Heavenly Father, thank You so much for Your love and Your graciousness to us. We thank You that we have Your Word to guide us into all wisdom and knowledge of You, how You see things and how You desire us to not only see things clearly, but to see You in them, how You design them, how You create them, that we would be blessed in that, that we would be obedient, and that we would love and glorify You in all that we do. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen. Alright. Okay, guys, we're talking about that today. If you look at your bulletins, we are beginning a little mini-series on sex and romance within the blessed confines of the marital union. So for you singles here today, just listen and learn. These things that we're talking about primarily are applied within The marriage union, however, they are definitely useful in providing for you biblical wisdom as you prepare yourselves for marriage. So, again, I invite you to listen along. The Bible has much to say about this, and of course, if the Bible speaks to it, that means God intends for us to know it, to grow by it, and to draw close to Him through it. And so, sex and intimacy is absolutely no exception. The title of today's sermon is called, Reforming Marriage, 5G Sex. Of course, it's a play on the, if you have Verizon or whatever, you know, the 5G thing, you get it, yeah. But it's meant to communicate that sex, romance, and intimacy are very misunderstood and very perverted, and we are in desperate need of a clear signal regarding the truths related to it. It is common for me to say that the more precious, the more sacred, I would say the more outstanding that the Bible presents any given subject, the more that Satan will try to malign it. And if you have read the book, It's Good to Be a Man, it's a book that's been floating around in our midst. If you get a chance to read that, please do, men. And read it out loud to your wife. I trust it will be a fruitful time. But in the book, the author writes this, sex is the engine of God's dominion, the means by which He designed man to establish heaven on earth. Okay? Pause quote. So what does that tell you immediately is that sex is a big deal. There is no dominion on earth without it. There is no heavenly dominion on earth without it. And so the author concludes, and that is why Satan hates it. That is why he hates it. And make no mistake, whatever God loves, Satan is not indifferent to it. I think he desires us to be indifferent to it. But whatever God loves is that which the devil hates with a passion. And so he desires for us to either be indifferent or hate it with the same passion that he does. because sex is something that is so maligned in unbelief and is actually, their world view of it, I think, has pretty significantly infiltrated the church's view of it. We definitely have to be on guard, but most importantly, we have to consult the Word of the Living God for wisdom, truth, and clarity on this issue. And there's a lot of good marriage books I could commend to you. You know, we've talked about Reforming Marriage by Doug Wilson, very helpful on this subject. Among other works, It's Good to Be a Man, Biblical Masculinity. All those things, all those are really good books. One that's sort of a blast from the past, if you guys have never picked it up, and I do realize this guy, several years ago, pretty much disgraced himself from the pulpit. It's Mars Hill founder Mark Driscoll wrote a book called Real Marriage, which is I think very helpful in categorizing some of the challenges we face in marriage. And one thing that I really appreciated about this book is that where many pastors and theologians tend to shy away from certain subjects regarding intimacy and marriage, Mark Driscoll actually is pretty thorough in addressing those issues. And I think as believers in Jesus Christ, we should not shy away from those things. If the Bible addresses them, we need to address them too. We need to address them honestly and thoroughly. So I would commend that book, Real Marriage, to you, at least to take a peek. I think it's really helpful on some of these things. I borrowed a little bit from his outline and added a couple of my own as this sermon progresses, and to underscore the variety of errant views regarding sex and intimacy, and really to show how far humanity and even the church, to some extent, has wandered away from a biblical view of it. You know, we hear a lot today, again, from the unbelieving worldview on sex, that we need to embrace protective sex when really the issue is about protecting sex. It's protecting God's view of it. It's keeping ourselves pure from all of the various deviations that come our way. I want to protect our marriages from every sexual perversion, whether that be fornication, homosexuality, bestiality, transgenderism, pornography, and even the latest, a very modern expression of it, what we call hookup culture. It is kind of sickening to have to research these things because you become aware of things that you didn't really know were going on to the degree that they are. But that's what's out there, and we have to be aware of it. But back to