Wretched Radio begins in three, two, one. We've had 35 resurrections of the dead. The closer they are to freshly dead, the easier they are to resurrect. So I see this giant angel, and I asked him his name. It's a financial company, and I realized this angel's here for our finances. And that's a true literal story, by the way. These people are charlatans, and it's about time we draw a line in the sand and stop fraternizing with the wolves. It's time for Wretched Radio with Todd Friel. I was being sarcastic, which is another big word you'll learn in school. What's the word on the street? Loidereo. You heard me. The word du jour, which is also the word of the day, it's delicious, I think I'll have it, is loidereo. This is Wretched Radio. If you haven't brushed up on your Greek vocables as of late, Nevertheless, you might know what the word loitereo is if you happen to be one of the increasing number of men who lives with a reviling woman. That's what loitereo is, to revile. It focuses on the verbal aspect of mistreatment, using speech as a non-contact weapon against another person. to revile is to strike another person. Hey, that's Paula White. Strike and strike and strike and strike. I got to tell you, I think if you're a Christian nationalist, we can see you're gaining traction with Paula White leading the faith office. Okay, that was a little cheap. Nevertheless, to revile is to strike another person. It's harsh, arrogant speech. It has a tone of condescension. Reviling speech often resorts to mocking ridicule and insulting language. Why is this word important for us to know? Because it appears the number of men who live with a reviling wife is on the uptick, uptick, uptake. It's growing, is what it is. Received an email from a David Edding, my buddy Dave. That's just, I just call him a buddy Dave. Eddington, sorry about that, brother. He's a Pahit. You could use a vowel, but I think it also means that he's smart. He's a biblical counselor. He's been doing it for a couple of decades. He's the founder and the executive director of Compassionate Counselors. It's in Phoenix, Arizona. He's also the preaching pastor at Christ Community Church in El Mirage, Arizona. How do you know if you actually live there? in El Mirage. Nothing from you, Jimmy. That was a dad joke. If ever I heard one. Nothing from you. That was good. Boy, was that, that could have been, you know what? That was Lloyd Arao. You just reviled me with your condescending speech is what you did. See what I did? He wrote a book called The Abusive Wife, ministering to the contentious woman. And it is his claim from this book that he sees an awful lot of men who live with a reviling wife. And by the way, not just with their tongue do they abuse, but physically? I know he writes in here, you know, you think that a woman who would be physically abusive, she's got to be big and bulky and tougher than the guy. Well, no, because when a woman goes about the business of striking physically her husband and the authorities are called traditionally, he's the problem. And they just can't imagine that a woman would do that. Based on 20 years of experience from this biblical counselor, it is possible. In fact, he says it's about half of the cases that he sees. It's not just accusations against men being abusive, it is accusations against women being abusive. Statistically, that's higher than the stats that I just read. In an article in the Christian Post, abuse has been mischaracterized as women's issues. 41% of women, they say that they have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. 41%. That's shocking. Guess the number of men. If you said 26%, you're right. I think the number is one in seven. It's somewhere between 10 and 15 percent of cases of physical abuse, women abusing men physically. And that's a part of the focus of this book titled The Abusive Wife. But it's more of a presentation of a woman who is contentious. One who is filled with strife, the one who goes about the business of dismantling and destroying her own home, and it seems appropriate at this moment. Considering the era that we live in, to remind you ladies, we talk about the men regularly and our issues. So this is, this is the lady's turn to talk about some issues that probably aren't being talked about much at church. So we're going to dive into this book titled The Abusive Wife. for those men who are living with a woman who is a loiterer, a reviling woman. Husbands, writes Edginton, husbands often retreat rather than fight back, or eventually they give up fighting back. They become passive rather than lovingly, gently, and graciously trying to lead his family. This book is loaded with, he changes the names of course, but it's just loaded with anecdotes, true anecdotes of individuals who have experienced what this book is after, and that is the abusive wife. Over and over again he says, to those of us who don't have a reviling wife, you can't imagine how hard it is. But I think we can. Jimmy, have you ever been in any sort of discrepancy with Mrs. Hicks? Well, discrepancy, yes. That's a good way to put it. And how joyful is it in your home when you two are at it? Even if it's been years, you remember the feeling. Oh, yeah. It's