Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God and these witnesses to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. God himself instituted marriage at the beginning in the Garden of Eden, before sin entered the world. He said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helpmeet for him. Thereupon God created woman of man's own substance and brought her to the man. Our Lord Jesus Christ honored marriage by his presence and first miracle at the wedding in Canaan of Galilee. And he confirmed it as a divine ordinance and a union not to be severed when he declared, have you not read? that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh what therefore God hath joined together let no man put asunder Moreover, the Holy Spirit sets forth the sacred and exalted nature of marriage when He likens it to the mystical union that exists between Christ and His redeemed Bride, the Church, saying, This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Accordingly, God has designed marriage for the enrichment of lives of those who enter into this estate. for the orderly propagation of the human race, for the generation of a holy seed, and for the avoidance of sexual immorality, all to the glory of the covenant God. Husbands and wives thus have responsibilities befitting God's purpose for their relationship. The Holy Scripture says husbands Now this is going to go to you, Steve, particularly, alright? Husbands, good job, he sat forward, alright. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. The husband is to love his wife as his own body, to care for her, and to cherish her. The Holy Scripture says also, and now this is Juliet, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. The wife is to submit to her husband, to respect him, and to entrust herself to his loving care. Both husbands and wives are to be faithful to each other, to assist each other in all good things, to heartily forgive each other their sins and shortcomings, and to love each other as themselves. Thus united in love, they will more and more reflect their marriage, the unity of Christ and His Church. I feel compelled to say when I encouraged Steve to listen closely to his part, it wasn't that he wasn't listening. I didn't mean to imply that. He was listening intently. Into this holy estate, these two persons, Steve and Juliet, come now to be joined. If anyone can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, let him now declare it. or else hereafter forever hold his peace. Now Steve and Juliet, I require and charge you both that if either of you knows any cause why you may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, you do now confess it. Steve? Yes, I'm gonna focus on you again. Will you have this woman, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of marriage. And will you love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her? Will you comfort her, honor and cherish her? and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live. If so, please answer, I will." I will. Okay. And I got it nice and loud on the recorder right here. And I'm just teasing. When I had the privilege of meeting with you both last week, I could see how much you already cherish her and is eager to love and serve her. Okay. Juliet, will you have this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of marriage, and will you love him comfort him, respect and submit to him, even as the church submits to Christ, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, as long as you both shall live. If so, please say, I will. I'm sorry to be a little more informal. It's the first wedding I've done in a home. It's kind of nice, actually, with all the family. Excuse me. Let us pray. Most holy and most merciful Father, at once the God of nature and of grace, creator, preserver, and redeemer of mankind, fountain of life, of love, and joy and peace, whose presence is the happiness of every condition. We beseech you to be present and favorable to these, your servants, and to fill them with a sense of the solemnity of the vows they are about to make. Enable them, we pray, to remember and to keep these vows. looking to you for your assistance and help them to enter into these sacred obligations in humble dependence upon your enabling grace. Grant this, O Father, with the forgiveness of our sins, through Jesus Christ your Son, our Savior and Lord. Amen. Well, before we have the exchanging of vows and the rings, There is an optional place for a homily, which is kind of a short sermon, and Steve and Juliet said they would like to have a message, so I'm going to give you a brief message from the scriptures, and then we'll get to the especially exciting stuff. So you've got to wait a little bit longer, Steve. You're going to be all right? You asked for this, right? Yeah. All right. Okay. Well, again, I'm delighted to be here with you and to administer the wedding with you. The scripture I'm going to read for you is one that's been dear to my heart the last six or seven years, and I'm actually going to share from a message I did on it years ago with you. The Bible verse is Proverbs chapter 18, verse 22, and I'll read it for you. Proverbs 18, 22. And it may sound like it's particularly focused at you, Steve. It'll be, you'll hear it for both of you, but I think you'll understand I can really identify with you here. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. I'll read that again. You know, it's frankly pretty contrary to a lot of things that are said out there today, but it says this. Whoso findeth a wife, I want you to Looking at Julieta here and just recognizing what you're being told here. You found a good thing. I know you're ready to say amen. And you obtain favor of the Lord. Of course, Steve, I was able to closely identify with you administering another service a few years ago for you and your sadness. Today, also, I can excitedly especially identify with your gladness administering this service. In fact, I'm borrowing from a sermon I preached nearly six years ago to this day, after marrying my wife, Fernanda. I didn't marry us, it wasn't at our wedding, but not long after I preached this, thinking about it. And like you, as the scripture talks about, I went after her. And I'll share a little bit about how you shared how you went after to get a good wife. What this Bible verse is teaching us is that he who seeks a wife finds a gift from God as God designed for men. He who seeks a wife finds a good gift from God as God designed for men. Marriage is a creation ordinance. What that means is before the fall, In the Garden of Eden, God commanded marriage as the normal thing between man and wife. It's a creation ordinance. It still has his will and blessing for all the world. And marriage is also the most frequent metaphor for God and his people, for Christ and his church. Steve said to me when I was meeting with him last week and got to meet Juliet and learn more about how you came together and how you decided to formally come together, He said to me, and he had that excitement and smile and shimmer in his eyes, he said, I couldn't believe Juliet was still available. She is so kind and pleasant. And for instance, while he was a recent widower, in rehab, she saw him crying as an employee there, as a nurse, and inquired what was wrong. You know, there's a lot of people that'll see somebody crying and move on. I can tell you that from my own experience. especially in this kind of situation. But she was so kind and pleasant, she saw him and said, what's wrong, Steve? I'm going to help you get through this. And she cared for him the same way Rebecca and Rachel were recognized in the book of Genesis as good catches at the well. And so Abraham's servant and later Jacob respectively cast their hooks quickly before the good catch got away. Steve, like a real man, you took the lead. You sought Juliet out. And as you enter into this lifelong covenant with her, the Bible affirms to you, your search for a good wife was worth it. And that's the message for you. Your search for a good wife was worth it. I see him nodding already now. He's just gonna nod more and more as the days go on, right? First, I wanna say, a man must diligently seek out a good wife. In our day, I think that's often, even in the church, sadly, confused and a lost thing. But men are to lead and men are to seek. So it says, whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good theme. But that implies what? That implies seeking. That implies going after. You know, a prize catch doesn't just jump into the boat, right? Now forgive me, we're going to move away from the illustration of fishing to a nicer illustration in a moment of jewels and pearls. I don't mean to say you're the fish, but the idea of a good catch, we speak like that, right? And you have to pursue her, you have to woo her, invite her to come into the boat. You have to go get her, and you did. And that's something that I was really encouraged about. He talked about at first, I went after her. He knew what he found, and he knew it was a good gift, and he wanted to go get her. Proverbs 18.22, again, it says twice, findeth. And that implies that you are seeking to find. You might have overlooked her and her kindness to you, but you saw it and you went after her. Proverbs 31 verse 10 says, who can find such a good wife? Proverbs 31 is really describes kind of the ideal wife and mother that receives the honor of her husband and praise of her children. And it says in that verse, who can find it? Recognizing you have to look hard. It's hard to find. But when you find, you need to go after it. and it implies a lot of looking, deliberate effort, and proactive approach to things. So Steve, thankfully Juliet was there to be found, but you recognized it and you went after her. And you said once you left Real Vista Recovery Care, you made a point to make your developing professional friendship with her become more personal, romantic, and permanent. He went right after it as soon as he got home. Like finding a pearl of great price, as Jesus says in the scriptures, and acquiring it. I know what I found. I'm going to go buy the whole field and get that pearl. And that was wise. Now, similarly, when