Good morning, friends. It looks like my watch says 9.31. 9.31. So we will begin. And welcome again to our ongoing class on the Christian family. Before I begin, I wanted to recommend a couple books on the topic, and then we'll pray. If you like to read, which I hope you do, here's a couple books that may be helpful for you. Joel Beeky has a book called Parenting Guide by God's Promises. That is published by Reformation Heritage Books. Useful book. There's another one that I don't have with me, which I think I made reference to last week. It's Ted Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart. That's an older classic. There's another one by Paul David Tripp, called Age of Opportunity. It's about parenting teenagers, their brothers, Ted Tripp. I actually like Ted Tripp's book better than Paul Tripp's book. Not that Paul Tripp's book is not good, but Ted Tripp's book is the classic. Here's an old one also published by RHB. Oh no, sorry, no, no, no, this is Baker Academic. Sorry, Baker Academic, Classics of Reformed Spirituality series. It's called The Duties of Parents. I quoted from it a few times last time, Jacob Kuhlman. Kuhlman was a Dutch Puritan from the Second Reformation period, and he's also worth reading. And then the last one that I wanted to put before you, it's actually a three-volume set, and this one is published by RHB. It's by William Gouge, the Puritan. It's called Building a Godly Home. Holy Vision for Family Life. It has three volumes and they are all useful. You can also get this one online. I know you can get this one online in PDF form for free. Gouge is interesting. The level of detail he goes into, which is not surprising for a Puritan, on the mechanics and advice for Christian family life is quite profound. He talks about all, I think I quoted him in the spring about care of life in the womb, or maybe it was two weeks ago, I can't remember. He says a lot about, no, it was two weeks ago, he says a lot about Every stage of family life and every circumstance, including, yeah, that was a mother's care of her body while she's carrying a baby, the one where she said she shouldn't ride a horse too hard. It's William Goudge's kind of details that he goes into. And then a father, he should take care of his wife with tender care while she's carrying a child. And he goes into details, he talks about how difficult nursing babies can be. He actually has a section on why mothers should nurse their own babies. It's interesting, because in England, in his time period, it was very common to hire someone else to do that if you were of high society, to have someone else take care of your children. He says similar things about servants and parents not teaching their children the word directly. So it's interesting, a little bit of Man of His Times, very detailed, three volumes from RHB. And if you remember Chad and Emily Van Dixhorn when they came, their book, called something on marriage. Gospel-shaped marriage, that's right. Gospel-shaped marriage. They also quote Gouge, because he has a significant amount on marriage in this. So just some volumes for you. Kuhlman is spelled K-O-E-L, man, Kuhlman, Jacobus, and then Gouge, G-O-U-G-E, and then Jobiki, if you want to do some more reading, and Ted Tripp. So let's pray together and get to our class. Father in heaven, For all your gifts that you give us each new day, we are grateful. We are thankful for the regular rhythm of your faithfulness and mercy towards us. Assad family has left Syria. Anyone know who the Bashir al-Assad was? The Assad family has been the ruling family of Syria now for 50 years. And yesterday evening, I saw a headline, nobody knows whether or not the President King's plane crashed or whether he made it out of Syria. There's a whole lot of debate on whether or not he's even alive, but Damascus has fallen to the rebels. And so I thought I would, This week, as I was looking at that unfolding situation, sometime in the week, I came across a video of Bashir al-Assad talking about the degradation of the West. It's a very interesting little speech. And he's talking about it from the point of view of a Muslim, but also as someone who is deeply rooted in Near Eastern patterns of family life. And one of the things he said that was strange about the West is that they no longer believe that children should share the religion of their parents. And he thought this to be an utterly strange concept that families, now, of course, he's Muslim, and we disagree with him on all those things. On the other hand, he was talking about modernism and its effect on the world. And one of the things he talked about is that he thought this idea, he was talking about transgenderism and homosexuality and all sorts of things, He thought that total destruction of the natural order of things was apparent in the West, and he didn't want it in Syria. Now, hopefully he repents of his other false religion. But by the light of nature, he's coming on something pretty obvious, that parents are to teach their children. That all through human history, we've understood that parents and children together, by the light of nature, share a common household. Not only common food, but the Lord willing, a common biblical faith. And what is clear in nature, what this man even with false religion can understand in nature, is truly true under grace. And we just read that from Abraham. God chose him in order that he might instruct his children after him. We read from Deuteronomy 4, this belongs to parents and grandparents. Deuteronomy 6, Deuteronomy 11, Ephesians 6-4, and then 1 Thessalonians 2, 11 