Colossians chapter 3 we are going to move into the next section here regarding the putting on the new man, and we concluded the section here up to verse 17, which was the dress of the new man. So the dress, the garments, the clothing that we had gone through, and we concluded that the last time we were together. And tonight, we begin a new section, a very practical section, a very simplistic section, that I'm entitling the home of the new man, the home of the new man. So what is the home of the new man going to look like? Well, we're gonna start tonight in one aspect of that. So let's look at the section. We'll read all of the verses. Verses 18 through 21. The Bible says this, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." True faith in Jesus Christ not only changes individual people, but it changes homes. It changes families. Churches, denominationalism, and the world have so long disregarded the whole teaching of scripture and have just diminished it and disregarded it. Instead, what they do is, in so many cases, they accommodate the world by fitting the Bible into their own standards and their own thinking. And what the Bible teaches is then rationalized out of its authority by an explanation that it just mirrors some sort of out-of-date, irrelevant cultural belief. And it is true that the Bible does run contrary to culture. It's counterculture. It's contrary to today's thinking concerning the marriage relationship. It's contrary to today's thinking concerning the family. But the true way of thinking is characteristic of the worthy walk, the walk that is characteristically new for the new man in every way. It is therefore a prime target of Satan, the home, the family, is a prime target of Satan. Why? Because it is the first institution that God created on this earth. And so if you can destroy a marriage, if you can destroy a home, then you can destroy society. And we see that happening in our culture even today. The home being destroyed, society breaking down, and then what ultimately results is chaos. If you can keep people busy with their messed up marriages, then people then have no time to do things for the Lord. They have no time to make an impact on society for God because they're spending all their time trying to fix their marriage and keep their marriage together. And ultimately, who suffers? It's the next generation. Now, as we have gone through the book of Colossians, we have learned that the Lord Jesus Christ is the only place where we are to find our satisfaction, and the only place where we are to find our fulfillment. And we can have satisfaction, and we can have fulfillment in Christ. And our relationship with him positionally is necessary for our salvation, and our relationship with him practically is necessary for our sanctification. And it's also necessary for a life that is to please Him, to please God. And so in order to stay in a right relationship with Him, that is in fellowship with Jesus Christ, we must maintain our purity. And we looked at that in the previous verses here in chapter 3, when we talked about putting on and putting off and mortifying and putting to death the sins of the flesh, and then putting on a new character and a new lifestyle that is consistent with the new man. the fundamental behavior that represents the Lord Jesus Christ will then be manifested in the Christian everywhere, in their individual lives, in the church, but also in their homes. So there is a kind of home that someone who is in fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ is supposed to have. There's a specific kind of home that the new man, the believer, is supposed to have. In contrast, the home of the unbeliever, the home of the unsafe person, that home struggles against the effects of the curse of sin, because that home is still bound by the curse of sin. Sin separates man from God, and in turn, it separates man from other people. It breaks those relationships. It breaks those bonds. The unsaved has no spiritual absolutes within himself that will enable him, that will enable that person to be able to know how to relate with one another, with other people, in a truly selfless way. But on the other hand, the believer is rooted in the word of God. The believer is founded in scripture and has scripture as his foundation. They are an inheritor of God's kingdom. And they are the special objects of God's love. And every essential human need for the believer is met in Jesus Christ. So the believer then has the basis for having the proper relationships within society that ultimately will bring glory to God. Nowhere in the world is the Christ-honoring behavior that results from our sufficiency in the Lord Jesus Christ contrasted with unbelievers in the world. We find that nowhere contrasted more than in the Christian home. The home is the most basic and most important institution in our society. Good homes are the basis of a good society. Godly homes also are the most fundamental form of the principles of authority and submission. And without these principles being learned and followed in the home, then there will be a breakdown in all other places in society. Colossians chapter 3 verses 18 through 21 explains to us God's design for the family. It explains to us what the new home of the new man should look like. And it provides us with instructions, clear and simple instructions for Christian living in the home. Now, tonight, as we look at the first aspect of this, It is interesting. I think this is probably, of the verses we read here, the only one that is really controversial. And that is, wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands. That is controversial. That is not politically correct. Now, if you look at all the other ones, husbands love your wives? Yeah, 100% in agreement with that. Children are to be obedient to your parents. Even the world believes that. But when it comes to tonight's topic, wives submitting to their husbands, that one is very controversial. But we're gonna talk about it. And all the men say? Amen. So what was God's original design for the family? Don't worry, man, we'll get it. There's a few things for you tonight. Well, sadly, when thinking about the family, when you look at scripture and really in society, there's not a lot of good memories. There's not a lot of great memories. In the Bible, this was interesting. I read this and thought I'd include it. There's only four chapters in the Bible without sin, the first two and the last, the last two. Therefore, scripture has many tragic stories about families showing the devastating effects of sin upon families and family relationships. Think about the first family, Adam and Eve. They sinned. And