I don't often begin a sermon by asking you to potentially distract yourselves, but I would like you to look around the congregation. You're sitting at the front, sitting at the back, just look up. You're not doing that weird thing where you have to turn around, shake someone's hand and tell them that you love them, but I at least want you to think about the people who are sitting in this room with you this morning. I want you to think about the different situations and circumstances in which the people in this room, especially if we are Christians here together, the situations and circumstances in which our brothers and sisters find themselves. Some of that is very obvious. There are children here, some of them pretty much babes in arms. There are toddlers. There are older teenagers. There are young people. There are middle-aged people. There are people who are getting older, and there are old people. And you can determine which of those categories you feel comfortable putting yourselves in. There are people who are married. There are people who are single. There are parents, and there are children. Some of the children are, by God's grace, walking in the ways of God. Others of them are not. But we are in different situations and circumstances, and we are all seeking, I trust, if God's people, to glorify God together in this world. That's why we need to understand life under God. This series that we've begun where we're trying to take account of the different situations and circumstances, the different roles and relationships that God has given to us in this world so as to bring glory and honor to his name. And so, having looked at the basic principle of living according to God's word, looked at God making us in his own image, male and female, looked at the fact that God has established the days of our lives from the beginning to the end. Having looked at what it means to be men made in the image of God and women made in the image of God, we're now going to start looking at some of these other roles and relationships. What it means to be married or single, what it means to be a child or a parent, what it means to be young or old, what it means to be a widow. And the thing we're starting with this morning is singleness. As you look around, there are people in this congregation, you may be one of them, friends of yours, children, children who aren't in this congregation, fellow members of the body of Christ who at this point are not married. It's very easy to be insensitive with regard to singleness. it's very easy to be hypersensitive with regard to singleness. To be unmarried can bring its particular pressures and pleasures, pains and problems, possibilities and prospects. Very often, even for God's people, being unmarried can provoke anger or fear. or it can bring with it a measure of expectation and hope. Now, when we think of being single, most of us think of somebody who is young enough not yet to be married. But that is not the only category. And we will come on in due course to think specifically about widows and widowers. But I don't want to dismiss them entirely from this consideration either. We will look at it more specifically. But every Christian is single at some point. perhaps even before they were Christians. Everybody begins life as a single person, at least in some sense. Some remain single, either temporarily or for a long time. Many will return to a state of singleness because it is likely that one or another spouse will be called into the presence of Christ first. And as with all these other states and conditions, God does not leave us wondering who and what and why we are in the world that he has made. God speaks to this as much as he does to any other state and circumstance. You'll find it, for example, in 1 Corinthians 7. I'm just going to read a portion of that chapter now. We'll come back to it, God willing, on another occasion. To set the scene, Paul says at the end of that chapter, he's talked about marriage and how wives and husbands don't have authority over their own bodies, but they have authority over the body of their spouse. He's spoken to the unmarried and to the widows, that it's good for them if they remain even as I am. He's given commandments to those who are married. And now in verse 25, concerning virgins, he says, I have no commandment from the Lord, yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in his mercy has made trustworthy. I suppose, therefore, that this is good because of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless, such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. If you begin at this point to think, has this man got a bit of a downer on marriage? Remember that in the Corinthian situation, he's speaking to a specific time of challenge, where there seems to have been a potential danger looming. And we're trying to draw out principles rather than say, this is always, all of you should think that marriage is something you should avoid if you could. So don't get that message. Verse 29, this I say, brothers, that time is short, there's the urgency, so that from now on, even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it, for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There's a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin. Let them marry. Nevertheless, he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and is so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. So then, he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment. And I think I also