We want to thank you for listening to this week's sermon from Harvest Bible Chapel, Kansas City. We pray that you will be encouraged and challenged by God's Word today. If you would like more information about Harvest, please visit our website at www.harvestkansascity.org. And now, here's Pastor Jeff Terrell. Let's grab our Bibles and turn to 1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter chapter 3, as we continue our study of this great letter. We just encourage you, if you don't have a Bible, just our ushers will be coming forward. Just let them know that you would like one. I think they're coming forward. Maybe they're not coming forward. They might come forward. We'll see. So if you guys need Bibles, Kurt, do you mind just grabbing a stack of Bibles and just coming forward and let Kurt know. Let's thank Kurt. Welcome, Kurt. He's gonna bring Bibles forward if you guys need a Bible, grab one of those. It's on page 1015 in those Bibles so you can make sure that you're following along. And this morning we have an opportunity to continue to unpack the passage that Kurt actually preached last week that was focused on how do we keep our conduct pure before the onlooking unbelieving world. That's really what Peter is unpacking in this section, is how do we practically live in such a way where the onlooking world sees that we're different, and as we'll see next week in the passage, they'll begin to ask questions about why are you so different? That's the ultimate objective with this. And so last week we looked specifically at how we submit to government, how we submit to our employers, and how the ultimate example of that is Jesus Christ. Well, this morning as we look at this passage, I want you to highlight the first word in chapter three, verse one, see what it says. It says, likewise. So what we're doing as we approach this passage this morning is we are continuing to pull the thread that Kurt wonderfully preached last week, and that is keeping our conduct before the unbelieving world in such a way that it is pure before our God and that it attracts them to ask questions. Now this morning, we're going to be focusing on some relationships that get a little complicated. And yes, it's complicated when the government that is before us doesn't act righteously. Yes, it's complicated when our employer doesn't treat us fairly, but it especially gets complicated when the issues of relationship are on the home front. when it's within the family. Because in government, we can move to a different country. In our workplace, we can take a different job. But when it comes to family, those relationships are there and there's not a whole lot we can do with it. And so this morning, the passage we're going to be looking at will highlight how we live in such a way that our conduct is pure before the onlooking world. And it gets complicated by three verses that I want to highlight. Look at verse one. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands. 3. Do not let your adorning be external. 7. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. And the soundtrack of life goes... But I highlight these three verses because if we were to take a survey of how these three topics and how these three verses would be received by the onlooking world, how do you think they would respond? That's great. Yes, wives should submit to their husbands. Yes, it shouldn't be about what they wear on the outside. Yes, husbands should love their wives because after all, women are weaker vessels. That's not what would be exciting for the world watching, would it? In fact, I would beg to argue that it would probably be something that the world would say, hey, this is out of touch. This is old school. Maybe people used to think and live this way, but not today. And listen, beloved, eyes up here. I want to make sure that you understand that's no different than the first century. It's always been that God's standards are received by the onlooking world, by the culture who hears them as either odd or old school. That's never changed. And the same is true today. But I want you to hear this. The gospel transcends culture. Did you get that? That might be a good thing to write down because it's going to be on the test. The gospel transcends culture. That's why Paul in Galatians 3.28 said, in Christ, there is neither Jew nor Gentile. There is neither slave nor free. There is neither male nor female. Why? Because these cultural definitions do not apply within the gospel community. We are gospel-centered, we are Christ-centered, and we are biblically founded, and that flies in the face of our culture. And so what I want you to see this morning is that by the instruction to husbands and to wives on the home front, there are actually principles that go against what our culture would say. And I want us to walk away from here actually understanding and living these principles, why? Because look at the big idea of the text in your notes. Do you see what it says? It says that living faithfully enjoys expectation. Let me just stop right there. I'm actually now, I'm expositing my statement. But I wanna make sure that we understand that living faithfully is not an idealistic living. I think it's easy to come to church week in and week out and hear what the Bible says and think, wow, that's so out of touch with my life. There is no way I can live this way. And in fact, if I live this way, this, this, and this are not gonna work out. Isn't it easy to look at scripture that way? And yet what I want you to see is that living faithfully enjoys expectation, and the expectation is of internal and external hope. That's what this is all about. So I want us to see four promises this