his early 20s, friendless and shipwrecked. He was a small and scrawny man with a squeaky voice. He was a balding, had no talent or skill or no sense of worthiness. He did not even have a driver's license. Once again, he thought he could run from his problems, so he went to a foreign country to live. He was rejected there too, for nothing had essentially changed. While there, he married a girl who had been an illegitimate child and brought her back to America with him. Soon she developed the same contempt for him that everyone else had displayed. She bore him two children, but he never enjoyed the respect and status that a father should have. His marriage continued to crumble. His wife demanded more and more things that he could not provide. Instead of being his ally against the bitter world, as he had hoped, she became his most vicious opponent. She could outfight him, learn to bully him. Finally, she forced him to leave. He tried to make it on his own, was dreadfully lonely. After days of solitude, he went home, literally begged her to take him back. He surrendered all pride. He crawled. He accepted all humiliation and came back on her terms. Despite his meager salary, he brought her $78 as a gift, asking her to take it and spend it any way she wished. She laughed at him. She belittled his attempts to supply his family's needs and ridiculed his failure. On one occasion, she made fun of him in front of her or of a friend, at which point he fell to his knees and wept bitterly as the greater darkness of his personal nightmare enveloped him. Finally, in silence, he pled no more. No one had ever wanted him. In his rejection, His ego lay shattered in the fragment of dust. The next day, he was a strangely different man. He rose, went to the garage, took down a rifle he had hidden there, smuggled it to a newly acquired job at a book storage building. From a window on the third floor of that building, shortly after noon on November 22, 1963, he sent two shells crashing into the head of John F. Kennedy. I don't know if this could be verified. It's just a sketch of his life. Lee Harvey Oswald is credited with taking the life of John F. Kennedy. And today we have in America Many that are walking, various ones that are walking into schools and opening fire upon those that are around them, that could be their friends. What's happening today? You know as the home disintegrates, and the stability of the society is cracking and breaking and coming apart, What is happening is that the fiber of this nation is being affected because the homes are no more built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. And what is happening today I believe we are seeing in this society as a result of the homes crumbling. And that's why the burden of my heart tonight as I speak to you is we can have a home solid. And that this very group that is here tonight would be able to get to act together in their homes and impact the neighborhoods in which you live. Pointing men to what is right. The values that count. The things that really matter. And moving ahead and pushing others and influencing them toward right as well. How we need to do that? Deuteronomy chapter 5, verse 8. I'm sorry, verse 4. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might. These words which I command thee shall be in thy heart. Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children. Shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, when thou walkest by the way, when thou risest up, and when thou liest down. When thou liest down and when thou risest up. They have told, this is something I have been told, I have heard. I hear, I forget. I hear and see, I remember. I hear, see, and do. I understand, and I change. Someone has said, Dr. Howard Hendricks says, that when I only hear, I will remember only 10%. So I don't expect you to remember more than 10% of what I have said this week. And that's not very much. I haven't said very much. You're not going to remember very much. Within a year, I'll probably, if I ask you, you'd be embarrassed and I would too. So we won't talk about it in a year. Don't worry. But I hear and I see and I remember 50%. I hear, see and do 90%. That's why the home is so crucial. So while you and I, as parents, in our families, we have the children that are growing up, the importance of demonstrating the principles of the scriptures in our life is tremendously important. We teach something by what we say. But we teach more by what we do. But we teach most by what we are. And in the home, there is where that impact really, really makes a difference. Because you're growing up there, growing up with you. And hopefully you have enough time at home That the together time will be valuable time. And that the memories they have of home will be that which draws them back in their later years when they're older and they have families of their own, they want to come back home. So the grandparents don't have to sit there by themselves, hopefully. And I realized tonight there's a fair amount of grandparents that are here. And I bless you. I really do. And I was like, I told my wife, what do I preach tonight? We got a lot of grandparents here. What do I tell them? I don't know what to tell you. More than be faithful. There is few things that can impact the next generation as much as looking at the example of a grandfather and a grandmother that have hung together for 50 years and 60 years and what all. And even at the passing of a loved one when they see that close bond. That speaks volumes. It speaks of a relationship that has been forged on friendship. Has walked through hardship. Has survived the test of life. Has come out the other side victorious. That's the picture we need in our world today. Absolutely. We need that picture. And here he says, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart. You can talk all you want to. about loving God. You can read the scriptures all you want to, but my friends, unless you begin to demonstrate the principles of the scripture in your