Adam responded by blaming his wife. They had two children, one of which murdered the other. Abraham, God's chosen man, married two wives, breaking God's original design. And he eventually kicked one of his wives out with her child. Jacob married several wives like his grandfather and his 12 sons eventually sold their younger brother into slavery David to espouse many wives and we know all the serious Family consequences that David suffered as a result So when we look in Scripture we see a lot of examples of of just tragic family relationships. When we consider the biblical narrative, we see many family relationships that were broken by sin, and it's no different today. Today's story is no different. Sin still destroys family relationships. And therefore, in society, we don't have a lot of great models of God's design. In fact, today we even see the effects of sin and how culture has redefined the family and redefined the institution of marriage and how that has affected our culture. And even in the last 10 to 15 years, we've seen it take even a further step in the degradation of that institution. So what is God's design for the family and how can we have the relationships that God meant us to have as Christians? Are the relationships that I have with my family a proper reflection of my heavenly standing in Christ? Ask yourself that question. Are the relationships that I have with my family a proper reflection of my heavenly standing in Christ? So the question remains, what about our relationships? How about them? How should our position in Christ affect our relationships with our family and our family life? In this passage, we're going to see the responsibility that each family member has to one another. in God's original design, according to the Apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. And in this passage, Paul provides very brief but very direct instructions on the Christian living in the home. He discusses three relationships in the ancient world in their homes, the husband's relationship with the wives, the parents' relationship with the children, and then the master's relationship to the servant. And so Paul here gives a word to wives, he gives a word to husbands, he gives a word to children, he gives a word to parents, he gives a word to servants, and he gives a word to masters. So first, we're gonna look tonight at the wife and her responsibility to her husband. That's found in Colossians 3, verse 18. The wife's responsibility to her husband. Look at verse 18. It's very straightforward. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Now turn over to Ephesians quickly. Chapter five, this is the parallel passage, and I just want to read that. Ephesians chapter five, verse number 22. Says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. So what is the wife's responsibility to her husband? The new wife in the new home Her responsibility is to be submissive to her own husband. Now most people in the world, and maybe even some of you, shudder when you hear this. They shudder at the thought of a wife being in submission to her husband. The word submission often carries with it a very negative connotation in our society. But it must be noted that submission does not mean inferiority. Submission does not mean inferiority. The word submit is actually related to a military word. And the word simply means to arrange or to order under rank. The verb means to come up under or to subject oneself, not by compulsion, not by force, but willingly and voluntarily. That is what it means to submit. And notice here, men, that there is no command addressed to the husband to make their wife submissive. Okay, maybe as a man you think that's my responsibility. It's to make my wife be submissive. Well, that's not what your responsibility is here in this passage. This submission is done willingly and voluntarily. The husband is rather to love his wife. He is to be the initiator in that. The wife, though, is to submit herself to his leadership. And that is a decision that she must make for herself under God. Now, many people believe that the leadership of the husband, that that means that the wife is inferior. If the wife submits to her husband, that somehow that means that she's inferior. This is wrong. Look at Galatians chapter 3, verse 28. Galatians chapter 3 verse 28 says this, there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. This verse clearly affirms that spiritually there is no difference between the male and the female in the sight of God. Ladies you must remember This is this is and this is a really important thing to remember. You must remember that Jesus submitted to the father While he lived on this earth yet. He said what I and my father are one they were equal and And so as humans, man and women are totally equal. Scripture makes clear that. There are no spiritual, there are no moral distinctions among Christians. There are no classifications of Christians. Every believer in Christ has exactly the same salvation, whether they're male or female. They have the exact same standing before God, no matter whether or not they're a man or a woman. They have the same divine nature. They have the same divine resources. They have all of the same divine promises, and they have the same inheritance, whether they're male or female. In Acts 10, verse 34, and Romans 2, verse 11, both say that God is not a respecter of persons. So there is equality in Christ. However, our equality and unity in Christ does not remove our God-given roles. And so we're going to look a little bit at that what Galatians teaches Galatians teaches does not change the fact That the slave the sermon was still supposed to submit to his master and be obedient to his master That was his role even though he was an equal with the master in his standing before God and Some in the liberation movement take Galatians chapter 3 and verse 28, and they pit that verse against Paul and his other teachings, and they pit them one against another. And they say that women no longer need to submit to their husbands, or that women do not need to practice submission in the church like we see in 1 Timothy chapter 2, because we're all one in Christ. But this greatly damages the teachings of scripture. These scriptures are meant to fit together. They're meant to harmonize with one another, not contradict each other. Even so, as marriage partners, there is a functional difference between the man and the woman, the husband and the wife. Each partner has a distinctively different God-given role and function in the marriage relationship and in the family. So if it is a problem for you as a lady to submit to your husband, then you have a