Well, we come towards the end of our series in the fruit of the Spirit, those graces, those evidences, those tests to see if we are a child of God. Are we truly born again? Is the Spirit, the Holy Spirit of the living God, is it alive within us? A Christian is a person who no longer battles with sin alone. They have the help of the Holy Spirit and there is a war going on. We have the desires of the flesh which well up inside us, but those who are born again We don't fight this battle alone. There is the lusts of the flesh and Paul in verse 17 of Galatians 5 says, there is this battle, great battle going on, the flesh and the spirit and they fight with each other. If you know what I'm speaking about this morning, When you are tempted to do the things of the flesh, well, there is every evidence that you are a Christian. This is one of the signs, the battle that goes on inside you. We come this morning to the final one of these graces. We have an old-fashioned word in our authorized version. The word is temperance. We don't tend to use that today because it's typically used because of a movement that went on in Victorian times. to speak of the sin of drunkenness. Drunkenness. And those that were part of the temperance society said that out of conscience, because alcohol is a great danger, that there would be those that say, we will have nothing to do with alcohol. Well, some Christians take that view. Others say that in moderation, and particularly as Paul says, for the stomach's sake, there are those at different times that can consume. We won't go into that this morning. It's a very wise thing to do, particularly for young people, can I add. that we should have nothing to do with alcohol and definitely nothing to do with drunkenness. But this word in our authorized version, it means something broader. Self-control. Not remote control, like we have with the television, but self-control. Except, as these fruits show us, It's not really us that control every passion, every temptation. We have the Spirit, the Holy Spirit. That's what Paul is saying. But the fruit of the Spirit, the evidence that God is at work within my life, And the Holy Spirit dwells within me is that the Holy Spirit is working with me. Sometimes we use this expression in partnership or it's not an equal partnership. The Holy Spirit is helping me with all his power and I'm just the willing recipient of his promptings, of his movements. of his encouragements. And so we read of temperance. Let me remind you again, the first three fruits, love, joy, and peace, those are the foundations of God's work. Every child of God will have a love for God, from God, and a desire to show that love of God in their lives. We will have joy. There's no such thing as a Christian that doesn't have joy and show joy in their life. We will have peace. Your life will be characterized by a sense of peace with God. Those are the three basics, the three foundations. And then there are what we call, I hope you're memorizing this. Now it's helpful to repeat it. There are those social graces. The ones that are communicated by and through our lives. We thought about them. Long suffering, patient endurance, gentleness, and goodness, social graces, the way people see that we are truly the children of God. And then we come on to the final three. And we said that each one of these is a bit different. The first one, faith, is about the relationship we have with God. It's vertical. Faith in God, faith from God, the gift of faith that we exercise. And then last week, We thought about meekness, the relationship we have with other people. So the third one and the ninth one all together, temperance, self-control. This is about you and you. What's your relationship with yourself? And particularly, I point to a part of the body because we usually think of it as the heart. Particularly, what's your relationship with your heart? Because you see, out of the heart is where sin comes from. Out of the heart is the lust, the desire. And those desires in men and women and children, they're fallen. They're corrupt. They're unclean. It doesn't mean that everything you desire to do is unclean. No, I'm not saying that. It doesn't mean that you can't have good desires, but very often the Bible says, and our experience is true, that even the best of desires can be had for the wrong reason, and the wrong motive, and the wrong agenda. We give to a charity. We do it to be seen. We go and speak to somebody and show kindness. And we do it because we think we'll get something back. You see, the problem is we have a heart. The flesh lusteth against the spirit. The spirit against the flesh. And these two are contrary. They're against each other. Sometimes our motive and our agenda gives the game away. It spoils us. It lets us down. So we think this morning of self-control. That's the word I'm going to use. I think it's easier for us to understand. Temperance and self-control. There's a slight problem with that phrase. Because really it's not just us that controls self. We can sometimes be tempted to think we're doing it. It's down to us, but it's not. It's a partnership. It's a contract that we make with the Holy Spirit. to respond to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Let me define what I mean by temperance and self-control. Self-control is this. It's a God-given power for a person to regulate our will, our emotions, our thoughts, our behavior, in the face of temptation. You see, I have a temptation. Let me give you a simple illustration. A child and a chocolate cake and you put the child in front of this three-tiered chocolate cake and you leave the room and you say to them, don't touch, that's not for you, that's for somebody's birthday. Don't go and lick it, touch it, smell it. It's for later in the day. Maybe there's two or three children in the room and they smell it and it fills the room. Temptation is wafting to their nostrils and they can't hold back. And so they go and one says to the other, I won't tell if you don't tell. Maybe we can just have a