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that passage of 1 Peter 3 to
try to help marriages in trouble. One day, I went and began reading
more of the Bible. I'm telling you, if you're taking
notes, please make note of this, that before 1 Peter 3, in our marriages. Then I found
out that there's more in 1 Peter 3 that continues after verse
7. And I thought, man, there's stuff
here that applies to our marriages. So we're going to consider 1
Peter 2, verse number 19. endure grief. Because what I
was hearing so often is, well, God wouldn't want me to suffer. That's the justification for
just about everything that Christian wants to do that would otherwise
be under the heading of sin is, well, you know, but if I do right,
if I do, you know, if I follow the ideal path, you know, then
I would suffer and God doesn't want me to suffer. The Lord says
right here, if for conscience, A man, as a result of his discontent
toward God, is willing to endure grief. That's thankworthy. God
says, thank you for that. And it goes on to say about this
man in verse 19, the last two words is suffering wrongfully. And so I thought, wow. even if it means enduring grief
and suffering wrongfully. Verse 20, for what glory is it
if when you be buffeted for your faults you take it patiently,
but if when you do well and suffer for it? When you do well and
you're being buffeted. I'm not going to take you to
the extreme of being beat up. I do draw the line that if a
man becomes physically abusive and a physical threat to his
wife and children, I think that's where you're coming to a point
where I think she has a right to take her children and leave
the premises and go find a safe place until that situation's
worked out. I'm not talking about sitting
there and taking a beating or having your children abused. What I'm saying, though, is that
there's a lot of other areas in which we hurt one another
that come far short of you know, being slapped around or beaten
up. Buffet, suffer. When you do well and suffer for
it, in verse 20, ye take it. I don't understand the King James
Bible. Oh yeah, we don't use this kind
of language anymore, do we? Just to take it. Take it patiently. I just get so tired of it. Take it patiently. suffering. For even here unto
were ye called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving
us an example that ye should. What's those next three words?
Follow his steps. Follow his steps. Where do the
steps of Christ lead you as you follow him? They lead you into
an endless bliss? Phenomenal marriage with no problems,
you know, all your needs supplied, everything you possibly want.
No, we go back and it has to do what it says, suffering wrongfully
resented. When you do well, suffer for
it. So he steps lead us to what then? Suffering. Now, and that doesn't
necessarily have to mean suffering in your marriage, but it could. and you wanna be pleasing to
God, let Him see that you're willing to suffer as Christ has
already suffered for you, leaving you an example to follow His
steps. And I think what this would do,
if we were to get hold of this, it would help close the door,
the exit from so many marriages today where we are now so weak
And it's like, well, you know, if I don't get what I want, if
I'm disappointed, if I'm disillusioned, if I feel like my needs aren't
being met, if I feel like, you know, this person just aggravating
me and makes me and hurts me, hurts my feelings. Therefore,
I have a right to look at my alternatives. And the Lord says, we go into 1 Peter 3 verses 1-7,
I mentioned I've used that a number of times to help people whose
marriages are in trouble. Yeah, either a spouse is lost
or behaving like as if they weren't, they aren't even truly been saved,
but they're just totally away from God and living by the flesh.
How to win them back to Christ first, yourself second. Then
we come to 1 Peter 3 verse 8, because I found out that, hey, There's a greater context here.
So verse 8, finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion
one of another, love his brethren, be pitiful, full of pity. So you've got this person and
maybe he himself is suffering and being pitiful toward that
person. You want the best for them. You want them to have a
good judgment seat of Christ. You want them to have a good
life. It's not always just thinking about me, it's having pity upon
the other. Be courteous, that would sure go a long way in marriage.
Just not forgetting please and thank you. A good reality check
for us guys is how we can let our wives have six bags of groceries
if they're struggling to take up the stairs to the second floor
apartment, and it's like, she's fine. She's fine. But let that beautiful blonde
approaching Oh yes, is it because it's me?
