If you'll turn your Bibles to 1 Peter chapter 3. I want you all to know it's not a lost thought in my mind that to feed the sheep of God should not be man-centered. And it's a task that I take very seriously, but I recognize that I'm a man just like you all are. I've got plenty of weaknesses. And so when you deal with a subject like we're dealing with now, speaking of submission, and you speak to ladies, to wives, You want to make sure that people understand you're not speaking on that topic from a perspective of, I'm perfect because I'm not. Nevertheless, it is a scriptural topic and I would not be doing this church proper service to the Lord if I didn't preach those things which are in the scripture. I remember a few years ago, A former pastor of mine had made contact with me and in catching up, he was asking me what I was preaching on at the time. At the time, I was preaching in First Timothy. And he said, well, where are you preaching in First Timothy? I said, well, we're coming to a place to deal with Paul's words about women in the church. And there was this pause on the phone. And he said, you sure are brave. He said, are you worried that you'll get fired? Well, even at that time, it had been a little while since I'd been in the Southern Baptist Church. And I paused a second and I said, well, honestly, no, I'm not worried I'm going to get fired. He said, well, he said, you're serving a different church than most Baptist pastors. He said, you need to be thankful. And so I am thankful that I get to preach the whole council and to preach it faithfully to you all. And I thankfully have been able to preach it by God's grace without fear. And I'm thankful for this body that allows me that opportunity. So when we come to topics like this, I don't take them on without understanding that These are topics that hit right at the core of the very being of individuals. So to speak, as the old pastor says, it stomps on our toes a little bit. But it's in the scripture for a reason, and it's there for our guidance and for our understanding. And last week, we really dove into the topic in the prescription and the commandment itself and the background of that commandment to be submissive. This week we're going to go further to look at some of the specifics in more detail of what Peter is talking about in the particulars of submission itself. So I want to read verses 1 through 5 of 1 Peter 3. In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry or putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way, in former times, the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. When you come to a topic like this, it's often couched in a way that people look at the word submission from a cultural background. And we've already noted there's a biblical background to everything Peter is saying. When he talks about submission, he's looking at it from a biblical context. But notably, in verse The end of verse 1 and verse 2, he begins to focus on the specifics of something very important to what he's dealing with in the churches he's writing to. Because he wants wives to be very careful about how they function in dealing with the things of Christ in their own homes. The first and foremost thing, of course, is submission, but it's submission in a way that is measured and careful in word and indeed in action. And so therefore, in verse two he says, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Now we're going to answer a couple of questions this morning. And the first question is, what are the definitions of chaste and respectful behavior? Now, first of all, we would want to look at the words chaste and respectful, but really we need to note the word behavior, because those two words are really modifying the one word. And the word behavior is the idea of how do you conduct yourself. It tells us there is continuing action expressed in the life of the people addressed. And in this passage, Wives are specifically addressed by Peter. Now as we go through this, you'll note there's some very specific things said to wives. But you'll also note, in some of my explanation of it, there is application that can be given to all Christians. And you need to note that as we walk through some of the things that are pointed out this morning. Even though wives specifically are being spoken to and being given some specific command and direction, the outworking of those ideas are beneficial to all Christians. So when you see the idea of conduct and behavior, shouldn't all Christians have some concern for their conduct and behavior? Secondly, these two modifying words, one of them is the word that's translated here in the NAS, chaste. Some of your other versions may use the word pure. And that's probably a little better translation in the context because often the modern reader hears the word chaste and thinks of that in a sexual context. And it certainly has that to some degree in the meaning of the word. But the word used here in this place, particularly in Peter's letter, has a more holistic meaning. It's the word pure, both in ceremonial and in spiritual sense. The word has a connection with the idea of holiness. You may have heard a pastor use the word hagios, the Greek word, and this has that connection with it, holiness, purity. Let your pure and respectful behavior be observed by your husband. The word respectful is the idea of respect or reverence. It has the sense of wives living respectfully with and unto their husbands. If you genuinely respect someone, you will give them deference. You will give them some type of honor if you genuinely respect them. We see the sense of this word throughout scripture. This is not the only place this word is used because it has the context of the word being used in fearing God, giving reverence unto God. Certainly you can't treat your husband like he is God. That would be false worship. But you can respect him as the husband that God gave to you. And ladies, it's important. Husbands, it's important for you to recognize God gave you your spouse. So when there are commands given to us in our marriages, those commands begin at a place of recognizing God gave my wife or