I want you to know, this whole portion of Scripture, we're looking at the husband and the wife and how they should treat each other, but the actual subject is Christ in the church. He takes something that we should understand and should be clear and should be evident, and he uses it to explain this great mystery. Nevertheless, see that every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as a self, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. I'm always keenly observing myself when I do something new for the first time. I wonder how I'm going to respond and react I'm wondering what I'm going to be surprised by in the process. And I take it to the Lord for his help. It's interesting because in the past so many months, Abby was engaged and now married, and Zach is engaged. Not married. And When Abby was engaged, and I was like, oh, Jack, Abby's leaving us, and this is terrible. And she's saying, James, you're thinking about one day after the wedding, and I'm thinking about the day of the wedding. And I'm like, well, I think I'm living in reality. I don't know about you, woman. But then Zach was engaged, and she's like, oh, no, this is terrible. And I'm like, Jack, it's going to be OK. And I wanted to tell her. I'm thinking about the day of the wedding and you're thinking about one day after the wedding. I'll tell you the whole thing has made me go back and visit my own wedding and remember my vows and remember our first days together and all days after that. And it's endeared my wife to me. I often think about our wedding vows, and they don't trust men to walk down the aisle and do it right, I guess, until you're the father of the bride. I've always, in every wedding I've been in, they were like, you come out that side room and stand on this spot and don't move. They let the girls do all kinds of other stuff that they don't let the guys do, but it's OK. I stood there and I watched my wife come up the aisle. And before you know it, we're joined hands before the preacher. And I remember our wedding vows. There was one line that I never forget. I give thee all that I have. And you guys know what all means. I can even tell you what it means in the Greek. It means all. Everything. When I was married, I brought a little tiny suitcase. And I think that half of it was full of rice because somebody thought that'd be funny at the house. And I had a couple clothes in it. I didn't like put all, and Jackie looked at my clothes, and she said, we're getting you some new stuff. One of the first things we did was she got me some new clothes to wear. And ever since then, I've been wearing whatever she wants me to wear. And you know what happens if I have something and she doesn't really think it's great? I have to hide it if I want to keep it. It's funny, the third time I fished his shirt out of the trash. I don't know how it keeps getting in there. And then one day it was gone and I never saw it again. I have a pair of red football cleats. And every time she gets around him, she starts to get a little twitch toward the trash can. I'm like, stay away from those things. They're not hurting anybody, and they only take up this much space in the attic. And I might want to visit them someday like old friends. And remember when I could put them on and actually run a football. Go with me in your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5. I want you to know that my aunt Kathy's here this morning. Kathy is Rachel's mother. She's been with me a few times out here, and I'm happy to have her again. She's not my aunt, and her name's not really Kathy, but... I can't get a real name out of her, so that's what I go with. I asked her what I should preach on this morning, and she said sleep. So for two minutes, I'm going to say something about sleep. Ephesians chapter 5, look with me in verse 25, I believe. And it says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for we are members of his body, of his flesh. and of his bones. I'm sorry, I skipped the verse. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery. but I speak concerning Christ and the church. I want you to know, this whole portion of Scripture, we're looking at the husband and the wife and how they should treat each other, but the actual subject is Christ and the church. He takes something that we should understand and should be clear and should be evident and he uses it to explain this great mystery. Nevertheless, see that every one of you in particular so love his wife even as a self and the wife see that she reverence her husband. I want to look at using the marriage. to look at our relationship with Jesus Christ. It's a big deal to get married. And we make a big deal out of it. And I went to the car, I stood by Abby's window. I said, Abby, you have got to make this work. Now it sounds funny. but I meant that. Marriage is a lot of work. The two twain of yesterday are one. Two become one. God views us as a married couple as one flesh. Somebody said something