awful. It absolutely is. And then you go to work and it's like, it just doesn't feel right. All right. Well, that's for some of us the exception. It appears for many that's the rule, and it's heavy, and it's hard, and everything is a complaint. Nothing can be done right. The person is always toxic. You're abusing me. You don't understand me. You're fighting with me. You're arguing with me. And according to this book written by this man with 20 years of biblical counseling experience, of course there are times when men are jerks. We accept that. But there are many times when it is a woman who is a reviler. And over and over again in the book, He describes a woman who thinks that anytime the husband disagrees, that means that he's against her, that he's fighting her, that he's being selfish, that he doesn't care about her, simply because he says, you know, I think I like the blue car better than the red car. That's all it takes. And the reviling woman goes after him with a vengeance, mostly orally, but sometimes physically goes after him. And I couldn't help but think that really reinforces an observation that I've made now for several years. And it started with Lupriolo. Dr. Priolo and his wife Kim and Mrs. Friel and I were having dinner. Mrs. Friel asked Kim Priolo, who also was involved in her church, and she hears, obviously, what is going on in the counseling world because her husband was so much a pillar of the biblical counseling world. She said the number one trend in the church is the women that want to get divorced because they believe that their husbands are toxic. Now you combine that with the autonomous self worldview that I believe is cultivated constantly by social media by being able to have the whole world in your hand. You've got everything right there and you custom design everything for your preferences. That means you only consume that which pleases you and stimulates you. Enter a husband who says, I think I like the blue one better than the red one. And that's all it takes. Because I believe, and I think that this goes for women and men, but we're talking about the ladies right now. Ladies are told constantly that you are the center of the universe and you are the one who makes the decisions and everything should be pleasing to you. And anybody who disagrees with you does not affirm every single thing that you think is wonderful. Then that person needs to be cut off. You need to end that relationship. In fact, I don't know if you heard the Transform podcast from this week. Greg Gifford, he's talking about AI counseling, artificial intelligence counseling. For real, we knew that. And he said in order to do research, he went on to the, whatever it is, the AI or whatever, the open AI, whatever these different, there's different ones that exist. I can't recall which one he went. It's like counseling AI. with over 8 million questions having been asked to counseling AI. So people getting wisdom from a computer, that's a bad idea. And he asked the counselor, a AI counselor, should I divorce my wife? That was it, out of the blue. Hey, should I divorce my wife? And basically the response was, the first thing you should do is sit down and have a conversation because it's very important that you understand each other. And sometimes this can really help things to get better. But if that conversation doesn't bear that fruit, then yes, maybe it is time to consider a divorce. without knowing any details. Why? Because the world screams at women and men, you are the center of the universe. And guess what? That's causing a lot of problems in a lot of Christian homes. We'll continue with the abusive wife, the Lloyd O'Women, next on Wretched Radio. Life doesn't come with calm storms. Sooner or later, the storm hits, and the world says the answer is boundaries. Build fences, keep people out, protect yourself, but the Bible never tells you to construct walls. Instead, it teaches you to anchor yourself to truth, to wisdom, to the unshakable foundation of God's Word. That's where the better way with Libby Glossen comes in. intelligent talk radio for women, like no other podcast out there. Always thoughtful and no self-help gimmicks, no fluffy cliches, just practical biblical wisdom that cuts through the noise and makes a real impact in your life. If you're tired of the feel-good messages that don't hold up when the storm comes, it's time for something different. It's time for The Better Way with Libby Glossin. Real truth, real wisdom, like no other. Because in a world full of compromise, there is indeed a better way. Perhaps you've been wondering, is there a Christian university that isn't woke? Or that hasn't compromised on important biblical doctrines like, you know, the age of the earth? There is. It's the Masters University in Southern California. Beautiful campus, all of the athletics and activities that you've come to expect from universities. But it's more than that. The academic programs are most excellent, preparing students for the future. The Washington Post just said, number six for preparing students for the real world. All that, plus the master's university isn't woke, and it is thoroughly biblical. Would you If you'd like to learn more, I