in your Bibles to the second page, page 2 in the Bibles in your pew. There you're going to find Genesis chapter 2, of which we're going to read a few verses. We're going to finish We've read these verses previously, but now we're going to read them again. Having last week read the verses 4 through 15, or 4 through 17 rather, we're now going to read the verses 18 through 25 with a particular concern to much of what is said, but certainly to the second half of verse 18 and to what follows concerning the wife. Genesis 2, we're going to read it, verse 18, but first we're going to ask the Spirit's blessing upon our reading. Shall we pray? Gracious God and Father, your word is truth. Our hearts are lies. Your word is light. Our minds are darkened. Your word is life, there is death in our spirits. So we pray, Lord, as only you are able, by your spirit now, convict, comfort, challenge, and call all of us by your word. For we ask it in Jesus' name. Amen. Genesis 2 at verse 18, hear the word of God. The man gave names to all livestock into the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. And while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. And the man said, this is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And the man and the wife were both naked and were not ashamed. That's for the reading of God's holy word. May he bless that to us now. Brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ our Lord and to those guests who are among us we are in the midst of a series of sermons on marriage. We have considered a number of points. The purpose of marriage generally it is to advance the kingdom of God. It's a temporary blessing that will end at Christ's return. We've also seen that it is an institution that requires the redeeming work of Jesus Christ. We've seen that in the call to all members of the church to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. More recently, we talked about the role of husband and how the role of husband is to lead all of creation, to lead all of life, including his wife and children, in the praise of the King's great glory. He's the choir director. He is the one that leads the architect, the one that designs and develops in order that the praise of God may issue forth from all the earth. And now we're going to listen to and consider what it means for a wife to serve, to minister, to fulfill her calling in the context of marriage. And already we might find ourselves just in that at odds with the world around us, maybe even some of us here this afternoon. To have a man tell women what they should do is contrary to the ethos of our culture. To do so in a religious ceremony and in a religious way such that failure to obey this means that you are lost, ungodly, damned, in some way punished is even worse. Everything about this service, everything about this message is in the minds of our world what is wrong with Christianity. What is wrong with the church and its patriarchal systems is evidence of its misogyny and should be completely condemned. And that is understandable, given the worldview, given the spirit that inhabits our culture at this time, a spirit and a culture that is not from the Lord, but that is contrary to the Lord. For the Lord and His will for wives is far better Far more gracious, far more good, indeed far more wonderful than the world can understand. Indeed, as church, we are to look to our wives, to our mothers as the standard bearers of how we as Christians are to live. Do not miss that the Apostle Paul calls wives in Ephesians 5 to emulate the church, to show the church what it means to be church. For just as the church glorifies, serves, and submits to her king joyfully and willingly, so too wives are called to submit to their husbands. And we are given a vision of what that means here in Genesis 2, especially at verse 18b and following, where the wife, created by God for the man, for the husband, is described as helper. We are here in the arena of roles. Let's not miss that. We're not in the arena of worth or value. To say that a woman is merely a helper is to utterly misunderstand the message of the Bible. Both men and women, as Genesis 1 makes clear, are equally image bearers of God. They are equally glorious and privileged. They are equally children of the Most High God and equally called to fulfill the dominion mandate. They are of equal value and worth. They are a king and a queen in the kingdom of our God. But their tasks are not the same. That's what we're talking about. What is the task? They are equal in every respect, but their roles are unique. Their roles are distinctive. They're complementary. The role of men, as we've already seen, is to lead all of creation and praise to their creator and to develop and advance the kingdom of God until it spans the whole world and the world praises its God. In fact, we've seen that this responsibility is the responsibility of all humanity, which men are to ensure takes place at work, in society, and in their homes. But it is in relationship to that work of advancing the kingdom of God, that's the overall purpose of marriage, the advancement of the kingdom of God, that God now assigns to women, to the wife particularly, her role. He says, here's how I want you to serve in my kingdom." I want you to be the helper to fulfill the role of helper to the husband of queen to his king. Now already given the culture we live in we're defensive. Helper sounds like a rather diminishing term. At one point, maybe even now, who knows, Keturah has a little onesie she can wear that says, Daddy's little helper. That's the way we tend to use that word in a diminutive sense. Oh, you can be my helper. You can get the tools for me. We wonder then, immediately, as we hear God describe the role of women as helper, why can't women lead? Why can't women be given a position of