Good evening, brethren. Our text for this evening can be found in Psalm 141, if you'd like to turn there with me and hold your finger there for a few minutes. The title for the sermon this evening, if you'd like to make note of such things, is Giving and Receiving Rebuke. Giving and Receiving Rebuke. But before we begin, let's go to the Lord in prayer once more. Our Father in heaven, how thankful your people are in this room who have received that great rebuke from heaven that has found a target in our hearts. And we pray this evening as we open your word that you would enlighten our minds and renew them as we consider what are our responsibilities toward one another as we seek to encourage each other on the path of holiness. Would you help us and help us to apply this text to our lives? And we ask this in Jesus' name, amen. Now it's Thanksgiving week, and so many of you, I'm sure, are right now beginning to think about the kind of conversations that you'll be having together around the circle with your family and friends. And there will be a question that everyone will be discussing that goes something like, what are you thankful for this year? Many of you will do this. And I can guess many of perhaps the most common items that you might share at those kind of times, some of those things we all share together at various times and seasons, some of the things that are unique that we've been praying for each other in this congregation about. But I can also guess something that might be less common in these conversations, something that might not come up as often or in these conversations this week. Imagine one of your children or family members when it comes time for their turn to answer that question, they say something like this. This year, I am especially thankful for how I have been rebuked. I think a lot of us would be very surprised to hear that, and we'd have a lot of questions. So tell us more about this. Tell us about why you're thankful for this. Well, I'm guessing most of you probably don't have rebuke on your Thanksgiving bingo card. I know I wouldn't necessarily either. Most of us don't like rebuke. It makes us uneasy, it makes us anxious, and it makes us fearful. whether we're on the giving end of rebuke or whether we're on the receiving end of rebuke. But why is it that we feel this way about rebuke? And we want to ask this question today of our text, Psalm 141. We're all sinners, saved by grace. Most all of us in this room would admit this. And so it should be our desire to be holy as God is holy. And so we should love to be rebuked, and we should see the value of the rebukes of our brethren toward us and ours toward them, those who are in Christ. But it's just not that easy, is it? Well, I'd like to ask, what is rebuke? And rebuke, I think, can be summed up as any time another person speaks to us about a particular matter of sin or foolishness or a lack of understanding, and this person seeks to instruct us in a better, a good biblical path of wisdom or knowledge to move forward in. And so rebuke is like a friend giving us a gift of righteous gold and silver. That is the testimony of the scriptures. In Proverbs 8, were urged to prize wisdom and instruction over gold, silver, and jewels and over every precious thing that we could ever desire. And so of all the things that we have to be thankful for this Thursday and all year, the wisdom given to us through the instruction and rebuke of righteous parents, pastors, and friends should be at the top of the list. I think we could all say that. But while there are perhaps a few in this room that really love rebuke, there might be a few of you that really, really like it and like doing it, most of us probably don't. We probably don't like giving it or receiving it. And I think this is a particular weakness for us as Americans who prize something called personal peace. The normal response that you might find here toward rebuke is something like, mind your own business. You try to rebuke someone particularly in the world, your neighbors. Mind your own business is a common one. I'll live my life, you live yours and we'll be fine. That's it. And perhaps the most common reaction toward rebuke in our culture would sound something more like this. That makes me feel bad. And that's not a very nice thing to do. Now telling others the hard truth is not a virtue in our culture, it's actually a vice. And I think that this error affects all of us, maybe more than we realize. And some of us will do very brave things, but when it comes to going to a brother or sister to point out some sin to them or discuss some matter with them, a biblical concern, we feel really paralyzed. Despite all the brave things we might do in our jobs or in our hobbies and so forth, we feel paralyzed when it comes to rebuking someone else or ourselves being rebuked. Well, in our text this evening, the Lord has provided some lessons for us on giving and receiving rebuke that will help us overcome our tendencies to either avoid or handle rebuke badly. So let's hear the word of the Lord from Psalm 141. We're gonna read from verse five, and just the first three lines of verse five. Let a righteous man strike me. It is a kindness. Let him rebuke me. It is oil for my head. Let my head not refuse it. Now this verse teaches us that faithfulness and wisdom sometimes