Let us pray. Lord, we now come to that time in the worship service. With expectation to hear from you. Is your word. The word that will stand forever that will not be broken is brought forth to us. Lord, I pray that your spirit will prepare our hearts for receiving it. Make every crooked way straight within us. May every wandering thought be done away with and brought to focus on you and your word. Lord, this is the means by which you renew the image of the second Adam and us. And so, Lord, I pray that that will be what's done during this time. Convict us of our sins. Comfort us in our discouragements. And renew our hearts and minds. To be conformed to the image of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It's in his name we pray. Amen. If you'll turn in your Bibles to 1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter chapter 3. I'm going to read verses 1 and 2 this morning, 1 Peter chapter 3. In the same way, you wives be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. This morning we consider these passages. It's important for us to recognize that we're continuing to see a downgrade in our culture and one area of downgrade that is often misidentified, misapplied and mischaracterized is the understanding of order in our homes, particularly order in our marriages. Peter here is outlining to us that there is to be order and there's to be order in the home. This time of year, many people are thinking about this holiday called Christmas. Now, historically, predominantly, this holiday has been about the birth of Christ. And what was the birth of Christ really concerning? It was concerning right order. The birth of Christ is necessary to bring everything back into order in all of creation for all time in history. Order is a part of everything in life. But for most people, this holiday or this time of year is simply about a lot of other things than really understanding order. It goes to show that the same is true in every aspect of life. Most of our country, most of the world today understands little about order. Everybody wants to do whatever it is you want to do. And they want everybody to tell them it's okay. You go do whatever you want to do. You act however you want to act. You do whatever you want to do and do it your way. Be you. That's what I've seen often. These little blurbs here and there. Be you. What does that mean really? What it means is you go do whatever you want to do and you don't have to think about any order. You don't have to think about authority, order, purpose, plan. You don't have to think about anything. Just do whatever you do. Be you. Sounds nice. Sounds cool. but it's out of character with God himself, and it's out of character with God's word. When you read these words this morning, you may read words like wives and submissive, and automatically you have a cultural perspective and background with which to hear those words. The world around you will take the word wife and make it what it wants it to be. The world around you will take the word submissive and make it what it wants it to be. But God himself has a reason for these words in the scripture and the first and foremost reason for these words is about order in life. Number one this morning, remember God ordained authority and order in all of life. God ordained authority and order in all of life. The very first phrase you read in verse one, some of your versions will have the word likewise. Some of your versions will have the words in the same way. Paul is saying, likewise, in the same way you wives be submissive. Likewise what? In the same way what? It's because he's already spoken about the idea of submission using this word in context in different ways. Verse 13 of the previous chapter, Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority or to the governors as by sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. He's already using this idea of order in life. The word submit has already been used. And now he's using it in a context to tell us there is order in life. In a way, it sounds really neat to say you can do whatever you want to do. But when you look at a society that works that way, have you ever seen a society that functioned under this one, one mantra? Do whatever you want. whenever you want and you've seen that society do well. No. No. Matter of fact, most societies would never even welcome that mentality. Most societies would recognize there has to be some kind of order. Whether that's a king, a dictator, a president, or some form of government, most societies recognize a chief of a tribe, there's always some kind of order. And Peter is building off of the context of submitting to order, submitting to authority. He's doing that in this letter, but he's also doing it from the basis of his understanding of the whole of Scripture. You remember Peter was a good Jewish man. He was a very decent understanding Jewish man and he knew the scriptures. And what did he know? He knew that God ordered all of life and God was the authority in all of life. When he says, in the same way, he's building it off of previous statements he's made and he's also building it off of the concept that God has ordered all creatures under some type of earthly authority. If you read the whole of Peter's letter and you see him building this continually, he's coming to this place of speaking to wives by already telling us in the scriptures there is authority in life and God first and foremost is the number one authority. When Peter opens his letter, he submits himself to that very authority of God. He submits himself under that order of God. Even in calling himself an apostle, he's submitting himself to the very order and authority of God, saying that I am a messenger not of my own, I'm not just being me, I am an apostle of Christ Jesus. The very idea of order and authority is in the very front of this letter. And so when we come to the context of looking at this in the home, it's being built upon line and line and precept and precept. But it's also thematic in the context of him understanding from the whole of scripture, God is the one who is an authority over all things. And God, by God, Order has been given to all