Alright friends, thank you for joining us back here again today at the Everlasting Truth broadcast where we give you everlasting truth for an ever-changing world. I hope to be a blessing to you today. The study that we have been in has been quite a challenge. I know for me personally over the years, my study for this broadcast and the series of broadcasts rather we've been doing on this subject, the subject of charity, has not been my first time studying this. This has been a subject that I have kind of come in and out of for several years and has challenged me on almost every time I come to it. What a call it is that we find in this chapter. You know, the world has an idea of love today that's very easily attainable. The world's idea of charity and the world's idea of love is—the bar has been set so low that it's very easy, it's very simple, and that's why we've done that, because we don't want to be challenged in our love. But the biblical idea of love Agape love. Charity, as 1 Corinthians 13 calls it, our text there. It's a love of sacrifice. It is a love that is constantly giving. It is a love that is willing to lay aside one's own self-benefit and self-interest for the betterment of others. And this is the reason that we have so many marriages falling apart. One of the reasons, anyways, is because people are building a marriage on what they think is love, and it's really not love. People use the phrase, well, you know, we got a divorce because we fell out of love, and we just didn't love each other anymore. Well, the Bible says that love in and of itself is long-suffering, it endureth all things. And so if you had a sentiment towards one another that did not endure all things, by definition, that wasn't love. Hollywood might have told you what you had was love. The music industry might have told you what you had was love. The music industry would have you think that some lustful affection or some infatuation with the way somebody looks Or maybe some cultural appropriation or something along those lines constitutes love and this warm, fuzzy feeling. But when we get in the Word of God, we find out that's just simply not true. That's not what love is. Love is a sacrificial commitment. It is a commitment that endures, it promises, and it holds to its promise. And I don't mean promise in the sense that Jesus forbid us from promising and swearing ourselves to do things. I don't mean like that. But I do mean that love is just what I said. It's a commitment. and it holds steadfast, and it endures. And so, you know, our culture needs a challenging on what love actually is. And so, I'm going to stop rambling now, and I'm going to give you what the Word of God says about it. 1 Corinthians 13 is such a precious chapter because it lays out for us a biblical definition of love and a checklist, if you will, that you and I can go back to and find out if our lives really line up with what God has placed in 1 Corinthians 13 and ask the question, Does my love for my spouse look like this? Does my love for my children look like this? Does my love for the lost look like this? And all these different areas, and we can ask ourselves, am I really loving God? Am I loving my neighbor? And find out by examining this passage. And so without further ado, let's do that. Let's begin reading. We'll read just the verses we've been going through for context. That way we know where we're at. So 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and verse number one, the Bible says this. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and have all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind. Charity envieth not. Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth. beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth. And so what God has just done is given you a definition of what love is. And if our apathy, our infatuation, our sympathy, our feelings and emotions towards those that we claim we love does not look like the description of charity in 1 Corinthians 13, then guess what? it's not biblical love. It may be something else, but it's not biblical love. And so let's examine that. We've already started, and we have moved about halfway through verse number four. We're taking our time because I really want to labor these points. But we come to verse number four, and the description begins. And it says, charity suffereth long. We talked about that. It says, and is kind. We talked about that. Charity envieth not. That was yesterday's broadcast. And then today, here's where we begin. Charity vaunteth not itself. Charity vaunteth not itself. Now, that word vaunt is a word that we don't use very often anymore. But it is a word that means basically to elevate oneself, to platform oneself, to put oneself on a pedestal above another. And the Bible says if you're going to have a loving relationship with somebody, that that cannot be the case. And so to the married people, you're not to vaunt yourself above your spouse. And to the single people who are looking for a spouse or looking to be a spouse in the future, then you need to make sure that you're not getting somebody who is going to elevate their own worth and value above your own, and also you need to make sure that you're not elevating your worth and value. You see, we've been raised in a society today where a lot of people have value complexes, and they don't think they're worth anything, and they think they're nobodies, and this, that, and the other, and they've got very damaged ideas of themselves. and they view their self as just wasteful so to speak and somebody like that is going to have trouble functioning in this realm because they're always going to be trying to make up for themselves and not intentionally vaunting themselves but they're going to try to build themselves up and this leads to issues in a marriage or a relationship because by definition love does not vaunt itself. Love doesn't allow one to see themselves as better than the person it loves. And this has challenged me because while I never for a million years would think that I'm better than my wife, there are times where if I'm being honest, I may think that I do something better than her. And in certain areas, I may be better than her at this, that, or the other, and vice versa. I would give the credit that there's things that she's better at than me and whatnot. But love doesn't view things on a performance basis of somebody performing better than you and doing this better than you or you doing better than them. Love doesn't vaunt itself like that. Love doesn't brag. A loving and a charitable marriage is not a marriage where one party is always talking about how they're better than the other party. You know, if you've got a relationship in a marriage, and this is going to step on some toes and it stepped on mine, but if you've got a relationship in a marriage