morning, that if we live out the gospel in our home fronts, we can have expectations of internal and external hope. And you might be sitting here saying, wow, I am not married, so this doesn't apply to me. Or you might be sitting here saying, you know what? I am in a relationship at home. I've figured it out. My husband or my wife, they're not followers of Christ. So listen, this is the idealistic model, but it doesn't apply to me. This does apply to every one of us. Whether we're married or whether we are single, whether we are in relationships where there is a husband and a wife that are followers of Christ or not, these principles apply to us. Why? Because of the likewise. It is reminding us of principles that are being pulled through the thread, the thread that's being pulled through this passage to remind us how to live in such a way that our conduct is pure before the onlooking world. And so if you're single, listen, you can prepare yourself if God wants you to be married. If you're single and you don't ever think that you're gonna be married, you can help out those in our church who are married. You can help out friends and family who are married by living out these principles in such a way that you're instructing them and you're encouraging them and you're praying for them. So let's see four promises that are unpacked in the text. I would encourage you to write these down. The first one is submission grows and guides. Submission grows and guides the individual who submits. Verse one, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands. Let's stop right there. Look at this instruction. It says, wives, be subject to your own husbands. Do you see any qualifiers right there in that phrase that I just read? Wives, be subject to your husbands, unless this. It's not there. Wives everywhere are to be subject to their own husbands. What does subject mean? Subject, as Kurt was great to define it last week, means a willing obedience, a joyful obedience, a willing deferring to somebody that is instructing you or authority over you. It says wives are to be subject to their own husbands. Now this is one thing if the husband is godly and humble, isn't it? And even that is not easy to do. But it gets a little bit more complicated when that's not the case. Now before we dig into that, let me just explain to you what submission is not. In fact, David Helm helps out tremendously in his commentary on 1 Peter. Listen to this. Submission does not mean that when a husband asks you to abandon your faith in Christ, you do it. Submission does not mean that if He asks you to sin, you sin. Submission does not mean that you always agree with Him and never present a differing view. Submission does not mean that if He is unfaithful, you have no biblical recourse. Submission does not mean that if He abuses you physically or with incessant verbal humiliation, that you remain quietly in the home and accept daily cruelty at all costs. That's not what this submission means. And eyes up here, I know there are some people in our church that might be living in this type of scenario. Let me just encourage you, there is a recourse. The recourse is if it's a lady in the church, seek out your female small group leader. It might be a man in the church, seek out your male small group leader. And you may say, well, I don't have a small group. Okay, well, you can take care of that this fall. But for now, seek out an elder or his wife. Beloved, we have men and women in this church who are biblically grounded, Christ-centered, and by their patterns of life, living for the glory of Christ, seek them out because you need help. You need strength. If nothing else, you just need a listening ear and somebody to pray for you that you can just text them and say, hey, I'm struggling today. Somebody to pray for you. So wives are to submit to their husbands so long as it doesn't violate our ultimate authority in life, which is God. But look what it says in verse one. So that even if some do not obey the word, So again, the instruction that Peter is making here is to all wives everywhere to be submissive to their husbands, and he's saying that there might be a scenario, although it's expected to be the exception in the church, there might be a scenario where the husband is not obedient to the word. Now, I want you to understand the significance of the statement that Peter is making here. We have to go back to the context of the Roman Empire. In the Roman Empire, it was expected that wives would take on the religion of their husbands. Because in the Roman Empire, the husband was supreme. And so what would happen is you might have this religion of Judaism, but your husband now worships the emperor, so it didn't matter what your Judaism commitments were, you now worship the emperor. That was what was expected in the Roman Empire. And in the Roman Empire, what mostly happened was that two individuals would get married and then one of them would come to Christ. And most likely it was the woman, the wife. And so what she would do is she understood that it is not compatible to take on a religion other than biblical Christianity for Christians. Did you hear that? Same thing applies today. It's not okay to say, oh, I'm a biblical Christian and I'm a Mormon. It's not okay to say I'm a biblical Christian and I'm a Catholic. I'm a biblical Christian and I'm a Muslim. You get the point. And so there's a conflict that is brewing here if the wife says now I'm a follower of Christ because she cannot adhere to the religion of her husband and that would create waves. Now the husband would do one of two extremes or somewhere in between. The first one is he would just ignore her religion. He