and 12, where Paul says that his ministry, was after the pattern of a father teaching his children. In other words, this was something that he could write to Gentiles and they would understand that fathers teach their children. This natural pattern is a pattern restored by grace and should be part of the Christian home. Okay, some things that we should talk about, and that all is just getting us up to speed. It said, first, teaching begins early with the basic concepts of right and wrong. Jacob Kuhlman writes about this. The Bible speaks of two paths, the way of life and the way of transgressors, which is hard. The fundamental task that you parents have is to shape the conscience of your children by the word and to teach children to differentiate simply between what is good and what is evil. As soon as the mind begins to function cool, one writes, the time has come for parents to point out and demonstrate both good and bad, for that is already an inducement for what is good and against what is evil. This pattern should continue in all of life. Now I'm picking up with some new material. The first category is to teach your children the distinction between good and evil. We did talk about also that you cannot articulate to a very young child the concept of the gospel. In other words, I cannot communicate right now to Miriam that Jesus Christ outside of Jerusalem was nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago to atone for the sins of his people. I could begin Maybe familiarize yourself with the name Jesus. She doesn't even, how big of a vocabulary, it's exploding right now. She has enough words to communicate her mind, that's for sure. Which goes back to the idea of good and evil. But I cannot, I cannot, I cannot communicate to her the plan of redemption yet. She does not have the capacity, the vocabulary, the words, or the ability to think in those categories, at least as far as I can communicate. But what I can communicate to her is that there is good and there is evil. And she knows it. She knows it profoundly at 18 months of age. And so I can begin to teach her this pattern and that it should, this parenting of distinguishing between that which is righteous and that which is unrighteous, that which is good, that which is evil, that which is right, that which is wrong, should be taught in all of life. And patterns of Psalm 1. the righteous man who meditates on the wall, delights in it, and the way of the wicked are basic wisdom patterns that you begin to teach at an early age. This pattern should continue in all of life. And we have opportunities to teach this pattern, the way of life and goodness and the way of transgressors, which is hard. I think one of the ways, also from the Ten Commandments, is the Lord's Day. Now, when they get a little bit older, They maybe understand this more deeply, but even Miriam right now is understanding to some degree that there's one day out of seven that's different than the rest where we prepare and go to a place where she can sing. Interesting, it seems all children learn this hymn first, holy, holy, holy, maybe because of the repeated words. but she already has some sense. She folds her hands when I say let's pray. She's 18 months old and she folds her hands and she loves to pray. She knows she has to be quiet for a short while. We have to teach her modesty and kindness and the use of words and not to scream and bite and especially to teach her that she will not get her own way. By screaming, for example, Lorelei and I make a quick end of temper tantrums. They're just not a permitted mode of communication in our home. It's over. And that starts early. No temper tantrums allowed. If you want to ask me how we do this, we'll get to the correction section in a little while. But we have learned early that this is a profoundly antisocial behavior that, if it continues, destroys everything in life. And it just needs to end, and it can actually end very, very early in life. Now, Miriam's working pretty hard to keep it going, and we're working to slow it down. But we know it's, there are certain things, let me stop here, there are certain things that we've come to understand as parents, that if you let it go, It only grows and it only gets worse and sadder. And if you didn't start early, the pruning later is a whole lot more work. And so we like to start very early. That is a lifelong project because we also have teenagers and teenagers and even parents can lose their temper. We all need to repent of this, but we want to teach this early. There's a way, which is not their own way, It's the way that pleases the Lord, and they're gonna have to learn to say no to self. Number two, teach them about the life of prayer. are just categories of teaching today. Teach them about the life of prayer. Kuhlman again, show them that the mother prays for them or other children although they do not know what yet is said or done. Let their hands be folded for them for a short time and be very quiet when something is being prayed for. And again, Miriam is trying to, for a little while she was quiet during prayer. She's trying to push the limits again. But she does generally just fold her hands and pray quietly and sit quietly with us now for Bible reading and prayer. And that's something you can teach very gently at an early age. Even without a significant amount of correction, just do it every day for months and months on end. And some kids will not like it. And some kids will be quick to do it. But you just gently keep going in the same direction. Anyone know what bonsai is? These little trees. Well, that's