All right, well, welcome to the Peacemaker. This is lesson 12, overcoming evil with good. This is our last Lord's Day in the Peacemaker. So as we begin, let's pray. Father in heaven, we do thank you for this opportunity that we've had over these few months to really just get some needed peace and reconciliation skills so that we might have healthier relationships that glorify you, that we might enjoy more. We ask that you'd help us to understand these principles, that we would internalize them, and that as the author encourages us to do, let us breathe grace because we increasingly see the grace given to us in Jesus Christ. In his name we pray, amen. All right, so there is kind of a big idea, a big picture for this one. Handouts are being passed around right now. So overcoming evil with good, kind of the key, it's kind of a question here that we kind of can start with and think about as we go, is okay, let's say we've done the peacemaker, we've tried really hard to examine the idols in our own hearts, and we've worked on our confession, we've tried to work with someone, and peacemaking, it's just really slow, or it's not going well, or they're just not interested. So then what do you do? What do you do in all attempts to resolve a conflict failed, or are going really slow? And the answer is, we overcome evil with good. And Sandy starts the chapter by pointing out that this is not the way the world solves problems. Usually there's a winner and a loser, or everyone feels like they lost, or if you can't resolve a problem, then you try to punish folks by getting your own way or even bringing lawsuits or these kinds of things. But that's just not what scripture calls us to do. And he starts with just kind of reflecting on a few passages that really frames our mindset on how to view conflict, especially when it just seems like resolution isn't coming. So the first one, is love your enemies, and that's from Luke chapter 6. I'm going to read a few verses here, starting at verse 27. Jesus says, but I say to you here, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. And then verse 35, But love your enemies and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. And your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High God, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. And then he also points us to 1 Corinthians chapter 10, verses three through five. Oh, that might be the wrong reference there. 1 Corinthians 10, 3? 2 Corinthians, there you go. I'm like, that's not the right one. It's a typo. I mean, I love that one, because it's all about redemptive history and how to read the Old Testament. All right. For we walk in the flesh, we are not raging, we are according to flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not flesh and blood, but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God. I don't know if that's the reference I was looking for either. But it does remind us that we don't use the world's methods to solve our problems. And why we don't do this is because we are not of the world. We are born again and born of Christ. And he points out that our identity is found in Jesus Christ. And as those whose identity is found in Jesus Christ, our approach to conflict and reconciliation is fundamentally different than the world's. And he says, this is our identity in Christ is our motivation. He's got this on page 248. He says, Paul realized that a true peacemaker is guided, motivated, and empowered by his or her identity in Christ. This identity is based on faith, the most amazing promise we could ever hear. God has forgiven all our sins, and made peace with us through the death and resurrection of His Son, and He has given us the freedom and power to turn from sin and conflict, to be conformed to the likeness of Christ and to be His ambassadors of reconciliation. It is a realization of who we are in Christ that inspires us to do the unnatural work of dying to self, confessing sins, addressing others' wrongs graciously, laying down rights and forgiving the hurts, even with people who persist and oppose or mistreat us. And it reminds us again that our weapons are spiritual weapons. And he references also the fruit of the spirit in Galatians chapter five, verses 22 and 23. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no flaw." And so, this is the context for his instructions here. As we put these things together, that we don't approach conflict and solve conflict like the world does. And if someone is still, not reconciled to them. Perhaps you don't think of them as our enemy, so to speak, but they are, but we're not reconciled. Well, we basically kill them with kindness. We love them. We pray for them. We don't use the methods of the world to try to get what we want. And we do this because we know who we are in Christ, and that's forgiven. And we think of the grace given to us, and we want to breathe that grace out to others. and rely on God to exhibit these characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit, especially with those in which we have a conflict. And so these are the biblical principles, is abandon the approaches of the world and adopt these principles. And then what he does, and how we'll spend most of our time on this, is he points to another passage, Romans chapter 12. I think this was our law reading last week. Romans chapter 12, verses 14 through 21. I'm gonna read these. You may wanna turn there and leave this passage open probably, I would say, because then he's gonna give us almost a verse-by-verse advice on what to do and how to move forward when reconciliation is stuck or it seems like it's just not happening. So he's kind of just applying Romans 12 here. So this is Romans 12, 14 through 21. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be high, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, So far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God. For it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For by doing so, you will eat burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with Good. All right, so he just runs through here and gives us advice, and I think it's really helpful advice. The first thing he does is apply, speaks of the tongue, Romans 12, 14, bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them. And so he's speaking of how we should use our tongues. And this is on page 249. So this is what he says, and the more intense the dispute becomes, the more important it is to control your tongue, citing Romans 12, 14. When you are involved in prolonged conflict, you may sorely be tempted to indulge in gossip, slander, and reckless words, especially if your opponent is saying critical things about you. But if you react with harsh words or gossip, you only make matters worse. Even if your opponent speaks maliciously against you or to you, do not respond in kind. Instead, make every effort to breathe grace by saying only what is both true and helpful, speaking well of your opponent whenever possible, and using kind and gracious language. Those are important guidelines. Speaking whatever is true, but not just true, But what also is helpful, helpful to resolving the conflict. So someone may say, hey, so and so is talking about you, and here's all the things I said. And you want to set the record straight, right? And by saying true things, you want to defend yourself. I would encourage you to think. I might be ready to say true things, and I'm not going to try to think them in a bad light. But if I do this, is this also going to be helpful toward resolving this conflict? The answer is probably not. It probably will not be helpful to talk about them to someone else. And also to speak well of them. You're trying to think the best of the other person. You're trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. So, the first thing you're trying to do, even when you're really hurt and upset, is you're trying to control your tongue. And if you don't, you know that that just kind of inflames the situation, and then it actually gives the other person a justification, right? See, I told you so. See, I told you their offenses are genuine. See, I told you they're mean, or whatever they are. So, big apps to control our tongue. The second thing he points out, he's looking at Romans 12, 15, and 16, where he says, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, live in harmony with one another. Essentially, it's not a direct application, but he's noticing that you can't apply those verses if you're alone. He says it's difficult to do a battle against evil alone. And so you want to seek godly advisors. He says this is why it's important to develop relationships with people who encourage you and give you biblically sound advice. Friends should also be willing to correct you and admonish you when they see that you are in the wrong. See, we can talk ourselves into almost anything. Actually, our spouses, because they love us, are really good at this. Like, we can go home to our spouse. and say, hey, this is what happened at work. Can you believe this? And your spouse is going to be on your side. Oh, that's so awful. We know we're supportive and they kind of get riled up on our behalf, right? Well, what we need is not someone that will just reaffirm us, but we need some godly advisors to where we can seek advice and counsel. And because it's very possible that our situation isn't resolved because there's some sin that we have that we haven't been able to see. Well, we all need, you know, like a Gina in our lives to point that out to us, right? Yeah. So everyone needs Gina on Speed.com. No, but we need godly advisors. We need people that will be brave. Thank you for being our brave example. will be brave and tell it like they see it. They might see something that you don't. You need someone like that in your life to say, and I have friends like this that do it for me and I do it for them. They call and You know, pastoral friends call, you know, they complain about stuff in their, like about their sessions in their churches and whatever, you know, and that you need a good friend to say, that's what you signed up for, or you're acting entitled, or you think it's supposed to be different there than somewhere else, or, you know, helping them, hey, think the best of. Like everybody needs people like that in their lives. So seek godly advisors. Next, Applying Romans 12, 17. Repay no one for evil, but give thought to what is honorable in the sight of all. He says, keep doing what is right. So no matter what they say, no matter what happens, just keep doing what is right. And he has a nice example here of John and Karen on pages 251 and 252, where John and Karen John was seeking to continue to do right, even though Karen was seeking to divorce him. So here's just one example