require us both to go to others and lovingly rebuke them as well as to graciously receive the rebuke of our righteous brethren. That's sort of the main idea of our text this evening. I'll say that one more time. This verse teaches us that faithfulness and wisdom sometimes requires us both to go to others and lovingly rebuke them as well as to graciously receive the rebuke of our righteous brethren. Most English translations organize this passage into three lines. with two parallel statements and a conclusion. But for our purposes this evening, I'll open this passage under three headings, and that is the rebuker, then second, the rebuke, and then finally, the rebuked. That's how we'll open this passage this evening. So let's first consider the rebuker. The first verse begins, let a righteous man strike me. And here, the author of the psalm, David, confesses his sincere desire to be struck by the righteous, which is a reference to rebuke, as you see from the second line. David, a wise man, knew that he stood in need of even greater wisdom than he had at that moment. And so he actually invites the rebuke of the righteous. Let the righteous strike me. And the first observation I like to make about this verse is the characterization of the rebuker as one who is righteous. The righteous, the strike of the righteous. This text teaches that if God's people are to have godly rebukers in our midst, they need to be those who are first and primarily concerned with their own sincere righteousness and holiness. The righteous rebuker is one who is himself characterized by wisdom and righteousness. We don't want to be those who are straining gnats while we swallow camels, and neither do we want to be those who are guilty of plucking little specks out of our brother's eyes while large logs of the same sin protrude from our own. The righteous rebuker, on the other hand, is one who finds rebuke toward others flowing out of his own serious and sober standards for himself. It's because he's so concerned for true righteousness and holiness in his own walk that he sincerely desires to see his brethren walk closer with the Lord and with their brethren. Of course, this is not someone who's sinlessly perfect when the text uses the word righteous. He's not speaking of someone who's sinlessly perfect. But this is someone who's walking with the Lord. Christians who walk with Christ and are filled with the Spirit of God are the righteous ones that are ultimately pointed to in this passage. So if we are to righteously rebuke others, we must be those who are righteous in character, righteous in character. But this also means, beyond just character, that we must have righteous purposes for which we are rebuking our brethren. And this means that our purposes should be wholly consistent with the moral will of God, which we, praise God, do not have to grasp in the dark for. He's made that abundantly clear to us through his word. And this means that we will be seeking God's will for the person we are rebuking and not just our own. That's a really important question to ask ourselves because sometimes we can issue a rebuke that basically at the root of it seeks to conform someone to our own purposes or desires without regard to the revealed will of God. What God says is best for this person. It's more what we think is best for this person. But we are a righteous rebuker only when we are seeking God's purposes for those whom we rebuke. But hopefully many a times those actually overlap. So the questions that we should ask ourselves if we find ourselves needing to rebuke others are, one, are we ourselves righteous or are we walking with the Lord carefully in this area? And number two, are we seeking God's purposes for the one we are rebuking. These are vital questions that we should ask ourselves so that we don't rebuke someone unrighteously. But we should also consider this as we evaluate someone who is rebuking us. If the rebuker has come to us and we need to do some evaluation of this rebuke. If a person who walks with God and is characterized by holiness and righteousness rebukes us, we should listen and carefully consider what they tell us. On the other hand, we should be extra cautious before heeding the rebuke of the unrighteous. We don't want to be like Rehoboam, who we read about perhaps earlier this year, who listened to the cool advice of his very youthful friends who grew up with him, instead of the seasoned counsel of the wiser, older men. And there is something else that this psalm implies about the rebuker. David indicates that he needs. the rebuke of the righteous. I believe that's implied here in his invitation, let the righteous rebuke me. That comes out of a sense of his knowledge of the need for such a rebuke. The people of God likewise need the rebukes of righteous men. It's one means to us to press on in holiness as the word is applied through the preaching of the word. Then as it trickles down to personal conversation and applies to individuals through iron sharpening iron. This is needed by the people of God. And this means that our own pursuit of Christian holiness is not just a private matter. It's not just a private matter. Our individual sanctification is critical for the overall health of the whole body of Christ, our families, but also our church as well. How can we as a body grow in wisdom