probably not the right one. That's the other one. What's the one where they carve hedges in trees and make them follow a form? Topiary, that's the word I was looking for. Topiary. You know what, you take a tree and you grow it into a form. Well, it can take years. When you think about parenting, that's really what you're doing. It's a project that's much bigger than one day. Be patient, slow down. It takes years of prayer and service. But these patterns, especially the life of prayer, it is, a child knows already from their earliest age that there is a God from the light of nature. And they can also be taught that they need to pray to God. One of the beautiful benefits of the covenant of grace and the promises of the covenant is that we can teach them to pray and we have warrant to do so, for God has placed his name on them in baptism. Teach them to pray by praying earnestly for them. Once they can speak, let them say your prayer after you, then teach them to pray on their own, and then encourage private prayer. The life of prayer should be taught to young children. And encourage also quiet prayer. Encourage them that they can speak to the Lord at any time during the day or night. In their bed, when they're outside, and that prayer should be part of their life. They should learn to speak to God. Number three, under teaching. Teach them to respect and honor the word of God. And you see we've got right and wrong. Prayer and the Word, these are big, basic categories. You can teach these very early. I've been teaching Miriam about these things, and Laura Lee and I have, for months now. How could you teach a little child to honor the Word of God? Well, simply, just like with prayer, fold your hands. When the Bible is read at home, be quiet. And I would submit to you not to try something, if you hear this in the class today, that you've never tried before and expect results in two weeks. Okay? That's one of the mistakes in hearing a parenting class is you go, oh, no, I should have done that. I'm just going to screw up the pressure. You know, just, no, that's not how parenting works at all. You can't just make a wild turn. However, I have expectations when the Bible is read at home for my family. And the expectation is this, that you, whatever age you are, just sit and listen. No toys, ever, from birth. Now, that means there's a lot of noise happening from birth. Little Miriam's either sitting in Lorelee's arms or my arms, and we as a family all just smile about it. She's just a little baby. Sometimes she makes noises at the most inopportune times. And now that she's got a few words, did I say this last time when I started reading the Bible? If I take too long, she says, pray, pray, because she knows I'm gonna pray after the Bible reading, and she figures that she might as well take the lead here and shorten everything up. And she really does this. I mean, she does. She recommends when I should pray. But why does she do that? She does that because she knows that she has to be quiet. and she wants to run around and play. Now, she's not mad about it. She's making a very, so far, humble recommendation that I pray earlier. But it's because there's an upstream order or pattern, which is this book is read, you just sit quietly. Now, this is why I'm going to be very careful with parents who've never done this. If you think this happens over time, it took us probably 12 months to get there. Okay? So way, slow, way down, just by making it a regular pattern of every time. And part of it is she looks around now, she's growing, and there's a family culture so she can see others. If you have a firstborn, there's no one to watch in terms of other children. But the word is God's word. And for us at home, it's not play time, it's word time. And there's only one category, word. And if you're not doing this, it's a way to begin. You'll also notice teaching them to worship. so that they know that when the Bible is open, that it is time for them to listen. And again, I'll say a few things that I do with Miriam even now. I think it was last night I did this. She was not in a good mood. And it was late, she was tired. And Arlie was running out the door and we still wanted to read something. So I read the first seven verses of Psalm 95 in preparation for the Lord's Day. Very brief, seven verses. And I prayed a very brief prayer. But we wanted to finish the day together in the word and in prayer. Why did I do that? Everyone was tired, and she wasn't gonna make it through a narrative in 1 Kings. She usually doesn't anyways, but she certainly wasn't going to last night. So the whole thing probably took less than two minutes. Why'd I do that? Because I'm trying to be thoughtful about how everyone's tired, but I wanted to be in the Word just for a few minutes before the Lord's Day and pray. And it was a marker, and again, It's part of a pattern where you're accommodating to the needs of the little ones. But she had to abide by the rules for a minute and a half or two minutes. And that's probably all that she could do. Now that's not all we do, but third thing about reading the Word, teach your children the content of the Word of God. Read the Word, the great stories of the Word. I love to read the word and I love to tell the stories of the scriptures. The Bible is absolutely riveting. I mean, think about Elijah at Mount Carmel. I was just reading it again this week. I mean, if you can't, as a parent, take some time to read that story with expression, if You should be able to communicate these things, not just as a rote matter of getting through