Okay, well let's get going now. Talk to you about the four areas that Diane and I focused on when we were raising our children and now with our grandchildren. We have the same four areas. Relationship, intercession, teaching, and example. So we're gonna go on to T now, the teaching. And if there's anyone that's very clear in scripture, it's the teaching, isn't it? There's very clear verses and commands that parents should be teaching their children. So Ephesians 6.4 is one of the two verses in the New Testament that speaks to parents as parents to husbands. It says, Husbands, do not exasperate your children, but bring them up in the teaching and instruction of the Lord, for your instruction of the Lord. So we're commanded to teach. Look at Deuteronomy chapter 6 for a second. I want to show you something interesting here. Deuteronomy chapter 6, where it tells us to teach again, but I want you to look at it more carefully here. Deuteronomy 6, if you have your Bible, okay? And we're going to start in verse 6. It says, and these words that I command you today shall be on your hearts. I'm trying to do my watch at the same time as I'm reading, excuse me. And you shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise. Now, this verse has two, what linguists call, amirisms in it. Do you know what an amirism is? An amirism is where you mention two opposite things, and it means everything in between as well. So if I say, the young and the old, like what I said, I'm not saying just the young and the old, I'm saying everybody in between too, okay? Now look what it has here, it has two merisms. It says, I command you that you shall teach them diligently to your children and talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way. Those are two opposites, sit at home, walk by the way. In other words, teach them everywhere. And then it says, and when you lie down and when you rise up, those are opposites. That means all the time. So we should be teaching our children God's commands and what God has done everywhere and all the time. Proverbs 1.8 is another one if you wanna look at where it says, tells the young person to listen to his father's instruction and his mother's teaching. So fathers and mothers are both to teach. So, you know, that's the biblical basis here. I won't get into it anymore. I'm sure you agree with me that the Bible makes it clear that parents should be teaching their children. So let's just talk about some practical ways to do it, okay? Some of the practical ways to do it. Number one, godliness must be our number one goal by far. Okay, before we talk about how to teach or what to teach, we gotta make sure we know why we're teaching. What is our purpose? We gotta make sure the ladder's leaning against the right wall. Because a lot of parents are teaching, but they don't know where they're going with this, or where they're supposed to be going. One of the reasons that a lot of children don't turn out to be godly is because godliness might not be their parent's number one goal for them. Now, I will be the first one to say that there are many, many people who are way more godly than I am who have some children and aren't following the Lord. And opposite of that, there are some people that aren't even believers who do have kids following the Lord, right? So it's not like there's some kind of determinism here at all. and my children have not always been godly, in spite of this being my number one goal for them. However, here's what I found, and this is my concern that I'm trying to push right here, is that for a number of Christian parents, what's really their number one goal for their kids is that the kids get good grades, that they excel in sports, that they're popular, beautiful, that they make money, that they get into the right college, or something like that. It's something else besides godliness. When I was a school teacher, I taught all different grades. It was a Christian school. We would have parent-teacher conferences, and we'd give them the report card, and the report card had two sides to it. One side graded the student's character, and the other side graded the student's academic achievement. Well, I wanted to focus on the side that graded their character. Your child is diligent. Your child is honest. Your child is respectful. But a lot of the parents just wanted to know how he's doing in math, how he's doing in science. And you've got to be careful here. We've got to make sure that the number one priority for us is that our children are godly. I mean, that's God's number one priority. Look, Romans 8, 28, 29. God wants to conform us to the image of his son, right? He wants us to be godly, and so that should be our goal. Now, godliness begins with salvation. Children can't be godly if they don't have the Holy Spirit, right? And so I usually tell, if I'm talking especially to children, I share the gospel with them in this way. I'll just say, becoming a believer is as easy as A, B, C. A, you have to admit that you're a sinner, that you need God, that you need what Jesus Christ did for you on the cross. So A, admit. B, believe. You have to believe that Jesus died for you. and that it's only through faith that you can be saved. And C, you commit yourself to the Lord, because that's what the Bible means by belief. It's not just an intellectual thing. It's a full life commitment. And once they've done that, A, B, C, they've committed their lives to the Lord, then you can go on to D, and that's the rest of your life learning to depend on God. God in everything. And that's what we all should