greater authority? Why are they placed in a second class position relative to men? So we find ourselves wondering already from the very beginning how God can be so disrespectful to one he claims to love so much. And indeed, if we could convince ourselves that women were placed in a second class position by God, Maybe we'd have a reason to complain. Unfortunately that's just what our culture believes or fortunately that's the only thing that our culture tells us the Bible teaches when in fact it does not. For being a helper certainly in the economy of God is no second class position. This has already been displayed in the division of roles presented in the story of creation. In Genesis 1 verse 1, we meet the Spirit of God who hovers over the waters. Hovering here has the idea of fluttering like a bird, like a hen, a mother bird who hovers over her young in the nest. That's how it's used in Deuteronomy 32 verse 11. The Spirit of God here is presented to us as someone who is nursing, someone caring for, preserving the unordered material out of which all of creation would come. Thus, as the Father calls forth the various elements of creation, it is the Spirit who helps him bring these things into existence. Thus, in John chapter 16 verse 7, the Holy Spirit is described for us, is called by God, Jesus Christ himself, as the helper. They're not helper in terms of creation, but in terms of redemption. But nonetheless, in the same way, fulfilling, accomplishing, bringing into reality the plan and purpose of God so that it might be established forever. Indeed, the rest of Scripture confirms that the word helper is a word used to describe God. We've already sung it twice in Psalm 90 and just recently in Psalm 54. Indeed, in many verses of Scripture, God is called our helper. In Psalm 10, verse 14, he's called the helper of the fatherless. And in Psalm 30, verse 10, as we sang, we cried out, God, be my helper. Even as we sang in Psalm 54, God is my helper. We could also turn to Hebrews 13, verse 6, and read these powerful words. We can confidently say, the Lord is my helper. I will not fear what can man do to me. So if we're going to make the word helper a negative word, if we're going to accuse God of some malfeasance, of something wrong, if we're going to say it is a diminishment of the woman, then we must acknowledge that God himself accepts that diminishment, that God applies it to himself, and that God accepts that diminishment. That would be foolish to say, wouldn't it? God does not diminish himself or his creation in any way when he describes the roles that he assigns to each. He says to the woman, I want you to reflect me. I want you to show my character in your home. I want you to display this dynamic of my self-revelation. I want you to be the helper. This identification with how the Lord blesses his people provides a far more and profoundly wholesome perspective on the role of wives within marriage. We could, of course, take some time to provide a detailed list of what wives should do in marriage. That wouldn't do us any good. That wouldn't help us in any way. It would only cause us bitterness and frustration. Then our husbands would say, you heard you had to do this. And our wives would say, I don't have to do that. It wasn't in the list. But what we can do is we can stop and say, how should a wife orient herself? How should a wife perceive her role, her responsibility within the home? And there are some lovely general truths that can be delineated for wives in the light of God's word at the creation of the very first wife. The focus of their work is the advancement of the kingdom of God. That is what God makes clear. That is the overall task that unites both husband and wife, both man and woman, in their marital relationship. Indeed, the dominion mandate given to both was to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and subdue it. God would have his world brought under the reign and rule of his creation for the glory of his name. Their unique contribution to this work is described as helping, which means or has the added sense of help bring about. Which is why we're hardly surprised to learn that one of the great ways in which wives help advance the kingdom of God is by bringing forth children and raising them in the service of the king, not to the exclusion of husbands, of course not. But it is indeed a unique privilege and blessing, one that grieves us when it is kept from us, that our wives may bear children and bring forth life. Indeed, in that is not the power of God most keenly seen and the work and role of wives most wonderfully displayed, not exclusively, not only, But nonetheless, they're bringing forth, even as the Spirit of Christ did at the beginning, the reality of this life. What a blessing it is to be in that way, one who patterns themselves after the work of God. Now, that's not the full extent at all of the wife's role. For in all areas that her husband is called to advance the kingdom of God, in those areas, she's to help him. That is, she's to help him discern the will of God for their lives, which requires conversation, which requires debate and discussion, which requires learning and help. By helping our husband not only discern the will of God, but by applying it and bringing it to pass in concrete and tangible ways. Sometimes in this fallen world, that may mean helping her husband serve the Lord by challenging him, by telling him to smarten up, to get his focus back on the Lord. Sometimes it's by encouraging him and by saying what you're doing is indeed great. Let's keep doing this. Indeed, one of the great ways in a vital way that a wife helps her husband is by maintaining a God-centered focus within their home. So that both of them serve not themselves, which is our temptation, but their Savior who has purchased us. Now what does that