James chapter number one. Thank you, Preacher, for giving us again the opportunity to be here in Revival Meeting. And we love being here. I have no idea how many sermons I've preached from this pulpit. I have no clue. I tried to keep up with it one time, but I lost track somewhere around 75 or 80, to be honest with you. I've been preaching here long enough to where Josh ought to be living better than what he is, that's for sure. But it is always a privilege to be here. And to be here on the Lord's Day is one of our favorite experiences. We often come in for the Monday morning of the camp meeting, but just a handful of times the Lord has allowed us to be part of the Lord's Day services here. And while I'm saying that, let me just say that my life was deeply enriched by the Sunday school lesson from Pastor Jones this morning. And I know folks have testified about it, and I was going to say something about it this morning and just slipped my mind, but I just want to say that the wisdom of this man of God is far beyond the measure of most. And God has richly blessed... God must really love Turkey Ridge Baptist Church to give you the kind of pastor that you have. And to be honest with you, when he was teaching about raising children this morning, I said to my wife, I just felt like we're the only two people in the room. I felt like he's just talking straight to us right now. And he has that personal conviction and that personal counsel that is so unique to the life that God has given to him. And when he speaks, I listen. Amen. Amen. And I appreciate the good words of wisdom that he gave us in the service this morning. I'm going to go back and start completely over with my children. I'm going to start over. I feel like I need to. I got a 21-year-old and a 20-year-old and a 17-year-old. They're all going back to one-year-old when we get back home. Amen. We're starting completely over. And preacher from my heart, I mean that from the depths of my heart. and all together the Jones family. Can I just say something? I just want to say this, that this church impacts my life every week, every single week. And I'm not talking about financially, I'm not talking about things of that nature, but the devotion that I receive on Saturday evening from Brother Randall Topping, I always read it. and I always glean from it and I know how personal, very personal it's going to be and always a source of inspiration for me. And then most of the time on Sunday mornings, Brother Jones sends out that devotional and I'm always blessed by what he says. I read it and I can hear his voice and the text message, just see his personality flowing through that text message and it inspires me. And then just to have a little part, and I don't have much of a part, but just to have a little part in the work of Brother Josh and the Bible that they are selling and they've come together for that ministry. I just believe in what you men are doing and I thank God for it. And I think so often of many of you, some of you have sent prayer requests to us through Messenger and we pray for this church and have prayed for you through the years. And I know I'm getting a little bit long-winded in saying all of that, but I just want to tell you one more time how much we love you and appreciate you from the depths of our heart. And Rebecca feels the same way. Now Rebecca doesn't get paid to talk like I do, so... She's not as good at it as I am, but she feels the same way. And I can assure you of that. She was looking forward to coming in town and spending time with family. And when we go to the Jones house, we feel right at home. We always feel that way. We feel right at home. He let me shoot my rifle at the house today. Amen. I like it. James 1. James chapter number 1. I want to talk to you about conflict tonight. And more importantly, conflict at home. I don't think there's a person in this building that would be naive enough to say that we have no conflict in our lives whatsoever. If there's ever a book in the Bible that talked about conflict to a greater degree, it is the book of James. It says a lot about the nature of conflict. And we would be naive to assume that we're not going to have that. And if you've pastored for 30 minutes, you've had conflict. I can promise you that. You pastors know what conflict is about. And really, it is at the core of who we are. We started our lives in conflict against God. We were at enmity with God when we were sinners. And then when God saved us by His grace, we entered into a lifelong conflict against the world, the flesh, and the devil. And so daily that conflict surfaces in our spiritual lives. And then added into all of that, you know as well as I do, that there's conflict with other individuals that we have that must be resolved. And I wonder what the Bible says about the resolution of conflict. And let's talk about that for a little while tonight. And not so much between individuals, but I want to come home with you tonight. there'll be no revival if we can't take it home with us. And so, let's talk a little bit about conflict at home this evening. And I want to read from James chapter 1 verse number 19 through verse number 20. And this is probably one of the most personal messages I've ever preached in all of my life. And I trust that you'll... I trust you'll follow us as we make our way through these two verses for the message this evening. James 1 and verse number 19. Do you have your place there? Say, Amen. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, and slow to speak, slow to wrath." And then James adds, "...for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." Father, we pray indeed that you would open our eyes to the truth of this scripture tonight. You know what's in our hearts. You have put it there. And we ask, Lord, that you would help us to communicate that to this church in the most effective way. I pray that you would empty me of self, so that I may be filled with the Holy Spirit. And we'll thank you for all that heaven accomplishes in this message tonight. In the name that is above every name, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ we pray, amen and amen. The reason we have so much conflict in our lives is because we are all very different. There's not one individual in this room that's just like somebody else, even if you're a twin. And I know how it feels to be an identical twin. We are very different in our nature. We're different in the way we think. There's not a man that's just like another man in this building tonight. There's not a woman that is identical to another woman in this building tonight. We are different. And because we have differences in the way we go about our lives, it produces many times conflict. I'm sure you heard about the man that had to go to the doctor because he had developed a heart condition. And the doctor examined him and sent him out to the car and said, send your wife in. I think I'm going to tell her the news and she can communicate it to you later. And he said to the woman when she came into the doctor's office, he said to her, he said, ma'am, you need to know that your husband is critical. He's developed a situation in his health that could kill him if he is not very, very careful. You're going to have to eliminate all conflict out of his life. No more stress. No more conflict. And of course his wife said, how in the world am I supposed to do that? And the doctor said, well, Do your best to eliminate all of the stress by getting up in the morning and make sure that you have some soft music playing. As soon as he gets up, have breakfast hot on the table. Give him a nice back rub and don't let the children make any racket in the house whatsoever. When he gets home, have a wonderful meal sitting on the table. Don't ask him to do anything around the house that he doesn't want to do." And she said, oh my, that sounds like a lot to ask for. And she said, is there anything else? And he said, there is something else. When you get in an argument, let him win. Just tell him, just, you know, you're always right, I'm always wrong. Matter of fact, I probably should never argue with you. You are always right. Remember, no stress. Your husband is critical. He could die. Well, her husband met her out in the car and he asked her, what did the doctor say? And his wife looked at him and said, the doctor said, you're going to die. I heard about a fella down in Cairo, Georgia. I used to preach for a fella that told me one time that him and his wife had been married for 45 years and they never have any conflict whatsoever. And 45 years, never an argument. I said, how did you do that? He said, it's very easy. We made our mind up in the beginning of marriage that I'd make all the big decisions and she'd make all the little decisions. And he said, you know, in all these 45 years, not one big decision has ever had to be made in our marriage. And I guess there are ways to avoid conflict, but I want to teach you how to do it honestly tonight from the Word of God if we can do that. There's hardly any book in the New Testament that prepares us in a more practical way to deal with conflict than the book of James does. We'd all have to agree that James knew something about conflict. Living in the early church and ministering in the dispensation of the early church where he was, he knew very well about conflict. And in five chapters, he visited that subject in every single chapter. In chapter number one, and I just want to give you a brief overview, maybe a bird's eye view of the book for just a moment, and then we'll get into the worm's eye view here in just a second. But in chapter number one, there's the conflict of antagonism. The Bible tells us in verse 19 through verse number 20, "...Wherefore, my beloved brethren, Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." And James has antagonism in mind when he spoke those words in verse 19 through verse number 20. But in chapter number 2, verse number 1 through verse number 6, we read about the conflict of favoritism. James mentions that in chapter 2 verse 1. My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect to persons. He goes on down. I won't read all six verses, but he goes on down into verse number 4 and he said, Are you not then partial in yourselves and are become judges of evil thoughts," he adds in verse number 6, "...but ye have despised the poor." He talks about more conflict that is produced from the subject matter of favoritism in that chapter. The conflict of antagonism. The conflict of favoritism. Notice with me in chapter number 3, and any one of you already know the direction that the third chapter takes, you know what I'm going to say in chapter 3 verse number 8 through verse number 10. He speaks of the conflict of criticism. How we use our tongue. how we use this smallest of members of our body. The Bible says in James chapter 3, verse number 8 through verse number 10, and we could indeed begin at verse number 1 and deal with this subject of the conflict of criticism. But James says, primarily in verse number 8, the tongue can no man tame. It's an unruly evil full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father, and therewith curse we men. Do you see the