would just ignore it. She would get up on Sunday, she would go be with the fellowship of believers, and he would just be indifferent. When she got home, he'd have nothing to say about it. He would just ignore it as though her relationship with her God did not exist. Now, that's painful enough, isn't it? And some of you might be in a situation like that, where your husband is saying, you know what, you just live your life, go ahead and do it, but let's not talk about it. And that's painful. We have family members who are not followers of Christ. And when we get together for family gatherings or holidays, I mean, you can only talk about sports for so long, right? You can only talk about work. I wanna talk about Christ. I wanna talk about what I've been learning in God's word. I wanna talk about theology. I wanna say, hey, did you see this in the news? Do you see how God is orchestrating all of this? But you know what? Some of them don't care. and they're indifferent, and that's painful. So that's one side of the equation that was painful for these wives, but then there's another side over here where they were actually being harsh against them. They were actually verbally persecuting them. They were actually physically abusing them, and that's painful. And so what Peter is saying here is that even if you're in that situation, verse two, keep your conduct pure. Love that. And this is where we get into submission actually grows you. Because look what it says in verse two. When they see your respectful and pure conduct. I wanna hone in on pure conduct. This is a very interesting concept. Because in order for you to have pure conduct, in order for you to be able to say that the characteristics of your life are that you have pure conduct, it means that you have been refined by testing. If you have pure conduct, that means you have been refined by testing. Ouch! Let me just pause and have you look up here for a minute. If you signed up for a Christianity that promised health, wealth, and prosperity, that's not biblical Christianity. Let me go a step further. If you signed up for a Christianity that promises comfort and that tomorrow will be the same as today, that's not biblical Christianity. Biblical Christianity is that you signed up to a life of trials. Dun dun dun. But why is that? It's because the trials grow us. And sometimes those trials are the result of our sin. Sometimes those trials are lessons that God has for us to learn. But they're always intended to grow us. So Peter is saying that do not be surprised. In fact, he will say that in chapter four in verse 10. Do not be surprised when you experience fiery trials. Do not be surprised when in your marriage you have a spouse who is not pursuing Christ. Don't be surprised, why? Because God has that in your life to grow you. And so don't look at that as something that is God as a cosmic killjoy. God is intending that to be in your life to grow you. And as you live in such a way where you are submitting to your husband with joy, so long as it doesn't violate scripture, your husband's gonna be like, what? And yes, he may persecute you. Yes, he may ignore you. But the bottom line is he sees Christ in you. That's what God is doing in your life through a spouse who's not following after Christ. So submission grows you, but then it also guides you. How does it guide you? Look at verse one. So that even if they do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. That's awesome. That's your mission. When you wake up in the morning and all of a sudden the weight of the person sleeping next to you is not a follower of Christ, remember you have a mission today. That mission is to guide him to Christ through your conduct, not necessarily your words. Do you see what it says there? So that he may be one without a word. The phrase without a word actually means without propaganda. Write that down. It means without propaganda. That doesn't mean that you don't talk about the gospel. It doesn't mean if God gives you a red apple opportunity to present the gospel, you don't do it. It means that you're not gonna manipulate him with propaganda. That's what propaganda is. I've become fascinated by World War I and World War II just recently. My dad is here. We went with my daughters, my oldest daughters, to the World War I Museum, which by the way, that place is amazing if you've never been. It just gives you such an appreciation for what the men and women of that generation went through, and then World War II just a couple decades later. I was watching Dunkirk the other day, and I was watching how the Germans dropped down pamphlets of propaganda to the people who were living in Dunkirk. And you can actually see actual propaganda that they dropped in archives. And what the Germans did is that they drew a map that showed Dunkirk, and they showed how that they've got all of the allies surrounded, and they basically said, you have no hope, surrender, and we'll treat you well. Now, a few Germans did treat prisoners well, but we do have a lot of stories that they executed them. And so what propaganda is, is giving some of the information for the purpose of manipulating. And so what Peter is saying here is that look, that's not how you're gonna win your spouse. You're not gonna win your spouse by cutting words, by sarcasm. You're not gonna win your spouse by manipulating him through propaganda. You're gonna win your spouse by being Christ to him. And that is a guide for us. as we walk through this difficult journey of being unequally yoked. I love the wonderful illustration of this. Augustine and his book, The Confessions. describes his mom like this. She served her husband as her master and did all she