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First question we have is, does
the Bible provide us with a sexual ethic that all image bearers
of God must follow? And maybe you want to explain
why there might be some questions in people's minds whether there
even is a sexual ethic consistent in the Old Testament and New
Testament, but is there one and what is it? Well, the basic assumption
is that there is an ethic that's written on our consciences, which
became the Seventh Commandment when the Decalogue was given.
But the answer to this is, is there proof that there was an
ethic prior to the giving of the moral law besides the Seventh
Commandment? And if you study out in the patriarchal
record in Genesis, Starting with chapter 6, verse 3, the judgment
of God expressed in verse 3 indicates in unmistakable terms the divine
disapproval of mixed marriage. For example, that the godly Linus
Seth were forbidden to marry the ungodly. A second proof is
we have a history of the sanctity that was applied in procreation,
the story of Joseph and the wife of Potiphar. This indicates that
this certainly is a part of religious instruction in the patriarchal
families. And keep this in mind, and I'm
not a textual critic, that isn't my area of expertise. If they had any of the scriptures
at all, some people say that it could have been the Book of
Job, but that's conjecture. So it's amazing that there was
this underlying ethic that you find without even revealed instruction
from the Lord. And going on from Joseph, next
we have the indignation of Jacob's sons when the purity of their
sister Dinah was violated by Shechem, Genesis 34, 5 and 7. That this tradition was not confined
to the Abrahamic family is evident. Remember the case of Abimelech.
Abimelech was a king and he had taken Abraham's wife, Sarah,
and he would have violated her had he not known that this was
Abraham's wife and claimed it was his sister. So even the king,
Abimelech, had in his conscience the realization that he should
not do this. And when God reproved Abimelech,
he said, Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman that
you have taken, for she is a man's wife. Verse 3. And his defense,
if you remember, resided in the ignorance of the fact that Sarah
was Abraham's wife, and this was why he could plead, In the
integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands have I
done this, in verse 5. And God recognized his plea as
valid in verse 6, and this implies that he was fully aware of the
wrong of taking another man's wife. and therefore aware of
the sanctity guarding the marital relation. And this wasn't a Hebrew,
this is a pagan king. As indicative of the measures
taken in the patriarchal period to prevent the dangers and liabilities
arising from mixed marriages as well, we have the steps taken
by Abraham to ensure that his son Isaac would not take a wife
of the daughters of the Canaanites, Genesis 24, 2-4, and also the
charge given by Isaac to Jacob, you shall not take a wife of
the daughters of Canaan. And then there are the laws of
the Pentateuch which prescribe marriage to not be outside the
degrees of consanguinity and affinity, which means that they
were not to marry a near relation, for example, a first cousin. And it is a case of, at Corinth,
where Paul's teaching as well, that one had taken his father's
wife. The woman in question here is
undoubtedly the stepmother. In Leviticus 18, 7 and 8, distinction
is made between the uncovering and nakedness of your mother,
verse 7, and the uncovering of the nakedness of your father's
wife, verse 8. Hence, Paul is dealing with a
case which falls into the category of that forbidden expressly in
Leviticus 18, verse 8, verse 20, verse 11, and Deuteronomy
22, verse 30, and Deuteronomy 27, verse 20. Yeah, good. So it's really important
to see in the Old Testament, even before the law was given
in Exodus 20 on Mount Sinai, there is this consensus among
image bearers of God that there is a sexual ethic, that all God's
image bearers must hold to and live by. And so Tom has just
enumerated a lot of that. And remember in Leviticus 18
and 20, God says that the Canaanite pagan tribes kicked out of the
land because of some of these sexual sins. The land literally
vomited them out figuratively, but that's what the words literally
say. And so even these pagan Canaanite
tribes are being judged and condemned by God because they are breaking
God's sexual ethic found in the seventh commandment. So I think
the Old Testament and New Testament are clear. There's one sexual
ethic. For one, sex is a good gift from God. We should never
think that it's gross or nasty or some necessary evil. This
was supposed to go on even before the fall. is the very means of
carrying out the dominion mandate. But sex is restricted to the
marriage bed and any any sexual activity outside of the marriage
bed and marriage being defined by the Bible is considered sinful
and condemned by God. So it's really as simple as that.
Sex is a good thing, but only in the marriage bed. Anything
outside of the marriage bed is sinful. I think you can kind
of boil down the sexual ethic of the Bible to those three propositions. Well, if that's true, Brother
Tom, how do we understand the practice of polygamy, especially
by Old Testament saints? The sexual ethic is one man,
one woman together in monogamy. What about polygamy? Well, we'll
start with a verse that Peter gave in Acts at the times of
ignorance. Comparatively, God winked at,
but the first recorded deviation from the law of monogamy is the
case of Lamech. And Lamech took unto himself
two wives, Genesis 4, 19. It is beyond dispute that many
good men have been guilty of this sin as appears by what is
recorded in scripture concerning Abraham, Jacob, David, and so
on, nor do we find that they are expressly reproved for it. which has been a stumbling block
to some modern writers who think that polygamy was not unlawful
in those ages, but was afterwards rendered so by being prohibited
under the gospel dispensation. However, we need to understand
that there were many bad actions of good men that is recorded
in the Old Testament scripture, but not approved of nor proposed
for our imitation. Of this kind, we must conclude
the polygamy in having concubines of several holy men mentioned
in scripture to have been that. It may appear that this practice
was not justifiable. We should observe that some sin
or other is often expressly mentioned in the Old Testament as connected
and that came out as a result of that. Thus, Abraham's taking
Hagar was occasioned by Sarah's unbelief because the promise
of her having a son was not immediately fulfilled. Jacob's taking Rachel
to wife after Leah was occasioned by Laban's unjust dealing with
him and his own discontent arising from it. And his going in unto
Bilhah was occasioned by Rachel's unreasonable desire of children
and the taking of Zilpah by Leah's ambitious desire of having preeminence
over Rachel by the number of her children. Again, the practice
was generally detrimental to that peace which is so desirable
a blessing in the families. So that many disorders followed.
So we read of an irreconcilable quarrel between Sarah and Hagar
and of Ishmael's hatred of Isaac, which the apostle calls persecution. And we may notice as well the
contentions which there were in the family of Jacob and others,
the envy expressed by the children of one wife against those of
another. And the opposition which one
wife often expressed to another is that of Penina, one of the
wives of Elkanah. to Hannah the other. It is subjected
that if polygamy was a sin against the light of nature, it is strange
that it should have been committed by good men and that they should
have lived and died without repenting of it or being in the least reproved
of it as we do not find that they were in Scripture. But our
reply is that indeed a sin which they might have known to be so
had they duly considered it in all of its circumstances and
consequences. But this they did not do, and
therefore it was not so great a sin in them as it would be
in us who have clear discoveries of the heinous nature of it.
If we suppose that they repented of all sin agreeably to the light
that they had, they might be saved. This though unrepentant
of was no bar to their salvation, supposing that they knew it not
to be a sin and God's not having explicitly reproved them for
it argues only his forbearance, but not his approval. Yeah, I mean, fundamentally it
violates the creation ordinance of marriage. Yet it was, I guess
we could say it was tolerated, regulated in Old Testament law. Could we also say that it's somewhat
like divorce in the Old Testament, where again that was regulated,
tolerated in this fallen world among God's people as their And
that's why it's helpful to have an understanding of what our
Lord was saying in Matthew 19. He says this wasn't how it was
in the beginning, but because of the hardness of your heart.
So there was some laxity made that way, but that wasn't the
desire of God because God hates divorce. And I think, I don't
know of a single instance or example in the New Testament
where you read about a polygamous relationship. I think the New
Testament is entirely silent on the issue of polygamy. But
I do think there are places where polygamy is explicitly condemned.