conflict that's being drawn up in the conflict of criticism? He says in verse number 10, Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. James admonishes, My brethren, these things ought not so to be. And so it is. All of us have known the conflict of criticism. None of us are exempt from it, especially those that are in the ministry. We know how worse problems can be made when people don't learn how to keep their mouth shut about a problem. And those problems are augmented. Those problems are aggravated through the conflict of criticism. James actually said that if you could control your tongue, the same would be a perfect man and able also to bridle the whole body. And there are no perfect men. All of us have guile found in our mouths without the Lord Jesus Christ. And so it is that he speaks to us not only of the conflict of antagonism and the conflict of favoritism and the conflict of criticism, but in the fourth chapter he deals with the conflict of emotionalism. Listen to what James says in chapter 4 and verse number 1. From whence come wars and fighting among you? Watch this. Come they not hence even of your lust that war in your members? And there in that chapter beginning in verse number 1 extending all the way down into verse number 80 deals with the emotional nature of man, matters of bitterness and matters of pardon me, matters of wrath and matters of anger come up in this epistle time after time. We are emotional creatures and many times it's our emotionalism that produces the greatest conflict. In chapter number five, and I'm trying to give this to you in a way that you can remember it, not only the conflict of antagonism and favoritism and criticism and emotionalism, but in chapter five, the conflict of skepticism. James speaks in verse number 9 of that chapter, these words, "...grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned." It is our skepticism, our cynicism of one another that oftentimes brings about conflict. And so in every single chapter, James deals with a source of conflict. And these various five sources can be preached on and preached over and over again. and certainly it touches the heart of a lack of revival in the church, but tonight I have our relationships at home in my heart, and I want to go home with you just for a little while. Conflict is a part of life, and many times conflict surfaces first in our homes. Too often that is especially true in our marriages. Many times it's true among our children. And too many times in marriage we focus on the things that are driving us apart instead of the things that have brought us together. God made you to be with the person that you're with for all of your days. It was one preacher that said, God made us different so he could make us one. It's impossible for two things that are alike to be made one. And so God made us different so that He can make us one. You gentlemen, get me an amen ready. I am different than the woman I am married to. Whoo! Man, I said a mouthful right there. And you ladies, get me an amen ready. You're not like the man that you're married to. Well, it was a little weak on that side, but we'll see how this goes anyway. We are physically different. That's right. God made us that way. God didn't make Rebecca to be like me physically. He didn't make me physically to be like Rebecca. We are physically different. And so God creates us differently so He can put us together as one. We are not only physically different, we are chemically different. And we're not only chemically different, we're emotionally different, and temperamentally different, and intellectually different. That's right. You're not like the person that you're married to. God created you as an individual. He doesn't expect your wife to think like you think. What's getting dead in here tonight? He doesn't expect your husband to react to things like you react to things? And with all of our differences, there's always the potential of conflict. The question is not whether we're going to have conflict. The question is, How are we going to deal with the conflict that we have? I learned a long time ago that some people got married at the Justice of Peace. There are some other people got married at the Secretary of War. And I've dealt with some situations in the ministry and dealt with some very personal situations in my own family, unrelated to me and my wife, that conflict has come, and oh, the source of conflict and the source of division in our homes, the devil will capitalize on those things, driving us apart, and where God has united us, he will try to divide and to conquer us. Well, let me give you a hint. There's three commands in verse number 19, and two of the three commands have to do with how we communicate one with another. In fact, two-thirds of the conflict resolution that James had in mind when he dealt with this can be achieved by how you talk to the person that you're married to. How you talk to the person that you're in a relationship with. Now, I want to bring it way, way down. I'm going to bring it down to just some two-word commandments for the message tonight. Just Three thoughts to share. Some very simple thoughts to put into this message and I'll be as brief as I can in doing that. Now notice with me the first command. Go back with me to verse number 19. It might be worth you writing it down. In verse number 19, the first command is, tune in. Notice what James says in verse number 19, to here. Swift to here. The word picture here is that there's a place out in front of us where conflict can be resolved. And the fastest way to get to that place is to tune in