Well, brother, let me invite you to take your Bibles and turn with me to the Old Testament Book of Proverbs. Chapter 19. And Ryan, I don't know which light this is, but I failed to dim it before I got started. The big can, but yeah, That's the one. Very good. Praise the Lord for the deacons. Amen. Proverbs 19 and verse 18. One of the verses that we read of many of the Proverbs last in our conclusion of last week's message. Proverbs 1918. Chasten your son while there is hope and do not set your heart on his destruction. Well, I never know exactly what the pilot is going to be before I send the information out to the bulletin, but this is less than five and basically entitling it using the rod and other pastoral thoughts. And so we'll see what comes out of that. I'm going to conclude the series today discussing these things. And as I've stressed from the beginning, there are many good books out there written on this subject, and I've recommended some of those sources to you, and I'm sure there are many others as well. In fact, one that I didn't mention, I know John MacArthur wrote one a number of years ago, which is another excellent resource. Some of these are in our church library. And so for sure, as I'm trying as your pastor to give you some kind of a start on that, there's just a wealth of resources that God has given you as a parent that really are without excuse. to not learn how to do it as much as God has taught us in the Word through other teachers, much better than myself, who've really labored in this particular area especially and have written it down. And so I hope you'll take advantage of that. And so I recognize, again, I have left out much that could be said. There are many different age differences with some of the parents that we have. There are different unique differences within the families themselves. But as you can probably tell, I have focused primarily and really what really moved me to want to do a series on it is because of the blessing that God has sent us and sending us so many young families and who are having so many children. Those of you who are the young families and you have young children, we have other young couples who are trying and desiring to have children. The reason that I have focused on you primarily, although not exclusively, is that your parenting is at its most important time in the life of your children. There are opportunities that you have now as your children are one and two and using the rod or in disciplining and training your children that you will not have when they get a little older. things that they're willing to submit to and obey and can be conformed and disciplined toward, that if you wait too long and their hearts get a little callous and harder, it will be much, much harder for you to train them later. This is why the text says here in Proverbs 19, 18, Chasten your son what? While there is hope. So you sort of, at some point, cross over the edge. Now God can still be gracious and merciful and still labor and work through your training if you get a late start, but now is the most precious and sensitive time to work on disciplining your children. The rod properly used has a tremendous influence on little children to train them to obey and to honor their mother and their father. And as it is, children's hearts who have been made pliable by the rod at that very young age Oftentimes it's what God uses. It means that God uses to make them willing to be more pliable to the gospel because they've already been trained to be humble. They've had to humble themselves. Our little one year olds and our two year olds, they're prideful. They think they know that they can be free to do whatever they want to be. But that rod humbles them and brings them into subjection to the truth and to what they're called to do. And that's what the gospel does. It humbles us and reminds us that we have a great need for direction. So you see that the root of all of child's rebellion, of course, is rooted in this eidemic pride. And it is the rod, of course, that talks about driving it far from them. So we recognize that God must act. And although my father was not a Christian, I've told this to you many times, he was very bold in the way that he dealt with me by way of rod and using chasing against me for my mischief and my bad behavior. And so I was a normal boy who did, you know, mischief things and bad things and so forth. And brethren, there's no doubt in my mind, as I've studied through these things in the last several weeks, that God no doubt in some way shaped and molded my heart through that discipline, heavy-handed as it was, it made me understand Humility was necessary for reconciliation. And so for the child to be brought back in, he is out of fellowship with his mom and dad. When that little child rebels, he needs to be reconciled and brought back. And he will learn through that rod that the only place that he's going to do that is if he submits to mom and dad's way. And so in some sense, I think that I learned some of that just by virtue of common grace in my own home as a little boy. And so only eternity will reveal just how much God uses the biblical use of the rod in a childhood to be a means of preparing our hearts to be saved in adulthood. Keep that connection. I think that's biblical. I think this is what the scriptures lean out to teach us. Proverbs 23, 13, do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. you're training them. It's hard, you don't want to see your children cry when you spank them, but you do it, you go forward with it, and you do it because God teaches you that this is the way of saving them from death in this life, early death, and rebellion that leads them astray, and as I said, I think has a connection to perhaps preparing our hearts for the ground and seed of the gospel. So brethren, If I could leave you with one truth that you would be willing to embrace with all your heart as young parents, it would be that you see the importance of starting the use of the rod immediately. Immediately. When they are one, when they are two, and they have this stubborn rebellious heart, it is also at this age, brethren, that their hearts are most pliable to biblical discipline. And with that little introduction, I want to talk to you today, as I mentioned last week, I decided to go ahead and use the little three-point outline that I wrote down last weekend. The practical use of the rod in three places. And if I repeat myself, I'm not repenting of it or apologizing for it. I'm just hoping that somehow, some way, even though I've said some of these things over and over, something's going to stick. I've been told that marketers, they