I mean, you know, for elders and deacons, they need to be
a one woman man, which I think at least has to do with being
faithful to one spouse, not many. And in general, that's true for
all Christians. First Corinthians 7 talks about
how we need to each have our own husband and each have our
own wife, not multiple wives or husbands. And I think the
analogy of Christ and His bride to us is instructive. Christ
didn't have two brides or three brides or four brides. He has
one bride, the church, and so should we. The point about God
not explicitly reproving the sin, I think that he reproved
it in the consequences. It never worked. And I've got
a feeling that probably a lot of those men repented because
of the pain that they felt as they saw their wives fighting
with one another, ridiculing each other, couldn't get along
together. So, sometimes God reproves us with His Word, sometimes He
reproves us by letting us live with the consequences of our
sin. So, I would say a lot of those men, I think it's clear
that God disproved of polygamy by just seeing the results of
polygamy in the Old Testament. I wouldn't die on this hill,
so. Keep that in mind. But it does seem that with the
coming of Christ and the dawning of the new creation, as Pastor
Ben's already mentioned, with the qualification for officers
in the church, there's a reiteration of the creation norm for one
husband, one wife, and not really any prescriptions provided for
anything beyond that. Though Eve was guilty and not
a hapless victim, Moses nevertheless documented the circumstances
and preconditions of her sin. What are some common circumstances
and preconditions that attend to our remaining sin in committing
adultery? Spurgeon used to have a saying
that sometimes he plowed with another man's heifer. And so
I share my indebtedness to a book by Randy Alcorn, which I've kind
of put into my own words is very helpful here. But first, we need
to understand that we are targeted for it. The devil loves to use
temptations this way to bring us down, especially if you are
a pastor. or a minister of any sort, public
or private, as a teacher, preacher, teacher, helper, or as any kind
of salt and light in the world, Matthew 5, 13 to 16, then take
heed, you are a targeted man. or a marked woman if you're ministering
to ladies. The forces of evil have taken
out a contract on you. There's a price on your head
sufficient to make any bounty hunter salivate. Satan is out
to get you and he will do this by temptations to violate the
Seventh Commandment. Critical fact number two, we
are vulnerable to sexual immorality. All Christians are susceptible
to sexual sin. The myth that we are morally
invulnerable dies slowly, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. And critical fact number three,
we are fully responsible for our moral choices. It's often
said that people fall into immorality. The expression is as revealing
as it is faulty and dangerous. The very term fall betrays a
victim mentality. It sounds as if we were walking
down a street and someone tripped us up or kicked our feet out
from underneath us. It implies that moral collapse
comes out of nowhere, that there is little or nothing we could
have done to prevent what happened. We do not fall into immorality,
we walk into it. Yeah, and I think, you know,
when it comes to our relationship with God, being tempted to commit
this sin, especially as married couples, it can come from just
simply dissatisfaction and discontentment with God's providence in our
lives and his abundant provision in our lives. We just get fed
up with how God rules over us. And we can be tempted to sin
against our spouse and sin against God. I mean, God was the one
who made us one flesh. God is the one who brought us
together. God is the one who gave us a suitable helper. And
ultimately, us being tempted to break the seventh commandment
is to raise our fists at God. and accuse God of wrongdoing,
of giving us a spouse that we really don't like and is really
not helping us, and we're looking to somebody else that God hasn't
joined us together with. So I think we always need to
keep in mind that this ultimately is a sin against God, and it's
a sin of just simply being discontent, covetous, of something that doesn't
belong to us, that God has not said yes to. But on a human level,
when there's marital strife and disunity, that's when you can
see this sin really become a great temptation. When we're not one,
when we're not united, it could be on a variety of things. It
could be as simple as finances, and we can be set against one
another, and we can begin to think, there's somebody better
out there for me, who understands me more, who is better looking. who is more gracious, more talented,
whatever it might be. And so we really need to work
hard in our marriages to stay united on all fronts because
one little breach in our relationship with our spouse can open the
door for the devil to wreak havoc in our lives. Thank you, Brother
Tom, for emphasizing powerfully the fact that the minister and
the aspiring minister has a target on his back. We all know we can
name the men who have fallen into this sin, and many more
pastors whom we don't know their names. But I want every person,
every man in this room, and every woman in this room to know that
the devil would love for you to fall into this sin, and therefore
it needs to be guarded. You need to be guarded very closely,
lest you get a blot, lest you ruin your life, you ruin your
marriage, you ruin your life. It's like the Proverbs warns
us. You don't come back from there, and I'm not saying God
doesn't forgive. He does forgive, but you still
carry scars of your sins. Thank you for the faithful warning,
and may all of us, pastors and non-pastors, take it to heart.