my husband to me. So therefore, when I read scripture that pertains to me as a spouse to that person, I am honoring that command on the basis that God has done this. He has given me my spouse. and He has given me commands on how to interact with my spouse. So to interact with my spouse in any other way than that which is in accordance which God commanded is to say to God, I don't want to honor you. There's a reciprocating context to this, to the husbands in Peter's writing in verse 7. Husbands are to honor their wives as fellow heirs of the grace of life. Peter's not just here singling out wives and saying, you've got all these things you've got to do, and husbands can just do whatever they want whenever they want. That's not what he says. When he asks for us to pay attention closely, he's speaking to husbands and wives. To wives, he's saying, have respectful behavior toward your husband. He's saying to husbands, honor your wives as fellow heirs of the grace of life. They may be the weaker vessel in flesh and body, but they are your fellow heir in Christ. And you must treat them as such. And to do so, to not do so, is sin against God. So we see these definitions. Secondly, though, what are some of the means of chaste and respectful behavior? What are some of the means of chaste and respectful behavior? Well, under that second question, there's important language that's given to us. Wives, let your words be measured regarding Christian concerns to a disobedient or unbelieving husband. Wives, let your words be measured regarding Christian concerns to a disobedient or unbelieving husbands. Think about it. Think about what you're about to say. Measure your words carefully. Measured words may be none, and Peter prescribes that here, because he says your conduct is important. You may win them without a word. Measured words may be few, but this ought to be obvious. Measured words are never too many. This goes, has an application for all of us in a sense. When we want to really get someone's attention because we think they really need to understand this, Sometimes what we will do is just keep harping, keep talking, keep saying, keep going over it, over it, and over it, and at them, and at them again. That not only can happen with a wife to a husband who's either disobedient to the Word or unbelieving, but it can happen with a parent to a child who's unbelieving. An adult child who's unbelieving. You keep going at them, and at them, and at them. The prescription here for this wife or wives is to have measured words. And measured words a lot of times mean you think about it to the place that you say, you know what, I just need to act out that which is true. I think we would agree that most of the time, if we think carefully a lot of times about what we're going to say, we will recognize that there are times we just don't need to say anything, we just need to live it out. In this case, for wives, to have pure and respectful behavior toward God, first and foremost, which would bring about that behavior toward your husband. And that application can be made in different ways. It gives us some understanding of what Peter is putting a cross when he says that they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives. Wives, if your husband is disobedient to God's word and commands or if he is unbelieving, who will ultimately change your husband? Only God can change your husband. Only God can change the soul of any person. So wives, too many and especially too many unmeasured words are likely to be more harmful than they are good. Please do not resort to trying to change your husband in your own willpower and wrong ways. Think about how this can be an application in all of life. that child or that co-worker or that friend, you really want them to come to Christ. If you're just hammering that person all the time, just hammering on them, what effect is it more likely to have? Does it mean that we don't use measured words to an unbelieving child or an unbelieving friend? It doesn't mean that we don't use these measured words in ways that can be helpful, but a lot of times, once we measure our words out, we probably come to a place that we're better off to use our words to pray that God would change them. And in praying that God would change them, we ought to pray that God would also help us to live a pure and respectful life to God before them. So you see the call here to wives can have an application in all of Christian life. Husbands, if your wives are not submissive to you and the Lord, who will ultimately change them? Only God can do that. Husbands who try to dominate their wives by coldness or sharp words or sometimes even anger outwardly or inwardly. There are some people, you don't know they're angry on the outside, but on the inside they are just steaming. If you try to dominate your wives in your inward anger, or especially in physical violence, you need to understand this is ungodly. And it's not going to cause your wife to submit to you unto the Lord. It's going to cause your wife to create animosity in her soul and resentment. And when there's animosity and resentment, there will not be respectful and pure behavior. Do you think you can just say whatever you want to whenever you want to, then you're not honoring your spouse? If you think you can make a snide remark to your wife and think that is acceptable, then you are dishonoring God and you have sinned against Him. Just because God has prescribed and commanded your wife to submit to you doesn't mean you and I get to say whatever we want, whenever we want to. It doesn't mean that. Because that's not honoring our wife as a fellow heir in Christ. If she's a true fellow heir in Christ, we ought to treat her respectfully and kindly in the grace that God has shown us. Secondly, with the issue of measured words, measured words are often the result of a meek and quiet spirit. Measured words are often the result of a meek and quiet spirit. Now this is one of Peter's emphasis here, when he deals with this, he actually uses adornment as a type of illustration. But in using it as an illustration, he says, you know, he's not outlawing adornment