He is our only hope He is our only hope Richard Bennett was born in 1938 and was raised at McKee Barracks in Dublin, Ireland. His father, Colonel Frank Bennett, played a prominent role during the Irish War for Independence, the Civil War, and later on as a colonel in the Irish Army. McKee Barracks was the home of one of Ireland's greatest sporting ambassadors, show jumping. and Frank had a major role in show jumping, serving as the captain of the Irish team for several years, particularly in 1933 when the team won all of their competitions in Mexico, the United States and Canada. All of Richard's elementary and secondary schooling was received at Belvidere Jesuit College in Great Denmark Street, Dublin. The school was founded in 1841 and presently has about 750 pupils. When Richard attended the school, the Jesuit ethos was strong and remains that way today. In 1996, Richard spoke outside of Belvidere Jesuit College. It was here at Belvidere College that around 1945 that I came to study as a very young boy and I was to remain for 10 years. Belvidere College, run by the Jesuits, was where I did all of my elementary and secondary education. It was here that I learned how to be a devout Catholic, where I could give many reasons why the Pope was the most important man in the world, and why we all had to uphold his teaching. It was here that I learned the teaching of Pope Pius XII that I had memorized where Pius XII said, great mystery this and source of unending contemplation that the salvation of many depends on the prayers and sacrifices of the members of the mystical body of Christ offered for this intention. So I tried as a young man to offer things up to be a better Roman Catholic and to be a better a better Jesuit boy at this college I devoutly lived Catholicism and it was here that it all began Belvedere College I got a good academic training What was instilled into me was the authority of the Catholic Church as the ultimate source of truth and the fact that we had to cooperate to be right before an all-holy God. I say this compassionately to you because I know that you may also have been brought up in devout Catholicism and it is quite difficult and painful to read in the Bible that it is by grace that you are saved through faith and this not of yourself that is the gift of God not of works that anyone should boast so with compassion and care I remember Belvedere College where my education began and my second education finished in 1955 When Richard was nine years old, his father retired from the Irish Army and purchased a house at 39 North Avenue, North Marion County, Dublin. When Richard returned to Ireland in 1996, he spoke from the garden of his former residence. We're here in the garden of 39 North Avenue where I grew up as a young boy. I came here age nine and it was here that I stayed until I was 18. It was from this very garden running down the road where you see it just at the back here that my father came down in 1956 to tell me I passed the leaving certificate. And he was hoping I would go to college afterwards, the 55-56 academic year when I finished at Barbados College. And he thought I was going to go to university. But I started to explain to my mother and father that I wanted to suffer more for my salvation, that I wanted to be a better Catholic, I wanted to be a monk and a priest and neither my father nor my mother really agreed but they reluctantly said yes and I wanted to go into the Dominican order to study to be a priest. I remember quoting, and even to a friend of mine, the words of what Mary was supposed to have said at Fatima, that many souls go to hell because there's nobody to pray or do penance for them. and that was the same as the Pope said that we had to suffer for our sins and do penance so I wanted to be a good Catholic by being a priest and a monk and I said let me suffer for my sins it wasn't until many years later that I saw in the Bible it says that it's salvation it's God's free gift Ephesians 2, 8 and 9, for it is by grace you are saved through faith, and that not of yourself, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. You can imagine me reading that in the Bible, where Paul says that if it is of grace, it is no longer of works, otherwise grace is no more grace. And the same St. Paul says, do not frustrate the grace of God, for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ be dead in vain. And I began wondering, are all these works in vain? Is this attempting to nullify the grace of God? If the Bible says it's God's free gift, how can we merit? But it was here, 39 North Avenue, that I had studied, as a young Jesuit boy from Belvedere, the texts of the popes. I had studied The text of what I was told was Mary speaking. And it wasn't until many years later that I saw that I had, like Saint Paul, to realize that my righteousness is in Christ and not in myself. It's only what Christ did. Not only is it not anything that I have done or that you have done, it's only what Christ Jesus did. My righteousness, like Paul said, like David said before in the Psalms, is of God only. He is my rock, my high tower, my fortress. Now this is difficult. It's difficult for you. It's difficult for any of us because we want to cooperate. But the Bible says it's God's gift. And God's gift alone. so you cry out to God that He would convict you of sin like St. Paul says in Romans chapter 3 verse 23 for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God to realize that we are all sinners by nature and personal sin and then to see the good news in verse 24 of the letter of St. Paul being justified freely by His grace, by God's grace freely. Free means free. Free to you, Christ Jesus paid the total price for you. He died for you. Ask the Lord to show you that, show you're a sinner, and then to accept you in the