life, in your home, in your relationship with your business partner, in your relationship with your children, in your relationship with your spouse, that's not gonna mean very much. That's why he brings out here the issue of the demonstration Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children to talk of them when thou sittest in the house, when thou walkest in the wing, when thou layest down, and when thou risest up. That's life. That's life. That's the way it's meant to be. There needs to be a demonstration of the role models that God would like to see. But we move on in this scripture. I want to pick up another principle here that I think is very important. Thou shalt by verse let's drop down to verse 10 And it shall be when the Lord thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thee, thy fathers, to Abram, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities which thou buildest not, houses full of all good things which thou fillest not, and wells digged which thou diggest not, vineyards and olive trees which thou plantest not, when thou shalt have eaten and be full, Then beware, lest thou forget the Lord. Friends, we are living in the day of prosperity. Much of what my generation has, has been given to us by the former generation. And whenever that happens, there is a tremendous tendency for the generation that receives to come They've been given so much, but they forget to be grateful. And at the heart of the Christian life, there needs to be a grateful spirit. If we are not grateful for that which we have been given, and we begin to develop the idea that, oh this, the world owes us this stuff. We have allowed ourselves to be involved or become overwhelmed by the things that are ours to enjoy. And when that happens, there's a number of things that happen. One is we lose our gratitude for it. Secondly, we begin to look at anybody who does not have what we have and think, huh, if you just straightened up your life, and we got to work, got to get a hold of work ethic and did your stuff right, and you managed a little bit, you'd just be okay. And our compassion melts. At the heart of the ministry of Christ was a heart of compassion. And I believe that compassion ought to be a part of every one of our families and homes. I remember at home, It doesn't, I don't know if it still happens here in Holmes County, but I remember in the years when I was growing up, there was a tramp that would come down the road and close to our home. His name was Kessel. That's what we called him anyway. In Dutch, I want to kiss him. That would mean what? Anyway, and he would come. and he was always welcome at our home. Mom would just, she would always, she'd have something, and she'd make sure he had plenty. And I remember the day when Dad discovered that this man had some teeth issues. And he told Kessel, I'm, hey, get yourself ready, we're going to the dentist. And he picked that man up, and he took him to the dentist, to the family dentist, and got him doctored up. I've never forgotten those things. Now, we weren't all that, we were sort of about half scared of a man. He was a big man. But he always looked the same. He never made any moves in any way that gave us a reason to be afraid of him. But that compassion, my friends, made an impact on my life. And to this day, I still have a soft heart for the homeless and for those who have needs around them. That's why I barely survived my Kenyan experience. There were so many needs all around that I just about didn't know what to do with. Everywhere you looked, there were needs. In fact, I told someone I wasn't a very good deacon when I came back from the mission field because I looked at our constituency and the people in Archer, there ain't no needs here. Everybody here's got a house. Why? How was I supposed to be a deacon? A deacon is supposed to meet the needs of the church and see the needs of... I couldn't see them for a long time. It took me a while before I woke up. Yeah, there's needs here too! They're different. And so, we had to develop that again. But let me say tonight, I believe that compassion needs to be a part of every life, every Christian life, of every family. There needs to be a way of reaching out in compassion to the needy. In a way that the family can be a part of. Proverbs 22. As we look at the scriptures as a family, there's the opportunity for us to teach the Ten Commandments, the laws that God has that are not meant to be bent. In fact, you can't bend them, they break. We can break them, but you can never bend them. As Moses typified when he brought that that tablet of stone down, and the children of Israel, they had violated those commandments, thou shalt have no other gods, and they were dancing before the golden calf. And he threw that tablet of stone down onto the mountainside. And it came crashing down and breaking into slivers. It's typical, I think it's a type of what God wanted to bring to bear there. You cannot bend the rules of God. You will break them. And the only thing that takes care of that is forgiveness. Proverbs 22, verse 6. Train up a child in the way he should go. When he is old, he will not depart from it. And that scripture has been up for discussion in many, many circles and many, many, many, many times. And there's probably a lot of different thoughts about it. But as I look into this passage, there is one thought that makes the most sense to me. And that is this, train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, it will not depart from him. Every person has his choice to make. And God says, what more could I have done for Israel? God posing as a parent for Israel. And though he had done everything perfect for Israel, yet Israel walks away. So there are parents, and I had, I've had parents, I've talked to parents. I had a set of parents that came to me one time after the service when I, I think I just preached on the home. And they were pleading with me, they said, we have been devastated, our children have walked away from faith. And we are