encourage you to visit the Masters University at masters.edu slash wretched, masters.edu slash wretched. Ever feel like you're watching the culture shift beneath your feet? You're not alone, and you're not without allies either. At Fortis Institute, we've assembled a powerhouse team of biblical voices to help you navigate these challenging times. From Tim Challies to Brad Bickney to Adam Tyson and Greg Gifford, our fellows deliver daily content that transforms confusion into clarity. Whether you're tackling marriage challenges, parenting questions, or personal growth, Fortis Institute is ready with biblically grounded wisdom. We're not just offering commentary, we're providing a comprehensive toolkit for living boldly in an increasingly complex world. Through our daily podcasts and video content and live events, we're equipping believers to stand firm without wavering. And if you want to be part of something bigger, join the Fortis community today. Visit fortisinstitute.org and discover why thousands are turning to Fortis Institute as their trusted source for biblical wisdom. Because when the world seems to be turning upside down, we remain steadfast. It's Fortis Institute, where we're standing firm and standing together. Important dates in Christian history. 1830, Charles Finney's urban revivals begin and introduce techniques that decisively affect later mass evangelism in America. Finney's innovations included the anxious bench, a forerunner to altercals, and the use of emotional manipulation to elicit a decision for Christ. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel. That is the sound of a reviling woman. This is Wretched Radio. The proverbs describe a woman who is, let's be charitable and say, rather difficult to live with. A foolish son is a ruin to his father and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain. Oh. This is Wretched Radio, the abusive wife ministering to the contentious woman by David D. Edgington, biblical counselor for the last two decades, identified what is an unspoken issue inside of the church, and that is the issue of the abusive wife, the reviling woman, and that he is seeing an increasing number of cases where the woman is the abuser. It can be physically, it can be verbally. Nevertheless, it makes life very hard for husband and for children. It is like a drip, drip, drip that never ends. It's better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. It's better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelless wife. That's Proverbs 21.9 and Proverbs 25.24. No peace while you are in the presence of a reviling woman. And the man, in response, typically, sometimes engages, sometimes poorly, but regularly retreats to the corner of the house. The husband climbs to the pinnacle of the roof of the house, the furthest part of the house, so that he can just escape the drip, drip, drip, And it's common, writes Edgington, for modern husbands with reviling wives to retreat to their workplace, to their man cave, hobbies with their friends, nights out with the guys. It's better to live in a desert. than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman, Proverbs 21, 19. This is an issue that probably does not get discussed a lot these days in Christian circles, perhaps because of the pressure by society that men, we're the owners of all things toxic and cruel and mean and contentious. and abusive, it appears we don't have that market cornered. Now we own pretty much the whole market, but not all of it. And there are a lot of women who could fit the descriptors of Proverbs, the contentious woman, the reviling woman, the woman who's never happy with anything and who just fights about everything. And inside of this book, He gives some examples that are, he said, you're going to think that this is crazy, but what often happens in these houses is that the woman will turn a little thing into a massive thing, totally upsetting the apple cart, making the home a dreadful place to live, where kids, they stay out longer because they just don't want to be underneath the roof with a contentious mom. This book is designed to address that. and to actually bring it out into the open and discuss what it is like for people to live in a house with a contentious woman. And then it offers hope for that husband and for the wife, what he can do. This is a hard situation. I think it was a number of years ago, I was speaking to a biblical counselor about this subject. And his take on it was, and he was very experienced, was this is a tough one because there's a root of bitterness that is deep inside of the heart of a reviling woman and to get it out requires Holy Spirit work. Proverbs 27, a continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike. To restrain her is to restrain the wind, or to grasp oil in one's right hand. This is a tough one, dude, if you're in it. And if you are, let me give you a word of encouragement that no doubt you need to hear. God wants you there. God wants you in this home. This reviling woman is your ministry. It ain't easy. This book offers hope and help in that regard. But this is your calling to help this woman because she's a continual dripper. She's quarrelsome, angry, irritable, contentious. These