be doing too, right? Learning to depend on God. So that's just number one when it comes to teaching is make sure you've got the right goal, that your children be godly. And that's your goal more than what kind of grades they get or how good they're in sports or whatever else. Okay, let me go on. Now, the question we get most when we work with parents is discipline. So I'm going to take some time here and talk about discipline. We tend to discipline children according to the way we were disciplined by our parents, or we go to the opposite. We don't like the way our parents did it, so we run back to the other side. But our parents' methodology is not our authority. the Bible is. We've got to go to the Bible when it comes to discipline. So what are our options? What kind of discipline things can you do that are biblical? So let me just share with you some things that I see. First of all, spanking. We'll talk about that in more detail because that's the most controversial in our culture today. Secondly, rebuking. Both of those come from Proverbs 29.15. where it says a rebuke and the rod give a child wisdom. So there's two things you can do for discipline, spanking and rebuking. Another would be restitution. In the Mosaic law, if somebody steals something or if they damage something that someone else's, they have to you know, they have to give back that thing and actually 20% more. So there's restitution. So that's something you can do in discipline. There's taking away privileges. And where I get that in the Bible is that's what God does to us. When we are living disobediently, God takes away blessings, doesn't he? So I think taking away privileges is a valid and biblical kind of discipline. I think we can make an argument for do-overs, what my daughter calls do-overs. She does that with her kids. When they do something wrong, she says, that was wrong, I'm gonna give you a chance to do it right now, a do-over. That's what God did with Jonah, remember? The very first verse of Jonah, the word of the Lord came to Jonah, son of Amity, go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up against me. And you know what Jonah did, he runs the wrong direction, he ends up in the big fish, he's vomited on the land, and then chapter three, verse one is a do-over. The word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time saying, and he has a chance to do it over. It's the same with the disciples in the book of Mark, where Jesus says, how are we gonna feed all these people, remember? Um, we can't get food for all these people. And then Jesus multiplies the five loaves and two fish, right? And then he does the same thing a little bit later in the book of Mark. It's Mark chapter eight, when he feeds the 4,000. How are we gonna feed these people? He gives them another chance, like a do-over. So I think that's, maybe we can find that in scripture. I think timeouts are a possible discipline. from scripture. Now, I'm pulling a little bit and stretching a little bit here, but what does the church do when someone's disobedient and they refuse to repent? Church discipline, excommunication, kind of like a timeout so that they learn that they need to come back and repent. So I think, eh, maybe timeouts. Now, I personally don't use timeouts that way. I use timeouts in a different way. With the children, I use timeouts so that I can cool down and not discipline them in anger. And during the time out, then I would think what, and pray, Lord, what is the proper discipline in this case? And then I could discipline them with a gentle spirit. Discipline wasn't always gentle, but you know what I'm saying? With a more reasonable spirit. I think giving extra chores is another one that we can maybe derive from the Bible because in Proverbs 3.6 and many verses in Proverbs, it says when people go a wicked way, when they do something wrong, God makes their path difficult. He makes their path dark. He makes it crooked. Whereas a person who does what's wise is on a straight. path, okay? So I think extra chores or doing push-ups. My daughter does that with her kids sometimes. So there's a number of different ways that I think we can discipline kids that come either directly or indirectly from Scripture. Now, the one I want to talk about is spanking because that's by far the most controversial in our culture. And our culture calls it hitting, abusing, things like that. I wanna just show you what the Bible says, okay? That's all. So just take your Bible out and go to the book of Proverbs. The teaching about spanking is in the book of Proverbs, Proverbs 13, 24. There's four or five verses here that we're just gonna look at, and then you can see what the Bible says, okay, about this. Proverbs 13, 24. It says, whoever spares the rod hates his son. Wow, did you hear that? Whoever spares the rod hates his son. But he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. I was at a grocery store, I think it was at Safeway or Albertsons or something, and I overheard two young moms talking to one another in the aisle. And one of them said this, this is what she said. I love my son too much to spank him. Now this verse says exactly the opposite. It says, whoever spares the rod hates his son. And you can argue with that and say, well, no mom hates her son. But wait a second, what is love? That's what Scott was talking about. What is love? As I understand love from Scripture, I come up with a definition. The Bible doesn't actually tell us a definition of love. It says God is love, it says love is patient, love is kind, you know, all those