deeper problem. And that is the problem of you yourself submitting under the headship of Christ, the one who taught this teaching. So there's some confusion in the sense that people will say that someone who says you have to submit to your husband, that makes you somehow inferior. But there's also a confusion that some will say that submission equals absolute obedience. Now it is important to understand that submission is not fully absolute. Obedience here in the passage is reserved, and you see this in other scriptures, for children and for servants. The words are different. The two Greek words used for submit and obey are different. Now, that is not to say that there isn't a place for obedience by the wife as it relates to submission. And we'll see that in a little bit in Titus chapter 2, as well as in 1 Peter chapter 3. But what it is to say is that a husband is not to treat his wife as a servant or as a child. but as an equal, for whom God has given him the responsibility to care for and to provide for and to protect. And it's all to be exercised in love. And she is not his to order around, responding to his every wish or his every command. As Paul expands on this in the Ephesians chapter 5 passage that we read, the husband's primary role is to love. to provide, to protect, and to serve his wife and his family, but not lord himself over them according to his own personal desires. And so the husband should love and to care for his wife. Now, there may be times in a relationship where a wife must refuse to submit or obey her husband's leadership if the husband seeks for his wife to violate a clear command of scripture, as the wife is still bound by the passage in Acts 529 that says that we ought to obey God rather than man. So why is the woman called to submit to the man? Why is that? Why do we see that? Well, the passage here tells us that the reason wives are to submit to their husband is because it is fit in the Lord. And this communicates that this responsibility to submit to their husband is how God designed and commands the wife to operate. This is the way that God originally intended it. This is God's plan for wives, that they submit themselves unto their own husbands. And how is this reflected in the rest of scripture? Well, we're going to look at some of the scriptures. This goes all the way back to the story of creation, all the way at the very beginning. Submissive wives is fit in the Lord because it is part of the divinely instituted hierarchy in the order of creation. And this command for wives to submit is not limited to just Paul's day. As is clear from two reasons that he gives elsewhere. So let's look at 1st Timothy chapter 2 and verses 12 through 15. And then if you'll turn to 1st Corinthians chapter 11, we'll look at a couple passages. that relate to this. 1 Timothy chapter 2 and then 1 Corinthians chapter 11. 1 Timothy 2, verses 12 through 15 say this, but I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. And then flip over to 1 Corinthians 11, and look at verse three. But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God and then if you look down versus seven through nine. We see why. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. So these two passages Both teach that the woman is to be in subjection under the husband, under the man, because God created Adam first, and then Eve. And God placed Adam as the head of his wife, Eve. 1 Timothy 2, verses 12-15 further teaches us that the woman is to be under subjection to the man because it is part of the curse of sin. We see the effects of sin specifically in marriage relationships, and we see it in the marriage union right after the fall. So let's turn back to Genesis chapter 3, and let's look at what happened after the fall. What we're looking at here is why the woman is called to submit to the man. Why is this? How is this God's design? Where did this all come about? Look at what God prophesies as a consequence to marriages in Genesis 3, verses 15 and 16. Bible says, and I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed. It shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Now, verse 16. Unto the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. So there's one part of the curse of sin. And then the second part is found in the end there, that thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. God says here that the woman's desire would be for her husband. Now, does this mean that because of sin, the woman would naturally want to serve her husband? No, absolutely not. It actually means the opposite. We see the exact same word here used for desire over in chapter 4, verse 7, as it relates to Cain. It relates here to sin and sin's relation to Cain. God says to Cain that, sin lieth at the door, and unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him. The same word desire there. The word desire here means to compel. to impel or to urge or to seek control over See sin wanted to master Cain Sin wanted to control Cain it wanted to Have him it desired to control him. It wanted to dominate him, but God wanted Cain to master sin Now in relation to the woman God says the curse on Eve was that she would no longer inately desire to serve her husband and but that she would seek to control her husband, that she would seek to usurp his headship, and that he would then resist that desire, and he would rule over her as a despot. as a despotic ruler. That was not in God's original plan for man's headship. And that ultimately, when Adam and Eve sinned, the roles were reversed. Eve took on the role of the man there. And it set off a chain throughout all of time where the battle between men and women began, right in the garden. This is where women's liberation and male chauvinism started. It started in the garden. with Adam and Eve. And so because of sin, women now have an inclination to usurp man's God-given authority, and then men have a sinful inclination to put women down under their feet. It's all part of God's curse on humanity, but that can be overturned. It requires a manifestation of God's grace in Christ through the Holy Spirit to restore God's original created order and harmony of proper submission in a relationship that has become disrupted by sin. And if you go back to our text in chapter 3, we talked about this. It's been a while. In verse 10, as we talked about being renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him. And so there's this idea that as a believer, we can be renewed in this and have, in a certain sense, at least positionally, this image of God that we can be renewed in, in this knowledge after the image of him that created him. Now you see, again, this idea in Titus chapter 