morning and to be picking up the third week of our class on Christian living, hospitality and friendship, thinking together of a practical matter, practical matters of how we Dwell together, endeavoring as the body of Christ in our friendships with one another to keep the unity of the spirit and the bond of peace, to show hospitality to one another, to enjoy Christian friendship. So I'll be going over the handout that you should have before you. I think there's some perhaps in the alcove or the back of the room. And then I've got a few here with me as well, if you want to grab one of those. But we'll be considering today the matter of biblical friendship, something that Pastor Peter picked up last Lord's Day. And we'll continue on with the particularly challenging matter of of how to resolve brokenness and sin in our friendships and understanding the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ as it applies to our friendships and how these are to be restored when they get sideways. I've entitled our lesson, A Brother Offended and a brother restored, or you could say a sister offended and a sister restored. These two big ideas of friendships because of the fall, because of sinfulness, those friendships that go sideways happens Much of the time, happens often, because of our fallen human nature, that remaining corruption that still remains in us even as Christian believers, but then the vital necessity of restoring these things, these friendships in the gospel. So that's where we're going today as we pick up these themes of hospitality and Christian friendship. Before we go further, let's pray and ask for the Lord's blessing on our time together. Let's all pray. Our glorious God and Heavenly Father, we thank you again for our privileges. Thank you for the privilege of gathering with your saints on this, your day. We thank you for your church, the church which you, Lord Jesus, have purchased with your own blood. You gave yourself for your church that you might present her to the Father full of with glory full of grace to bring all praise to You, our Triune God. We thank You for the unity that we have, the communion of saints that we have as we're bound in common faith one with another. We ask that as we consider these matters of offense in our relationships and then of how those offenses might be made right, we ask for humility. We ask for the help of your Holy Spirit. We pray that you would give us wisdom that is from above, that you would help us to be gentle, that you would give us understanding, and that in this hour, this morning, you would help us to learn much that we might apply to our Christian lives for your honor, praise, and glory. We pray these things in Jesus' name, amen. A couple of things to start with. Let's go to Proverbs chapter 18. Proverbs chapter 18, and I'm gonna read a few verses that I think will help set the table for our understanding on friendship. Particularly offense and restoration in these friendships. Proverbs chapter 18. And we'll read, I think we'll read the first eight verses, and then we'll skip down and read a few verses at the end of the chapter. Some Proverbs that I think are particularly useful when it comes to discussing these matters of friendship. Proverbs 18, verse one, a man who isolates himself, seeks his own desire. He rages against all wise judgment. A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart. When the wicked comes, contempt comes also. And with dishonor comes reproach. The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook. It is not good to show partiality to the wicked or to overthrow the righteous in judgment. A fool's lips enter into contention and his mouth calls for blows. A fool's mouth is his destruction and his lips are the snare of his soul. The words of a tailbearer are like tasty trifles and they go down into the inmost body. Down, down to. Verse 19, a brother offended is harder to win than a strong city. And the contentions are like the bars of a castle. A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth, from the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. The poor man uses and treatise, but the rich answers roughly a man who has friends must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This is the word of God, as it speaks particularly to these matters of offense in our relationships and then of how we are to carry ourselves. Very practical instruction here in the Proverbs. dealing with our friendships. So let's jump right in. A brother offended offense that comes up in our relationships, and I'm thinking particularly again of our friendships and our relationships in the body of Christ with our brothers and sisters, with whom we have the communion of saints, a common savior, Jesus Christ, the bond of the spirit, all of these things together. How does offense so often come up in these relationships? Obviously, there are many ways in which you might get sideways with a friend, in which an offense might be taken. But I want to highlight several. You have them on your handout. And I think the first one, and perhaps the most obvious one, is the ungodly use of the tongue. almost innumerable ways that you and I can use our tongue to tear down someone else, to criticize them harshly, even to flatter them and build them up, falsely build them up. This is a big one and I want to spend some time talking about it. Lack of forbearance, you see as well. Incomplete or impartial reconciliation. And pride, which is the fuel, of course, of