finished complete righteousness moral integrity of Christ Jesus that you may be a son or daughter of God knowing Him and praising Him because He alone is worthy it's wonderful and I ask that you do that today to know Him who is your Abba Father The Bennett family attended St. Teresa's Church, Mount Marian, and regularly participated in the Catholic Mass and Sacraments. Before Mount Marian became an important suburb of Dublin, the church was much smaller. The present church was built when Richard was a teenager. Richard spoke from the church in 1996. This is the church of St. Teresa, where I had grown up as a young boy from nine to 18 years old, where I had completed church. After I had been completed, the old church is just across the road. It was here too, at this high altar at the back of me here, where I had said my first mass. It wasn't this exact altar. At that time, the altar was facing the back wall and not facing the people. But it was this exact location where I said my first mass, 63, after I'd been ordained by John Charles. During that visit, Richard also spoke outside of the confession box, where as a young man, he would go to confess his sins to a priest. If I was in confession boxes like this, I sat in in the West Indies for many years, saying to people, I absolve you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Not realizing that in the Bible, It states that who can forgive sins but God alone. And the very text that we use as Catholic priests to say that we could forgive sins in John chapter 20, we said that Christ said to the apostles, whose sins you shall forgive, we are forgiven, whose sins you shall retain, we are retained. It was only afterwards that I, reading the Bible, saw that that was said to the disciples, men and women, the 120. and that it was parallel to what it said in Matthew 28 and in Luke 24 it was proclaiming the message that men and women to proclaim the message that if you proclaim the message that it's Christ only saves in his finished work people's sins are forgiven and that's how the apostles and the disciples understood it because that's only what they did in actual fact We didn't have confession in this auricular way where the priest sits down and people come into the box beside and confess their sins into the priest's ear. We didn't have that for 1,000 years after Christianity had begun. 1,000 years. So that's a very serious thing. We've had the creed. the Latin Council, such as Confession as we now know it, but it's after thousands of years, well into the 13th century and 1215, the fourth Latin Council. And so something quite serious, that somebody could take on the attribute of God, But the Bible says, if we sin, He is faithful and true to forgive us our sins. But someone could take on themselves the attribute of God to say, I forgive you. That is serious before the all-holy God. But the Bible says, who can forgive sins but God alone? And the good news is that you can cry out to God, not simply for salvation, that you know the righteousness of God covering you and that you are clothed in the righteousness of God but after you sin, after you are a believer when the Lord convicts you that you confess your sins to God and He is faithful and true to forgive you so that you can live with Him and grow in holiness and truth day by day we just praise the God for His graciousness for His truth and that he alone forgets. Praise to his name. On his completion of secondary school, Richard made the decision to become a Catholic priest. He joined the Dominican Order and went to St. Mary's Dominican Church and Priory on Pope's Quay Cork in Southern Ireland. After a one-year novitiate, Richard completed his first year of philosophical studies, concentrating primarily on cosmology, a study of the universe from the perspective of the Greek philosopher Aristotle. He also had other studies from Aristotle, as well as subjects such as logic and Greek. Then for further study, Richard moved to the Dominican House of Studies in Talla, Dublin, where he spent several years training to become a Catholic priest. At that time, Talla was quite rural, but has since grown to be a developed urban suburb bordering the capital city of Dublin. Richard also had the opportunity to speak on the grounds of this location during his 1996 visit. It was here in 1958 that I came for the 1958-59 academic year to study in Talla I had as a young man, 18 and a half years old bought a Bible thinking that in the monastery we would study the Bible in Cork, St. Mary's in Cork we had a year that was called a spiritual year and a vitiate year and afterwards we started studying philosophy coming here, 58-59 academic year we studied philosophy again the philosophy of Aristotle who was a pagan 300 years before Christ ever came on earth and history of philosophy cosmology to do with the way the world was made according to the old philosophers such as Aristotle the Bible that I had bought we did not use and it was never to be our base We were based on tradition, the church tradition, the Bible, and the teaching of the Pope. Even Thomas Aquinas that we began studying here when I had finished philosophy, my teaching was based on Aquinas who himself had for his authority the philosopher who was Aristotle the tradition of the Catholic Church and the Bible and he would quote all three and so the Bible was not the basis of truth it was only many years afterwards when I was in Trinidad as a Dominican priest on the mission field when I had a freak accident in 1972 spitting the back of my head and damaging my back, spine and 24 places that I began turning to the Bible as a source of truth And even then I didn't know that it was the only source of truth. It was in reading Isaiah in the Bible that I saw that all we like sheep have gone astray, we've turned each one to