have the Spirit of God. God speaks to the state of being a single saint and this is relevant then for all of us as part of a body of Christ and with friends and family members who either have been or are, will be or will again at some point be unmarried. We're going to look first of all today at the problems of singleness, but then the patterns of singleness, and then we'll come on, God willing, to some principles that will help us to live in that state in a way that glorifies God. The first thing I want to say though before we look at specific problems and challenges is that being single in no way compromises your masculinity and femininity as made in God's image. To be single doesn't make someone less a man or less a woman or less a man of God or a woman of God. It may influence the expression of your masculinity and femininity. A married man or woman is going to express their identity in a slightly different sphere because they have a different set of relationships in which to express it. But your identity as a man or a woman, a man or a woman of God, is not affected by your marital status. The second important thing to say is that being single, being unmarried, does not in any way make you a second class citizen of the kingdom of God. And there's a danger there because sometimes it's possible to emphasize marriage to such a degree that those who aren't married can feel like they're relatively worthless, or even, in contrast to that, to forget marriage and to elevate singleness as if that is in itself something to be pursued. There's a category confusion that can creep in. The important thing, as we set out, is to realize that being a single saint does not make you a worthless saint. It does not degrade you in the eyes of God, and it does not degrade you in the eyes of your brothers and sisters. And so we need to be aware of hypersensitivity, so you can never talk about these things because you're always treading on eggshells, or insensitivity, where we overlook the fact that singleness can bring its own particular difficulties and challenges. Now you may have been subjected to this, you may have trodden on those eggshells or stamped on some toes from time to time. I'll tell you now who are some of the worst offenders, is the recently married. Okay, they're in the first flush of married life, everything feels joyful and delightful, they're discovering happinesses that they had not previously known and experienced, and they want everybody else to be married as well. And they get sometimes in the faces of people who aren't yet married, and they make them feel like they're totally missing out on everything good that life has to offer. It's obnoxious. It's insensitive. Incidentally, something else that's almost as dangerous is unmarried people who are giving the recently married wonderful advice on how they should live now that they are married. I've heard some people say, oh my word, you have no idea what you are talking about. Not because no one who's unmarried does. Paul himself is not a married man as he writes these things. But it's often romanticized or fantasized nonsense. Single people don't need your pity and they don't need to be encouraged in a crass or unhelpful way. We need to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ because we are all part of a divine family in which even if we are not married, We have brothers and sisters and mothers and houses and lands. And one thing that I would have you remember, if you are a single saint, or if you know someone who needs this encouragement, is to remember that you are not isolated and alone. whether you are young or older, even a widow or a widower. If you're a Christian, God has loved you in Christ. He loves you still. And I trust if he's put you in this congregation, he's put you into a family where you are loved and where you will be cared for in your whole humanity. But being single can bring its distinct challenges, some particular problems. It can be a season of desire, a season of drifting, a season of distress, a season of desperation, or a season of despair. What do I mean by these things? Well, first of all, singleness is typically a season of desire. Why? Because God has made us male and female. And therefore, most of us have desires for companionship that is of the mind and of the soul and of the body, which want to be satisfied. And those things, those desires are legitimate in and of themselves when they are rightly directed. So you think of Genesis chapter 2 and verse 18, where the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. And when God had taken from the side of Adam the rib out of which he had formed the woman, he brought the woman to the man. And how did Adam respond? This is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She's going to be called woman. She's taken out a man. Do you not think that Adam was excited and delighted when the woman who had been made for him in the garden, the only thing of which God had not yet said, as it is, it is very good. He brought a woman to the man and the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. There was a satisfaction, there was a delight, and therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Something similar, Paul picks up. You notice how often when speaking about marriage and singleness, Christ and his apostles go back to the beginning. But Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, verses 8 and 9, I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it's good for them if they remain even as