this issue of sex being the engine of dominion, I think this is very important to keep in mind. The first command that God gives Adam and Eve is found in Genesis 2.28. It says this, God blessed them and God said to them. Now note the blessing beforehand. That's very important. He blessed the man and his wife. He blessed this work of dominion that he charged them with. But they do together as one flesh. He says this, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on earth. That's the first thing he tells them to do. Be fruitful and multiply. Expand the human race. Have babies. And rule over everything that moves on the earth. That is the beginning of our biblical view of sex and intimacy. That it begins with God. And we keep coming back to that theme. So keep that in mind. Especially within the marital union. That this all begins with God. It is all an expression of His creative design. It's all an expression of His goodness. And His intentions for humanity to live under His rule and to be blessed and joyful. And I think Deviating from his design in sex is one of the most efficient and destructive ways to deviate from that design. And so I want to present five things today, five views that we have. that I think humanity shares in common regarding its view of sex and intimacy. Three of these represent deviations, and the final two represent the biblical worldview. Now, most of this, keep in mind, is going to be mostly introduction. This is going to be the platform, and then we're going to get into some of the finer points, and we're happy to address these topics at a later time, whether at our house or even in here after church. Again, we don't want to be squeamish, we don't want to be too nervous about attacking an issue like this, but let's get the biblical view of it, because it's meant to be enjoyed. So the first one, I think this is the most overwhelming one, is this, is that sex is God. Is that sex has been made an idol today. I think most of us would agree with that. And as is common, idols aren't typically fashioned out of thin air. Idols represent perversions of good things. That is what an idol is. An idol is anything that you allow to compete with God for supremacy in your life. Idolatry is simply a perverse affection showed toward anything that God has made and that God has given you. It's usually a good thing that you have. And your view of it becomes twisted to where you treasure it above the Lord. So anything you treasure as much or more than God, anything you ultimately rely on instead of the Lord, is an expression of idolatry. And of course, one of the greatest challenges that Christians face today, especially in our freedom-loving American culture, is that of sexual purity. And if you were a young man or woman, especially in the late 90s and early 2000s, and were a Christian, you no doubt were exposed to the purity movement. Purity became a big thing, and I would even suggest that in the sense purity itself became an idol. Purity became the most important thing, more than anything, was guarding your purity. And whether it backfired or not is difficult to say, but we find ourselves struggling with this more than ever. It seems like the purity movement didn't really have a really great effect. And so here we are faced with these challenges. There's nothing new under the sun. Christians have always been challenged by this temptation of sexual impurity, of sexual immorality. Christians in the first century were no strangers to this. Greco-Roman worship was characterized by sexual deviation, especially prostitution. Temple prostitution was a huge market. And one of the ways you connected with God, with one of the gods of the Pantheon in that society, was to become one with a temple prostitute. If you've read the book of Corinthians, both of them, a very profound insight into what the Corinthian church was facing. We often call Corinth the Las Vegas of the first century. Because there was so much sin, it really was a sin city, and characteristic of this city was temple idolatry, temple prostitution. Corinth was known for having a temple to Venus or Aphrodite, depending on who you ask, where this was commonplace. And there was a very important truth that prevailed upon Christians in this time, and it was this teaching that now that we are in Christ, we were to present our bodies as living sacrifices, Paul tells the Romans in Romans chapter 12. to present our members not for the purpose of unrighteousness, but for the purpose of righteousness. So this teaching ran completely counter to this idolatrous, sexually deviant system of worship in the Roman Empire. I mean, you stood out. You risked severe marginalization in your own city if you refused to take part in what was considered completely normal. And now you have apostles coming and preaching, yep, each man is to have his own wife. Each woman is to have her own husband. Monogamy? A faithful, lifelong marriage with one person? I mean, that was pretty scandalous. A few thousand years ago, it's just as scandalous today. A monogamous relationship is laughed at outside the church and sometimes within the church. It's seen as