his own way, and the Lord laid on him the iniquity of us all. It was on Christ Jesus that my sins and your sins were laid, so that we could trust in the substitute whom the Father had given. that we would know perfect relationship with Him. Like Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5, 21, He who knew no sin became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. I read text like this in the Bible and I began saying to the other priests, some of whom had studied here in Tallawitmi, maybe it is that we don't have to suffer for our sins, we don't have to merit, we don't have to cooperate with God's grace that it's simply substitution that Christ Jesus died for you on the cross and they would tell me to be quiet who did I think I was, was I better than the popes than the millions of Catholics worldwide and then in 1979 when I was outside Trinidad and in Canada and then in Seattle in the United States that one day With the aid of Strong's Concordance, I began studying the Bible for what the Bible says about itself. And I saw that Christ Jesus said about the written word, Thy word is truth. That God's word not simply contains truth, it is truth. and then I saw in the written word of God that we are not to think beyond what is written the Lord's command through Saint Paul in 1 Corinthians chapter 4 verse 6 and then I saw that all scriptures given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction and righteousness that the man of God may be perfect, truly equipped for every good work that the word of God is sufficient for every circumstance and Isaiah himself said to the law and to the testimony if they do not speak according to this word it is because there is no light in them that we are like Christ Jesus and the apostles to hold to the written word of God three times in chapter four alone of Matthew's gospel the Lord says In rebuking Satan, it is written. The Lord went back to the written Word of God. And in the same Matthew's Gospel, he said, do not think that I came to destroy the law of the prophets. I came not to destroy, but to fulfill. He came to complete God's Word in the Scripture. To bring it to fulfillment. His authority was the Bible. He said also that Scripture cannot be broken. The Word of God cannot be broken. It is the final authority. And I ask you, beloved viewer and listener, that you see what Jesus Christ held as the authority. See what Saint Peter held as the authority. He called it a light shining in the darkness. That no prophecy is of any private interpretation. It's God-given. the source is God like Paul said that he received the word of God not as the word of men but as from God in Thessalonians the word of God is God's word to you it is the authority it is God's biblical truth ask God to open your eyes to his truth in the word and you would see that Christ Jesus himself was the one who castigated the Pharisees. He stood against people who tried to make the word of none effect through their traditions. The word is very clear. Christ Jesus called those who made tradition equal to God's written word. He called them blind guides of the blind, whited sepulchres. These are strong words. Bruda vipers. They are not my words. the loving Christ Jesus words because Christ Jesus did not want anybody having any other base of authority than he himself had than that what he gave to the apostles when they wrote down the word of God he said the Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth and so it was and Saint Peter recognized that in 2nd Peter chapter 1 that Holy men of God were impelled by God to write down the Word and He mentioned Saint Paul writing. And so we have the written Word of God in the New Testament, given in the New Testament times itself. that Saint Peter speaks about Paul's writings while Paul was alive and Peter was alive. We had the written Word of God. Peter felt compelled to write the Word so that we would have it after he was gone. So he said, we have the written Word of God. As Christ Jesus had as his base, as you have for your base. And that's what I appeal to you, that you see the authority of God's Word. and here in the beautiful setting of Tala where I learned tradition to have compassion for people who were taught tradition the Catholic Church in its modern code of canon law that's taught here in Tala says that the basis of truth is the Bible and tradition and what is proposed as to be revealed divinely There's a siren going off at the moment and I think that would be a warning that we should not take anything to be outside the Word of God. That siren sort of came at the right moment. That we should be warned not to take tradition. If Christ Jesus condemned tradition, how could anybody say that tradition is to be received as a one deposit of faith and that divinely proposed truth by a institute that has denied God's word should be accepted as truth. No, we accept what Christ Jesus accepted, the written word of God. That is the basis of truth. That is the ultimate authority, what Christ Jesus himself has said. What his written word has said, what the apostles have said, and what the early believers believed for many centuries, that we were not to go beyond what is written. It says in the Old Testament In Proverbs chapter 35 and 6, every word of God is pure. He is the shield unto them that put their trust in Him. Add thou not unto His words, lest He reprove thee and show thee to be a liar. We are not to add unto God's written word. That is the commandment of God. It is also the last commandment in the Bible. final chapter, final page, final paragraph add thou not unto the words of this book it is God's commandment and it is very serious and when you get your basis on what Jesus Christ was based on and what the apostles was based on then you can know the word of God is true that