have determined, that people will not really listen and apply themselves to what you're telling them until after you've said it to them seven times. If the marketers have figured that out, may it be ever so more true about us hearing the truth of God's Word. So here's the first point. Let's first talk about using the rod in the home. Well, this is obviously the primary place of the implementing of the use of the rod. And it will be the foundation of learning how to use and implement the rod in these other places we're going to talk about later. So the first thing I want to say about this is the need for seeking out godly counsel from older brothers and sisters in the faith. Here I would like to share, and I'm going to say more about it in a minute, something from Sandy Lynetta that she sent me, which I found to be very, very helpful and valuable, in my opinion. And she's just one of many in our church, brothers and sisters, that is willing to help you younger families if you are willing to reach out. You don't have it figured out. And they, not just her and Bob, but other older members of our church, I feel quite sure are open and willing and delighted to be willing to help you if you need advice in certain areas of your parenting. I'm going to nail that home in just a little bit more in a minute. But here's what Sandy taught me or shared with me that I want to share with you. And again, it's just very insightful, and I'm passing it along to you. Here's what she said. Corrective discipline can be verbal, that is, through educating, warming, instructing, etc., or physical, that is, through corporal punishment, application of the rod, spanking. She says childishness and foolishness are two different things. One requires training and one requires physical correction. All kids are clumsy and forgetful and short-sighted, silly and playful, unaware of consequences, etc. And so verbal correction and training is appropriate for dealing with a child's childishness. That is until it becomes willful disregard for training or of training. According to Proverbs, verbal correction is insufficient for dealing with the foolishness bound up in the heart of a child. Hence the need for punitive physical discipline. Yes, even in children under three, especially in children under three. So she's making the same point that I was earlier. She says, typically the foolishness in children five years and younger involves one or more of the following. She's got three points and she says, basically, these three things will come out of your child when they're one and when they're two. Just almost like clockwork, you can expect these things to happen from your children as a result, of course, of the fall and sin. So the first one which she says is that they're not obeying quickly and sweetly. They're not obeying quickly, so they're not apt to ever just obey sweetly, I mean quickly, and they're not apt to do it sweetly. And as you discipline them, it is that your desire and your training them that that's how they have to obey. They need to obey quickly, As this Proverbs talked about, doing it promptly. We don't wait. We don't, again, bribe and shame and all the things we talked about in the other lesson. They are to learn to do it quickly. Whatever you're asking them, of course, you don't make sure you're not asking something that they can't do. But if it's a reasonable request and they blatantly disobey, they are to obey quickly and, of course, sweetly. that is there to have the right attitude. You don't want to come away thinking that you forced the outward result you were looking for, but their hearts have not yet been bent toward obedience. And so that they go off and they grunt or they, you know, stick their tongue out behind your back and, you know, I'll do what you said, but I'm not going to like it, you know, or that kind of thing. So you have to do a lot of explaining and talking to work through that and getting through to that sweet part. And sometimes that may need to mean more than one spanking until they understand that their wills have been broken. They've got to be molded to honor their father and their mother. She says number two is another thing you can expect is the not telling the truth. This is so, so important. I remember once listening to John MacArthur teaching on parenting. And he says there are a lot of things that he could bear with when his children were being raised in his own home. He says, but the one that his parents knew was an automatic and a quick disciplinary problem was when they would lie. You have no trust, no relationship between you and your child if you allow that lying to go on and to not discipline it out of them. It's a really, really big one. And then she says, thirdly, is the not being kind to one another. She says this includes themselves. So, for example, they aren't allowed to beat their heads on the floor when they're angry or disappointed. We have to teach our children to be kind. They may not be super kind, but we need to teach them to be kind. If we don't teach them to be kind, then they're not going to be kind out in the world. And if we go out into the world without some sense of what kindness is, well, then they're in for a lot of trouble. So she says this punitive physical discipline administered depends on the age of the child and the severity of the breach of conduct. And so brethren, our sister Sandy used to work with little children for a living, and she has a tremendous resource of biblical understanding in this area. She will not push herself on any of you, but she is more than willing to offer advice and help to anyone who's willing to ask her, as I feel sure many of our older brethren in the church who've already raised their children are willing to do. And so some of you are not using that from them. You're just doing it on your own and you're just getting through. And God has given you them and he's given to them to you for their ministry and for help to you. And so here's some godly counsel for that in that particular area. If you're unwilling to seek holy counsel, here's what Proverbs says. Proverbs 12, one, whoever loves instruction, whoever loves instruction, loves knowledge. But whoever hates correction is stupid. Whoever hates correction is stupid. So maybe you're not asking because you don't want to be told by somebody else how to do it. You got it. Well, that's not wise, according to Proverbs, God's word, Proverbs 11, 14, where there is no counsel, the people fall. But in the multitude of counselors, there's safety. One more, Proverbs 12, 15, the way of a fool is right in his own eyes. But he who heeds counsel is wise. And we have