We have a Bible this morning, and you'll read with us. We're going to take a reading from the book of Ephesians, chapter 6. The book of Ephesians, chapter 6. And this thought has been on my heart for a few weeks, and I feel very desirous to bring it before you today. And I suppose, in my mind, If there's an audience to this, it'll become very self-evident. It's to you younger people. And I think the implications of some of the things we're gonna teach today are very important for your consideration, and so I pray that you'll listen. Ephesians chapter six, beginning in verse one. It says, children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Servants, Be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and singleness of your heart as unto Christ. Not with eye service as men pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With good will, doing service as to the Lord and not to men. Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. and ye masters, do the same thing unto them, forbearing threatening, knowing that your master also is in heaven, neither is there respect of persons with him. That'll conclude our reading this morning, and our thought is gonna be contained really throughout this passage. We're gonna try to look at a number of things in this passage, and we may even flip around to some more passages. But the title of our message today is really drawn from the first part of this chapter. Honor God by honoring your parents. Honor God by honoring your parents. An essential thing to realize about commands, especially as they're found in the New Testament, is that there is a, perhaps tendency for people to clamor about trying to find what is the rule and I'm just gonna do it. Not realizing that behind God's word, there are deeper reasons and meanings. There's spiritual truth that lies behind commandments of obedience. In other words, God's word is not some simple thing that just impacts our lives here. God has designed in his wisdom instructions which have an incredible diversity of application. and the reasons for why he instructs us the way he does is not just children obey your parents because it makes life easier for your parents. There's all manner of spiritual reasons why God gives this command. And your willingness and obedience to this portion of scripture is very telling as to the future of your spiritual life, whether you realize it or not. The scriptures show us that God is an orderly God. He does not do things without, I say thought, as though in the same way we use it, I guess the right word would be purpose. God does things purposefully. He does things for His glory and our well-being and the well-being of those around us. And so, we have to know as we look at Scriptures like this, we have to pause for a moment and ask this question, why is this important? And secondly, realize as parents, most of the message today is gonna be instruction to children, but recognize as parents that whether we're okay in certain areas with our children being obedient or honoring us, it is not about what we're willing to tolerate, it's about what God has commanded. In other words, if you see a child, or if you have a child that's grossly disobedient, and you say, well you know what? Those things just don't bother me. It ought to. Not only for your sake, but foremost for God's sake. Now what we find in the Scriptures is that God is a God of order and he establishes clearly both in this passage but also hearkening back to the source of these passages, God has an order for a reason. We find in the very beginning that God had an order in creation. The first, the head of that order is God himself. God is master over all of creation. And yet, after He created the world and all that was in the world, He gave stewardship and authority to one creature over the remaining part of creation, and that was man. And despite the culture's attempt and academia's attempt to put us on par with other animals and say that our existence and our lives are equal to other animals or other parts of creation, that is not in accordance with God's intended order. You and I are more important than animals and infinitely so. God created it that way, so you have God, you have mankind, and you have the rest of creation. That is God's order. God actually has a, I don't think what you would call a created order, but a sanctioned order to some degree through the scriptures that can be found in Romans 13, that God in the political realm, he is king, whether people recognize that or not. God is the ruler of the universe, but he allows and permits leaders to rise up in power that he instructs us, even as his people, to be subject to those powers. Look at Romans chapter 13, if you will, for just a moment. trying to emphasize this morning, God's orderly creation. Listen to this in Romans 13, verse one. It says, let every soul, let every person, be subject unto the higher powers, for there is no power but of God. Now, not only is this strange, a strange way to define God, A hard thing to accept if you're living in a country like ours and you say, you know what? The president or former presidents are ones that I just don't like. And I know that they're doing things that are not all together in accordance with God's will. And you say, but the Bible says here that God is permitting them that they're in that position by his permissive will. and that we as people whom God has providentially placed here are commanded to be subject to the higher powers. He keeps reading here. The powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisted the power resists the ordinance of God. And they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. That just means condemnation. He continues a little further and he begins to say in verse six, For this cause pay you tribute also, for they are God's ministers and tending continually upon this very thing. Render therefore to all their dues, tribute to whom tribute is due, custom to whom custom, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor. This scripture is teaching us as God's people to be subject to our government. Obviously, there's a lot that we could say. What if your government compels you to sin? There's a whole discussion in those lines that I'm not gonna go into this morning, but in a general sense, I hope what you can say is that God established order and we are to submit to that order. The one we're talking about this morning, however, is God's order in the family. God is the head of every home. Your home. Now, it would probably be wise to talk a little bit more about that, but I'm not gonna do that at the moment, other than just to say, everyone in that home is accountable to how they obey God's commandments and the roles he has given within the home. I am going to give an account to God for being the father and the husband and the leader of my home. And that is something that is sobering and serious. A wife is going to be held responsible for the wife and the mother and the way to which that she obeys God's word in carrying out the responsibilities, the God-given responsibilities that he has given to her. And the scriptures even before this in Ephesians chapter five are replete with instructions to fathers and to mothers, to husbands and to wives as to the things that we are to do and the things that we are not to do. And regardless of the practical implications that it has within the home, pause for a moment and realize you will be held accountable to God on judgment day for the way that you lead your life in your home. And many of those things can be done in secret. And many of those things we can have our spouses and our children hide from the rest of the world. But listen, what happens in our home matters in so much that it's a means by which we glorify God. Many people, just like at the time Jesus instructed them on the Sermon of the Mount, they were obsessed with public displays of worship. And Jesus condemned those Pharisees for their obsession with the applause of men and how they conducted themselves. And listen, it doesn't matter if the whole world thinks you're a great husband, you're a great mother, that you're an obedient child, because that's what the facade you projected to the world What matters is the reality which is most often seen in the privacy of the home. Are you faithful with your heart to your wife and your wife to your husband? Do you seek to raise your children not just in church? I don't wanna just raise my kids in church. I wanna raise them unto the Lord. I want them to be seen as vessels of honor that God can use, both through the ministry of the church, but also completely independent of the church as a vessel of God's honor between him and them. What I care about here, well, let's continue with this text for just a few moments. There's two things that are taught here to you children. I want you to listen to this, please listen. This is important. This is what God is making you responsible for towards your parents. The first thing, children, obey your parents. But it doesn't stop there. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. Now, Brother Ron pointed this out a few weeks ago when we were finishing up 1 Thessalonians. He said something like, you know, he loves that passage because if you go back to the Greek, you know what it means? Exactly what it says. You don't need to find some deep, hidden meaning, and the same application can be made here. You know what obedience means. Do what your parents say, period. And if you're under the rule, under the authority, because we go back to the Garden of Eden and this is what we see. We see God having an order established that a husband or a wife formed this domain of authority upon which they are in charge of the home. and children are to submit to the one God has ordained within that domain to be an authority. And then God has given provisions for when that authority is to come to an end. He says when a man and a wife marry, they are now severing that form of authority and now they have their own domain of authority upon their own home. So you ask the question, I'm 25 years old and I'm living in my parents' basement. What do I do? You obey your parents. because that's the instruction that God has given. That's the domain of authority. And whether culture sets 18 or 21 or 50 as the point at which you're considered an adult, what God has established is an order that when you're in that home, they have authority over you. Now, there are parts of wisdom we could talk about, about parents giving autonomy and authority. There's a whole thing to delve into, but here's the point. Whenever you and I often, when we find a specific command in scripture, very often we can identify the rebellious heart inside of us by how quickly we try to look for an exception clause. You understand what I'm saying? Like if God gives a command, children obey your parents. And the first thing you seek after is, yeah, but what if? Well, first of all, you're probably not gonna meet the what if. But secondly, the immediate attempt to find the what if is likely an evidence of the state of your heart in rebellion. I