when Christ Jesus said I lay down my life for my sheep this is my body broken for you This is my blood poured out for you. When he said he was dying for you, beloved viewer, you know on the authority of his word that that is true. And you say, yes Lord, I accept. Father, show me I accept by your divine grace that Christ Jesus died for me. Father, show me. Open my eyes. A humble and contrite heart he will not burn. God is precious. His holiness is commensurate with his truth, with his love. And in his love and truth he says to you, Christ Jesus' finished work is sufficient for you. Believe on him. Or like Paul said, God commands all men everywhere to repent. we repent of tradition and we accept the precious word of God as authority and on that word that He has died for you, beloved viewer that you may know the glory of eternal life now this is eternal life that you may know Him, the one true God in Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent and for all eternity that you may have peace with God This is the message, the authority of God's written word, that we praise God, like Paul said, to the praise of the glory of His grace. After years of study in philosophy and theology, Richard was ordained at Conliff College, Dublin. Archbishop John Charles McQuaid, who had been the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Dublin from 1940 to 1971, officiated over the ordination. Richard spoke outside of the college in 1996. It was here at Tonleaf College, right beside the church where I was ordained in 1963, it was here that we came for some of our diocesan exams. We would study some of the diocesan exams for them, like we studied for our Dominican exams, and we would come here we came here to be examined for what was called minor orders and then to do some of the priesthood examinations so that we would be qualified at the diocesan level as well as at the Dominican level it was here that I had passed my examinations for the priesthood not knowing that the sacrificial priesthood is not in the Bible it is purely the priesthood of all believers a prayer and a praise unto God and the whole idea of men lording over others is not in the Bible. Christ Jesus said in Matthew's Gospel, one is your Lord and one is your Christ and ye are all brethren. The highest order in the Bible is that of brother. and some brothers are elders and some are pastors and some are teachers there's no such thing as hierarchy it is all simply brothers it was to take many years of real hard anguish looking at the word of God for me to discover these things when I say this true to you with compassion and care because It is very painful to realize that what the Bible teaches is not the tradition of Rome. It is painful, but I ask that you cry out to God that He would show you the truth of His word. And then with compassion and care, that you would ask Him to be gentle with you, but to show you the light of His truth. so that you would stand firm on His word. And know Christ Jesus, the High Priest, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, set separate from sinners, higher than the heavens. As it says in Hebrews, able to say to the uttermost, the compassion and care of Christ Jesus, who has a high priesthood in heaven and not on earth. As the Bible keeps saying, that we are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. I ask you to do that and the Lord is faithful and true to show you that you may know the one High Priest and that you would not take from that royal priesthood of believers or from the supreme sovereignty of Christ Jesus' priesthood by trying to bring over to the New Testament what was simply in the old. where there were sacrifices and many priests but this is the unique high priesthood of Christ Jesus and that you would know Him because that is eternal life that you may know Him Christ Jesus and the Father who sent Him He said this is eternal life I have been ordained in the adjoining church in June 1963 and where I have been examined for the priesthood, examined on such things as the sacrifice of the mass. But this is a very difficult thing to speak to you about. When I had begun to study the Bible and what Jesus Christ himself said about his sacrifice, it was so painful it was like a razor blade cutting through my eye. because I really believed at mass when I said pray brethren that my sacrifice and yours be acceptable to God the Almighty Father and the people said may the Lord accept the sacrifice on your hands and praise and glory his name for our good and good of all his church I really believed that I was offering the same sacrifice the one sacrifice of Christ Jesus and then to Study the Bible. Jesus on the cross said it is finished. Meaning absolutely complete. His work was done. It says in the very beginning of the book of Hebrews that when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down at the right hand of the majesty and high. the very beginning of the book of Hebrews giving the theme that is to run through chapter 9 and chapter 10 of Hebrews where the Lord says that it was one sacrifice for any had by himself purged our sins that it is one sacrifice and for all time In verse 18 of chapter 10 of Hebrews, there is now no longer any offering, any sacrifice for sin. He had completed, as Paul says in Romans, he had completed the work of our redemption. He had finalized. He had offered himself once, as Saint Peter said, in chapter 2 of his letter, the first letter, when he had borne our sins in his body on the tree. He died just for the unjust, when he had offered himself once for sin. It is once and for all time, and not a continual sacrifice. But God's word is true. that only Christ Jesus was holy and harmless and undefiled only He as the God-man could offer His sacrifice and that for us to try and cooperate with what