are all the words to describe the reviling woman. Incessant scolding, brutal treatment. It's impossible to stop her reviling speech. as impossible as stopping the wind or oil between your fingers. Proverbs 12, four, she who brings shame to her husband is like rottenness to his bones. So we don't need anecdotes. We got the Bible and it tells us a contentious woman is rough to live with. And if you're hearing this, madam, and you're asking the question, am I a reviling woman? That's not a terrible question to ask. Obviously not every woman is a reviling woman, obviously, but many are. And perhaps in this discussion, maybe, while you don't qualify for the abuse of reviling woman per se, if you have any tendencies in this direction, Where your husband, if he ever says anything, and it doesn't matter how much sugar is on top of it, that it bugs you, if it differs with your opinion, that's kind of the theme of a reviling woman. She's never happy with anyone. Kid comes home and all he's ever, he's only ever received C's and he comes home with a note in his hand because he got a B minus and he's thrilled to pieces. And what does the reviling woman do? B minus? Huh? You know, if I got a B minus, I would have been smacked. You know, I just don't even know where you got your stupid It must have been from your father. That's a reviling woman. Never happy with anyone. Proverbs 14, one, the wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. She's like a living disease, rottenness to his bones, engaged in persistent contention. She creates such an atmosphere of unrest in the home. that the home literally cannot survive. That's life with a contentious woman. And in this book that was written by David Edgington, the abusive wife, He cites a number of reasons for this. I personally believe one of the biggest reasons is social media, how it feeds one's autonomy and one's desire to have everything. It's like everybody has OCD about themselves. It just, it needs to be in perfect alignment. And if it's not... Because I've been told over and over again, even when it doesn't tell me verbally that the world revolves around me, that's the way the world operates these days. And social media feeds, no pun intended, right into that. And a woman who then meets a husband who has an opinion is considered toxic because he disagrees. So I think social media feeds it. But in this book, one of the things, and it's related, is that so many women, too many men also, but so many women are feelings-driven. Everything is about feelings. I feel like this, he does that, and I feel like this. I feel like this when he arrives. I feel like this when he says, I feel like this. And far too many counselors, they will accept the superiority of feelings over facts. Just a word of balance here. There are times when a woman can be accused of something falsely. And there's times when men can be accused of something falsely. We get that, I hope. We're just dealing with an increasing number of individuals who qualify for being an abusive wife. and a counselor who lets somebody say that their feelings are everything and accept that and then condemn the other spouse because they're the one who causes the bad feelings, all that does is lead to increased problems in the home and honestly, usually divorce. Women often say they need their husbands to show them love by listening to them. Books like The Five Love Languages, His Needs, Her Needs. By the way, hey, Jimmy. Yes? Have you heard His Needs, Her Needs? It's actually been translated into Arabic for Islamic countries. Oh, really? Yes, it's His Needs, Shut Up. They perpetuated the myth that if someone has a need, others are obligated to satisfy it. His needs her needs. He needs a good-looking wife. She needs enough money to live comfortably. He needs peace and quiet. She needs him to be a good father. Needs driven. It's imprecise descriptors also, but it leaves the impression that these are non-negotiable desires. I need this! And if you don't deliver it, toxic, bad, and a root of bitterness develops, it grows deep, and it comes out with all kinds of reviling. Need is an exaggerated way to speak of desire. If these desires are not challenged and evaluated, they easily turn into lust. And what's the problem with lust? It means you've got an idol. And it means that you're ready to murder if you aren't pleased, James 4, 1. That if you don't get what you perceive that you need, you'll murder. Now, sometimes that does happen physically. Thankfully, that's rare. But all too often, it is a verbal assault by the abusive wife, which we'll continue addressing next on Wretched Radio. Books of the Bible. Zechariah was a prophet who preached God's judgment, repentance, and the promise of salvation to the Jews returning from exile. He relays a series of apocalyptic visions focusing on the coming of Christ, the final salvation of God's people, and the final judgment upon sinners. Remember that Jesus is the ultimate fulfillment of prophecy. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel. It's not just for men anymore. This is Wretched Radio, courtesy of a book. Wow, is this a rare bird by David Edgington called The Abusive Wife? What? Ministering to the contentious woman, the reviling woman, this is the lady who is upset about pretty much everything, who makes life exceedingly hard for husband and for children. Vacations are never pleasant. Nobody ever does it right. Everybody does things wrong. And it is a strife-filled home. And the Bible repeatedly describes it as being a miserable experience, one in which the man just wants to escape. And unfortunately, all too often does, rather than confronting the reviling woman, which scares men. I think this is a Genesis issue, that we understand that the woman's bent, this is because of the fall, the woman's bent is to usurp the husband's role. And typically the bent of the man in our fallen state is to say, okay, I'll give it up. I don't want to engage because I don't want strife. And when that kind of a man lives with a woman that is loaded for bear with strife, he retreats and he does not engage. And he simply tries to carve out a life where he can get a little bit of peace here and there. And that ain't the way it ought to be. Sir, if you're living with a contentious wife, please don't hear me minimizing how awful it must be. The Bible, the Proverbs are loaded with it. Drip, drip, drip. It's like living with an incessant drip when a woman is just nagging, nagging, nagging, loitering, reviling, being bitter and angry and contentious and caustic and mean. That ain't fun at all. We get that. But I want to encourage you to not give up. She's your ministry. She needs rescuing. And by the way, this book titled The Abusive Wife, it isn't about pagan couples. This is about Christian couples. I was reading an article This was from Christian Post about abuse of women and the number of men who are actually abused. 26% of men experienced sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. And then it went on to say, research indicates approximately one in four women experience severe physical violence from an intimate partner. A statistic that holds true both inside and outside the church? What? Family studies found that in the United States, one in four highly religious couples reported experiencing intimate partner violence in their current relationship. Whoa. There's a lot going on behind Christian doors. Charlie Rich ain't involved, but the church should be. I think about all of these sermons that deal with such trite, frivolous, and silly things when the reality is this type of thing is happening even in good churches. It just is. And none of us should be shocked at this. We are on the fallen side of things, and even though we're being progressively sanctified, the reality is people are just different stages inside of the church, and some of them don't even know better, and they're struggling, and there's some ugliness going on behind closed doors. And these churches that come out with these dopey sermons and these trite, hey, here's how to be, here's how to manage your finances better. Here's how to have more self-esteem about yourself. They aren't doing anybody any favors. We need to be aware that these things are going on inside of Christian homes so that we can help. What are the causes of a reviling woman? There are many. We live in a world where anybody who puts any sort, it can be a sliver, and that's a stumbling block. that causes people to feel like, oh, it's the worst thing in the world because we are incessantly told the world is about you, yummy monster. And we love hearing that song sung to us. We drink it in and we are totally convinced that everything should be in perfect alignment with us. And I have seen that as a problem. I think this is why many people aren't getting married as early as they used to. that they can meet somebody who is a perfectly good candidate for being a spouse, but because he doesn't, she doesn't, or they did this, or she did that. Well, then they just get disqualified because they don't check every single box as defined by me and my preferences. And I think that if you haven't explored that, if you're young, and you have not been pursuing marriage, or you've perhaps thrown in the towel because there's just no good men, there's just no good women. Is it possible that your definition of good is ridiculous and nobody can possibly qualify for that standard? People are sinners. And no, you don't want to marry somebody just because they're a carbon 14 unit. And that's, well, that's enough. I guess I got to get married. Nobody's suggesting that, but the idea that the person needs to be perfect in every regard, it is not going to happen. I digress, but it's the way that I am. And if you disagree with me, You're toxic! Now this was from Greg Morse, to men delaying marriage. A fellow, you've never heard of him, 1525, Wolfgang Reisenbusch. Yep, he was German. He was in a monastery, and it meant that he took a vow to be single, as you would do in the Roman Catholic Church. And he heard some teachings from the reformers, specifically Martin Luther, that a man who's in ministry can and probably should be married. And so he wrote to the then bachelor Martin Luther. And here's what Luther wrote back. And this is for you, young man, if you're not pursuing marriage and you've given up because there's just no good ones out there. This is for