about it not being a real church service. It is a very holy service. And it's a picture for the whole world of Jesus Christ and a believer. In every marriage has the opportunity to be a little picture of heaven on earth. Too many marriages end up being a little picture of hell on earth. God help us. I just want to take a couple points about the marriage. In Genesis 2, 24, I'll just read it. It's familiar. It's quoted in our scripture ahead. It says, Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. I noticed that God says the man leaves his mother and father, not that the woman leaves her mother and father. It's my intentions that Jackie and I will not be intrusive into this new marriage. There will be no such thing as Caleb and Abby having a little argument and Abby going, well, my dad's a preacher, we'll call him. They called me and I go, go back to your own house and work it out. Get with Jesus and work it out together, one with another. You're not going to call us the referee every time you've got something going on. We're not going to be involved in that way. We don't even want to be involved in that way. You leave, mom and dad. You leave. your current home. Now, this does not happen often today. I live with my mom and dad under their authority and under their protection until the day Jackie took over me. I went from one custody to the next custody. You know, oh, pastor, what are you talking about? I'm talking about I went from one accountability that was protection to me to another account. You mean you're accountable to your wife? You better believe I am. And if you don't think you are, you're in trouble because you're one flesh. I was driving along the week I got married and I was at a stop sign in Garretsville and I was thinking about how this marriage changes everything. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. And don't look at me surprised, but it hit me that my decision-making process would not just affect me anymore. It would affect us. And that everything I decided or thought about had to be thought out considering us. So you get a new home as a believer in Christ. A person goes from marching through life toward eternity on a broad road that leads to destruction to a place where they're on a straight and narrow road that leads to life. You get a new home as a believer in Jesus Christ. When you accept Christ as your Savior, He takes and there's no more condemnation. You pass from death unto life. Spiritually. So we have that new home that a new couple is planning. They go and they get an apartment, or they get a place, or they figure out where they're going to nest, and where they're going to have things, and they get a new place and a new home. The believer in Jesus Christ has a new home for eternity. What goodness God has. The next thing is a new identity. I haven't said this yet. I'm going to do it first for you. Abigail Elizabeth Miller. There, I said it. She has a new identity. If any man be in Christ, he's a new creature. Old things are passed away. All things become new. We get a new identity in Christ. And we get a new name, just like Abby has a new name. Abby Miller. I heard some of my kids teasing her, there's another Abby Miller, it's famous, it's infamous. And they kind of teased her a little bit about that. But she's joined to the Miller family. Now, her life and her behavior and her actions will start to form a reputation for her in Pendleton. And it'll either be a, oh, did you hear about that Abby Miller? If you ever get to see her, go see her. And she's so nice. Or it'll be, you hear about that Abby Miller? Oh, yeah, we heard about her. Keep the kids and dogs away from her. You know how she is. She stomped a neighbor's puppy yesterday. I can't believe it. I'd say, Brother Miller back there. Oh, man, we're so thankful that Abby joined our family. And it'll be like, Luke, eating that casserole his aunt made, and be like, we're so glad she's part of our family. We just call her devil woman for fun. We have a new identity. I was with a couple Amish boys. I said, boys, Before a man is married, I really like these boys, because when I was 34, they thought I was 20. I said, boys, before a man is married, he's incomplete. And after he's married, he's completely finished. Of course, we were just having a little fun. God created us to need to pair in marriage. He created that vacuum and that need in our lives. I was looking at my wife yesterday. I was thinking how beautiful she looked. I looked at myself and, you know, It's not so much, but I did everything I possibly could. I promise you. I got on some nice new clothes. I wore a tie for the first time. My mom gave me a tie tack that was my dad's. I went to my home and I took a long, long shower, and then I put on some sweet smelling things, and then I stood in front of the mirror and I shaved, and then I shaved again, and then I shaved again, and then I looked at my eyebrows, which is something I never do, and I picked one stubborn