every conflict without only by pride comes contention, as the book of Proverbs tells us. So these are some various ways in which offense comes up. And you probably can think of many more, but these are a few that I want to focus our attention on. Ungodly use of the of the tongue, as we read this morning from verse 21 of Proverbs 18, death and life and the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit. What are some ways that we harm one another, that we sin against one another with our tongues? Well, first, I think, of course, is the matter of gossip and slander. What is gossip? The biblical idea is that of a slanderer, one who spreads false information or, alternatively, One who spreads the truth in a mischievous manner, or in a way that does not bring glory to God, a way that does not help our brothers or sisters in the Lord. It doesn't only, I think notably from the biblical understanding of gossip, is that it's not just misinformation, it's not just falsehood, a breaking of the ninth commandment in that way, But it's also speaking the truth unseasonably. I think that's one of the sins forbidden. If you read our larger catechism on the ninth commandment, speaking the truth unseasonably or in a mischievous manner is one of the ways that we can break this commandment in which we spread falsehood or present the truth in a in a way that brings harm to others. The idea also biblically is of a whisperer. One who speaks in a low voice, that bit of salacious news that so often we can be tempted to share with someone else, that tears someone else down. Romans chapter 1, notably in this list of sins that the apostle Paul goes into, in which the wrath of God is revealed, in this list, He includes whisperers at the end of verse 29, back biters and haters of God, violent, proud boasters, inventors of evil things. All right. So the idea of whispering, slandering the work of the of the tail bearer. Proverbs 11, 13 tells us that he who is trustworthy keeps a thing concealed. That part of our growth in grace, growing in conformity to Christ and serving our brothers and sisters well, is knowing how to handle the truth about others, knowing how to conduct ourselves even in the way that we converse one with another. So gossip. Let's dig a little bit deeper into this idea of gossip and slander. I'm going to ask you all a question, hopefully to get you thinking and maybe interacting a bit with me. Is every talk about someone else, every conversation about someone else, is it inherently, maybe talking about that person's faults, deficiencies, sins, any talk about someone else, that sort of context, is that inherently automatically possible? Question for you. And maybe some examples, if you don't think it is, maybe some examples. I'd say no because the session sits down and talks about it. Yes, yes, big one. Your elders discreetly and for the restoration of offenders do discuss these matters in shepherding care and that's not gossip. as long as it's discreet, it's glorifying to God, it's for the restoration of the offender, it's not spread like a rumor that eats through the congregation like a fly of your elders and their shepherding care. Other examples, I'm sure you can think of more examples. What about in the family? Those of you who are parents here. You talk about, I'm assuming you talk about your Children, their their gifts, their graces, their sins, their need for correction. Those conversations are not gossip. Those conversations you should be. In fact, you should be having those conversations as you pray for your Children as you think of them as you seek to instruct them. Those of you who have Children still in the home. I could even think of it of parents with adult Children. You see them, you know, carrying on their, starting their own homes perhaps, going out into the workforce, starting their own lives independent of the home. And you're still probably having, and should be having these conversations. What do we say if there's advice that needs to be given or do we just pray? These are, that's not, that's not possible. Other, can you think of any other examples? Yes, ma'am. What's that? I think so. Yes. Yes. The intent and improper. I'm also thinking about spheres of authority on those who have oversight of others or those close relationships with others. Intent is a big one here. I can also think, here's another one for you. Even in the workplace, managers, those of you who have managed employees, no doubt you've done evaluations, evaluating someone's job performance. Of course, that can, in the workplace, it's very easy for there to be gossip and slander spread about someone, but the idea of a manager coming alongside and evaluating perhaps along with fellow managers, those in place of authority, and looking at employees for possible promotions or even on the negative side, discipline, that's not, that's not cost. It's an authority structure that really, you know, publicly understood is there for the benefit of the institution and of the individual. Rebecca? The way I try to put it simply to my children, like if they want to complain about something a sibling or a friend or whatever has offended them, I tell them, if they're telling me to complain about it, then that's not appropriate. You're that person first. And they come to me, you try to call on them back to be a team. But if they want to come to me first for advice, how do I deal with this? Can you advise me, not really in a complaining manner, then that's