Two things. One, the third bullet point you
brought up with our responsibility, our accountability, that's part
of the sting of crying out to God in repentance is realizing,
coming to the full realization that when we went to this, I
don't know, went to this website or went to this particular place
in town or wherever we did so willingly, We chose to do it. We did not, quote, fall into
it. We did it. And that is just absolutely
critical. First, to get the lesson from
this, don't waste your sin, in a sense. But it's also critical
to magnify the the forgiveness of God, the loving kindness of
God, the tenderness of God, and the way he stoops down to us
and deals with us. But the other thing is those
preconditions that Pastor Joe mentioned. For starters, just
don't go there. Whether you have to put your
family computer right in the middle of the living room or
whatever you've got to do, do it. Leave the phone in a cubbyhole
or in the office or whatever, and don't pack it around with
you all the time. There's just a thousand different things we
could do, but the flip side of that, of course, too, is the
positive work of you can't just go around hacking at sin constantly
all the time and never do any positive work. The positive work
is to attend to those things that make for a healthy, nurtured
marriage. For example, husbands protecting
their wives from strain by being communicative, being understanding,
being listening so that she won't be led astray by some guy in
the office or whatever the case may be. To work on those kinds
of things, even though we are fully responsible and fully accountable,
there are conditions that we can avoid that will greatly aid
that battle against sin. I'm going to skip a few questions
just to piggyback off of what Eddie just said, and so we'll
try to come back to the other ones, but what are some helps
and aids to obeying the seventh commandment for single people
and married couples? Number one, guarding your mind. It is often the result of a long
process in which a mind susceptible to sin is granted unguarded exposure
to immoral thoughts. Number two, And I'm, again, taken
from a book, Randy Alcorn, Sexual Temptation, Establishing Guardrails,
and Winning the Battle. Take precautions with the opposite
sex. We need to be careful where,
when, and why we meet with those of the opposite sex. Do you look
forward in a special way to your meetings with someone, say at
work, for lunch? Or do you cancel appointments
with others to meet with him or her. Do you prefer that your
spouse or co-workers not know you are meeting again? Or do
you feel flattered when seen with him or her in public or
meeting again? Excuse me, any of these can be
warnings of an improper relationship. Number three, discern the subtle
signs of attraction. We must develop an early detection
system to spot moral danger before we are too deeply entrenched
in it. 4. Anticipate and prevent sexual
temptations. It is always easier to avoid
sexual temptation than to resist it. As Joseph ran from Potiphar's
wife, so we must run from the lures, baits, and hooks of impurity. when it comes to sexual temptation. God says, be a coward, 1 Corinthians
6.18. Those who travel with their jobs
or ministries are often subjected to considerable sexual temptation. Home, family, and community provide
certain natural restraints that are removed while traveling,
and so on. And many of us know that this
was part of the reason of a fall of a pastor who was very much
used in her G3 ministries. Michael and I saw him back in
2021 in Atlanta, that he was too much traveling alone. Give me one moment. And I believe,
Pastor, that would go along with this. Could you read question
number seven? Is that the why are we commanded
to flee from sexual immorality? Is that the question? Yes. Yeah,
1 Corinthians 6.18, rather than stand and fight against it. It
is very interesting. Flee from sin. Not stand against
it, not fight it, but run away. In a sense, be a coward and turn
your back on it and run. What's so unique about this sin
in particular that we are called to flee from it? I have a paragraph
that is taken from chapter six of the mortification of sin by
John Owen, and I want to focus on two words in this statement.
First, I'll read it and explain why these two words are so important. John Owen says, some lusts are
far more sensible and discernible in their violent actings than
others. Paul puts a difference between
uncleanness and all other sins. 1 Corinthians 6 verse 18, flea
fornication. Every sin that a man does is
without the body, but he that commits fornication sins against
his own body. Hence, the motions of that sin
are more sensible. more discernible than others.
Well, perhaps he may have the love of the world or the like,
and is in a person no less habitually predominant than that. But this
is such an interesting half a sentence. Yet those sins do not make so
great a combustion, combustible in the whole man. Something about
the temptations to this sin is bringing a flammatory substance
to a fire that causes it to be combustible. Thank you, brother.
I also think it's important. I mean, we need to hear the restrictions
and warnings, but it's also good to think positively about what
the Bible says concerning our relationship to our spouse. For
instance, I think of Proverbs 5, 15 through 20. Drink water
from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should
your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets,
let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your
youth, a lovely dear, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you
at all times with delight. Be intoxicated always in her
love. Why should you be intoxicated,
my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
Of course, there's the warning there to stay away from the strange
woman, but also some very positive teaching, some interesting teaching.
on how we should relate to our spouse. She's like this fountain,
and she is to be the source of all of our sexual delight and
pleasure. She's like this lovely deer,
a graceful doe. And you think about bucks in
mating season, they're very excited and enthusiastic about these
does. We're supposed to be like that.
