Amen. All right. Well, we're there in Hebrews chapter number four. And of course, on Wednesday nights, we're studying through the book of Hebrews, and we're not going to spend a lot of time in Hebrews this morning. But we are continuing this morning a sermon series we began several weeks ago, if you remember, on the subject of emotional intelligence. And I won't spend too much time reviewing, but I do want to just remind you of several things we've been learning. We've been learning about this idea of emotional intelligence. We've been looking at it through the lens of the Bible. And we've been learning how to biblically raise your EQ, your emotional intelligence, and of course we've defined emotional intelligence and we've been using this working definition for emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize and regulate your own emotions and your ability to recognize and regulate yourself around the emotions of others. And just real quickly, let me just recap what we've learned, just to catch you up as quickly as I can. Obviously, if you weren't here for any of those sermons, the two sermons that have been preached before that, I would encourage you to check them out on our website, and you can catch up that way. But if you remember, the very first week we were in this series, I preached a sermon entitled, Dumb Emotions. And what we learned was that emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and regulate our emotions and the emotions of others. And that our emotions are dumb. We learned about the fact that our emotions are dumb. And we were not meant to be led by our emotions. We were meant to be informed by our emotions, but not to be led by our emotions. And when we allow ourselves to be led by our emotions, then we make dumb decisions. Because emotions are dumb. They're not logical. They're not reasonable. And that's why we were the masterminds behind all the stupidest decisions we've ever made in life. All the biggest regrets that we have are due to us allowing ourselves to be led by our emotions. So we learned about that the first week. And if you remember last week, We learned about awareness of self. And that's where we must begin. When it starts with emotional intelligence, we have to begin with ourselves, of course. And I gave you several steps to develop your self-awareness or awareness of self. And of course, I feel like I hear a little bit of an echo. If you could help me with that, I'd appreciate it. And let me just remind you what we learned about last week. We learned that to be self-aware, you must examine yourself. And we learn that to examine yourself, you must not lie to yourself. And we learn that in order to not lie to yourself, you must consider that maybe you are wrong. And of course, when you consider that maybe you are wrong, and you don't lie to yourself because you consider that maybe you're wrong, and that allows you to truly examine yourself, then that's when we become truly self-aware of our emotions and what we're feeling and what we're doing. and things of that nature. So that's where we've been so far. This morning, we're going to continue with this idea of emotional intelligence. But this morning, we're going to deal with not the awareness of self. We talked about that last week. But we're going to talk about awareness of others, awareness of others. And there's really just one word that kind of captures this idea of awareness of others. And the word is empathy. empathy. And we're going to learn about empathy this morning from the Word of God. We're going to learn about empathy in regards to the awareness of others. And of course, I encourage you to take notes on the back of your course of the week. There's a place for you to write down some notes. And maybe you can jot these things down as we study this idea of empathy. And I'd like to begin this morning by, first of all, giving you an example of empathy. an example of empathy. And to be very honest with you, I'm not just giving you an example of empathy. I'm giving you the example of empathy. The Lord Jesus Christ, if we study His life, of course, we can learn so much about life through the ministry and life of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I will submit to you that Jesus is the greatest example of empathy. And we see that not only in theory, but we also see it in practice. We see it in reality in the life of the Lord Jesus Christ. We're here in Hebrews chapter number 4, and I'd like you to look down at verse number 14, and I'd like to just show you this idea of empathy in theory through the life of the Lord Jesus Christ. Hebrews chapter 4 and verse 14. Notice what the Bible says, seeing then that we have a great high priest. And of course this is referring to the Lord Jesus Christ. The theme of the book of Hebrews is that Jesus is better. Jesus is better than the priests. Jesus is better than the prophets. Jesus is better than Abraham. He's better than Moses. He's better than the angels. Here we see that he's better than the Old Testament high priest. And the writer of Hebrews is telling us that we have this great high priest that is passed into heaven, into the heavens, excuse me, notice Jesus the Son of God let us hold fast our profession. And the Bible is teaching us here that Jesus, of course, is that High Priest. And I won't take too much time to develop that. We've been studying about it in the book of Hebrews. But, of course, the High Priest in the Old Testament was that man, that priest that would intercede between God and men and would offer that sacrifice of redemption in the Old Testament. And we know that that was symbolic of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the great High Priest that is passed into heaven. He mediates on our behalf. Notice verse 15, Hebrews 4, 15, 4. And the word for here means because. And he says, for we have not in high priest. And what he's going to tell us is why it is that the Lord Jesus Christ is such a great high priest and why it is that he has passed into heaven, why it is that he can mediate on our behalf. The Bible says that there is one God and one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus. And here's the qualifications. Obviously, Jesus is God in the flesh. He's the son of God. We understand those things. But notice what he says. He says, for we have not in high priest. And when it comes to this idea of empathy, I would say that the next few words, the next phrase is probably the greatest definition of empathy that we find in the Bible. And it's said about the Lord Jesus Christ. It says this, for we have not in high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. And the idea here is that He can be touched, and He is touched with the feelings of our infirmities, but was at all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. He's not like us, He's without sin, but though He's not like us, He is still able to be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. There's a double negative there. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. Look at verse 16. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. I want you to notice that connected with this idea of empathy is also mercy and compassion. because he can be touched, verse 15, with the feelings of our infirmities, he offers us mercy, he offers us grace, he offers us compassion, because Jesus really is the example of empathy now let me just give you some definitions and we're just kind of getting started here but i'd like you to understand that hebrews 4 15 we see the that the lord jesus christ is the example of empathy for we have not in high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities he can be touched with the feelings of our infirmities that is empathy now do me a favor, keep your place there in Hebrews, we're going to come back towards that part of the Bible, but go with me if you would to the book of John, the Gospel according to John, towards the beginning of the New Testament, keep your place in Hebrews, put a ribbon or a bookmark or something there, and then go to John, towards the beginning of the New Testament, you have Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and then when you get to John, do me a favor, put a ribbon or a bookmark or something there, because we're going to go back and forth between these two books, Hebrews and John, And while you go there, let me just give you a few definitions. Because maybe you're here this morning and you're thinking, I've heard the word empathy. I'm not really sure what that means. And what I found is that often the word sympathy is confused with the word empathy. So let me just give you a couple of definitions to help you, or a few definitions to help you understand that. Let me begin by defining for you the word sympathy. What does the word sympathy mean? And I think that's something that maybe we're more familiar with. Here's how the word sympathy is defined. or state of feeling sorrow or compassion for another. And I think that would make sense to us. Sympathy is the act or state of feeling sorrow or compassion for another. Sympathy is feeling for others. Feeling for others. So, when something bad is happening to somebody, or something that's not right, or not fair, or whatever, and we feel bad for them, we have compassion for them, we feel for them, that is a definition of sympathy. And I think that's probably something that most people are familiar with. Sympathy is the act or state of feeling sorrow or compassion for others. What people would often ask or maybe be confused with is, well, then what is the difference between sympathy and empathy? What is the difference between sympathy and empathy? Well, sympathy is the act or state of feeling sorrow or compassion for another. It is feelings for others. Feelings for others. The word empathy—let me give you a definition for that—is the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing from within the other person's frame of reference. Let me just say that again, because I want you to get that. the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing. Not from your frame of reference, not from your experience, not from your understanding, but from within the other person's frame of reference, the ability to place oneself in another's shoe. And just to be clear, let me help you understand. Sympathy is feeling for others. Empathy is feeling with others. Sympathy is when you just have a feeling, and usually it's a negative feeling or some sort of sad feeling, compassionate feeling, and you have that for someone else. You hear about something that they're going through, you hear about something that is happening in their lives, and you feel that for that individual. That is a good feeling. Nothing wrong with that. And I think we should have sympathy for others. But empathy is something a little different and something miles different in regards to relationship and how we make people feel. Because sympathy is simply feeling something for another individual. That's good. Empathy is feeling something with another individual. See, Jesus did not feel sympathy for us. He did feel sympathy for us, but the Bible says that he felt empathy because he is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. That's empathy. Let me just give you another one real quick just to give you the full picture. I'd like to define for you also this word apathy. Because one thing I've learned in ministry is that oftentimes people who struggle with empathy, it's because they have too much apathy. Here's a definition for apathy. Lack of feelings or emotions. Impassiveness. Not feeling or showing emotion. Lack of interest or concern. Indifference. Lack of feeling for something. Apathy is when you're indifferent. You just don't care. You don't have sympathy and you definitely don't have empathy. It just doesn't make a difference to you. And one thing that we need to understand, and the reason that empathy is so important, is because empathy leads to compassion. Empathy leads to compassion. The Bible says that He's touched, that Jesus is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. And then it says, because of that, verse 16, you're there in John 11, just let me read to you from Hebrews 4, 16, Why can we come boldly unto the throne of grace through the Lord Jesus Christ? Because of His empathy. Because He's touched with the feelings of our infirmity, and it says that we may obtain mercy and find grace, help, and time of need. There is a connection between empathy and compassion. Empathy and mercy. Empathy and grace. Empathy and forgiveness. These things are connected. So we see the great example