Anyway, enough of that beautiful blood. We're approaching the
automatic electric eye doors into the store. And we're right
there and say, I'll get that for you. And so we're tripping over ourselves,
you know, to help some physically beautiful individual. But somehow
we forget to be courteous to the person most vital in our
lives. Verse nine, expanding on that,
not rendering evil for evil. And right here in this lesson,
we're really coming to the crux of it now. And in order for us
to get there, we've got to define evil. Because evil, we think
automatically, a synonym for evil is automatically, what do
we think? We think evil equals, anybody? Satan. Satan? How then do you rightly divide
the word of truth when God does evil? Oh yeah, it's all through
the Bible. So how do you reconcile that?
Well, if we properly define evil, then we'll have a problem. Because
evil is injury, harm, damage, destruction. When my kids were young, we made
liberal use of the rod of correction. better known to most people,
she was spanking. And you know, at that moment to that little
child, and I made sure, and it is going to hurt. I'd rather
it hurt you somehow, rather than having life hurt you a lot worse
later. You didn't have any discipline and self-control. So yeah, we
made sure, you know, if they were wearing a diaper, the sluts
went, I didn't necessarily like to do a bare bottom, but the
swats go just below the diaper. I'm not going to let the diaper
insulate them from, you know, they're going to hurt and crying
out and all that availed them nothing. It's not a matter of
crying. And by the way, unless you think
I'm a brute, our standard is three swats and more, maybe four
or five only in extreme cases, or if they threw a tantrum or
scream or whatever, then that would call for extra swats. I
wasn't quite to the point of the mother of John and Charles
Wesley. Mrs. Wesley's approach was, you whip
them until they cry, and you keep whipping them until they
stop crying. And she raised 12 pretty awesome kids, including
John and Charles. But I'm just saying that to my
child at that moment, that was an evil. It hurt. So we get hurt. and we don't hurt back by word
or action. Or not rendering, railing for
railing. Now if that sets off any bells
in your mind, this idea of railing, it may be taking you back to
the cross, where they railed on Jesus. It's a verbal attack,
just merciless. It could be behind the person's
back, but more common, it's right to their face. And so, what do
you do when your mate rails on you? That's an evil. You don't
give him back. They rail on you, just lose their
control, or just go berserk, screaming, and invectives, and
perhaps even swearing, and you just don't go there. You don't
go there. and we're not gonna render evil
for evil, really, for really. See, what we are gonna do in
verse nine, but contrary-wise, let's go to the opposite. What
do you think of them instead? It's a blessing. You're gonna
find something kind and sweet. And even there, you gotta be
careful how you do it, because you come across as being superior. You
know, like, all right, fine, you just cussed me out, but now
I'm gonna show how much better a Christian I am than you. God
bless you. voice, bringing down the volume,
and just say, you know, what you said, I'm going to take it
to heart. I think you probably got some
good points there. I'm grateful for what you just shared with
me. I needed to hear that. I just want you to know how much I love
you, how much you've done for me and for these children. And
I just want to say how much I praise God for you. And I'll tell you, according
to God's word, that's how much And in fact, it says in verse
9, instead, give him a blessing, knowing that ye are there unto
called, that ye should inherit a blessing. Your blessings are
on the line. You say, no, no, he doesn't deserve
it, he's not gonna get that from me. You know, the old saying,
you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. Face, I don't
like you, never gonna cut off my nose, just to show you how
much I like you. That's not the way to go about it. You, your
blessings are on the line. You let Satan convince you to
get in the flesh and you now spout evil. You now rail on them. They hit you, you hit them, whatever
the extremity. They threaten you, you threaten
them. And there's so many different ways that this can be run with.
But instead, you give them a blessing. And that can have residual effects.
It can spread out like a stone in the water and affect your
mate. I don't care if he or she doesn't
deserve anything. How about your kids? How about
your parents? How about his parents? And on
and on it goes. It spreads outward. Verse number
10. For he that will love life. Oh
Lord, thank you for putting me in the Bible. That describes
me. I want a life I can love. I know
we're not to fall in love with this world, per se. There's still
some things about this world I see at the hand of my Creator.