characteristics in 1 Corinthians 13, but it doesn't say here's a definition of love. So here's my definition from studying Scripture. Love is desiring and doing what's best for another person, regardless of the personal cost. So if you love someone, you desire what's best for them, and you do what's best for them, even though it costs you something. In the book of Titus, Paul tells Titus to teach the older women, or command the older women to teach the younger women to love their children. Now why would you have to teach any mom to love her children? She just naturally loves them. Well, she doesn't naturally love them, she naturally, has compassion for them, but to love them is something you have to learn. What is it to love? To love, as Scott pointed out, Pastor Scott pointed out, is to do what's best for someone. And if it's best to spank them, then that's the loving thing to do, as you see right here in this verse, okay? So let's go on. By the way, I would just say this, that spanking is a form of love, if it's done right. Withholding spanking generally is not best for the child. Although there are other ways to discipline too, I'm not saying this is the only possibility. Okay, chapter 22. Chapter 22, verse 15. 22, 15. It says, folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. The problem in our culture, and some people ask about, at lunchtime somebody asked me about the idea of gentle, gentleness or something, what was the word that was used? Do you guys remember? Gentle parenting, yeah. Gentle parenting that's all the rage today with younger couples. It's based on a wrong anthropology. So anthropology is what we believe about mankind. So the Bible teaches one thing, and our culture teaches another thing. Our culture teaches that people are basically good, or at least neutral. And if they're basically good or neutral, then all you have to do is kind of just give them a little steering in the right direction, you know? Just a little pat on the back to go the right direction, if they're basically good. But the Bible says we're not basically good. The Bible says we're sinful, that we're selfish, and I don't know how any parent can have a child that's more than one or two years old that thinks that the kid's not selfish, because we're born that way, aren't we? I mean, like it says in Psalm 51, Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me. The idea is even from birth we are sinful. So if that's the case, which it is, that's what the Bible teaches, then they need more than just some gentle encouragement to go the right direction. So 22.15 gives us that idea. Folly is bound in the heart of a child. See, it's already there from birth. but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Okay, chapter 23, the next chapter. Verses 13 and 14. It says, do not withhold discipline from a child. If you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. Now, that sounds pretty harsh to us, doesn't it? But what's it trying to say? It's trying to say, don't be afraid to discipline strongly. Don't be afraid. You can save a child from shield, from death, in other words, from going in a direction that is gonna kill him by giving strong discipline. And the kind of discipline here is talking about the rod, right? Now, there's no excuse for abuse. There's no excuse for disciplining in anger or being abusive. We don't discipline to get back at the child because the child embarrassed us, or disobeyed us, or something like that. We discipline for the good of the child. And we do it not in anger, because any kind of discipline you do, if you're yelling at the kid, whatever you do, that's just plain wrong. That's not the right way to do it. And that's why I use time out, so I calm down, and so I could say, Lord, what is the right discipline in this situation? 29.15, Proverbs 29.15 is another one here. Notice what it says in 29.15. It says, the rod and reproof give wisdom. So those were the first two kinds of discipline that I mentioned at the beginning, rebuking and spanking. So there it is right there. The rod and reproof give wisdom. But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. A child left to himself. This is a permissive kind of parenting, like we see child-centered parenting, like we see in our culture today. It's not biblical, and it just causes a lot of problems. On pages 63 through 66 of the book I gave you, there's a whole bunch of stuff about discipline. all kinds of things here. So I would say, go ahead and read this if you want some time. And if you disagree with me on some of this stuff, hey, let's talk about it. I'd be glad to talk to you about it and why I believe what I believe. All right, to elaborate just a little bit, when I was a school teacher, I taught sixth grade for two years, and I taught first grade for two years, and I taught middle school for two years. And when I was teaching first grade, One of the families invited me over to their house, and it was really interesting. I had their son, little Timmy, in my class. And little Timmy, you know, he wasn't exactly the easiest kid in the world, but he obeyed in the class, you know, because I was pretty strong, and I disciplined him. So I'm at their house, and we're sitting around, the parents, Timmy and me, And dinner's over, it's starting to get late, and the dad says to Timmy, okay, Timmy, it's time to get ready for bed. And Timmy just sits there, he doesn't even move. So the dad raises his voice. Timmy, I told you it's time to go on upstairs, it's time to get ready for bed. Timmy doesn't move. I'm just sitting here