of empathy, the Lord Jesus Christ, and we see it here in Hebrews chapter 4 in theory. But then I'd like you to notice it in John chapter 11 in reality. In John chapter number 11, we have a story that really, and we could look at a lot of stories of the Lord Jesus Christ showing empathy and having empathy. I think John 11 is a good story to highlight that. Notice John chapter 11 in verse number one, the Bible says this, now a certain man was sick. named Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary, and her sister Martha. It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. So there's this man named Lazarus. He has a sister named Mary. We'll also learn here that he has a sister named Martha. Look at verse three. Therefore, his sister sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick. Now Jesus had a relationship, a friendship with these siblings, with Lazarus and Mary and Martha. And when Lazarus had grown sick, the Bible says there was a certain man that was sick, a certain man was sick named Lazarus. Then the sisters sent a message to the Lord Jesus Christ, and they said, he whom thou lovest is sick. Verse four, when Jesus heard that, he said, the sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God. that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. Now Jesus already, of course, being God in the flesh and knowing all things, knows at the end of the sickness, in the end, at the end of the story, Lazarus is not going to die or stay dead. He says, this is happening for the glory of God. Look at verse 5. Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister, and Lazarus. I want you to notice that Jesus loved these individuals. He was friends with these individuals. He had a relationship with these individuals. He loved, the Bible says clearly there, verse 5, now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. The narrator of the book of John is telling us that Jesus loved these individuals, but these individuals were aware of that love because in verse 3 they send the message about Lazarus to Jesus saying, he whom thou lovest is sick. So these sisters knew that Jesus loved their brother Lazarus. Look at verse 6. still in the same place where he was. Then after that, saith he to his disciples, let us go into Judea again. And I won't take the time to develop the whole story. There's reasons why Jesus waited on a practical level, but on a spiritual level, he waited because he actually wanted Lazarus to die. He didn't want Lazarus to die because he wanted Lazarus to die. He wanted Lazarus to die because he wanted to resurrect Lazarus from the dead as a show of his power and that it would be glory to God. Look at verse 11, John chapter 11 and verse 11. These things said he, and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth, but I go that I may awake him out of sleep. Now at this point in the story, Lazarus is already passed, he's already dead, and Jesus says to his disciples, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth. Throughout the Bible, often for believers, death is referred to as sleep. It's often not referred to as death or being dead. And the reason for that is because a believer never truly dies. Their body might die, but to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. And not only that, but the reason that the Bible calls it sleep when a believer dies is because in sleep there is this understanding that the individual will wake up. Well, in the death of a believer there is this understanding of the resurrection, that one day that body will arise. It'll wake up. So Jesus here says about Lazarus, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth, but I go that I may awake him out of sleep. Verse 12. Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well. They don't get it. They don't understand what he's saying. They're like, well, Lord, if he's taking a nap, then why wake him up? I mean, he's he's he's fine. So then Jesus had to just kind of, you know, he had to put it down on the bottom shelf to make sure they understand. Verse 13. How be it Jesus spake of his death? But they thought that he had spoken of taking rest and sleep. Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead. Skip down to verse number 33. Like I said, we won't take the time to develop this whole thing. Jesus gets word that his friend Lazarus, whom he loveth, is dead. He tells his disciples, let's go wake him out of sleep. They are on their way in this journey to go resurrect Lazarus from the dead. Now here's what I want you to understand, and here's the reason why I even read as many verses as I did. Jesus knows. Jesus knows how the story will end. Jesus knows that Lazarus will resurrect. In fact, Jesus waited two days to orchestrate this miracle that it might be for the glory of God. That's why the Bible says there, And it says there in verse, you don't have to go back to it, but in verse 4, this sickness, Jesus said, is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. Jesus understands. Jesus is in control. Jesus is God in the flesh. By the way, no matter what you and I are going through, we should always take comfort in the fact that Jesus knows what He's doing. and Jesus is in control. He knows how the story is going to end. He knows how this will be documented in John chapter number 11. But I want you to notice in verse number 33, the Bible says this, when Jesus therefore saw her weeping, He shows up and He really shows up in the middle of what we might call a funeral service or a time of grieving and you have Mary and Martha, they hear that Jesus is coming and we're skipping some of these verses for sake of time, but they come out to meet him, and they even say and kind of accuse Jesus and said, Master, if thou had been here, our brother, he wouldn't have died. And they kind of blame Jesus, which is also an emotional intelligence aspect that we'll come to at another time. And the Bible says here in verse 33. When Jesus therefore saw her weeping and the Jews also weeping, which came with her. Notice these words. He groaned in his spirit and was troubled. Now, Jesus knew how the story was going to end. In fact, Jesus was there to resurrect Lazarus from the dead. But Martha doesn't know that, and Mary doesn't know that, and the rest of the people there, they don't know that. And