could to win him for Christ. Speaking to him of Christ by her conduct, by which Christ made her beautiful. Finally, when her husband was at the end of his earthly span, she gained him for Christ. Beloved, there's hope in that. But there's also mission in that. And listen, all of us can suck it up for a day, can't we? And maybe we can suck it up for weeks or for months, but for even years, but at some point it gets old, doesn't it? And I'm not just saying in a marriage relationship, I'm talking about just living faithfully where it doesn't seem to be blessed by God. It gets old sometimes, doesn't it? But listen, what God is reminding us through this passage is that our mission is to guide people through our conduct to Christ, especially in a situation where a wife is living with an unbelieving husband. May this motivate us, may this inform us. Submission. Not only guides, but it also grows us. There's a second promise in the text. Adorning deflects and develops. Adorning deflects and develops. Look at verse three. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing that you wear. Let's stop right there. Unless we think that the Romans in the first century are so different than us, the same is true with the women of today. The women of today are inundated by the pictures that they see, by the magazine advertisements, by walking into the malls. If any of you go to the malls anymore, we're inundated by, you need this. And so were the ladies of the Roman Empire. In fact, these three areas are well attested with secular history. In fact, the braiding of the hair. The women would build these massive towers on top of their head. And they would put combs and different, sometimes they'd put nails to be able to keep these tears in place. And tears like, you know, levels. And they would be afraid at night of falling asleep. Why? Because somehow the Tower of Pisa might fall. And so they would see their friend and be like, she has 10 tears. She has 10 layers and I only have nine. Ooh, I better go to the beautician. This was constantly a measure of your status in the society. But it also says jewelry. And they would gather jewelry on just about every aspect of their body, their wrists, their fingers, their necks, and they would put jewelry everywhere. They would even put it in the layers of their hair. And then the clothing, what he's talking about here is he's talking about many, many, many, many, many garments of clothing. See, in the ancient world, it was normal to just have maybe one or two garments of clothing, but these ladies would have massive wardrobes. And the same can be a temptation for us today, for the ladies today, especially when it comes to this, can't it? I mean, just walk into Nordstrom. We were actually there last night. There's all of these signs. This is the sale of the year. And apparently, according to my wife, it's a pretty good sale. But what are they telling you through this is that, hey, because it's on sale, you need this. And then when you go by all of the pictures, I love how my girls, like when we're going by the perfume counters and they've got all these pictures of ladies that should be wearing more clothes, my girls are like, daddy, don't look. I appreciate that. These ladies, they tell me, are airbrushed. And they're looking happy or like seductive, like you wear this and mm. I don't know where that came from. But look at the magazines, and it's telling you, you need this. Look at the Hollywood actresses, and it's, you need this hairstyle. This is inundating our ladies today. And so Peter is drilling down on this that was the same then as it is now, and he's saying, do not let your adorning be external. Now, some people have gone to extremes with this and been like, no braiding, no jewelry, and see, what they need to do if they're gonna be consistent is no clothing. Because that's literally what this says, is that it's saying clothing. And so that's not what Peter's saying here. He's not saying that braids, I'm looking out to see if there's any braids. Actually, I'll stop, I can't really see you all very well. But some of you are wearing jewelry. I thank you that you all have clothes on. That's not what Peter's saying here, and the New American Standard captures this very well. It says, do not let your adorning be merely external. Because after all, what does adorning mean? It means accessories to draw attention to beauty. That's what it means. And so if you are looking at articles of clothing or your possessions for the purpose of drawing attention to yourself, then that's what Peter's talking about. if people know you by the styles that you wear. See, what happens a lot of times is that you choose articles of clothing that will either emphasize or hide aspects of your physical reality, right? And so if you're trying to make decisions on your styles so that it draws attention to physical features or it hides physical features to make you be something that you're not, then Peter says be careful. Because that's not what the adorning is. That's not the attention that we're supposed to be drawing to ourselves. It actually deflects. Our adorning should deflect. And what does that look like? Look at verse four. The most important word in verse four is actually the conjunction but. And there are two words in the original language that are translated but. This one is an emphatic. So there's one but that you can find in the sentence that would say, okay, this is a contrast, but this one is like, contrast, contrast! And so Peter's drawing attention to the reader by using this word and he says, contrast, let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart. You can write out to the side, hidden person of the