thinking, this is going to be really interesting. Let's see what's going to happen now. So what does the dad do? He raises his voice even more. Timmy, I said go up and get to bed right now. Timmy doesn't even move. And then the funniest thing happened. The dad moves. The dad stands up, and he walks out of the room. And I thought, what is going on here, you know? And then he comes back with a paddle, and he walks over to Timothy, and he puts the paddle down right on the arm of the chair where Timothy was sitting. And then he goes back, and he says in a gentle voice, Timmy, I want you to go upstairs right now. And Timmy got right up and went upstairs. And after Timmy left, I said to the dad, you know, what is it you're actually teaching him when you do it that way? You're kind of teaching him, aren't you, that he doesn't have to obey you until you get the paddle out. And so I just counseled him, don't do it that way. Tell Timmy to go to bed and upstairs, if he doesn't do it, then discipline him. but don't do it that way with just a threat like that. And it's like counting to three or counting to five. Some parents do that way. You know, one, two, you better obey me, three, well then you're just teaching him he doesn't have to obey until you get to five or whatever, right? I would say this too, that Hebrews chapter 12 verses five through 11 is a great passage to read about discipline. It talks about discipline being painful, not pleasurable. So whatever kind of discipline you use, it needs to have some teeth to it, right? It's gonna be painful, not pleasurable. It talks about the dad's disciplining, and I think we dads need to take the leadership there. It's not that we do all the discipline, but I think we need to take the leadership in the discipline, as in the other areas of being spiritual leaders, as Pastor Scott has talked about. Also on page 147 of the book, I also have another section on disciplining. It's a question and answer time at the very end. And on page 147 it says, my parents never spanked me, so I don't know how to do it. Could you show me step by step how to spank in a biblically consistent way? And then I try to do that. So that might be helpful to you as well. So let's go on. Number six, I'm gonna skip several things here, because we just don't have time. But one way to teach kids, too, is to anticipate the temptation they're gonna face and then role-play it beforehand. So if you look at Proverbs 1, this is what Proverbs does. The dad in Proverbs 1 says, my son, if sinners entice you, If they say to you, you know, come with us, and we're gonna waylay someone, and we're gonna get a lot of money, and we will have one purse among us, so come with us. And then the father says, now, if they do that, don't go with them, because this is what's gonna happen. And when I read that, I thought, wow, that is really wise. The father is looking ahead and saying, hey, my children are going to be tempted in this way, and there might be a lot of peer pressure. And I want them to know right now what to do instead of having to make up their mind when the peer pressure is really strong. Because when you get in one of those situations and you're a child, It's easy to go along with the crowd. So I think that's really a good idea. You see, wisdom, according to Deuteronomy 32, 29, wisdom is knowing where something is going to lead. So if you go this path, here's where you're gonna end up. If you go that path, here's where you're gonna end up. Now, children can't have that kind of wisdom because they haven't had enough experience. It's not that they're dumb, they just don't have enough experience, but you do as parents. And you can tell your child, if you go this way, here's where it's probably gonna lead you. But if you go this way, here's where it's probably gonna lead you. And so, I can almost guarantee you that at some point, your sons are gonna be shown pornography. Not necessarily that they will seek it out, but somebody's gonna show them something on their phone or something like that. Have you prepared them for that? How about if there's a whole group of people and they're saying to your daughter, oh, come and do this with us, and you know it's wrong. Have you prepared them? So I think this is a great thing. I did that a few times with our children when I saw temptations coming down the pike, to sit them down in advance and say, here's how to respond when it comes. So they don't have to make a decision when things are difficult and there's a lot of pressure. Another idea for teaching is to use movies, books, biographies, and personal stories in music. The Bible does that, doesn't it? Look at how the Bible teaches us. It uses stories like parables. It uses music, the whole book of Psalms, music. There's actually Psalms in many of the books of the Bible. It uses narratives, true narratives like David and Goliath and Daniel and the lion's den, these stories that are true and are so powerful that kids never forget them. So the Bible uses all kinds of ways to teach us. And there are lots of good books out there. There are lots of good stories. There's lots of good music. You know, it says in the book of Romans, when sin increased, grace increased all the more. I think that's exactly what we're seeing today. Our culture is going the wrong direction. I don't have to tell you that. Sin is increasing, so what's God doing? Grace is increasing all the more. And there are more and more resources out there for parents that are good and helpful, Christian resources that you can use. We found movies that were helpful for our