Well, good morning, church. It's so good to be back with you again. Please turn your Bibles this morning to Song of Solomon, Chapter 5. Song of Solomon, Chapter 5. It's right after Proverbs-ish, if you're looking for it. Psalms, Proverbs, it's kind of in the middle. Also, we're continuing this week our series, our New Year series called Little Foxes. It's a series about relationships, from our most intimate relationship, which is our marriage, to our most casual relationships, neighbors or friends or coworkers. Here's the truth. God wants our relationships to be strong. God wants our relationships to be healthy. And God wants our relationships to be a reflection of him. Song of Solomon, chapter 2, verse 15. It says, catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards. Remember, last week we learned that the Song of Solomon, it's a book about relationships, specifically the hot, happening, desire, Eros-filled love relationship between a man and a woman. And to express that, it's written as poetry. When it says foxes, it is not meant to be taken literally. God is not making an authoritative statement about the little orange creatures we see running around that they are of the devil and that as God's people we should make it our job to eradicate them from the earth. That's not what this means. God's Word is using it as an example, as a picture or a concept about relationships that we need to understand. You see, the fox was a devastating enemy of the vineyard owner in the land of Israel, stealing fruit, eating the new growth, chewing the roots of the vine, and in doing so, bringing great harm or even destruction to the vineyard. Therefore, the vineyard owner had to be vigilant. There was an unending warfare between the vineyard owner and the foxes in biblical times. The field owners didn't catch the foxes to feed them. They did not catch the foxes to take them home as pets. They did not even catch the foxes to release them. They caught the foxes to kill them. lest they come back to bring their destruction again. The same warfare, Church, is going on in our relationships. The fox is the representation of the little things. There are big things. For sure. But the fox is a representation of the little things that we allow to creep in and roam freely in our relationships. Little things that over time, if left unchecked, can bring about great trouble and devastation, destroying community, breaking down relationship, causing division. Listen, God wants our relationships. our marriages, even our churches, to be strong. He wants his people to be a people of unity, of one heart and mind and spirit, one with one another, one as he, Father, Son, and Spirit, is one with himself. How do we do that? Well, we learned last week that first, we need to be attached to him. We need to know him, know his love, know his character, know his faithfulness. We need to be filled by his spirit, his power, which enables us to live in a way that brings honor to him. We need to have that connection. But secondly, we need to catch the foxes. Last week, God showed us our first little fox, the little fox of discord. In relationship, conflict happens. It's a byproduct of relationship. It's inevitable. The danger comes when conflict happens, when we turn away from one another, when there's a separation from one another. The danger is that there then is no heart or intentionality to reconcile that relationship again. When it is never fully mended, we allow that little fox of discord to roam. How's that working out for us? I heard it said this week, there is something that is a whole lot harder than having a good marriage. Having a lousy one. Yeah. Beloved, catch and kill the little foxes. Winter is upon us. We all know what winter snows can be like. I think most of us walked out of our houses this morning to at least a little bit of winter snow. I don't know if you saw Bill's stadium. It looked like the North Pole, right? You know, terrible. Not being diligent in catching foxes in our relationships is like waiting for three feet of snow to fall before we start shoveling. It's much easier to shovel at four inches than it is at three feet. Why don't we shovel it four inches though? Because it sucks. Right, we say if I shovel it four inches, I'm gonna shovel six more times before the snow is over. I'm just gonna wait, but then when we walk outside and there's three feet of snow, that's hard. It's hard. God says be diligent. Catch the foxes. Don't wait. If you need a reminder of how to catch and kill the little fox of discord, I encourage you to go back and listen to last week's sermon. That said, let's learn about our second little fox this morning. The little fox of dishonor. The little fox of dishonor. Church, will you pray with me? Fathers, we wade out into this concept. God, I recognize that we do not live in an honor-based culture, but an individualistic one. And Father, because of that, I ask that you would, through the power of your Spirit, bring enlightenment to our hearts today. That we might understand what honor is, and we might see where this little fox of dishonor, can so easily creep into our relationships. And so, Father, we give you this. Speak to us, we pray in Jesus' name, amen. Hebrews chapter 13, verse 18 says, pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way. That's a great place to start this morning. You see, because the writer of Hebrews, he was looking at himself in his own heart, and he was saying, no, my conscience is clear. I actually have a desire to live honorably. But then he's like, but I see how hard that is. Therefore, pray for us. And if we are going to live honorably and live honorably in all of our relationships, guys, we need prayer. We need God's help. And so I wanted to start there this morning and then go to Galatians chapter 6. It's a passage where Paul