kind of help look like in a relationship? What does it look like practically? Well, it certainly can mean maintaining a home so that the husband is able to go forth and serve within the creation, advancing the kingdom of God. But in our part of the world, it also can mean working diligently at the tasks that our husbands have. We see wives running grain wagons back and forth from the fields, helping out with the chores on the farm, and maintaining the family finances. To limit a wife's help to her husband into one area of his work is to misunderstand the Lord's grand and glorious vision. Indeed, once again, read Proverbs 31 without using it as the standard for every wife. There is a lot in that chapter that involves more than just doing laundry and keeping the kids clean. The point is this, that a husband and a wife as a unit are called and created by God for the purpose of advancing his kingdom. The husband by leading, asking questions like, how can I advance the kingdom of God? How can we together bring glory to God? and the wife in helping, asking the question, how can I help advance the kingdom of God? How can I help us glorify God more fully? Each in their unique tasks and with their unique gifts and talents, but both in concert and in mutual support. This is the calling of God to wives from the beginning. And so often when it comes to the question of men and women's role within society and in marriage, this kingdom focus is lost, replaced by a more self-centered view. Because too often we begin, as men particularly, asking of those women that we might find attractive, that we might consider as suitable candidates for wives, We ask ourselves, what do I want? What do I find attractive? What can help me succeed and thrive? And those aren't altogether in themselves bad questions when asked in the right context. But too often the context is not kingdom-focused, God-centered, Christ-glorifying. It is rather, how can this human being exist for my happiness? And the irony is, we all know how devastating such self-centeredness is in any relationship, and especially and abundantly in marriage. When we put ourselves first, whether that's wife or husband, not only do we fail to imitate Christ, who did not come to be served, but to serve, but we necessarily will put others down and diminish their worth and their value, their gifts and their talents. In marriage, where oneness is the promise and the joy selflessness, Selfishness and self-centeredness are devastating and destructive. Indeed, after our wedding day, how quickly don't even we, who are surrounded by such godly examples, who are blessed in such generational ways, how often don't we? 20 minutes into our marriage, come to discover that all of that selfishness that got us to this place is destroying the very thing that we've entered into. And while we're always keen on the other doing their part, insisting that if our spouse were better, our marriage would be better, the truth is we do better to look into the mirror and ask, Am I demonstrating a commitment to my Redeemer? Is my home a kingdom focused home? And if it's not, what am I doing about it? Whether I'm the husband or the wife. And we ought to rejoice. In these provisions and these gifts we ought to celebrate this grace of God to us. Indeed that's the very first cause of celebration in all of Scripture. The very first song of Scripture is a wedding song, is a song sung by the man after he received from the Lord his bride. Though it is somewhat obvious when the Lord says, I will make him a helper fit for him. It is only the Lord who can fulfill that plan and purpose that was at least in part. One of the reasons man was called to name the animals. In naming the animals, man does at least begin his work of leadership, of exercising authority over all creation, bringing them to praise God together. But we discover in verse 20 that the overriding reason for God's having made man or commending man to name all the animals was that there was no helper found fit for him. Fit, meaning matching, equal to, meaning one who met him in exactly the way that he needed to be met. And how then could there arise, who then could provide, who then could give to man the helper that he desperately needs? The answer, of course, is only God, obviously. But we ought to reflect on what that means as husbands and as wives. We ought to realize that in this context, our God provides the best suited woman for this man. We should not imagine, as we read Genesis 1 and 2, that the man and the woman are somehow generic human beings, whatever that would mean. They were just like us, very specific individuals with very unique characteristics and traits, with strengths and weaknesses. They complemented each other. They needed each other. But we should also remember that the Lord does not do anything haphazardly or carelessly. He does not make any mistakes or errors in anything he does certainly not in the creation week. Which is only to say that we can be absolutely certain and confident that when God brought forth this woman for this man he gave to this man the perfect wife. He gives to Adam exactly the woman he needs. And there is in this something we need to discern. Of course, it is unique, without question. The Lord does not provide wives in this way anymore. But the principle remains the same. Whether husband or wife, the one whom we seek in marriage must always be the one whom the Lord would provide. Indeed, if we are to seek a partner in life, we ought to begin in prayer. We ought to begin saying, Lord, open my eyes to see the one whom you would have me serve with. Make me to know your choice for me. Indeed, consider how vital that is in light of what would follow in Genesis 2 and 3. Fairly quickly hereafter, men and women are in a deserted wilderness, huddled together out of necessity in the