kids. We found books, we found biographies, we read them a lot of biographies, things like that. Okay, now number nine. At least it's the ninth one in my list. I'm not going through every single one. Make sure your children's education exalts Christ and points them to God's wisdom. So you might have thought that what I said about discipline was controversial. What I'm gonna say now is probably more controversial. Okay, so let's talk about children's education. I do not focus on the way education is delivered. I don't think the Bible does either. I think the Bible focuses on the education that's delivered, not the way it's delivered, not the delivery system. So I don't focus on public school, Christian school, homeschool. I focus on what kind of education they're delivering. In Colossians 118, the Bible says that God wants Jesus Christ to be supreme in every area of life. And the fact of the matter is, in public schools, Christ is not gonna be supreme, is he? But in Christian schools, he may or may not be. Some Christian schools are Christian in name only. And the curriculum is basically the same as a lot of public schools. And some home schools are not necessarily delivering Christ-centered education. There's a lot of homeschooling now that's done from a secular point of view. And even a lot of Christians maybe just want to escape the public system and aren't really delivering a Christian education. So that's what I'm concerned about. When I first was pastoring, this was many, many years ago, We went out into the country west of Portland and there was this woman who was very, very old. She had gone to public school out in the Oregon countryside in the 1920s. And I said to him, what was school like in the 1920s? I was amazed. She was describing a public school, and it was just like a Christian school. She said, oh, we prayed together in classroom. Our teacher would read scripture. When someone got hurt, we would all get around and pray for them. And I thought, whoa, even a public school can deliver a Christian education. Now, it can't do that anymore. That was 1920s out in the country in Oregon. That's not the way it is anymore. And so I strongly recommend to parents that they don't have their children in a public school because there's just no way that they're gonna exalt Christ in a public school. Some people say, well, the public school is kind of neutral and I can teach the Bible at home to my kids. Well, first of all, I would say it's not neutral. Maybe at some point you might have thought that, but even if it were neutral, that would still be not what God wants. He doesn't want people to be neutral towards him. He wants Christ to be exalted. The purpose of education is to shape the mind of the child. Some parents have told me, well, we put our kids in a public school so they can be lights, so they can be witnesses. Well, they should be lights and witnesses, but that's not the purpose of school. The purpose of school is to shape the minds of the child, and we have to keep that in mind. There are some subjects that are not really taught very differently in a public school, a home school, or a Christian school, like keyboarding. like playing football or maybe playing the violin or something like that. There are some subjects that really are not taught that differently. But when it comes to English, when it comes to science, when it comes to history, there's a huge difference here. And even if a public school were teaching the right thing, you also have to ask what is the influence of the teachers? Are the teachers godly? And how about the peer pressure from the students? Is that gonna be godly? So I learned how important this was when I was a teacher. So when I taught first grade, I really wanted to encourage the students. So I told them, I would say, hey, you know, you guys are so smart that whatever I give you is just a cinch. And so I would write cinch on the top of their papers and send it home. there's only one problem. I'm not a very good speller. And I never looked up how to spell cinch. So I was spelling it S-I-N-C-H instead of C-I-N-C-H. So a couple weeks after the school year started, this one mom calls me up and she says, I gotta tell you this story. So my daughter comes home and she has this paper that says cinch, S-I-N-C-H. And I said to her, oh, that's not how you spell cinch. And she said, yes, it is. That's how Mr. Elzinga spells it. So that's the way it's spelled. And the mom said, no, it's not spelled that way. And so they got into an argument how it's spelled. So the mom said, okay, look, I'll show you in the dictionary. So she goes and gets a dictionary and she shows the daughter, see, it says C I N C H. And the daughter says, the dictionary is wrong. And when the mom told me that, I realized, wow, of influence on how children think. And we had only been in school for a few weeks there. And you can imagine if a child is in a classroom for, I don't know, what is it, 30 hours a week for, you know, 11 years, 12 years, whatever, there's a lot of influence there. So you have to ask more than just what education is being delivered, but also the models that are delivering it, the teachers, and of course the students and things like that. So I just wanna highly recommend to you that you make sure that you have godly people delivering Christ-centered, biblical-centered education to your children. If you disagree with me and you think the public school's fine, I would just recommend three things. Number one, hold off as long as possible. It's like a greenhouse, okay? You have young, tender