and holiness if we lack the rebukes of our righteous brethren and the heeding of those rebukes? If one member suffers, all suffer. And if we're not walking in holiness, we will not be able to righteously goad one another on the path to Zion, the path of righteousness. And all of us will suffer because of it, our churches and our households as well. So brethren, we should pursue holiness, not only so that we ourselves can be like Christ, but so that others around us, whom God has put us as ministers toward, can be made like Christ as well, even through this important means of rebuke. But having considered the rebuker, let us now consider our second head, the rebuke. David says, let a righteous man strike me. It is a kindness. Let him rebuke me. It is oil. for my head. Now in this verse, rebuke is illustrated in two ways and I think it's helpful for us just to consider both of these pictures that the psalmist gives to us. First, rebuke is described as a strike. Let the righteous man strike me. Now what is a strike? Isaiah uses this word in chapter 41 to describe the striking of an anvil to shape metal. And I think that this is a helpful illustration of our text as well. When shaping metal, one uses a hammer to strike a heated metal sheet against an anvil, shaping it, strike by strike, into the desired shape, a shape that is useful, more useful than that raw material. The strike is very forceful. It has to be forceful. I'm looking for Cody Sarsland, who would be nodding his head, a metal worker. The strike is forceful, but it has to be measured. and it has to be placed very carefully if it's going to shape the object into something useful. No metal worker can do the task well by simply striking an object haphazardly or in anger or unskillfully or in a rage, but he must carefully measure each stroke skillfully for the good of the object being shaped, this object's going to be useful. And receiving such a strike, It's not painless if the sheet metal could talk, it would tell you. Receiving such a strike is not painless. But this strike is necessary because the one being rebuked needs help to be shaped into the image of God. This is that ironing, sharpening iron. And it's necessary because there's some indulgence of sin or some kind of foolishness which we need to have pointed out to us so that we can repent and bring that into conformity to Jesus Christ. And this means that someone often must come to us and tell us something that is difficult for us to hear. We don't want to hear about it. We don't want to think sometimes those things about ourselves that this other person has noticed. And this person must risk the fact that the one they desire to help might not receive that very well. They might not like it. So they take a great risk in this. But according to Proverbs, This is the kind of thing that should characterize real and true friendship. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Profuse are the kisses of an enemy. It's the kisses of the enemy that are profuse, whereas the wounds of the friend are faithful. True friends of sinners are duty-bound to strike and even to wound their friends should they see them wandering in a foolish and sinful path. Such are our friends indeed, and should not be carelessly cast off, but they should be cherished by us. Who are your best friends, if not the ones who will tell you the hardest truths about yourself? And David says such a strike is a kindness. Now how can a strike be described as a kindness? The word here, translated as kindness, is in Hebrew the word hesed. Which may bring all kinds of scriptures to your mind is this word hesed in the in the original? This word is an important word throughout used throughout the Old Testament to describe God's faithful love toward his people famously so and Here are some of some of the verses that you would probably recognize and maybe have on a coffee mug somewhere The steadfast love, Chesed, of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness, Lamentations 322. And then there is the word to Moses from the Lord as he appears, shows him his glory. The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, Chesed, and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love, hesed, for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin. And so this word hesed denotes kindness, but it also can denote faithfulness, goodness, and steadfast love, even reminding us of that steadfast love and faithfulness which is shown to us sinners by our Lord. And think of it with me, just think for a moment, how patiently the Lord loves us despite our unfaithfulness, despite how much our sin must bother him. How he bears with us and his testimony is that despite our remaining unworthiness, he loves us because of the work of his dear son on our behalf, bearing our curse and penalty. And his testimony is that despite that unworthiness, he loves us and he bears with us patiently. A bruised reed he does not break, and a smoldering wick he does not extinguish. This is the patient love of the Lord. He should crush us for how we treat him, how we think about him on even a daily basis. And yet he is gentle, kind, and steadfast. toward us. And brethren, it is in this way that we are to rebuke others. In the same way that God faithfully loves and patiently corrects his wayward people, so we should with our