several older couples in the church. As I said, I'm sure that they have done a few things right. I believe that they have. And you have the added benefit of learning from their many mistakes. Which means, as younger families, you don't have to suffer the consequences of making the same ones they made. And I don't know of any brethren in our church who would find it a burden to give you counsel. In fact, on the contrary, you would minister to them by allowing them to help you. One of the burdens that can come upon an older generation is them coming to the church and serving all these years and getting to the point where they feel like they no longer have a place. And so they want to be able to minister. They've done it in the church all through the years, but now they're getting older and nobody's reaching out to them. Nobody's seeking counsel from them. And you're being willing to do that. And you also know you need it. You would be ministering to them to allow them to do that. So the younger generation may either not want to disturb their older brothers and sisters, or maybe you're too shy, or maybe you're too prideful. I don't know. But it is God's way that we humble ourselves and learn from the older generation. And we're not doing it in this church very well, I don't think, from what I know in here. Maybe it's going on more than I know about it. So take your Bibles and turn to the New Testament book of Titus, Titus chapter 2. So you have 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and then the book of Titus. And we could go to other places, but I think here it would be profitable for us to get the truth of this from this particular text, Titus chapter 2, picking up in verse 1. Paul writes to Titus, but as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine, that the older men be sober, reverent. And of course, what is the context? The life of the church. That the older man be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in the faith, in love and patience. The older women, likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not giving them much wine, teachers of good things. And then here it is in verse four, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children. This is the role of the older women. To admonish the younger to love their husbands, to love their children. And what does Proverbs tell us? Loving children is consistent of. You know you love them if you discipline them, if you withhold discipline from your children, if you withhold the rod from your children, you do not hate, you do not love your children, according to Proverbs. And so you've got these older women who are in the scripture told, they're told to do this. And if you don't reach out to them, well, it's pretty obvious that they're not going to push themselves on you. And so I'm asking you as your pastor to think about when you're going through some difficult times, especially if maybe some of you have more than one, or just one, that's fine. You've got some thoughts about it. What did you do in this situation? And when I say older generation, I'm thinking anybody in our church who's had kids that are already empty nesters. I think they have a tremendous amount to offer you and you would be ministering to them to allow them to share with you and you would learn so much from them. And so with that bit of pastoral instruction, here are some other practical thoughts on disciplining in your home. Some of these, I guess, repeats have been, I'm not apologizing for them. Number one, dad should be the primary rod user when he can. If your wife is home and she's keeping the children at home while you work. It's obvious that she has to be the user of the rod during the day, but dad should immediately take over weekends, nights, whenever else he can. And I think that for nothing else to help share the load for the wife, the wife shouldn't be doing it. And also because God is holding him primarily responsible for that discipline. Dad should be asking his wife, How did you discipline today? How many times? What did you discipline them for? Talk to your wife. Engage her in conversation so that you two can always be on the same page, which is my second point. Mom and dad need to work hard at being on the same page. If one of you is a little bit more of a pushover than the other, your child picks up on it like that. This hand does it better, like that. And so they recognize that if your spanking is a little bit softer, well, they'll make sure you're the one that spanks them. So if mom and dad are equal in the use of it, then that won't be a problem. If you're tempted to not do it as often, you don't like to do it, well, then your child's going to make sure that they're going to, they are so, they are just subjectively, they objectively and subjectively know how to do this. They're amazing little creatures. They don't even know they're doing it, but they figure out how to get the least amount of punishment for the crime, because when they know which parent is going to be the more of the soft. And so it cannot be that way. You have to be equally firm and relentless in your pursuit of doing it God's way. And if you haven't gone back to hear the other lessons, let me encourage you to do that. It's only four of the lessons. It wouldn't take that long to do it. So I wrote some more stuff down here. If there are disagreements between mom and dad, then you fathers need to take the lead and lovingly make your case for doing it your way from the scripture. Not just it's my way or the highway. No, if it's your way, but make sure you can back it up with scripture. And wives are called to submit to that biblical instruction. If mom is convinced, however, that you as the husband, you're not following the biblical method, Well, then as a wife, I would encourage you to do two things. Number one, you need to lovingly seek to show him from the Bible where he might be wrong. And secondly, having a submissive spirit wherever you can and teach him the biblical way by doing it in front of him in the life of the home. In other words, let him see how you discipline. If it is biblical, it will be effective. And perhaps it will convince your husband that it's the right way to go, even though it's the hardest way to go. Anybody can parent the way of the world by either just letting them play, letting them get away with lying, letting them get in the way with this disobedience, letting them get in the way with their attitudes and their stickiness. It's easy just to let it go and they'll just grow out of it. That's what the devil tells you. They'll just grow out of it. But actually what they do is they grow more and more like