something. But these are, when Jesus stills the sea or, you know, when Eutychus falls out the window and Paul, like there's so many, the Bible is, the Red Sea Crossing, I'm gonna have a hundred stories, Abraham and Isaac on the mountain. The Bible is so full of the dramatic power of God in history. and stories that bring you to the Jonah and the belly of the fish, to the edge of living and dying and salvation and judgment, and then the resolutions in God's saving power, again and again on every page, that you should have, you have an endless amount of material to teach children, even young children, in a way that teaches them the great stories of redemption. Ultimately, the cross, and the empty tomb at the heart of it all. As they get older, teach them the content of the word of God by catechizing them. And by memorizing the catechism, you can use the Children's Shorter Catechism, you can look that up, or the Westminster Shorter Catechism, and begin to teach them the doctrine of the word. And together, you should be teaching them the word of God. Category number four in teaching. Let me watch my time here. Teach them to sing. Your children should be learning to sing. This is a basic function of Christian life, singing. We've lost it in our culture, I think largely because we run around with headphones and screens, and we don't sing. People just used to sing together. I remember John Van Boris, who's not here this morning, John used to tell me about a time when on the farm in upstate New York, just all the neighbors would come, and you would just sing for an evening, and that was your evening social entertainment. singing, and that people would gather to sing together, just as part of social life. You didn't have technologies for someone else to do it for you, you're not all bad, but sing. All through the Old Testament, the command to sing and to sing a new song is part of believing life, and then in the book of Revelation, you have the entire choirs of heaven, angels and men singing. Forever, it appears, we are to be singing people. Are we to make a joyful shout to the Lord? We are to sing His praises, and this should be part of life at home. Music is built into human life. We were made to be musical. God made us this way. Again, your Bluetooth speaker is helpful, and you can use it to teach a lot of singing, but it's not worship yet. Lift up your own voices and sing, and teach your children singing. Singing should be a pattern of your home. Number four, number five, rather. Teach them and engage in the public worship of God. The highest aim of parenting, you are going to be in the natural order of things, although you may, there are times when in God's difficult providence, a child dies before a parent dies. But in the main, the generations rise and fall, and one day you will be gone and it will just be your children. And the question you need to ask is what is the most important thing that you could communicate to them? What do you want them to be more than anything else? What is your highest goal? And you want them to be worshipers of the one true and living God. You want them to know how to live in communion with God. The categories we've been talking about, right and wrong, prayer, the word, singing, are leading to something. Life in communion with God. and not just the outward forms of the same, but the inward life. And so you're to be praying for the Holy Spirit to take the means that you are using and to make them effective in their hearts. This is not just an outward exercise, but it is to be bathed in prayer with the prayer that both outward forms and patterns of life and the inward heart would be inclined to the worship of God. And this gets back to what I said earlier, one of the ways right and wrong can be set forth is by the Lord's Day. The Lord's Day is also the, I would argue, and the longer I am a parent, and the more I meditate on the Ten Commandments and their place in the history of redemption and the history of the Christian church, you know, the Christian church understood that the Lord's Prayer, the Ten Commandments, The Apostles' Creed, representing a summary of doctrine in the scriptures, that these were the most important things, from the ancient church, and all the way to the present day, that these were the most important things you could give to the next generation. Communion with God in prayer, true communion. Then the Ten Commandments, a life of thankfulness to God. They also teach us that we need a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, and how to respond to him. And then the Apostles' Creed, the great summary of the gospel, but also the doctrine of the scriptures. and that these were the things to be passed on. In the Ten Commandments, the Fourth Commandment is profoundly, it precedes the Fifth Commandment, honor your father and your mother, but it is a commandment given to the heads of households. And it says, take the first three commandments, God alone is the object of your worship, with reverence and awe, and according to his word, actually according to his word, and with reverence and awe. So God alone is the object of our worship, first commandment, we worship according to his word, second commandment, with reverence and awe, his name is holy, third commandment, on a day, fourth commandment, where heads of households are to ensure that everyone rests from the ordinary labor and turns their hearts to God. In other words, that it is the duty of parents, before it is the duty of children to obey, it is the duty of parents to light the path to communion with God. And the Sabbath rest is the picture of the highest form of communion with God. And the public worship of God is the highest expression of that communion. And the road, as it were, is paved, is to be paved and guarded by parents The way to God is to be the central thing that you are communicating in your parenting. You notice I have not yet talked about how to get your child into Harvard, because that's actually not a section in my class at all. We won't get there, but we'll do this. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work, and so far you think this is just a personal command until the next phrase, you nor your son, so the next, next phrase, nor your daughter. All of a sudden you realize that when God's addressing the covenant community, and he's saying you personally, he has in mind the family, because he never doesn't have the family in mind, and he's saying to the parents, you, chart the path to glory, set it before your children in the form of rest, which is what glory is, everlasting rest. And then children, after this, honor your parents as they set the path to glory. Follow them. And so the worship of God and the Lord's Day, and the ordinary means of grace, preaching, and baptism, and the Lord's Supper, and the fellowship of the saints, needs to be at the center of the life of your home. You'll be gone. Another generation will rise up. And what inheritance do you want to leave for your children? We are praying that they would have communion with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit through the work of the mediator and by the power of the Holy Spirit to know the Father. This is at the heart of what it means to be a worshiper, and God's given us a day in order to set that before our households, and that is part of the parent's task. Number six. Teach them how to live as Christians in everyday relationships. Teach them the nature and the practice of Christian relationships. I said this early in the class, but I'll say it again. By modeling a Christian marriage. You can't just use words to teach children. You need to teach them faithfulness and forgiveness in a Christian marriage. You're not perfect. You and I will never be. So there's two things we teach. Hopefully by the love that's in a Christian marriage, we teach them something of the love of Christ. And by our commitment to keep our marriage vows, by a dogged faithfulness and an open-hearted forgiveness. We not only teach the gospel and the pattern of marriage, but we model what it means to be Christians in a relationship. This is the primary relationship at the heart of your home, and you and I all need to be always working on it and guarding it. I'd say a little aside, a friend of mine called me on Friday night, no Friday afternoon, Friday afternoon. And a good friend, an old friend of mine called me to say that his wife had left him. And he was heartbroken. And he had called me a couple months ago, we had talked about it, that it was unfolding and he called to update me that it was still getting worse. And the heartache in this band for himself and for his children was very great. He was also seeking to honor the Lord in ways that I've rarely seen somebody do. I have seen people do this, but it's not common. In the middle of a very bitter sadness, he was willing to love his wife and forgive everything that she had done. Everything. And the list is very long and sad. However, the end of that marriage is going to bring pain and sorrow, if it does end, to children. But guard your marriages, lay down your lives, and I've often said, if it was at this point, your heart is not in it the way it should be between each other, do it for Christ, and do it for your children, and pray for God to revive the heart of your home. Don't break it. This is the way you teach children Christian relationships. And when they see the realities of, again, the pattern, which is inviolable, points to Christ and his church, and the humility of forgiveness and reconciliation when you sin, this is where you teach them, and this is where you bring them joy. Teach little ones, number two, in the relationships, to participate in a way that gives to others and does not take. That gives to others and does not begin by taking. We do this with little Miriam right now, and we ask her to clean things up. She's fairly unreliable, but she tries. And I'll give her something, and I'll say, take it to the kitchen. She might make it to the den and get distracted, but she's getting better at it. It's a lot of fun to watch, actually. I'm not that worried how far she gets. If she starts in the right direction, I feel pretty good already. If she takes it, I feel pretty good. Teach little ones to give in relationships, to participate in your household, to clean up, to maintain order, to serve others. Discipline and correct your children for the harm they cause to others. I do not like physical harm, taunting, bullying, or abuse. If you have boys, there's a little saying, boys will be boys, which is true and doesn't mean a lot yet. If it means I'm going to tolerate their sins just because they're boys, I'm not going to. Settling scores with violence is not a sign of strength, but it's a sign of constitutional weakness. and you should teach your children to be kind to one another. Self-defense in a just cause has turned out to be a rare case in our household. Usually it's a lot of anger. Lying and bullying and unkindness, these things you should discipline for as parents. You should intervene so that at an early age, Any abusive tendencies towards another are warned against so that the little ones