little taste. And if I take a little finger around the edge of the cake, we can cover it up. Nobody, I won't tell. But the problem is we get a taste. And then we want a handful, not a finger. And then we've got quite a job to do to cover up the cake and try and pretend that nobody has looked. And then there's somebody in the room that was a bit better than everybody else. Well, they need to go and tell. They need to go and say what happened. And of course, when the adult comes into the room and sees the cake, it's obvious. We know what you've done. The cake is a little bit ruined because you didn't listen. The temptation was too great. So you see, self-control is that God-given ability to say, no, I will not touch. It's not for me. It's not mine. It would spoil it. And in the face of temptation our thoughts are subdued, they're trampled down. Our emotions, they're controlled. We look at good and evil and we say, no, I will do what's right, I will do what I've been asked to do, and I'll do what would be fair. I wouldn't like somebody to take my cake and eat it. Well, actually I might, but that's a different story. What is self-control? Subduing. It's the rare quality. Let me tell you the opposite. Sometimes I speak about Disney as though it's the devil. It's not the devil. But Disney has in that famous song, let it go, let it go. And it's sung in the children. It's such a catchy tune. Let it go. That's the opposite of self-control. Self-control says, no, I won't let it go. I won't vent my emotions. I won't say what I feel like saying. I won't touch what I want to touch. I will listen to God. And with his help and strength, I'll subdue my thoughts, my emotions. I will control them. I can't do it on my own. No, that's far too big a battle. But with the strength and the help of the Word of God and the Spirit of God, I'll listen to what he says. Disney says the opposite. Just dress as you please. Speak as you please. Touch as you please. Use your body as you feel. Let me give you two illustrations in the word of God. If you turn to Proverbs chapter 25, this is very helpful. We've been looking at the book of Proverbs recently and here is an amazing picture which gives us a full understanding of self-control and what happens if we have none of it. Proverbs 25, and the final verse of that chapter. It describes your life as a city. Proverbs 25, 28. He that hath no rule over his own spirit, that's you, That's your thoughts, emotions, desires, affections, your soul. He that has no rule over his own spirit is like, that's a simile, a city that is broken down and it doesn't have any walls. Here's your life. You've allowed the walls to get broken down. God's word builds walls. Around your life, walls that give safety, protection. Keep the enemy out. Keep the wild animals out of the city. It's got big gates, the ears, the eyes. Your life is like a city bunion. Use this picture. Maybe he thought of this verse. And you see, if you don't have self-control, Your life is like a city and anybody can get in. The devil can get in. The enemy can get in. Wild animals that will destroy the people can get in. It's broken down. You've not looked after the walls in your life. You've not built them up. How do we build up the walls? Oh, God's Word. The Ten Commandments. Reading the Word of God. Making sure the walls are secure. The gates are shut. Not allowing the pollution of Hollywood to get into your life. Having control on your phone. Not looking at the things you shouldn't be looking at. Not scrolling day after day. The adults are the worst. A city whose walls are broken down. No self-control. Well, that challenges me. I hope it challenges you. Let me give you another illustration about this. 1 Corinthians, chapter 9. Paul uses a completely different picture. Not a city, but an athlete. 1 Corinthians chapter 9 and again it happens to be at the end of the chapter. 1 Corinthians 9 and I'm going to read verse 24 and through to 27. Know ye not that they which run in a race run all. They all run in that race, the race of life. but one receiveth the prize. So run, that ye may obtain the prize. And every man that striveth for mastery is temperate. It's a very similar word to temperance and self-control. Is temperate in all things, I'll explain. Now, they that do it obtain a corruptible crown, a crown of gold or a laurel wreath that gets put round the victor. But we, who are Christians, will be given a crown and a prize that's incorruptible. It won't fade, it won't decay. It's for all eternity. I therefore, so run, verse 26, not as uncertainly, so fight I. I not as one that beats the air, but I keep under my body and bring it into subjection, lest that by any means when I have preached to others, I myself, this is very challenging to me, I myself should be a castaway. Every preacher, every Sunday school teacher, be very careful. You can teach others and you don't listen yourself. So what does this mean? Here's an athlete. You're training for the Milton Keynes half marathon. You're training for the 100 meter race at school at the end of term. Well, have you trained? Have you eaten the right things? Have you gone to bed at the right time? Are you exercising during the week? Are you having self-control? Are you organizing your whole life with discipline, routine, your diet, your sleep? Are you controlling everything that could mean you get one second more or one second less in your athleticism? Paul is saying life is like a race. At the end of the race, if you've run the race and Christ is your prize, well, you will have done well if you controlled your passions, your thoughts, your desires, your social media, and you'll have done very well. if you keep your eye on that prize and you remember that the prize that you gain isn't just kudos and followers and subscribers. No, your prize is Jesus Christ, eternity with him. And through life, the Christian says, I'm in a race. I don't want to get too weak and flabby. I don't want to get too big. I want to be the right weight. I want to eat the right things. I want to