I am, but if they cannot exercise in self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. What's Paul referring to? Normal, legitimate, sexual desire. And one of the things that you have when you are a single Christian under normal circumstances is a desire for that companionship. which reveals itself in many ways within the marriage union, including the only legitimate expression of sexual desire that God has provided in this world. So it's a season of desire, but some of those desires are not legitimate. there is no legitimate outlet for your legitimate sexual desires outside of marriage. And in this fallen world, that means that for every single person, you're in a necessary period of chastity. And if those desires, because of sin, have become particularly twisted and unnatural, some will be lifelong chastity. will never be able to find a way to satisfy twisted desires or may not have opportunity to satisfy legitimate desires. Some have no such appetite for fellowship or for sexual union. You might think that's very strange, very weird, but actually our Lord speaks to it. It's not the most strange thing. In Matthew 19, verses 11 and 12, our Lord says, There are eunuchs who were born from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who've made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. What he's saying there is that some people don't have these kinds of natural desires for companionship, or specifically here, sexual appetite. Let me tell you about a very wise friend of mine, an older pastor, who was at a conference in the UK. And a woman came up to him and said to him, Pastor, can you please help me with a matter that's private and troubling? She said, I've listened to you preach, and I want your advice, because it sounds like you're a straight talker. And he said, certainly, ma'am. Sit down with me and let me know what's on your heart. And he said she was a beautiful woman. But by any current earthly standards, she was gorgeous. And as they spoke, it became clear that she seems to be a sincere, spiritual woman. And she said, Pastor, I'm being bullied. Bullied? Yes. Most of the people I know want me to be married. He said, well, they keep pushing me. He said, I don't want to be married. He said, what do you mean? She said, I think I'm normal, I think I'm healthy, I enjoy the life that God has given me, but when I think about being with a man, everything in me just goes completely cold. And he said to her, Sister, you must not marry. You must not be bullied into marriage by people who think they know you better than you know yourself at this point and God has made you. He said he'd never come across another case like that, but here was someone who in all respects seemed to be well constituted for marriage, who had no appetite for it. And in his mind, she was in the category of one who'd been a eunuch from her mother's womb. God had not given her those particular desires, and that was fine. Then, as we've already hinted, there are some who have no legitimate expressions currently for that. We've said before, if you're not ready for marriage, then you shouldn't be pursuing it. You need to be in a position where you could actually care, especially young men, where you could care for a wife, you could provide for her. And then we need to take account also of the fact that there are some sins and there are some circumstances that have limited our prospects for marriage or remarriage. And some of those come back from before we were Christians. Now it doesn't mean that if we'd sinned in particular ways, if there'd been particular sexual immorality or serial monogamy or divorces or whatever it may be in our history, that there's no prospect ever of being married. But even forgiven sin can have its particular consequences and it can be limiting then in terms of our present circumstances or our future prospects. So one of the challenges of singleness is that it's a season of desire. And some of those desires are legitimate, but not right now. And some of them are not legitimate. And some of them may not always exist in everybody the same way that they do in others. But let me underline that every Christian, whatever may be their present desires for companionship and fulfilment, intellectually, spiritually and physically, you are alive in Christ Jesus and you are wrapped up in the love of God and in the family of God in the church. Paul had learned in whatever state he was to be content. There's a danger. for single men and women. Some of you will know it. It's not just for single men and women. It's the selfish voice that says, I'm the only person who's experiencing this right now. I'm the only young person in this church. We're the only family in this church. I'm the only sufferer in this church. I'm the only single person who faces these kinds of battles and these kinds of problems. My friends, that's very rarely the case. And even if it is, it shouldn't be an occasion for self-pity. The other thing that we must speak to are the specific sexual temptations that flood through a world in which sexual relations have come to define what it means to be truly human, and to define what it means to be fulfilled as a man or a woman. In this world, sexual satisfaction has come to be seen as the be-all and end-all. So whatever sexual desires I have, no matter how twisted or perverted they may be, that's what defines me, and it's my right to be satisfied. and the world will offer you 101, 1,001 different avenues to be satisfied selfishly and sinfully, which