only He could do is attempting to debase the very person of Christ Jesus now this is painful but I ask that you ask the Lord in His Word and by His Holy Spirit to show you the truth of what He says so that like the Lord you can say it is finished that like the writer to Hebrews you can say once and for all time like Peter you can say once and that you can know that it is finalized and finished and that you are trusting on the absolute perfect work of Christ Jesus and that alone trust on his finished work and based on that know the peace of God that is beyond imagination That now, like Paul says, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God. It is just a wonder of who Christ is. And that He only is the eternal priest who only could offer the sacrifice that brings us salvation. After his ordination, Richard was sent to finish his studies at the University of Thomas Aquinas at the Angelicum University in Rome, where he stayed at the Dominican Priory attached to the famous Church of San Clemente. Richard was surprised by the outward pomp and inner emptiness that he saw in Rome, and at the University of Angelicum, he was shocked by the number of people in his theology class who didn't seem to be interested in Christ Jesus the Lord or what he stood for. they were merely intent on getting their degrees, returning to their own nations, and gaining a prominent position within the Catholic Church. On October 1st, 1964, having finished his studies in Rome, Richard was commissioned to Trinidad West Indies, located just off the coast of Venezuela, South America, where he underwent an amazing change in his life. But let's have Richard tell us in his own words what happened to him in Trinidad. Now we come to the present day and it has been traumatic for me presenting these things from the past and when I made the video in Ireland in 1996 I had spoken about the accident I had, the disastrous accident in 1972 and I will be mentioning some of that just now. It was the same year 1972 that later on in the year I was sent to the oil refinery town Pointe-a-Pierre in South Trinidad. Pointe-a-Pierre was well known, it had Texaco incorporated which was the biggest oil refinery in the world at the time on an island. of course there was other oil refineries that were bigger you know on land but it was the biggest island refinery and it was later taken over by the government and nationalized but at that time it was under Trinidad only in a tax way and it was owned by American company Texaco and many of the people there were American at the oil fields and at the school and at the church, we had a lot of Americans. I was parish priest there and in neighboring villages, Gasparillo, Marabella, Claxton Bay and some other smaller outstations. It was a good time for me as a priest because it was the first time after the accident that I had really begun studying scripture. But I was still very traditionally Catholic and you will see in the first photograph that we show here from Trinidad, it shows me with a group of young children who I had prepared for First Communion. and it was at the foot of the statue of Mary just there beside the church on the grounds of the church in Pointer Pier. So that brings back memories to me, that photograph and those children that I had prepared for First Communion. I had been there in Pointe-à-Pierre for seven years and then I was appointed to be a new parish priest in a new area, but in the meantime I was asked to speak in British Columbia in Canada. I got a glowing letter of recommendation from the Archbishop Anthony Panton. He fully recommended me to the Archbishop James Kearney in Vancouver. I'd like to read you some of the exact words from this letter of recommendation that he said. He said he has been most devoted and conscientious priest and has been highly successful in promoting the development of competent lay leaders in the parish of Pointe-a-Pierre. which he has just left. For some years he's been a very great admirer of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal and gives it very effective support. I recommend him warmly to you and will consider as done to myself whatever is accorded to him by way of hospitality and encouragement. And so he signed it Archbishop Tanton, Anthony Tanton and I really got a good welcome then by the Archbishop and by the Catholics in Canada, in Vancouver, British Columbia. It was there that I really changed to a great extent because I had discovered a strong concordance, I discovered the Bible as the authority and I began preaching differently. the same archbishop who welcomed me so warmly was not friendly towards me at the end when I had preached about the Bible being the only absolute authority of faith and morals. Actually he got very annoyed at me and he told me to leave his diocese at the end but That time in Canada was a real turning in my own life. When I came back I went to Pointe-à-Pierre, from Pointe-à-Pierre where I'd been, I went to Thangra Gandhi, this is now in the north of Trinidad. and it was again a fairly rural town of some size and many outstations or adjoining churches that I was also parish priest of. Priests on the mission field run many churches and we had Eucharistic ministers to help in the running of these extra churches. So you see the next picture, it shows me doing a wedding there in Pointe-à-Pierre You see my long flowing hair at the time, but I was still while devoutly Catholic and looking really a little bit strange, but I was still searching the scriptures, particularly my main scripture was Philippians 3.10, that I may know him on the power of his resurrection. I wanted to know Jesus Christ. For all my years as a priest and all my devotedness, I did not know Jesus Christ and I was really conscious that I didn't have a peace with God. So while I could do