I mean, we're even supposed to be intoxicated always in the
love of our spouse. which that word at other times
literally refers to people getting drunk. That's not what we're
being told here. But in some ways, we were to
be so wrapped up in the love of our spouses that we have no
time or interest for anyone else. And so I think we need to hear
these warnings. We need to see the guardrails. We also need
to see the broad space that God has given us to enjoy our wives
or wives who enjoy your husbands and to think positively about
this topic as well. Should we go to question five
and six, and that is because this is more relevant for the
type of discussions that we're having in our day. Yeah, so this
question is based off of a question that a church member asked, but
it's, how do I know when a thought or a desire which is forbidden
in the seventh commandment comes from the devil as a temptation
or comes from the depravity still remaining within my own heart?
And I think the specific example was even in our dreams at times. But how do we discern that? And
it could be both, of course. But is this coming from the devil
as a temptation? Is this just something that's
coming out of my own wicked heart to drag me and lead me to this
sin? How do we discern these things,
brother? One difference, if you're Very,
very, ask God for wisdom when you're discerning this. But a
single thought comes to you and it suddenly starts up in your
mind will show that the enemy is near and is suggesting such
thoughts as without its agency you could not else account for.
You say, man, where did that come from? And it shocks you,
there's an element of shock to it because it wasn't inbred from
the indwelling sin remaining in your heart. In Samuel Pike,
Samuel Haber's cases of conscience, case 13, how may we distinguish
the suggestions of Satan from the corruptions of our own hearts?
When the temptation is unnatural or contrary to the general bias
or temper of our minds, we know that every person has a disposition
to some sin more than others, and this is a sin that most easily
besets us as it arises from our natural temper. But sometimes
persons are tempted to what is directly contrary to this general
bias. When the temptation is opposite
to the present frame of the mind, the present disposition of the
heart, then there is reason to think that Satan has had a hand
in it. The soul of a believer, we know,
is in very different frames and different seasons. Sometimes
he's more carnal, sometimes more spiritual. if a profane or a
blasphemous thought is injected into the mind when we are in
a devotional frame, or if presumptuous thoughts come in while we are
in a disconsolate frame, or despairing thoughts are injected in our
minds when we are in a comfortable frame. In any of these cases,
it seems evident from the nature of that temptation, that fiery
dart, that Satan has a chief influence in introducing them
into the mind. Thank you. I don't know which
Puritan said this, but I think one of them said, you would probably
know, Brother Tom, but we can't stop the bird from landing on
our head, but we can prevent him from building a nest there.
Isn't that Martin Luther? Okay, well, all right. Anyway,
yeah, if it's a fiery dart of the devil and not from ourselves,
A lot. One way to know is, do we entertain
it? Do we let them build a nest there?
Do we continue to think about what has been suggested to us?
Or are we horrified and do we seek to run from it? Question
five. I messed up the ordering. But
I think it would be instructive for the people to hear that one.
And I think that was a very good question that you wrote down.