is no satisfaction at all. So whether or not it is the private sins of pornography or voyeurism or whatever it may be, or whether or not it is the pursuit of illegitimate marriages or a sexual satisfaction outside of marriage, I plead with you, Christian man or woman, now. draw the line and hold the line by the grace of God in Christ Jesus. The consequences of sexual sin, which is described as no others are as being against your own body, are not worth the fleeting pleasures that they will bring. Again, we're not saying that if you sinned in particular ways sexually, everything from now on is helpless and hopeless and dark and miserable. but we are saying beware of these things. There is forgiveness through Christ for all such sins to those who come, but there are real burdens that can come with them. So singleness is a season of desire. It can also be a season of drifting, a season of aimlessness and a lack of commitment. This is almost the flip side of some of the other things we're talking about. People who say we've got plenty of time. Were any of you, even as Christians, advised to play the field? I was. I was told by a particular person, I should say there weren't a member of this congregation in case you're worrying, but someone said, you know, keep a number of options open, Jeremy. You know, juggle a little bit. You know, see what's out there. Figure out what you want to do and then you can, you know, you're young and you're free. There's an almost Christian version of the go and sow your wild oats mentality. You can end up thinking or not thinking, drifting along, happy to be a a pudding, a blancmange, a spineless mess. I'll say especially that this is typically a problem for young men. When I travel around, I often will find a lot of godly young women with a measure of maturity, common sense, grace, and I'm thinking, how is it that these women are wandering around single? And then I meet the men. And I go, ah, that'll be why. because they're spineless, milk-livered sops who aren't getting on with the job of being a young man. At the extreme, this is the guy who's slumped in his parents' bedroom somewhere, wearing his boxer shorts, playing computer games, and hoping that sooner or later the world will catch up with him. It's not exclusively a male problem, but it can be one. Indecision can cripple. Women who will never say yes to a man just in case a better man comes along to whom she might then want to say yes. Men who never ask a particular girl out just in case she's not the one. unsettled, constantly dissatisfied. In Ecclesiastes chapter 6 and verse 9, better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of desire. This also is vanity and grasping for the wind. There might be a suggestion at least there that it's better to have something in your hand than it is to be always thinking about who's out there somewhere. And there are Christian versions of this. Did you ever speak to a young man? I remember, you know, this will date me a little bit, but I remember talking to one guy in my relative youth and he said, yeah, what I'm really looking for is like a Christian Britney Spears. What would that be today? Charisma Carpenter? Is that the one? That lady, woman? You know, or the pie-eyed Christian lady. Oh, well, and again, maybe back in the day. Who would we go for today? I don't know. But I want him to have the theological nous of John Owen. I want him to have the spiritual caliber of John Calvin. And I want him to ride over the hill like Vin Diesel coming up out of his car. What planet are you living on here? This is not realistic. And if you sit around waiting, until an unattainable goal suddenly presents itself to you and throws itself into your lap. You're waiting for a fiction, and you can drift on, not getting on with life. And your teens pass, and your 20s pass, and your 30s pass. Not because you can't find, but because you're not bothering. Singleness can be a season of drifting. It can also be a season of distress. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of these things, all of the time and everybody, each of these, I'm talking about some of the different problems and challenges. A season of distress. where someone isn't trying to drift, and they do have legitimate desires, but it seems a time of long waiting and no prospects. And if you have those legitimate God-given appetites, then that period of waiting, it can feel like something is missing. And there are times when it can gnaw away at your insides. And you may have been praying even for years that God would provide you with a godly husband or a godly wife. You may have been pleading that God would give you peace in the meantime, rather than you being agitated and stirred up. Some can become... It's painful, some of you know this, where you've seen all your friends, whether male or female, and they've all found someone else, one after the other. And what's the difficult language that often presses in, at least the English idiom, that I've been left on the shelf. Everybody else was wanted by somebody. I've not been wanted by anybody. And that sorrow can become bitterness, can become anger. Marriage can get out of proportion. And there's a season of distress where public bravery or sometimes even public bravado, but there's private grief and there's private wrestling. And perhaps you've known the young man who says, I don't care, I don't need to get married, I don't need any woman. Now, he told this story publicly at his wedding, so I don't think I'm trampling on