things in style, like the wedding, I was still really struggling to know Jesus Christ and the power of his resurrection. Then, the next photograph is myself preparing a group of young people for First Communion at one of those neighboring parishes where I was also parish priest of Matura. The actual physical building I had planned, I had got a contractor and I had built this The old church was dilapidated and it was taken down and we changed this church to a new building which I had really designed and had built there. I show a photograph also of myself going out to stay massed at that church of Mathura. And then you will see on your screen a picture of me with some beautiful flowers and things in the background, but this picture was taken at the very opening of that church. We did not have the traditional Catholic name on the church. I wanted to change it as I had done in another church that I built earlier on in South Trinidad, but the Archbishop was really annoyed at me and he wanted the traditional name of the church to remain the Catholic name. I was putting the altar bread back into the tabernacle there with my long flowing locks and the dark dark beard at the time. That was myself putting the tabernacle, the bread back into the tabernacle. At the time I was still struggling, was this really physically the body of Christ? Was it the soul and divinity of Christ that the Catholic Church teaches? I was struggling but still doing all the rituals at the time. It was during my last months actually in Trinidad, where I was now Parish Priest of Mathura, besides Sangragandhi and some other places like Valencia. I was quite close to the young people and you will see in the next photograph, this is myself with a group actually from Valencia, and we're way up north of Valencia where we've gone up by jeep on some very bad, you could hardly call them roadways, but you could get up to Cumaca. Cumaca was a outstation very much in what you would call the bush or the jungle, and it was there that we had a building which was also a school and where I studied math and you will see the youth really from Valencia and some from San Gregande who were practising. I was quite close to the youth at the time and you will see me sitting among them as they were practising hymns for math. It was in that same parish of Pointe-à-Pierre, and I beg your pardon, I'm getting mixed up here, the same parish of Sangre Grande, I had left Pointe-à-Pierre, and Matura, Valencia, Comaca, and other places like Sangre Chiquito. These were the places where I was at the very end where I was struggling. I had said something earlier on in the video that I had made in Ireland in 96 about the freak accident, the disastrous accident I had in 72. In 1972 I had damaged the back of my skull where I had fallen down 24 concrete steps and I had damaged my back spine. when eventually after three days of being unconscious I came back to consciousness a neurologist told me that it was not just physical pain I would be suffering but it would be mental pain because my whole metabolism of the nervous system as it goes up the back spine into the brain had been damaged in the fall and he said it was a it had traumatically hit, would be hitting me really in a very, very emotional and disturbing way. He compared it to, he said, have you ever seen an eight-cylinder car? I said, the only eight-cylinder cars I've seen are the hearses taking dead bodies to the funeral home. And he said, well, you're going to be like an eight-cylinder car going on one cylinder for about two years. The neurologist told me what it was going to be like, it was really painful, emotionally painful besides physically painful and after about four months in a sanatorium having left the hospital I began really to search the scriptures. I began to search to see how does somebody have peace with God. While I boasted I'd never committed a serious sin in my life, not realizing the serious sin of pride and the serious wicked thoughts I had. I didn't take count of those. I had boasted how good I was and I never had peace with God and I desired that I would know Christ Jesus and the power of his resurrection and it was going to be 13 and a half years, nearly 14 years of search, I was searching to know who Jesus Christ was so that I would have peace with God and that I would be, in the words of Ephesians chapter 1, I would be accepted in the beloved. I knew the scriptures, I had I had memorised some scriptures, I had memorised even Ephesians chapter 2, 8 and 9. For by grace are you saved, for faith in that not of yourselves, but it is the gift of God, not of works that anyone should boast. I knew these things, but I still was so far from having peace with God. And at that particular stage as I started, I was in really severe emotional pain besides physical pain that I was recovering from and I still started studying the scriptures. The first thing I discovered was a An eye-opener to me, I always thought that grace was in the human heart and that it came to us through the sacraments into the human heart. This was my idea, this is the way we talked about sanctifying grace. I read Ephesians chapter 1 and 2 and I saw 42 times, as I underlined in the Bible, 42 times the Apostle Paul says, in Christ, in the beloved, in whom, he keeps saying in Christ. and I underlined it in the Bible, counted it, and then I see it's the same in Colossians, it's the same in Philippians, his own testimony that I may be found in him not having my own righteousness, which is not to love with that which is by faith of Jesus Christ. I could see that this is where salvation is, it's in Christ, it's not in any church, and this was a real eye-opener to me, and I was really struggling from the very beginning, I was really struggling, where is salvation located? And I read the whole