plants. They're not ready for outside where it's cold and hard and the weather's harsh. Hold off as long as possible. Number two, if you're gonna have your child in a public school, you need to really be involved in that school so you know what's going on. You know, it's funny because some parents think, well, if I put him in school, then I'll have more time. Well, if you put him in a public school, I don't think you'll have more time because you need to know what's going on there, and then you're going to have to refute a lot of the things that they're learning at home. And then finally, on page 76 of my book, I have an article that I wrote. that I would encourage you to read that might challenge your thinking. So I'll leave it there, okay? Next thing I wanna point out is don't forget to teach your children about God's design for sex. Don't forget to teach your children about God's design for sex. So I was in my office one day and I got a phone call from my oldest son. And he's, you know, at this age, he's like 35 years old or something. And he says to me, hey, dad, you made a mistake when you were raising us. And I said, which one, Steve? I meant a lot of mistakes. And he says, you didn't teach us about sex. And because of that, when we have a question or a problem in that area, we're uncomfortable coming to you. And when he said that, I thought, he's absolutely right. You know, I kept putting it off, because I didn't want to teach them too young, you know how that is? And I didn't have any good curriculum or anything. I got them reading the Bible a lot, and I just thought that when they got to some of those passages in Song of Solomon or Proverbs chapter six or something, that they would come and ask me, but they never did. And so I didn't teach them. But the fact of the matter is, the culture is gonna teach them. And you gotta beat the culture to the draw here, okay? And teach them the right thing. And there's more and more good materials, Christian materials that you can use to teach your children about sex. And then the last thing I wanna say under tea, teaching, is you've gotta show your children their life purpose. They have to understand why they're here on this earth. Why God made them. You have to give them a vision for life. If you don't do that, if people don't have a vision for why they're here, then they're gonna unconsciously accept the culture's vision. And what's the culture's vision for why we're here? To live for yourself. Do your own thing. It's all about you, right? Things like that. That is not the reason God made us. That, the culture's view of why we're here appeals to the sin nature, so it's very attractive to kids. But it's not what the Bible says. You know, it's interesting how God gives a huge vision to his people. So Adam and Eve, how many people are on the planet? Adam and Eve? Two. And what does God say? Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Two people and they're going to fill the earth in huge vision, right? Jesus does the same thing with his disciples. He just has a little band of disciples when he ascends to heaven. And what does he say? Go into all the world and make disciples of every nation. You know, we have something big to live for. We're here for God's kingdom, for God's glory. And as we give our children that kind of vision, you're here for something big, they won't be as attracted to the little self-centered kind of vision that our culture tries to feed them. Okay, I'm going on to the last thing, E, example now. I wish I had more time to talk about each of these, but that's okay. We're just gonna move right on here, okay? So, E, example. R, relationship. I, intercession. T, teaching. E, example. When I was in the teaching program at Berkeley, we had a professor come who was an expert in reading. And this is what he said. He said something I'll never forget. He said, the best predictor of whether a child will be a reader is blank. Can you guess what goes in the blank? Yeah, exactly. So the best predictor of whether a child will be a reader is not their IQ, it's not whether they learn to read with phonics, it's not how many books they have in their house, it's not how much TV they watch. The best predictor of whether a child will be a reader is whether the parents are readers. Wow, the power of example. Really, the power of example. Now, the Bible talks about example way before that professor talked about it. The Bible is full of examples. In fact, some people think the Bible is just a bunch of do's and don'ts. Well, it has commands, it has do's and don'ts, but the truth is that much of the Bible doesn't teach us with commands. It shows us what's right or wrong. You know, you got whole books of the Bible, like Genesis. How many commands in the book of Genesis are for us to obey? Okay, there's a few. Chapter 1, chapter 9, there are a few, but mostly it's just examples. Abraham and Sarah, and when they follow God, when they don't, and Joseph and his brothers, you know? In fact, all the books from Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1st and 2nd Samuel, 1st and 2nd Kings, 1st and Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job, they all show us what's right and wrong. They don't necessarily tell us what's right and wrong, okay? So example is really, really important. How did Jesus teach? Oh, he taught by commands, but he also taught by example. He washes the disciples' feet, and then remember what he says? He says, do you know what I've done to you? If I, your Lord and teacher, wash your feet, you ought to wash each other's