to one another. Is this making sense to anybody in here besides me tonight? James says, be fast Be swift getting to that place where conflict can be resolved. My mother used to say to me, and I'll never forget what she said, God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. He wants you to listen twice as much as you speak. And that's old country thinking, but it's the truth, isn't it? And the first commandment, it's noteworthy to me that the first commandment in conflict resolution at home is, tune in one to another. And the command is about how we hear. Let every man be swift to hear. Listening is step one to resolving any kind of conflict. Friend, hear me and hear me well. When you give the impression that you're not listening to the person that you love, they're going to come to the place where they stop talking to you. And when you stop listening, amen somebody, when you stop listening and they stop talking, your marriage is soon going to be in a whole lot of trouble. It's important because you can't understand a person that you're not listening to. A man said to his wife in counseling one time. They went to counseling together. The therapist spoke up and said, your wife says you never buy her flowers. And he said, I didn't even know that she sold flowers. Sometimes we're just not listening. Sometimes we're not listening to the point that we should be listening. And I'm no authority on this. You can ask my wife. Matter of fact, I probably should have left her at home and preached this by myself here, amen? But I want to say to you that through years of ministry, nearly thirty years now of ministry, I've learned a few things of what it means to listen to somebody. There is nothing that offends me more than when somebody stops listening to me. But we have a tendency not to hear one another. We have a tendency not to listen to one another. As a matter of fact, one of the first commands in this epistle, James tells us that we are to be hearers of the Word. You can't even be right with the Lord if you do not, by faith, hear what He has to say. And so we have to learn to listen to one another. Number one, we learn to listen through observation. Learn to listen with more than just your ears. When you begin to watch a person, when you begin to observe a person, you learn things about that person that words cannot say. That's an all-important principle to learn early in your marriage. Body language says something. Facial expressions makes a statement. Eye contact. I never forget some years ago, we were sitting with someone, they were talking about how to make marriage work and they were just talking about just it doesn't take a whole lot of time, just sometime in the morning time, sometime in the daytime, just sit down and have some eye contact with your wife and speak to her. Man, this is going over like a pork chop in a Jewish synagogue in here tonight. Just sit down and let her know that you're not just into what she's into, you're into her. And you want her to know that you love her, right? You want her to know that she means more to you than anybody else in this world? You want her to know that. She should never have any reason to doubt that. Sometimes that's as simply dismissed as just listening to what she says. Observation. Secondly, concentration. Now this is where I fall short. focusing on what's being said. I've been riding down the road with my wife and she'll be talking about something and I'll have to say, now stop and go back one time and tell me. Some of y'all are already shaking your head right now. Stop and go back and tell me what you just said. Explain to me what you just said. I didn't quite get because she talks different and she thinks so differently than me. I say, Rebecca, you're going to have to stop and tell me that one more time. I really need to understand what you just said. There's concentration that has to be involved in our listening. Not only observation, but concentration. Pardon me for making this fast. I've got a lot of ground to cover tonight. But there's consideration. There always should be a considerate relationship in the home. That's right. I told my kids a long time ago, if you can't be friends with one another, you're not going to be friends with anybody else outside of this house. It's a demand. It's an absolute certainty. You're going to be a friend of your sisters. You're going to be a friend to your brother. And that should be the same way in our homes. We should be friends one with another. Observation. Concentration. Consideration. Explanation. Sometimes you have to talk about a matter until you get that thing settled between you. It's important that those things be settled. Wouldn't you agree? Wouldn't you agree? I was sitting in a session some years ago, and I never counsel with people that my wife's not involved in, especially a lady. I never counsel a lady by myself that my wife is not involved in that conversation. And all these horror stories you hear about preachers getting out of the ministry, that's where a bunch of them started, right there. They got by themselves with a woman that they're not married to, And she said something like, man, I wish my husband talked to me more like you talk to me. And there you go. That's where a lot of that foolishness starts right there. So we made a policy in our home a long time ago that I wouldn't be by myself with a woman that I'm not married to. And Rebecca abides by that and we have abided by that and it's kept us out. of a lot of trouble through these years. Amen right there. We just stand by that. I think it's wise. I know I can't take you