Laws have been considered and have been passed to give children rights over their parents. And it is important as Christian parents that we understand the vital importance and the complete commitment that we must have in raising our children. Because if we fail to raise our children, the world will raise them for us. God's word is completely sufficient to give us every answer that we need to have a successful parent-child relationship. And so in our text, Paul here tells us how we can preserve this vital, important, yet endangered species of the family. His commands here build upon two commands that were given to wives and husbands previously in the passage. The relationship between the parent and the child is really built on a healthy, godly relationship between a husband and a wife. So if the parent is gonna have a good relationship with the child, if the child is gonna have a good relationship with the parent, The parents must have a good relationship first with one another. And so the first priority in the home is the husband-wife relationship. There is a divine order that is gonna be required to be followed. This divine order must be followed if you are gonna see success in raising your children. If children see modeled before them a husband who sacrificially loves his wife and a wife who submissively respects and honors her husband, then those children will have the proper environment, the proper place to live out the Apostle Paul's command here to the children to obey their parents. So there first must be an established in the home, a proper primary relationship between the husband and the wife. if the secondary relationship of the parent and child is going to work out. It is second to the husband-wife relationship and it is contingent upon it, of course, but it is an absolutely vital of importance to the future of the Christian home. So we focus on it here today. Verse 20, children obey your parents. So a manifestation of our being complete in Christ, and that's really a theme in Colossians, is that as believers, we are complete in Him, chapter two. We have all things in Christ. A manifestation of that is having the right kind of home. And in Christ, we have all that we need as Christians, as parents, as children, to manifest this completeness in our family relationships. And these next verses that we're gonna look at here in verse 20 and 21 go further in communicating and really telling us what a home that brings glory to God is going to look like by revealing some necessary, essential, and important basics for children and for parents to honor God. So tonight we look at the new child and his responsibility to his parents. First, the responsibility. We're gonna look at the responsibility and we're gonna look at the reason here tonight. We're also gonna go over to Ephesians 6. If you wanna turn over there, you can turn there, hold your finger here in Colossians 3. We're gonna look at the parallel passage in Ephesians 6 here in just a minute. Now, there's really in the scripture two basic commands that we're gonna see given to children as it relates to their relationship with their parents. Here, children are dealt with first. only one of the two commands that we see in scripture as it relates to children and parents is listed in Colossians. But over in Ephesians chapter six, both commands are given in this parallel passage. And Ephesians six kind of expands on the book of Colossians as it relates to the children and their relationship to their parents, kind of just like it did with the relationship between the husband and the wife. So go ahead and turn over to Ephesians six if you're not there. And we'll look at verses 1 through 3. The Bible says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. Now these are two parallel texts, but Ephesians here is a little bit fuller. It gives us a little bit fuller picture. And there's two very simple and basic commands that are given. One is an action and one is an attitude. Children must obey and children must honor their parents in all things. And what is interesting, when we look at the passage, we've mentioned this as it relates to wives and to husbands, that there's not a command there for the wife to make sure that the husband loves her and there's not a command for the husband to make sure that the wife submits. But there actually are commands in scripture that relate to parents and their responsibility to make sure that they do what? Raise up and train up their children in the way they should go. So children, recognize that your parents do have a responsibility to make sure that you obey. That is their responsibility. So let's first look at the attitude of the child. There's an attitude and an action. First, the attitude, and that is to honor. Children are to honor their parents. To honor your parents is to highly value them and to hold them in high regard and respect, like you would do something that is precious, how you would handle something very valuable. Okay, we think about something that's physically valuable. I think it was a couple years ago, one of the football teams won the Super Bowl and they took the trophy and they tossed it from one boat to the next across over water, not valuing that Super Bowl trophy very highly, okay? But we think of something valuable, we think of something precious, whatever it might be, We handle it with care. We handle it with all of the recognition and understanding that this is worth something, and I don't want it to be destroyed. And so honoring our parents is to come to your parents and to think of your parents and to treat your parents in that same way. And your attitude that you have towards your parents' kids will really truly form the foundation of your attitude that you will have towards authority for the rest of your life. God has placed parents over us all at one point in time really to get us to be, to help us to be in a pattern of honoring. Because ultimately, if you can't honor your parents, if that's something that you can't do, you probably ultimately won't honor God. either. Now honor, I believe, really truly starts in the heart. Honor is a heart disposition. And so there's this heart disposition that children are to have towards honoring their parents. But then that honor flows out of the heart into action. And there are certain