anybody. Some of you will remember our friend Susie, who was here for a while, and she got married to Matt Royal. They're going to be back with us, visiting again shortly. But Matt said at the wedding, or his best man said at the wedding, that about a week and a half before he'd met Susie, Matt was living at home and going, you know what? I think I'm done with women. You know, I've looked at him. Is anybody out there for me? I'm just going to be fine by myself. I'll be coping. And then he met Susie and things changed quite rapidly. Now, that might have just been lads chatting with one another. I'm not speaking for Matt there, but I've heard people say things like that. And on the inside, they're going, I wish there was someone for me. I feel like I need to pretend it doesn't matter, but it really does. and a season of distress can become a season of desperation, all-consuming desire. Your thoughts, your words, even your dreams are taken up with marriage. I know people who have no boyfriend who have their wedding all planned out. I'm not saying that's utterly ridiculous, but the level of detail has got somewhere beyond where you actually are in your life. And the idea of getting married, having someone, dominates your moments, even your months and your years. It can become extremely wearying. it can become extremely unattractive. It can become dangerous. People who are obsessed about finding someone to marry often scare off the people who might actually have married them. I was at one conference. I heard about a young lady who had received a letter after a previous conference, handwritten, I was watching you all weekend and I find you very attractive physically and I wonder if you would be interested in pursuing a relationship that is likely to end in marriage. Now brothers and sisters, that's not a proposal, that's borderline stalking. He was desperate to be married. I think it's fair to say anybody writing that letter probably needs a little bit of social coaching. But on the other hand, do you see how that kind of desperation actually made him dangerous? It's certainly unattractive. Honestly, if you're a godly woman and you got a letter like that, would you be going, hmm, yes, I think this could be the mature, sensible, well-balanced and godly individual I've been looking for? I don't think so. Or the other way around, with women who are trying to make themselves available. And you think, why are you trying so hard? It's not particularly engaging. But this can happen when marriage becomes an idol. When I must be married dominates the thinking to the extent that you can compromise or make tragic mistakes. Christian, do you not know people who got married as a professing Christian to an unbeliever because they felt they had to be married, or who married somebody who was not well suited to them, somebody who would not be a helper suitable because they were simply desperate to have a ring on their finger. What they need is to be Mr. or Mrs. Someone, and nothing else matters. This desperation shows a challenge in our own hearts. I've said this before. Some of you might have heard me say this to you. I don't know. But discontent with your single state is dangerous. Why? Because if you are discontent with being single, I'll tell you this now, you're going to be discontent when you're married. Because the problem isn't that you're single or married. The problem is that you are not content. And the discontent, the angry, the bitter, is going to carry that discontent, that anger and that bitterness from their single state into their married state. I'm not happy that I'm not married will very easily become I'm not happy that I'm married to you. And you end up then with people who are as bitter and as unhappy married as they were before. Marriage is not necessarily the answer. It's not the answer to your sin. It's not the answer to your sorrow. It may be part of it. but make sure that this desperation doesn't breed the kind of bitterness and discontent that shows you something about your sinful heart that you need to deal with before you get married or at least start dealing. And then it can be a season of despair because time passes and you reach the conclusion that it is hopeless. And that can be painful, abandoned, unwanted. And it can feel, especially if you did desire marriage, as if you have reached a time of pointless and painful emptiness. People who perhaps begin to ask, did I sin and am I being punished? Perhaps you remember before you were married, or if you're not married, you've thought like that. Someone say, am I just too ugly? Am I cursed? Perhaps you feel the pressure of your past decisions and their consequences, and you weep when no one else knows you're weeping because your heart is full of the what-ifs of a previous period of life. And you can feel, what is the point? Even, what have I got to live for? A season of desire, drifting, distress, desperation or even despair. Now let me underline again that not all single Christians feel all of this all the time. Some don't feel very much of it, some feel a lot of it, some feel parts of it, others do not. But there is often a mix and a shift, especially over the passage of time. Brothers and sisters, Don't be insensitive to the challenges that being a single Christian can bring. Don't be hypersensitive, especially if you are a single Christian or if you're someone who's a friend of a single Christian and won't help them in the things where they might want help. We need sensitivity. We need to remember that