to a verse in the Bible. It's just a principle God gave us years ago. When we're counseling with somebody, we try to do it together. We try to be together as a husband and wife with a husband and wife, a husband and wife with another lady or another man. We always try to do that. And I never forget one time we were sitting in my office up in Pennsylvania and I was talking to a lady and to a man in our office and I wrote this statement down after it was all over with. I wrote this statement down. This is what she said to her husband. She said, I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I don't think you realize what you heard is not what I meant. I was so smitten by that statement that later on I said to Rebecca, did you hear what I heard? And she said, I heard the same thing, and I wrote it down. I know you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I don't think you realize what you heard is not what I meant. How about that? Can I just go on record and say something tonight, friend? They think different than we do. They communicate different than we do. And so one thing we're going to have to do if we're going to make marriage work is we're going to have to tune in. Tune in. A husband went to the sheriff's office to report his wife missing. He said to the deputy sheriff, he said, she went shopping yesterday and she hasn't come home since. And the deputy sheriff said to the husband, he said, well, what's her height? And he said, well, you know, I've been married to her a long time, but to be honest with you, I never really realized how tall she is. He's not really a tall lady, but she's not necessarily a short lady either. And then he said to her, he said, well, how much does she weigh? And he said, well, she's not necessarily a skinny lady, but I wouldn't say she's oversized. She's just a good sturdy woman, you know. And then he said to the officer, the officer said to him, he said, what's her eye color? And he said, well, to be honest with you, it's been a long time since I looked into her eyes, and I really couldn't tell you what her eye color is. I've forgotten. Then he said to the, the deputy said to him, he said, what color is her hair? And he said, well, to be honest with you, that changes twice a year or so, and so I really couldn't tell you what color her hair is right now. And then he said to him, he said, well, what kind of car did she go out in? And he said, well, she went out in my truck. And the deputy sheriff said to the man, he said, well, tell me more about your truck. Well, it was a brand new 2017 Ford F-150 King Ranch 4x4 with a 5.0 V8 engine, special ordered with manual transmission, has a custom matching white cover on the bed, custom leather seats with Bubba engraved in the floor mats. It has a towing package with a gold hitch, DVD navigation, 21-channel CB radio, 6 cup holders, 4 power outlets. I put a 4-inch lift on it the week that I bought it. Customized license plate that says, Gone Fishing. And the deputy looked at the man and he said, Sir, we'll find your truck for you. Now I know all of that may come across as a moment of levity, but we really don't know each other as we should know one another. So the first commandment of this passage is, be swift to hear. That is, tune in. That's the first thought. Number two. Not only do we learn in this passage that we're to tune in, but notice with me in verse number 19, tone down. Now this is important. The Bible says in verse number 19, as a supplement to the first thought, "...Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear..." Tune in. "...slow to speed..." That is to tone it down. So there's two commandments that have to do with the speed of relationship here. One, we are to be swift running to it, and the other we are to be slow in getting to it. The first one is be swift to hear, and the second one is to be slow to speak. That is, tune in and tone down. When you're talking, you're not listening. And sometimes we have a problem, even in casual conversation, that we're thinking about what we want to say instead of listening to what should be heard. Sometimes we miss some of the essentials of what's in a person's heart because we're thinking about what needs to be said next instead of tuning in and what they are trying to say. Sometimes... Gentlemen, y'all get me some amen's ready? Sometimes the most wise thing you can say is nothing. Just... just listen. In Proverbs chapter 10 and verse number 19, the Bible said, "...in the multitude of words there wanteth not sin, but he that refaineth his lips is wise." In Proverbs 17 verse number 27, "...he that hath knowledge spareth his words, and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit." Spirit. In Proverbs 21 verse number 23, "...whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from trouble." Let me give you one more. Proverbs 29 verse number 11, "...a fool uttereth all of his mind, but a wise man keepeth an end until afterwards." Did you hear that? We're not only to tune in, we are to tone down. Sometimes the best thing you can do is choose your words to use wisely as the Proverbs teach us. James is telling us in verse number 19, don't say everything that you think. Oh my, that's a hard life lesson right there. Oh, the things that come to our mind, and the things we allow to come out of our lips, and oh, how many times I've said things and wished I could go back, and oh, swallow that back up. Sometimes I wish I could go back, and you remember back in the tape days? Some of y'all remember back in the 8-track days, amen. I remember those days very well. But you remember back in the