ridiculous, unthinkable. How can anyone be faithful to one other person as long as they both shall live? Some would even say that's against our evolution, especially against the evolution of males. It is natural for us to be promiscuous. It is natural for us to be with as many females as possible, but the Bible says otherwise. No, we are created in the image of God, in His likeness, from the beginning, to be one flesh with one woman for the rest of our lives, and to uphold that relationship with faithfulness and with loving, sacrificial leadership. I mean, you think that the Roman Empire faltered in this, consider even before that, the worship prevalent in the ancient Near East, the worship of Molech and Chimash, where child sacrifice was accepted behavior, maybe even expected. I think we see the same thing in parallel fashion today. in abortion, where the undesired result of sexual liberation is sacrificed at the altar of bodily autonomy. That's exactly what's going on. Nothing new under the sun. Abortion is just Molech worship revisited, reimagined, repackaged, and even to an extent, glamorized. It is tragic. And that's not all there is. We have plenty of Moral challenges that began with profound clarity in the 1900s. You have the sexual revolution combined with the hippie movement in the 1960s. This philosophy of free love. It really doesn't matter being faithful to one person in a lifelong marital union. Get all the love you can while you can. Complete deviation from the truth of Scripture. And yet, that philosophy was latched onto. We have even today, especially among men, is this crippling idolatry known as pornography. I'm not a person who typically goes down the list with stats, but I think the statistics on use of pornography are rather alarming. I got this from the Covenant Eyes website, and it just lists some of the things that prolonged exposure to pornography leads to. Listen to these. Listen to these and be warned. Pornography leads to an exaggerated perception of sexual activity in society and diminished trust between intimate couples. It leads to the abandonment of the hope of sexual monogamy. So you see the correlation there. Viewing pornography basically leads one to think that we're really just sexual animals. And that marriage and faithfulness are unthinkable in regards to human sexuality. It's a lost cause, they would say. Belief that promiscuity is the natural state. That's why now it's seen in many circles as judgmental and even unloving, or even at worst, unchristlike to criticize anyone who is unfaithful or who is engaging in fornication or homosexuality. Because this is just normal. They're just being who they are. They're just being true to themselves. So don't judge, don't evaluate, don't condemn. It's gotten to the point that even the belief that abstinence and sexual inactivity are unhealthy. See, even abstinence isn't even taught as an option anymore. Cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners. Belief that marriage is sexually confining. Right? This is a prison. You're smothering me. Lack of attraction to family and child raising. See, when sex becomes God, when it becomes the idol, right? We talked about this in our expose of feminism several weeks ago. How feminism and its teachings led women especially to detach sexual activity from the joy of childbearing and childrearing. From the joy of family. And so that is what pornography does. Causes a lack of attraction to family and child raising. Sex becomes the main thing. Simply the pleasure and nothing else. Here's another one from sociologist Jill Manning. Increased marital distress and risk of separation and divorce. Yeah, you think? You keep doing that, your marriage is going to be negatively affected. decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction. Why? It has come to light in a very profound and tragic way that increase in regular use of pornography causes erectile dysfunction in men. Because they are trying to gain satisfaction through an illusion, so they become accustomed to the illusion, and so they are unable to get into the real thing. Because they take the illusion now as reality. And so, marital sex at best becomes not the real thing, according to God's Word. It just becomes an expression, or perhaps a boring or vanilla expression, of many other expressions of sexuality and intimacy. infidelity, increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography and sexual activity associated with abusive, illegal, or unsafe practices, devaluation of monogamy, marriage, and child rearing, an increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behavior. I remember when I was attending Grace Community Church several years ago, this is before we moved out to Colorado, just me and Katie, no family yet, And I was a part of a ministry helping people basically deal with and overcome life-dominating sins. And one young man approached me after church. I think he was 18 or 19 years old. And he basically was asking about this class that I taught on Monday night. And he said that he had just an overwhelming, unshakable addiction to pornography. And he said it's so bad