Well, here's a couple very relevant issues when it comes to the seventh
commandment. There's two of them. The first
one is this. What should Christians think about attending a LGBTQ
plus wedding in quotation marks? The first thought that came to
my mind when I was reading this is, how would that be consistent
with you being salt and light in the world? And if the salt
is lost as savor, it is fit for the donkey. But we also have
to consider a wedding ceremony in the Christian tradition is,
first of all, a worship service. So if the union being celebrated
in the service cannot be biblically sanctioned as an act of worship,
we believe the service lends credence to a lie. And I'm helped
somewhat here by a statement from Ligonier Ministries. We
cannot in good conscience participate in a service of false worship. I understand that does not sound
very nice, but the conclusion follows from the premise, namely,
that the marriage being celebrated is not, in fact, a marriage and
should not be celebrated. As well, there has long been
an understanding that those present at a marriage ceremony are not
just casual observers. We're not passive as professing
Christians if you attend such a wedding. But they are the Christian
professor that is their witnesses who are granting their approval
and support for the vows that are to be made. That's why the
traditional language speaks of gathering here in the sight of
God when the pastor is about to marry two together and in
the face of this congregation. Yeah, and of course, there's
been a prominent pastor and theologian who gave advice to a grandmother
recently, though he opposes same-sex weddings. But the question was,
do I attend my grandchild's transgender wedding? And the advice was,
though you can be opposed to this wedding, you can still go
and even bring a gift. And the rationale was we need
to take risks to love and show compassion to even the enemies
of Jesus Christ. And he is still stood by that
advice. So I guess how would you I mean,
that's that's the rationale. Hey, we need to be loving. to
even our enemies and this is one way that we can love our
enemies is by going to this ceremony and giving a gift and showing
some sort of support. How do we answer that? Indeed we are being loving and
compassionate and this is the most loving and compassionate
thing we can do is by not going and not showing our support of
this so-called union. I'm going to answer that kind
of in a different way because I think your answer is already
very, very helpful. But this is from my experience,
you can disagree with me on this, but if you do not go, from my
experience I have found that if you write a five or six page
letter and you start to preach to the people that went there,
It doesn't have the desired effect that you mean for it to have. There's such a thing as showing
Christian love without being really preachy about it. In the
experiences that I've seen where somebody has taken a stand and
then they write them a letter and the people read it, they're
usually not in the best frame to improve the things that you
are saying. You may actually turn them away. Those kind of counsels are appropriate
if afterwards they come to you because you didn't go and you
give a reason of the hope that is within you. But to do so very,
very cautiously, you're dealing with people that are unconverted,
that by nature already are at enmity against God. We want to
be very, very cautious that we don't turn on a fire hose and
just let them have it with all this information. That's my own
personal conviction about that. While I do agree that we have
to be cautious, there definitely though is a time when we have
to be faithful and we have to tell them the truth. A good reason
not to go to one of these weddings is have no fellowship with the
unfruitful works of darkness, and that's exactly what homosexual
weddings are, but rather reprove them. So sometimes we do want
to be careful, and I agree with you, Tom, to avoid the fire hose
thing, but it's also good to be faithful to people and in
some ways let them know, either before or after, this is why,
and just tell them what the Bible says. You know, our actions sometimes
speak louder than words. I think especially if the couple
knows that we're Christians and they understand our convictions,
us simply not being there will speak very loudly to them. But
certainly there are those times where I feel like, yes, we do
have to just explicitly tell them why, especially if they
ask us. can't beat around the bush forever, and we just need
to speak the truth and love. But I think all of us as pastors
are agreed that we would not recommend anyone, any professing
Christian, to go to any sort of these ceremonies, weddings,
whatever you want to call them. And to keep in mind, if there
were a hypothetical situation where a Christian in good conscience
might be asking, well, they're getting quote married with a
civil servant, the justice of the peace or whatever. It's not
a quote worship service or whatever. They're just standing up, exchanging
some promises and that's it. The issue is that marriage is
a creation institution, not merely a church institution. And the
rules, therefore, for marriage are rooted in creation from the
beginning and not just the church. We may only have time left if
we were to take any questions from the audience for number
six, which I think would be the other question that I think could
be helpful. Yeah, so the second relevant
question is, what are some principles to consider when dealing with
the issue of modest apparel for both men and women? In a way, I'm at a disadvantage
not having daughters, but sons. And I have a very, very good
wife who you know, would ask me if something that she was
wearing was modest. But I want to ask you a question. Did any of you remember the movie
The Time Changer 2002, the Christian movie? It's built on the supposition