physical actions that denote honor. You can probably think of some, but we're gonna look at some here. But there's a certain kind of physical action that shows that a person honors someone and shows that a child honors his parents. For example, bowing low before a mighty governor who holds in his hand your lives, like Joseph and his brothers. They didn't know it was him, but they bowed down and they paid honor and respect to Joseph as this ruler under Pharaoh of all of Egypt. Or a richly ornamented robe that went on Aaron to set him apart and to give him honor in the eyes of the Israelites as the high priest. Or a seat of honor at the banquet table that Jesus said it is better if the master of the banquet invites you from the lower seat up to the seat of honor, and you sit there because then you are honored in the eyes of all there at this wedding banquet. Or being clothed in a kingly robe, seated on a horse that the king has selected and has ridden, and he says, what shall be done unto the man whom the king delighteth to honor? As in the story of Mordecai. or some sort of public recognition of honor like David gave to his mighty men for their deeds of valor on the battlefield. All of these are physical actions to show honor towards someone. They're all held in honor highly by the person because of public recognition. Robes and places of honor. Five times as much food for Benjamin that Joseph gave. Joseph was honored by his brothers. All of these physical things, what did they flow from? They flowed from a heart attitude of setting apart someone or something. Now, you might say, as children, well, I don't want to do that list. I don't think my parents want to be seated on a horse and ridden through the land and having a proclamation. This is what is done for the parent in whom I am delighting to honor. I don't think my parents, I don't think that's going to work. And it probably wouldn't. There's no need to do that kind of thing. However, there are physical communications of honor that you can do for your parents. For example, you both come to the door. There's a door, you have an option. You barge through it and let it slam in your parent's face. Or you step back, you open the door and you let your mother and your father go through it first. There's a physical action which shows honor. How about this one? Waiting at the dinner table until your parents begin eating. Or if there's a buffet line, maybe it's potluck, You don't just barge up and be the first to scoop up your food. You wait. You step back and you show your parents that you honor them. You hold them in high regard. When you answer your parents, you answer with respectful titles. Yes, dad. Yes, mom. Yes, sir. Yes, mom. Yes, ma'am. Whatever your parents have set up for you, there should be a title of honor there, not just yeah, uh-huh. Whatever. Okay? That does not show honor. It does not show value. Titles of honor. Words spoken of honor. And then don't murmur or complain about your parents. Don't murmur and complain against the decision that your parents make. You may think you know it all. Okay? We all were there at one point in time. And then we realized that we didn't know anything. But speak respectfully of your parents. Speak respectfully to your parents. Speak respectfully about your parents. And don't slander them behind their backs. When your parents tell you to do something, don't roll your eyes. Facial expressions matter. Facial expressions have meaning. With your eyes, show respect and show honor. You remember what God said to Cain right before Cain killed Abel? He said, why art thou wroth and why is thy countenance fallen? Cain's face showed a certain kind of hard attitude. And so facial expressions matter. So put the honor of your parents on your face. Show them that you honor them. And we really now live in a culture of complete dishonor. Complete. And then Pastor Staggers talked about it with Hollywood. And just the whole thing with Hollywood's storyline of the dad is stupid. And the kid just, you know, you just do whatever you want. And dad's a dummy. And mom's the cool person. Everything that the world is pushing right now is pushing to destroy the Christian family unit and to just put it down. It's all over. Question authority. Question those who are in charge. And you see it. It's in the streets all the time. People aren't happy with the way things are. break windows, smash cars, light things on fire, steal things. Why? Because somebody 15, 20 years ago didn't tell them no. They didn't learn to honor. They didn't learn to obey. They didn't learn to respect authority. And so now when they don't get what they want, instead of screaming and throwing something in the grocery store line when they can't have the Snickers bar, now look at the result. They wanna strip authority of all honor. And you can go to the internet, you can go to websites and blogs and YouTube channels, and you can find all of these different avenues where they are designed to rip and to strip down God-ordained authorities of honor. So let's not be a part of that. Let's not be a part of that culture of dishonor. Honor your parents. Highly value them. Respect them. That's the attitude, the action. The action is that children are to obey, it says, your parents in all things. Obey in all things. First of all, look at who is a child. Who is a child? The Greek word here for child is the Greek word coming from technon, and it can refer in scripture to almost any age group. But by addressing children directly here, Paul assumes at least two things. Number one, that the children that are hearing this are old enough to read and understand what he's saying, and two, that they're still living at home. As a child ages and a child matures, there may be some increasing freedom to discuss things. Maybe a parent allows that, like as they get older, hey, we'll have a platform for discussion. But if there's still a disagreement between the child and the parent, the child has to defer in obedience to the parent and obey them. Now once a person is, a young person is old enough to support himself and he gets a job and the parent says that you're old enough to be on your own or they get married and they start a new family, he is no longer under his parent's authority But he still should respect them, and he should still