Welcome to the preaching ministry of Tri-City Baptist Church in Chandler, Arizona. Our desire is that God would be magnified through the preaching of His Word, and that Christians would be challenged, strengthened, and edified in their personal walk with Christ. for the last several weeks we've had a series that Pastor Ball has done titled Matrimony Matters and covering really five key passages in scripture dealing with marriage, God's plan and purpose for marriage and through this we had made question cards available in case there were questions. We had that basket on the desk and had a number of questions come in, some very good questions, really some challenging ones. And so we thought doing a panel discussion this evening would be helpful. So I have asked, of course, Pastor Ball to be part of this panel since he stirred all of this up. I've asked Pastor Nathan to moderate for us. He's the president of our college. He's an Air Force chaplain dealing with marriage issues quite often. And so I've asked that he would moderate. He has taken those questions, we've had them typed up, taken them and kind of consolidated into various categories. So he'll be able to deal with those. And then I've also asked if Pastor Malone would join us. Pastor Malone and Pastor Lehrer, if you would come up at this time. And Pastor Malone has pastored in Philadelphia in Minnesota with Pastor Mrs. Malone were saved later in life and so going through some of the challenges but the truth is in any marriage there you've got two sinners living close together and so in dealing with these let me just mention there's a number of questions and so we're going to look at those but there were a couple of questions dealing with parenting And we're not going to get to those this evening. I'm planning, Lord willing, to take next Sunday evening and kind of wrap up and maybe cover a little bit of that as well. But we're going to try to cover some of the questions that you have turned in this evening. So we'll let Pastor Nathan moderate this and we'll just have a seat here on the platform. I would just make a couple of comments about the questions. First was the comment Pastor Ken just made. which is anything related to parenting and marriage is gonna be pushed to his sessions. And then secondly, there were just really good questions. And so we collapsed some of those questions into one questions if they were about a similar topic or theme. And I thought I would also mention that some of the questions that came in were obviously specific about maybe problems or issues in a marriage. So I told Bethany she would have to ask those later at another time. No, seriously though, looking at some of those, it was a reminder that there can often be troubles in marriage. And some of those troubles in marriage can be things that we wouldn't answer or be able to answer in 40 minutes in a panel discussion. And so it was just a reminder to say that we do have skilled counselors and pastors that would be willing to help with some of those issues. And so if you don't hear your question or it wasn't worded exactly the way that you thought and you would like to get some more biblical counsel, I just wanted to remind you that those things were available. So I thought we would start with an easy one. Well, none of them were easy. But here's one to start with. How should a married couple relate to their respective families after they are married? What's a good expectation for relationship with the in-laws, with siblings? Give us some counsel. What does the Bible say about that? We'll start with Pastor Ball on that question. Well, we talked about this from Genesis. We pointed out the fact that a new family begins. And I think one of the biggest struggles sometimes that happens, sometimes in a marriage is, and it can be both ways. It could be that the kids don't really want to make that separation, or that the parents don't want to have that separation. And that always leads to difficulties, because it is a new family. Now, obviously the relationship does not end. You know, a child is still your child, but they are now an adult. They have a new family. If it's a daughter, she's under the headship of her husband. And it is, you know, it's hard sometimes for Christian parents to make that break. But it should be a good relationship of friendship, of respect, of honor, still honoring your parents. But not as it was as they were in the home, following an obedience. Yeah. Pastor Ken. Oh, Pastor Ken? Did you say Pastor Ken? Yeah, Pastor Ken. We're just going to go down the row on this one. Well, the passage that was covered in Genesis talks about leave father and mother and cleave to one's wife. And there really can't be the cleaving until there's leaving. And the leaving does not necessarily mean geographical. You can live next door and have that leaving or be a thousand miles away and never truly have left. There's a mental, there's emotional leaving that has to take place, but it's really that now the spouses' ideas, opinions, practices, needs, wants take precedent over parents or any siblings. And so we've established a new home. And so there has to be that focus. It might also mean that there has to be an aspect of