hair out of my eyebrow, and then I picked some hair out of my nose, The pastor, no more, please. No, no, no, he goes one further. I looked and there was a hair growing out of my ear. I'm like, what? When did that happen? And I picked it out. And I was thinking Jackie would be so proud of me as long as I don't tell everybody. If I get like a, I try to, I try to. Honey, your last name's Beatty now. I watched this happen several times. My wife would go to my brother Paul's wife, Twyla, and say, Twyla, you're my favorite baby. And Twyla would say to Jackie, you're my favorite baby. Of course, both of them were married into the family. Isn't that interesting? We have a new identity, and our identity as believers is in Jesus Christ. I'm sure there's going to be times when the Millers look at the Beatys and go, oh, I can't believe we married into this family. And there's going to be times when the Beatys look at the Millers and go, oh boy, it's just Caleb's family. Oh, well. What does God think about us? We have that new identity, and we name the name Christian. Hey, I'm a Christian! And then, what do we do next? And what actions do we lay down that build a reputation? And we either have a reputation that is a witness for Jesus Christ, or we have a reputation that is a witness against Jesus Christ. in 2 Timothy 2.19, it says, Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, the Lord knoweth them that are his, and let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity. but in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth, some to honor and some to dishonor. If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honor, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work. When we identify with the name of Jesus Christ as a believer, our behavior. It either qualifies us for greater service or it disqualifies us. You know, I have a story, the red enamel cast iron bean pot and the one aunt, she always made baked beans and that pot went right in the oven beautifully. Everybody loved her baked beans. It was this old antique pot. And a historian in the family wanted to find out the history of that pot. Went back to find out. My mom gave me a hot chocolate pitcher last year. And I got online and I was able to find out who made it, where they made it, everything about it. They got that pot, they plugged it in. However, they did their study and they got the right books. And they came back the next family reunion, and there's the beans in the pot. And they told the family, that red cast iron enamel pot used to be chamber pot. What's a chamber pot? Well, way back yonder when they only had outhouses, they put a pot like that under the bed and if somebody needed to go in the middle of the night, they'd go in the pot and somebody would empty it in the morning. Everyone loved them baked beans. But that pot never showed up again with baked beans in it. There are things that we can do in our life. that disqualify us from serving God in certain ways. If you name the name of Christ, depart from iniquity. Now, here we look as a bride comes and she is trying to look the very best she ever looks in her life on that wedding day. She might even lose a little weight. She might do her hair different. She's obviously going to have a very special dress. Amen? How many noticed how white and beautiful the dress was before Caleb stepped all over it? Did you notice at the end of the day the dress looked like it had a little distress? It didn't at the beginning of the day though. It was spotless by intention and by design and as we present ourselves to Jesus Christ. You have the opportunity to be spotless before Him. Oh, pastor, you don't know my past, or you don't know my life, or you don't know where I've been. I've been in some pretty dark, deep holes. The blood of Christ can cleanse you from all sin, from every unrighteousness. You can be as pure and white and clean. White as wool before God. because of Christ's sacrifice and because of Jesus' death on the cross. You ever go in and eat and your hands are a little dirty? You're like, oh well, I'm just eating a sandwich real quick. I'll hold it in a napkin, I'll eat it like that. Good enough for me and I guess it's okay. Anybody ever do that? Is it just me? Was that you, honey? Now if my wife was around, she'd be saying, wash your hands. Go wash your hands, take the extra minute and go wash your hands. And I would go wash my hands because of the respect that I have for her. And I'd say, Pastor, you respect your wife more than you respect yourself? I certainly do. She's a better person than I am. And I'm aware of that. You know what the problem is with Jackie? She's most always right. Well, it gets to be a problem. Yes. Sometimes we tolerate sin in our life. And we're like somebody eating with dirty hands. Now, there's certain things that you might get on your hands that you would never a package some fish to go in the freezer. and I took a lemon, cut it in half, and I put the juice all