you. "'It is said,' wrote Luther, "'that it takes a bold man "'to venture to take a wife. "'What you need above all else, then, "'is to be encouraged, admonished, urged, incited, "'and made bold. "'Come on, dude, if you want a challenge, go find a wife. "'And incidentally, don't let this descriptor "'of an abusive wife frighten you.'" This is the exception. It's not the rule. It's happening too much, but it nevertheless is the exception. And even if you do get married because you did your best and you received godly counsel, and you tried to find a woman who had biblical qualifications for being a great spouse, and she turns out to be a reviler, then guess what? You need to man up, stay in the game, Take your knocks, I know it ain't fun, and help that woman and rescue a damsel that is in distress. You need courage to do that, Luther. Why should you delay, my dear and reverend sir, and continue to weigh the matter in your mind? It must, should, and will happen in any case. Stop thinking about it. Go to it right merrily. Hey, Jimmy? I think that in the future, I'm going to, that's how I'm going to request anything from you. Hey, Jimmy, would you please grab the sound of that ridiculous preacher up in Canada who said that we should stop using the word savior because it'll make women feel bad or Muslims feel bad and go to it right merrily. I'm on it. Your body, your body demands it. God wills it and drives you to it. And the author, Greg Morris, says, what are some of you doing? Stalling, delaying, trifling, prolonging, joy-sticking, late-nighting, fast-fooding, boy-ing. Get on it. Stop being a perpetual groomsman. Never the groom. Ships in the dock. Maybe overthinking, maybe lazy, maybe sinful. The excuses are many, only some of them are valid. For some, adulthood seems like an undesirable destination. So you settle. Sit yourself on the bench. Keep yourself in the shallow end. Bull with the bumpers up. Stop thinking about it. Get merrily to it, as I will get merrily to the descriptor of the abusive woman. And the reason that these women are very, very difficult to deal with, it is because of a root of bitterness. It is a deadly poison. bitterness, it comes from a wound or a hurt or a disappointment, but the fertilizer that gets thrown on it are the counselors and the worldview and the articles and the YouTube videos that say you and your feelings are all that matter. And all that does is feed a root of bitterness. Strive for peace with everyone and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it no one fails to obtain the grace of God. That no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble. And by it, many become defiled. What does a root of bitterness do? It's like putting something toxic into a swimming pool. It just creeps and pervades and ruins it. And that's exactly what a root of bitterness does. Are you a contentious woman? Are you a reviler? Do you find that your house is filled with strife and maybe you are the author of most or even all of it? There's good news. you're bitter. Why is that good news? Because God is an expert in dealing with bitterness. Next on Wretched Radio. Hey, thanks for listening to Wretched Radio today. You know that moment when you're scrolling through your newsfeed on social media and everything just feels upside down? Yeah, that's the culture we're living in right now. But you know what gets me excited? At Fortis Institute, we're not just watching on the sidelines. We've assembled a team of incredible voices who are diving deep into God's word every single day. I'm talking about Dr. John Kratz helping you integrate theology into real life, or Dr. Adam Tyson who is speaking truth into young men's hearts, or Pastor Brad Bigney transforming marriages from surviving to thriving. But here's the thing, while we're standing strong, that's what Fortis means by the way, we need gospel partners who'll stand with us. People who will look at the culture and say, you know what? The church needs more than just encouragement. It needs equipping. We're not starting something new at Fortis. We're strengthening something vital. And so if you're ready to join us in this mission, if you're ready to help us equip believers with truth that transforms, then head over to FortisInstitute.org right now to find out how to become an ongoing monthly gospel partner. Wretched, amazing grace, amazing gospel. the life issue, we cannot disengage from the battle. And there is a way that you can win a life and rescue a soldier who's about to be executed through abortion, preborn.org slash wretched. Ultrasounds still save lives. These pregnancy centers that progressives would love to shut down or arrest people for praying in front of abortuaries, they're still doing excellent work and babies are still being rescued. This is a tangible way to save a life. An ultrasound is $28. 80% of the time, mom chooses life. Want to engage in the battle? This ain't about politics. This is about saving those who are staggering to the slaughter. Period. Preborn.org slash wretched. Preborn.org slash wretched. 