Being from Sonoma County the last number of years, I love
redwoods. I love the hills. I don't like the product that
they use the vineyards for, but I sure love the vineyards. And
I love the coast. And even after 6,000 years of
man's sin, messing everything up, there's still incredible
beauty out there. And I want a life I can love. I want to
be able to just going through life and just loving it. And
not only that, in verse 10, he that will see good days. I like that better than the alternative.
You know, rotten, lousy days. says okay here's a formula for
it for you to get that to get a life you can love and good
days that you will enjoy let him oh what's that next word
in verse 10 let him what refrain his what hold back your tongue
bite your tongue let him refrain his tongue from what you bite it off, and you bite
your head, and even if you've got tears running in your face
for the way you've just been slaughtered emotionally, I'm
just not gonna give it back. And you've got the goods, you've
lived together all these years, you've got the goods. We're gonna
talk somewhere in here, maybe we'll talk about knowledge, using
knowledge all right. You know some things that could
just devastate your mate, throw him back in their face, You don't
do it, you're not gonna use that evil. Oh, it says in verse 10
there, and is less that they speak, next two words, no guile. No guile, now guile has to do
with deception. It has to do with, you know,
what we're talking about here, because it's interesting how
when we get angry, we can go into hyper drive magnified, everything gets exaggerated. And two phrases I'd encourage
you to be careful of, you always and you never, both of which
are bold-faced lies. But that's what I'm talking about
here, you know, we go to extremes. Verse 11 continues on, so this
is a continuing sentence. and do what in its place and
do good. Now to eschew is to get away
from, to avoid. So you avoid the evil. It's opening up before you this
golden opportunity to slam that person and you just, I'm not
gonna do it. I'm not gonna talk about running
away to mom. and I'm not going to talk about abandoning him,
and I'm not going to talk about going to see a lawyer, and I'm
not going to talk to him about my options, and I'm not going
to talk to him about having an affair. I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to entertain my own thoughts, and I'm not going
to throw that in his face, as tempting as it would be. So it
says in verse 11, that it was too evil, and he hates that.
Hating the very thought of hurting your mate. Hating the very thought,
as much as they are hurting you, that if you hurting him, you
hurting her is an abomination to you. He can't stand it. And by the way, let's remind
ourselves that you're not gonna have to answer for what they
do to you. You can answer for what you do to him or her to
the Lord one day. So it'll pay off in the long
run to learn this kind of constraint. Verse 11 continues, instead of
evil and good and putting good in its place, It says in verse
11, let him, next two words, seek peace. This is if you want
a life you can love, if you want good days, seek peace, and interesting
phrase, ensue it. Now this is largely a copy of
Psalm 34, and in Psalm 34 it's pursue it, pursue peace, running
after peace. But ensue is a little different
take. Both are valid. Alright, we've got a situation
where we are at war with Imperial Japan, and if we invade the home
islands, they are fanatically devoted to their emperor, they
see him as a god. They will fight to the death,
they are arming themselves all the way down to their children.