that you raise would not be abusive to anyone else ever, that they would learn kindness. And you need to correct harm that is caused to another and teach them instead self-sacrificing love. In relationships, teach them the value of humility and modesty early. not to draw attention to themselves, but to look for how to serve others. The twin and related virtues of humility and modesty also include how we dress, how we carry ourselves, the entirety of our being. We are not to be those who invite attention, but those who give of ourselves to others. Start this young and early with boys and girls. Our culture is bombarding your family with terrible messages. Look at me. The entirety of social media is structured around those words. Look at me. It's not a good message. It's destructive. Teach them the value of truth for all fellowship and friendship. That lying destroys all relationships. That they are, in other words, this little section here is teach them that they're relational beings. Number seven, teach them of an eye for the glory of God in creation. This is a way that you can begin teaching very young children about God, even before they have a great vocabulary. There is a star that's been visible outside of the window at my right hand, where I sit at our table, Miriam sits beside me, and there's one star in the sky that she can see in the evenings, right through the top window pane. And we have been pointing it out to her for months, and she will sit down, and she will just point her little finger out the window and say, star. There's something already there. Lord willing, I'll preach on Psalm 19 soon, and there's something there about that little motion. is because she's made in the image of God and God's communicating his glory and the things that he's made and she can understand some of it. She can see birds on Sam's bird feeder. It's a language that's universal, Psalm 19. And it is a way that you can get your children's eyes off of devices and get them to see directly the glory of God in the things that he has made, his invisible attributes. Eternal power in Godhead, clearly seen in the things that he has made, Romans chapter one. Teach them to look. Children were made for this. They have eyes and ears and a mind and a heart. They're made with the capacity for wonder and discovery. They were made to see this glory in original Eden. It's instinctive. It's an experiential opportunity to acquaint children with the Lord. It's a great antidote to the digital age and its corruptions. Number eight, teach them the basics of the gospel. Interesting fact, I've said it twice now, but I'll say it again, for very young children, you cannot begin with the gospel because you don't have a vocabulary to talk about a cross and an empty tomb and atonement and sin and grace. All the previous categories you will now see are not legal, but why am I trying to teach them? because every one of them is preparatory for the day that I can explain about Jesus Christ and the cross, about sin and about grace, about the God-man, the second person of the Trinity who entered this creation, their foundational for the thing that I am praying for and waiting to communicate to them in its clarity. It's years of preparing to talk about Christ. That's the aim. That's what I'm aiming for. All of the above are possible before the gospel can be clearly articulated, and they're also necessary. There's good and there's evil. There's prayer, there's the word, there's singing, there's worship, there's a God who's worthy to be praised. He places us in relationship with Himself and with others. And He made everything, and He's worthy of our worship. And now we get to He entered this creation to save sinners. Now, that picture, if you're doing all these things, will come slowly. You won't even know when your child has the requisite knowledge to pull this together. You pray for the Holy Spirit to work in all of this, that when they hear it, they will believe it. When they believe it is a mystery. The Spirit was like the wind that blows where it wishes. John 3, but you must be born again to see the kingdom. It's not just the outward use of means. This together with prayer, with the heart of the covenant in mind, I will be their God and they shall be my people, which is predicated on a mediator, Jesus Christ. You do this when you teach them the gospel, when you pray for them, when you pray with them, and then you set before them the importance of trusting Jesus Christ. And you never stop telling them to believe. because believing is an active state in the life of the Christian. It's not a one-time action that you finish. It is the life of repentance and faith that you teach them. Number nine, in all of this, have a gospel orientation, a flavor in the teaching of your children. Sometimes your children will need rebuke and exhortation. And how easy is it to just move to that right away? Stop that, and I have a few children here listening, and they know how easy it is for me to just drop into, and I'm saying it with a smile because sometimes I actually use the phrase, but humorously. I have authority sometimes to say to them, listen, it is nice to be the king of the house, so clean up your room. I'm not ashamed of the office Scott gave me, but you can do it in a way that's not funny and not humorous, where you're just, Angry and always correcting. And if you're a parent, do I see any parents who have fallen into this trap before? You don't have to shake your head. You don't have to raise your hand. I won't do it. Put your head down and raise your hand and alter call for