have the right diet. When I go to school, when I go to work, I'm an athlete. I'm not working. I'm controlling. I'm living my life so that I'm as useful for Christ as I can be. I want to live for Him. I'm not doing it to get the award, beating on my chest and saying, look how good I am. No, I'm not like that, says Paul. No, I'm one who has an eye upon the prize, heaven, eternity. And I'm going to be temperate in all things, self-controlled, restrained. I won't say the first thing that comes into my mind. I won't allow my thoughts to control me. No, I will do as God would want me to do. So that's self-control. Well secondly, what's our need of self-control? Do we have this tension? If we go back to Galatians 5, do we feel it? Do you know temptations in your life? Temptations to neglect certain things, certain people. Temptations to form a clique in a church, where really I only like to talk to people that like to talk to me. Temptations not to look out for others. Temptations to not listen to the word of God and be doers of the same. Temptations to keep myself to myself, in my own comfortable little bubble. Or, do we listen to the Word of God? Do we know the need to regulate the time we spend in our own little group? The time we spend just talking to people of our own age, our own background? Do we regulate our thinking? Do we control those natural desires where we do like to be with people that we like to be with? Because it's easy, comfortable. Do you have that tension in your life? If you turn to the book of Romans, we can remind ourselves. Romans 7, of this great battle. We've had these verses recently, but they're so helpful. Romans 7, verses 18 to 20. And Paul says, I know, for I know that in me, that's in my flesh, my life, my natural desires dwells no good thing. I can't rely on my flesh, for to will is present with me. I've got some good desires. But how to perform that which is good, I can't find it. You see, there's this tension. Good desires, bad desires, good desires come from the word of God, from the Holy Spirit, the promptings, the urgings. And the bad desires, the unclean thoughts, the thoughts that say, nobody understands what my life is like. My life is harder than other people's. I have it much more difficult than others. Those are thoughts that come from the flesh. It's not true. Paul says, in me dwells no good thing, for to will is present with me. I have an ambition. I want to live for Christ. I want to love Christ. I want to be a child of God, but how to perform that which is good, I can't find it. Verse 19, for the good that I would do, I don't do it. But the evil that I would not, that's what I do. I do look at things I shouldn't look at. I do mix with my little clique, little group. Verse 20, now, if I do that I would not. It is no more I that do, I can't do this on my own. But sin dwells in me. This great battle, tension. If you know what I'm talking about, that's good. The battle between God's word and good and the Holy Spirit and evil. and the natural fleshly desires that are not good. If you know that tension, it's a sign that you're a child of God. You need to go to him for help. We'll come to that shortly. Let me show you just a few more areas of life where we have these battles. Turn to the book of James. You don't need to, but if you want to, James, in chapter 1. And we see that very often this great battle is won and lost with your tongue, with your mouth. James chapter 1, verses 19 and 20. These are important verses. Wherefore, says the Apostle James, my beloved brethren, he's speaking to Christians, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and even slower to be angry. I add in that for emphasis. You see, very often the first thing that goes wrong is we don't listen. We don't hear. We don't hear the word of God. We don't hear those that try and help us and guide us and direct us and encourage us. That's where it goes wrong. We don't hear. Secondly, because we don't hear, We don't say the right things. We're quick. Quick to give judgments. Quick to point the finger. Who's that person that's not at the midweek meeting? What are they doing? You don't know what they're doing. You don't know. They may have had a hospital visit that day and they're tired. They may have a difficulty at home and they can't come out. Be swift to hear. slow to speak and even slower to be angry when you see things that are not right because you might be wrong. Be very careful to be angry. The Lord Jesus was angry well on one particular occasion and he knew what was going on. We don't. Very often we can't read the room, we can't read the situation. We haven't got the information we need to give a judgment, so don't give a judgment. Speech, self-control, the two are linked very, very closely. I could turn to Ephesians 4, 26, but I won't. Managing anger when we want to control that welling up inside us where we get angry. We all do it. We bubble over and we erupt usually over trivial things. You know you're going on holiday. You haven't been told what's going to happen. You don't know the schedule. You didn't bring the right things for the beach or for this or for that and you get angry. I used to. Still do. Angry. That's where self-control is needed. It doesn't help to allow these things to boil over, spoils everybody else's day and we end up sulking. Well, let me turn to Titus. We can show how this whole issue of self-control is very helpful. Just before, Hebrews, Philemon, Titus. And chapter 2, and here is what the Lord God says to Paul as he addresses Titus. Titus chapter 2, verse 11, For the grace of God that brings salvation hath appeared to all men. Christ appeared to everybody. What did he do? He taught us that denying ungodliness, the flesh and lusts, and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world, looking for the blessed hope and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and so on. How should we live? Soberly, in a measured way, always in control. If you're not sober, you're not in control, is the argument, righteously. Righteous