devastated, we just, and we have taken counseling and we've been asking, we've opened ourselves before men that they could help us to somehow find what have we done wrong? There wasn't any answer, it didn't seem. Bottom line, every person can make their own decision. Youth tonight, you can make your own decisions. And the decisions you make will be that which you will have to live by, but it's also that which you will be judged by. I'm not going to be saved by the faith of my parents. I'm not going to be lost. because someone that I know influenced me in the wrong way. I'm going to be saved or lost because of the choices that I have made and I will be accountable before God because of that. And that's why I think the issue of taking responsibility for what we have done is a basic concept that will prepare us for the decisions we need to make before God. Every parent tonight here, please, I plead with you, make an effort to prepare your children for the greatest decision they will ever need to make. Will I serve Jesus or will I not? How can you prepare someone for that? As I look into this passage, I believe we should never lose hope nor should we lose faith in the power of the scriptures and therefore we need to be teaching the scriptures though we don't know how they will impact or how the next generation and the children are really picking it up are they going to adopt it for themselves we don't know that but our responsibility is to teach and then to demonstrate to walk with them, and to be their friends to the place that they can ask us questions. So important. New Testament scripture, Ephesians chapter 6. And this, I hope every parent that is here tonight picks up on this. As far as I know, there are only two commands to children in the scripture. And it's found here in Ephesians chapter 6. Here's what he says. Beginning to read in verse 1. Children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth and ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Friends, tonight the two commands are very clear here. It is to obey and to honor. Children, obey your parents. Honor thy father and thy mother. Obedience is a principle of life that cannot be set aside and still have a happy life. If you never learn obedience... Jesus learned obedience by the things he'd suffered, the Bible says. If you never learn obedience, you will constantly be bumping against something somewhere. You will always have an authority somewhere that is asking you to do something and you don't want to do it. It could be your employer, it could be your school teacher or whoever it is. Obedience is that basic concept. If that concept is missed, and we don't learn that concept early in life, and we start bumping against things, and suddenly you bump against the government, And if you're not careful, they're not quite as forgiving as your parents might have been. And you might end up in jail. And I spoke to a man, there was a man who went to jail and I spoke to him. And I, by the way, probably 99% of the people sitting in jail think they're there because they would tell you they're there because they've been falsely accused. But I spoke to one that was the exception. He said, I went to jail. I was there in prison. And he said, my parents did not bail me out. And he said, that's what turned me around and brought him to faith. You see, in order for a person to be a follower of Jesus Christ, we need to obey the principles of the scripture. We need to obey the laws of God. And unless we learn the principle of obedience, we're not properly prepared to come to that great decision when God nudges you and convicts you of sin. Because we don't want to obey that either. Very, very powerful concept. And I grieve today When I see parents today that are sidestepping that issue of confronting the will of a child. And they're becoming, yeah, they want to be buddies of their children and they want to somehow reason through things with their children. And their children's intellect is not at the place where they're meant to reason. They're meant to come to the place of obedience. It is later on as they come to the age of accountability where they establish the world of reason and being able to acknowledge, see principles. You see, principle never changes. Principle never changes, practice does. And that's why you can have the expression of a principle in various different cultures and all that practice can be right as long as it meets the value of the principle. So it's important for us as parents to realize we cannot sidestep the issue of obedience in our children and do our children a favor. It is a basic step in making them good citizens, making them good friends to others, making them good students in school, making them good employees at the workplace. It's a building block for life. It's a value. And it's that that prepares them for that big question. When Jesus asked them, will you serve me? To obey and to honor. Revelation chapter 3, verse 19. I love this passage because it points something out to us. I would like to parent my aspiration as I was a parent when my children were home and I still, our oldest daughter is still at home, but she's 45, 6. I'll make another mistake here, just keep my mouth shut here. She's at home. Verse 19 and 20. God's parenting style. Right here, you have it. As many as I love, I rebuke, I chase. Those are three things that are necessary in every home. There needs to be establishment of principle. God in love has given us the rules of right and wrong. But then he says, I rebuke. And he follows with, I chasten. There needs to be a way of bringing back when there has been a violation of the laws of God. There needs to be a way of bringing back. And as parents, you need to be clear on the establishments of rules. Things that they need to know that are right and wrong. You need to make it very clear, not the grey thing. Make it, not this issue of, you shouldn't be stealing that watermelon because you don't know what it's been sprayed with. That's what's happening this