acceptable. That's good. That's good. A big one here. is that, I'll read you this, gossip is best classified, best identified by the teller's willingness to have it reported that they were discussing the information. If you're sharing information about someone else that perhaps they have given you, that they've shared with you in confidence, and you're spreading that around, And again, it's not one of the areas, and of course, there could be others beyond the examples I've given. But you're spreading rumors or even spreading the truth unseasonably, that's gossip without that person's authorization. It harms them, does great harm and offense. It's a great sin against the Lord. And it's more than just the words that are coming out of your mouth. It's the intention of the heart, which is to tear someone else down. It's a great sin against them, and even a sin against the person who hears it. So gossip and slander, a sin of the tongue that brings great harm to our relationships. There's more. Another one. Flattery. Flattery. Maybe we don't think about this one in terms of a sin of the tongue, one that causes offense, but yet it does. What is flattery? Proverbs 26, Proverbs 26, 28. It discusses the flatterer. A lying tongue hates those who are crushed by it, and a flattering mouth works ruin. And just as much as lies work against others and offend others, so does flattering. Flattering, what it's not. It's not encouraging someone else. Certainly we have a responsibility to give an accurate and an honest assessment of one another, gifts and graces, and encouraging others along the way, giving others a sober and true evaluation of their gifts and abilities. But what is flattery? What is flattery? If any one of you can give us a good working definition. Ryan. Yeah, no, that's an exaggerated phrase, and it's more than just an exaggerated phrase. It's really to create a debt in that person. It's to, it's really, it's quite a, a deceptive and manipulative sin to create that debt, to make that person as someone who's foolish, not wise to the fact that they're being flattered and built up unjustly. It's very manipulative. flatters, obviously, and add for the person who receives that flattery. I think we need to be particularly conscious of the way that we field our children in this way. This is, I think, a good reminder for all of you who have young children. Be honest with them. Encourage them along. Give them an accurate assessment of their gifts and their abilities. But don't exaggerate the price. Don't make them think that they're gifted to a degree that they're not, or that there's something that they should pursue that they really should not. Going back to an example I gave you earlier, and this is, I think, one where offense comes in so much in our relationships. Going back to the idea of managing others, even in the workplace, Children who have received flattery and have that exaggerated view of their own gifts and graces, sometimes they're never really able to deal with honest assessments of their performance, of their need for continued growth. And perhaps you've seen this if you've ever managed employees, that sometimes those who think they're performing to the highest level may be those who have the most need for improvement. This is more than moralism, more than principles for living. It gets back to the very heart of the gospel that declares to us who we are. and enables us to be honest with who we are. So flattery strikes at the very heart of the gospel, because flattery says that you have this exaggerated sense of your own importance, of your own giftedness, of your own abilities. When the gospel comes and tells us, no, you're a sinner. You're dead in trespasses and sins. You're corrupt. Your desires are twisted. Your will is hard. and you need the saving grace of Christ. And I think understanding the gospel for us is really that both for the person who flatters and the person who receives, we need to reflect much on the gospel, who we are, and who we are in Christ, and even how our Heavenly Father, we have an accurate view of how our Heavenly Father in Christ views us as his purchased possessions, his bride, then we are able to have an accurate assessment of gifts and graces. Mr. King, please. This is perhaps somewhat unrelated, but I'd like your opinion about audiences who constantly applaud speakers. particularly in the Christian realm, where I've heard excellent men who are speakers, but the congregation constantly is applauding them, every two or three minutes it seems. And I've always felt that when the applause begins, the spirit withdraws. But that's my own subjective assessment. But I wondered what you think about applause and giving applause to those who are presenting the gospel. Yeah. In the public worship of God, I do not think that applause is appropriate. Yeah. I think that much should be obvious. Beyond that, I know there are other formats where it happens. I tend to, I don't want to be over Luke automatic, I think that we do need to be very careful about creating that dead in someone else and inflating that person's sense of ego and particularly when we When we think of the public ministry, and this is, you know, obviously I'm very conscious that I'm taking up the office of your pastor, and I don't need to have an overinflated view of myself and my own gifts and graces, and I think that between pastor and congregation there should be a a simple gospel-oriented honesty with one another of our need for growth and grace, of perhaps encouragement where it's good and where it's honest, where it's accurate, then also honest, loving talk of where we need to continue to grow together. And I'm not sure that endless applause does that. But very good point. from Mr. Van Voorhis. So the sins of the tongue, our time is rapidly moving here, but if harsh, I also have on here harsh critical words, a great sin against friends, against the body of Christ, a constant and endless stream of anger, of bitterness, of harsh words. Obviously, that brings offense in our relationships. So, the sins of the tongue. Also, lack of forbearance. Lack of forbearance would be another place in which offense happens. 