cold darkness outside of paradise. And before that moment, man threw his wife under the bus, and then the wife blamed the devil, and there was nothing but animosity and disunity. You can imagine then the man grumbling there that night saying, God, why would you ever give to me this woman? Or the woman saying, God, why would you ever make me the wife of this man? Indeed, how often don't we hear that in the struggles and strains of marriage? How often do we not hear the foolish, godless, and wicked spirit of men saying, I never loved her. I never valued him. I never truly felt the spark with him. In the fall into sin, blame is thrown onto everyone except the one who sins. But to the question. But to question rather the choice of his wife was to question the wisdom, kindness and plan of God. For God made no mistake in giving this woman to this man. God does everything well and for a reason. And it's easy to say that we should seek the Lord's help in finding a partner. How do we find the one to whom the Lord would have us marry? And that's particularly true now for women, for wives, for we considering the roles of wives. How do you find a man who will lead you, who will lead you well? So much of our lives as women will be affected by that one choice of who we marry. So how do we decide who we should marry? There are no easy answers, of course, no message from the heavens that gives us the name or the address of our spouse. And some spouses seem like they're to be perfect and are not. And some seem like they'll fail miserably but turn out to be very excellent. Thus, as much as we'd like an easy answer as to who we ought to marry and who we ought to help, the answer is not easily found. There are some wise principles, of course. Again, we should always begin with prayer. We should seek the Lord's counsel and face, God, who would you have me marry? And then we ought to ask our parents. We ought to speak to our mom and dad and say, this is a big decision. I need help in it. Can you give me some wisdom? Speak to your friends. Do you think this would be a good match? Do you think this is a good situation? So often our own self-awareness is so poor that we can't see the truth that's often right before our eyes. And too often people say, I knew it wasn't going to last. I never said to this person, this friend, this child, it's not a good idea. This one's going to go badly. We ought to ask the people around us, what do you think? And we ought to also seek those that value the Lord. A spouse that loves and serves the Lord, that seeks to advance his kingdom and his work in service to him. A spouse that puts Christ first will, by necessity, bless us. Because they will serve the king who says, bless your spouse. It is never God's desire that we marry someone who doesn't put him first. He knows where that leads. He knows the sorrow that that brings. And so he says, marry the one whom I have transformed from their selfishness to selflessness, from their pride to humility, from their demand to be served to their spirit of service. Marry a spouse, seek a man, young women, who loves Christ more than you. For then he will love you deeply. And we have to also recognize in general that the Lord works through ordinary means. The one that the Lord has for us may not be known to us at this moment, but they're probably not hidden somewhere. We have to go find them. They're in our part of the world, more likely. They're in our community, undoubtedly. They're probably in our friend group or the web of lives that we live, that we belong to. And we ought to trust that the Lord will bring them to us and not be so demanding, so insistent that God open the heavens and make it clear that we never take an opportunity to discover if this one or that one is intended for us by the Lord. All of our young ladies ought to recognize that to marry means you will have to help this man. And what are you going to help him do? Advance his kingdom? Those are kind of inspiring guys, to be honest, guys that have great vision and charisma, guys that are going to be rich and powerful. Wouldn't it be great to help them build beautiful homes and live in luxury? But you'd be a fool if you followed such a man, for he is not interested in your helping him. He is interested only in you as an object, as a part of his conquest, as belonging to him. Seek the one that loves his king. He doesn't have to be a perfect Christian, but if he's not willing to serve the king of kings, he won't serve you. And serve together, we must. That's how our text ends. That's how that song of praise comes about. That's the wonder and the beauty of God's creative power in bringing forth the wife. Adam names all of the animals. There is no helper found for him. God says, now I'm going to put you to sleep. And wonderfully and miraculously, he takes from the side of man The woman. We're used to thinking the rib because that's how it was originally translated a long time ago. It's probably more accurately just side. Certainly there are ribs on our side, so it doesn't, it's more specific maybe than the text is intending. But it's probably just the side of man. And there is a great significance to that. God does not create the woman the way he created man out of the dust of the earth. He creates woman out of man. Man is the head. Man is the source. Man is the image bearer who then passes his image on to the wife and that'll become important when we get to Genesis chapter 4 and we're told that God made man in his own image and then man made a son in his own image remembering of course between Genesis 1 and Genesis 4 is the fall into sin. Man passes on, men pass on the flaw, the sin, the rebellion, the covenantal breaking Which is why when God works redemption, he does so through a woman. He promises that there will be a seed of the woman. He uses a virgin to