that he basically engages in it whenever he can. All the time. Completely admitted that he was totally enslaved to it. And so I asked him a couple of follow-up questions, and it was interesting how neck-deep he was in this. I said, well, do you have any accountability? Do you have any accountability software? Well, one, pornography and its use caused him to completely isolate himself. He had no solid relationships. And secondly, he said, well, yeah, I have accountability software, but I just disable it, and then I watch pornography, and then I turn the software back on. It's one of the worst cases I've ever seen. But to see this hopelessness that he had. This self-enslavement that he couldn't escape from it. It was so bad, the thought of just clinging to Christ and embracing the hope of the gospel was just so far out. It was unthinkable at the moment. And then, connected with all of this is what we call hook-up culture. Used to be known as sort of a man thing. If you were able to become sexually involved with as many women as possible, you were known as a stud or something. And if you were a woman and you did that, then you were... And now, due to today's feminism and its pursuit of equality, it says, well, if a man can go from girl to girl, then why shouldn't I be able to do the same thing? And so now you have women who today are foregoing marriage and children and are engaging in this hookup culture with almost the same intent and passion as men are. And then you have what's known within hookup culture as the Chad culture. Yes, this is actually a thing. A Chad. A Chad is a man known as a high-value male who is unusually successful at attracting women. And in order to protect his interests and his investments and his wealth, everything that he has built up, rather than share it in the blessed confines of marriage, He chooses not to get married because one, his stability is threatened in case he marries and his wife wants a divorce. So that's how he thinks of marriage. A threat to your security. A threat to your wealth. And added to that, he forgoes marriage because Female companionship comes easily, especially with women now taking part of the hookup culture. So there's no incentive for him to get married. He can enjoy his wealth, and he can enjoy pleasure with numerous women. So commitment is a non-issue. And then of course we have the perversion of sex via homosexuality and transgenderism. We read about that. in Romans 1 this morning during our scripture reading, that men are burning with passion toward one another, that God is giving them over to degrading passions. And transgenderism, I think, compounds this because even though sex has become an idol, when people make an idol for themselves, what is really the goal? The goal is to fashion an idol in your own image. Because if you fashion an idol in your own image, what happens is that you have just made a God that you can control. That's what man wants to do. He wants to control his own destiny. And so if there is any place for God in his life, it is a God made in his own image, a God that basically affirms everything that he wants to do. Even though his desires may evolve over time. And so it's a God that He can control. And so transgenderism says that I can choose my gender. I can identify as a man or a woman, or in the worst case, a two-spirited penguin. And my God says that it's okay. And we'll talk about this subject later, but because now sex has been turned to an idol, it is often weaponized in marriage. It is withheld unless one spouse does what the other wants. And what a perverted application or non-application of it. But that is how far we've wandered. That is a sampling of the deviation from creational sex the way that God has designed it. And that's just one errant view, is that sex is God. And I would say, These are all connected. But here's the other one. And I would say this would represent an over-correction to sex being God. And that is, sex is gross. That's the second G. Sex is gross. Because of unbelieving humanity's expression of it, we have to be now ashamed of it. There's something wrong with it. And of course, Scripture corrects us immediately in the pages of Genesis. It says that the man and the woman, they were naked. And they were not ashamed. And that's a nod to the title. 5GS asterisk X. We dare not speak of it. We dare not mention it. That thing that must not be named. That thing that must not be talked about. And sometimes we get very prudish and say, well, because it's so personal, because it's so private, You know, we're not going to talk about it. I mean, people do the same thing. That's between me and the Lord. So I'm not going to talk about that. I mean, come on, get off your high horse. Let's talk about this. Let's view it from a Christian worldview. We shouldn't censor it. We shouldn't shy away from it. I think sometimes we even use this to to build a particular errant view of God as if God is up in heaven and says concerning sex, oh, no, what have I done? This was a big mistake. I mean, people might act improper. It's as if even talking about it is seen as something that will defile you or that