of what this might sound like. It says, I've seen many others who resolve to keep doing what was right, even in terrible, painful situations. When John's wife, Karen, divorced him and moved in with her high school sweetheart, John was devastated, especially when his church refused to do anything to try to save their marriage. But he drew on God's grace and resisted the temptation to give him to self-pity or bitterness. He refused to criticize Karen, especially in front of their children. He bent over backwards to accommodate their ever-changing visitation schedule. Most of all, he continued to pray for Karen. And whenever they talked with each other, he asked God to help him speak to her with genuine love and gentleness. After about a year, Karen and her boyfriend were fighting continually. As she compared his behavior to John's on feeling kindness in the face of her betrayal, she began to realize what a terrible mistake she had made. With great trepidation, she asked John if there was any chance they could get together again. To her amazement, he said yes and suggested they start counseling with the pastor at his new church. Eight months later, their children had the joy of seeing their parents renewing their vows and reuniting their family. Whether Karen came back to him or not, John's decision to keep doing what was right honored God. His behavior was also a powerful witness to his children about the love and forgiveness of Christ, and he later learned this example helped some other divorced people respond to their ex-spouse graciously, even though none of them came back. As John showed, doing what is right, even in the face of unjust treatment, is always the safest path to walk. So that's not a guarantee that if you are always doing what is right, that in this world, there's always going to be some kind of reconciliation and whatnot. But you always want to keep a clear conscience, right? And this is going to lead into something else in just a minute here. I'm not going to get ahead. But there's comfort in that. There's comfort in knowing, like, look, this person was awful to me. They were terrible. They hurt me greatly. But by God's grace, I did everything I could. There's gonna be some comfort in that as well, even if the situation is never resolved. Which leads us to the next one. D, recognize your limits. I think this is really important for all of us. It says, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceable with all. So the point here is to realize that you are not God. You are not the Holy Spirit. You can't make sure, no matter how hard you try, if they see their part in the conflict or their sin. You can't change their mind. You, in your own strength, cannot bring about reconciliation. Sometimes, well, oftentimes, when reconciliation is slow or not happening, you just have to be comfortable that the Lord knows, and the Lord also knows what He's doing and when He's going to do it, and you have to trust that you are not the Lord. And then thank God that you're not the Lord, because you do a terrible job, right? And trust Him and His timing. On 2.52, just a few things He says about this is, you can do all you can to be reconciled to others, but remember, you cannot force others to do what is right. If you have done everything within your power to resolve a conflict, you have fulfilled your responsibility to God and may stop actively trying to solve the problem. If circumstances change and you have new opportunities to seek peace with an opponent, you should certainly try to do so. In the meantime, however, it's not necessary or wise to waste time, energy, and resources fretting about someone else who stubbornly refuses to be reconciled. If you've done your very best, to follow all the steps in the book, and look at your own sin, and craft your confession, and try to engage, and be patient, and all these things, and even maybe seek the help of some others, and it's just not working, and it's been a long time, and it's been exhausting. If you feel in good conscience that as far as it depends on you, you've done everything that you can then essentially he's advising you, be comforted. You've done everything you can. Give it to the Lord, move on. You can stop your active attempts at reconciliation. Or you can sit and wait, and perhaps the Lord will bring someone around, and you'll have another opportunity to re-engage later. But sometimes when we're involved in a conflict, it's all-consuming. And it really affects us when we lay down, when we wake up, when we're driving the car, and we're really consumed with it. It's hard not to be when there's not peace in some part of your life. Well, if you honestly have done everything that you can, and your trusted advisors feel that you've done everything that you can, and they're just still not interested, you should consider moving on. That doesn't mean you're not hoping for reconciliation later. But you can move on. You don't have to keep at it. What does this look like? Here's one way this looks like, advice that I give to people, especially that are really estranged with, usually it's like a sibling for some reason. For some reason, the sibling really thinks the other one's awful. And I know this other one, and they're not perfect, but they're not awful, right? And they've tried really hard to reconcile. And I say, you know what? It's okay for you to stop calling them and