25 years. That's a quarter century of standing firm for biblical truth. This is Wretched Radio. Through every cultural shift, every challenge, every opportunity to proclaim God's truth, you've been with us. And for that, you're grateful. What started as Wretched Radio has grown into something remarkable. Today, as part of Fortis Institute, we're reaching more believers than ever before. Our daily podcasts and radio shows, video content and biblical resources continue to strengthen local churches and equip the saints just as we've done for 25 years. But none of this would be possible without faithful partners like you, you've helped us reach millions with the unchanging truth of God's word. As we celebrate this milestone, we're reminded that our mission remains the same, serving the king of kings by strengthening his church. Join us at fortisinstitute.org as we continue this journey together for 25 more years of faithful service. Until tomorrow, go serve your king. Titles of Christ. In the Bible, Jesus is given many titles. and what He has done. Jesus is called the Son of Man. Daniel chapter 7 describes the Son of Man who came from heaven, received worship from all nations, and rules a kingdom that will never be destroyed. Jesus uses this title to affirm that He is fully human and fully divine. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Freon. He can't do enough. He can't be enough. He can't please enough. Why? Because He is the husband of an abusive wife. This is Wretched Radio. David Edgington, a biblical counselor, pastor in El Mirage, Arizona, writing a book. that unfortunately it appears needs to be written and read by a lot of people because there are an increasing number of women who have a root of bitterness and the Proverbs described this woman as being very, very difficult to live with. She tears down her own house with her words and just the aura that she gives off, just that you walk in and it's like, oh boy, I can feel the chill coming off of that woman. And this is the proverbial woman who's a drip, drip, dripper, who's contentious, argumentative, and it makes the entire family want to run away to the far corners of the home or just get out of there altogether. And this book, it is an effort to help, but here's where it gets hard, sir, if you are the husband of a contentious woman. You can try and try and try, and the problem is it's never enough. You just can't do enough, she's never happy. If that describes your wife, chances are you're living with a reviler. And madam, if your husband never does anything right, yep, there's a possibility he could just be a complete and total loser, but maybe it is because you are becoming a reviling wife. And the reason for that attitude that says your husband can't do nothing right around the house, he can't fix things, he can't do, this book, it gives example after example of the things that the reviling woman just gets furious about. He doesn't make the bed right. Don't do the laundry. I don't like the way you fold the laundry. Stop doing the laundry. That's a woman who's never happy. And at the core of it would be a root of bitterness. It works like this. You've been told perhaps by the world and you've had desires that are right and decent and good. I want a good husband. I want them to be somebody that I do life with. Well, then you get married and you realize, whoa, they're a sinner. And if your expectation perhaps was at an idolatrous level, or if your expectation was that everybody exists to make me happy, that person is going to sin and you're going to be disappointed. And if forgiveness is not granted to the individual that is disappointed or sinned against you, guess what happens? That root of bitterness it starts to go down into the soil. And if it doesn't get tended to, and if you don't understand that marriage means you're living with a sinner, and the goal of marriage is to help one another, to not sin so much so that we can glorify the Lord more, play our roles better, run to celestial city together. If you don't understand that's what marriage is about, you're perpetually being wounded and hurt and the root grows deeper and bigger and wider and it takes over and the next thing you know, you're a drip, drip, dripper. Are you regularly upset with your family, madam? And I know, they biff it, they goof up, they... You got teenagers, and what do you know, they can be sloppy. But you're furious about it, you're just mad, and there's very little joy in your life because of the people that you live with, that you've meditated on these hurts and these wounds, and you have grown a root of bitterness. From the book, bitterness is the result of not forgiving others. It's the consequence of not letting go of an offense. It's the fruit of a heart hardened by resentment. Hebrews 12, 15, the root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble. Some describe bitterness as an imploding. It doesn't explode, it just boils up from within. And it doesn't just affect the bitter person, it affects many. What did Hebrews say? Many become defiled because of the bitter person. Exceptionally difficult to be around, like walking on eggshells. Everything offends them. Almost anything you do is an agitation. And when you try, sir, and you try and you try and you try, it's just never enough. She's never happy. You know that if you live with a reviling