a man finds a good wife, she is God's reward for her husband's searching for her. This is what we want our wives to really understand, what a gift of God you are, what a blessed jewel you are. We're going to move to that imagery now. We'll move away from the fish. But it says again, you find her, you find a good thing, a gift of God. When a miner finally finds a jewel in a cave or a piece of gold, he rejoices, and he quickly takes it for himself, no sharing. He claims it, right? No, it's so valuable. Proverbs 18, 22 again says it's a good thing. And the Hebrew there means the idea of goodwill, favor, acceptance. After all, what does God say in Genesis 2, 18? It's not good for man to be alone. What is the solution to that? Adam surveys all the animals, names all the animals in the garden. But now, this is bone of my bone, this is flesh of my flesh. God gave woman to be wife to man. It's not good to be alone, so therefore what a good thing it is to find your wife. He designed a wife to be a man's helpmeet. The phrase helpmeet is used in Genesis there. And here's what the Hebrew has in mind, it's really lovely. Help means to be in front of, and have an idea, as you will in a moment, take your vows, face to face, looking at each other, hand in hand, almost maybe dancing through life together, you know, the counterpart, the equal, but feeling the difference of what man doesn't have, contributing the different things that complement the man as equals. Help meet means in front of, in sight of, opposite to, facing. Particularly, help meet means counterpart, corresponding to him, companion. I like the idea of corresponding to him. That's the idea of what God is giving a man with a wife, corresponding, a companion. Again, Proverbs 31 10, who can find this certain kind of wife? It's very difficult. Like Proverbs 12 verse 4 says, a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. And that word virtuous in the Hebrew actually means power, strength, wealth. It has the idea of an army, capacity. It's not just character, but caliber. The ability to show up and keep serving the right way against the flow of others. Similar to Ruth 3.11, Ruth comes back, she decides to become part of God's people. She had lost her husband. She comes back with Naomi, and Boaz meets her, and he speaks of Ruth as virtuous. It's the same idea, strong. And Boaz, and the whole city knew that Ruth was virtuous, strong character and caliber, because everybody saw her working the fields, providing for her mother-in-law from her first marriage, waiting, not knowing what would happen. They saw her hard sacrificial service and they recognized caliber and character of this woman as Steve has. So Steve, you have experienced with how much Juliet served you in your healing body and heart. Juliet, I want you also to trust that Steve will feel proud to have you at his side. He knows how valuable you are. And I saw it last week. I think if he had his choice, we would have just done the marriage ceremony right there. He knows how valuable you are. He always remembers this. And I want you to always remember how he pursued you because he understood how valuable you are to him. And Steve, I want to remind you, it just continues in the marriage, always pursue her still. Take her home. Cherish her. Serve her. And my dear neighbor, it is nice to see you smiling again. My wife, Fernanda, would love to be here. Our baby's just two weeks old, so she's being careful that he's not sick and things. She wishes she could be here. She said, pleased to say hi. And she said, I think I was coming, and how much you were smiling. It was lovely to see you. She said, she just enjoys waving across the road to you. And I didn't realize this, because I'm not home too much. She said she enjoys waving across the road to you. She says he's so sweet. He just always is so nice. He's always smiling and waving back. And Juliet, I want you to know that we're so glad that you'll be here now, smiling and waving back at his side. And I know that you know what you have in Steve as well. He said to me when we met, Steve is a good man, very lovable and attentive. And the way she said it, I think we all know, it's hard to find a good man too, isn't it? And he is a good man. And I guess I should say he's a good catch. I don't want to seem like we're only using the fish analogy with you. He's a good fish too. The best meat, well, I don't know. Let's move on to the jewels and the pearls as well. But he's a good man, very lovable and attentive. He's amazing, you said. He's amazing. Steve, how amazing is it to have such love again? Amen? Well, let me share this lovely quote with you in conclusion by the Puritan Matthew Henry. Remembering that it says that God made woman in the garden. This is not the normative way, but when he first made woman, of course he made Adam out of the ground. He made woman by pulling a rib out of Adam and making Eve. And with that in view, the period in Matthew Henry says this. The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected. and near his heart to be beloved. Steve, tomorrow and beyond, I am confident that you will be glad of the vows you are about to take and remember these words and affirm them to Juliet in how you live your life with her every morning, every afternoon, every evening, every week, every month, every year. Your search for a good wife was worth it. Again, the scripture says, Proverbs 18, 22. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Your search for a good wife was worth it. Now, how about we get to the finalizing of things. First, the exchange of vows. And so, Steve, I'll ask you to repeat after me. And first I'll ask you to join hands together and look at each other as best you can. Okay. So Steve, I'll ask you to repeat after me your vows to Juliet. I, Steve. I, Steve. Take you, Juliet. Take you, Juliet. To be my lawfully wedded wife. To take you to be my lawfully wedded wife. And I do promise. And I do promise. And covenant. And covenant. before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful husband in sickness and in health in plenty and in want in joy and in sorrow As long as long as we both as long as we both shall live shall live Okay, those are your vows now juliet Still looking at steve as best you can i'm gonna give you the vows you can repeat after me. I juliet I do yet Take you steve. Thank you steve to be my lawfully wedded husband to be my husband And I do promise and I do promise and covenant and covenant before god and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful wife in sickness and in health in plenty and in want in joy and in sorrow as long as we both shall live Time for the exchange of the rings. So Steve, what symbol do you have as a pledge that you will faithfully perform these covenant vows? And you'll take her ring and be ready to put it on her finger and I'll give you the words to stay next as you place it on her finger. When you're ready, you can go ahead and get it started, yeah? There you go. If you're like me, I'd be prone to drop it, so we'll get it on there a little bit. Okay, good. Okay, now Steve, you can repeat after me as you place this on her finger. This ring, I give you as a token and pledge of constant faith and abiding love. Okay. What symbol, Juliet, do you have as a pledge that you will faithfully perform these covenant vows? This ring, okay. So as you place it on his finger, please repeat after me. This ring I give you as a token and pledge of constant faith and abiding love. Let's pray for God's blessing. You can keep your hands together, that's okay. Let us pray. Most merciful and gracious God, from whom the whole family and heaven and earth is named, we beseech you set the seal of your approval upon the marriage into which our brother and sister have entered this day. Grant them your fatherly blessing. Work in them the grace of your Holy Spirit. Enable them to fulfill with pure and constant affection the vow and covenant made between them. Guide them in the way of righteousness and peace, that loving and serving you with one mind and heart all the days of their life, they may be abundantly enriched with the tokens of your everlasting favor in Christ Jesus our Lord. In all of life's experiences, lift up your countenance upon them, that they may be thankful in prosperity and patient in adversity. May their marriage be fruitful for this life and for the life to come. Grant them wisdom and strength to build a home that will be to the glory of your name and the coming of your kingdom. May they live together many years. and in the hour of death may they part in the blessed hope of celebrating forever with all the saints of God the marriage of Christ and the church he loved. Hear our prayer in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. By virtue of the authority committed unto me as a minister of the Church of Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you husband and wife. according to the ordinance of God and the law of the state in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. You may now seal your commitment with a kiss. We're having demands from the peanut gallery. Can we have another one? I said to my wife, Julia is very sweet and shy and I expect you'll get a nice big long one later. I'm pretty sure he's counting on it. Well, don't forget at the reception we'll ding-a-ling on the glasses and get a couple more smooches out of you. Let's pray the Lord's blessing on you. The Lord our God fill you with grace and grant that you may long live together in all godliness and holiness. Amen. The last part, the presentation, just for fun, you know I married my first child, my eldest child, my daughter last year, and when I presented them, I said the wrong last name. I said her, so I'm gonna be real, I'm saying that out loud so I make sure I don't do that. I think I'm less in danger of doing that because you're not my daughter, I'm used to saying your last name. So I'm gonna get this right the first time, are you ready? And why don't you join your hands again. and try to look out towards everybody as best you can. It now gives me great pleasure to present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Steve and Juliet Barber.