brethren as well love them in the same way. But sadly, it's the case that most people don't associate this kind of steadfast love with rebuke. In our day, There's such an emphasis on preserving something called self-esteem, or the way someone feels about themselves, that rebuke and love are really seen as complete opposites, aren't they? And this idea has completely permeated our culture and it's even infiltrated many of our churches as well. We are, as a result of this, hypersensitive when it comes to rebuke. And many people just can't handle rebuke well at all. They will see it as automatically putting the person who dares to come to them at enmity with them over this disagreement with their way of life. And because of this, because of this pressure, I think many of us have been comfort conditioned not to rebuke others at all because of the risk involved and the unpleasant things it may bring for us. We might call this, for our purposes today, rebuke avoidance. Rebuke avoidance. And this is when something inside of us says, I think I should say that, but I'd rather not say that. That wouldn't be nice. It may not even be an eternal dialogue. It may just be an automatic feeling that you have. I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't rock the boat. I shouldn't poke the bear. But this often arises not from prudence or wisdom but from selfishness or cowardice. And brethren, the scriptures make plain that there are times in a fallen world when we must strike one another in love. If we're sincerely seeking the good of another person and we're assessing the situation according to God's revealed will, we should go to the person in love and we should rebuke them graciously and gently as God deals with us. We must not be so influenced by our culture of self-esteem that we are unwilling to risk the cost of faithfully helping our brethren stay upon the path of righteousness. If we are walking with the Lord and loving our brethren, each of us will have to occasionally wield the strike of kindness. There's no avoiding this. Just think about the risk that Nathan, the prophet, took when he went to King David. his sin. It was certainly difficult for David to hear but Nathan loved him so much that he did not want to see him continue in his unrepentant sin and so he obeys the Lord's summons to go to David at great cost to himself. Rebuking a king in such a serious and public matter as this could have cost him great suffering and even death or the loss of his position should David have not received it well. And brethren, we must so love our brothers and sisters that we would so strike them in faithfulness, regardless of the cost, to snatch them even from the fire. It is a kindness, as the psalmist says. But there's a second illustration that the psalmist uses. He describes rebuke as oil for the head, oil for his head. This picture of oil on the head It's a strange one to us nowadays. We don't have a lot of use for that. But it's very common, as most of you know, in the Old Testament. And let's just think about some of those uses in the Old Testament. The anointing with oil is something that was done at the consecration of kings and priests. And so the picture here is of honor being bestowed upon a person. Or if they're being set apart or consecrated for some great position of service for the people of the Lord. But oil is also used in reference to being cleansed from sin. You see that in Leviticus chapter 14 verse 29. It's also used to speak of general well-being. It signifies general well-being and richness. The preacher in Ecclesiastes 9.8, while exhorting us to enjoy the life that God has given to us, says, let not oil be lacking on your head. And the Lord Jesus also associates oil on the head with hospitality in Luke 7 when he rebukes Simon for his lack of hospitality toward him. Now while our text speaks against rebuke avoidance, we've seen this, this picture also addresses an opposite error. So there's rebuke avoidance, but there's also an opposite error as well. And this one we can call rebuke mongering, rebuke mongering. Now rebuke mongering is when we eagerly and even sinfully wield rebuke and anger or just generally to tear down another person and exalt ourselves. We enjoy a rebuke for the wrong reason, not to see our brethren lifted up, but to see ourselves exalted. We've all done this. The rebuke monger thinks that correction is throwing a truth grenade into the room and walking away. I've done my duty, I've been faithful, as explosions go off in the background. But this is not how a rebuke should be issued. Rather, it should be given as oil for the head. And this oil should be tinctured with the steadfast love, gentleness, and mercy that God has shown to us who must issue the rebuke. And when we find it necessary to rebuke someone, we should ask, am I sincerely doing this for this person's good? Am I wording the rebuke in such a way that is respectful to them or to their position or to their office? If they're your parent, if they're a pastor, if they're someone, are you being respectful to what God has called them to be over you in the midst of this matter you must bring to them? Is this stated in a way that assumes the best about the person and to uphold their good name? Is it concerned with the person's growth in holiness and righteousness? Is that at the heart of