bring forth the son. No man is involved so that the sin that flows from this now rebellious head does not taint the Savior who would be born on Christmas morning. It is important to see that woman is created from man and the redemptive significance that that has for the rest of history. But it is also important to see what that means for marriage. Man, as he names the animals, thinks about who they are, thinks about their unique qualities and qualifications, that which distinguishes them from all others, and then he identifies them with a name that describes who they are. And as he does so, he's thinking about how each of these animals is different, different even than him. There is no one here but me. He didn't even know that he was lonely yet. He didn't know that he needed a helper yet. He had to be brought to that understanding by the Lord and the Lord graciously brings him to see that he's all alone. And then when he takes from his side a bride, he takes one from not his head, lest she rule over him, nor from his feet, lest he walk over her, but from his side, that they might stand together, that they might stand side by side, oriented towards their Savior in praise of his name. So often our orientation is marriage is just towards each other, we face each other, we see the beauty in each other, we see the gifts and joys in each other, we stand facing each other and there's a blessing in that, there really is. But more often than not, we should stand side by side facing the King of Kings, marveling at his grace and goodness and rejoicing in what he has provided for us. Man rejoices when he sees the woman. He breaks out into song and he celebrates God's goodness towards him in praise of God's gift of this woman. And he acknowledges that it is the Lord who has done this. Indeed, here is a word to our husbands and to all men. Wives are exactly what we need. They are not something that is an addition to, an appendage to, a thing that is there, the little lady, the ball and chain. They are our equal. They are our companion. They are what we need. And we should never diminish or deny their value. Too often on the job site, too often in our conversations with others, too often we don't sing the praises of our God for the gift of our wife. We tell others about how she's been riding us, how she's been nagging us, how she's been causing us trouble. We can't come out this weekend, boys. The old lady, she's angry. She's in a mood. That's no song of praise to God. That's no declaration of our gratitude. And when we do these things, we do war with the God who blesses us. We spit in his face and say, we don't trust your plan and purpose. No, we should instead see that God has given us a gift. A gift indeed beyond our ability to repair, but that's why we'll speak of redemption and the grace of God as it's given to us in Jesus Christ. But nonetheless a gift, a gift who loves their Lord and Savior and who loves us too. But this is also then a word to our wives and to our women. Especially to our wives and women in the culture in which we live, a culture that wants you to place your value, your worth in altogether something else, your attractiveness, your abilities, your career, your whatever. The world says, do not find your value in the God who has assigned it. Create your own value. Be your own worth. Listen carefully to our culture, listen carefully to its songs, listen carefully to its movies and its books, and hear the cry of women as they struggle under the weight of this hopeless and helpless culture. Let the Christian woman show the better and more excellent way, let her resist, let her say, my value is not. The way the world sees it, but is from the God who has made me and who has given me in this place to serve in whatever that means. In a career, in parenting, in service to others, in blessing to the community, in whatever capacity the wife is called to show that the church serves her king. Because they find their value in being redeemed. in being purchased by the Lamb who has restored to us our created goodness. It is to help that women were created. It is to help that women have been redeemed. The world doesn't want you to believe this, and it doesn't want you to rejoice in this. It doesn't want you to experience the blessing of this. It wants you to despair in the darkness. Find your identity in Christ and know that his plan for you is good and his will for you is not oppressive, patriarchal, or misogynistic. It is rich and it provides blessing. Let's ask him for that blessing in prayer. Shall we pray? Gracious God and Father, we thank you for this word, a word that is certainly countercultural, a word that resists the spirit of our age. It may resist our hearts too, Lord. Our hearts are not so foreign to the call of the world, to the call of sin. We want to be valued for ourselves. We want to be valued for our looks, our abilities, our wisdom. We all have this struggle. We want to be valued because our families are good. We want to be valued because our homes are perfect. We want to be valued because our children are obedient. We want to be valued because we're good. But our value is found in you, O Lord. It was ours when you made us in your image. It was ours when you gave us this calling and command. We rejected it, but you have restored it and redeemed us in Jesus Christ. And we pray that you would help us to embrace our identity, to recognize that when men lead in serving you, when wives lead in helping or help, rather, Lord, in serving you. When everyone together seeks to glorify your name, then life is good. And there is peace and there is unity and there is joy. Indeed, there is everything that our hearts desire. Help us to know, Lord, that if we seek our lives, we'll lose them. But if we lose our lives for your namesake, then we will find them. In Jesus' name, amen.