it is sin. But no, sex is a creation from God and it's a good thing. So let's treat it like it's a good thing rather than treating it like it's an evil thing or treating it in a perverse way. So we're grossed out by it because we're grossed out by sin. So it follows, if we see something abused, even if it's a good thing, we tend to blame the thing itself rather than the abuse of it or those who abuse it. Right? Obesity exists. Therefore, I demand that you ban all spoons, knives, forks, and sporks, and straws. Even the metal straws they're making that save the planet. It's all bad. Fornication, homosexuality, pornography exists. Therefore, sex of all kinds is gross. So sex remains another blessing in life that has been twisted by unbelief, and I would say today, must be reclaimed in the name of Jesus Christ, because it is a holy and sacred thing. And we say again, it's not uncommon, and we do it all the time, it's not uncommon for Christians to overcorrect on things. You swerve to miss the deer and plow into the tree on the side of the road. We do it all the time, but we definitely don't want to do it with sex and intimacy. Especially because, for one, it doesn't just involve you, it involves two of you. Both of you stand to benefit from its blessings. So if one of you holds it at bay because it's gross, then chances are you're going to teach the other person to do the same. And so we are often accused of having developed a very prudish view of sexual relationships. You know, oh, you're so Victorian, right? Maybe you've heard of Victorian or Puritanical in your view of sex. And this, of course, is ironic in both ways. If people who made these comments actually bothered to do their research on Victorian culture and the Victorian era, no matter how done up it seems, you would find that the Victorian era is hardly Victorian. Victorian England was rife with prostitution, infidelity, and children born out of wedlock. That is Victorian England. How about the early church fathers? Great sampling of this. Early church fathers. Clement of Alexandria. Intercourse performed licitly as an occasion of sin and less purely to beget children. Origen, the early church father popular for his allegorical method of interpretation, perceived sexual pleasure as a personal threat and therefore castrated himself. Right? If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. So the man responsible for allegorical interpretation fell victim to literal interpretation. Chrysostom said that Adam and Eve only had sexual relations after the fall. Okay. Augustine. Sex is not sinful, but the passions associated with it are. I will have you know that we practice Augustinian Christianity. Okay? Let's get a little Catholic here. Pope Gregory. Conjugal union cannot take place without carnal pleasure, and such pleasure under any circumstance cannot be without blame. There's the overcorrection. It's not wrong, but any association with good feels is bad. It's like the one Muslim that quipped, Allah does not forbid you to listen to rock and roll. He only forbids you to enjoy rock and roll. It's the same kind of thinking here. So there's a lot of examples. I remember reading a more modern one in a recent article. I couldn't track it down to give it a specific quotation, but the gist of it was this. It was this older woman teaching younger women. I believe she was a Christian lady discipling other women. That was the context. And she described sex as grotesque and only to be done in rare and extreme circumstances, and yet that these women should do all they could to avoid it. Because it was gross. There was nothing about it to be enjoyed. Nothing. Basically, sex was unladylike. Even for the sake of children, it was questionable at best. Wow. So let's return to the irony. The Puritans. So you may have been... I've been accused of having a Puritanical view of sex. My only response is, thank you, because what did the Puritans have to say about it? The Puritans really helped resurrect a biblical view of intimacy within marriage. If you've ever read the book, Worldly Saints, it gives a great picture of Puritan life, including their views on marital intimacy. They describe the marital bed as due benevolence and conjugal fellowship. Another Puritan describes it as mutual dalliances for pleasure's sake. So in these terms, There is an acknowledgement both of the goodness, obligation, and mutual enjoyment of sex. So I don't know what it is with these pseudo-historians, but the Puritans definitely did not shy away from marital intimacy. They saw it as a good thing. And so should you. Here's the third one. So that's sex is gross. So according to Scripture, sex is not gross. It is good. Here's the third category, and I think this one may be pretty helpful. Sex is gnostic, a gnostic view of sex. And this kind of is connected with the view that sex is gross, but maybe not in the sense of how we classically think of gnosticism, where matter is bad and only the spiritual realm is good. But it sort of describes this, and it's more of the mindset which says sex isn't really important. It's kind of an afterthought. Now remember Genesis 128, first