here, but he's saying, look, there's something greater at hand. There's the hidden person of the heart. He says, let it be. with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious unto God that you show your respect and your pure behavior to your husband. So measured words are often the result of a meek and quiet spirit. How are you going to have measured words? Do you have measured words by just saying whatever you want whenever you want? Some years ago We were at the ball field, and I literally witnessed this wife and husband just go at it in front of everybody at a ball field. And it started with an argument, and both of them all of a sudden got to the place where they just thought they could say anything and everything they wanted to to each other in front of God and everybody. And this is no joke. Before it was over, baseball bats were pulled out. You're sitting there going, what just happened? But see, there was not a meek and quiet spirit. There was not something there guarding those words. That was just the loose tongue of the flesh. I'll say whatever I want. You made me mad. You said an ugly thing to me. You hurt my feelings. You talk to me this way. You disrespected me. I'll say what I want. And before they knew it, it was everywhere. And we would hope that hasn't happened in our own homes. But we have to know that anger is real. And if we're going to have measured words, it's going to come from the result of a meek and quiet spirit. Not one trying to get their thought in. Not one trying to be argumentative and get their point across. According to scripture, meekness is not weakness. When Peter talks about a meek spirit here, meekness is not weakness. I've got a couple of these books on order. They haven't come in yet, and you can look at it online if you've never read it. But Matthew Henry wrote a book entitled The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit. It's very good work because it stems from these passages, but he shows how the idea of meekness and quietness of spirit is a biblical thought throughout the whole of Scripture, and it goes to application all over Scripture. And speaking of meekness not being weakness, Matthew Henry says the work of meekness is to calm the spirit so as that the inward peace may not be disturbed by an outward provocation. No doubt a man may express his displeasure against the miscarriages of another as much as at any time there is occasion for. without suffering his resentments to recoil upon himself and throw his own soul into fury. Now, it takes something on the inside of us to have that kind of a strength to restrain ourselves not to say something. That's not weakness. Meekness is not weakness. Meekness has a strength with it that you and I are not disturbed of soul to the point that not only we lash out at someone else, but in our own souls we can stand and think about what is being said and done and have measured thought and words that we don't lash out at that person and at the same time that meek spirit is not in turmoil on the inside. It's the spirit of God that gives that kind of strength to a person's soul. That they can stand and listen to constructive criticism and not just on the outside have a face that's not angry, but on the inside they're not in turmoil. Torn up about it. And we all know that's difficult, right? We all know it's difficult to take criticism from someone. We all know it's difficult when it's not criticism. Someone just lashes out at us and says something that shouldn't have been said, or they said something ugly, or said something wrong, or accuses us of something falsely. Those things can be killers on the inside. But it's meekness by the Spirit of God that gives us the strength to deal with that inside out. Meekness is not weakness. A lot of people think, well, that meek person, they just get run over all the time. No, the genuinely meek person is the one who has been given strength by God through his spirit to stand and be measured and thoughtful. These are difficult things and not one of us can say that we've attained all of them. But we should be striving in it. Wives, you should strive in this meekness of spirit in dealing with your husbands. Certainly we have an example of this meekness in the person of Christ on this earth. Think of all the things that were said and done against Him. And think of how He responded. Well, He was certainly sinless. So we know He responded in true meekness. Will we fulfill that perfectly? No, but we ought to be striving in it by God's grace. The trouble for us and meekness, as Matthew Henry notes in an illustration, he says, man's corrupt nature has made him like the wild donkey, used to the wilderness, or the swift wild camel traversing her ways. But the grace of meekness, when that gets dominion in the soul, alters the temper of it, submits it to management, and now the wolf dwells with the lamb, and the leopard lies down with the kid or the goat, and a little child may lead them. For enmities are laid aside, and there is nothing to hurt or destroy. If our marriages are working this way and wives are working this way in the home, then that ought to be worked out in the church. It ought to be worked out in our everyday life. Peter goes further, though, in answering this question, what are some methods of chaste and respectful behavior? He gives us that word, meekness, and we know to some degree we have to say it's not weakness, there's a certain strength that the Spirit of God gives to the soul of a person. Because in that meekness it helps us to have measured words and sometimes just to keep from saying something that we shouldn't. Every one of us has been in a situation where we were confronted with a particular instance to where at the end of the day we know We just shouldn't have said anything. But we did. Our mouths opened wide. Sometimes what we thought we were saying, we thought it needed to be said. Maybe some of the content did need to be said, just not in that way. But it spewed forth We have to remember these measured words come from the Spirit of God through giving us meek spirit. Wives, giving you a meek spirit to deal with a husband