Men, women, and children will all seek every means possible
to kill Americans. And so our president, Harry Truman,
decides to use the brand new weapon just developed after giving
warning to the Japanese government, which they ignore, they drop
the first of two atomic bombs. Give them a couple of days, the
Japanese still don't respond, they drop the second. And largely
eliminating in a matter of moments, two major Japanese cities, Hiroshima
and Nagasaki, ensue peace, they talk about
suing for peace. What's it take for us to end
this war? And in the process, can I remind
you, probably saved at least a million American lives and
millions of Japanese lives. As horrible as those weapons
were, I'm just saying that it got the job done under those
circumstances. And it caused a bitter enemy
to sue the thing that they said they would never do. They find
it broken and to do it, sue peace. And so it is, you know, finding,
you know, looking for, pleading for, seeking, how can we come
back to peace in our home? I want the peace. If you want
to have a life you love and have good days, you're going to want
to have a peaceful home. And so he says in verse 12, for,
or because, the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, those
who do right, and his ears are open unto their prayers. And
if your marriage is stressed, you need then more than ever
God hearing and responding to your prayers. And if you're saying,
I know what that preacher's saying, I don't like it. I don't believe
it. I'm not going to follow it. All I'm saying is you're even
closing heaven. And you're not even the instigator. You're just the responder. And
you respond improperly and heaven is closed to you at the moment
you most need it. You say, well, what do I need? This thing does totally break
down. What if it doesn't? I mean, my wife and I have known plenty of what
we thought were godly couples, ended up in divorce court. And
almost every case, we knew which spouse we'd rather see the kids
with, predominantly, if not exclusively. And sometimes one mate just goes
off the rails and goes totally berserk, goes totally worldly,
totally carnal. And I don't see that child raising
at home. And so, I'm just saying that It may come down to a number
of factors, not least of which is just the Lord repairing the
relationship. And at that moment, you desperately
need, when you have no other recourse, you need God. And you want His ears on you.
And so if you're doing these things in verses, actually I
want to go back to verse 1, but if you're hearing everything
up through verse 11, and it just doesn't seem to accomplish anything,
and things are still going from bad to worse, sympathy of Almighty
God. And I may not be able to find
justice with lawyers and judges and the legal system, and maybe
I've even got family turning against me. They're on his side,
her side, but not my side. And all these things are turned
contrary. I have at least one God in my corner. It says, his
ears open to prayer. Oh, oh, oh, but first of all,
let's continue. but the face of the Lord is against them that
do what? Back to that evil again. You
say, no, listen, I think I have every right to do this. And a lot of people in the world
say, including some Christians, they'd say, yeah, you know what,
you're so right. And this is where you're gonna
be so careful that you don't allow worldly counsel, even from
other Christians, sense to you on this earthly
plane, I plead with you, do it God's way. Because otherwise
you'll turn God himself against you. In these 15 minutes we have
left, let me turn back to Psalm 34, which I referenced a few
moments ago. And I want to take you through several scriptures,
because this matter of evil in the next 15 minutes to address
this critical matter. So have nimble fingers. Psalm 34 verse 12. Why may I
see the desire of life and love of many days that he may see
good? I'm glad I got, you know, 68 years has been great on this
earth. I'd like to have a whole lot
more. I'd like to live such a long
and fruitful life. I might even catch up to Mike
Rogers someday. Here it is, keep thy tongue from
evil. Don't let your tongue be injurious
and cause damage and harm and pain to another. And thy lips
from speaking guile. Don't be cunning, don't be deceitful. Verse 14, depart from evil and
in its place do good. Find ways, listen, that person
won't even talk to you any longer. They're so angry. I just suggest there's many nonverbal
ways of communicating your love. And I know there's all kinds,
listen, all of you here these days, but all of us who are pastors
know the most outrageous things that Christians can do. And how far are you willing to
trust God in this? You have a spouse that's betrayed
you, in the process of betraying you, perhaps has abandoned you,
is doing harm to you, and yet you just look for ways to do
that person good, and let the Holy Spirit deal with his heart,
and your goodness will go a long way toward that. That's another
factor in my making, 1 Peter 3, verse 1 through 7. And it
says, depart from evil, do good, seek peace, and pursue it. God's
word upon the righteousness of Israel unto the tribe, the faith's
word against them that do evil, to cut off remembrance of them
from the earth. That's pretty strong language.
And this is one reason why, and that's both, notice that's from
Psalm 34, echoed by Peter in 1 Peter 2. It seems to me, in
1 Peter 3, it seems to me that when we, as you're now turning
to Proverbs 3, it seems to me that when the Bible talks about
the fear of the Lord, What it's talking about is, wait for it,
brace yourself, the fear of the Lord. Because I already got issues
with the world, the flesh, and the devil. And I don't need God
turning against me and his heavy, heavy rod of chastening being
brought down upon my life. And so as much as I love the
Lord and knowing that God is love, I'd also be wise that while
I'm in this flesh, in this sinful world, I would do well to retain
the fear of the Lord. And I hope you only push God
so far, and then when he pushes back, buddy, you're in deep trouble.