is speaking about relationships. And in that, he writes this. He says, do not be deceived. God is not mocked. For whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows from his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows from the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And so let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up. And so then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are in the household of faith. See, when it comes to our relationships with one another, it doesn't matter if we are talking about an intimate relationship with our spouse or a casual relationship with a coworker. What we sow, what we bring into that relationship, it's important. It's important. And at the heart of so much brokenness in our relationships is this little fox, the little fox of dishonor. It's an issue rooted in how we view the other person and how we value the other person, how we hold the other person in our heart. Scripture says that God has crowned every person with glory and honor. And yet so often, we don't view, we don't treat one another that way. And so the little fox roams. In our passage this morning, this couple, there's a man and a woman, those are the two characters, and then they're surrounded by friends. And we see that the couple this morning leaves absolutely zero room for the little fox of dishonor. Listen to what the heart of the woman has to say about her husband. Our passage this morning begins Song of Solomon chapter 5 verse 9. It begins with the others speaking. They're asking a question. And they're asking a question about the woman's husband. And so they say this, they say, what is your beloved? All right, now stop because we've already gone too far. Doesn't that strike you as like kind of weird? It should say, who is your beloved? Or why is your beloved, but it doesn't. It says, what is your beloved more than any other beloved? That's interesting. The Hebrew actually gives us some insight into this because the Hebrew reads like this. What kind of beloved is your beloved? What kind of beloved is your beloved? What kind of person is he? How do you feel about him in your heart? What place does he have? What value does he hold in your heart and mind? That's the question they're asking. And now I want us to listen to the heart of the woman. Here's her response, verse 10. She says, my beloved is radiant and ruddy distinguished among 10,000. His head is the finest gold. His locks are wavy, black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside streams of water, bathed in milk, sitting beside a full pool. His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs. His lips are lilies dripping liquid myrrh. His arms are rods of gold, set with jewels. His body, polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires. I love that word, bedecked. His legs are alabaster columns set on bases of gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." Wow. You know, as a man, when I woke up this morning, when I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, what she said is basically pretty similar to how I would have described myself. Of course, I'm joking, right? You look in the mirror in the morning, you're like, oh. But here's what we see. See, no doubt, she has a high opinion of her husband's appearance. But her honor of him actually goes quite a bit deeper than that. And what we learn is that she actually has high honor for her husband. Look at the two verses. It's all throughout the text, but due to time, we're just gonna look at the first two. It says, she says, my beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among 10,000. That word distinguished is the word dagal. It means to set up into a place of prominence. It means to flaunt. See, in her mind and heart, the woman has set up her husband to a place of honor. Her goal, her desire, maybe her choice was to flaunt him publicly before others to build him up, to speak well of him. Sometimes I will come home and Becky will say to me, you know, I was bragging about you today. Setting up, honoring. An interesting use of this word is actually in battle. When the Roman soldiers went into battle, they raised or set up a standard, a flag. We've all seen them in medieval battles and whatever. There are flags all through the battlefield. Those flags weren't just a sign for the men to follow, and they weren't just a designation for who was in what cohort. These banners, they were sacred symbols. They meant something to the soldiers. See, if that standard was lost in battle, then the entire unit would be in disgrace, in dishonor, and in serious trouble. Therefore, that banner was precious. Listen, when it came to her relationship, she made it her heart to raise up her husband, to set him as her banner. Why? Because he was precious in her sight. Verse 11, she says, his head is like gold, pure gold. That's a value statement. And so she says, I've chosen to ascribe value to him. And listen, because I want us to hear this this morning. This ascription of value, has very little, maybe nothing to do with his actions. This is mostly a reflection of her heart, to honor him. Listen to her mindset, her commitment, her attitude. Verse 16, she says, this is my beloved, and this is my friend. Question. What is the attitude of heart? What commitment to raise up are we bringing to our relationships? What attitude of heart are we bringing to our marriages? To our co-workers? To our neighbors? And in case you're wondering, the guy is not off the hook, right? The guy returns to the woman the same honor, the same value, the same commitment, positive mindset of raising up. Chapter six, verse four, he says, you are beautiful. That's a statement not only about the exterior. He's saying, you are beautiful to me, who you are in your person, that is beautiful. He says, you