trying. If you wanna keep letting them know that you care, just send them a birthday card and a Christmas card. You know, just a contact. Hey, I love you, still praying with you, still praying for you or whatever. You know, it's okay sometimes to stop and just trust that the Lord is going to do something with that. So you need to recognize your limits. And then as you recognize your limits, then you can also have a measure of peace. Because whether or not you're successful in reconciliation is not whether the problem is solved or not. That's not your measure of your success. Your measure of your success is was I obedient to what the Lord has called me to do in this situation? And if the answer is by God's grace, sure, I wasn't perfect, but yes, in general, I was obedient. And you can take comfort in that and praise God for his work in you. That's what's successful, is you seeking to breathe out grace and to look at this as an opportunity to serve others, to glorify God. That's how you measure your own success in conflict. And that's on page 253, by the way. He ends this section recognizing your limits, saying this. Instead of taking justice into your own hands, respect and cooperate with God's methods for dealing with people who persist in doing wrong. Sometimes this may involve church discipline. In other cases, it may be appropriate for you to pursue litigation. We've got some appendixes on that. But this part, I think, is really helpful for us. In some cases, however, all you are to do is wait for God to deal with people in His own way. Although His results may come more slowly than you desire, they will always be better than anything you could bring about on your own. So I think it is important for us to recognize our limits. And I find that really helpful. When we've honestly done everything that we can, we just have to give it to the Lord and wait. And that's kind of hard. But the alternative is to continue to have it consume you and your thoughts and every emotion and everything else. That's not what the Lord wants for us. So, I'll let that one sink in a little bit, and I'll give it time for comments and questions in just a second. Just wanna run through these, and then we can do that with the time that we have left. Let's see, this is the last one. Use the ultimate weapon. Romans 12, 20, and 21. If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him something to drink. For by doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. On page 253 is where he starts talking about the ultimate weapon is basically being deliberate and focused and doing good for the other person. He says, instead of reacting spitefully to those who mistreat you, Jesus wants you to discern their deepest needs and do all that you can to meet those needs. Is there anything you can do to help that hurting person that's within your ability? Then do it. We can always certainly pray. He says, Paul's reference to burning coals on his head indicates the irresistible power of deliberate focused love. He said, ancient armies often used burning coals to fend off attackers. No soldier could resist this weapon for long. It would eventually overcome even the most determined attacker. Love has the same irresistible power. At the very least, actively loving an enemy will protect you from being spiritually defeated by anger, bitterness, and thirst for revenge. In some cases, your active and determined love for your opponent may be used by God to bring that person to repentance. So how do you get there? How do you get to a place where you can actually, when you're just crushed and hurting, right, or really, you know, just struggling with this person, how do you overcome evil with love? How do you care about their best interests? Well, all I can give you is a tip that I use to try to at least get my heart there, you know, because this is really hard to do, especially the worse the offense and sin against you, the harder it is. Right? But essentially, I just think about, I try to think about them and their spiritual life. What must their life be like? What is it like for them to wake up every day and hate God or hate life or to think that they always must be right? Or they're so hard-hearted that they really don't have any good relationships in their lives because they just wreck them all like they've wrecked mine. how lonely that person must be. You know, it's only by God's grace that I haven't treated people the exact same way, because whatever they did to me, apart from the Spirit of God, I have that in my own heart, and even worse, and I may even have been worse. So Lord, I might not have it in me to actually talk to them or do something kind for them, but Lord, give me a heart to see how much they need you, Lord. And let them find it. Find them, and let us be reconciled. It has to go something like that. That's what he's getting at. And that's hard, and that's the work of the Holy Spirit. And one thing that he said is also a combination of what someone else said to me once. is I was just talking about this, had a young man that just always was floating around and said he was interested in the things of the Lord, but really just wouldn't listen to anyone's advice. I mean, he was really frustrated, right? And I worked with him for years and years and years. And Sandy echoes this, but a friend of mine said, you know, the Lord may have placed that person in