I want you to just notice the empathy of the Lord Jesus Christ. He doesn't walk in just stoic and apathetic and saying, why are you crying? I'm going to solve this problem. Why are you weeping? I'm here to resurrect him. I want you to notice that here we get an insight into the feelings of the Lord Jesus Christ and the empathy of the Lord Jesus Christ. Though he's God in the flesh, though he's there to resurrect Lazarus, Though he's there to take control of the situation, the Bible tells us that when he saw her weeping and the Jews also weeping which came with her, notice it there, verse 33, he groaned in his spirit and was troubled and said, Where have you laid him? And they said unto him, Lord, come and see. And then we have the shortest verse in the Bible, maybe one of the most popular verses in the Bible, definitely one of the easiest verses in the Bible to memorize. If you've never memorized a verse in the Bible, I recommend John 1135 for you. We have these two little words, but I would say they are powerful words. Jesus wept. Jesus wept. You say, why did Jesus weep? Didn't He know He was going to resurrect Lazarus? You know why He wept? It's because He saw her weeping. And the Jews also weeping. And we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. And though he knew how the story was going to end and he knew what he was going to do, he still not only felt for, please understand this, empathy is not Jesus feeling sorry for them. It's Jesus feeling sorrow with them. He knew what he was going to do. But because he's the example of empathy, he felt with them. He groaned in his spirit and was troubled, verse 35. Jesus wept. And notice the connection between empathy and compassion. Then said the Jews, behold how he loved him. So I want you to get the example of empathy. is the Lord Jesus Christ. And by the way, your goal as a Christian, and my goal as a Christian, is to follow the example of the Lord Jesus Christ, and to try to be and live like the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ living in me should be the goal of a believer, and if we're going to try to be like Christ, then we must develop empathy like Christ. He did not only feel for them, He felt with them. And I would say this, that Jesus loved Lazarus and Mary and Martha. He whom thou lovest is sick, is what they said. John said, now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. And when the Jews saw that Jesus wept, they said, behold, how he loved them. And I would say to you this morning that if you do not develop personal empathy, you will never have and you will never be a real friend. You'll never have a real friend without empathy. And you'll never be a real friend without empathy. So we see this example of empathy. We see it in theory. We have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. And we see it in practice, in reality. We see the Lord Jesus Christ, when he saw them weeping, he wept, he groaned in his spirit. Why? because he wasn't just feeling for them. If he was feeling for them, then he could say, look, I'm going to fix it. It's going to be fine. I'm about to resurrect him from the dead. But Jesus was not just someone who had sympathy. Jesus was somebody who had empathy. And because they were weeping and they were sad and they were sorry, he sorrowed with them. That's empathy. That's an example of empathy. Now, if you would, let me give you an explanation of empathy. I think you probably understand it, but let's look at it from the Bible. You'd be surprised how much the Bible talks about this. The Bible never used the word empathy. That's a word we've used to define this emotion. But the Bible describes and talks a lot about empathy. We just saw the great example of the Lord Jesus Christ, the example of empathy. But now let me give you an explanation for empathy. You're there in John. If you would, go with me to the book of Romans, Romans chapter number 12. If you're in John, you'll go past the book of Acts into the book of Romans, Romans chapter number 12. Now Romans chapter number 12 is actually a verse that is written to a local New Testament church. Not just a local New Testament church, but it's written about the local New Testament church. It's not just a verse that's written to the church at Rome, it's a verse that is written to all churches. And this applies to all churches. And this is something that's supposed to describe all churches. And I would say to you this, that church, look, we live in a world today, you want to know what the opposite of empathy is? The opposite of empathy is selfishness. And unfortunately, you and I live today in this selfie society where everyone is only concerned with self. And I would say that we probably live in the most non-empathetic society that maybe has ever been. But the culture of the local New Testament church should be a culture of empathy. It should be a culture of individuals that are definitely not apathetic and not only sympathetic, they not only feel for someone, but that they feel with someone. Notice it there in Romans chapter 12 and verse 15. Here's a command to All churches, local churches. Romans 12, 15. Rejoice, notice, not for them. Not for them. Rejoice with them. Rejoice with them that do rejoice. And weep. And weep. Not for them. Not for them. I mean, that's fine, but that's not enough. He says weep with them that weep. That's empathy. Empathy is rejoicing with them that do rejoice and weeping with them that weep. Now what's interesting if you study, and I won't take the time to do it this morning, but you can do it on your own if you'd like. If you look at Romans chapter 12, it's clear that the passage is about local New Testament church and local New Testament church ministry. Here's what's interesting. If you flip over to 1 Corinthians chapter 12, you're there in Romans chapter 12, if you just flip over to the next, book, also chapter 12, 1 Corinthians chapter 12, you have another passage that is again focused on the idea of local church ministry. In fact, Romans chapter 12 and 1 Corinthians chapter 12 are parallel passages. They're in different books of the Bible, written to different local churches, but they deal with the same sort of content, and they're very parallel to each other. Both are speaking towards local New Testament ministry. Notice