this rebuke? This is the kind of rebuke that is oil for the head, for the blessing of the one being given the rebuke. It is a strike, but it does not tear down, but it builds up. It is intended to faithfully, kindly, and respectfully anoint the person with greater holiness, love, and wisdom. So if you sit here tonight as the rebuke avoider or the rebuke mongerer, you're in good company. There's many of us here who fall perhaps on either side of this at times. This psalm encourages you toward what God desires you to be in Christ. If we are fearfully tempted to avoid rebuke, a good question that we should ask ourselves is, who am I to withhold this righteous oil from my needy brethren? Is it my place out of cowardness or the risk involved to withhold this blessing that the Lord would have me bring to this brother even though they might not like it? It's bigger than just yourself. And if we are the ready for battle rebuke monger, This text should make us carefully consider how to strike with kindness, gentleness, and steadfast love, even that which the Lord has shown to us. Well, now that we've considered the righteous rebuker and the nature of the rebuke, let us consider how this psalm helps the one who is rebuked. Some principles here for those being rebuked as well. In the third line of this verse, David says of the righteous rebuke, let my head not refuse it. Now I'm sure none of us here would claim that we possess all the wisdom and righteousness that we could attain in this life right now. None of us would say that. We would say quite the opposite. We're still lacking in these areas, and the word of God teaches that if we are in Christ, we will esteem wisdom more than gold, silver, and jewels because of how much we sense that we need it to be conformed to the image of Christ. And so we should delight in those things that increase our true wisdom and holiness and that includes rebuke as well along with those other means of grace that we receive through the preaching of the word and the teaching and so on. So if this is the case, why don't we like rebuke and why does it make us so uncomfortable to give it and to receive it, especially here to receive it as we think about the one who's being rebuked. Well, the Proverbs have a lot to say about refusing rebuke, and we want to keep those things in mind. There's a particular kind of person who is well known for disliking rebuke, and the Proverbs actually give this person a name. His name is Mr. Scoffer. Mr. Scoffer. It's said of him in Proverbs 15, 12, a scoffer does not like to be reproved. He will not go to the wise. And Proverbs 13.1 says, a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. So who is this scoffer and what does the word mean? Well, Proverbs 21.24 says, scoffer is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride. The scoffer, read it again, scoffer is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride. And the scoffer rejects rebuke precisely because he thinks he doesn't need it at all, because he's already got all that he needs to know, thank you. He is a proud man who thinks of himself more highly than he ought to think. Proud man, proud woman, proud child, fill in the blank. His self-assessment is off the charts, and it's not subject to being peer-reviewed. He is wise in his own eyes, and so he scoffs at that rebuke. I don't need that. I don't need that rebuke. Thank you. Now the Proverbs make a sharp distinction between the wise ones and the scoffer precisely when it comes to their receiving rebuke, how they receive it, how they respond to it, what they do when they are the subject of it. Just consider Proverbs 9, whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer or he will hate you. Reprove a wise man though and he will love you. While the scoffer hates the rebuke of the wise, those who are wise love more rebukes of the wise. This is their reaction to it. And how can that be? If a wise man is already wise, why does he need more wisdom? And why does he love rebuke? Well, the proverb continues, give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wise. wiser. Teach a righteous man and he will increase in learning." This is the craving of the righteous, the one who's possessed by the Spirit of God. He craves yet more wisdom and more righteousness. So the wise and righteous man knows and feels the remaining foolishness and sin in his heart. That's testified to him by that indwelling Holy Spirit that constantly shows him his flaws and how little he knows and how much he thinks he knows and how he needs correction to be prodded along in these areas. So he desires to increase his treasury of wisdom and righteousness. He's not resistant to it and so he loves the rebuke of his godly brothers and sisters. So brethren, And children, we have a choice to make every time someone corrects us. Will we shrug it off? Will we scoff and refuse instruction? Or will we love it? And David says, and I hope that's the prayer of all of us here, let not my head refuse it. If we are characterized by not receiving rebuke, we are rejecting kindness, we are refusing the oil of blessing, and we are scoffing at the means of grace that God has provided for us to grow in godliness, the very means he sent for our good. And this is a very dangerous place to be. Children, this is a very dangerous place to be, constantly