heart is your character. It's your character. And he gives a couple examples of that. What are some examples of character? A gentle and quiet spirit. This means not somebody who's just always talking, always drawing attention to themselves, always being loud. And what I love about this is that it's actually a spirit of deference which flows right in the context of our text. It's not demanding rights. In fact, David Helm writes this, and I would encourage you ladies, think about this if you didn't this morning. When you wake up in the morning, arise, tell yourself this sentence, arise, put your feet on the ground, and get dressed from the inside out. Did you do that this morning? This morning, did you get dressed from the inside out? And you may say, well, pastor, how does that happen? Well, it can happen by being in the Word first thing in the morning. It can happen that as you're going through your wardrobe and your closet, that you're actually praying, okay, God, how can I draw attention to you through what I wear? It's a mindset. Let your adorning be the character of your life. Dress yourself from the inside out, and I love what it says, is that this is imperishable beauty, isn't it? And what a contrast that is with the braids of hair. If you sleep on it wrong, the tower falls. The jewelry can tarnish. The gems can be lost. The clothing can be out of style and get holes in it. But this is imperishable beauty. Your character is imperishable. I love that. Here's what I want to ask you, ladies. What drives your fashion? What drives your fashion? Here's a question that's probably even more practical because some of you are like, I care less about fashion. Here's my question. How much time do you spend getting ready? How much time do you spend searching on the internet for the new styles as compared to developing your inner character? That gets really practical, doesn't it? And so some of you are like, I could care less about style, I could care less about trends, but what else are you doing if you're not cultivating your inner character and your inner beauty? When people think of you as the first thing they think of is character, Proverbs 31. Adorning deflects and it also develops. How does it develop? Look at the end of verse four. that this imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. I love that. In God's sight, that's what matters. Even the sight of your husband and what he thinks of you is not the most important measure in your life. Even your girlfriends that will give you critiques or blessings and encouragement on your style is not what's most important in your life. What matters in your life is what does God say? And listen, man, this is also for us. The measure of us is not career status, it's not possessions, it's what does God say? And if God says something is precious, it needs to be most precious in our life. Do you see how this develops us? It develops our thinking. And my question to you ladies is, are you cultivating this type of adorning? Because if you do, it will deflect to Christ and develop you to think more like him. There's a third promise in our text, and that's faithfulness ratifies and reinforces. Faithfulness ratifies and reinforces. Look at verse five. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands. Now, I like to grab from the outline, when I give an outline, something directly from the text. And you may say, well, I don't see anything here about faithfulness, but it's the tense of the verbs. Well, some of you are like, wait, what? Well, if you've been coming to Harvest for a while, you know that there is a tense of the verbs in the original language, which is a present. That is indicating that there are patterns or consistencies or faithfulness. And so what Peter is referring to here is that these holy women were faithful in their patterns of consistency and in their patterns of their character. It says, for this is how holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting, present tense, to their own husbands. This was their character and their faithfulness. Now, let me just ask you a question. For those of you who are familiar with God's word, especially the Old Testament, if I was to ask you to give me an example of a holy lady in the Old Testament, who would you say, don't answer because I want to go a certain direction on this? But how about Esther? I mean, would you say she's a holy one? I mean, Esther, you just read that entire book, it's like every time she turns around, she's making a holy decision. She was an amazing woman. How about Ruth? Would that be another one? I mean, this is a young lady, her husband dies, her mother-in-law says, I'm going back to my homeland. Okay, there's two strikes against her right there. First of all, it's going back to her homeland and his mother-in-law. But what does Ruth say? No, no, no, I'm not gonna stay in my land. I'm going back to your land and your people will be my people and your God will be my God. Surely Peter's gonna use Ruth as the example of the Holy One, right? Verse six, as Sarah. Now for those of us who went through the book of Genesis together, you know the story of Sarah. Sarah is not on the Mount Rushmore of godly women in my mind. I mean, this is a real woman who spoke her mind. She was deceitful. And yet, Peter uses her as an example. Why? Because we can relate to her. It's hard to relate to Esther that I'm so beautiful that the king will just see me and choose me of all the women in the land. or of Ruth, that she's gonna be a great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great mother of Christ, and so this is all part of God's plan. We can't relate to that, but we can relate to Sarah. Sarah