the devil. And the sooner you nip this quote in the bud early, You're going to have a sweeter child at three and four. They're going to want to obey and they're going to understand that when you spank them at three, four and five, they've already learned at one and two, mom and dad are serious. Thirdly, don't administer the rod to a child in front of other siblings. They have enough shame to deal with having to look at you in the eyes when you spank them. They don't need the pressure of the siblings, especially when they get a little bit older. And I've seen this. especially if the boy's thinking, you know, I'm going to be tough. I don't want my little brother to see me, you know, cry. So he's just going to try to rebel at the spanking because he's trying to be, you know, Mr. Tough Guy in front of his siblings. Get that out of the picture. Take him alone. Go somewhere alone. Fourthly, and I've mentioned this before, don't use your hands. The rod is what they have their eyes to be fixed on. It should not be that which you also reach out to hold them with. When they see those hands coming down, they ought not be thinking, oh, am I going to get smacked? They should never think that that's what your hands have ever been used for, but to hold them, hug them. So whatever you think is appropriate, whether it's a wooden spoon, a paddle of some kind, nothing that's going to break them, be child abuse, or draw blood, or break bones. You don't use baseball bats. but a paddle that stings. Stings is a key word. So here's a general process, and I think I've inserted this in several times over these past lessons, so I'm just kind of putting it all together here again for you really quick. So here's just a general process if something's happened and the child needs discipline. Make sure there has been a clear violation of the law of God or one of your rules. You're not spanking them for something superficial, but something that's legitimate, that they've dishonored you, whether it is because they disobeyed you and they didn't do what you tell them to do, or what have you, or they did stick their tongue out at you, or they threw their bowl on the floor in anger. There's just that little rebellious spirit coming out. You've got to deal with that. And so you make connection. What you did was sinful, and this is why it's sinful. Secondly, you make sure your heart Your heart is right. You cannot spank them in anger. You cannot spank them with sort of a flippant attitude. I really don't want to do this. I know the preacher said I got to go do it. No, it's a precious, precious opportunity that you better not waste. You'll regret it. So make sure your own heart is right. Thirdly, as I mentioned earlier, explain the sin and its consequences. There are consequences eternal. and temporal, tell them about both. Go for the heart, remember, shepherding a child's heart, you're going after the heart, you're not after trying to you're not trying to get them to just do what you want so you can have a peaceful home, you can come home and there's no running and fussing and carrying on and they're not fighting each other and scratching and pawing. And that's all you want. If all you want is a peaceful home, just shut the door and put them in the attic, you know, you want to teach them. So do this by asking questions. Engage your children, even when they're one or two. If they're able to talk or whatever, ask them a question. Do you understand why this is wrong? Do you understand why Daddy has to do this? What did you do that was wrong? Did you hit your sister? Why did you hit your sister? That's sinful, isn't it? Jesus says that we have hate in our heart. We've committed murder. It's very bad. And then the next thing is you explain why you administer the rod. And this goes to something that Pastor Martin would say later, and I'm going to read his little principles later. But as you put it on God, God says, I am responsible, honey. And the reason I'm doing this is because I am going to give an account of how I have raised you. And one of the things as a father, I have to, I have to discipline you. And if I fail to discipline you, God is going to deal with me in the judgment. And this is for your good. In fact, he says it's the first commandment with the promise that you may have long life. Explain why you must administer the rod. And as I've said many times, lastly, that is affirm your love. Affirm your love. So you spank them. Hopefully, hopefully they're crying. Now, you don't want to keep spanking until tears come out, but if you've only spanked them two times and they're still kind of grinning, They're not sweet enough yet. Their wills have to be broken. You don't break the body. And it's not the whole part of provoking them to wrath. It's lovingly administering the discipline until they recognize they have to bow to you honoring you and to obeying you. This is the way it's got to be. And I love you, honey, but it's the way it's got to be. And so you affirm your love, and then you start asking, do you understand why daddy had to do what he did? And so daddy's going to pray for you, that God would help you not to do that anymore. So let's pray, OK, honey? Let's pray. So you hold her hand. You pray. You get through praying. And then you hug them. You may need to ask them if they still kind of feel a little short. Just be tender and open about that. But you want to be able to get a hug of embrace. And so, you know, daddy understands that you need help and we all need help, honey. And so God's going to we're going to pray that God will give you a new heart and you'll you'll be able to overcome some of these things and you won't do them anymore. So it's lovingly explaining, administering the discipline with the gospel, with love. And listen to this, if the child does something 20 minutes later and you've gone through all of that. Do it again. If your child does something again that warrants the same thing an hour after that, do it all over again. That's where it gets hard, but that's where the battle is. And if you're willing to fight that battle up front, then you won't have to keep going at six months later. You do it, it may take 10 times a day for a week or two weeks, but at some point they're going to get it. You just have to trust God's word. You just have to believe. And this is going to be one of the points later. You've got to believe that this really works if you stick to it. And if you do what God says, it will work. So this is generally the method I've used in the years, learning most of it from Ted Tripp and other things, but before I go on to my second point, I just want to quickly run over the things that AJ sent me over that Pastor Martin taught seven principles on using the rod, and it was part four in a series called Family Living, Punishment of Children, March 21st, 1993. I apologize, I won't have a lot of backup for this because I just want to mention them to them because some of them overlap, but he says, always administer in God's name, which I kind of touched on, always administer discipline in love as the Father Loves whom the father loves. He disciplines. So you make sure that's your motivation. It's not just because you want a peaceful home that you really love this child and you want to see them to be right and do right and come to know the Lord. Always administer discipline with reason. Don't set your expectations too high. Don't put more rules on them than they can handle. You know, keep them short as possible, but you enforce them. You have a lot of way for leeway, but if you put up a whole bunch of rules, you'll be doing it, you'll be doing discipline way too many times, and you shouldn't have to be doing that. So, you know, keep a limit on the rules that you, the expectations you have in your home. Make sure they understand them up front. Make sure you go over them with them. These are the things in this home that you will do, and these are the things that you will not do. Keep molding them, keep teaching them, whether it's at family worship, whether it's at dinner table. These things that you definitely want to be adhered to in your home, when they're in your house, These things you will not do. These things you will do. And you just keep hammering those things and you administer the discipline when they're not followed. So you don't, you know, draw out this long list. You know, I told you if you didn't keep your dresser door shut, you'd get a spent, you know, none of that. Just got to be, you know, wise at that. And then he says here, always administer discipline with sufficient firmness to accomplish its goal. Again, your children know if it hurts. And if it doesn't hurt, they don't care about your discipline. You know, it's just, okay, I got to go through this little spiel with dad or mom and, okay, go ahead. Okay. It has to, as Pastor Martin says, it's sufficient firmness to accomplish the goal. And if you're doing it lovingly, you won't hurt them. And at the second time, the other way, you won't do it so soft that it doesn't work. If you don't administer it properly, it will not work. And then this one, number five, as I said, there were seven of them. Always administer discipline with unrelenting consistency. And in talking with the parents here, I know that as a parent, this is the hardest one, really, when it comes down to it. It's one thing to stop what you're doing and go do what I just talked about the first time. But then they're bad again 20 minutes later or an hour later. relenting consistency, but it's that unrelenting consistency that first week or two or three weeks, you will see. Trust, you just test God's word, test Him. And you'll learn, it works. If you want a child who will obey, will honor you, then just commit, you and your wife, your husband, and you too, commit that you're going to do this. And you husbands who have to go to work all day, you need to support your wife in this and say, honey, did you do it? Were you consistent? Did you have, you know, it doesn't matter how many times, I'll take over. And you just like, you know what? Some of you do this with your finances. We're going to buckle down here. We're going to get out of debt. We're going to do this thing. I'm sick of being this way. I'm going to do it. And you've got to think much more than it's much more important for your children's souls that you do this than even your financial situation. You buckle down, we're going to do it this way. And it's not contrary to Scripture. Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on their destruction. Always administer discipline proportionately. You know, how many times? Tell them how many times. Don't just go up there until you start feeling like you want to stop. Always explain, honey, you did these two things, or daddy's going to spank you for one, for each one. Or you did this, and this is a really bad thing you did, so daddy's going to have to spank you three times. Or maybe it wasn't that bad, but it still deserves discipline, so you're only going to spank once, so they understand you can't be doing this. So administer it proportionately. Number seven, always administer discipline prayerfully and in faith that it is God's appointed means for correcting your children. That's what I was just got to talking about. You just got to believe and understand that this is what the Bible teaches. This is how you do it. And if you do it the way God says, he will honor his word and you will see tremendous impact on your parenting with your children. So that was Pastor Martin's seven principles. Now, as a reminder, other things that I have said in this area are such things as this. Never threaten any discipline that you have no intention on carrying out. Just don't do it. Son, if you don't stop that, I'm going to spank you. Well, he doesn't stop. Son, I told you if... No. You know what he's hearing? You don't believe. You're not a man of your word. You don't do what you say. I can't trust you either. You want me to stop lying, but I can't trust you either, Dad, You don't ever do what you say. So secondly is to keep your word. Whatever you say you will do, if they don't obey, then do that. This is that whole relentless consistency thing. Whatever you say that you will do, do that. Don't ever threaten, do anything. Whatever you tell your children, carry it out so when they hear you, They know you mean it. They know that if they don't do X, Y, and Z, they will get a spanking. And there's no way out of it. There's no amount of crying or begging or whatever. You're going to get it. You understand that? And then thirdly, it's not all about the rod. Don't forget to share that positive reinforcement. And Ted Tripp talks about this as well. When you see your child do something positive, encourage them. Thank you for helping mommy in the kitchen today. Son, you did a good job of cleaning your room up. I'm real proud of you. Put your toys back in the rack. That's great, son. They need to hear that, too. They need to hear that, too. So number two, so there is several of the practical things about disciplining the rod in the home. How about in the public? How about disciplining in public? Well, Ted Tripp says to never let anyone but mom and dad administer the use of the rod. That may be, I think, perhaps I would be willing to do a little bit different if my