1 Peter 4a, above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins. As well as Proverbs 10, 12, hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins, a lack of forbearance in our relationships. The inability, the inflexibility to bear with all the little things that people do that can If we're not careful, get under our skin. Even the small offenses, and of course I'm not talking here about sins that need to be owned, confessed, made right, and even brought ultimately, if someone's unrepentant, brought to the church. I'm not discussing that category. I'm talking about this, again, this harsh inflexibility in dealing with one another. Love covers a multitude of sins. And again, this is not moralism, it gets right back to the heart of the gospel. If we understand who we are by nature in Adam, and then who we are in Christ, and God's great forbearance and his patience with us in the gospel, how much more than ought we to be able to put up with others, to bear long with them, to be long-suffering on the word that the King James Version uses in this regard. So some practical things from the scriptures regarding our biblical wisdom for exercising forbearance. So we must not allow ourselves to be sensitive to every slight received from others. Again, Shelly made a great point about intent earlier. Be very careful about reading intent into the things people might say offhand or the things that they might do. Don't form rash judgments against one another. 1 Corinthians chapter 13, the chapter of charity, of love, instructs us well in this way. 1 Corinthians 13. Love suffers long in its kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. All right. This also, this also has to do, this idea of forbearance in our relationships and the lack thereof that so often causes offense. It even has to do with the way that we discuss our convictions and doctrine. How many of y'all have heard of the cage-stage Calvinist? So you've heard of the cage-stage Calvinist. We love the Reformed faith. We love the faith that's once delivered to the saints. We believe that the Reformed faith, as summarized in our confession and catechisms, is the finest summary of that doctrine ever penned, by any estimation. undermining our view of the Reformed faith. But there is also, there's a tendency, even for perhaps younger people, maybe even younger men, who come to these convictions, to hold everything so tightly, to be aggressive about it, even to be harsh in relationship, angry in the way that they discuss these matters, taking the whole set of doctrines and beating them over the heads of others. This is not the way of our Savior. We ought to be more in love with the Christ. All these doctrines point rather than just merely the system. Be careful, even in the way that we discuss our convictions in sound doctrine. We want to encourage one another to growth. to grow in the grace and the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ and not be stagnant. But if someone just discovered, you know, we're again a reformed church. We have a high view of worship and of the Lord's day. Someone comes, doctrines of grace as well. God's electing grace in Christ and the necessity of the spirit and regeneration. If someone is just discovering these things, just finding out about them and studying the scriptures, be gentle. Be wise and patient in your dealings with them. Show them grace and forbearance, even as the Lord has with us. Yes, Mr. Ma'am. Our friend Ian Hamilton has said that he finds it difficult to be harshly critical about someone with whom he fully expects to be in heaven. I think that's a very good point for us all. Yes, wonderful perspective. A couple more, and then we must move to how we restore these things, how relationships, once offense happens, how we are to strive for reconciliation. But a couple more things. Failure to pursue biblical reconciliation, to let, again, offense happens in our relationships, one with another. Invariably, inevitably it happens. But when we don't reconcile biblically, when we don't follow the instruction of scripture in dealing with that sin, the offense festers, it grows, and it leads to even more offense. And then the root of all of these things is pride. Only by pride comes contention. And we do well to remember that. So offense. A brother offended. how we fail in our friendships, even in the body of Christ. How can we seek biblical reconciliation? How do we work by the grace of the Spirit, walking by the Spirit in gentleness and meekness and love with one another? How can we seek to have our friendships, that which is broken, then restored? A few things to think of together. I'll start with this one. We work to overcome bitterness. We work to overcome bitterness. That's really where a lot of the offense begins is when we let the little things go