2. Go to Titus chapter 2. Titus chapter 2, verses 1 through 5. Again, we see this idea of wives and submission. It says, but speak thou the things which become sound doctrine, that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Here again we see that wives are to be discreet, to be chaste, to be keepers at home, to be good, and to be obedient to their own husbands. Now, that word that is translated obedient here is actually the same word that's translated, the same form of the word translated, submission, in Colossians 3. And so we see that there's a connection here with submission and obedience. And why is this? Is it because of the culture? No. It's in order that the word of God might not be blasphemed. And there's one interesting thing that, as I was reading through this, to point out. Commonly, we will say, yeah, wives submit and husbands love. That's the roles, that's the responsibility. But it's interesting to point out here that actually, in verse four, you see there that the older women are to teach the young women to be sober but also to love their husbands. So there's an aspect here, and we see even in Ephesians 5, verse 21, where right before it goes into this family relationship, it says, submitting yourselves to one another. So there's an aspect that we think about the man being the one who's to lead and to love, and the woman's supposed to be the one to follow and submit. But the woman's also supposed to love her husband. And the man is also to, in a sense, submit to his wife, submitting yourselves to one another. And so what we see here is a mutual love, a mutual submission that takes place in the marriage relationship. Turn over to 1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter 3, we see an example of this. And we see this idea of submission again. Likewise, ye wives, this is verse one, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. The conversation, the idea there is their lifestyle, their behavior, their manner of life. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plating the hair and wearing of gold or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner, in the old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands. even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. So again, you see this connection between obedience and submission. Whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. So here, what do we see? We see that Sarah obeyed her husband. And she was exalted, and she was honored for it, and the focus here is not the overbearing, brow-beating, authoritative relationship, but rather a voluntary cooperation with her husband. The husband's leading, and the wife is falling in line and submitting. One commentator put it that the husband is the president, while the wife is the vice president. It's kind of an interesting way to think of the relationship. And what a wonderful result you can see, even in 1 Peter 3, a wonderful result that can happen when a saved wife submits even to her unsaved husband. What do we see? Verses 1 and 2. Likewise, you wives be in subjections to your own husband, that if any obey not the word, that they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. So the wonderful blessing of a wife that is saved, that has an unsaved husband that she submits to, he can see that lifestyle and that submission. And it doesn't say that it's a guarantee, but it says that they may, without the word, be won by the conversation of the wives. I really liked how the way that Matthew Henry kind of sums up this whole marriage relationship. He says it like this. Submission is the duty of wives. It is the same word which is used to express our duty to magistrates. Let every soul be subject to the higher powers. And is expressed by subjection and reverence. The reason is that Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. He was first in the creation and last in the transgression. The head of the woman is the man. And the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. It is agreeable to the order of nature and the reason of things, as well as the appointment and will of God. But then it is submission, not to a rigorous lord or absolute tyrant, who may do his will and is without restraints, but to a husband, and to her own husband, who stands in the nearest relation and is under strict engagements to proper duty too. And this is fit in the Lord. It is becoming the relation and what they are bound in duty to do. as an instance of obedience to the authority and law of Christ. On the other hand, husbands must love their wives and not be bitter against them. They must love them with tender and faithful affection as Christ loved the church, and as their own bodies, and even as themselves, with a love peculiar to the nearest relation and the greatest comfort and blessing of life. And they must not be bitter against them. Not use them unkindly with harsh language or severe treatment, but be kind and obliging to them in all things. For the woman was made for the man. Neither is the man without the woman, and the man also is by the woman. 1 Corinthians chapter 11. So in conclusion, a happy marriage does not come automatically. It is something that we must work at all the time, every day. As we walk with Christ in submission to him, we have no problem submitting to one another. We have no problem seeking to serve one another. But where there is selfishness and self-gratification, there will be eventually trouble in the home. Where do we get the strength to love and to submit? we get it from the Lord. And if we are wearing the grace clothes that we've supposedly put on in the first part of this passage, if we're wearing those clothes described earlier in Colossians 3, verses 5 through 14, and if we have our hearts filled with the peace of Christ, and if we have our minds filled with the word of Christ, then we will contribute to the joy and harmony of the home. Don't want to miss the point that this passage falls right in after all the put on and put off if we live to please Christ first and then others second and and ourselves last, then we can build strong homes and strong marriages that ultimately bring glory to God. So first, the first step in that is the wives must be in submission. To who? Their own husbands. Let's pray your heavenly father. We're thankful for your goodness to us. We're thankful for your word and the the instruction of your word we're thankful for the practicality of your word and how It gives us step-by-step instructions to live by pray that you'd help it to work in our lives in our hearts in our in our homes that they would be Homes that please you and bring honor and glory to you in Jesus name. Amen. I