what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12, 26, Notice the word, with it. See, the local New Testament church should be a place that is full of empathy, where we rejoice with them that do rejoice, and we weep with them that do weep. Whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it, or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it. Continue to keep your place there in John, if you would, and go back to Hebrews. If you kept your place in Hebrews, look at Hebrews chapter 13. Hebrews chapter 13. Empathy is to feel, not for someone, but with someone. In fact, while you turn there to Hebrews 13, let me read to you an excerpt from a very famous book by a man named Daniel Goldman, who probably made this emotional intelligence subject popular in our day. The book is called Emotional Intelligence. I'm reading from page 119. Here's what he says, in tests with over 7,000 people in the United States and 18 other countries, the benefit of being able to read feelings from nonverbal cues included being better adjusted emotionally, more popular, more outgoing, and perhaps not surprisingly, more sensitive. See, there's a benefit to empathy. There's a benefit to awareness of others. Let me just show you another verse, just real quickly, Hebrews 13 and verse 3. The Bible says here, remember them that are in bonds. This is referring to people that are in prison. And specifically here, it's referring to people that are in prison for the cause of Christ. The writer of Hebrews is reminding his audience, remember them that are in bonds. And I want you to notice what he says here. He says, as bound with them. That's empathy. He said, don't just feel bad for our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that are in prison for the cause of Christ. He said, don't just feel bad for them. He said, I want you to remember them as bound with them. He's saying, I don't just want you to have sympathy. I want you to have empathy. Why? Because empathy is not just feeling for, but feeling with someone. And for those of you that are in the selfie culture and you need a selfish reason to care about empathy, which is crazy to me, let me just say this, if you develop empathy, like we read from our excerpt here, you will be better adjusted emotionally, more popular, more outgoing, people will like you more, because nobody likes someone who's apathetic. Nobody likes someone who's selfish and only cares about themselves. So we talked about an example of empathy. We saw the Lord Jesus Christ. We've spoken about an explanation of empathy. I can notice thirdly this morning, and we're on our third point, but this is where we'll spend the majority of our time. I'd like to give you an exhortation for empathy, an exhortation for empathy. How do we do this? And how do we develop it? Well, I'd like you to continue to keep your place in Hebrews, if you would. And if you kept your place in John, go back towards that part of the Bible. But not John. Go to Matthew, if you would. If you're there in John, you'll just go backwards past Luke, Mark, and Matthew, Matthew chapter 7. The thing about popular books in our society today, especially books that actually are teaching things that are of value, is that all of it has been ripped off from the Bible. The Word of God has all the answers, and what people do today is they take principles and wisdom from the Word of God, they give it a different name and don't give credit to the Lord Jesus Christ, and repackage it and sell it as some sort of secular wisdom. But if there's any sort of secular wisdom that's actually wise, just mark it down, it came from the Word of God. And Jesus was actually the first person to teach, I would say God is in the Old Testament, but Jesus in the New Testament was actually the first person to teach on the subject of empathy, on the subject of awareness of others, on the subject of emotional intelligence. And I'd like to give you some thoughts here regarding the development of empathy, or how Jesus taught us to develop empathy, because I often deal with people, and when we get on this subject, and maybe we do or don't use the word empathy, but when we get on this subject, and people say, well, I struggle with this idea of empathy, and I struggle with this. But what I would say to that, and please don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but I am trying to be a little sharp with you, because maybe you need to be sharp with, help you stir up some emotions. And it is this. If you say, I struggle with empathy, that's a lie. You have the keys in you to be empathetic. You have already in you what you need to have empathy. You say, why? Because you're selfish. And because I'm selfish. And because human beings are by nature selfish. And if you can understand selfishness, you can understand empathy. You say, what do you mean? Well, look at Matthew chapter seven. Look at verse 12, one of the most famous teachings by the Lord Jesus Christ. Matthew chapter seven and verse 12, we know this as the golden rule. Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, Well, the past three minutes, you don't understand. I'm not an expert at knowing how to treat people. I'm not an expert at knowing how to talk to people. I'm not an expert at knowing how to treat, make other people feel. I'm just not a communication person. I'm just not really in touch with my emotions. And I just, OK, no problem. I get it. You haven't read all the books on emotional intelligence. You haven't studied these things. My wife and I have been in ministry for 13 years. And ministry in 13 years is a study on empathy. I'll tell you right now. You say, well, I don't have that. I'm not an expert in that. Okay, but here's what you are an expert in. You are an expert in knowing what you would that men should do to you. You're an expert at knowing how you want people to speak to you. You're an expert at knowing how you want people to relate to you. You're an expert at knowing how people make you feel. And Jesus said, if you can know that, and we all know that. We all know that. Even the smallest child knows how they feel when they feel. They know that they're not happy when someone took that doll from them or took that toy from them or whatever it might be. And Jesus said, Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you. That's selfishness. We're