resolving past problems as much as possible, or forgiving, getting rid of the bad attitudes that may be toward parents or siblings. Because if there's that kind of a problem, it's gonna be very difficult to leave emotionally. I would echo as well Genesis chapter 2 and 24. I've used that in counseling as a pastor and so therefore that needs to be that emotional, physical, spiritual separation that does take place. There's a new institution, a new social setting or order as established with marriage. But on the practical end, yes, there's still a relationship with, let's say, when my parents were alive, as well as my wife's parents. And so this is what we did, if I can make a little practical point, because I've always had a good relationship with my in-laws, so it was very easy for making the transition. But we established times when we would get together, like we might choose, which holiday we would be with my parents and which holidays I would be with her parents. So we set kind of an order in our relationship to maintain a good connection with our parents as well as our siblings. When it came to tension, We broke down it this way that, Claudia, you gotta deal with your side of the family. I'm gonna always be very supportive, but you've got to resolve if there's a tension that takes place there, and I therefore dealt with any tension that occurred on my side of the family with her support as well. So that's kind of how we did it on a practical level. Again, the first 11 years I wasn't saved, but as I reflect back on what we actually did, praise the Lord it did have some consistency with Scripture, and of course that's what I counseled as a pastor. Obviously, the primary application is family, but I've seen college students, after they get married, their friends sometimes have trouble with that new priority that that couple has. So friends need to be respectful of the new marriage and the new family that exists, too, and not try to interfere. Let's go, the next two questions really deal with the husband and his exercise of authority or the lack of exercise of authority within the home. So the next two questions are gonna focus on husbands in particular. So here's the next question. How does a husband exercise authority in the home without being domineering? And then does the fact that the husband is the head of the home mean that he is responsible for any of the problems or the hardships that might arise within the home? So how do you exercise authority without being domineering? And then as the head of the home, are you responsible before God for any of the challenges that might come up in the home? Anyone wanna start? That's a big question. I would begin just by saying that it is obviously the example of Christ that we're following and the responsibility of the husband primarily to love his wife. And so I think that loving leadership, true love, and demonstrated makes it much easier to have your leadership respected. If you are a bully, if you are just obnoxious and just trying to boss your way around, that builds resentment and that just continues to lead one problem to the next. So I think, first of all, it has to begin with that real, genuine, loving headship in the home. Yeah, I agree with that. And leadership doesn't necessarily mean that all of a sudden I'm jumping out of the gun and taking the bull by the horns and trying to lead my wife. I think the leadership really kind of begins with a conversation about where are we going? What is gonna be our goals and purpose as a relationship? And from there, our establishes goals and objectives and who's gonna do what. And to say that, I always look at it in terms of leadership. If I have to say that I'm the husband, the head of the house, or I'm the leader or the manager in the organization, I fail. If I had to make that type of statement, and of course with servant leadership, loving leadership, there is gonna be the desire for your mate to wanna follow. And good leadership has good followership. The success of most leaders is as a result of the success of a wife, or success of someone as a support within an organization. So that success as a husband, as a leader, has a lot with having a great wife, which I do have. I should get some points. I would say you did. You got points. I would say the passage that Pastor Ball covered last week in 1 Peter 3, verse 7, husbands likewise dwell with them in an understanding way, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. There are several things there, dwell in an understanding way. And as he mentioned, we hear you can never understand a woman. Well, you don't have to understand all women, just one. your wife. And so there's a companionship, there's a togetherness, there's a thoughtfulness, the contemplation, there's really the chivalry as the weaker vessel and the aspect of protection. And then the tenderness and the example of Christ. And I think that's the first part of that, of the leadership. The other part of the question was the responsibility. And obviously we Each person is individually responsible for their choices, but as husbands, we do have a responsibility and a culpability. And I think if you look back at the situation in Genesis where Adam