honor them. And even from time to time, I think it wise that he even seek their advice and counsel. But children, as long as you are in your parents' home, as long as you are still under their authority, as long as your parents are responsible for you, as long as you're under their leadership and control, you have two commands. You must honor them, and you must obey them. This command to obey here is a present active imperative, just like all the other commands that we've seen in the family relationships with wives and with husbands. They're all present active imperatives, meaning that children are to make it a habit, a continual habit of obeying their parents. And this command isn't something that's really something new in scripture. Go back to the foot of Mount Sinai. and God descending in fire at the top of the mountain, and the ground beneath their feet shaking, and a voice like you would have never heard in history. and has never been heard like that again, God says, I am the Lord, your God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. And then what did he say? He gives those first four commandments, which describe the vertical relationship that man is to have with God. And then he gives six more commandments that describe the horizontal relationship that man is to have with other men, the human relationship. And the first commandment in that second table of the law is honor thy father and thy mother. So God wants you children to take this command seriously. No matter how many flaws that you see in your parents, and trust me, there are many. And I never really realized how many there were. And I'm not talking about my parents, I'm talking about myself, okay? Your parents are gonna have flaws, but you're still to honor them. And Paul here connects honor and obedience to long life and prosperity. We see that in Exodus 20, and it's repeated in Ephesians 6. The first commandment that he says that comes with a promise. And so there is this rich, abundant life that is promised to you if you simply obey this command to honor your father and mother. Now on the negative side in scripture, there are all kinds of threats connected with disobeying this commandment. We're going to look at some of these. Go to Exodus chapter 21 and verse 15. And he that smiteth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death. So dishonor there, not that big a deal, right? Okay, how about a Leviticus chapter 20? Leviticus chapter 20 verse 9. Obviously these are laws here for the children of Israel and the church is not Israel, but we see here the seriousness that God had for this command for children to honor and obey their parents. Leviticus chapter 20 verse 9 says, for everyone that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death. he hath cursed his father or his mother, his blood shall be upon him." And you can look at other passages in the Old Testament, Deuteronomy chapter 21, verses 18 through 21, for sake of time, we won't turn there. But what do we see? We see the death penalty connected in the Old Testament with a child who is continually disobedient and dishonoring of a parent. And then Jesus repeats these commands in Matthew chapter 15 verses 4 through 6 and Mark chapter 7 verses 10 through 13. He repeats these verses. Look at Proverbs chapter 30 verse 17. The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother. Okay, there's the child. The child that's characterized by mocking his father and despising to obey his mother. Look at the consequence. The ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it. So here we have this very picturesque description of the serious consequence of a disobedient child, a disrespectful child. And so this must be a very serious sin if we see so many warnings and so many admonitions in scripture connected to it, even up to and including capital punishment. And Paul, the Apostle Paul in Romans chapter one, verse 29 through 32, he lists disobedience to parents right along with murder and many other very serious sins. And in verse 32, he says that those who do these things and those things include disobedience to parents are worthy of death. Now, that's the New Testament. young people. That's the New Testament. And so it is a very serious thing then, children, to dishonor and to disobey your parents. Therefore, in a Jewish home, one of the most important things for the parents was to, like Paul said, train up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. to bring their children up diligently so that they would not at some point have to experience capital punishment. So, children, what do you do? Obey your parents. Obey your parents. Now, what is that going to look like? What does that look like? Well, first of all, the word obey, Greek word, comes from a compound word Hupakuo, okay, it's a compound word meaning to submit under. But also, there's an aspect of hearing. The word hupa there is to come under. The akuo part of that word actually comes from where we get our English word acoustic from. And so the first step to obedience is to listen, and to listen attentively. The word obey in English is rooted in the word to hear. And it means to get under or to put yourself under something that is heard. And so the proof of hearing would be what? What would be the proof of hearing? Yeah, doing, obedience. for the proof of hearing is obedience. And so the first act of obedience is actually hearing or listening to the command. And that means that the excuse, I didn't hear you, doesn't work. It's not a good excuse. An obedient child and a respectful child is one that is eager to hear the instructions of his parents, which means children, you should be listening for your parents' voice. If you hear the voice of your parents, you should be wondering, are they talking to me? Are they asking me to do something? Are they telling me to do something? Why? Because you honor. You're honoring them. And you don't want to miss something that they're telling you to do. So have your ears open for the voice of your parents. Second, obedience. The first aspect of obedience is that there's a connection to hearing and to listening. But second, obedience is not forgetfulness. a command given Monday doesn't just disappear on Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday. In other words, if your parents tell