child were at my mom's and dad's. Of course, my dad's not living or anything, but my point is that I might be willing to entrust, especially if they're staying a long time. If it's just an overnight thing, no, but if they're there for a few days, you know, visiting grandmom and they're four or five or six and they get into some trouble, then they might need to be taken over. But primarily, you know, we live in back in the day in the fifties that, you know, your Sunday school teacher would do it, your teacher at public school would do it. It's like anybody could do it. I mean, you just couldn't get away from it. And maybe you all disagree with what Ted says there. I mean, that's fine. That's just me personally. I'm sharing that with what I think. And so this is Not the law of the Medes and Persians, but I just think that it's probably the most healthiest thing, that your children know that you're the only ones that's going to do that. And I don't find anything in scripture that allows others to be doing it so much. It's the responsibility of dad, specifically, and also mom. So what if your child's disobeying or being very belligerent in a store? That's never happened to anyone in here, but I'll go ahead and teach on it anyway. Well, you could threaten to spank them when you get home. But never threaten them in the store what you don't plan on doing later when you get home. Okay? And if you do this enough times, they'll know when they go to the store that, hey, if I mess up at the store, I know what's waiting for me when I get back. I'm not going to get out of it. And it's so cute and funny over the years. Our kids would get in the car, drive home from the store, and they'd start laughing. We'd start having a good time. They'd think Daddy forgot. We didn't forget, did we, darling? We didn't forget. So we had to transition in that fun mood. You know, they think it was all being so cool. Honey, come on, it's time to go back in the room. For what, daddy? You know what daddy said was, I thought you forgot, you know, no, no, no. Now, if things seem to be getting out of control and no verbal threats are working again, this is just your pastor offering some of his own advice. I would suggest, if at all possible, that just leave. and go home and administer the discipline. You're better off without your purchase than to allow your child to live in rebellion against you at the store, or to make you so bitter and angry that you're tempted to do something at the store you'll regret. Don't fall prey to the bribes. Honey, daddy will get you a candy bar if you just sit down in the cart. They must learn to obey because it's God's law, and he said there would be consequences for disobedience. He never said there would be a reward for being obedient. It may be a good practice, sort of a grace reward, that in other words, if they've been obedient for a season, you may want to surprise them with a treat at time to time, but don't let them think that every time they go to the store, if they're good, they'll always get a treat. That's one of the things that Eve and I worked on, is that we didn't think they should be expecting a treat every time they went to the store. So we wanted to get them one every time. Our hearts love our children. We just love to bless them. But we wanted them to learn that that's not what happens. We don't take you to stores so you can get a treat. And so that we would purposely sometimes not get them anything. We're not so good with that anymore. But anyway, we used to do that when they were little. They would learn, you just don't get a treat every time you go to the store. Now, that is some of the thoughts on public stores and what you do with discipline. What about visiting in others' homes? You've been invited over for hospitality either by church members or others. So what if you're visiting with friends and family who are not Christian? And you might be afraid they would turn you in if you disciplined. Maybe they don't like the way you're doing it. They would, you know, like the world, accuse you of child abuse. Perhaps then you would use the same model you would use at the store. You can tell them when they get home, you know, what's going to be happening and we'll talk with you about it when we get home or maybe you need to Cut the evening short if they're just really, really bad and they're not doing well, and you go take care of it. You spend a long time explaining why this is not acceptable behavior when we go into other people's homes, nor any other time. But if you're visiting a home where they are in agreement with your biblical parenting, I think it would be proper to ask if you could borrow a bedroom. If it's really bad, maybe the garage. More leg room out there, you know. Ask to go have a heart-to-heart with your child. I can give you a testimony. Ho-Joon and Yoo-Sung stayed with us before they moved to South Korea. And Trini was there. They were at our table in the kitchen eating breakfast. And Trini was just being belligerent. She didn't want to have the cereal or what this issue was. But Hojun, he just looks at me with that Hojun smile. He says, Pastor, is there a place I could go take Trini? I said, sure, help yourself. Go on upstairs. Come on, Trini. She comes back down. You could see she'd been crying. She obediently sat down, ate her breakfast, and we had a wonderful morning together. We went out and played on the swing. It was a beautiful spring day. But the man, you know, he asked and he used it. And his children are very, very well behaved because he's done this. He understands this. Our children need to learn to be respectful toward others. They need to be respectful of other people's belongings, their homes. And they will be required to do this when they become adults. And if they are not taught this when they're little, it's going to be hard on them when they're older. They won't respect other people's things. They can lead to that breaking of the commandment to not covet your neighbor's stuff. Well, we want our children to enjoy it when we visit other people, we as parents must keep watch out over our children when we're in other people's homes. It's not their responsibility. It's not the responsibility of the people who've invited you to watch over your children. But it is a two-way street. We're going to really start stepping on something here in just a minute. I don't know what I'm going to step on, but I'm going to just let it all hang out here this afternoon. Hopefully God will be pleased with you somehow. Guests should not expect a two-year-old to behave perfectly and sit still for two hours without being somewhat rambunctious. But neither should