down deep and they fester and they produce more and more sin in our hearts. Going to Deuteronomy 29, 18, this idea of the root of bitterness. The Lord is instructing his people regarding the abominations and idolatry of the peoples around them. Verse 18 of Deuteronomy 29. So that there may not be among you man or woman or family or tribe whose heart turns away today from the Lord our God to go and serve the gods of these nations. And that there may not be among you a root of bearing bitterness or a wormwood. So the idea there is of a heart that's hardened that turns away from God, that engages in idolatry, that fails to love and serve and worship Jehovah, the one living and true God. But the root of bitterness doesn't merely stay in our hearts toward God. It's not only a Godward sin, it's also a manward sin. It's a horizontal sin against others. Hebrews chapter, I believe it's Hebrews 12, Where I'll go. I'll go next. Hebrews 12. Verse 15 actually back up to 14. Pursue peace with all people and holiness without which no one will see the Lord. Looking carefully, lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this many become defiled. So bitterness. A heart that is bitter toward God, not in love with God, walking in obedience before Him, easily becomes resentful and harsh, angry. and stubborn in relationships with others. So as we seek to reconcile, as we seek to strive to restore that which is broken in our friendships, we must be honest with ourselves and before God and with one another about the sin of bitterness, not letting it take root in our hearts and lives. And you know, there are steps here. I've already alluded to it, but there's that hurt. There's the little comment, I'm thinking of husbands and wives, the marriage relationship, the word that, where there's a little bit more of an edge than there needs to be. You raise your voice a bit, perhaps there's an interruption, perhaps there's, There's any number of ways to get sideways in this, and there's that little hurt, that slight, that offense. That's the time to deal with it, when it first happens. Love covers a multitude of sins. Let not the sun go down on your wrath, Ephesians 4, and don't give place to the devil. Don't give place to the devil. Be quick to reconcile. If we're not quick to reconcile, we give place to the devil and we allow that root of bitterness to creep up in our hearts. That hurt, if unaddressed, not dealt with, turns to bitterness. It festers. And often, those who are bitter against God and even against others, I think that they can keep it all inside, that no one's going to be able to see, no one's going to be able to understand what's actually going on in their hearts. But soon it moves to anger, it manifests itself, words are added, more fuel to the fire, it turns to stubbornness, and then to open rebellion. The answer here is to be quick to repent, quick to confess, quick to watch against this root of bitterness seeping up, growing up in our hearts. Admonition here, I think about the Lord's Supper every month as we come together to the table of the Lord. Can't strongly emphasize this enough, that our communion is with Christ, his body broken for our sins, his blood shed on our behalf, and our communion is with one another. And at the Lord's Supper, month by month, I almost said week by week, but month by month, our communion, even coming together at the Lord's Supper ought to be a time when we're examining our hearts, again, quote Westminster Larger Catechism, of our love to God and our love to the brethren. How am I doing in my relationships my spouse, with my children, if you're single, with your friends, with brothers and sisters in the body, with your elders, with those believers in whom you've been called to serve our Lord Jesus Christ. And also, I'll add to that, your charity to all, even those who are outside, that the name of Christ would not be dishonored, even in the community before the nations. Dealing with bitterness. Also, pursuing peace with all men. I've read again from Hebrews 12, 14. Pursue peace with all people and holiness without which no one will see the Lord. Pursuing peace. We give our Savior's words in the Sermon on the Mount. Blessed are the peacemakers. So some practical steps to take. A couple of different categories here. How do we deal with it when we've sinned? And then how do we deal with it when someone has sinned against us? And I'm moving past the category of those unintentional slight offenses or things that people say offhand, but that intentional, aggravated, continuing sin against us. So a couple of categories. First, when you've sinned, against a brother or sister. What do you do? Our Lord helps us, instructs us, teaches us in Matthew 5. His Sermon on the Mount, I'll go there. Matthew 5, 23, remembering of an offense against a brother. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, you've sinned against your brother, your sister in the Lord, leave your gift there before the altar and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge and the judge hand you over to the officer and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there until you have paid the last penny. What our Savior is instructing us in is to to reach out to our brother or sister immediately, to even The public worship of God is our highest calling, our chief delight. But even when we're gathering for worship and we remember a sin that we've committed against someone else, to go to them, to confess it, to make it right. Some practical things to remember here. Identify the sin. Call it what it is. We have a tendency to misname things, to not identify the sin for what it is, to call it by some other name, rather than as it is a violation of God's law. I lied or I stole, I lusted, I coveted, I sinned, I was angry and harsh in my words against you and broke God's law and sinned greatly against you. Identify the sin. As well, repent of it. And by repentance, I'm not merely saying go to the other person and seek to make it right. You should do that. But turn from it. Biblical repentance is incomplete without full purpose of and endeavor after new obedience. Our Savior has called us not merely with grief and hatred to turn from our sins and sorrow over our sins, but He's called us to follow after Him in new obedience, to a new way of living. We're hearing preaching from Galatians 5 on Sunday mornings. Live by the Spirit. Walk by the Spirit. Be led by the Spirit. A new way of life. The life of Christian repentance, of continually turning from sin to God. And yes, there are times, there are besetting sins that ensnare us, but the Christian is to be one who is constantly repenting, turning from sin, and endeavoring after By all the grace of the Spirit to turn from sin and press on the way to heaven, to life, to Christ. Full purpose of and endeavor after new obedience. Turn away from the sin. Forsake it. Confess it and forsake it. Go to the other person and ask for their sincere forgiveness. Apologize to them. Again, naming the sin what it is. a mention of what you should have done, and asking for their forgiveness. Jim. You have to identify the root cause of sin. Why did I do this? You don't want to solve just the exterior problem, but the problem that's most visible. You have to deal with your heart. Good. Good. Thank you for that. Desirous. Not merely the external word, but the external action. Is it anger? Is it bitterness against God? Is it pride? Of course it's pride. We get to the seed by the grace of God to get to the heart of the matter. Accept nothing but, you see here under pursuing peace with all men, when you've sinned against someone else, accept nothing but, yes, I forgive you, or no, I don't forgive you. And we should endeavor to work on this, both when we're asking for forgiveness and we're receiving that apology. Say explicitly, yes, I forgive, hopefully. Even when there's great sin involved, and I know that we live in a fallen, miserable world, there is great sin. But by the grace of Christ, we ought to be those increasingly who are able to say, yes, I forgive you. It's not appropriate to say, it's not a big deal. We ought to mortify that tendency to say, don't worry about it, it's not a big deal. Yes, I forgive you. Extending that forgiveness. Sin is always a big deal. Sin always violates God's law. Sin always offends his holiness and his majesty. Sin always, it's always an offense against the blood of the lamb shed for us. It's always creating disunity in the body. Accept nothing but yes, I forgive you, or in the event it happens, no way. I don't forgive you. Hopefully by by the grace of Christ, we're increasingly able to extend the forgiveness we have received and then continue. It doesn't even end there, does it? Doesn't even end there. When you've gone to someone else and and you've and you've repented or perhaps you've you've received that apology and and you've forgiven both parties. The one who's who sinned and the one who's received that apology both need to work to deal with their own hearts before the Lord. to not bring it up, to not harbor bitterness and resentment within. What about, and this goes to Matthew 18 and Rebecca's helpful comment earlier, what about when someone else has sinned against you? And again, we're talking about intentional, a continual pattern of sin against you and significant sin. Matthew 18 gives us the pattern, the instruction on how you and I are to deal with these things. Matthew 18, verse 15. Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. Sobering. Church discipline is not something that should ever be taken lightly. It is something, it's grievous when the church deals with an offender, and it is always for the glory of our Savior, and always for the reclaiming of the brother or sister who has gone astray. But we ought not to shy away from speaking of church discipline. And the God-given, the Christ-ordained way of dealing with offense and restoring, seeking to gain our brothers and sisters in offense against us. Again, we must identify the sin, the way in which we've been sinned against, the specific and particular violation of God's law. And I think to, Ryan has very helpful in recent weeks taught through the law of God from the larger catechism. We need to learn to use the biblical and the confessional categories that God has given us, that even the framers of the confession have given us, ways in helpfully summarizing the teaching of scripture. using biblical language to talk about sin and to identify it for what it is. So identify it and then one-to-one without gossiping, without spreading rumors, without sharing with others, go to the person. one-on-one and confront them graciously but firmly, telling them the way in which they have sinned against you, or at least what you've seen, what you've experienced, and certainly with prayer that God would grant forgiveness and restoration, reconciliation of the relationship. If there's not repentance, and there's not a restoration, you're next