scoffing at the rebukes and counsel of those who are wiser than yourselves and who are walking with the Lord. The Lord says that towards the scorners he is scornful, but to the humble he gives favor. The wise will inherit honor, but fools get disgrace. Proverbs 334. The question is, which one characterizes us, the scoffer or the wise? Well, let us endeavor by God's grace to be those who stand with the wise and humbly receive the rebuke of those who are righteous. Perhaps, just to illustrate this, perhaps one of the most gifted preachers in the New Testament that we know of was taken aside by a husband and wife, a godly husband and wife, and given the rebuke of the righteous of a more excellent way. Now, Apollos, he could have listened to them and turned to them and said, don't you know who I am? Ask anyone around here. You must be new around here. Ask anyone. They'll tell you how I preach. They tell you that I've got all this together. I understand these things. But Apollos does not react in this way, does he? No, Apollos recognized that even as one mightily gifted and blessed of God, he needed the righteous rebukes of others. It made a wise man still wiser. And who are we in this room to refuse the rebukes of God's Priscilla's and Aquila's that he's placed around us for our good? It's good to consider just how difficult it is for a person to come to you and give you this kind of rebuke. It's very difficult. And we should think about that when someone comes to us with a rebuke. They've taken a great risk. They've come over dangerous journey, so to speak, and made this attempt to to love us and be kind to us in this way, in striking us. It takes great love and faithfulness and a great courage as well. Yet they love you enough to come and tell you something that you may not want to hear or may not enjoy hearing. This is that faithful wounding of a friend. And the scriptures teach us that if the rebuke is righteous, then it should be worth more to us than gold and silver. And we should receive it eagerly. So how can we be defensive? How can we be offended or even dread when our brother sends us that text message? Hey brother, I need to talk to you. How can we dread when he's gonna give us something golden that's good for our soul? How can we be afraid of that? How can we refuse such a precious gift that is intended for our advancement in holiness and into the conformity of Christ? So then brethren, in conclusion, Let us be those who are characterized by love for rebuke and not as the one who is the scoffer. As rich as we are, we can always still be richer on this side of eternity. So let us not refuse the steadfast love and riches of holiness that our brethren have to bestow upon us. And let us eagerly receive the word of Christ that is gifted to us through the mouths of our faithful brothers and sisters, our faithful parents. Let us receive those as gold. And let us not shirk or avoid the responsibility that we have toward one another. Let us not be rebuke avoiders. Let us be strong and courageous to graciously, gently, and lovingly rebuke our brethren when the will of God requires it. Now some of you may be feeling beaten down by a text like this because you struggle and maybe this has hit you right in the target. It hits me in the target. So many opportunities to be faithful to our brethren that we have rejected for selfish reasons. If you've been unfaithful in this area, the Lord is merciful and gracious. And the Proverbs can be heavy and bring us low because it's the law of God applied to everyday living. That's what the Proverbs are. But the glorious news in the Gospel is that wisdom and holiness are not things that we must attain apart from Jesus Christ. He is that voice in Proverbs 1 that says, you simple ones, turn to me. Turn to me and I will give you wisdom. And so if this is you today, a rebuke avoider or a rebuke monger, confess your sin, look to Christ, and ask him to give what he commands. You are his child. He will not withhold from you. this blessing of being a more faithful rebuker and a more gracious receiver of rebuke as well. But lastly, I want to speak to those who are outside of Christ. Most of you have been lavished with the golden rebukes of others, your pastors, your parents. You've been absolutely made rich and wealthy by the rebukes of righteous men and women around you. you do not receive them. Repentance for you begins by recognizing that the righteous rebukes concerning your soul and your love of sin are great gifts of gold and silver and something to be supremely thanked for, thanking the Lord for. Cherish them. Agree with the word of God concerning your sin and the people who have faithfully struck you. Repent and turn to Christ that the oil of heaven, peace with God, may come upon your head. Do not refuse it again. Toward the scorners he is scornful, but to the humble he gives favor. The wise will inherit honor. but fools get disgrace. Let's pray. Our Father, how thankful we are for your word that is a light to our feet and a lamp to our path. Would you help us to apply this text as far as it is your will, this application of your word, would you please, may it build up the people of God, and help us to be faithful toward one another, that we might be presented one mature man to the glory of Jesus Christ. And we ask this in Jesus' name, amen.