thing that God said to Adam and Eve. And so, and this is one of the reasons why I really wanted to talk about this. Because there's a lot of great books on Christian marriage out there. You look through the chapters, you have stuff on roles, communication, conflict resolution, masculinity, femininity, and even glorious subjects like accountability and biblical finances. I mean, ooh, riveting, right? Oh, and then finally at the end, I turn in a book today just to check my work. You got Communications, Finances, Conflict Resolution, and Chapter 18, the dreaded gross chapter on sex. Way, way in the back. And I have a lot of Christian books on marriage. And sad to say, but this This is what characterizes a lot of it, as if intimacy within marriages is sort of an afterthought. I don't want to assume intent here, but it's always in the back. Like, let's get to the important stuff like communication and understanding our roles. Or conflict resolution. Let's talk about money before we talk about being one flesh. So they see it as something that, you know, just so we've covered it, You know, maybe it's saving the best for last, but they don't treat it with a lot of care or a lot of depth. And I would say in the worst case, we have a Christian view of this says that it's more of like a, it's more optional, right? That sex and intimacy are optional in marriage. It's more of like, it's characterized as the cherry on top of the sundae rather than the hot fudge within it. Take it or leave it, it's really not a big deal. And I'm saying to you, pastorally, it is a very big deal. It's a very big deal. You don't have a marriage without it. And we reason, oh, that's just because we're Christian, right? We're spiritual. This physical stuff doesn't really matter. We need to hit the most important spiritual things first. So we put it on the back burner of our lives and pursue things supposedly of a nobler and more holy and pure and higher nature, right? It's that two-story thinking. Down here is that which is base and physical. That's where sex and intimacy belong. And up here is the real higher story spiritual stuff. like finances and conflicts resolution. And that's the reasoning. We need to concentrate more on the spiritual. I mean, you know who talks that way? Yoda from Empire Strikes Back. I quote, luminous beings we are, not this crude matter. I mean, what in the world? You're going to believe that garbage? It all matters. God created matter. God likes matter. God created sex. God likes it. And He designed it to be a blessing in our marriage. And a story. So that's why we need to return to what the Bible says. Once again, Adam and Eve. Genesis 128. Be fruitful and multiply. Remember, there is no subduction without reproduction. Subdue the earth means being fruitful and multiplying. Now, think of the bigness of the dominion task. And God's instructions to Adam and Eve, the first human beings. And we take this beautiful narrative and we place it in chapter 18 of marriage books. Let me ask you a question. The day you got married. Happiest day of your life. Did you spend your wedding night balancing your checkbook? And talking about finances? Setting a budget for your first year of marriage to make sure you didn't go into credit card debt? I take that as a no. Did you feel enraptured with each other's love and affection when you go through that series on conflict resolution? Wives, when your man listened to that profound seminar on servant leadership, did you think the following? May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine. Your oils have a pleasing fragrance. Your name is like purified oil. Therefore, the maidens love you. Draw me after you and let us run together. The king has brought me into his chambers. Man, nothing says sexy like a seminar on servant leadership, let me tell you. But this is what we've done to it. When the joys and delights of it are staring at us in the face from Scripture. I also would like to make another observation. That many of you in here, most of you in here are accompanied by little human beings. You have the blessing of children. Did that happen as a result of reciprocal listening? Of conflict resolution? No! It happened as a result of you coming together and enjoying conjugal fellowship. Due benevolence. And you were blessed with a baby. It is amazing that that which is most pleasurable physically results in life. Don't miss the divine blessing that that is. Which leads me to four. You may not believe this, but sex is good. Sex is good. That's the fourth G. We know it's good because we read back in the pages of scripture, as God says, it is good that man is not alone, right? It's not good for man to be alone. I will make a help meet for him. A counterpart, a partner, even in this counterpartedness, the woman is sexually complimentary to the man. It's one of the things that is so obvious in creation that we wonder why we should even take the time dignifying a person who says otherwise. It's so obvious. So we find that based on the created order, it is also good, that is good, in line with God's own character, in line with God's own faithfulness, with His