and Eve sinned, that Adam sinned after Eve. Eve ate first, then gave to her husband. But when God came, he called for Adam. He said, Adam, where are you? And there was a culpability in his leadership that yes, you know, Adam blamed his wife, Eve blamed the serpent, God judged the serpent, there was judgment on the woman, but the judgment on Adam was twofold. And it was because you have listened to your wife when he was supposed to be leading and have eaten. So there is an element of culpability that we need to seek to lead, but there also has to be the followership, and as Pastor Malone mentioned, there's a partnership there. So this idea of, is this a biblical statement, what I'm about to say, that a dad, a husband, is going to give account to the Lord for his family, would that be a biblical way to think? I agree. I think so. We are accountable for the calling that God has placed us. It doesn't always mean that everyone in the family will always do everything right. Just as in the church, the bride doesn't always do, you know, follow the leadership of Christ. But there is an ultimate responsibility to be to use godly authority to lead by example and to lead in a godly manner so that that example is there. I would say that the key is that our faith has to work at home. If our faith doesn't work at home, it doesn't work. We can put on a facade to others. We can come to church and give one appearance, but does it work at home? And that doesn't, as Pastor Ball mentioned, doesn't mean everybody's going to respond. Each individual will give an account for himself, but we will give an account for our leadership and was our faith real in the house? I was thinking of the admonition to pastors or the qualification of pastors in 1 Timothy 3 is that they have their house in order and that they have faithful children. And I know there's different interpretations what it means of faithful children, but there's at least an indication of the father is held responsible, even if the kids have a vote, there is some responsibility and accountability for that. Let's go to the other side of the coin there. So the first question is a husband utilizing his authority, but maybe in a domineering way. But what about a situation where the husband is really being passive, not taking the spiritual leadership in the home, or even in rebellion, maybe they're not passive, they're really in rebellion against God in the things that they're doing. And especially to, what is a wife supposed to do in a situation like that? If the spiritual headship is not hers, but that's really not being addressed by the husband, is the wife supposed to step in? How would we counsel a wife in a situation like that? Well, the passage in 1 Peter 3 addresses that. And it's interesting there that it does not tell the wife to be the dominating force and to take charge, but it highlights the meek and quiet spirit, the faithful respect of her husband, honoring her husband, and seeking to follow his leadership, even when he may not be leading, but not taking over and taking charge, but quietly, meekly, and following the Lord and ultimately, hopefully, eventually her husband's leadership. I think in light of where, in terms of Scripture, where the wife can have a profound impact on her husband. Let's say we're talking about maybe an unsaved husband or rebellious husband, just by her chaste conversation or speaking in regards to her life. When her life is really evident of the Lord Jesus Christ, it can have a profound testimony and effect on the husband. And I speak that in terms of my own personal life in light of my wife's salvation and the 11 years that we lived and I was not saved and the challenges that she had with me but in terms of her life and as Pastor Ball mentioned of the fact that not usurping and trying to take over the home and leadership, but demonstrating, as she mentioned to me very well, in terms of how she wished us to be even a better wife prior to her relationship to the Lord. What she did in terms of leadership, I might say the point of leadership, is taking our kids to church during that period of time, during those years. in which I was not saved. The same thing in terms of counseling. If one spouse is not, let's say the husband is not faithful to the Lord, then I would say yes, you've got to step in and take your children to the house of the Lord and worship and to hear the word of God. I would concur because I think there's a parental responsibility. I think of the illustration in scripture of Timothy. It says that from a child he knew the sacred writings. Well, the indication in scripture was that Timothy's father was not a believer, but he was taught by his mother and his grandmother. And so there was a responsibility, but it takes wisdom and discernment. And also if the husband is maybe not as strong a spiritual leader. In Philippians it says, you men help those women. And sometimes the women are more aggressive in that, but the danger is usurping the responsibility. And I have seen husbands who were trying, and frankly, their wife was a little further along spiritually and would step over them. And so for them, it was like, well, why bother? If he's not taking leadership and he's a