Gospel of Saint John and his first letter and I saw that this is the testimony that God has given us everlasting life and everlasting life is in the Son. The Apostle John keeps saying that everlasting life is in Christ, the same as the Apostle Paul. And I really struggled. Now you would say that was simple, and why did it take me so many years? It took me so many years because I was struggling in so many other things. I was into Transcendental Meditation at the same time. I was still trying to make my way through the Catholic Charismatic Renewal. doing all the signs and wonders and all that show business sort of theatrical thing with Pentecostalism. I was working with some of the Assemblies of God churches. When I had been speaking in British Columbia with the Catholic Church, I also went to the Assemblies of God and spoke in their church. So, I had so much things to learn, it wasn't just Catholicism. I started listening to some famous evangelists and I was wondering how could they say accept Jesus into your heart, they say they're like the Catholics, only as Catholics we go from the heart into the stomach in the communion where we go further down. I really struggled, so I had many things to struggle with. and I'd like to, in a certain sense, skip forward because those years were really difficult. I had, after about two years like the neurologist said, I really overcame the physical and mental pain completely, but I was now in pain trying to spiritually get peace with God, and those years were agonizing. But at the end, I can still remember, it was about three months before I left Trinidad, one evening I just, I said, this has got to come to an end. I say how good I am and still I drink heavily at night to get to sleep because I was such an emotional disturbance because of my seeking to know God and not finding God. I was depending on drink at night to sleep. And I said, this is not what Bible believers should do. And I still didn't have peace with God. So I went into the office, my own office, and I sat on the chair where the person came in to be counseled. And I was looking up at my own empty chair. I was trying to be objective. And I'm looking at my own empty chair, asking for advice. I'm trying to get this thing, so I'm not talking to myself. I'm trying to get it. I'm trying to get it worked out and I'm looking up at the chair and saying, well, I'm in great difficulty because I think I understand that salvation is based on the Bible alone, it's by grace alone, it's through faith alone, it's in Christ Jesus alone, but I don't have peace with God. And I drink heavily to go to sleep at night and that's not good. You know, I'm still a sinner after all these years of search. What do I do? I'm looking up at the empty chair. It's like the Lord answers by using scripture. It was like the Spirit says to me, the Holy Spirit, you have not dealt with that one verse, Ephesians chapter 2 verse 1. You've been dead in trespasses and sins. I decided I would deal with that. I went back up to upstairs in the house and I got out a Bible and I read Ephesians chapter 2 verse 1 again and I prayed to the Lord, show me that I really am spiritually dead, there's nothing I can do. And then literally, I got on the floor of my little type of apartment that was attached to the church that was called the Presbytery, and I got on the floor and I prayed, I said, God in heaven, show me that I'm spiritually dead. Give me the faith to trust you in sending Christ Jesus. Give me the faith because I cannot of myself believe. Give me the grace to accept in faith that he died in my place. Give me the peace that comes with your love and your grace that I may know Christ Jesus and the power of his resurrection. Make me your child, God in heaven. that I may be yours. I cried out to God in heaven for grace, for the gift of faith. And then I began to say, yes, Father, I believe in Christ Jesus. Yes, I accept Him as my Savior. And I started making a profession of faith before the Father in heaven. And then literally I just got on my face on the floor and I cried for about 15 minutes. That was the turning point in my life. Next day, I really knew the difference. I had a peace. When it came 12 noon, I didn't need wine to steady my hands. I used to shake with nervousness. And at night, I didn't need anything to drink. I was changed. It was just a matter of months, and I saw that I could not stay in Catholicism. I could not hear confessions anymore when people came to me to have their sins forgiven. I couldn't sit and say, I absolve you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I couldn't do that. I know that, as I said earlier on, In the video back there in 96, I could not absolve people when only God can forgive sins. Now I did with some of the older women because they couldn't understand and they were confessing sins that they were disobedient to their parents and things like that, you know, their parents were long time dead, you know, and they were a little bit senile so I couldn't explain to them, go and confess your sins directly to God. They were the only ones I gave absolution to, but I stopped hearing confessions. I really struggled, can I stay in Mass? Because I saw that Christ's sacrifice was only once offered. I was really struggling with that. I was still saying Mass, but wondering how can I continue as a Catholic priest? How can I continue because I believe in Christ personally? no church saves and it was a real struggle to me and then I had to leave Trinidad and I didn't have enough money and I cried out to God and he was saying like to me through the holy pages of scripture to trust him and that I was going to do, I was going to leave Trinidad, trust in the Lord And I now knew my Father in Heaven, I could call him my Abba Father and I knew Jesus Christ and I had peace