just don't wanna do that. Obeying, parents, here's what God knew when he wrote this, your parents are imperfect. That's a hard thing to come to that understanding, isn't it? All you adults remember, some of you teens are maybe learning, not just like you know conceptually that your parents are imperfect, but you really begin to see the severity to which they are imperfect. you begin to realize that their decisions are not always driven by the most righteous of intentions. When God gave the instruction for children to obey their parents, he knew parents are not imperfect. And yet he said this, children, obey your parents. I'll ask this question this morning before we continue. And I believe it's 1 John 4, talks about how can we love God who we do not see, if we don't love our brother whom we do see. And if we apply that same pattern, Do you think, do I think that children who are rebellious, children who disregard the instructions of their parents, children who seek to somehow circumvent the commands and rules and regulations of parents to whom has so who clearly provided love and provision and well-being and has invested so much into them in a discernible way, do you think that as those children age, that if they're rebellious in that fashion, that then suddenly in this, when they're on their own and they're responsible for themselves, when they no longer have such clear evidences, that they'll then be obedient to that invisible God from whom all things come? And so in many ways what the home is doing, it is preparing in this state of obedience for a child to then in their life obey God. Why is it important for parents to enforce rules at home? I think in part of the reason is because it's an instructional way to teach your kids to follow the Lord outside of the home. It's important, it's necessary. Because listen, what if my parents, not only are they imperfect, but what if I don't like what they're telling me to do? I don't know if I should say this, I don't know, or not, but there's, I don't often like what the Lord tells me to do. My flesh doesn't like it. Very often, whether it be routine, regular things like not to be a selfish, self-interested, not allow my flesh to win the warfare. I don't like that. I want my flesh to be satiated. I want my pride to be indulged. I want the lust of my flesh and the lust of my eyes to be satisfied, and yet God commands me not to do those things. And so if I can't obey basic, most often, especially in this setting right here, well-intended, good instruction, good rules from parents, how do you think that's gonna translate when the Lord suddenly says, don't marry this person? Oh, but I'm deeply in love with them. All I can think about around the clock is that person. Their appearance is exactly all that I've imagined. Our compatibility is just perfect, but God says, don't marry that person. If your whole life, all you've been is given what you wanted and been permitted to disregard and disobey the commands and instructions that parents give, and then suddenly you have transitioned to being responsible for your own decision making. That rebellious spirit is not going to lead you to a good place. There is a training ground that God has established in the home that you obey your parents and the Lord, but listen, that's not all. because the text continues. And the reality is this, very often, and I've used examples like this before, children can obey and not honor their parents. Obedience, I do what they say, but it gives in no specific measure the way of which you're doing it. And that's what honoring is about. To obey and to honor are two different things. Obedience is I do it. Honoring is the attitude and submissiveness of my heart with which I obey my parents. So some people, I'm gonna speak to our older teens for a moment. Sometimes you obey your parents because they got the money. Right? It's a pragmatic thing. Well, if you don't obey what I say, I'm going to turn off your phone. If you don't obey what I say, I'm not gonna give you money. I'm not gonna take you over here and take you over there. And so the calculations of your obedience are not in being submissive to the Lord. It's not an attempt to honor the Lord. It's just merely a pragmatic, practical, selfish arrangement that you've made to ultimately get what you want. Is that mom and dad have the money and I still need it. And so listen, in that framework, you can obey your parents and not honor your parents. And your obedience merely be an example of how deeply selfish that you are. Sometimes people obey parents because they're more compatible with one than they are another. So maybe this morning, you and your mom, you and your dad, just don't get along. Maybe you're in a stage and in a season where there's constant friction. And so the tendency is, I'm going to avoid their commands and see if I can get the other parent to amend the previous command of the other parent. Because I'm more compatible with the one than I am the other. And so I'm going to prefer that one and obey that one, all the while in so doing, knowingly and intentionally dishonor the other parent with whom I'm not as compatible. Here's what I'm pointing out this morning is that that can be a slippery slope where you check the mark of obedience, but you dishonor your parents. Here's the interesting thing about obedience. Obeying our parents is something that has a limit. Honoring our parents is something that's for a lifetime. So for example, if my mom called me up and said, Brad, children obey your parents. Give me all your money. I