creatures, and all creatures are under some type of authority, earthly authority. Heavenly first off, and then earthly authority. I think it's important for us to recognize this, because before you start talking to wives about what they are to do, biblically, you have to give wives an understanding that this is not just a bunch of over testosterone men trying to be dominating. That's the world's view. The world says, it's these men. They're just awful and terrible. They've got too much testosterone. Well, that's not the case for biblical submission. Biblical submission is not built off that type of definition. It's built off of the definition of God's created order. Ladies, you are being commanded to do this from scripture by the created order of God. All people and all things are subject to God. This is an authority inherent in the very being of God. To question what God has said in his word about authority and order is to look at God and say, I'm not sure you know what you're doing. Man is subject to the authority of God and man is subject to the authority of governments. This is an authority bestowed by God upon people to govern others. We can have all kinds of questions about right government, good government. That's not what I'm dealing with here. What I'm saying to you is, is the Bible is clear. God is the one who gives governing authorities. And God's word teaches us to subject ourselves to them appropriately. Servants are subject to the authority of masters. There are several places in here. When Paul's writing this, this is not at a time of the American Civil War. Let's not get confused here. This is at a time where there's always been an understanding of slavery in a culture. To some degree, you have to understand that people put themselves in slavery positions or put themselves under the ownership of a master in different cultures so they could have a job, so they did have some work, so they could have food for their families. And to some degree, in a modern culture, we still do that today. Most of you go to jobs, places that you work, many of you, and you don't like or agree with everything that your job tells you to do. So what do you do? Do you go in every Monday and complain to your boss and tell him everything that's terrible and wrong about the company, and then proceed to do it on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? Is that what you do? I bet if you do that, you don't have a job. There are things you do at work which you submit. You submit to those governing principles. Now, if those governing principles tell you to go against God's word, then you don't submit to those. If the governing principles tell you to sin against God, you don't submit to those. But there are things that you do because you want to get a paycheck. You want to have a job. You may not really like flipping burgers or whatever it is you do, but you do it and you submit to the rules of it to be able to have a living. Husbands are subject to God and the leadership of their homes. If we were to turn to Ephesians chapter 5, it makes it clear that husbands are heads of their homes. They are heads of their wives as Christ is the head of the church. But it tells them that they are these heads as they are subject to the Lord himself. Husbands don't have the right to rule their homes any way they feel like at any moment, at any whim. They first have to be mindful of being subject to God. to God's authority, to God's Word. It is true there are people that love power and they will take advantage of power and there are plenty of men down through time that have taken advantage of that power. But you can read in history that there have been women that have taken advantage of power too. Power is an all-encompassing sinful issue if it's not dealt with appropriately. Husbands, you don't have power and authority in and of yourselves to just tell your wives whatever you feel like at the moment, however you feel like. You are subject to God first, and you must conduct yourself in your home in a way that you place yourself as a husband under the order of God's authority and God's Word. You see, Peter's building a whole argument off of this whole idea of order and authority. He hasn't just come to this section about wives and just said to himself, well, it sounds good. Culturally, we'll just kind of say this. Let's just put it in here. Wives just submit. That's not what he does. He's building a whole concept here off of biblical order. Wives are to subject themselves to their own husbands. Husbands are to subject themselves to God. Wives are to subject themselves to God first, but in subjecting themselves to God they will obey his command and subject themselves to their husbands. Other places in the scripture it tells us children are to subject themselves to their parents. You see, there's a theme of order. There's a theme of proper authority in all of the scripture. Peter didn't just commit this and all of a sudden decide, this sounds good, or you know what, I don't like women, so I'm going to say something demeaning. That's not what he's doing here. It's sad that the culture wants to bash the scripture and make it out like all men are mean to women, so therefore, anytime you see the word submit, women, get the, hair up on the back of your neck and be angry. That's not the biblical model here for the husband or the wife. The husband should order himself rightly to lead his home and that's to do it under God and His Word. The wife should subject herself under God and submit herself to her own husband. and to do so as to the Lord. Paul, in both the letter to the Ephesians and the letter to the Colossians, tells wives this submission is as to the Lord. The reason you are ordering yourselves this way, ladies, who are married or about to be married or hope to be married, is not because of some cultural mandate that men just want to be mean. No, the reason we order these things in the life of our homes and the church is because this is what God has commanded. This leads us to number two, remember God commanded wives to submit to their own husbands. There's order in the letter. The order in the letter is built upon the created order of all of the scripture. The specifics of the letter bring us to a place to understand that to live as a gospel-centered person, to live as a person who loves the Lord Jesus, you will order yourself under the commands of God. And that order and authority has been given by God. And one of those places of order and authority is for the husband to lead his home as the head and the wife to submit to her own husband. Now, first of all, it's important for you ladies to know the scripture's not telling you to submit yourself to just any man. It's not telling you that you have to submit to any, just any man that walks around on God's green earth. And whatever that man tells you to do, you have to do it. That's not what the scripture is saying. The scripture is teaching you that there's a bond between a husband and a wife. That bond is given to us in the picture of Christ and the church. Christ loved the church and He died for her. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and He died for her. And in that bond of marriage, there is this order. And upon that order, this order is built in the context of this bond. This bond would mean that you would willingly Submit yourself to your own husband not just to any man But to your own husband When you see in verse 1 the word Here expressed as be submissive That word is used in multiple places in the scripture Sometimes it's translated submit. Sometimes it's translated subject. Sometimes it's translated here in a form of be submissive. It's a continuing form. Keep on doing this. He's actually saying to them, I know you've already been doing this, so keep striving in it. And the word literally in its context and literally in its definition means to place or rank under. Even in the Old Testament and the New Testament, there's essentially the same meaning, to place or rank under, to specifically subject oneself and obey. Peter uses this in the context that it's been used in the whole of the scripture. submit, subject, has been used this way not just here by Peter, but it's been used in this way in the Old Testament numerous times. There's a context of it throughout the whole of scripture. The idea of it is in the created order itself that man was supposed to submit to God's authority in the very garden itself. Anytime David was dealing with foreign countries, he wanted those foreign countries to submit. In one place, David was so overwhelmed by the prominence that God gave him as king that even foreigners were submitting to him in Psalm 1844. The New Testament uses this word in several places as well. The disciples are amazed that even the demons and evil spirits would subject or were subject to the very authority of the disciples because of the authority of Christ. Luke 10, 17. The 70 return with joy saying, Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name. This word always has this connotation of there's a certain rank or order and there's authority. Paul uses the word in Romans 8 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God for it does not subject itself to the law of God. This is the problem of us and our sin nature. We have a mind that is set on the flesh and that mind is hostile toward God and it will not subject, it will not come under, it will not rank itself under the very authority of God. Peter hasn't invented a new idea or a new word here. This concept is throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament. It's even in the context specifically concerning wives in the Old Testament. When we look at the idea of this order and authority in Genesis in the created order, it's clear. The woman was made from the man. There's an order there. It's clear that God intended the man to lead and to be faithful in his leadership and for the woman to be willingness to walk under his leadership. This is one of the difficulties of the fall, isn't it? To recognize that in the fall, that which was good in leadership, that which was good in the relationship between husband and wife, and the fall was now corrupted. Men will be sinful in their leadership, in their marriages. Women will be sinful in their response to the leadership in their marriages. This is the fall. And even amid all of that, the scripture tells us that God said, yet your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Modern feminism kicks against this order. Modern feminism hates the order of God. Modern feminism tries to feed the cultural lie that it will be better, it will be better for all of us if we deny the created order and just do what we want to do. And yet it's always interesting, isn't it? No matter how much this fight goes on, there always is a difference in reality between a woman and a man. By physicality, gender, there's a difference. There's a noticeable difference in the way that men and women often think. That's honest, isn't it? It's a big joke in some sense, to some degree, but in a way we have to recognize it's the truth. It's the way that God made man and women. And to kick against all of this is to say we don't want to hear the whole of the scripture. And yet from the very created order itself, there is the idea of submission between the husband and the wife. that a woman would submit herself under this authority. Even in the idea of respect in Genesis 18-12, Sarah laughed to herself saying, after I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my Lord, being also old? Now there's multiple issues in the passage and you can look at some of that, but notice here that Sarah calls Abraham Lord. Now she's not calling him Lord in the sense of calling him God as he's deity. The word Lord here is used as a term of respect. She not only loves him as her husband, but she respects him. And this is Paul's words to the church in Ephesus that wives must respect their husbands. Now, husbands, you ought to strive to live in a way that you're worth respecting. But regardless, the command is there. Submit to your own husbands and respect him. And Peter even uses the idea of Sarah and Abraham in verse 6 of chapter 3. That historical setting is there for us. And Peter brings it forward. The New Testament context, specifically concerning wives, we've said some of it already, but we