this. I won't do it ever just so you know. But you should know, you should be able to track with me if you're honest with yourself about how easy it is to be impatient and fleshly in parenting. Sometimes your children do need rebuke and exhortation, but parents, I think we could all do better to model, teach, and express love, praise, and encouragement as we teach these things, not harshness. And too many times, I can confess I've been harsh. Charles Hodge, the great Presbyterian theologian said this, Parents are not to excite the bad passions of their children by severity, injustice, partiality, or any other unreasonable exercise of authority. I'll read that again. Charles Hodge, the great systematic theologian. Parents are not to excite the bad passions of their children by severity, injustice, partiality, or the unreasonable exercise of authority. Does anyone know what he might be commenting on in those words? Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. You must speak of Christ and pray to better model Christ-like living. Teach them by example in all of these things. Googe, for you being older in years and more honored in position, of more experience in having a charge over your children ought to be a light to show them the way and an example to allure them. What does that mean? That there should be something in your following of Christ that's fundamentally attractive to them. That they, seeing you careful and conscientious in performing your duty to God, may be more provoked in theirs, or at least their conscience ashamed of their neglect of duty. It's interesting if you read the biography of John G. Patton, the great Presbyterian missionary, one of the things he opens up with at the beginning of that book is that it was the piety and prayer of his father He doesn't actually talk about his correction much. He talks about watching a man who had a devoted commitment to Christ. And that left an indelible mark on his soul. And he decided to give his whole life to Christ as a missionary. There's something here about a gospel orientation and flavor in our encouragements, our kindness, and our character that ought to be at the heart of what it means to be a parent. And again, as Gouge said, they seeing you careful and conscientious in performing your duties to God may be more provoked in theirs or at least be made ashamed of their neglect of their duty. that it would be impossible for them to say, in some way, that my mother or my father didn't follow Christ, but that they do follow Christ, and that that example itself of submission to God, and together with their love, encouragement, and exhortation means I, I'm up against a choice. I either follow them, understanding they're flawed and sinful, in following Christ, or I would have to go another way. In other words, that it would be stark that they would know that the gospel is at the center of your heart life, and you want it to be at the center of your home. So there we go. That's nine things on teaching, and I think we're about at time. Next time I guess we'll get to correction and the expectations we have for correction. I'm sure you're all curious about that category, but we'll get to that next. So teaching. If you would like, if you didn't take notes, I could get you a list of these nine things, but they're called from a lot of different places, from the word, from some of the books I recommended, and the providence of God. I think we're coming up on 25 years of parenting. 25 years, not that long. You grandparents have been doing it a lot longer, but I pray for grace that we would all keep learning. all the way. Questions on teaching. Mr. Ellis. Did you mean to read the scriptures at the beginning? Did I mean to? Well, I did. I read Genesis 18, 19. That's what I meant to read. I think that was just blank. You may have been blank, yes. Good to read it at the end. Yeah. Yeah, last week I read more of them. Today I just read Genesis 18, 19. At the beginning of this lesson, which was supposed to take one week, I read Deuteronomy 4, 9, 6, 4 to 9, 11, 19, Ephesians 6, 4, and 1 Thessalonians 2, 11 and 12. So you get the references again. You can listen online and review. Last week I read them all. Today I just read one and reviewed Genesis 18, 19. But yes, this is from the scriptures. Okay, let's pray together. Father in heaven, we ask for grace that we might teach our children diligently the way. Lord, according to your command, when we sit down, when we rise up, when we walk in the way, Lord, that the next generation would know your mighty acts. And we pray that this work of teaching, of right and wrong, of prayer and your word, of singing, of worship, the glory of your creation, of the nature of living in relationship with you and with others, that this would be part of the fabric of our life. We pray that you would grant to us, especially as parents, the due attention to our marriages, that they might better reflect the glory of Christ in this church and the love and faithfulness that you have for us. And then in all of this, oh God, we would confess our sins and our failures. And we pray also that we as parents would be ready to confess them before you or in our marriages and even to our children, that they would learn to look from us to Christ, the only righteous man, and to find in him forgiveness, grace, and mercy, and to live for your glory. We pray for your blessing on all these things in Jesus' name, amen. Again, you can email or text me questions. Some of you have already for teenagers. But anywhere along the way, feel free to send me a note or pull me aside.