could say without being disobedient to God's word, no. because this is my home and I have left the domain and I have cleaved to my spouse and now I am responsible here. But in the same way, in saying no to her, I can still honor her. Now, I'm not gonna get off on this tangent, but there becomes a dangerous thing that can happen when there is a leave and cleave situation, and yet kids are still trying to obey their parents, and there's a little pay to play between their parents and their children that, hey, if you'll just do what I say, then I'll give you this perk, and I'll give you this advantage, but listen, there is a value in leaving and cleaving the exact way the Lord commanded it. And it's not just for practical reasons, I believe it's for relational reasons that are above that, but I'm not gonna get into that this morning. Listen, you can obey your parents and not honor your parents. Honoring is an attitude. It's a spirit of submissiveness to your parents. The scriptures give us here in verses one and two, children obey your parents and Lord for this is right. honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. A little bit later down, it talks within a new context that would be appropriately transferred to like an employee-employer situation in today's world. It calls masters and servants, which we don't have today. Listen to what it says. when identifying the spirit of their obedience. Verse six, not with eye service as men pleasers, but as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart with goodwill doing service as to the Lord and not to men. Not with eye service. So here's a way for older children who have older parents, so you've cut away from them and you're your own now entity, you're your own authority, you're not having to submit to them. But listen, there's still a state of honor that you owe your parents until the day that you die, not just to the day that they die. Very often I've known children in my age group who are older or a little bit younger, who yes, they will have left and have cleaved to their own spouse, but in regards to their parents, they live a life embittered towards the way that they grew up and the things that their parents did, and they seem to do everything they can to poke in their heart at how much disdain they have for their parents. Don't do that. That's not honoring your parents. If every time me and my sisters get together, all we do is talk about how crazy mom is. That's not honoring your parents. There's a difference in seeking a solution to real problems that exist. and just finding some affirmation, finding some gratification out of dishonoring and disrespecting those whom God has placed over you. It's always funny when I hear kids know what was better for them when they were five years old than their parents did in real time. In other words, they know in hindsight, knowing none of the surrounding details, exactly what mom and dad should have done. Not knowing the struggle and complexity and perhaps how difficult mom and dad made decisions. Listen, there are times in life, in case you don't know, where there's no good decision to be made. Where life is hard and it presents you, all it presents you are rotten apples. And you have to pick something I can speak for Kathleen and I that very often when we have our boys and we gotta make decisions for them, we don't know what to do. And we look to the Lord and we seek counsel from the wisdom of others and we say, listen, there's no good option. And then we, with great reluctance, take a step forward, praying that God would be honored and our children would be benefited by the decisions we're making. And then after the fact, we at times can look back with deep regret, with a understanding that's still in conflict, never being fully satisfied that we made the right decision. Having had that experience now, you know what it causes me to do looking back? Give a little bit more grace to that single mom who did the best that she could. From my vantage point, even when she didn't always do the right thing, I'm still commanded to honor her. And you are too. And I want to say for a moment this. Why is this important beyond the fact that it's going to teach you how to submit to God? It's a chilling thing when you go through Romans chapter one and you begin to read about the disintegration of a culture. and all manners of sin, and within Christendom, it's a popular one to point out how that men will desire to have men and women will desire to have women in a sexual way, that that's one of the many generational signs of a culture. But do you know what else is found in that list? Being disobedient to parents. So here's an exercise for you if you're a young person. Go and write down a list of all the things in that. Now if you go to the King James, there's a lot of words you're not gonna understand, so you maybe have to get out a dictionary. Go Google it. What those things meant in the original language. Write out all the things and then recognize that being disobedient to parents is one among many of the signs, many of the things that God hates in a culture that is being torn down and destroyed. is that we have this attitude, and listen, that is prevalent through our culture to such a degree that's embarrassing. When I was in school, when I taught, rather, the level of disregard and disrespect, the level of, by both, this is my experience, I'm not saying it's the case around here, I can only speak to where I was at, the level of, The degree to which people condescendingly spoke about parents, be it