over my hands, and I scrubbed it in, I put more, and I scrubbed it in, I put as much as I could get out of that thing, and then I sat there with my hands for about 15 minutes. And so he said, what are you doing? And I said, I don't wanna go to bed tonight and smell like a fish factory. My wife won't like it. If I can do something like that to please her, what can we do to please our Lord and Savior as we present ourselves to Him? Here I am! Take me like I am! And He will take us like we are, but He doesn't intend to leave us that way. And He doesn't want us to again and again present ourselves to Him filthy, dirty, and soiled. It's offensive to God. if you got BO, you're gonna take a shower. If you got sin in your life, you need to see Jesus Christ and be cleansed from that sin. You don't just get a new name, you don't just get a new identity, you don't just get a new home, you get new family. And I covered that a bit this morning already. Family is It's tremendously important to me. I'm gonna do everything I can to draw tight lines with the Millers. I'm gonna do everything I can to respect them and to defer to them. I'm gonna do everything I can to bring us together. I'm gonna do everything I can to be loyal to them. Inside my loyalty to God. I'm not saying I won't do anything, but I'm willing to do a whole lot. It's my intentions to like them and to love them. We have a whole new family, and it's our Christian family. The Bible calls it the household of faith. The Holy Spirit brings us together in the unity of God, and God perfects us in a church. with one another. It says, here's Christ, the head of that body, and every joint can supply to the other what's needed. You are important to God, and you're an important part of this body, and the Lord's brought us together this morning as an assembly. And every part's important. There's somebody here today that's going, oh, I'm nothing. I don't mean anything. And, you know, if you go out to the driveway and you throw five pieces of gravel in your pocket and call your wife and go, honey, I did some stuff in the driveway. Can you tell what it is? Yeah. Don't look any different to me. Yeah. Well, that's just a difference of whether I'm in church or whether I'm not. You ever thought and felt that way? You're looking at yourself from the devil's perspective, not from God's. You're looking at yourself from a selfish perspective, not God's. God says every part is important, and on the less comely parts, or on the less lovely parts, He bestows a more abundant honor. You say, you know, I'm the least important person here to humans. God's giving you a more abundant honor this morning. He's giving you a more abundant role. He's giving you more love. He's giving you more care. He's giving you more support. If you're here this morning and you're hurting, God loves you more. God focuses on you more. He's wanting to take care of you. Jesus said, I'm here for those who need a physician, not those who are already whole. Christian family is very important to me. If you're part of this household of faith, I intend to love you and I intend to like you. And I intend to draw as tight of lines as I can. I'll get as close to you as you'll let me. I might even get so close that you're a little uncomfortable. It's not because I'm trying to be creepy or anything, it's because I love you and I care. I am for you and I'm with you. I want to see you succeed personally and spiritually. I want to see you succeed in your relationships. I want to see you succeed in the endeavors that you do. I want to see you succeed in growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. We have new responsibilities. Jackie and I talked about everything before we got married. And then after we got married, we realized there was a few things we didn't talk about. We talked about whether she's gonna pack me a lunch every day before I went to work. That's interesting, isn't it, Martha? Yeah. We talked about what we were gonna have for dinner and what we weren't gonna have for dinner. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And I went from, we're gonna eat this, this, and this, and we're not eating this, to God reduced us a little like Luke was talking about. And I said, dear, here's our budget. I will eat anything you have to put on the table to meet it. Lord said, James, you can go down a few notches now. Yesterday, my only job in the whole ceremony was to walk Abby down the aisle, place her hand in Caleb's, and go sit by my wife and do whatever she says. Not really. I walked Abby down the aisle, and I said a few things to Caleb. I took her hand, and I placed it in his. I was giving her away. And you might not have noticed it, but that was the most important part of the whole service. Because I actually had something to give away. Abby's lived under our protection and under our authority, and she's lived in submission to us. She's lived under our care. And she's outside of that. I cut the cord when she was