2 Samuel chapter 13. I was just sitting there at Bendigo, waiting for the services to start, and I recalled a true story. Sometimes truth is funnier than fiction. Brother Clarence Edwards, some of you may remember Brother Edwards, and some of you may not, but he was a good friend of Brother Hensley, and my dad, and a lot of pastors at Northbrook Baptist. But he was a teacher at Cincinnati Baptist College. And back in those days, if you had to miss a class, if you were a student and had to miss a class, a lot of times you would have a tape recorder. Remember the old cassette player, cassette tape recorders had the little buttons in the front, you know? And you would record the message, or sometimes just to, get the notes, you know, so he would have it for a later occasion. Anyway, this fellow had to go somewhere. He couldn't be there for the class, and so he came in right before the class started and laid his tape recorder down and he said, Now, Brother Edwards, he said, I'm not going to be able to be here. I've got to go somewhere. I'm leaving the tape recorder here. And I said, if you get ready, I don't have much tape, he said. I don't have much tape left. So if you get ready to say something important, turn it on, please. And I thought that was sort of funny. And I'm hoping that I'll say something important today, and maybe it'll Help us and be a blessing our lesson today concerns trouble in David's family And in the last couple weeks you you've studied I wasn't here to hear the lessons, but I'm sure it was brought out the sin and David's life and the problems that you know, he he had to go through to get that squared away and what a mess it was. I mean, you've got to ask the question, how in the world did David, a man for God's own heart, get in this mess? Where did that start? And I'm just going back over some familiar ground. It all started when David stayed home from work. It really did. We're seeking the context here. In chapter 11, verse 1, it said, It came to pass at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab into service with him, and David tarried still at Jerusalem. David should have been out there. He should have been leading his army in the battle, and instead, He stayed at Jerusalem. I don't know what his mindset was, whether he was just cocky or self-assured or whatever, but he didn't go to the battle. He stayed at Jerusalem, had time on his hands, as someone has well said. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. And David's military failure led to a moral failure. And his moral failure resulted in problems in his family that would plague David, actually, for the rest of his life. And you all know Galatians 6-7, be not deceived, God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." applicable to the positive and to the negative as well. What we sow, we are going to reap. And it's clear here, it's futile to sow the seeds and then hope for a crop failure. That's not original with me, but that's very true. What you sow, that is what you're gonna reap. Now we can be thankful for the fact that after he committed the sin, then David confessed the sin and he was cleansed from the sin. In Psalm 51, which was written right after the incident with Bathsheba, David is putting his thoughts into, actually into a psalm, but he said, wash me thoroughly, throughly actually, from my iniquity, cleanse me from my sin, purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean, wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. So, not only did David confess, his sins but he prayed and I believe received cleansing from sin. 1 John 1-9 if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us and that's wonderful but not only to forgive us our sins but to cleanse us from all unrighteousness and that's part of the sanctification process I believe. We need to not only confess the sin but we need to Accept the cleansing of the Lord so that we don't do it again now. We might do it again but That's not God's fault. That's ours and so we Were thankful that we had this example of David he committed the sin and confessed the sin David had to suffer the consequences of his sin. Nathan, of course, pronounced the sentence upon David. He said, the sword will never depart from thy house. Wow, I'm not sure David even realized what all that was going to be, but certainly his life showed that the sword did not depart. Since David had done evil to another man's family, his own family would be plagued by evil. Since David killed Uriah with violence, David's house was continually touched by violence. Three of David's sons, Amnon, Absalom, and Adonijah, were all killed in a violent manner by the sword. Then, other problems they had. The story we'll look at today. Amnon raped Tamar, his half-sister and David's daughter. Absalom killed Amnon in revenge. Absalom rebelled against his own father and usurped the throne of Israel. Because David had violated another man's wife, another man violated David's. Why? Very unseemly, very distasteful story. And chapter six, guess who it was? It was his own son, Absalom. So all in all, David's family and really his entire kingdom became a mess. Now, did God still bless David and still bless the kingdom of Israel? Yes, he did. But David's sin and disobedience put a black mark, a stigma on his family and on Israel that would last for generations. I mean the fallout from this incident really lasted a long time. Some of that was God allowing the violence and the various things into the picture and some of it is just plain consequences of David's sin and not all consequences of sin are God's judgment upon that sin. God's discipline sometimes is just the fact that sin naturally brings forth undesirable results. So let's search the text now. I've got some points here and as usual they're all the same letter. First of all, we've got the