that This professor named Russell Carlyle can be time transported
from the 19th century into the 20th century. And do you remember
if you saw the movie, this line? He's with professing Christians,
he's brought into this movie, starts watching the movie, and
Russell Carlyle says, stop the movie! You must stop this movie. The man on the screen just blasphemed
the name of the Lord. There must be some mistake. You
must stop this movie. This is an abomination. Now his
words are contingent on the fact that a person coming from the
early 19th century into the 20th century was shocked by what we
would call the desensitization of modesty and other topics. I mentioned last week a book
called The Public Undressing of America by Jeff Pollard and
Christian modesty, and so we're going to get into this time-changing
machine and go backward and try to trace it, maybe from 1850
to the present, how much the things have changed. This can
only carry so much weight, but it is at least educational to
establish that we have in our day become desensitized to the
things. Jeff Pollard did the historical
groundwork, and it is interesting to read these things, how much
things have changed since the 1850s. One, women's arms were
exposed in clothing between 1900 and 1910, so the arm from the
shoulder down Before that, it would have been
a rare occurrence to see that in public dress. So this may
seem laughable to some in our day. This is a major shift in
thought in the first decade of the 1900s. Number two, the first
clothes that revealed cleavage appeared in the 1930s. Number
three, between 1930 and 1940, the fabric used for swimsuits
exposed more of the body's curves, and for a purpose. They wanted
to go against what they called Puritan norms that warned against
immodest dress and nakedness. And so they wanted to desensitize
the people, and they didn't do it down in Central Park in New
York City. They started with the clothing
that was worn in mixed bathing. Number four, the first two-piece
swimsuit appeared in magazines in 1935, Harper's Bazaar. Number five, during the 1940s
and 1950s, two-piece suits bared the midriff. Number six, the
naval first became exposed in the 1960s. Number seven, when
the new molded fit swimsuits were introduced in 1933 in Harper's
Bazaar magazine, they were actually touted as the answer to nude
bathing. It would have been too presumptuous
for people to bathe in the nude, so let's Do the next best thing. We will fit the clothing or cloth
that is made in these swimsuits to expose the things. And number
eight, the retreat to the beach, as it is called, is so deeply
entrenched in the American psyche that many of us are probably
unaware that men and women frolicking together in the surf was virtually
unknown in human history until the mid-1800s. I mean, that's
some pretty interesting stuff. I just studied it again this
week, and I said, I didn't know. Brother Tom, I was thrilled,
and I figured you would, when you put up Pastor Pollard's work. I read that work years ago, and
while I may want to nuance some of his applications at the end,
overall it's an incredible work, and he's done the church a great
service. By doing it, I would recommend it for every one of
our members here. That being said, on our topic of adultery,
I think men and women both need to realize what you have already
stated in your points, that clothing matters, or the lack thereof
matters, or the presence thereof, but the shape thereof matters.
All these things matter. And back to the preconditions
we were talking about earlier, you just have to, you know, if
you know you've been invited to attend a function and the
people aren't going to be dressed appropriately of either gender,
you may decide that you might not want to attend that function.
or public beaches. You may decide that that's not
the best place for you or your family to go to. Maybe you get
a private pool or something of that nature. There's all kinds
of applications to prevent us from entering into a situation
where adultery, the trap is set related to clothing and modesty. Another thing that Pastor Pollard
pointed out is in the 1950s when pornography was first introduced
to the public, women were shocked that men would be looking at
this stuff and he says that in our day statistics shows that
women are looking at pornography as much as men in our day, buying
it and so on. Yeah, and just in terms of modest
dress, just encourage everybody not to just go with the flow
of the culture. It's real easy to just dress
like your neighbor dresses or the person you work out with,
you know, at a gym or whatever. But just think, like Pastor Eddie
said, our clothing or lack of clothing matters. And I think
often we just don't think about what we're wearing and what it
is saying to other people and what it's revealing to other
people. But really, especially if you're married, consider what
your spouse thinks about how you dress. It's just a real easy
thing to ask your spouse, honey, how does this look on me? What
do you think about this? It can save a lot of heartache
just simply by asking that question. I'll leave it up to you if there's
time to ask questions. Yes, we don't have a hem of the
pond, so yeah, we've got six minutes if anybody wants to ask
any questions. The flip side of this, of course,
back to the positive is, and for the encouragement especially
of Christian ladies, it doesn't mean the Christian version of
a burka. It doesn't mean you have to wear a outdoor patio
umbrella as a matter of clothing. You don't have to. That's such
an excellent point, because the fundamentalist Baptists actually
did. I mean, they almost put wives
in a potato sack. And they meant well, but that's
the other extreme. First of all, you're going to
drown. So the great Christian opportunity
there is, especially using verses like Philippians 4.8 as a guide,
is to educate your conscience on beauty versus allurement.