day. People are, ah, they're so worried about health of the body and so on and so. Yeah, I believe that we need to be careful. Live right. Okay, don't just drink. seven spray Be careful But what is the principle why you shouldn't steal a watermelon? Not because of what it's been sprayed with but because the Bible says thou shalt not steal Don't bend God's laws in your home make God's laws clear So if someone in the home breaks God's laws, you need to do the same thing that God does. I rebuke. That's admonition, which means careful admonition. You're speaking to them. You're telling them, you've done wrong here. First advice. But if it persists, I chase it. You bring them back. Because you're wanting to melt that will. Make it pliable in the hands of Jesus. And it's only going to happen if they have learned to become pliable in the hands of authority. There's another principle. And that's the principle of responsibility, personal responsibility. An embarrassing incident that I'm going to bring to focus tonight. I remember going with Dad to the IGA in Sugar Creek, Ohio. We got to the IGA and Dad was shopping, something he didn't do much. And I don't even know why I was along, but as he was shopping, I was also shopping. And there was a little mini car there or something, mini vehicle of some kind that caught my attention and I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I got home and I didn't have enough sense to realize that I shouldn't be playing with it in dad's presence. But anyway, I was playing with that thing at home and, where did you get that thing? Oh, well, why gee. Fell. Fell again. We gotta go back. So we went back. And I had the, we had the vehicle, we gotta take this thing back. When we got there, guess what happened? We started walking up, he came around the cash register and we started, well, surely dad's gonna go first and go talk to this lady or whatever. Huh. Sok si vas ki du hosht. Tell her what you did. It was a lesson of a lifetime. I took it. Dad could have gone and settled the thing. I wouldn't have had to have been along. But I would have missed the lesson that I never forgot. That lesson was, I took it. It's my responsibility to make it right. Don't miss that lesson. When a child does wrong deliberately, and I knew better than to steal. I don't know what I was thinking or I guess somehow I figured this would be different, I don't know what. But it awoke in me a sense of responsibility. That if I have done it, It's my responsibility to fix it. And in the world we're living in, people are walking around and, oh, they're not to blame. I wouldn't want to talk of politics tonight. I can't hardly keep from it. But anyway, the blaming, what is happening in upper levels of our nation, Refusing to take responsibility for the decisions that they have made. It is pathetic. And my friends, tonight, it starts right there. Learning to take responsibility for the things we have done. Coming to the place where we acknowledge, I have sinned. I must change it. It's not someone else's responsibility, it's mine. I have to change for things to be better. There's the issue of order in the home. So we have here, God gives the rules, but he also rebukes and he chastens. Be zealous therefore and repent. And then he says, behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man will hear my voice and open the door, I will come into him and will sup with him and he with me. There you have the invitation part of Christ. Christ also comes at the time when he speaks into our heart and there's the soft gentle knock and he's wishing to enter in. He's wishing to pierce our conscience and to give to us the hand of friendship. And as we come to a relationship where we learn to accept our wrongs, we learn to accept the laws of God, and we realize that yes, there is the rebuke of God there, there is the chastening of God there, but there is the invitation to friendship of God. That's God's parenting style. And I believe that that's what every parent that is Christian needs to seek to emulate in the relationship with their children. Our children need to be our friends. But at the same time, there must be much more than just the friendship relationship. There must be the realization that there is authority. There must be the realization that there is penalty for sin. These are basic issues. And bring our children to faith. Values that they should adopt for themselves. Old fashioned, indeed, but it works. Ephesians chapter 4. Let him that stole steel no more, but rather let him labor working with his hands a thing which is good that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, for that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. We're going to pause here a little bit. Your relationships have the tendency or have the opportunity or have the possibility of blocking your relationship horizontally with your fellow men, has the opportunity of blocking your relationship with the Holy Spirit. Grieve not the Holy Spirit through corrupt communication and through anger. There has been a lot of damage done in homes by angry people, angry fathers, or angry mothers for that matter. Anger is devastating in a hole. It leaves charred, it leaves wounds, and it leaves bruises that are very hard to recover from. And it establishes, often in many cases, it brings about a sense of fear of authority that isn't meant to be there in a healthy relationship. Fear. Relationship between child and parent hopefully will not have to be motivated by fear. I remember the days when I would do something while dad was gone and mom would say, You wait till dad comes home. I'm going to tell dad. And you know what? I didn't want to see dad. I, at that point, I had a healthy respect. I'd much rather she'd have whooped me because it didn't come as hard. So I always would have wanted mom to do the, do the job right away. Let's just get it over with. But no, she had this way of saying, there's two things that happen at that point. You get to soak a while until you, until it comes. And then when it comes, it comes hard and heavy, and you don't forget. Sometimes even with a rubber hose, if that's the most handy thing that happens to be there. And I know that works. I don't recommend it, maybe not, but let's just say it this way. If you are... Dad was one of them things, it was no nonsense. And if it happened to be that something else that might be more appropriate wasn't there and it was time to take care of the issue on the spot, he didn't hesitate. He just took care of it. And we were the better for it. Pick up another principle. Oh, I forgot to read the rest of that scripture. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all madness. Be ye kind one to another, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you. Two principles that need to be in every home. The issue of kindness and the issue of forgiveness. We all fail. We all fail. Many were the times when I had to go to my children and say today, Your daddy wasn't that good a guy. Today, I failed. I did wrong. They knew it. They knew it. I did not lose. I lost. It was hard for me to do. I had to humble myself in front of my children to do that. But my friends, it built confidence. They knew I did wrong. To try to hide it didn't fool them. None of us tonight is going to do ourselves any favor by not acknowledging our wrong and simply saying, can you forgive me? Some years ago, and I mean to tell you, the mountain men can keep grudges. And I've lived with mountain men both in Tennessee and now in Virginia. And some years ago, there was a Do I have time for this? I think I'll take time for this story. There was a man in the mountains of Virginia where I live, and his wife and her, she had, one morning when I was on the way to school with the school children, And we had this one sort of a one-lane bridge that was just up from our house a little bit. And as I approached this bridge, on the other side, there was another vehicle approaching. And I stomped on the brakes and stopped just before hitting the bridge. And she, coming from the other direction, slammed on the brakes and come sliding across the bridge. And I, to this day, God only, I think, kept it from going like this. And I was like, oh, OK. We missed each other. And I was OK. I thought, OK. Done deal. And I went on to drop the children off in school and went on to work, which at that point was at Faith Mission Home. It wasn't long until that vehicle comes buzzing up the drive, Faith Mission Home. And she comes out of there. And I'm telling you, she scorched my ears from one side out the other. And I mean, she let me have it. I just, whatever. Whew, okay. There was nothing to do but say, I'm sorry. But you know, I just, it was like there was a constant, there was a permanent grudge between us. Would you believe it, but maybe six months or nine months later, I was coming down the road, this time by myself, just creeping along. I was enjoying, I was looking at things, and I was in charge of the Faith Mission Home garden and truck patch, and I was probably checking that. But anyway, as I was going down slowly again, we had one of those places where the road was narrow and there was a culvert there. And as I approached this culvert of all things, suddenly there was a vehicle there. Where'd this guy come from? And I was like, phew. But we passed and I looked back in my rear view mirror and I just saw that vehicle bouncing up over that culvert. And I realized it was the husband of that same woman. I said, oh wow. Oh, have I ever blown it. The man never said a word to me. But I, every time I'd drive past that place, I'd look for an opportunity. I said, sometime I'm going to have to stop and talk to that man. One day he was out there mowing his lawn. And as he was mowing his lawn, I said, this is my chance. His wife's somewhere else. I can talk to him here. So I pulled in there and I walked up to him and I said, Harvey, do you remember the other day I met you there? I said, I'm so sorry. I said, I just didn't see you and I am just sorry. Can you forgive me? And he was like... I don't think he said a word. Anyway, I felt like, okay, I'd done what I could. I wish I'd had a dozen cookies for him, but anyway, I didn't. Sometime later, he talked to one of the church brothers. He said, I don't know why I forgave that guy. He loved to hold a grudge, I guess. But anyway, it's too late. Well, he hadn't forgiven me, I guess, but at least he said he did. But there are times when it's just like that. And we have a responsibility to make our things right. We need to do it. We need to do it. It's a call of God upon our life to acknowledge our humanity when we fail and simply face our shortcomings. I took a piece of plastic clay, idly fashioned it one day, and as my fingers pressed it still, it bent and yielded to my will. I came again when days were past. The bit of clay was hard at last. The form I gave it still it bore, but I could change that form no more. I took a place of living clay, gently formed it day by day, molded it with power and art, a young child's soft and yielded heart. I came again when years were gone. He was a man. I looked upon him. The early imprint still he bore, but I could change him then no more. Parents, you have a tremendous responsibility and privilege. Let's stand for a word of prayer. Thank you, God, tonight for the word and thank you for our homes. And Lord, we realize that you have given us this responsibility to impact the next generation. I pray that you would help us to not shirk our responsibility. but to rather look into the scriptures and to see how you have dealt with your children and to emulate that as much as we can in our lives and in our hopes. Bless every grandparent here today. Help them to demonstrate to those that are after them the love that you would ask us to have for our partners and to show it as we sacrifice in behalf of our partners. Give living grace today So that when time comes for us to die, we can be able to have dying grace as well. In the name of Christ, we ask it. Amen.