rumination. Rumination means thinking, pondering. Well, let's look at verse 1 of chapter 13. And it says, that Absalom, the son of David, had a fair sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon, the son of David, loved her. And just to clarify, if you're not following along, Absalom and Tamar were full brother and sister. They were born from the same mother, Amnon, was a half-brother to Absalom and Tamar. So Tamar was Absalom's, I'm sorry, was Amnon's half-sister. And verse 2, it says, And Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin. Amnon is having impure thoughts, illegitimate desires, someone called it. And you know, that happens to all of us. We have desires that we shouldn't have. And because we're depraved, because we have a sinful nature, those thoughts come into our minds. But someone said this, said, you know, you can't stop a bird from flying overhead, but you don't have to let it build a nest in your hair. if that makes any sense at all. I think what that means, though, is you can't stop, sometimes, the thoughts from passing through your mind, but you don't let them stay there. In the book of Philippians, chapter 4, it says, what sort of things are pure and just and honest and true and of good report? It says, think on these things. And the idea, I believe, there is to force out, flush out, the wrong thoughts with good thoughts. And whenever we have those illegitimate desires coming into our mind, we should immediately meditate on or even open the Bible and read the Word of God and perhaps read something that is very pertinent to that particular desire that we're having. and take care of that and get it out of our minds. Well, Amnon did not do that, but we see here in the last part of verse 2, the restraints. It says that Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. Now, we don't really know what was in Amnon's mind beyond the lust, but you know, even wicked men have boundaries and inhibitions. And so there are restraints upon us that keep us from acting on every impulse that might come into our heads. And I'm glad for that. And what are some of these restraints? Well, there are some conventional restraints, first of all. Tamar lived in a house with the other daughters of the king and they were sequestered and some even called it a harem. I don't know if that's a good term or not. But Amnon did not see Tamar every day in passing, and they weren't together living in the same house or anything. So there was a conventional restraint. And then there's cultivated restraints as well by our upbringing. I'm sure that in some ways David had instructions sons in the ways of God and told them the difference between right and wrong and so They would have been taught, they would have been educated or at least influenced by David concerning what was appropriate and what was not. So there's a conventional restraints and cultivated restraints. There's the restraints of conscience as well. It's that little voice inside that says you ought not do that. And I think probably that's part of what Amnon was going through here when it says that he thought it hard to do anything to her. His conscience was intervening. And even though he had this lust, it was like the, remember the cartoon where he had the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, and both of them were talking into his ear, and he had this conscience saying you ought not do this. And then he had his lustful side saying, oh, you really need this. You need to do this. And so he was conflicted, but he was being restrained by his conscience. And then there were cultural restraints as well. And these are things that exist even in our time. What is acceptable in culture? Back in the old West, when they were pioneering in the Old West, people were mean. I mean, men were mean. Not all men, of course, but there were some mean men. And of course, the way they settled their differences was they would face off and grab for their gun. That's how they settled their arguments. But one thing that nearly all men of the West would not put up with, no matter how mean, no matter how despicable they were, they would not put up with women being molested and they protected the women. So there was a cultural thing and it of course is a cultural thing today that we don't approve of forced relations and that type of thing. So that's just some examples of the restraints that we have and that Amnon might have experienced as well. But now we go on and we see the renegade come into the picture. Verse 3, it says, Now, we've got Amnon having impure thoughts, and then it says that he thought it hard to do anything. I really can't act on this impulse. It's not right, but Amnon had a friend. I preached a message on this passage one time years and years ago, and it was called Amnon's Epitaph. And that was his epitaph, Amnon had a friend. This is what, this is the turning point in Amnon's, not his life, at least in this particular incident. Amnon had a friend, it says, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother, so he was a cousin to Amnon. And it says, and Jonadab was a very subtle man. In spite of Amnon's reluctance to act on his sinful desires, he had a friend that was ready to help him circumvent those restraints. And it says that Jonadab was a very subtle man. You recall the first time that the term subtle is used in the Bible? I bet you do. Genesis 3-1. Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field. This is the serpent that the devil is using, inhabiting apparently, and beguiling Eve into the sin that she committed that changed the course of the world and the serpent was subtle and it says that Jonadab was a subtle man. You draw whatever parallels you like but I think that tells us a lot and like the serpent, Jonadab is very persuasive in convincing Amnon to go against God's commands. Amnon knew what was right. He knew it was wrong to act on these impulses. And yet here comes Jonadab. And Jonadab is going to convince Amnon otherwise. Let's look at what he said in verse 4. And he said unto him, This is John and Dan talking to Ammon now. He said unto him, why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Now, let's just stop there for a minute. In those days, it was considered healthy and you were considered happy if you were somewhat Chubby, I'm just putting that nicely. I wish that attitude still existed today. I really do. I could get along real well in that culture. So when it says he was lean, he was off his feet, somebody might say. Perhaps he was so, it says it in verse two, that he was vexed and that he fell sick for his sister Tamar, or rather his half-sister. And so he just didn't look happy. He didn't look like he was satisfied with life. And Jonadab came along and said, why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Wilt thou not tell me? He says, why do you look unhappy? You're the king's son. You deserve to have anything that pleases you. There's no way that a king's son should be allowed to be unhappy. In other words, you are entitled. That's a word that we hear a lot today. You're entitled. And isn't that the society that we live in today? I'm entitled to do anything that makes me happy. I'm entitled to do anything that pleases my flesh. Well, Amnon goes on to confess Jonadab says, won't you tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. So Amnon confesses his love. What love? It was lust. We know that. And from the outside looking in, We see that it was totally wrong for Amnon to have these desires toward his half-sister, but he thought it was love. And a lot of people, of course, are making that same mistake today in our society. Well, anyway, Jonadab hatches the plan. verse 5, John said unto him, here's what you do, lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick. And when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it and eat it at her hand. So there's the plan. Here's how you're going to get Tamar to come to you. Act like you're sick. And tell your dad, when your dad comes to see you, you know what? It would really make me feel good if Tamar, my sister, would come and make me some food. And I don't know if he flattered her with saying she's the best cook in the kingdom or whatever. Who knows? But he said, I want to have her make me some food, and when it says give me meat, that doesn't necessarily just mean, you know, meat as we think of it, but a food, make me a meal, and dress the meat in my sight, put it all together, make it look good. I was told when I studied this in high school, had to go through a class that contained some cooking, and I cooked What was it? I think I cooked carrots as my part of the meal. And they said, now presentation is almost as important as the taste. So here's presentation. She's going to make me the food. She's going to dress it in my side that I may see it and eat it at her hand. Now you say, well, wouldn't David suspect something? He's got no reason to suspect anything here. I mean, who would have any problem with their kinfolk, their sister? In the book of Leviticus and in other places, it tells us very specifically that there was not to be any marriage, relationship, that type of thing between brother and sister or even half-brothers and half-sisters. But anyway, we'll say more about that in just a minute. So that's what the renegade, Jonadab, had to say to Amnon. Now, Jonadab gave him the motive for his sin. The motive was, you're the king's son. You should not be deprived of anything that makes you happy. Not only did he give him a motive, but he gave him the means as well. Here's the plan. Here's how you do it. Here's how you, you know, make it happen to get Tamar to come to you. Jonadab was a scoundrel. I mean, he was just a, and not a good person at all. But Amnon couldn't see that because Amnon had a desire and here's somebody that comes along and says, oh well, we can make this happen. It's all planned. Psalm 19, 13 says, keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins. That word presumptuous means it's planned out ahead of time. Presumptuous means it's not like, you know, It's something you just come on in the heat of the moment and you do something that you wouldn't normally do. I mean, that's wrong. There's no getting around that. That's not right either. But presumptuous sins, that's when you know it's wrong and you say, I'm going to do it anyway. And you plan it and you make it happen. That's a presumptuous sin, and that's what Amnon is doing here with the help of his so-called friend, Jonathan. We're going to address that at the end of the lesson. So now we move on and notice the rape. Terrible thing. And we'll just read through this beginning of verse six. So Amnon lay down, made himself sick, and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said to the king, I pray thee, let Tamar, my sister, come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight that I might eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, go now to thy brother Amnon's house and dress him in me. I said, David thought it was all innocent. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, and he was laid down, and she took flour and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight, and had baked the cakes, and she took a pan and poured them out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. Now we see it's starting to, is starting to give little hints here. We know what's gonna happen, but Tamar perhaps should have picked up on this, but he wanted everybody else out of the room. And Ammon said to Tamar, verse 10, bring the meat into the chamber that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which he had made and brought them into the chamber to Ammon her brother. And when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said unto her, come live with me, my sister. You don't need an explanation. You know what's going on here. And she answered him, nay, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Do not this folly. So Tamar knows what's right and wrong. And she knows that this should not be done in Israel. Israel was not like the heathen nations. Israel was God's chosen nation, and they had been taught the things of God, and they were constantly reminded of the commands of God through the teaching of the law, and then the sacrifices and all that were brought, and the problem of sin, and so she knows that it ought not to be done in Israel. Verse 13, and I Whither shall I cause my shame to go?" She said, do you realize what it would do to me if we did this thing? There was a stigma attached to that thing. And she said, no, I can't agree to this because it would be a shameful thing. And she said, and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. She said, it's not going to do any good for your reputation either. And this goes to show, Tamar is making logical arguments. and godly arguments against what Amnon wanted to do, and yet his lust was so strong that it overrode his good sense. Have we ever been there where we let our mind and our desires overrule our good sense? I think all of us have done that probably at one time or another. It says in verse 13, now she's getting desperate. Now, therefore, the last part of verse 13. Now, therefore, I pray they speak unto the king, for he will not withhold me from thee. Either Tamar didn't remember the law or else she was just desperate to buy some time and get out of there, but the law plainly stated that there was to be no relations and no marriage between, brothers and sisters, half-brothers, half-sisters, as I've said, even step-brothers and step-sisters. And so I think maybe she's just playing for time. She's desperate to get out of this situation. Verse 14, how be it he would not hearken unto her voice, but being stronger than she, forced her and lay with her. There's no consensual part of this. Tamar refused, and yet he was stronger, and so he forced her. He raped his own half-sister. A terrible thing. Well, let's move on. Notice the revulsion now. Verse 15. Ammon got what he wanted. Remember, it says in verse one that he loved her. He told Jonathan in verse four, I love Tamar. Well, here in verse 15, we see that things change in a hurry. Then Amnon hated her, but he not only hated her, he hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Abnon said unto her, arise, be gone. What Abnon thought was love turned to hatred very quickly. The free love attitude in the world today has the same results. And I know when I talk about free love, I'm telling my age. That expression, I think, was coined back in the 60s. when the sexual revolution started here in America and everybody just sort of began acting like alley cats and all that. The attitude is, well, there's no commitment. You get tired of one and turn to another and another and another. That philosophy has not brought the happiness and contentment that it advertised. Oh, look at it. We're going to be so happy. We're going to be able to just mess around with whoever we want. Well, it hasn't done that. It has not brought the happiness and contentment that it promised. And it didn't happen here. As soon as the deed was done, Amnon hated her. And it says that his hatred was greater than the love that he thought that he had for her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. Verse 16, And she said unto him, There is no cause. This evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. She said to God, I can't really express, perhaps, what she was thinking, but they talk about a woman scorned, and here he had said he loved her so much that he forced himself on her, and then now he turns around and says, get out. It says in verse 16 at the end of there, he would not hearken unto her. Then he called his servant that ministered unto him and said, put now this woman, not my sister, not Tamar, put this woman out from me and bolt the door after her. Put her out and lock the door. Verse 8, and she had a garment of divers colors upon her, for with such robes were the king's daughters at her virgin's apparel. Then his servant brought her out and bolted the door after her. Just a sad, sad turn of events. Amnon was not satisfied, not pleased, delighted, with the results of what he had done. Instead, there was only hatred. What a sad, sad thing. All right, we move on now to the revenge. Look at verse 19. And Tamar put ashes on her head and rent her garment of divers colors that was on her and laid her hand on her head and went on crying. She did not get any satisfaction or pleasure out of this. She was raped, and she responded like one who had been raped. And Absalom, her brother, said unto her, now I don't think we had the entire conversation. I think Tamar probably said more than I did. what we see here, but Absalom, her brother, says, has Amnon, thy brother, been with thee? But hold now thy peace, my sister. He is thy brother. Regard not this thing. Don't think anything about it. Well, that's easier said than done. It says, so Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. She didn't even go back to where the other virgin daughters lived. She remained in Absalom's house, and it says she remained desolate. That could mean a lot of things. Among others, I think it means that she did not present herself, or she was not presented for marriage to a man. She was, we don't know if she ever got married, as far as I know. She had a stigma on her. Terrible, terrible thing. Verse 21, but when King David heard of all these things, he was very wroth. So things are heating up even more. David, it says he was very wroth. He wasn't just angry, he was wroth. Wroth is a strong word. It means he was just as angry as could possibly be. Absalom, what is his reaction? Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon, neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had forced his sister Tamar and he came to pass after two full years. Absalom has had this thing in his gut churning for two whole years plotting to get back at Amnon. Came to pass after two full years that Absalom had sheep shearers in Baal Hazor, which is beside Ephraim. And Absalom invited all the king's sons. And there were quite a few, because David had obviously more than one wife. and Absalom came to the king and said, Behold, now thy servant hath sheep shears. Let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant. And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. He said, I don't think that's a good idea, David said. And he pressed him, how be it he would not go, but blessed him. David himself didn't go. But he said, You got my blessing. Take all the king's sons. And the sheep shearing thing was a It was more than just shearing the sheep. It was a big celebration. It was a marking time in the year. Then said Absalom, if not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, why should he go with thee? But Absalom pressed him that he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. I think David may be suspected that there was something in the works. Absalom pressed him. By the way, David had a very soft spot for Absalom. And we'll find that out as we go through the next lesson. But he had a very soft spot for Absalom. Verse 28, now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, mark ye now when Amnon's heart is married with wine. In other words, he's got a buzz on. And when I say unto you, smite Amnon, kill him. Fear not, have not I commanded you, be courageous and be valiant. And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose and every man gat him up on his mule and fled." They didn't want to be around for the aftermath of what happened here. So you have the revenge of Absalom. You see, the turmoil is discontinuing and it's ramping up and it's not gonna get any better anytime soon. We gotta hurry on. Look at the report now in verses 30 and 31. Came to pass while they were in the way, the tidings came to David. You know how things can get twisted? Tidings came to David saying, Absalom has slain all the king's sons. And there is not one of them left. sounds like something you might hear from the mainstream media. We can't trust anything we hear from them. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I threw that in for nothing. But the report was wrong. Then the king arose, verse 31, and tear his garments and lay on the earth, and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent. David thinks that all of the king's sons, except Absalom, are dead. Well, now we see the ridicule come in. In verse 32. Then, and Jonadab, remember Jonadab? He's the one that sort of was partly responsible for getting this whole thing in motion. But then, and Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother, answered and said, let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men, the king's sons, for Amnon only is dead. For by the appointment of Absalom, this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart to think that all the king's sons are dead, for Amnon only Now, here's the picture that I take from this or the attitude that I think that John Adab is portraying. He's saying, you know what, David, don't worry about this. It's okay. All your sons aren't dead. No, no, no, no, no. It's only that scoundrel Amnon. You know, the one that raped your daughter, Tamar, he's the only one that was dead. He's the only one that was killed, and he probably deserved it. Yeah, you can't blame Absalom for getting revenge on Amnon. So, Jonadab, playing both ends, wasn't he? He's the one that convinced Amnon to go and act on his sinful desires. And now he's saying, oh, it's just Amnon. No great loss there in Romans 1.32. It talks about evil people who, knowing the judgment of God that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. There are those, believe it or not, that will assist you in wrongdoing and then take delight in seeing you suffer the consequences. You see, that's the kind of man that Jonadab was. Now as we set the application, David's household is in turmoil and he caused turmoil in the kingdom as well. A song came out years ago, you may have heard it, sin will take you farther than you want to go. It will keep you longer than you want to stay and it will cost you more than you want to pay. In chapter 14, and you would do well to read it, David's anger towards Absalom begins to fade. Like I said, he's got a soft spot for Absalom. David, he never could stay mad at Absalom for very long. He was the fair-haired boy of the family. Chapter 14 verse 25, but in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. Absalom knew he was a good-looking guy and he used that to further his scheme and what was his scheme? Rather than being grateful for his father's kindness in forgiving him and bringing him back to Jerusalem, he repays David by plotting to steal his kingdom from him. He sadly stood at the gate and he stole the hearts of the people. What a mess was made by David. The trouble in his family, the trouble in his kingdom was primarily a result of his own actions. He had sinned, and the sin followed. And be sure your sin will find you out. Father, bless the word today to our hearts, and may we be reminded, and warned, and cautioned, and restrained, as we said, from acting on the impure thoughts that come into our minds from time to time. Blessing the service to follow, and all that we do, in Jesus' name. Amen. You're dismissed.