created order, that sex is between a man and a woman and only a man and a woman. It is also good that sex belongs only within the confines of the marriage covenant. That means it is not good when it is practiced in any form outside of the marriage covenant. Whether homosexuality, whether fornication, or adultery, or any other perversion. That is a perversion of it. Once again, it does not make sex bad or gross. The act is wicked. But sex is good. when it is practiced between a man and a woman within the blessed confines of marriage. It is also good, don't miss this, it is good that sex is to be without shame. Where is sex done without shame? Between a man and his wife. Between a man and his wife. The man and his wife were naked and they were not ashamed. And no matter what sin has been committed against you, or no matter what sin you have committed sexually, this is where the Gospel comes into play. It is the power of the Gospel to purify you from sexual sin. And if you have been victimized as a result of sexual abuse, the hope of the Gospel is found in there as well. It purifies you from the wrong that was done to you. Sex is good. So if you're in here and you're married, want to do a little exercise, I want you to look at your wife, men. Men, look at your wife. Look at your wife. Women, look at your husband. I'm going to tell you something. That's as good as it gets. That is as good as it gets. Don't wish. Don't regret. Don't fantasize. Don't wander. Rather, invest in one another. Cling to one another. And be satisfied with one another. I have spoken. Fifthly and finally, if sex is good, then it is also a gift. God blessed them and said, be fruitful and multiply. This command is also a gift and a blessing. So it is a gift. For how so? I've got a little list here. You guys should write this down. I'm not exhaustive, but I drew this from a couple books that I've been looking at, especially Scripture. But first and foremost, let's not be shy here. Sex is for pleasure. If you don't believe me, read Song of Solomon. And no, Song of Solomon is not an allegory. It's about a love between a man and his bride with all the passion, ecstasy, and I would say creativity that goes into marital intimacy. As Proverbs 5, 15, 19 can affirm clearly, drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets, let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. You see that? In the wife of your youth. Find her as an occasion for rejoicing. How, you ask? As a loving hind in a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love. Really? Satisfaction? Exhilaration? Say it ain't so. This is what the Scripture says. And the instruction to women. Song of Solomon 2.3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. Sex is good and a gift for the purpose of pleasure. Also we've said for children. It's useful for procreation. It's found written into creation itself. It is for children and that connection between sexual pleasure and The bearing of offspring should be seen as a good thing, something that married couples anticipate, not something to try to avoid for years and years while you try to have fun together and go traveling abroad. My two cents. How about for closeness? Yes, closeness, both physically and emotionally. Emotion is a good thing. Emotional closeness is a good thing to have between you and your spouse. You literally, after all, become one flesh in that act. So this reaffirms the truth of your one fleshness. And what a joy to be able to reaffirm your one fleshness before God again and again and again. It galvanizes that oneness you have toward one another, draws you closer to one another, and you associate with your spouse pleasure and goodness. That is a good thing, and that is a blessing. How about for knowledge? Sometimes we forget knowledge. There is a unique knowledge that you have of your spouse. In Genesis, it says this, Adam knew his wife. You've heard the Yiddish phrase, yada, yada, yada. It means, you know, you know, you know. This is actually the Hebrew word used for sexual intercourse. It means to know someone. Adam knew his wife. So in relationships, you have these, what we could call concentric circles of closeness. On the outside, you kind of have acquaintances, people, you know, maybe co-workers, not people you do life with, but you know them casually. Then you have casual friends, one more circle inside. Casual friends, people you would consider with relative closeness, right? You may meet with them, you have coffee with them, you have conversations with them, they know what's going on in your life. Then you have close friends. This is where the numbers start to shrink drastically. You may have several close friends or just a few close friends. They really know your struggles. They know what's going on in your life. You regularly keep up with them. You regularly get together with them. And then even closer than that is what we would call intimate friends. Now typically, This is limited to one or two people. These are people who know you very, very well. This may be a discipleship relationship or just someone characterized as a bro. You just know what's going on. And