all experts on that. He says reverse that and you have empathy. Do ye even so to them. For this is the law and the prophets. So how do I develop empathy? Here's how you develop empathy. How do you want to be treated? Treat people that way. How do you want people to speak to you? Speak to people that way. How do you want to be made to feel? Make people feel that way. But wait a minute, wait a minute. That only takes us halfway there. Because I already know the holier-than-thou is out there. Well, I wouldn't, if I was going through that situation, I wouldn't, and if I had that, and if I thought, okay, well, hold on a second, hold on a second. But what if you were raised in the same way they were raised? What if you had the same experience they've experienced? See, empathy is not just feeling with them, it's not just feeling, well, how would I want to be treated? It's how would I want to be treated if I were them? From their perspective, from their experience. Because look, as a pastor, I have a goodly heritage. I was raised in a Christian home. I've been a Baptist my whole life. I've been a Baptist longer than I've been saved. I'm not saying that everything in my life was perfect or whatever, but there's not much for me to complain about. But empathy is not me looking at other individuals and saying, well, if I was in your shoes, here's what I would do. Now, oftentimes, that is the counsel that we can give. But when we want to experience empathy, what we need to do is put ourselves in the other person's shoes and say, well, how would I feel if that was happening to me and I was that person? I had that experience. I grew up in that home. That's what empathy is. So before you say, well, I wouldn't react that way if I wasn't in those shoes. But what if you were raised like they were raised? What if you just got saved like they just got saved? What if you had the same experiences, the same traumas, and the same troubles? And here's what I'm saying. Empathy is not only feeling for them. How would I feel in that situation? That's sympathy. How would I feel if I were them? That's empathy. And we're going to come back to this idea, and we're going to circle back to it in a few weeks when we talk about conflict resolution. Let me just help you understand something. Looking at something from another person's perspective does not necessarily mean that that's going to change your mind. Seeing it from another person's perspective does not mean that they're right and you're wrong. It also doesn't mean that you're right and they're wrong. Seeing it from somebody else's perspective does not mean that you're going to necessarily agree with them, but seeing it from somebody else's perspective, even if they're still wrong, will help you show mercy and grace and patience and love. And stop having this attitude that says, well, I don't understand why they can't. Well, you don't understand why they can't because you haven't walked in their shoes. And someone with empathy would say, well, if I was experiencing that, here's how I would deal with it, but I'm not that person. And what I'm going to try to do is try to understand it Not only from their point of view, but from their perspective. Because Jesus said, Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them. If you get your place in Hebrews, would you go to the book of James? It's right after the book of Hebrews. Hebrews, then you have the book of James. While you turn there, let me read to you from Galatians 5.14. Galatians 5.14 says this, for all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. You know what Ephesians tells husbands, you wanna be a good husband? Love your wife like you love yourself. And then here, the royal law tells us, the golden rule tells us, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Look, you'll have no problem, you'll have no problem loving other people. if you just love them like you would love yourself. You understand what I'm saying to you? If you would treat them like you would treat yourself. If you would care for them like you care for yourself. James 2.8, I'm not sure if I read it, let's just read it. If you fulfill the royal law, according to the scriptures, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and here's the key, as thyself. And if you love thy neighbor as thyself, he says, ye do well. For all the law is fulfilled in one word. Even in this, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. And here's all I'm saying to you. If you want to succeed in your relationships, if you want to be a good spouse, be a good parent, be a good child to your parents, Have a good relationship with your fellow church members. Have a good relationship with the people you work with. Have a good relationship with the people you interact with. I'm just telling you, the key is empathy. It's not feeling for, but it's feeling with. I mean, have you ever experienced this? I would say the most frustrating thing, the most frustrating thing in the world is when you're feeling a lot of emotions about something. You're really frustrated about something that's happening, or you're really excited about something that's happening. You're really heartbroken about something that's happening. You're really angry, maybe, about something that's happening. And the person you're communicating with, just stoic. I mean, you're like, I'm so frustrated with this. It's the most annoying thing in the world. And oftentimes, when I was younger in ministry, my wife and I were younger in ministry, we would struggle a lot because we often find ourselves having to wage into and wade into situations that are very difficult, meeting with people in hospitals and meeting with people in areas at the most difficult times of their lives. Earlier in ministry, we would struggle a lot, and I would struggle a lot with, well, what am I going to say? And what do I say to this person? And what's the right thing to say and not the right thing to say? And what verse can be comforting? And all those things are good. I'm not minimizing any of that. And I think as pastors especially, we should communicate well, and we should have verses available to try to help people. But you know what I've learned? That it really matters not as much what you say. Because what people really want is for you to feel with them. It's