Christian and he knows he should be, I have told ladies in counseling, you know, biblical submission is ducking so that God can slap your husband. There is a sense of getting out of the way and letting God deal with him. But God doesn't always deal in the same timeframe we might desire. And I think that's sometimes the frustration. And don't forget to pray. I mean, you know, the Bible speaks to the fact that be anxious for nothing, but everything bring really our concerns to the Lord. It's just amazing what the Lord does in terms of working things out providentially that are just amazing, even to the point of ducking and getting whacked in terms of making changes in your life. If I could stay just for a moment on this topic of husbands and the use of spiritual authority in the home. Let's say there's a young husband, maybe new to marriage or young in their realization of their role as spiritual leader in the home. Maybe they've been married for a while and they haven't really been doing this, but they want to do it. Could we give a really practical idea of how a dad, a husband, could start to really demonstrate spiritual leadership. What are some first steps that could be taken in a really practical way? Well, obviously first steps would be being faithful in church and leading the family there. But I think in the home, leading the home in prayer and reading a scripture. Maybe something just as simple as Maybe it's after breakfast, or maybe it's a time after dinner, or maybe before the kids go to bed, being the one who leads, instigates that, leads in that, and demonstrating the leadership, demonstrating the Godly example there. There could be some areas in terms of service in the church that can take place. I can again remember as a new believer, taking our family, my kids and of course my wife, and being involved in certain ministries in our church that certainly helped me to grow as a new believer in the Lord as a step for spiritual growth and leadership in the home spiritually. Yeah, I think starting in the home, it may be, if it hasn't been done, and say, you know what, the Lord has been dealing in my life, this is something that I need to step up to. That humility, God resists the proud, He gives grace to the humble. And say, but I, you know, let's have a time of Bible reading, of prayer. I think that's vital for our homes. That we can't, You know, we can't outsource the spiritual training of our children to a school, to a Juana, to the church. The church is here to help the parents, but that we take that. And finding a time that works, maybe it's after breakfast. For us it was supper, that our family would usually be together at supper and we would take a few moments after supper and read scripture and then pray. I would say keep it brief. that you don't want it to become the drudgery. I remember as a child, my dad would do this and I wanted to go out and play. I wasn't real spiritual about it, but it wasn't long, it wasn't drawn out. I was talking with somebody once, he started about 10 o'clock at night in doing devotions with young children and it's like, that's just going to be crazy. They're going to hate it. I said, it needs to be short, it needs to, to be personal. When our kids were younger, it was shorter. When they became teenagers, we read through Proverbs regularly because Proverbs is dealing with all sorts of issues. And it would be amazing how something that happened that day or something that happened at school just so happened to come up in the section we were at. And the Holy Spirit can use that. But using that, starting to say, you know, let's do this together. If the husband hasn't been leading, to ask his wife to encourage him to pray. Not brow beat, but to be that encouragement that we would develop Christian homes where that's kind of the normal part of our family. I think that with sometimes family devotions can be, you know, the idea of I've got to prepare a 45 minute exegetical homily for my family every day. And I think once we simplify it just a little bit, one of the things that we do in our family when we read scripture is just read a passage, read a chapter, and then everyone just picks a verse or makes an observation out of what we read, and then we pray and then that's it. It doesn't take long and it's not hard. You don't have to even prepare ahead of time. Growing up the most impactful thing I think on me growing up was that time every every morning after breakfast we always Read the daily bread my my mom would read the daily bread and my dad would read the scripture and and we pray. It was very short, very brief. Neither of them were, you know, trained biblically, I mean, trained in seminary or, you know, had a lot of Bible training, but just faithfully did that. And it made an impact on all of us in the family. Okay, so we had a couple of questions here that are really about what happens when things get sideways, when things aren't going well in a marriage. And so we wanna just handle these with some practical counsel and advice. Again, this is one of those where we took some of the questions and kind of collapsed them together into some topics. But here's our next question. What should a Christian do when the challenges