teachers, be it students, made me feel like at times I was living in this warped world, which I was. This idea that parents are antiquated, ignorant, stupid, And let's grant for a moment, let's say that they are, okay? Let's just say for a moment that you're in one of those situations where your parents are not what they ought to be. And they don't do always things that are in your best interest. What should you do? I'll tell you, as long as they're the ones that God has providentially placed over you, you should obey them. And as long as they have breath, you ought to honor them. That's a tricky situation. That's something that oftentimes requires the wisdom of older people to help guide young people through, how do I honor my parents in this situation? But to think that at any point you have a license to just disregard and disobey entirely the desire of your parents. We don't have that prerogative. God has ordered the world in a way that we owe them our honor. And God takes it offensively when people are disobedient to parents. I think one of the things, and I'm gonna close that, if you're lost today, and the projection God has put in your heart is, you know what, I'm a good kid. I don't go out and get in trouble in school and I don't do these things. Let me ask you a question. What is the attitude with which you submit to the authority of your parents on a daily basis? Oh man, when I hit 13 or 15, if somebody asked me that question, it had been convicting. Because very often I was compliant, but not with an honorable attitude. Most of the time, my compliance came within the framework of if I continue to just be compliant, then I'll get some perks and benefits. And the last thing on my mind that was there was how can I honor the Lord through honoring my parents? But listen, that's what he's trying to teach here, that there are many ways in which we can indirectly worship God. Remember Matthew chapter 25, whatever Jesus is teaching them, and he says, Something of the nature is that you fed me, and you clothed me, and you gave me water to drink, and they said, Lord, when did we do that? And he said, when you did it unto the least of them, you did it unto me. Man, if you apply that same standard to children with parents. What if God and judgment, this is one of the many reasons I think judgment's gonna be a shock to all of us, You were non-compliant every day over and over and over again to me. And you say, when did I do that? I didn't do that. When the God-ordained authority that I put in your life day to day, you deliberately disobeyed, with contempt. That's when you did it. Because I ordered it in the way that I intended. They're doing things on my behalf or under my authority. Young people, it will not come without cost to your spiritual life to disregard your parents. Both in action and in attitude. It's a sin that should be sincerely repented of. If there is this constant, regular tone in the home, very often you get to a stage and the very home is defined by the rebellion of the kid towards the parent. It is always this tug of war that is going on day after day after day, and that begins to swallow up the home. And even if technically every time the parent wins, there is great sin that persists in the home. Children, Obey your parents, honor your father and your mother, and if you don't, repent and do it. That's God's command and His order, and let me tell you, He means it for good. I pray today. I'm gonna quit, but The importance of this is real. If you're a young lady and you're looking for a husband, look at how your prospective spouse treats his parents. And you're getting a window into how he's going to treat you. I mean, really. Because do you know there are times when, as the husband who's the leader of my home that I still at times to love my wife submit to her will. She wants to do something, I really don't. But because I love her, I submit. If you've got a young man who will not submit to the God-ordained authority in his home when he's young, vice versa. If you're running out past curfew all the time with that pretty girl, and she speaks contemptuously about her parents, what do you think is gonna happen 20 years from now whenever you aren't budding in love? Who do you think that her wrath, who do you think that her contempt is gonna be directed towards? There's so many things that we could talk about this. And human nature and experience reiterates over and over and over again that this is what so often happens. And yet there's the proud, presumptuous heart of the young person, well, it won't happen to me. You don't know her. You don't know me. You don't know the way our relationship, you don't know. that same thing has been echoed for thousands of years. And after having echoed for thousands of years, God says to write to his church simply, children, obey your parents and honor them. Because God knows something. I like to think, as God's writing the New Testament, that he's looking back over hundreds and hundreds of generations having witnessed all the tendencies of human nature, all the tendencies of how cultures function, and him coming to this place where he is summarizing and streamlining, here's what you need to know. He doesn't give all these caveats. I pray the Lord will reveal you the importance, the significance, both to you, to your parents, And most of all, to the glory of the Lord that it is to just obey and honor them. That's our message this morning. I certainly don't feel like I was able to express what's in my heart today, but I pray the Lord would. I pray the Lord would.