for you to share the emotions they're sharing with, they're sharing, they're experiencing at that time. Again, I think it's good to prepare and have words to say and things of that nature. But oftentimes people say, well, what do I say? What do I say in this situation? What do I say to that situation? And what do I say here? And what do I say there? Let me tell you something. Don't say anything. Just be frustrated with what I'm frustrated with. Just be excited about what I'm excited with. Just be heartbroken about what I'm heartbroken with. Just be touched with the feelings of my infirmities. That's all people really want, is for you to care. Is to feel what they feel. Not feel for them, but feel with them. Someone said this, people will rarely remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. And I'm just here to tell you, all of us need empathy in our lives. In your relationships, ask yourself. And oftentimes, you deal with situations, and people say, well, they're mistreating my kid, or they're mistreating my spouse, or within spouse, my mother-in-law and my father-in-law. And I tell people this, well, how would you want your mom to be treated? How would you want your dad to be treated? Well, then let's treat your spouse's mom that way. It's not that hard. It's not that complicated. You're good at the selfish thing. Just really dig into that selfish thing, but just turn it around. and you'll have empathy. So we see the exhortation for empathy in theory. And look, I believe that you can work at it. I believe that you can just focus in on this idea. Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them. Treat people the way you'd like to be treated. Be less focused on this idea of, am I saying all the right things? And just feel with them. Feel with them. But let me just give you how to develop empathy and reality. Because the reality is this, if you would, go to 2 Corinthians chapter 13. If you kept your place in John, you have John, Acts, Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians. We're gonna look at 2 Corinthians, we're gonna look at another passage after that, and we'll be done, all right? 2 Corinthians, another passage after that, and we'll be done. In theory, in theory, We should all be able to develop empathy by simply asking ourselves, well, how do I feel? And how do I want to be treated? How do I want to be made to feel? And then I'm going to do that for other people. And I'm going to feel what they feel. And again, if you just say, how do I act in this situation? Don't feel for them. Feel with them. Feel with them. They won't remember what you said. They'll remember how you made them feel. But let's just talk about in reality. In reality, what my wife and I have found over 13 years of ministry is this. The people that have developed the best empathy is because they have gone through something. Unfortunately, that's just the reality. 2 Corinthians chapter 1 and verse 3, the Bible says this. Blessed be God. even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, 2 Corinthians 1.3, I want you to see it, the Father of mercies, and look at the last part of verse 3, the God of all comfort. Oftentimes the question is asked, why does God allow trouble into our lives? And I would say to you that one of the reasons that God allows trouble into our lives, I'm not saying this is the only reason or that this is exclusively the reason, but one reason that God allows trouble in our lives is that we would have an opportunity to be comforted by God. The Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, look at verse four, who comforteth us in all our tribulations that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble. by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. Why does God allow trouble in our lives? One reason is so that we can experience comfort of God. But I would say it to you and I would submit to you that another reason that God allows trouble in our lives is not just that we might be comforted by God, but is that we would then have the capacity to comfort others. Look at verse four. Look at it again. Who comforted us in all our tribulations, Look at it, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble. You say, Pastor, if you knew my story and you knew the trauma I've gone through, you knew the tragedy I've gone through, you knew the tribulation I've gone through, and I'm not here to minimize any of your stories, I would say this, and please don't misunderstand what I'm about to say to you, but don't waste that tragedy. Don't let it be for naught. Maybe God meant it to be a time for you to get close to him, that he could comfort you. But maybe God also meant it that you could turn around and comfort them, which are in any trouble. That we may be able to comfort them, which are in any trouble. Oftentimes, the people with the highest levels of empathies are the ones that have gone through something. They've experienced trouble. They've gone through some things. It is often the people who have gone through something. and have the most empathy. Now, again, you don't have to go through some trauma to develop empathy. You can develop it on your own. You can develop it just by following the word of God and putting yourself in the right reference of mine and all those things, asking yourself, how would I like to be treated if I were that person, if I walked in their shoes, if I had their experiences, if I lived their life? You can develop that. But what I'm saying is that oftentimes we don't put ourselves through that grinding of developing empathy. We have to go through something. And look, I would say, and don't take this the wrong way, and I don't mean this in any sort of prideful way, but I would say that my wife and I are probably very in tune with our emotions and on our high on this idea of empathy. But I'm not saying that that's because we're smart or whatever. We've experienced trauma too. It's called the ministry. And I have like PTSD from you people. I'm like, sometimes the ministry is like you're in an abusive relationship. and, you know, the congregation. I'm just saying when you walk through dark valleys with people, when you go through the lowest times and lives of individuals, it'll expand your capacity for empathy. But you don't have to wait for that. You definitely don't have