in a marriage feel one-sided? For instance, when maybe one spouse's past, and maybe the drama, maybe the sin and the pain in their past, is really, it seems to be having an outsized influence in the marriage. Or for another example, when perhaps one spouse is very aware of some of the critical issues and is really seeking counsel, wants to go and maybe talk to pastors and get some biblical counsel, and the other part of that marriage is not willing to do that. This is something I've just experienced often in marriage counseling where, you know, I'll meet with the wife and she'll say, well, it's all my husband, and then it just feels so one-sided to her. And then sometimes later you'll talk to the husband and it feels all one-sided to him. So what do we do when things really feel out of whack and the problems really seem to be with one spouse or the other? What's the next question? It's not easier. It's not easier. I would say one of the things to always realize that where sin abounded, grace abounds much more. And these are difficult situations. And again, if one person is seeking help, another one's not, we don't always know why. And we don't know, again, what's going on in the home that's like, why bother? I'm gonna be viewed as the problem. But I think recognizing that God's grace, the grace that brings salvation is the same grace that sanctifies. It teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires, and it's the grace that gives us patience. And so I think sometimes the problem is there's a lack of patience. If he doesn't respond now or she doesn't respond now, well, the Holy Spirit works at a different pace. As Pastor Malone mentioned, making sure we're praying. We can only do what, you know, deal with us as much as lies in you. But do right in that. and to make sure the responses that sometimes it's like, well, you know, blowing up and then say, but I ask forgiveness. Well, if you keep ripping the Band-Aid off, the wound's not gonna heal. And you can't just say we're moving on. And so we have to look at what is the big picture? What are the real issues? And kind of focusing on that. It's a difficult question to answer generally because often there are very specific concerns here. But certainly seeking out, let's say if you've got the one partner that certainly is looking for help or support or direction or whatever the healing that needs to be done is to seek help from the pastor. And again, all of us I'm sure have had the one individuals that come to us and with a certain type of problem where it's only one. But I always felt that still was an encouraging step because perhaps from through that, at least through that, a way in terms of how healing can take place once things are, at least you're trying to determine what the core issues are and try to get the other spouse into counseling. So typically, in most of my, at least my experience, it has worked out fairly well. Oftentimes, I think about situations where I've done counseling, it usually is one who comes uh the one who's experiencing the most pain or the most frustration is the one that comes and maybe the other spouse will and it's not always I mean sometimes it's the man sometimes it's it's the lady so it's it's not always just the the man who's the stubborn one sometimes it's it's the wife where there's issues she doesn't want to deal with things um I think there's a couple things to think about one is our timing is not always God's timing and you know we want things done now we want the situation corrected immediately. And as I think Brother Malone mentioned, let's not forget the spiritual dynamics here. That God is working through us, through our prayer life, through our obedience to Christ. If we need to get help personally, talk to someone, get counsel, that's wonderful, that's great to have someone who's encouraging you, praying with you along the way, and tell that other person who's willing to confront the issue and deal with it. But it's our responsibility just to be as faithful as we can and trust God and look to Him in that situation. And I do think that's where realizing that God is also working in us. He will use those difficulties, those trials to make us more like Christ. So even if the spouse doesn't respond, and I have seen it on both sides where there just is a stubbornness or an unbelieving spouse that is not interested. But that individual can still honor God. That has to be ultimately our goal, that my goal is not first and foremost to fix my marriage. My goal first and foremost is to please God. Because if it's to fix my marriage, I can't do that necessarily. But I can please God. And one of the lines that I use often in the military in marriage counseling, as you said, Pastor Ball, sometimes I'm just talking to one half of the marriage. And so I might be sitting with this man and he's telling me all of his wife's problems. And one of the lines I'll use is, I don't counsel the empty chair. In other words, often that person sitting there, they want me to share with them all the things that their wife should be doing in this situation, but their wife isn't in the room. And the reason I make that statement to the person is the way forward is for you to handle