you're close to that person. But then this closest relationship of all is the relationship between a husband and his wife. That intimacy. is at its most profound and at its greatest depth. You know one another in a way that no one else does and that no one else should. And that knowledge is upheld through sex. And that is to be protected. That is to be cherished. It is a unique and beautiful expression of love and trust that demonstrates that you have a knowledge A special knowledge of one another that no one else does. That is a good thing and deserves to be guarded with violent action if necessary. So that's knowledge. Here's another one covered in Doug Wilson's Reforming Marriage. It protects us against sin. If you want to turn there or just write this reference down, 1 Corinthians 7, 1-3, Paul writes this, now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, but because of immoralities, now take into account context, Corinth, a city full of all kinds of sexual deviation. Because of this, each man is to have his own wife, that is one, and each woman is to have her own husband, that is one. Also, the husband must fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband. So once again, note the obligation. We're actually going to expand on this scripture in a later sermon. But note the obligation and trust and fidelity that the man and his wife have toward one another. And in this, today, we still apply it. And in so doing, we guard one another from lust, pornography, adultery, any kind of deviation sexually outside of the marriage covenant. Here's another one. For comfort. And Driscoll's book spells this out. I like this one. There are seasons in life when nothing can be said or done to comfort a suffering spouse. In those moments, it is the ministry of touch that allows us to comfort our spouses in a way that lovingly serves them and binds us together in suffering. So often suffering or life's various afflictions leads us to isolate. Sometimes that's what happens. We're going through a tough time. Could be for a variety of reasons. And our inclination is to sort of separate, right? I just want to be alone. I don't want to be around anyone right now. And of course, doing that in a prolonged fashion can lead to temptation. Isolation can be a very dangerous thing for the Christian. And sexual intimacy is a wonderful way that we're graciously reminded that we do not face the trials of life alone. It's once again a reminder from the heart of God that it is not good for a man to be alone. It's a reminder that we have one another. And those are the two things we must grasp. That it is a good thing, and that it is a gift from God. And what do we do with gifts from God? We cherish them. We treasure them. We guard them. And we use them according to their intended purpose. And not sin against God by perverting its use. And so it follows, That if Christians truly grasped what God's Word said about intimacy, they would be more diligent in its pursuit, more enjoyable in its practice, and much more regular in its occurrence. It's a gift from God, so don't squander or malign the gift, or be selfish or lazy in its use. Glorify God in it, and as man and wife, be a blessing to one another as you minister to one another in this regard. And so I think just the closing challenge simply is to talk to your spouse about these things. Especially intimacy. Yes, and it can be, ironically, a very touchy subject. It can be an embarrassing subject. It can be something that it is avoided. But I would urge you guys to, again, be open, be honest with one another if there are concerns, especially if there's idolatry, selfishness, laziness, or simply upholding an unbiblical view about it, then those things need to be talked about thoroughly, openly, and honestly. And I trust that God will bless that endeavor. And so, we will close with that. But again, guys, please, Be willing to change your mind on some of the things you've heard about, about sex and intimacy, and really start seeing it as a good thing. A good and necessary thing and a blessing in your marriage. More next time. Let's pray. Father, thank You again for Your love and Your faithfulness to us. We remember Christ our Lord and His sacrificial love toward His bride. laid His life down, shed His blood for us, so that we could be presented as a holy bride, spotless, blameless, without blemish. Lord, that You have united Yourself to us. You have made Your church one with You. And I pray, Lord, with the same regard, the same urgency and desire that we would Honor the oneness that we have with our spouses. That we would live a marriage that is blessed, that is faithful, that sees the intimacy that You have designed us for as a good thing and as necessary and ultimately as a gift from You. One that You desire for us to enjoy together and so build that bond that we have with one another. Lord, we thank You that the Gospel redeems this that puts it in a holy light, frees us to honor You in its practice, which is what we desire to do. So Lord, we can commit all of these things to You, especially our marriages. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.