tape days, especially in the duplication of tapes in churches, we would have those little cassette tapes and then it would sometimes be shipped with a magnet and whatever was on that tape, you could take that magnet and you could run that magnet. It was supposed to erase the tape. You remember that little handheld magnet? It was supposed to be an eraser of the tapes and then you could reuse the tape for something else. Boy, I wish I had a magnet like that for some of the things I've said. just to run it over the conversations of my life and say, man, I wish I could take that back. I wish I could draw that back. I wish I could erase that data. Have you ever felt that way before? My entire adult life has been built around learning how to communicate in sharp ways, communicate in short ways, communicate in ways that make the most effective impact on people. That's what preachers live their lives for. And can I go on record and say this? Rebecca has the misfortune of being married to me. She's married to a preacher. And she said that to me before. I hope I don't get too much in trouble by saying this. This is a personal message. But she said that to me before. She said to me, she said, you know what? You're not talking to me like you're my husband. You're talking to me like you're a preacher. That's an occupational hazard, friend. My wife say something to me and I said, well let me give you three things about that right now. And that's the way we're built. That's the way we're geared. We're communicators. But James doesn't tell us that our homes are to be run that way. There are some things that we ought to be slow to say. Slow to say. I've learned a few things. Can I give you some things tonight? I've learned a few things. Many times we cannot resolve conflict because we speak like a judge in our home. You always, you never, all you ever do is You are the worst. Sometimes we can't resolve conflict in our homes because instead of being a husband or a wife, we try to be a professor. That's stupid. What were you thinking? You wouldn't understand because you're a man. You wouldn't understand because you're a woman. You don't know what you're talking about. Many times we can't resolve our conflicts at home because we talk to each other like a dictator. If you ever do that again, you better not. I don't care what you say. I'm in charge. We sometimes try to be a psychologist at home instead of a husband. I know why you said that. I know what you meant by that. I knew you would say that. Oftentimes we fail at home in our communication because we become a historian. You never did love me. If I had it to do over again, you'll never change. Then as I've said, sometimes we try to act like a preacher. You don't love me like Christ loved the church. If you were godly, you would. I wonder what the pastor would say if he was here to hear you talking like that. Friend, those are the seeds of discontentment that is sown into a marriage that will damage your relationship beyond repair. You better learn not only to tune in, but tone down. Tone down. I've learned this to be true. There are no problems too big to be solved. Just people that are too big to solve them. If we would ever get small again in our own eyes and our marriage, we could solve the problems that are before us. If we would put the problem out in the middle of the room instead of attacking one another and attack the problem instead of attacking one another, we could make progress. Can I give you a final thought tonight? tune in, tone down. And then notice in verse number 19, the last part, you know where this is going to end up, take it slow. James says this in verse number 19, Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, that's tune in, slow to speak, that's tone down. And then he ends the admonition by saying, slow to wrath, that is take it slow. Anger, bitterness, animosity, even levels of hatred that are expressed in our homes. These things ought to never be in a Christian home. There's a point that we all get angry. And I'm not going to tell you that you're ever going to get past that. There's any red-blooded American man, any lady that's got the same blood flowing through her veins as you do, there's a point where we can all be made angry. And James said, we should be, listen to me, we should be slow in getting to that point. Write this down. Proverbs 16 verse number 32 sums it up. He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh the city. You see, the Bible teaches us that angry people are sinful people. The Word of God says in Proverbs 29, verse number 22, "...An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression." Angry people are not only sinful people. Angry people are foolish people. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 7 and verse number 9, "...anger resteth in the bosom of the fool." Angry people are sinful people. Angry people are foolish people. Then thirdly, angry people are lonely people. The Bible says in Proverbs 22 verse 24, "...make no friendship with an angry man. With a furious man thou shalt not go." When you get to the place where you're angry in your marriage, you are sowing the seeds of separation. You can't go along in anger and expect your marriage to last. Let me give you three principles about that. I think I'll have the liberty to close the message here in just a moment. Let me give you three principles that will shine light on the way out of anger. Number one, don't cultivate your anger. You remember in Ephesians chapter 4 and verse number 26, the Apostle Paul said it this way, "...let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Now, in