the guest be walking around in pins and needles afraid your child's going to fall down their stairs because they don't have a gate. I trust if both families are Christian, there'll be enough grace on both sides to not simply get through an evening together, but actually enjoy the evening together. When we have young families over, we should be engaging the children. We must be willing that should a lamp break or should a picture frame get broken, to remember that our that they are of little value compared to the worth of being able to love and to serve God's people. Open up your home and let it be God's domicile. If the Lord breaks His lamp, the Lord breaks His lamp. It's His lamp. Now you don't purposely try to do that, but Hopefully these things won't happen, but sometimes an evening can be ruined before it ever gets started simply because the people or the couple is afraid it's going to happen. So all night they're afraid it's going to happen, so they never have an enjoyment. They never enjoy the evening because they're constantly afraid that something like that's going to happen. And it works both ways. Both sides need to understand these things. So these are just simply some practical thoughts on having to use the rod in public, whether in stores or in people's homes. You need wisdom and you need discernment in these things, and it's not always one size fits all. But remember that last message, that if you're walking in the spirit, he will give you understanding and help you to do what is best. Now, lastly, let's talk about discipline in the church. Discipline in the church. Obviously, how you discipline in the home should for the most part carry over here in the church. One difference is rather than conducting the discipline in front of not conducting it in front of siblings, you would not want to be conducting it in front of members of the church. And so here we would encourage you as members of the church to either make use of the restrooms or the kitchen or in a place where you can be alone to talk and to administer that discipline. Now, when you do. What you do in the actual discipline is not going to be the same degree of time and engagement because you don't have that much kind of time here. It's probably going to be a little shorter in your execution of everything. But you still want to try to touch on all those things I just talked about. You still want to be able to talk about every one of those things I just said, but just a shorter version of it at church. So I want every parent to know that you can feel free to discipline your children here in the church and in private. And sometimes discipline causes the children to cry. But that's OK. If they're not crying, it may be you were not successful in convincing them they were wrong. As I said, don't take it wrongly and say, well, you know, you're not parenting unless you spank them so much that they do cry. But typically, if it really is affecting them, they will cry. Not in agony and the pain, but because they have done wrong. And you hope that there's a little conscience in that little body that God is using. So I want to take this time to kind of reaffirm the church's position in this area of children and in the public worship services. Your ultimate goal as parents of young children ought to be to be able to have them to sit quietly through the services. It is distracting. There's no way around it. When I'm preaching, I don't notice it. When Timothy preached last month, I noticed it a lot. I had not been used to it. And so it did. There was one particular sermon. I don't know whose child it was. I didn't have no idea, but I recognized that I just couldn't stay focused on the sermon. I was literally losing concentration. And I didn't want to be angry about it, I didn't want to be bitter about it, but it distracted me. I couldn't lie about what was going on in my own heart. And so realizing obviously that it's way too much to expect for one and two-year-olds to sit in the services, we supply nursery for infants to infancy, and up until when they're close to three even. So the kitchen now is converted to allow those who are not using the nursery. We don't demand that you have to use it. If you want to keep your children up here from the beginning, that's fine. We want you to worship God. We want you to be with us. But we are asking that you take them out and to do the disciplining or whatever you have to do. Maybe sometimes, especially when they're one or a little like that, they're just teething and they're not going to be quiet in the middle of the worship service. And the little boy and the little girl needs the vent. They're just going to cry. And this is why we've asked, you know, we set the kitchen up back there and we don't hear it in here when they're back there. And every child's different. So we don't know. We don't always set these kinds of things in stone as far as the age kind of thing. But we, you know, we have this rule book that we put together and we try to live by it. We want to work with all the young families. But here's what it says. All the young families should have been given a copy of it. Here are what the official guidelines state. The nursery is primarily for children two years of age or younger. However, this guideline is flexible since children's abilities to adapt to sitting in the services vary. We encourage parents to train their children for that time when their children will leave the nursery to become part of the assembly, usually by age three. The back rows in the sanctuary will be reserved for parents training children, training children to sit in the church, can begin with bringing your child or children into the service during the singing and taking them to the nursery before the message begins. And so there's something being said there in that guideline, that we put a greater premium on the preaching of the word. We're allowing a little more leeway, and you're training your children through the picking up of the offering and the reading of scripture. And we recognize that they're going to make noises. We've got to train them. We've got to bear with them on that. And we want to bear with you with that. But when it comes to the word being preached and souls are at stake and the sanctifying of God's people, we ask that there be a little bit more given to making sure that there are least amount of disruptions as possible. Now, it's in this area of training children to sit in services that can be difficult on all sides. OK. Nobody was going to say amen to that, but I know everybody was thinking. Now. The church has not had little children making noises in the services for a long time. When