feet. I have set you an example that you should follow what I've done, following my steps. Paul taught by example. He said, follow my example as I follow Christ. He says to Titus, Titus was an apostolic representative in charge of the whole island of Crete and the churches on Crete. And Paul says to him, in everything, show yourself to be an example. First Peter, Peter's talking to the elders, the overseers. He says, to the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ's suffering and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed. Then he gives him some commands, he says, Shepherd God's flock which is under your care. Serving as overseers, not because you must, but because you're willing. Not greedy for money, but eager to serve. Now get this, not lording it over those entrusting to you, but being an example to the flock. That's how leaders in the church are supposed to lead, by example. Example is really important. So I've just picked out a few areas where I think in this particular cultural moment that we're in, that it's really important for parents to set an example. And I would say grandparents, by the way, if some of you are grandparents. Number one, Bible study and prayer. One of my biggest disappointments as a pastor, I'll just be frank with you, one of my biggest disappointments as a pastor is knowing so many fine Christians and finding out how inconsistent they are in their Bible reading and how little they pray. It says in one of the prophets, my people perish for lack of knowledge. And that's what we're seeing today. People turning away from the faith, leaving the church, perishing because of lack of knowledge. They don't know the scriptures. They're not feeding their spirit with scripture. If you will set the example for your children of reading God's Word each day and praying, that could just be so powerful. We have a grandparenting ministry at our church, and every three months, we do a brunch for grandparents. And just last Saturday, I was teaching about them setting an example for their grandchildren, and one of them shared a testimony. And she said, when I was a little kid, I used to get up, I got up way before anybody else got up, but no matter how early I got up, my dad was always there reading the Bible. and that still is affecting her. Her dad is long gone, and she's still being affected by his example. And I would just encourage you to make this a key area of setting an example, reading the Bible and praying. Number two, weekly worship with God's people. When I was a child, My parents took me to church, and most of the Christians that I knew went to church twice a week, Sunday morning and Sunday night or Wednesday night. Today, many Christians go to church twice a month. Things have really changed. In 1992, our church planted a church in Tigard, Oregon. And we, I'll never forget this. You know, they were meeting at Tigard High School. And one Sunday when I wasn't preaching, I went down to see how they're doing at the church plant. So I drive into Tigard High School and I look out on the field, this is 1992, and there were literally hundreds of children out there practicing soccer. at 10 o'clock on Sunday morning. And I'm thinking, what's going on here? It's 10 o'clock Sunday morning. It's time for people to be in church. What are they doing out there? 1992. When I was a kid, even the NFL didn't have football games on Sunday morning, because that's when people went to church. My, how things have changed. My, I'm not shocked at all anymore. We drive by a middle school, don't we, Diane, every Sunday going to church, and there's lots of times kids out there playing. We've gotta set an example here. This is really, really important, and I'm, honestly, I'm really concerned about it because I see what's happening in our culture. and it's just drawing kids more and more away. In fact, I'll make a prediction here. If you go to church twice a month, your kids will probably go once a month at that, and your grandkids probably won't go at all. In Luke chapter four, verse 16, it says, Jesus went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day as was his habit. each Saturday or each Sabbath day for the Jews, he was in the synagogue. And he sets the example, and Christians for 2,000 years and Jews before them had this rotation, six days of labor and a day of rest, and that day would be a day to get together with other believers, at least to some extent. And Hebrews chapter 10, it says, do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together, but what? but encourage one another daily. Encourage one another and all the more as you see the day approaching. We need that encouragement. Your kids need that encouragement. This is a great church here, by the way. I've been able to come up here and minister at different times. I really like this church. This is a good one to have your kids at. So we just made it an absolute habit in our house that we're always at church. When we were on vacation, we'd always find a church, because we wanted our kids to see that that's part of, that's essential, and it's paid off for us a lot. Here's another area that we need to set a good example, and that's how we face difficulties. So some of you today are going through some hard times, right? Any group this size, I know it for sure, there's a lot of people going through some kind of trial or difficulty. I have a theory, and when I do counseling, I oftentimes mention it to people. My theory is this, I think God either brings trials or allows trials in our lives in part so that we can model