to bring in others, one or two with you, so that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word would be established. Who do you take with you? Everybody throw that out there. What are some people you should have in mind when you... T.J. Yeah, take a mature Christian with you, a pastor, an elder, someone whom you trust, someone who's able to hold these things in confidence, someone who's sober-minded, someone who is markedly Markedly desiring the glory of God and the glory of Christ and the restoration of the atonement. Not someone who's going to grovel in the atonement, so delight in it, but someone who is sober-minded, looking for the glory of God and the restoration of the sin. And then if there continues to be no repentance at that point, it's time to escalate the matter to the church. And by the church, I mean the elders who God has placed and ruled over you, over the church, for the glory of his own name and for the reclamation, for the restoration of the offender, and reconciliation of our relationships. And so the sobering process of church discipline is unfolding before its prime. I think with witnesses, elders can be witnesses, but they don't have to be. And I think one reason why I say that is notice in Matthew 18, the elders representing the church are at the end of the process, not the beginning of the process. And I think there's too often a tendency to say, you know, I couldn't work this out, so now let the elders deal with it. But math 318 is actually much broader, and it's more let you deal with it, and you go through the steps. And I think sometimes maybe we're too quick just to pull in the officers before we try to deal with things outside of that. Good. Thank you for that. There's been an offense, too, that others have seen. Someone who's been an eyewitness, perhaps. That particular offense, it involved, as well, someone who might qualify as a witness. Our prayer in the whole matter is never to make light of it, never to, and when Pastor Peter has announced church discipline matters in the past, this is relevant counsel for all of us. We do well to pray, never to assume the worst or to assume the least, but to pray fervently for the restoration of Then, one last thing, in all of this, as we seek restoration of our friendships. We ought to think much about the unity of Christ's church. I had the privilege of preaching a few weeks ago from Ephesians 4, that we are to endeavor to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. Why? Because there's one body and there's one spirit. There's one hope of our calling to which we press. One spirit has united us together. We belong to one bride of our Lord Jesus Christ. We have one Lord who rules over us for His glory and for our good. We have a common faith, one faith and one baptism. One baptism in which the name of the Triune God has been placed on us and one God and Father of all. We're part of the same family. God's name placed upon us. We have one Father to whom we come through our mediator Christ. This undergirds, this is the theological, the doctrinal basis of our unity, that this is what our Savior prayed for in John 17, that they may be one. So this isn't, again, I want to emphasize, this isn't just a list of principles, good ideas, moralism. These are the instructions that Christ has ordained for his glory in his one bride, the church, that he may present her to the Father without plemish or wrinkle or spot. This is the end game. This is the great goal of discipline. So we ought to think much about that unity, even as we come to worship as one body together, seeking to repent quickly, seeking to make the offense right, seeking to dwell in unity with our brothers and sisters because we worship the Triune God together. Our sacraments, the Lord's Supper and Baptism. Again, I've already referred to Lord's Supper, but we have the same name of God Triune placed upon us. We have the discipline of the church, in our laws and the order of the church, and then our communion with Christ and with one another. We've been called to the same Savior and the same body with brothers and sisters of like precious faith. Questions or additional comments? We have another minute or so as we wrap up. Hi. This one thing that comes to mind is there are times when we can't make things right, and we live in a fallen world. And there are times when we can't make things right, and there's no church discipline. And what do we do in such times? Just this morning, we were reading Psalm 39, and the psalmist He's angry at the injustice, and I think he can resonate with that in a lot of situations, even in the church sometimes. It's not, Lord, judge the wicked and break their teeth. But it's, Lord, help me know my end and the brevity of my life. And then the second thing is, make me know my iniquity for you have done this to me. And I think the issue is, we've become so preoccupied with other people and the injustice that we've suffered with this side of the Lord. And some things we just need to leave in the Lord's hands and humble ourselves and repent of our own sins, because that's all we can do. Thank you, Father. Can you close us in prayer? Sure. Father in heaven, we thank you for blessing us to come together on the Lord's Day. We thank you for blessing our fellowship this morning. We pray that you would prepare us now for public worship, that you would continue to be present in our midst and grant us the Holy Spirit to glorify your son. For Christ's sake we pray, amen. Amen.