Proverbs 3 verse 7 says, be not wise in thine own eyes. Yeah,
because everybody's got their excuses why they're not gonna
do what God said. Pastor Roger, did you ever know
Dwight Tomlinson here in the Bay Area? Oh, yeah. So, really,
Tomlinson was our first independent Baptist pastor. And he was my
first boss as a pastor. He says I was his first staff
member, but I was one of the first. And I also, by the way,
I also have the record for the most fired staff member I think
he's ever had, and then rehired over and over and over. I was
a young guy. Anyway, okay. What I'm leading up to is this
great preacher, who by God's grace is still going strong today.
I remember so vividly, he used to say, if Christians would just
do what they know they should do, they'd have no problems.
Because when you're talking to them, they'll tell you, I know
what I should do. And they'll tell you, and it's
exactly right. And then they'll tell you why
they're not gonna do it. And their situation would go from
bad I can't believe at any moment
that you could have regained control and you're going right into the
earth. What? Just do what you know you should
do. And so be not wise in their own
eyes. Verse seven, fear the Lord. And what's those next three words?
So you see the evil and just turn away from it, eschew it,
have nothing to do with it. Because it's right there, those
words are right there. That action is right there, that
retribution is right there, that getting even is right there,
and you let it go. Verse 8, it shall be health of
thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. It'll keep you healthy,
keep you strong. Dropping down to verse 27, withhold
not good from them to whom it is due. You have certain good,
that you are contractually, or if you would prefer, covenantally
required to perform for your mate. And you just don't withhold
that good. It's like, you know, how can
I cook a nice meal for a guy who behaves like that toward
me? Or how can I provide for a woman who's done that to me?
And hey, withhold that good from them to whom it is due. When
it is in the power of thy hand to do it, say not to thy neighbor,
not to thy neighbor, go and come again, tomorrow I'll give, when
thou hast it by thee. Do what you're to do, and do
it in a timely fashion. Go to chapter, we're in Proverbs,
go to chapter eight, verse 13. Eight, 13. Which says in Proverbs
8, 13, the fear of the Lord is to, next two words. See, if you
have a fear of God, you hate evil. Because God hates evil. And your fear of him is like,
I dare not. goes on after the Kola in verse
13, he tells us some things. This is now Jehovah interrupting
here in the middle of what Solomon is saying to his son Rehoboam,
or the Heavenly Father is saying to us as his sons. He gives us
this list of the things that he hates. Pride? Oh man, there's
a lot of marital issues right there. If we went back to the
book of Genesis, that she was, Abe was meant to
be and help meet for Adam. That he was to love her. We go to the book of Revelation
and we find out that all things were created for his pleasure. Everything's for his glory, his
pleasure. It's not about me, what I get
and what I feel I deserve. That's all. can see. So often our our problems
that do is we just think way too much of ourselves and the
evil way is something God hates and the froward mouth, the mouth
that just gets out of control and there's not even there's
no effort made to rail it in. God says all those things at
the end of verse thirteen, do I what? He hates it. We have a hard time associating
hate with God but here you go. He hates it when we're prideful.
He hates it when we're arrogant. He hates it when we indulge in
an evil way, even if the person deserves it, as we saw in 1 Peter
2 and 3. And the Lord hates a froward
mouth. It just refuses to be brought
under discipline. Froward means perverse, ungovernable,
disobedient, and a great old word we don't use much anymore. you quit being so evil. That's
all we're talking about here. You say evil, I think of it as, I am your father. And we think
Darth Vader, that's evil. You know, the devil, that's evil.
And I look in the mirror sometimes and go, that's evil. There have been times we've had
a preacher in my pulpit that was evil. A lot of evil going
on among God's people. God's trying to get rid of it.