struggles with faith. She struggles with God's promise that she cannot see. Look at even the example of verse six. It says that she called Abraham Lord. What's interesting is that if you actually go back to the story of Sarah and Abraham, the only time that it mentions her saying that Abraham was her Lord was Genesis 18, 12. You can look at this later. And in Genesis 18, 12, she's actually responding to the angel of the Lord. The angel of the Lord says, this time next year, I don't know if he said it like that, but it sounds better. This time next year, you will have a son. And what does she do? She laughs. She's cynical, and in her cynical laughter, she calls her husband Lord. Now, I don't know if that's what Peter was specifically referring to, but here's what I do want us to see, is that Peter recognized that the pattern of Sarah's behavior was faithfulness. Sisters, are you encouraged by that? that there will be snapshots of your life where it just gets old and you say something and you're like, ah, that doesn't honor Christ. What Christ is interested in is what is the pattern of your life? Write this down. God is interested in not snapshots, but patterns. That's the Christian life. How many of us have times in our lives where if God was sitting in the heavens taking a Polaroid snapshot of our life, we'd be like, not that! God's not interested in that. He's interested in the patterns of our lives. That's why Sarah is given as an illustration because the pattern of her life was faithfulness. You may say, well, you know what? But wait, Sarah was married to Abraham, right? He is on the Mount Rushmore of faithfulness. Yeah, but do you remember Genesis chapter 20 and verse 13? This is when Abraham was before Abimelech, and it says in Genesis 20, 13, that every place that they went, Abraham told his wife to lie about who she was, putting her life in jeopardy. This is not a man who was always godly. And so, sisters, let this be an encouragement to you, is that God encourages us to have faithfulness, patterns of faithfulness, and listen, that is what ratifies our faith. What is a ratification? It's making it active, making it real. This is Christianity. When something is ratified and made real, it proves its authenticity. And God uses trials in our lives, beloved, to ratify our faith. You may not believe me. Write down these verses. Psalm 119, verse 71. Psalm 119.71 says, it was good that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statutes. Hebrews 5.8, speaking of Christ, He learned obedience through what He suffered. In our letter, 1 Peter 1, verses six through seven, it says, if necessary, you are grieved by various trials so that the tested genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold, may result in praise. Beloved, God uses trials in our lives to prove our faith to grow and mature us. Listen, sister, let these words educate your feelings. Let these words break through the thin ice of your doubt. See, if you have doubt in your lives and you allow it to get thick, you can't see what's under it, and what's under it is the clarity that God is faithful. Remember these verses. The pain that you are experiencing in your life ratifies your faith. Eyes up here because this is so important. This is an epidemic in our community and in our culture today. There are many who claim Christ because of Ephesians 2, 8, and 9. 70% of Americans would say, we are Christians, and they would even maybe believe Ephesians 2, 8, and 9. It says, by grace you have been saved through faith, and that's not of yourselves, it's the gift of God, not of works so that nobody can boast. And they would say, yep, I believe that. And they'll say that with their words, but they forget about verse 10, is you get saved to produce good works. You get saved, and the evidence of it is verse 10, is that we are created for good works. And there is no classroom that is greater to evidence good works than when you are suffering. It's easy when your employer is a great employer. It's easy when your husband is a great husband. It's easy when your government is righteous. But what happens when you suffer? That's when you get to say, is your faith real? How do you respond to that? See, our faithfulness ratifies, but it also reinforces. It reinforces, look at verse six at the end of it. and says do not fear anything that is frightening. Do not fear anything that is frightening. Beloved, Peter is not minimizing the pain and the threats of living in a relationship where your husband is not a believer. He's not minimizing that. But here's what he is saying. What he's saying is do not let the intimidation of your husband derail you from faithfulness. That's what he's saying. Do not let the intimidation or the threats of your husband derail you from faithfulness. You are called to faithfulness, and so do not get derailed by the threats or the intimidation of your husband. And listen, that's painful, it's hurtful, and Peter's not minimizing that, but what he's doing is he's saying through these two verses how you can actually live that way, and I skipped over what the motivation is. Go back to verse five. It says, for this is how the holy women who hoped in God, underline that, beloved, that is your motivation. And those three words are so important, but the most important one is the preposition. It's two letters. It's in. John Piper, I've been listening to him a ton lately and just been so blessed by recalibrating my mind on the things that truly matter. And Piper says this, is that in our trials, we need to make sure that we're not hoping for, but we're hoping in. Do you hear the significance of that contrast? See, when we're in trials, we often hope for