for our children how to face trials and difficulties. Because let's face facts, every single person on this planet is gonna go through some hard times in their life. And it's during those hard times that kids turn away from God. Adults too, right? It's during those hard times that they walk away from the church. What a precious example you can be when hard times come. and you gather the family together, and you get on your knees together, and you pray together, and you trust God together, and you set an example for them. So later on, when they go through hard times, they'll say, oh, remember how dad and mom did it? And that could really help them instead of going off the wrong direction. Okay, I was gonna talk about marriage, but Pastor Scott's doing that, so I don't even have to talk about that, except for this. Have you noticed all the articles recently in the news about mental health with children and youth? Even the Surgeon General says we have a problem in this culture with mental health problems with children and youth. Where do those come from? Now, I've read a number of secular articles, and I can tell you where secular people think those problems come from for kids. They say it's because of social media. or because of COVID isolation, or because of bullying, or because of not getting enough sleep. Now, maybe all those things contribute, but I think a bigger reason for all the mental health problems is that a lot of kids are in homes where there's a lot of tension between mom and dad, and that pulls kids apart. I grew up in a home where I mean, maybe some of you, a lot of you did, probably, where there was a certain amount of tension and where I saw some things that just pulled my heart out, just terrible, you know? And not that my parents were evil, they were believers, but they got into, there was a lot of tension at times, and it really hurt me. And I think that's what's happening today. And so listen to what Pastor Scott says about marriage. God keeps his covenant with us, we need to keep covenant with each other. God forgives us, we need to forgive each other. God reconciles us, we need to learn to reconcile with each other. God delights in us, we need to delight in each other. The last thing I wanna say here when it comes to example is it's really important that we show our children that we have a passion for God's kingdom. It's very easy to look at your parents' life or your grandparents' life and say, well, they go to church, and it's nice for them, but it's just an add-on. It's just a nice thing in their lives. It's not something that I have to do. And so I just ask this question, do your children see you making sacrifices for your faith because it's central to your life? It's not just an add-on to make your life nice or so you can go to heaven, right? Your faith is so important to you that you're making sacrifices that show your children that it's central to your life. When I was growing up at the church I went to, we had some adults that kind of sponsored our high school group that we had. And one of them, his name was Roy, he was a salesman for Abbott Drugs. And he was very good. He moved up in the company, and they wanted him to keep moving up. But he said, no. I don't want any more promotions. or any more money. And the reason is I want time to invest in those high schoolers at our church. And if you want to know something that affected this young man when he was in high school, that was it. To see someone who's willing to sacrifice for their faith and serving God because it was so important to him, that affected me big time. And that's what will affect our kids when they see that we are so serious about our faith that we're willing to not get that promotion, or not spend more money on ourselves, or give more away, or whatever it is, sacrifices that we make. So, both of these lectures I've given you, I started when the kids were little with this R-I-T-E, right? Relationship, intercession, teaching, and evangelism. The kids are all grown up now. And we have 15 grandkids, and guess what? We're doing the same thing. We're still working with our grandkids now on relationship, intercession, teaching, and example. And so I just want to encourage you to think about those things too. And there's many, many things in this book that I didn't get a chance to talk about today, but please feel free to read it. My email address is somewhere in the front of the book, and you're welcome to send me any questions you have. I'd be glad to talk with you or just talk FaceTime or whatever if you have some real concerns about anything I've said or questions. I just want to invest in people's lives in this, because I can't think of anything more important than having our children following Jesus Christ, okay? Let me pray. Father, I thank you so much for the opportunity to talk about something so important. I thank you, Lord, that you are our model, that you, Father, you present yourself as our Father, and that we can be your children. that we can have inheritance, that we can reign, co-reign with Christ. This is just incredible opportunity you've given us. And as we read the Bible, Lord, just show us more from your example how you want us to parent our children. And they're really not our children, they're your children. Lord, you're the one that created them. You're the one that has a plan for their lives, and I pray that our plan and our work will be consistent with what you want to do in their lives, and that you will bless our feeble efforts in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you.