who's disobedient to the Word of God. These measured words are the result of a meek spirit, but it leads us to a second point under this question. Wives, let your actions and words reflect the meekness of a regenerate soul. You know what meekness really comes from is the regenerate soul. When Peter gives this prescription, he can't divorce it from what God has done in salvation. As a matter of fact, if you go back and you look at the whole of the letter, he's giving them the gospel throughout this letter before he comes to this practical section. The pure and the respectful behavior are what is commanded in Christ. To have a meek and quiet spirit is commanded in Christ. But those things are the reflection of a regenerate soul. Unregenerate people either will not reflect this truth at all, or they will reflect it on the outside, but on the inside they are just in total turmoil. And if they are unregenerate, they will never repent of these things. Wives, if you have shown yourselves not to be meek, not to be pure in your behavior, respectful in your behavior, If you are regenerate, you'll repent of it. And you'll turn to Christ that you would act differently. But that application can be made for husbands who don't honor their wives as a fellow heir. You need to repent of it. If you're a believer, you will. And you will ask the Lord to give you a heart to act differently. That goes for our dealings with each other. Whether that be in the home or at work or here at church or wherever it may be. If we as Christians have impure behavior and conduct toward other people, if we're truly believers, we will be convicted of that as sin and we will ask forgiveness, we will repent to the Lord. And we'll also speak to others. Peter wants us to see that these actions are a direct reflection of a regenerate soul. To be meek is to be in submission. to that which God has commanded. To have a quiet spirit is to be in submission to that which God has commanded. That means, first of all, to be a changed person who loves God through Christ is to submit to God's authority. If you're going to have a meek spirit and quiet spirit toward anyone, but especially a husband who is disobedient or unbelieving, you first of all have to submit to God's authority in your life. The problem most of the time with our working out these things is we do it from a basis of trying to just figure it out on our own, not stopping, repenting of our own sin and asking that God would give us strength to strive in these things by the power of the Spirit. And the reason we would try to enact any of these commands on our own power is because we're not submitting to the authority of God. The reason that we would not want to act in these ways is because we don't want to submit to the authority of God. Wives, if you do not have a desire to be pure and respectful in your behavior to your husband, then what you're saying is, I don't want to submit to the authority of God. When we don't want to submit to the commandments of God, what we say is, honestly, we don't want to submit to God's authority. In submission, Henry says, there is first a meekness towards God, and it is the easy and quiet submission of the soul to his whole will, according as he is pleased to make it known. If we're going to talk about submission and quietness and meekness of spirit, we first have to understand it's to God. It's a meekness towards God. It is the easy and quiet submissionness of our soul to His whole will. Are you submitted to the will of God? Wives, particularly here in these verses, are you submitted to the will of God, whatever it may be? That goes for all of us as Christians is to ask that of ourselves. Are we really submitted to the will of God? Are we still trying to fight against it? I'm going to make my own will. I'm going to do it my way. That's a battle you'll never win. God's will will always win. Secondly, to be a changed person who loves God through Christ is to submit to God's commands. If you're going to submit to His authority, then you're going to submit to His commands. Matthew Henry says, it is the silent submission of the soul to the Word of God, the understanding bowed to every divine truth, and the will to every divine precept. Do you read the Word of God and constantly argue with it? Lives where it's difficult and you read passages like this, do you read it and just consistently argue against it? If you argue against His commands, Biblical commands, I'm not talking about when somebody perverts God's commands, I'm talking about God's Biblical commands here. When you argue against it, You're not only arguing against the command, you're arguing against God's authority. But if we bow to the Word of God and its divine truth, this is another way that that meek and quiet spirit is engrafted in us. If we're taking in the Word of God, we're bowing to it as the divine truth of God, the Spirit of God is dealing with our spirit and that Word engrafted in us is even furthering our understanding and growth in being very careful in chaste or pure and respectful behavior. Wives for you to your husbands. But that goes for any of us. We want to teach our children to be respectful in their behavior, don't we? How can a child learn if that child's mother is never respectful in the home? If a father is never respectful of anything but his own ideas, what will he teach the child about living in the world and even in the church? If all we do as husbands is fight against this and fight against that, and we fight against God's word, what are we teaching our children? We need to teach our children to submit to the word of God. And we do that by submitting to it ourselves. Endearing that meek and quiet spirit by the word of God, or through the word of God by the spirit. Thirdly, to be a changed person who loves God through Christ is to submit to God's providence. Sometimes providence is really, really difficult. There are difficult providences in life. Many of you, you know, you've been through them. Do we submit to them? Sometimes our spouse is not what they should be in Christ. Sometimes we have spouses that are just plain unbelieving. That's a difficult