your responsibilities before God because you're the only person you can control. And you need to focus in on what you need to do in the face of this challenge. And so I think that's an important part of that. It's so hard to control what the other person does. and yet I have control over what I do in my marriage and to make sure that I'm doing that responsibly before the Lord. And so that one-sidedness is often something that we see. What about in that counseling context when the, and we've touched on this a little bit, but when one spouse is willing to come to counseling, the other isn't, is there a way to counsel a marriage to only one side or do we have to have both people there for it to be effective in a counseling situation. Well, I think both of them need to really be there, but I think you brought out a good point as well as Pastor Endeen. The fact of the growth and the one individual's relationship with the Lord becomes preeminent in this situation. I think it's very difficult if it's only just one, because you already brought it out. How can you counsel an empty chair? I think that's a good illustration. I would say ultimately for the marriage, it really is best to have both, but if you can help one person respond in a godly way, so if it is the wife, that by that meek and quiet spirit without words, and sometimes it's working through, okay, how do you respond in this situation? Because in a marriage, we learn how to push each other's buttons. We know the strengths and weaknesses. And so, okay, how do, if this happens, what is a godly response? And sometimes it's doing the proactive working through, okay, let's talk about this situation. When does it happen? How does it happen? What should you say? What should you do? Instead of throwing the dishes across the room, what would be a godly response? And sometimes it's just very practical. How do we work through this? that maybe the spouse then sees, you know what, there's a difference. And I'm not getting the response I did, I'm not getting the words I did, I'm not getting the yelling and screaming, and all of a sudden they're open to coming. And I've seen that happen as well. There's a reminder in reading some of these questions that our marriage vows were not made for the sunny day, they were made for the day of adversity, right? And I've often asked in counseling, has the marriage ever been better? And that's a trick, by the way. Yes, it has been better. So you're saying that this is worse. Yes, this is worse. And then I'll just remind them gently of the marriage vows, for better or for worse. And so sticking through, because divorce feels like an easy out. It feels simple. And it's just a reminder that obeying God is still the best way, even if it appears challenging and difficult. The best path forward is still the path of obedience and faithfulness to the Lord. I would say I learned a long time ago in counseling, if somebody comes for marital counseling and they say, I would never divorce my spouse, to me that's a red flag, because they're already thinking about it. And I learned it the hard way. The first ones who said that ended up divorcing, and I thought, it's already in their mind. And they're trying to convince themselves and me that this won't happen, but they're looking down that road. Okay. Well, let's come to this question. What should someone do if they realize that they are unequally yoked? Maybe they thought that the person was saved and they discovered later that they were a fraud, that they were pretending, or maybe someone just made a foolish choice. They were a believer, they really weren't heeding the counsel of God's word, they got into a marriage, now they realize through the preaching of the word that marriage is not a Christian marriage, they're unequally yoked. Can God forgive this? Or is this marriage just a sinful marriage and they're kind of just stuck in a desperate situation? So what about that? And there was a question that kind of attached to this. What happens if I get into the marriage and my spouse really changes? Once I get into the marriage, they're not what I thought they were. Or now I realize, I have a friend who married someone that gave a profession of faith, was very consistent in church and so on, and now he believes that she probably is not a believer, and I think she's even saying that now. What do you do in that kind of a circumstance? I think it's the first Corinthians 7 passage that deals with that in pretty much detail. And the basic advice he gives is you stay in the state that you are in because the unbeliever is sanctified by the believer in that marriage. And it's not a justification to say, oh, well, we'll break up the marriage then because they weren't a believer and know what you are. And you committed to that before God and before others that you would you would uphold that vow. I think that probably was a very common problem in places like Corinth where people usually, in most cases, what happens is it's the other way around where you have two unbelievers and one gets saved. And sometimes they're wondering what to do. because they don't want to stay in that marriage. Because I didn't marry this, you know, holy roller and then, you