to hope for that. You can develop empathy just all on your own. Just decide. I don't want to feel for people. I want to feel with people. I'm really mad at this individual. OK, but try to feel with them. See how that makes you feel. I'm really disappointed by this individual. Maybe you're right in your disappointment. Maybe they failed you in whatever area. But why don't you try feeling not just for them or towards them, but feel with them? It may not change anything as far as who's right and who's wrong and what needs to be done. but it will change your perspective towards them. It'll bring mercy and grace and patience and love and compassion. Go to Ezekiel chapter three in the Old Testament if you would. This is the last passage we'll look at this morning. There are these major prophets towards the end of the Old Testament, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel. Ezekiel chapter number three, while you go there, let me just read to you from 1 Thessalonians 5, 11. The Bible says, wherefore, comfort yourselves together and edify one another, even as also ye do. Wherefore, comfort yourselves together. I'll just say this. In ministry, we have to do a lot of, let's see it from their perspective. Doesn't mean they're right, but let's feel what they're feeling. Let's feel with them. Let's experience what they're experiencing. And I would submit to you that this will make you a much better, a more mature, a more spiritual individual. And even when we're not talking about trauma and things like that, it's interesting to me, you know, as a pastor, I have to make decisions for the church and I make decisions, I have to, as the pastor, I have to make decisions for the church based on the overall, what is the best thing for the church as a whole. And oftentimes when people argue with me in ministry and decisions I make or whatever, it's because they're only seeing things through their little slice their slice of the ministry, or their slice of the situation, or their slice of this. And I often think to myself, you know, I wish you could see things from my perspective. Because I'm not concerned with just this one little slice of the church ministry. I have to concern myself with the whole. And if you could just learn to see things not just from the other person's perspective, but with the other person's perspective, It might not change your mind, but you might find that you accept it a little better. You understand it a little better. You might still say, well, I don't know that I would make that decision, and I don't know that I would do that. But you might find that you extend a little more grace, a little more patience, a little more love. Ezekiel chapter 3 and verse 11, I'd like you to see these words. We'll finish up here. Ezekiel chapter 3 and verse 11, the Bible says this. And go. And go. I'm not preaching on the subject of soul winning, but I do want to say this. I can't see that word go without thinking of soul winning. You know the Bible says, the main verses on soul winning use this word go. Go ye therefore into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. Go. Our job is to go. Let me just say this. If you say, I have no burden to see anyone saved. That is a very big red flag that you lack empathy. And it's going to make your life rough. Why not get heartbroken with them? Why not get heartbroken with them and think, if I was lost and on my way to hell, and there was a church down the street from me filled with people who knew how to get me saved, I wish someone would come. Ezekiel 3, 11, and go, get thee to them of the captivity. unto the children of thy people." Ezekiel's being told, you need to go. The children of Israel have been brought into captivity. And he says, you need to go get thee to them. Ezekiel actually had not experienced some of this. And he's being told, go get thee to them of the captivity unto the children of thy people and speak unto them and tell them, thus saith the Lord God, whether they will hear or whether they will forbear. I won't read all these verses. Look at verse 14. So the spirit lifted me up and took me away and I went in bitterness. In the heat of my spirit, by the hand of the Lord, but the hand of the Lord was strong upon me. Look at verse 15. Then I came to them of the captivity of Tel Aviv, that dwelt by the river of Kibar. Look at these words, I love these words. And I sat where they sat. And I sat where they sat. And remained there astonished among them seven days. You know what empathy is? It is the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing from within the other person's frame of reference. It is the ability to place oneself in another's shoes. When it is said of Jesus, it is said this way, that we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. And when it's said of the prophet Ezekiel here, it's said simply this way, and I sat where they sat. Why don't you sit where somebody else is sitting for a while? Feel with them from their perspective, from their point of view, from their experience. Because empathy is not feeling for others. That's just sympathy. And empathy is not feeling at all. That's actually apathy. But empathy is feeling with others. And I sat where they sat. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, Lord, we do love you. Lord, I do not think that it can be overemphasized, the importance of empathy. It's needed. It's needed in ministry. It's needed in decision making. It's needed in every area of life. Lord, I pray you'd help us. Help us to develop it. Help us to think through it. Help us not to be so selfish that we can't feel with others. And Lord, for those that have gone through tragedy, gone through trauma, gone through difficult things in their lives, we feel with them. We feel for them. But help them not to waste. those opportunities to comfort others who are also going through those difficulties. I pray, Lord, you'd help us to become people that are emotionally intelligent. In the matchless name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen. All right, well, we're going to go ahead and sing a final song before we're dismissed this morning. I just want to remind you of a couple of things. First of all, I want to remind you to come back tonight, 6 p.m., for the evening service. And it's a different sermon, different song.