providence, isn't it? It's a very hard providence to go through to have a spouse who's disobedient to the Word of God or just plain out unbelieving? Can you biblically submit to that in Christ, in a meek and gentle spirit? Or are you going to kick and fight against it and fight against the authority of God and His commands and in Providence? Truth be told, all of us as spouses, really, how many of us have a spouse who's perfect? Don't raise your hands. No spouse is perfect. Some spouses are easier to deal with than others, thank goodness, but no spouse is perfect. The question is, how are we going to live with one another in our homes? There's specific biblical commands for wives to have chaste and respectful behavior. And it not just to be something to be shown on the outside in adornment, but that it to be something from the very inside, the core of their being, an imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. Sometimes that meekness and quietness is just in silence. Think about Aaron and his two sons and all that took place when they brought strange fire before the Lord, which God had not commanded. And the scripture says, and fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them and they died before the Lord. Then Moses said to Aaron, now think about this, Moses has to come to Aaron and tell Aaron what has taken place Moses says, it is what the Lord spoke, saying, by those who come near me, I will be treated as holy, and before all the people, I will be honored. So Aaron, therefore, kept silent. He endured a very hard providence without a word. He looked to live rightly before God. I think we could all agree that Christianity would be a lot better off if people would say less and live a Christ-like life before men. Because we have a whole lot of people that profess to be believers and yet the way they live with each other and the world looks nothing like what the scripture describes. Even in Bible study this morning we talked about it. Churches that take on the identity of the world and not the truth of the scripture. Churches are supposed to live out that which the scripture commands, to teach it and live it out. Same is true in our homes. Well, I want to leave you with three observations. Number one, recognize that genuine submission begins with submitting to God in Christ. Wives, if you want to ask how in the world am I going to submit, you're not going to submit unless you have genuinely submitted to God through Christ Jesus. That's the only way it's going to happen. Have you seen your sin for what it is? Have you understood that you have sinned against God and you are in need of Christ Jesus as your Savior and Lord? Him alone to save you from your sin? And you have repented. And when you repent of your sin, you know what you are saying? I submit to you God in Christ that I cannot save myself. Genuine submission for wives and really for anyone begins with submitting to God in Christ. Secondly, recognize that genuine submission begins with submitting to God's commands. And particularly here, one of God's commands is for wives to submit to their husbands. Now last week I was very plain. When a husband perverts something to the point that he takes things out on his wife that he should not, I've already spoken to that. That's not what I'm talking about. True biblical submission has nothing to do with abuse. Those two don't coincide. What we're talking about is biblical submission here in the context of what the scripture understands. If your husband is going against the sixth commandment, Call the authorities. But if your husband is cold sometimes, maybe even manipulative in his words, spend time in prayer before the Lord asking that your words be measured. Spend time in prayer before the Lord asking that the Lord would change his heart and his soul. All of us at one time or another in marriages are going to say things to each other that we should not say. We're probably going to say something to someone about our spouse that we shouldn't say. It's plain that the scripture teaches one of God's commands is submission. Submission to Him, submission through Christ, And your husband is supposed to submit to God too. But wives have been commanded to submit to their husbands. And husbands have been commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and he died for her. That's a commandment, man. It's a commandment. Thirdly, recognize that genuine submission begins with submitting in meekness and quietness of spirit. Remember, meekness is an inherent strength provided through the word by the Holy Spirit, where the soul of a person does not live in constant turmoil over everything around them. And for wives, you don't live in constant turmoil with your husbands and inwardly with whatever your husbands may do. Husbands, that doesn't give you license, though. Well, you gotta be meek. If you think that way, you've got some serious problems. Some serious problems. But genuine submission begins with submitting in meekness and quietness of spirit to God, to his commands, and even to his providence. We need to be thoughtful because when the scripture speaks to someone particular like wives or husbands, there's always application to every Christian. Be thoughtful of what the Lord gives us in his word. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, you've been merciful once again. And we could have a day to worship you, hearing your word read and preached, singing songs and psalms and hymns that remind us of your word, praying unto you, calling out to you, according to the truth of your word. Lord, will you give us spirits of meekness and gentleness to walk before you and to walk before man and to walk before each other in our homes? Will you establish this in the wives that they would long to live according to your truth? Lord, will you establish in husbands. A desire to genuinely love their wives. As Christ loved the church and died for her. That we would show these things to our children. And we would stop letting the world teach them what a marriage looks like. And start showing them what Christ has done in marriage. It's in the name of the Lord Jesus we pray, amen.