in which you are always fussing at the other member because you do something better than them and they don't do it like you do it, you need to ask yourself the question, am I really loving my spouse? Or maybe you're that way with your children, or whatever it is. Because love does not put itself in an elevated position above those whom it loves. It does not vaunt itself. And this leads in to the next definition of love in verse number four. It says, charity vaunteth not itself, but then it says, is not puffed up. That word puffed up it means inflated and what it gives the idea of is somebody who is inflated and they are full of themselves. They're proud of themselves. They've got a pride issue. And this is where a great deal of issues and fights and arguments come up in a marriage. I would even argue that all of your fights in your marriage come from pride. And you say, well, that's a big statement to make. Well, it's a statement that God made. He said in Proverbs 13 10, only by pride cometh contention. He said, the only reason you have contention in your relationships is because of pride. You know, pride keeps you from admitting when you're wrong. Pride keeps you from accepting when you've been done wrong. And both of those are antithetical to what Jesus taught us in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus taught us in the Sermon on the Mount that we resist not evil, but when we're smitten on the left cheek, we turn the right to them also. Jesus taught us that we don't resist things that rather we give ourselves to them. He said, if a man sue thee at the law and take away thy coat, then give him your cloak also. And so this idea of retaliation because of pride. You know, pride won't let you admit when you're wrong. And Jesus told us to agree with thine adversary whilst thou art in the way with him, lest at any time he deliver thee unto the judge. He says, and then the judge will throw you in jail and you won't come out until you've paid the uttermost farthing. In other words, go ahead, settle the conflict now. Don't sit here and argue and try to prove your case and make yourself look good because the longer you argue, the closer you are in getting to the judge and that judge may not take your side. And it's really going to cost you when he sees you at fault and he charges you. You're better off just to go ahead and humble yourself, settle the conflict now, and not worry about your self-image, so to speak. And so, you can't do that, though, if you're puffed up. If you're prideful, you'll never be able to have somebody point out your wrongdoing, and you'll never accept your wrongdoing. Only by pride cometh contention, but with the well-advised wisdom. All the contention in your marriage and in your relationships is coming from pride. It's puffed up. Charity will eliminate that. Because charity by definition is not puffed up. So this sounds simple and counterintuitive, but it is. But at the same time, it's hard to do. You say, well, I've got an issue with arguing in my marriage. I've got an issue with arguing with my spouse. What do I do? You love more because love is not puffed up. And if you're not puffed up, you won't fight because only by pride cometh contention. The only place the contention in your marriage comes from is pride. So we move on, verse number four, charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. And here's a big one, verse number five. I want to park on this one for a little bit. It doth not behave itself unseemly. Charity does not behave itself unseemly. Now let's talk about what that means. The Greek word behind the phrase, behave itself unseemly, is a word that literally means, get this, to bend out of shape, to be disformed, to take something from its intended form and twist it and alter it and put it in another form. So the Greek word here literally speaks of somebody who has been bent out of shape. You ever done that? Have you ever got bent out of shape at your spouse? That's what it means to behave yourself unseemly. And I know I keep talking about the spouse, and this is not just limited to the spouse. We're to love God, we're to love our neighbor, we're to love the lost, we're to love our spouse, we're to love our kids, we're to love everybody. And so this applies to everybody, but I think the application is so present for spouses and the marriage relationship. And love won't let you get bent out of shape. There have been times where I have got bent out of shape with issues in my family or issues in my home. And it may be that things were genuinely wrong and needed to be dealt with, but you're supposed to deal with things in love. And the moment you get bent out of shape and you don't behave yourself in a seemly fashion, you behave yourself unseemly. It's no longer love. And unloving correction is more than likely going to lead to destruction. I'm not saying you don't correct things, I'm not saying things shouldn't bother you. But, don't get bent out of shape. We need to act as Christ does, even when we're trying to correct problems and things that are wrong or maybe mistreatment or misdoing or something along those lines. Love does not behave itself unseemly. Now, we're moving on quick today. We're coming to verse number five midway. It says, charity does not behave itself unseemly. And then it says, charity seeketh not her own, seeketh not her own. And what that means is that charity is not invested in the desires of one's own self. Charity doesn't cater to one's own desires. It does not seek its own benefit. Remember when Jesus went to Calvary, it was the ultimate example of love. He said, John 15, 13, greater love hath no man than this, that a man laid down his life for his friends, right? A man laying down his life is the greatest picture of love. He said, and our Lord did that. And whenever he laid down his life, because he loved us, was he seeking his own benefit or was he seeking ours? Hey, he was drinking our cup of death so that we could have life. He was taking our negative so that he could give us his positive. He was taking our sin so that we could get his righteousness. He wasn't seeking his own. And you and I, if we're going to love somebody else, then we cannot seek our own. We cannot cater to our own desires. You know, I want to point you to a passage that I think confirms this a little bit. And it's Ephesians chapter number five. And I believe this principle applies to both husbands and wives, but he's speaking specifically to the husband here. And that's the main, the main point we want to make here, but Ephesians 5, 25, the husband is commanded, uh, husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. And so he's commanded to love. But out of that love, God is going to go on and command the husband to cater to his wife, to cherish her, to nourish her, to give her what she stands in need of, to put her interest above his own interest. Look at what it says as we go on, Ephesians 5 26. that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish." Listen to this, verse 28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. You ought to love your wife as much as you love yourself. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. He said, you ought to love your wife to the point where you love her and you cherish her. And he says, when you do that, you're actually loving yourself. But if you want to benefit yourself, you have to benefit your wife first is what he's saying. You can't seek your own. You say, well, what does that look like in application, preacher? It means that before you spend hours researching and studying the next product you want to buy that you desire, and the next thing you're looking at, or the next, let's just use an example that's pretty universal for guys in the South. Before you spend hours researching what gun you're going to buy, or anything of that nature, something you're going to take to the woods, or anything like that, You ought to spend some time seeking out something for her. What does she want? What does she desire? Because love, by definition, does not seek his own. It doesn't seek the things that self desires. It seeks the things that other desire. And he tells the husband that he is to love his wife as he loves himself. And if he wants something for himself, then he ought to want something for his wife. And if he wants to do for himself, then he ought to first do for his wife. And this is not just husband and wife. This is our love towards everybody that love seeks not its own. And so there ought to be an infatuation with doing for others before we do for ourselves because that is what love is. Now, this is a challenge because God knows you love yourself and you and I know we love ourselves. I wish I didn't love me as much as I did, but truth be told, I'm pretty fond of myself. The fact that I love myself is why I get up every morning and I dress myself in a way that I think makes me look good. And I talk in such a way that I think makes me look good. And I carry myself in a way that makes me think I look good. And I feed myself because I want to feel good. And all these different things, I do as a natural response to the natural love for myself that I have. And I'll say this, Jesus never told you to not love yourself. You ought to take care of yourself. But, You ought not love yourself more than you love other people. And that's why the great commandment is love others as you love yourself. Jesus said, listen, I know you love you. I know you do. Husbands, he says, I know you love yourself and you want to do for you. He says, but here's my challenge to you. Love others. as you love yourself. And so if you want to buy yourself something, you ought to want to buy your spouse something. If you want to buy yourself something, you ought to want to buy your children something. Now there are way many more ways that this can flesh out in personal application besides purchasing things with financial means. It's not just a money game we're talking about, but that is one way that it fleshes out. is in our monies. We know that Jesus said, for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. And what you put your money in is a reflection of where your heart's at, right? And so we ought to not be seeking our own if we are truly going to act in love. Now let's move on a little bit more. Verse number five, talking of charity, it says, Death not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own. And then charity is not easily provoked, is not easily provoked. This to me ties in very closely with what he said, uh, in verse number five, the first part where he says, charity doesn't behave itself unseemly. It doesn't get bent out of shape. In verse number five, he says, it's not easily provoked. It's not easily agitated. Let me ask you a question. How easily do you get agitated by your spouse? You get agitated and provoked easily, you're not acting out of love. How easily do you get provoked and agitated by your kids? If you get provoked and agitated pretty easily, then guess what? You're not acting out of love. Because love in and of itself is not easily provoked. It's not easily irritated. Anger is not easily incited in a heart of love. Because love oversees one's faults and it looks at the benefit and it looks at the good of the other individual. That's what Christ did. He looked beyond my fault and he saw my need. And that's what love does. It's not easily provoked. If Jesus would have been easily provoked in his love for us, he would have never went to Calvary. If Jesus could have easily been angered, You and I would not be here because I promise you, you would have pushed all the wrong buttons and I would have pushed all the wrong buttons and he would have finished us off. But he didn't do that, did he? Because he's not easily provoked. I want you to think about all the ways you've sinned against your Savior. You don't even have to backtrack too far. Let's just talk this week. Think about all the ways you've sinned against the Lord Jesus Christ this week. And you're still here, aren't you? seems to me he's not easily provoked. This is the God of heaven that has the power. Jesus said, fear not him who can kill the body, and after that do no more. He said, fear him who has power to kill the body and cast the soul into hell. This is the God-man. This is the one that can give us an eternity in hell. That's who this man is. That is who this God is. He has all authority. He said, Matthew 28, 18, all power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. That's who Jesus is. And yet he has not rewarded us for our iniquity. Psalm 103 says he has been patient to us. He has been gracious to us. He has been kind to us. He's been good to us. He's not easily provoked, is he? And you and I should not be easily provoked either. This is what love is. And so you and I need to ask ourselves, if we find ourselves easily blowing up, losing our cool with our spouse and getting upset with those whom we claim we love, in those moments, We may love them in a broad picture, but in those specific moments, we're not acting out of love. And it's not going to lead to the results that you desire. Because love is the way that we've been called to walk. He said, walk in love even as Christ has loved you. And so that's what we need to be pursuing. Friend, we got a long way to go, don't we? A lot of things in this passage that are challenging. They challenge me. I hope they're challenging your heart. We've been walking through this slowly, just kind of teaching more so, letting it settle in. And I hope that you'll ask yourself the question, am I living up to love? We'll see you next friend. God bless you. Let's strive to love one another. See you next week.