know, all she wants to do is go to church all the time or read her Bible and she doesn't let me do the things I want to do. But Paul's counsel was if the unbeliever is willing to stay, then you stay. And you'd be a light and a testimony in that home. If that spouse that you thought was a believer is now living in a way that you don't think is a believer, well, again, You're the only light in that home. They especially need that light now. And as long as they are willing to stay in that home, then I think we have a responsibility to be there and be the testimony and to be the light. That is absolutely so true. And again, I will just choose my own life. And I can just tell you, if your wife, and I'm speaking as a husband, is not living for the Lord, I mean, I was just looking for that which was fake, temporary, anything that I could really kind of sense that my wife's testimony was not authentic and not real, but it was. And that life is a living testament. And if the unsaved or the saved spouse is certainly living for the Lord and determined ultimately that her husband or husband his wife seeks desires to be saved it's it's living it's living rightly it's living according to the Word of God it's being faithful in worship and in life I'll tell you and you know I'm a living I'm a living result of my wife's testimony during the some real rough years for her But yet, being very, very faithful to the Lord. And so, it's all boils down to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. I think it's real, it's evident of what can take place. And I think having Pastor Malone on this panel, because he is the living testimony of this question. You know, if there's an unequal yoke, if you knew it, then ask God's forgiveness. If you didn't know it and that person changed, well, there's still gonna be God's grace. I tell people that the marriage you are in now, as long as it's legal, monogamous, and biblical, you know, heterosexual, it is God's will for your life. And so we need to make that work. And it may be that the mission field is very close. Here's an unbeliever. We need to show the light of the gospel. Well, God wants the gospel there. And so 1 Corinthians 7 says that person is sanctified. They're set apart. It doesn't mean they're saved, but they are set apart for special attention. And so we have a wonderful opportunity there. I think David Harvey in his book, When Sinners Say I Do, says grace is the teacher turned coach to assist us to run toward God. And I think especially in those situations, we need to avail ourselves of the grace of God. I would say to take this a little bit further too, I do think, especially for those that are single, to be careful. Just because somebody says they're a Christian, make sure that you're not allowing your emotions to lead. Do they have that character? And I read a statement, somebody said that dating is kind of like going through the cafeteria. You're going down the line looking at things and you don't really want anything, but you know you have to pick something before you get to the cashier. No, you don't. It's better to be single than wish you were. And those aren't the only two options. But I say this because we've got a lot of college students, we have single people, and mature manhood and womanhood is not contingent on being married. Neither is personhood. Jesus was the perfect man and he was unmarried. And he also said there will not be giving and receiving of marriage in heaven. The Bible in 1 Corinthians 7 celebrates singleness for service of the Lord. And so I think we have to be careful, and I say this because all of us that are married were once single. So we think we know what it's like. Being single at 18 is different than being single at 28 or 48. And so don't put unbiblical, undue pressure on our young people. You don't know if it's God's will. God has a gift of singleness. And so don't make them feel like they're second-class citizens. And don't settle. And recognize that God is sovereign over who gets married. We can trust Him. And those who are single can trust Him. Those who are married can trust Him. We also trust Him with children. And God doesn't always allow that. And I just think this is an area that we need to be careful that we don't assume because of our situation and when we're happily married and we're joyful in what God is doing that we assume everybody else has to be like us. No, God has different plans for different people. Yeah, the reminder that you can't go back in time. The past is unchangeable and the future is uncontrolled. We can't do anything to secure the future. but we can live for God today. And that's the best pathway forward to pleasing God and to having and walking in his will and achieving his purpose for us and for our marriage. And when God redeems a marriage, and turns it to His purpose, it brings great glory to Him. So as you can see, we had a lot more questions, and time goes quickly, and we are right at our time. So I wanna go ahead and close us in a word of prayer, and then to just remind us that marriage matters, and that if there are anything, anything that our team, our pastoral team can help with, that we're available to help. So let's close our time in prayer.