have to note Ephesians 5, 22 through 24, wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. Colossians 3, 18, wives be subject to your own husbands as is fitting in the Lord. And then here in 1 Peter 3, 1, in the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands. The biblical context of the words submit or subject, it means to place oneself under the rank of another being or person. And then there's always a context given for how that's supposed to be done, whether it's government, whether it's wives, whether it's children, and the context for the wife is to be willing in Christ to submit yourself to the headship of your husband as to the Lord. That which is fitting in the Lord. The specific command given to wives tells us that there is a specific role and order even in the marriage. It's in creation. It's in government and culture. It's supposed to be. It's supposed to be in our homes. I was reading an article some weeks ago about some of these high-tech jobs that you can go to, and apparently, you know, to kick against the idea of any order, they basically just let you come in, and you just kind of have an open space, and you go do your work wherever you want to, and there's ping-pong tables and video games and all these kinds of things around, and this is the way that the whole group works and so they just function this way supposedly. You need to see that that is an outworking of the human sinful mind. Now that's not to say that a person can't have their own personal order inside of a context like that and get their work done. But it goes against the whole idea of creating some form of order in all things. We see order in everything. It's good for us to have order in things like engineering, right? How many of you want an engineer who's gonna engineer your home or your building and they have no sense of order? Well, God's saying that our marriages shouldn't be like that either. Our marriages shouldn't just be a free-for-all. They need to have order in them, and one way that they have order is that wives would, in Christ, be willing to submit, to come under the headship of their husband in Christ. Now, thirdly, I want to say something that at first I wasn't going to say this. I know, it makes you nervous, doesn't it? It makes me nervous, too. I thought about putting this out from the elders in some kind of an email, but I don't know that that's appropriate. Because the things that I'm going to say here, I think you need to hear them. I think people in TV La La Land need to hear them. And I want them on recording so that if there is some kind of crackpot out there who wants to come to our church and misuse the idea of submission, they won't come to our church and do it. because I want you to understand something plainly. Recognize that genuine biblical submission does not coincide or agree with any form of actual abuse. Recognize that genuine biblical submission does not coincide or agree with any form of actual abuse. Firstly, physical abuse of any person, including a wife or a child, is sin against God. It's just plain. How do I know it's plain? Well, because actual physical abuse goes against the sixth commandment. If the culture wants to tell you wives that biblical submission is the open door to being abused, then they don't understand biblical submission, because that's not true. If biblical submission and a biblical marriage are being honored, there is not physical abuse going on in the marriage. And if it is going on, it is sin. Plain and simple, it's sin. Husbands, none of us has a right to physically abuse a wife or a child. If any one of you is under any of that, I tell you, go to the authorities. If you don't feel that you can, you get help to go to the authorities. And I think I can say to you plainly, the elders at Trinity, if we find out there's physical abuse of a child or a woman, we will turn you into the authorities. It's just that plain. The sixth commandment says you shall not murder. Murder is the crime of an unlawfully killing of another person, especially with malice and forethought. But you know what murder is preceded by? Anger. Anger and malice. The scripture is clearly against anger and malice. The deeds of the flesh, explained by Paul on a couple of occasions, especially to the latter in the Galatians, makes it clear that anger is sin. Anger gone far enough from one's heart to one's physical actions. Malice with intent to harm another person. The scripture is clearly against that kind of violence. It can be tough to differentiate those things in a culture like ours at times. We try to work through that sometimes in our sports for men and young men of that nature. But it's very clear we are not to go after others with bodily harm intended. That's just sin against God. And to do it against a woman or a child is doubly the same. Jesus warned of anger or hatred in the mind and the heart, and he warned us. God sees what's going on in your mind and your heart as no different than sinfulness as you committing the sin itself. Husbands, if you get angry at your wives, even if it is on the inside, and you have that anger walking around in there, taking its place, you have sinned against God first, because He gave you your wife, and you've sinned against your wife second. Wives, if you have anger toward your husband, and you let that anger have a root of bitterness, or husbands, if you let it have a root of bitterness, you have sinned against your husband, ladies. Jesus warns us of this very clearly. To be mindful that our hearts are the seedbed of these awful things. Left unchecked by the Word of God according to the Spirit of God dealing with us, the seedbed is there. And that's why we need to be on guard. Constantly on guard in our souls. Against anger. Envy, jealousy, malice. We talk about it in a cultural sense, but here it can apply to a marital sense. Even in this term that's thrown around a lot now, this term emotional abuse, the idea of emotional abuse is more of a clinical construct. Let me tell you, if you are a person that goes around with enmities and strife and jealousy and outbursts of anger and disputes and dissensions and factions and envying and drunkenness, which Paul