I first come here, the nursery didn't have a lot of dust in it, but there were certainly no children in it either. Until the Lord started blessing us a couple of years ago. And we have been so blessed. See, hear that? And I know it's not been easy for either side. Those who struggle on both sides. So I'm just going to deal with it this afternoon. I'm trying to deal with it pastorally. I'm trying to deal with it in love. And I hope it comes across that way. We need to go back to our Bibles and let the word of God frame our hearts. And here's what it says. Romans 15, 1 to 3, we then who are strong are to bear with the scruples of the weak and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good. leading to edification. For even Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, the reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me." And so if you're an older adult who's not used to the noises, then the text would say to you, bear with the young families as they're training their children. There's no way we can expect perfect silence while parents are training two- and three-year-olds to sit in a one-and-a-half-hour service. And we're not asking for perfection. But then let us consider the text as parents with young children. How might you bear with the weak who struggle to hear the sermon with excessive noise and to not please yourself? Well, if you know that excessive noise interrupts the service and causes your brothers and sisters to be distracted from hearing the word, would you not want to take your child out before things get too bad? And obviously, where that line is, brethren, it's going to be different for each side. There are mothers here who, when they bring their children to church and you hear the noises, mom's hearing, wow, I think they're barely talking today. I mean, at home, it's like the decimals up here. We come to church and it's down here, but down here for the older generation is up there, if you understand all of that. And so it's love, brethren, for one another, it's being seeking to bear with one another in these things. The main point, though, is this, that you are genuinely motivated To take your child out because of your love for the weaker brethren who are struggling with this, not out of anger, not out of fear. And those who think the noise has crossed the line. Where parents don't think they've crossed the line or the threshold. Well, then you, too, out of love, need to bear with the young families. They're all really extremely stressed. And they need love and support, not a spirit of criticism. The priority of all should be to consider what is best for the worship of God and for the good of my brother and my sister. And also having a desire that God's worship be conducted with as much reverence, as love and love as possible. We want not only our brothers and sisters to come and to get fed and to sense the presence of God, but especially also when we have visitors. And our visitors just need to understand with a church filled with little ones like what we have, there are going to be some noises. And I conclude with this, you know, we could go back and read 1 Corinthians 13 and find out what love does. Love surfers long, right? Bears all things, believes all things. But I conclude with this sort of pastoral word to you. I'm asking both sides to squeeze in a little tighter. OK? Whether it's the mothers and the moms and the dads, being a little bit more sensitive to the noise if you can. And those who perhaps struggle with the noises, I'm asking you to bear with them because you're not going to get a church where there are no noises unless you want a church without babies. And I don't want one like that. And I know you don't either. And so brethren, let us love one another. Love is from God. This is how we are to do it, to bear with one another, to love one another. And that takes all of us making a little effort, not for ourselves, but for our brothers' sake and our sisters' sake. Both sides coming together. Because it's going to be a while, brethren. We got two more on the way. And others who are praying for it. So we may be in this whole na-na-goo-goo sound for a long, long time. And so maybe, hopefully and prayerfully as the years come upon us, that we will love one another. This is a perfect opportunity for us to show the power of the gospel. God has changed our hearts that we can do these things for one another. We can bear with one another on both sides and work together so that the worship of God is freely going out. And that your children are going to have a church someday where that good news is preached. Your children someday will be a part of a church where its elders believe the gospel and hear the gospel. We can. And who have pastors who are concerned about their souls, who come into your homes and ask you about how they're doing so that we can all join up together at the end. Isn't that where we're wanting to go? We all want to end up there together with our loved ones. As many as the Lord our God. is pleased to choose. Well, brethren, may God help us to abide by these. And anything I've said that's outside of the scriptural bound and you want to discuss it, I'm open to that. You know, some things I've said are just pastoral things that I've said, and some of it is very much grounded to the principles of Scripture. And so in that, you are to be heeding that. And the other things, heed them if you believe that they are good advice And also, to some degree, grounded in the scripture. Well, with that, let us pray. Our Father and our God, we are thankful indeed for this opportunity to be together as a church family. It's in your providence, Lord, that we have become covenant members, one of another. And we are part of the body and each member needs the other member to be able to be a full working body. When one weeps, the other weeps. When one rejoices, we all rejoice. And so, Lord, as a congregation, we are thankful today that you have blessed the womb of so many young women in our church. And we have our quiver full in the nursery. And we thank God for them, Lord. And we know it's difficult. It's difficult at lunchtime when they're not feeling well or rambunctious. It's difficult during services. Oh, Father, we just pray that the families would know that We will bear with them. We will love them through this until they come of age and can grow and learn and sit in Sunday school and worship and learn of the Lord. Oh, please, Father, help us. Give us a spirit of unity and oneness and love for one another that we might indeed grow in grace and in knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, in whose name I pray. Amen.