thoughts, righteous words, righteous actions, righteous choices, and godly. You see, you go back to verse 11, righteousness comes from heaven. That's Jesus Christ, for the grace of God that brings salvation. What's salvation? Righteousness and forgiveness. The righteousness of Christ is perfect life and forgiveness. What we need when we don't have righteousness. Christ brings us both from heaven. What does he teach the world? How to live. How to control that polluted well that's welling up inside me with all these desires and emotions and thoughts, many of them unclean, unsavory, ungodly. And how we could live, should live in this present world. Well, let me come. We've thought of the definition of temperance and self-control, our need for it. in speech and many, many other things. Well, how do we gain the self-control that we need? The third heading this morning. The definition, our need, and then thirdly, how we can be helped to control ourselves. Well, the third answer is with the help of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit, what's that all about? God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the power. The Holy Spirit works within the heart to give me the right priorities, to lead me into all truth, to show me what's right and what's wrong. The Holy Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit. He shows me what's clean and good and right, instead of what's filthy and unclean and ungodly. The Holy Spirit gives me that power. One more scripture under this heading. 2 Timothy, just back one or two pages in your Bibles. 2 Timothy 1 and verse 7. Here is the key. If you're a child of God, you have the Holy Spirit already. At the day that you were converted, you were given the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit. 2 Timothy 1 verse 7. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Here's the natural man. I'm fearful. I go to school, there's horrible people there. I'm fearful. I go to work, there's somebody that blasphemes. I'm fearful. But God hasn't given us the spirit of fear. He's given us power. Power to overcome. He's given us love. Power to love the bully. The blasphemer. And a sound mind. that is able to have thoughts that are not unclean and imbalanced, but thoughts which are true and solid and balanced and fair, looking at this world and understanding that it's going to disappear and that one day the Lord's going to come again. And what happens tomorrow at school, it doesn't really matter. It did at the time. It was painful and hurtful and the pain and the discomfort I have in my body, it doesn't really matter if I've got the Lord. And the Holy Spirit and his power and his love and a sound mind that can look beyond the pain and the difficulty and the hardships. The Holy Spirit's power. You see this is about controlling our thinking, our emotions, not letting it go. but thinking rightly, feeling rightly, living rightly. This is the way the believer thinks. Well, just some helps as we close. To cultivate. That's my title that I've not given you. Cultivating self-control. How do we go about that? Well, firstly, prayer. Dependence upon God. Watch and pray that you enter not temptation. Accountability. Secondly, if you've got a particular need and a struggle, a besetting sin, tell your husband, tell your wife, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell me. There's no one else to turn to. Not too much detail. Accountability. Accountability, that's important. Two are better than one. It's true in marriage, it's true in friendship, it's true in life. What does James say? Confess your sins, your faults, one to another. There can be great help given, an accountability partner. Don't tell everybody. Find somebody you trust. Somebody that can draw alongside. Prayer, dependence upon God, accountability. I've been struggling with this for years. Alcohol, pornography, social media. Particular issues are relevant to us individually. Do you have an accountability partner? Four eyes, not two, when it comes to the screen. Thirdly, discipline. Discipline. The athlete, the city, they speak of discipline. Build up the walls, protect your life, put out the things that cause perpetual problems. Have discipline. Do everything to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10, 31. 1 Peter 5, 8. Be alert. Be sober-minded. Have discipline. If you're struggling with the same sin again and again, there's something you're not doing. Something you should put away, get rid of. Some protection, safeguard that you should put in place. That's being disciplined. The athlete won't get a faster time if they have 12 doughnuts on a Friday. The athlete won't get a better time if they don't go to bed on time. If they don't turn up to church and worship five minutes, ten minutes before the service starts. asking for the Lord to speak to them, opening the Word of God and reading it, preparing their own hearts for worship, to receive the Word of God, to build up the walls. These are healthy habits, good disciplines, good routines. Think of a role model. We have peer pressure today, so much, for the young particularly. But role models can be good. If there's another believer in the church and maybe they're a little bit older than you, go and talk to them. How did you do that? How can we ask questions? We have people here in their 90s. They've lived a bit. They've learned a lot. Go and talk to them. Ask them questions. They can tell you so much about life. Role models can be positive, encourage and help one another. Self-control, this is a fruit of the Spirit. This is what we need in the Christian life. This is how you become strong in the time of temptation. This is how you deal with all the difficulties of life, in family life, married life, single life. Self-control. It's not really self-control. It's the power of God, through His Word, with the help of the Holy Spirit, for us to be the people that we ought to be and not the people that we are. May the Lord help us this morning to bring and put all these things into practice.