with God. So it was difficult but I decided in prayer, praying before my Father in Heaven, that I would always have a love for precious Catholic people, to reach out to them in love, and that I could be able to really love people by giving them the message of grace. and of Father, of your love, that's the way I was praying, and of the grace of Christ. So that as I leave the church, that it would be so that I could minister to people who are Catholic. And I thank God over these years that it has been so. And so that is my message to you. Just as I had cried out to God, He is faithful and true. Look to the Lord and He gloriously saves you and it's been really worthwhile most of all in knowing Christ Jesus and knowing the love of the Father but also seeing many people come to trust the Lord and Him alone. And that I pray will be the case for you and it would be lovely to hear from you. You will see our webpage is given on the foot of the screen. And it would be lovely to hear from you, because God is gracious. And to Him be the praise, the glory, the worship and the honor, now and forevermore. Amen and Amen. Praise God. Hello and welcome to this introductory video for the Puritan Hard Drive by Stillwaters Revival Books. You will soon see why the Puritan Hard Drive is a technological revolution in Puritan, Reformation and Covenanter studies. For over 25 years, Stillwaters Revival Books has provided the worldwide Christian community with the finest in Puritan and Reformation resources. including classic and contemporary printed works, inspirational sermons, audio books, and videos. In recent years our collection of great Christian works has more than doubled, growing to a library that would occupy nearly 140 CDs. The Puritan hard drive is a tremendous library of over 12,500 Christian resources on an external hard drive that fits easily in your pocket or purse. It features the works of nearly 800 classic and contemporary authors, including John Bunyan, Matthew Henry, Jonathan Edwards, Thomas Manton, Samuel Rutherford, and Charles Spurgeon. Timeless works like the English Hexapla, Fox's Book of Martyrs, Sketches of the Covenanters, and from the Puritan Divines, the complete 34 volume set of the Puritan Fast Sermons. Many of these books are rare and classic titles unavailable anywhere else. Over 25 years in the making, the Puritan Hard Drive is simply the most extensive Christian collection ever released. The Puritan Hard Drive comprises more than 12,500 Puritan and Reformation resources. over half a million pages of great Christian books, more than 10,000 sermons and audio books in mp3 format, providing years of listening enjoyment, over 70 videos, all in all, a library of thousands of exceptional works accessible and affordable to everyone. Included on the Puritan hard drive is a custom search engine that makes it easy to find, browse, and organize the resources in your library. and much easier than trying to wade through a typical file directory on your computer. Connect the Puritan hard drive to any available USB port on your PC or Mac. The drive is self-contained so there's no software to install or configure. Within moments you can begin exploring the library by running the custom search interface. It's also a knowledge base with information about each work, including the author, title, description, keywords, and subject category. For you techies, this database contains over 15 million records of information. For all of us, that means we have an extremely powerful search and study tool. A list of all resources on the Puritan hard drive is available for viewing at any time. Here we see that the list of print materials contains over 2100 works. This view is ideal for browsing all documents or media files in alphabetical order by title or by author. The list is rather long, so using the search function of the Knowledge Base is the easiest way to find resources of interest to you. For example, let's say that my pastor recommended a book by James Henley Thornwell. I can search the Knowledge Base by author by typing his name in this field or by selecting it from the complete list of nearly 800 authors provided at the click of a button. Clicking the Search button executes the search and immediately returns a list of all resources by this author. In this case, I've quickly found the book that was recommended to me. Clicking on the green icon opens the resource, allowing me to begin my reading. Further details about any resource can be found by clicking on the book cover icon, which opens the Resource Detail page. From here I can browse the details of this work, I can add and save my own notes about it, and open the resource for reading, listening, or viewing. Your search capabilities don't end there. The majority of the rare, classic works on the Puritan hard drive now contain an embedded index. This means that the actual text of these resources is now fully searchable for the first time in history. Enter a search term in Adobe Acrobat Reader. In this case, a search for the word scripture yields instant results. Having searchable text also makes it possible to highlight, copy, and paste the text into another document, such as a sermon, a lesson plan, or a school paper. Less time spent on research means more time for reading, studying, and appreciating the resources in your library. Just another reason why the Puritan hard drive is a technological revolution in Puritan, Reformation, and Covenanter studies. Thank you for watching this introduction to the Puritan hard drive by Stillwaters Revival Books, serving Christians worldwide for over 25 years. Join us in our other videos as we demonstrate even more features and functionality of the Puritan hard drive. For more information, visit us on the web at puritandownloads.com. Until then, be well and God bless.