whether we're young and not yet married, getting older and not yet married, wanting to be married or not wanting to be married, married itself, we'll look at that as well, or perhaps once married for whatever reason, that we are members together of the body of Jesus Christ. Have you ever thought about what it means for you to have a widow? or an unmarried man or woman next to you. Parents, have you thought about what it means to train your children to be single to the glory of God, at least for a time in their lives? We need to face the potential problems of singleness. But I don't want to leave you with problems. God willing, we'll come on to some positive principles and some positive practice. But I want to leave you this morning, before we go, with some patterns of singleness. I want you to think about the fact that in the Bible, God has not only spoken to these things, but has given you models and examples. In this respect, we need, if we are Christians, to reset our attitudes and to reset our thinking in this respect, because our Old Testament and our New Testament is full of examples of men and women who spent some of their life, a long part of their life, much of their life, or all of their life, as single men and women. Men like Isaac, who had to go and find a wife. And Jacob, who had to work for his. Joseph, who spent those years single before he was then given the daughter of an Egyptian priest as a wife. Naomi. Naomi went with a husband and came back without one. Ruth also lost a husband and spent time as a widow after having been a single Moabitess. Have you thought about Boaz? Boaz was probably an older man when he came across Ruth there in his field. But Boaz was such a man of God. What about Daniel? Is there any indication that Daniel and his three companions ever got married in Babylon? There doesn't seem to be. It's possible, but it's not stated. Do you remember Ezekiel prophesying in a far country? And the Lord said to him, what, Ezekiel, I will take away from you the delight of your eyes. Anna, Anna had been a widow, possibly from her youth. Depending on how you interpret it, she may have spent the majority of her life as a widow. Mary and Martha were not married, neither was Lazarus, two sisters and a brother living together, serving the Lord. Dorcas was a widow. The Apostle Paul may have been a divorcee. He may never have married, but it's at least possible, especially given his progress as a Pharisee, which would almost invariably have involved marriage. that his wife had left him. Does that add a little color, maybe even a little distress to Paul saying to the Corinthians, if your unbelieving spouse departs, you can let them go. What about Timothy? Timothy was a young man, seems to have been unmarried when the apostle Paul found him and took him under his wings. Some are unmarried, some are widowed, some may have been divorced. Like all saints, to be in that state brought painful seasons. It wasn't always related to whether or not they were married. There are plenty of married people in the scriptures who have problems. Marriage was not the answer to all their problems. But my point is this, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Naomi, Ruth, Boaz, Daniel, his friends, Ezekiel, Anna, Mary, Martha, Lazarus, Dorcas, Paul, and Timothy. Do you hear those names and go, ah, the offscourings, the worthless, the despicable, the second rate in the kingdom of God, the Lord's rejects. Or as you think of their histories, do you think of men and women who lived useful, fruitful, and fulfilled lives, even though some of them struggled with what it meant to be single in this world? And I hope some of you are thinking, haven't you left out the prime example? Who's the prime example of a man perfectly content and happy, perfectly beloved, perfectly serving, perfectly sacrificing, perfectly satisfied in God, indeed, the perfect man who never married? Jesus of Nazareth. My friends, if nothing else, the fact that our Saviour lived such a life as a single man in this world underlines to us that singleness or marriage, marriage or widowhood, is not in and of itself the final register, the tipping point of your usefulness, your satisfaction, your happiness, or your fruitfulness as a child of God. When we look in due course at what it means to live as a single saint for the glory of God. I want you to think about this confident that in the written word and from the living word and from these living servants, God has underlined to us that a single saint can be a happy, useful, fruitful, satisfied, God-glorifying part of his church and his world. It's a season of desire and that's not in itself a bad thing, as long as the desires are right. Don't let it be a season of drifting, don't let it become a season of bitter distress, a season of twisted desperation, and it need never be a season of despair. God knows what he is doing. His word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Whatever else we have or do not have, if you are a Christian, you have God. And you have God's church. and you are part of a family where you are beloved, where you are valued, where you are esteemed. And we want to learn how, with holy sensitivity, to love, care for, invest in, and prosper every one of God's people. Do not define yourself first and foremost by your singleness or your marriage. You are first and foremost God's creature and Christ's redeemed son or daughter. Let that be your starting point and you can walk in the ways of Jesus Christ blameless. Amen.