born. I cut a bigger cord yesterday than I cut when she was born. And when Abby was born, a fellow came in the room, and he was an intern, and they asked if he could come in as a learning opportunity. And we agreed and allowed him to come in. It got about time to cut the cord, and he stepped forward like he was going to do it. You know what I did, Cleon? I put my hand on his shoulder and I give him a shove, maybe harder than I intended to, but I said, that's my job. I didn't say the rest, but you're a guest here and you're allowed to watch, but you ain't gonna be cutting no corn today. I instructed her to follow her husband's leadership. And she's not to come back to mom and dad and look for that leadership that she should look for from her husband. And when we accept Christ, we receive a new leader. It's Jesus Christ. And we're not to go back to the old leader. You know what I'm talking about. The old leader will say, hey, come back, come back, remember all those good times we had? Remember this? And he's got special temptations tailored just for you, right Luke? And say, hey, come back under me, get under my authority. God help me that I never fiddle or undermine the new leadership that Abby is under. that she can follow it and be blessed and be happy. I have just a couple questions for you. How committed are you to Christ? Have you given Him everything you have? Would you ever leave? Or is it till death do us part? Will you be faithful? Is Jesus Christ in the preeminence of your affection? I have set my affections on Jackie and on Jesus. I left my mother and father and cleaved to my wife so much that after I was married for four months, my dad said, you don't even like us anymore. You never see us. You haven't visited us one time since you've been married. I'm like, I'm focusing on my wife. I left you guys, and I'm cleaving to her. There has to be an even balance there, or it's a problem. But I understand that. How long will you be faithful? I like this part of the vows, when it's saying sickness and health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse. And we focus on the high side of that, in health. We focus on the richer, and we focus on the better. And it's good to look on the sunny side of the street, but there are going to be times when it's sickness, and there's going to be times when it's poorer. And there's going to be times when it's not better, it's worse. Are you willing to work out your own salvation? Are you willing to work through the difficult times? There's been plenty of times when Jackie and I reach a low point, and I told her, or I wrote her a note, and I said, I want our worst times to be our best times, and I want us to be drawn the closest together, and I want us to, it's you and me against everything else, and we're gonna fight together, side by side, and we're gonna see it through, and the Lord Jesus Christ has always been faithful. sometimes the most difficult times in life as a Christian are the times when God draws us closer together. How about it, Mom? You've been a year without your husband. You've needed the Lord a whole lot more, haven't you? Praise the Lord. How about it, Rhoda? You live with pain every day. and you lean on the Savior. I've never seen you without a sweet spirit. Thanks be to God. I'm not asking you any questions now. Jesus says, I want our worst times to be our best times, and I want the most difficulty you're having. I want you to come and cast your care upon me. I want you to lean on me. I want you to take my yoke upon you. My yoke is easy and my burdens light. This is right out on the very tip of my heart, obviously. I thank God that things were done right and well. I've had difficulty dealing and negotiating everything and being a good Christian. I wonder how I would have done if it would have been rebellion and contention and there would have been a rift there. I know the Lord would have sustained me. I am so thankful for the goodness of God. I want you to think about your vows today as a Christian. You're all close to the Savior. If you're here today and you have never trusted Christ as your Savior, that's really saying, God, I'm sick of my own way. I know I'm a sinner. I trust Christ's death on the cross. for my salvation as a sacrifice for my sin. It's not saying the right words, it's having the right belief and the right faith and the right object of your faith. Jesus Christ who loved you and died for you. And he would so love to give you that new identity, that new name, that new destination, that new home, that new family. We don't accept Christ for the benefits, but he sure does extend a lot of benefits to those who come to him, call on his name. He'll know why he's cast out. You've been listening to a message from the pulpit of Town Center Baptist Church in Happy Valley, Oregon. We invite you to come visit us at 10505 Southeast 85th Avenue in Happy Valley. If we can be of help to you, please call us at 503-659-4494. We wish you God's very best.