said, I have forewarned you that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. In other words, if you rant and rave, are cold and distant, or you seek to manipulate or dominate any person with enmity, jealousy, envying, or factiousness, then you're sinning against God. and your actions will likely do mental harm to your neighbor. I don't particularly like the word emotional abuse because it has no definition in our culture. But let me tell you, just think about sin for a moment. When you sin against someone, you can do harm to them mentally. how they function, how they work. Any sin can be that way. That's why we have to be on guard against our sin because first we're sinning against God and we're quite possibly in our sin sinning against others. And anytime we sin against others and it's known sin, sin that can be seen and heard and understood, then we are affecting our neighbor. And for those of us who are married, our first and closest neighbor is our spouse. If you are cold and dismissive of your wife, and then you expect her to be warm to you, Quite frankly, you're immature. Because only a child acts in a way in gross negligence and then expects other people to be right there for them. Isn't that what a little baby does? Just screams and cries any time it wants to. Acts however it wants to when it's one year old. And what does a mother have to do? Come running at any moment. Well, men, quite frankly, sometimes we can act that way and then we want our wives all of a sudden to be warm. It's childish. It's immature. Ladies, we have to be mindful. The fact of the matter is you don't get to choose the context of your submission. Well, if he does this, then I'll do that. Now, I've already addressed the issue of physical abuse. I'm not going to go there again. We're talking about in the normal context of marriage. Husbands and wives have days they just don't see eye to eye. Or maybe hours, I don't know. But there's a biblical way to work through those things, and it's not through envy and malice and jealousy and anger. Those are sinful ways to deal with each other. And if you keep treating each other that way, you will do harm to one another. Maybe not physically, but you will do harm. And it will make a marriage very difficult. Who wants to live with a man who dominates and is always manipulative and quite frankly just acts like a jerk? Who wants to live with a lady who's always nagging, always frustrating, always this, that, the other? The scripture tells us how to live with each other. Ladies, don't be a constant drip. Men, don't treat your wives like they're dirt. Peter in the New Testament and Paul in the New Testament tells us our wives are our fellow heirs in Christ. And they need to be treated as such. And when they're treated as such, you will recognize the love they have for you. Yet ladies, This doesn't take you away from the God-given command, does it? Even if your husband acts like a jerk one day. How do we know this? Well, let's observe two things in closing. Number one, the command for a wife to be submissive directly relates to the created order. God said it was good, which includes the headship of a husband and the submission of a wife to her husband. He said it's good. It directly relates to the created order. I ask you ladies who are married or desire to be married or about to be married, put this in your heads. Submission first and foremost is in the created order. If you hold fast to biblical truth, what you will say is in your mind, I am first going to obey this command to be pleasing to God. He created me as a woman. He gave me a husband and I am one who has been saved in Christ, so therefore I will follow God's commands in a way that is fitting to the Lord because of God's authority. And He's given us these commands in His Word. Secondly and lastly, the command for a wife to be submissive directly relates to gospel living in a household. And in Peter's case, he gives us one very specific instance. Now, there's multiple applications that can be made from other passages, but I want to highlight what Peter says in verse one and two. In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, They may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. Sometimes you ladies have difficult jobs. You take care of homes and houses and you have all types of things going on each and every day. Sometimes your children and your husbands don't recognize those things. Scripture doesn't let you off the hook from submitting. As a matter of fact, it says that your submission is a way to get their attention when they're disobedient to the Word. And specifically in the context of a husband who might be unbelieving. That your actions would be better than your constant words. And as a matter of fact, Paul goes on here to say, or excuse me, Peter goes on here to say very clearly, this is the route you should take. Do the action commanded of you in the right spirit according to Christ so that there will be an effect on your husbands if they are unbelieving. because they will observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Now this doesn't mean that there's not to be some conversation of religion at some point. It doesn't mean that you can't talk to your husband about Christ. And as a matter of fact, if you're in a biblical godly marriage, these two husbands and wives together, they ought to be having biblical conversation. They ought to be having conversation about the things of Christ. But it gives a context in which, ladies, if you think it's your job to always tell your husband how he's supposed to act, and yet you are not walking in biblical submission, then you've missed the point. The point is, you do what Christ has commanded you to do in his word first, And the spirit of God may deal with the soul of your husband through your chaste and respectful behavior, not your words. I think we forget sometimes when we have difficulties in our marriages because of the self-help generation we live in. that we do need to ask the Spirit of God to work in our marriages. And we need to expect that the Spirit of God is able. And Peter says here plainly, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.