that one passage of Scripture, He teaches us about an anger that is sinful and about an anger that's righteous. He said, "...be ye angry and sin not." There's a kind of anger that is not sinful. It's the kind of anger that Jesus showed when He went into the temple and they were selling and bartering and trading in the temple. And He turned the tables over and He said, "...my house shall be called a house of prayer, but you've made it a den of thieves." You would think that through that expression of anger Jesus wouldn't have been right with God, but you know what he did? He went right on the porch of the temple and he performed a miracle. He was angry inside of the temple and came out and performed a miracle on the outside of the temple. There's a kind of anger that is a righteous indignation. But then there's another kind of anger. And it's the kind of anger that divides. It's the kind of anger that frustrates. It's the kind of anger that agitates. And most everything that grows has to have sunlight to make it grow. But this kind of anger, the Bible said, don't let the sun go down upon this wrath. God has created the 24-hour day to remind you that your anger must be settled before the sun goes down. and it's a great principle for marriages that survive. Marriages that survive are built between two people that have learned to forgive one another. That's right. I will say that one more time. A marriage that'll survive is a marriage that is between two people that have learned to forgive one another. Don't carry your anger to bed with you. Don't carry your anger into the day or the week or into the month. Listen, you have to bury that anger. Anger is so destructive that God said you need to deal with it today. today. Number one, don't cultivate your anger. Number two, don't communicate your anger. I'll give you this from Proverbs. Proverbs 15, 1, "...a soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger." I'd add to that the cross-reference of Proverbs 19, 11 where Solomon said, "...the discretion of a man deferreth his anger, and it is his glory to pass over a transgression." The very best decision, hear me well, the very best decision you can make when you become angry is don't let it come out of your mouth. When words begin to erupt and belt out of your soul and your spirit onto the person that you're angry with, it turns to bitterness and wrath and clamor and evil speaking. And Paul said, these things ought to be put away from all of us. Don't get to the point where that smoldering oily rag becomes inflamed and that flame turns into an inferno and that inferno turns into a nuclear bomb. Watch your anger. Don't communicate your anger. Don't cultivate your anger. I would add this. Don't collaborate your anger. We've been going back and forth to the Proverbs tonight. I need to add another one. Proverbs 22, verse 24 through 25, Make no friendship with an angry man. With a furious man thou shalt not go. I'd like to add to that what we did not read last time. Lest thou learn his ways and get a snare to thy soul. I need to say something right here. The Lord put it on my heart to say it. You know, when I first got saved, God dealt with me about my anger. I was angry at my dad. I was angry at my mother. I was angry at my family and all the sin that they sowed into my life. And I tell you, I started going to church and I saw all these other kids at the church that had a good daddy and a solid home. I started getting angry. I started getting a little bit envious and bitter in my heart of how they had so much and I had so little. And then the Lord dealt with me about that anger and I began to mine it out of my heart and get it out of my heart. And I'm going to tell you the truth, friend, I got over it. Within a year, a year and a half, maybe two years after getting saved, God let me get past that stuff. And you know how it was reintroduced in my life? A preacher. A preacher. I got to know a preacher and became a personal friend with him. And every time he'd get in the pulpit, he just came across as mad. and angry, and bitter, and always talking about his church problems, always talking about the bad people in the church, always talking about how many times he'd been done wrong. And man, I started picking back up on those same characteristics again because I thought, well, if a preacher can have those characteristics, it must not be wrong. Neighbor, it's wrong whether it's a preacher or whether it's somebody sitting on the pew. Anger never serves a holy purpose. Are you listening to me tonight? Jesus, James said to us, be ye angry. Pardon me. James said to us in verse number 19, Beloved, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. Look at verse 20. For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. That's right there in your Bible. It's not to be forgotten. It's not to be ignored. In every friendship, in every relationship, there's conflict. And there's going to be anger and friction that is produced in those relationships. I want to say to you tonight in the closing of this message, at home, don't let anger be the leading emotion that you speak to each other through, that you communicate to each other through. There is great, great danger in that. But James tells us, he says, listen, you need to be fast in this. And then he says, you need to be slow in this. You need to be slow in getting to this place, but fast in getting to this place. And oh, the admonition. Man, when I read that, oh, how it touched my heart to learn how to be slow to some things and fast in some other things. Let's stand tonight. I've given you