are my love. He says, you are awesome as an army. That's awesome. Verse nine, he says, my perfect one. my only one. And perhaps my favorite statement of honor from the guy comes out of chapter one, verse nine, where he says, I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots. Pharaoh's chariots were pulled by stallions, dude horses. All right, now what he means by this statement is that she is so beautiful that she distracts all the other guys. But in that we see his heart to protect, to guard, because she is valuable. But I actually want to focus on the first part of this verse, because he says, I compare you. Literally what he is saying, he says, to me, you are like Question, how would you finish that sentence? When we think of our spouses, to me, you are like, when we think of all of the relationships in our life, the good and the bad, how would we finish that statement? To me, you are like, because it's in this where we encounter our little fox. See, when it comes to relationships, we can understand dishonor as bringing or casting shame or disgrace on another, to lower, to disrespect. When Becky and I are counseling couples, we set this principle in our relationship very early in our relationship. And so, whenever we counsel others, we tell them this rule number one, No public shaming of one another. Rule number one. If you have a problem, you can address it later. By all means, talk it out, fight it out. Creating a culture of honor does not mean that we never speak truth to one another. Nor does it mean that we always affirm or support the actions of the other person, what they're doing, what they're saying. Proverbs 13, 18. Poverty and shame come to him who ignores destruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored. Proverbs also says, faithful are the wounds of a friend. See, bringing honor to someone does not mean ignoring the fault. It is honorable sometimes to reprove. Right? Reproof can make us better. Wounding can make us better. Conflict can make us better. It can be for our good and our growth if it is done in the right way. If it is done in a healthy way. But if it's not, beware the fox. Because the wound often lasts far longer than the offense. and if not allowed to heal before being wounded again, that wound only grows. See, dishonor is devastating to a relationship because it's not aimed at building up, but tearing down. Dishonor is not concerned with making the other person better. It's not aimed at loving or protecting or valuing the other person. Its goal is only one thing, bringing shame. Listen to this quote by professor and writer Brene Brown. She says it this way, she says, shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. Now, when it comes to our sin, here's the truth, we are flawed. Right? We do need a Savior. That's why Jesus came. Right? We're sinners in need of salvation. Right? But the gospel is even though we were flawed, Christ still came for us. Still loved us. But devastating is it when someone looks at their significant other, where there should be safety and honor and love. And they think to themselves, I'm flawed. I'm unworthy of love. It's the messaging from the other person that you don't measure up to my expectations. That you're not good enough. that you're an idiot, that you fall short, that you're annoying, that your opinion doesn't matter, that you're second class. That brings pain, not results. That destroys relationship, not nurtures it. Like a fox, it steals our fruit. It gnaws the roots. And if we hear it long enough, we begin to internalize it. We begin to believe it. We begin to receive it as truth. And it causes the vineyard, the relationship, our own spirit to wither. Beloved, kill the fox. So honor into your relationships. Set one another up as highly valued in your eyes and heart. Other Christians, our neighbors, coworkers, and especially your spouse. You say, you don't understand. You don't know my spouse. What if they aren't worthy of honor? Were we? Hebrews 12.2 tells us that Jesus For the joy set before him, that was us. We were the joy. Bringing us into relationship with himself, in relationship with the Father, that was Jesus' joy. He saw that at the end, but in the way of that was the cross. And the cross was a symbol of shame. And in order to get to us, he had to go through it. It says, Jesus, for the joy set before him, he chose to endure the cross, scorning its shame. See, another beautiful facet of the gospel is that in Christ's death on the cross, not only did Jesus take our sin on himself and exchange that with his righteousness, but in doing so, he also took our shame and exchanged it with a place of honor. Beloved, under His grace, how could we treat one another any different? Especially in our marriages, which are supposed to be the greatest example of God's love in the way that we love one another. And yet, sadly, the truth, when it comes to many of our marriages, is that the relationship in which we need grace the most is often the one in which it is least expressed. Beloved, kill the fox. Bring honor again to that relationship. Make the choice to set up the other person. And God's Word shows us how to kill the fox. Going back to Romans chapter 12, God says, let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good. Love one another with Philadelphia, brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor. That's how we kill the fox. But in closing, I'd like to go back to our first passage in Romans. where Paul talks about sowing. Because the reality is, in some relationships we're gonna have to sow, and sow, and sow, and sow, before we start reaping any fruit. Do that. Because the promise is, eventually the harvest will come. You will reap what you sow, but sometimes we need to keep at it. So don't get discouraged. Choose to kill the fox. Will you pray with me?