you not to run in the church building today, they shouldn't have to tell you not to run in the church building next week. If your parents tell you to clean the dishes after we eat today, you should clean the dishes after you eat every day. Lack of action by your parents is not a change of instruction or a silent permission. In other words, if your parents say, don't run in the church building, and you run in the church building and nothing happens, well, it must be okay now. Lack of action by your parents is not permission. And so forgetful obedience is not obedience, it's actually disobedience. Third, obedience is not, and what we're talking about here is what true obedience is gonna look like. Obedience is not partial. That means it's complete. Obedience is complete obedience. And notice this even in our passage, obey your parents in all things, everything. Obey them in everything. And you think of the example of Saul and the Amalekites in the Old Testament. God gave a command, wipe them out. And Saul didn't do that, but he wiped out most of them. And what was the consequence? Was it minor? Was it a minor consequence? No, God ripped the kingdom. The kingdom was rent from Saul because of his partial obedience. Why? Because it's not really obedience, it's disobedience. Doing half of the list is not obedience. You've got a list of 15 things that you're supposed to do. You do 10 of them. Did you obey? No. Partial obedience is disobedience. Obedience is also immediate. We say this completely, immediately, and joyfully, but obedience is immediate. Children do not get to set their own schedule of when they will obey. I'll get to that. That's not honoring. Having honor says whatever it is that I'm doing that's so important is actually not important. What's important is that I obey and that I honor my parents. Start cleaning the room and then you begin to look around at things and then all of a sudden you go on your own schedule and you go on your own time and pretty soon you're not cleaning your room anymore and you figure that I'll just get to it when I feel like it. I'll finish it when I feel like it. And so half the room is cleaned. or part of the room is clean, but not all of the room is clean, and it took you 20 minutes to get started because you had something more important. Obedience is not obedience unless it's complete, immediate, and then it's not reluctant or sullen either. It's joyful. It's happy. If obedience And this is really a perspective that we all have to have, including parents. This was something that, as I was going through this, stuck out to me as it relates to the joyful part of obedience. We say that our children are to be joyful and happy when they obey. And they can have the right perspective, even though you're telling them to do something they may not like to do. And you probably wouldn't wanna do it either. And so you're having them do it because you don't wanna do it. and you're teaching them some discipline at the same time, you want them to do it with happiness and with joyfulness. Why? Well, child, if you're receiving that instruction that you don't like, and you have this perspective, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord, then you can do whatever that thing is that you don't wanna do with happiness and joyfulness. Why? Because it pleases the Lord when you do that. If obedience is well-pleasing to God, then it will be well-pleasing to you, child, but it will also be well-pleasing to your parents. And parents, this is it right here. We can get very upset with our children when they disobey. But how joyful are we when they actually obey? We can get all over their case when they disobey. You didn't do what you were told, and just really start hammering it in. But when they obey immediately, and they obey completely, and they obey joyfully, not a word. No demonstration of happiness from you. I think, I mean, this is what, for me, was something that I got out of this, is as a parent, this pleases the Lord. Obedience pleases the Lord, so it should please us too as parents. Someone can obey right away, and they can do it all, do the task complete, but if they don't do it happily and joyfully, it's not obedience. Grumpy obedience is disobedience. And then notice there that it says children obey your parents. There's an S there, parents. That's both of them, okay? That's mom and dad. Not just the one that you like or the one that treats you a certain way, but you are required to honor and obey both of your parents. Why? So those are your responsibilities. But the reason is because this is well pleasing unto the Lord. This is God's standard. This is the way that he set it up. This is the role that he has for you. to honor and obey your parents. And the implication here is that the only kind of life from a child that God will bless is one that is a submissive and obedient and honoring child. The only kind of life that is pleasing to Him. So this means that if you have believed in Christ, if you've received Christ, if He is your Lord, even if it's hard to obey your parents, you can do it for the Lord. Even if it's difficult to follow your parents' instruction for whatever reason, you can still do it because you know that the Lord is pleased with you because you do. Even if your parents don't ever seem pleased with you when you obey, know this, that the Lord is pleased when you obey. So children, do you want to please God? Do you want to please Him? If you do, then honor and obey your parents in everything. And then think about the benefits that there are for obeying your parents. God is pleased, your parents are pleased, and then interestingly enough, you can have happiness and joy as well. if you do what? Obey and honor your parents in all things. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we're thankful for your goodness to us. We're thankful for your word and how it truly is just simple for us to understand, but we know that we need your strength and help to follow it, and we ask that you'd give us the strength to do that. In Jesus' name, amen. Very good. Very good message. All right, well, this time you can break up for prayer, and I encourage you to pray one for another. Please pray for those that will be traveling out at various times in the next couple weeks, and we go to the Lord in prayer.