your life for your sanctification, not for his. There might be some people in our lives that are so hurtful and so hard, that the Lord might have them there just so we grow. Maybe, we need to consider that. But these are the kinds of things, and over time, just try to be obedient to the Lord, be consistent, don't respond in kind, and perhaps the Lord will allow you to win over your enemy, and reconciliation will slowly occur. So that's his advice. in summary of just what to do when peacemaking fails is to overcome evil with good. And he's got some diagnostic questions you can kind of go through on page 257. The whole summary of the book, by the way, because you're like, wow, I have to use this whole this whole book for every conflict. Like how? That's not even possible. If you look at Appendix A, starting on page 263, you'll find the Peacemaker's checklist, and all the things that we learned in summary form are just listed. So you can kind of get to the part that you need a little more quickly. So you can also use the tools in this book. Before I end with our extra credit on your outline, you can see there, It's a lot of hard stuff in this chapter, good things. Any thoughts, comments, or questions about overcoming evil with good? Yeah. I think the question of the chapter is, have I done what the Lord requires me to do, and therefore do I need to let this go for now? And that can be a very hard thing to come to grips with what it doesn't mean. I know that you were saying this, but I want to make sure people... It doesn't mean, have I done everything perfectly all throughout? It means, have I sought to be faithful? And so, when I know I've done something wrong, I've sought to repent. Right? That would be an important part. Are there things that I, in this process, have done wrong and I haven't repented for? Well, that would mean I have a bit more to do, right? But if I sought to repent for it, for the things that I am knowledgeable of that I've done, then my faults in the process are things that I've sought to handle correctly after the fact. And then I can say, OK, that's done for now, meaning I've sought to do what I should do, right? real challenge of this, it can be that you're just festering over the other person's sin. It can be that you're festering over the fact that you're not being given an opportunity to fully address your own sin with the other person, because they won't listen to you, or won't listen when they talk to you, or just argue, or it makes things worse. And so, you're like, It's not working. I'm not being given the opportunity, or the Lord's not blessing it, or whatever. But you have to give that up also. You have to say, have I sought to do what the Bible describes, what the book is describing from scripture to address my faults in the matter? And have I done what the book describes and it's just as impasse. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to have been perfect to say I think I've done biblically what I can do. Right? I do need to have thought through and sought to repent of the ways which are sinful. So it's not a perfect record that says, OK, now we're done. It's a good faith effort. And that sometimes we have to essentially say, Lord, I'm not you, so I can't make the effects of my sin or their sin go away. All I can do is use these tools. And then I have to just leave the matter to you and see whether or not you will do something further. Recognize our limits. and have I been obedient? And if after all that heartbreak and effort, the answer is yes, then we need to let it go. And by letting it go, it doesn't mean we necessarily overlook. Again, we're giving it over to the Lord and trusting that He will deal with it how He sees fit in His time. That's good elaboration. Any other thoughts on overcoming evil with good? If not, we're going to go to the extra credit. All right. Well, I'd be happy to talk about these things more. The only other thing that I would say is that it was a session. We want peace and purity in Christ's church, for sure. And we're gonna be using these tools ourselves, and we have used them already. And these are the kind of tools that we would be directing you to use and trying to help you use. So, if you need to come to us with some conflict that you've done everything you can, you've gone to the person, you feel like you're kind of at your end, our advice will be, not read chapter three or whatever, but it will be along these lines. So we're gonna continue to use this as a tool just in the life of this church. And so that leads right into my extra credit question here. These are lines from a song, letter C. The song goes something like, where do we go from here? Which is the way that's clear. I'll stop. That peaked at number five on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1974 and was covered again by what do you call those soap opera star Michael Damian in 1989. What is the title of that song and who sang it first? Still looking for that blue, no one else to cheat. Baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen. Nobody? Were you like 15 when you learned that? Well, I heard Michael Damian sing it, and then I realized it was a cover. I had the Michael Damian record, you know, because this girl I like was watching the soap opera, so I watched it. All right, it's called Rock On by David Essex. All right, with that, Jim, would you close us in prayer?