woman. But if you're a woman and you're still enduring this diatribe, do the people in your house bug you? You might not be full-blown reviling woman, but you're on your way. And you will continue to become more and more bitter as that root grows deeper and deeper. From the book, most of the bitterness I have seen in wives is not due to extreme situations. It's usually over minor problems in the marriage. Here's some examples, you ready for this? This will give you an idea. If you don't, praise God, if you don't live with a reviling woman, but it'll give you an idea. The reviling woman, she knows better about how the husband should lead the family. Or the wife knows how better to fix the broken garage door. And if he disagrees with her, look out. The wife who doesn't want to follow her husband in how to parent the children. He's not stern enough. He's too stern. Whatever it is, it ain't right. The wife, these are examples that he's experienced throughout 20 years of biblical counseling. The wife that says the husband doesn't load the dishwasher the right way. Or the husband makes the bed in the morning after they both get up, but he does it the wrong way. He doesn't put his clothes in the hamper. or he won't listen to her talk while he's watching a football game on TV, which is a bad thing to do, dude, especially if you watch the Super Bowl. Wow, what a turkey that was. Or he doesn't do a myriad of things. He doesn't park his car in the driveway the way that he's too far over. He never hugs the wall enough. Bitterness is present when a person refuses to let go of a grudge. They insist on carrying resentment. I like it. And boy, be careful if you're starting to get bitter or you are bitter. It kind of becomes who you are and you're comfortable there. And you're slow to try to pull those roots up because it's what you know. And you've perhaps grown to actually like it. Bitterness is one of the most destructive and most effective and probably one of the most common weapons of the enemy. And yet the bitter person thinks she is justified in her bitterness. If he would change, then I wouldn't be bitter. Remember, nobody makes you bitter. Nobody can do that. Now they can provoke and they can goad, but they don't make you do nothing. That's on you. The sin that comes out of your heart is already there. They might be picking away at it, but they aren't creating it. They don't make it exist. From the book, And I find so many counselors and pastors who are afraid to confront the bitter wife and hold her accountable for her bitterness. It's a delicate balance as a counselor, as a biblical counselor, because you're confronted with two different opinions, which is why in this book, he says, never counsel separately. It's gotta be together. Otherwise, you're gonna get one side, and typically, you're gonna just have a sentiment toward one versus the other, and then you're gonna accuse the other of, that's just, bring them in together to do the counseling together. When bitterness is repented from, change and reconciliation happens. But when bitterness, unforgiveness reside in the heart, nothing can make that marriage better. It plummets. It becomes impossible for the non-bitter spouse to live in a way that is pleasing to the bitter spouse, never satisfied, harshly judges, and believes it's always right. This might be a test for you, madam. Do you think you're always right? Is he always wrong? Do you find yourself struggling to admit, hey, you're right. Hey, good idea. It would be an indicator that there's some bitterness going on. The good news is forgiveness can pull that bad boy up. That's the only thing that can pull it up. When there is repentance, when there is actual genuine forgiveness, and then the root of bitterness can come up. But if not, It's going to be a miserable life for everybody involved, and maybe it'll even end in divorce. Counselors need to confront women. Counselors need to confront men. I think we all get that. The reviling wife does not permit differences of opinion. The reviling wife is the one who is unhappy with everything, and the biblical counselor must help her understand that's a sin, and that needs to be repented of, and no one is to blame for the sins of another. Repentance cannot be optional for the reviling wife. She should not be permitted to continue on with her abusive behavior without a counselor or pastor calling her to repentance and then holding her accountable to actually become repentant. In other words, to put off the bitterness and start putting on, Proverbs 31. The book is titled, The Abusive Wife, Ministering to the Contentious Woman by David Edgington. Sadly, it appears to be needed. It offers help, it offers hope for the husband that lives with the abusive wife. seeing her as a ministry, a damsel in distress who needs a knight to rescue her and hope for the bitter woman. As she is able to see her own self as a sinner who's been forgiven by Jesus and then is willing to forgive those who have sinned against her so that repentance can actually take place in a home, the bitter root can be uprooted And you can live in a house that is filled, not with dripping, but with joy. It can happen. And until tomorrow, go serve your king.