Those are two different things. Allurement on the surface may,
quote, look beautiful, but it's allurement. It's designed to
allure, whereas beauty is beauty, and beauty is beauty for God's
sake and others' sake. On that note then, I remember
when Donna was raising the daughters in particular, but we also worked
together on this. There were actually times in
public and coming home and talking about it as a family or with
a JCPenney catalog or Sears catalog. Acceptable, not acceptable. Acceptable,
not acceptable. Acceptable, not acceptable. And
training their appetite, so to speak, to desire those things
which we deemed as parents in the spirit of Hebrews 12 that
seemed right to us. to discipline our children with
and teach them to call this beautiful and this off limits. Go ahead,
Blake. Thank you. So this is kind of
a experimental question regarding this whole topic. There are some situations where
the husband and wife have to work because they can barely
make ends meet. Because of this, the couple is
spending less time with each other because of their busyness
of schedules. The question then is, how does
the husband and wife stay pure in this season of life? Yeah,
I mean, obviously, there are a lot of difficulties with that
sort of situation. Hopefully, you guys can find,
the couple can find some opportunities to spend time together. But obviously,
you have to be very watchful. I don't think it's ever a good
thing to spend long periods of time away from your spouse, whether
it's due to work or other situations. I wouldn't probably, if the jobs
were necessary, I wouldn't say go quit your job because of that.
But I would just encourage the couple to be very watchful and
be very intentional in their marriage to find ways to spend
time together, to pray for one another daily, to keep your communication
up. Maybe it's on your lunch break
or something like that to make sure that you're talking with
your spouse. If you can't see him face to face, at least on
your phone. Any other questions? Go ahead,
Alex. When I went to Moody Bible Institute,
we had a specific dress code, particularly when we went to
work out. And I've noticed that both the
men and the women dressed how they wanted to, and they didn't
necessarily consider the other person. And even though, in their
minds, they didn't see themselves as trying to be immodest. I have had discussions with men
who have had difficulty because of what the women are dressing
and the women having difficulty because of what the men are dressing.
And it made me realize we should be really considerate of who's
in the room and the hearts of the people. that we're with because
even though to us it may not seem immodest, it may really
hurt the other person spiritually. So if you're a single man and
you say maybe live on your own, And it's just like late at night. But sometimes like these just
set themselves upon you for whatever reason. You're just minding your
own business or whatever. What are some good ways to flee
from that before it starts pulling you in? I don't know that the
term flee from it is applicable in that case, but in the mortification
of sin by John Owen, he says that the way you're going to
deal with these kind of temptations, and he talks about sin's importunity
in the treatise on indwelling sin, is to be in the means of
grace so that you can lessen the vigor and the power of the
temptation, that it doesn't have such a grasp upon you. I'm just speaking from my experience
in Grand Rapids, Michigan. When I attended that church,
I came there as a single man, and the pastors, when I joined
the church, did not want me living in an apartment alone. They were very, very cautious,
so immediately they were able to find a family for me to rent
a room from, and they thought that that was more a desirable
atmosphere for a young man of 20, 829 when I got to Grand Rapids, and
I think that there's some wisdom in that. Pastors, pray right
away. Seek the face of God. Have some
accountability partners, some people that you're close with
that you can trust, and maybe you can give them a call after
you pray, that they can pray for you, they can give you counsel.
Sometimes fleeing, I mean, maybe you flee by just taking a drive
in your car. getting out of the situation
for a little bit and then coming back. But even as Pastor Eddie
just told me, make sure you're working, make sure you're busy.
Diligent labor and our callings is one of the things that are
commanded in the seventh commandment, according to the Westminster
larger catechism. There's a reason for that. What's
the old adage? He finds mischief for idle hands
to do. I better close, brother. OK. Thank you so much for your attention
these last four weeks. Holy Father, we are always in
continual need of your help, and may none of us get to the
place that says, I can't fall. Lord, we can. Lord, we need your
help. Lord, we need to be strengthened
with might by your Holy Spirit in the inner man. Lord, we need
to make a covenant with our eyes, Job 31, verse 1. We continually
need you to keep us in the way because, again, we are targets
of the enemy. So we commit the rest of our
morning to you and be with us in your Holy Spirit and the worship
service. In Jesus' name, amen.
The 7th Commandment Roundtable Talk _Christians attending a gay wedding?
Series Christian Experience
Questions: Can a Christian attend an LGBT wedding to show charity to a family member? (2) What about Polygamy in the O T? (3) What are some helps to keep us from falling into these sins? (4) what are some guidelines for modesty in apparel? (5) What are we exhorted to FLEE temptations to THIS sin instead of FIGHT against these temptations?
| Sermon ID | 128242214392249 |
| Duration | 46:39 |
| Date | |
| Category | Audiobook |
| Language | English |
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