Proverbs 14, 16. A wise man does what? He feareth. I was at Williams the other day,
and they have this beautiful, really great restaurant. You
may have been there yourself. Is it Grinzell's, is that what
it's called? In Williams, beautiful place. And I walked along, and
there, on ground level, the place where all the little children
would be, is this beer, which is bad enough, but anyway, and
it's called Blank Blow. And take one of the most foul
English words out there, I said, what do you guys do with
this stuff here? Well, I'm just the manager over
here in the food area. You want Dino over there at that
counter. I go to Dino. I said, Dino. And he right away
told us, this customer isn't happy. And I said, Dino. And
he surprised me with a yes. I said, I thought you had such
a nice restaurant. And you guys go put this stuff
down here that is abominable. It's horrible that children see
that word, and you treat it like it's nothing. legal. Of course, we're going
to make alcohol legal because it's going to, they're going
to buy it somewhere anyway. And of course, we're going to make
marijuana legal because we're going to do it anyway. Of course, we're
going to make pornography legal. We're going to do, might as well
get some tax dollars on it and might as well put a filthy word
down there for all the children to see right, right where everybody
walks by because it's profitable. Isn't that all that really matters?
I'm just saying that a wise man feareth and we, we need to, we
need to come back to where we, we fear Not just the consequent,
and that's one of the words that's now become taboo, right there
with duty. Duty, don't try to float that
word with the average evangelical Christian today. Man, don't wonder,
you're trying to, I've had them say to me, you're trying to put
us back under the rock. And I'm thinking, well you could
use some water, actually. You want to talk about one of
the most controversial messages ever preached? I said, let's
hear it for the Pharisees. And those guys, they put themselves
under these huge constraints more than they had to, but at
least they were trying to do right. I know there's a lot of
pride involved in that, but I just pointed out some things and said,
hey, there's some things I'm pretty sure about these guys.
They messed it up by rejecting their Messiah, but I'm losing
my crowd here too. departeth from evil, but the
fool rageth." Would you think about that the next time you
fly into a rage at home? It's so tragic what our children
are exposed to. And then there's, we're now drifting
into other marriage instruction, but you got a problem, take it
to your bedroom and close the door, go sit in the car where
the kids can't hear you, And when you come out of the bedroom,
mom and dad are hugging, hugging, kissing, kissing, and madly in
love. The kids, I don't want to shield them too much from
the realities of life. There's a lot of realities. I'm
just a child, I have to deal with them. There's plenty of
time later for that. But as far as they're concerned,
mom and dad are just mad. Going back to Dwight Thompson,
it had such an impact on us, a lot of stories. I said, look, look, look here,
look at, look at me, look at daddy. I just want to announce
your mother and I are not getting a divorce. And they continued
eating. He just wanted to know. That's
not on the table. That's not an issue. He said before, he says, you
know, I would never, I'd never divorce Gail. And he said, you
know, if she was ever to become unfaithful, he would, you know,
he would, They would still live together, but you would no longer
feel that you have relations with her. That's a whole other
thing. I kind of like one other preacher I heard say, he said,
my wife and I, he said, we've never, we've never had a disagreement. We've never had an argument.
He goes, we've considered homicide a few times. We've never had
an argument. And so the fool rages and is
confident. They're so sure. two people are having a disagreement,
if you only hear from the one, that other one is just the most
rotten person on the face of the earth. Until you talk to
somebody, you talk to the other one, and find out everything
gets flipped. There's all of a sudden a lot
of information you weren't told by person A about person B, and
then you find out why person B has their aims against person
A, Do they not err that devise evil? But mercy and truth shall be
to them that..." That's the last two words. Devise good. You know, you want God's blessings? You want mercy to come down for
you from heaven and truth coming down to you from heaven? Then
you look for ways to devise good. Just making life miserable and
look for ways to devise good for that person and you're going
to get God.
Strengthening Your Marriage
Series 2024 Marriage Seminar
| Sermon ID | 42824450295946 |
| Duration | 38:43 |
| Date | |
| Category | Conference |
| Bible Text | 1 Peter 2; 1 Peter 3 |
| Language | English |
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