change, don't we? We hope for relief. And there's nothing wrong with wanting those things, but we're not placing our hope in that. We're placing our hope in God. That's it. And so when our hope is in God, when our hope is in His character, when we say, yes, I believe this, I own it, then when we're intimidated by husbands, when you are intimidated by the threats of your husbands, you can say, okay, I don't want that to happen, but listen, I'm hoping that God will be faithful, that if I live the way He says He's to live, that He will be faithful to His character. And that reinforces. And beloved, I'm gonna say something that especially if you're in pain right now, you may say, well, pastor, you don't have a clue. And yes, I'm blessed that I don't have a clue of what it's like to live with an unbelieving spouse. That's my blessing. And I know that may be your pain. But I'm gonna bridge out of this context as I make this statement. Bridge out of the husband-wife relationship. I'm just gonna talk to those of us who are going through trials. And I've got my own journey. And here's what I want us to remember, is that if you look at your life and there's no sin that you're aware of, no sin that you're harboring, there's no foolishness that you're living out that you're saying, okay, God, you can have all the rest of my life, but this little area of foolishness is my little sinful delight. As long as none of those apply to you, then listen to this, whatever you are experiencing is God's best for you. You feel the weight of that? I want my reality to change, and I'm sure you do too. But if you're not sinning and you're not living foolishly, then whatever you're experiencing in your life is God's best for you. And so what we do is we just rest in his character. And that reinforces us, that gives us courage to continue to live forward faithfully, and our faithfulness ratifies the gospel in our life. Now it's the men's turn. Last promise, number four. Understanding adores and assists. It adores and assists, verse seven, likewise husbands. Now the likewise there, again, doesn't mean that we're supposed to submit to our wives. That's not what it's saying. It's pulling the thread through that our conduct is to be pure before the onlooking world so that they will glorify God in the day of visitation. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. Okay, that's not easy. And it's not because men are from Mars or Jupiter or wherever it is, and the women are from Venus or Jupiter or, I don't know, I should have probably prepared before I said that. It's not because of the difference between men and women. It's hard because of what this concept means. When Peter says live with your wives in an understandable way, that's knowledge in two categories, write this down, what God says about her and what I've learned about her. That's what it means. When I am supposed to live with my wife in an understandable way, I am supposed to know and learn and be an expert on what God says about her and what I've learned about her. Let's talk about the first one. God says that a godly wife is to be treasured above all possessions. Really? That's what Proverbs 31 says. I actually read that this morning. Is that how I view my wife? Because that's how he views her. I'm supposed to adore her. I'm supposed to honor her. How do I honor her? By studying her. And listen, I am not good at this. And that's a not, I'm not good at this, but y'all need to be type of statement. I mean, I've already asked my wife in preparation, that's the beauty of preaching God's word is you're like, ugh, gotta take care of some things before I preach. So I'm a work in progress, but here's what this means, is that you dwell with your wife in an understandable way by studying your wife, by not just seeing her and listening to her with your eyes and your ears, but listening with your heart. You may say, well, pastor, what does that look like? It looks like this. That means that when she's talking to you, I'm not on my phone. That means when she's talking to me, I'm not thinking about work. I'm not thinking about the emails that are piling up. I'm not thinking about strategies. And I'm just like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. No, no, no, I'm engaged. And I'm not just listening to words. I'm looking at physical responses. I'm studying what things delight her. When her eyes get big over something that she sees and she desires, I'm paying attention to that. That's what I'm supposed to be doing. That's living with our wives in an understandable way. It's adoring them. And the text actually says, look what it says, showing honor. We men are very good at showing honor to our man cave, aren't we? Man cave's pretty clean. It's filled with technology or whatever your man cave is. We're good at protecting our technology. We're good about making sure we have possessions and toys that we enjoy. But how are we in adoring our wives? We're showing honor to them. But then it also says a statement that informs why we're adoring them and gives us a better understanding of how God sees them. Look what it says in verse seven. Showing honor to the woman. Now this word actually is bringing us up out of the husband and wife relationship and talking about all women, of which obviously our wife is a subset. But he's saying, show honor to all women why they're weaker vessels. Now, don't get offended by this. This is the creator giving an analysis of his creation. He's saying that they are weaker physically because that's the way he designed them. And so he's saying, look, they are a weaker vessel, but, look at this, they are also heirs with you of the grace of life. Now this can mean a number of different things, and I don't have time to dig into all the different positions on it, but here's what I believe this means. I believe that what Peter is saying is he's saying, think about them eternally and not physically. See, in the physical realm, in this temporary realm, there are different hierarchies. In the home, a husband is the authority, the wife is to submit. That is the reality. In this earthly realm, physically, most women are less strong than men, physically speaking, sometimes emotionally. But the fact of the matter is, is those differences are limited to this physical life. In eternity, everything is the same. Now, a lot of people will attack Scripture and say, oh, well, you know what? These men are just male chauvinists. And they think they belittle women. That's not what this is. In fact, that's the point Peter is making, is he's saying, look, there is nothing different in terms of value between men and women, because in eternity, they're all the same. But here on earth, there are these physical limitations, and so we must honor women, and especially our wives. Now, if we take this approach to our wives, what is the assisting that we receive? Look at the end of verse seven. So that your prayers may not be hindered. Never really understood this, and so I was looking forward to being able to study this, because I thought, man, maybe this is a formula. Don't people love looking at scripture for formulas? If I just do A plus B, then I'll get C. And so I thought this is what it is. So, okay, I'm gonna adore my wife, I'm gonna love her, I'm gonna dwell with her in an understandable way, so that way, when I say, God, I want this, cha-ching! That's not what this is saying. Think conceptually about prayer, and understand this. is that the greatest expression of intimacy between God and man is when we pray. I mean, when you're studying Scripture, you're learning about Him and the Holy Spirit's speaking to you, but when you're praying, you are bending the God of the universe's ear and He's paying attention to you. That's awesome. And when you listen in prayer, the Holy Spirit is reminding you of biblical truth. That's awesome. That's intimacy. And so what Peter is saying here is that if we adore our wives, man, that will actually assist our intimacy with the God of the universe. That's something to look forward to, isn't it? Now why does lists like this exist? Why does instruction like this exist that flies in the face of what's practical and natural for us? is because what God intends to do is stretch ourselves to think outside of nature, outside of culture, outside of this horizontal to the vertical. And beloved, if that's how we're thinking, we will live differently. Because after all, all of these things, submission, living with our wives in an understandable way, are not behaviors, they're heart conditions. Did you hear that? Maybe that would be a good thing to write down. These are heart conditions, and so if you're like, I'll just have to try harder to submit today, it's not gonna last. If you're like, okay, pastor said I need to live with my wife in an understandable way, I'm gonna try harder today, it's not gonna last. It's not until you value the author of scripture above everything else, it's not until you long for Christ above everything else, and you're only satisfied with him, it's not until that is your pursuit that these behaviors will actually last. And so that's what Peter's doing by reminding us of this, is look past the horizontal to the vertical. You will see your husband and your wife different and you will live out the gospel on the home front. Let's bow our heads and close our eyes. These are difficult topics because our culture is so different than these standards. And yet if you've surrendered to Christ, you've surrendered to culture standards. And so this morning, is there anything that needs to recalibrate? Maybe there's a wife that says, yeah, living with a husband who's an unbeliever has been tough, and I've let the toughness get to me, and I'm not consistent with my faithfulness. But remember, that passage is not just about unbelieving spouses, it's about husband and wife relationship between believers. Maybe there's believing couples here that say, man, I need to recalibrate. Will you take care of that right now? While your heads are bowed and your eyes are closed? Just repent, turn, seek out help, grab a small group leader, grab an elder. Let them know that you need help. But at the end of the day, the only solution for this is not trying harder, it's not putting accountability in our lives, the only solution to this is recalibrating our satisfaction to desire Jesus above everything. Father, will you accomplish that in our lives? That is impossible for us to do on our own, but I pray that all of us that are listening here this morning have that as our desire, and so will you grant us the desires of our heart. Father, use the truths that are from this passage, use the practical applications that have been mentioned, and may those tools be used this week so that our learning can be changed into living, so that Christ can be exalted. Father, for those who are living here that have spouses that are unsaved, Father, will you just give them endurance, give them encouragement, and then open the eyes of their spouse. For those husbands here who might be living in a pattern of distraction and not adoring their wives, not living with them in an understandable way, will you remind them that this is not some small instruction, this is something that affects our relationship with you. So Father, work in hearts this morning, I pray, as we sing this song and as we go out this morning. In Jesus' name, amen.