If you'll turn your Bibles to 1st Peter chapter 3 It's very good to be back with you all this week. I'm thankful for your prayers Many of you let me know that you were praying for me, and I'm very thankful for that Read verses 1 Through 7 1st Peter chapter 3 verses 1 through 7 In the same way, you wives be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry or putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way, in former times, the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. You husbands, in the same way, Live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman, and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Now, there's a lot going on in the world, and there's a lot that's happened in this last week and in these last weeks and these last months, and to some degree in this last year, and it just seems like it keeps going on and on and on and on and on. And especially in the last week or so, some might say, well, I mean, Brennan, shouldn't you preach on something else? I mean, there ought to be a better way to encourage the local body of Christ than to say something else about family or wives submitting or husbands doing this or all these types of things. It could be. It's possible. I would like to make this observation, though, for a reason I think will be helpful. With everything going on around us, what is it that Christians are supposed to do during the midst of all times and all crisis? That's to strive to be Christians. The best thing the world could see from us right now is that we're seeking to be Christians. And one of the places that we seek to be Christian specifically is in our homes. The world needs to see that Christian homes are different. Sadly, statistics show that out of all the different denominations and types of churches that are out there that most families in what are called Christian evangelical churches don't look much different than the world. And probably what we need during these kinds of times is for people to see there is hope and one of the ways they will see there is hope is that Christians will act like Christians and one of the places they act like Christians is in the home. We have friends and co-workers outside of local churches, maybe even people who are unbelieving, and they have all kind of family issues and marital issues, and one of the places we can help them is to show that Christ does affect our homes and our families. Christ does affect our marriages. That would be a great sense of hope, especially since a lot of people are having to spend a lot more time with their family than they maybe have in the past. We're seeing a lot more of our family. Maybe we don't go as much as we used to. Maybe we're not here and there and doing this or that as much as we used to, and we're spending more time together. So we probably need to be encouraged about how to live in Christ in our homes. and it would be an encouragement even to the world. Does it mean our homes will be perfect? Nope. But it does mean that whatever role we have as a husband or a wife, we're striving to be that husband or that wife in Christ. Is everyone in this church who's married, do they have a perfect marriage or perfect home life? No. No, they don't. Their pastor doesn't even have a perfect home life. It's not, of course, because of me. It's my wife. No. We're in this together, right? She made a choice. I made a choice. We're both sinners saved by God's grace. We both have our struggles in remaining flesh. Every marriage has its trials. But the scripture speaks to those things and it's something that we need to have in our homes and it's an outworking of our home out into the world. So I would make the case to you this morning that although Many people will be talking about many different things, whether it's the political landscape, or it's what's coming down the pike next in science, or what is the next issue of this virus or that virus, or what China's going to do, or maybe there's some troll who's underground who's about to do something we could never know of, or whatever it may be. I would say to you, we just need to stick to the scripture. and our homes need to stick to the scripture. So let's stay in the word and the word of the Lord will stay with us. Joshua 1. In that sense we stay with what Peter is saying to us and we've come to verse 7 here in chapter 3 of his letter, his first letter and he says you husbands in the same way. Now that's a similar phrase to what he used in verse 1 and it's also a similar phrase that he's used in other places. And first of all, we note that now he's transitioning. He's been focusing really on wives. And now he picks up here husbands. And he uses that phrase in the same way in the context, first of all, of note, I have something to say to you. I've said something to those who are in charge. I've said something about government. I've said something about wives. Now I'm going to say something to you, husbands. And furthermore, there's an indication that he's given husbands the idea and the understanding that they have an authority over them. Just as humans are under the authority of governments, servants may be under the authority of lords, and wives are to submit to their husbands. Husbands are under the authority of God and His Word. His Word commands husbands to live in an understanding way with their wives. This authority now is placing husbands in a place to recognize that there are, not only is there an authority over them, but there is a commandment given to them. And it says that husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way. The word understanding is derived from a word that simply means to have knowledge. This word in its context indicates that husbands are to be prudent and understanding that God has commanded particular roles in marriage for not only wives, but for them as well. He is created with a particular order and purpose in mind for men and women that their roles would be complementary to each other in the Lord. And he expects Christian husbands to be husbands in the Lord and not according to the flesh or the world. Even in just one verse gives a pretty tall order, especially when you connect it to Ephesians 5 and what Paul said and it was read to you earlier, you husbands. You young men who desire to be married. You young men who may not desire it now, but one day you will be married. The scripture speaks to who you are, and what you should strive in, in being a husband. And the flesh is not to drive you as a husband. The world is not to drive you as a husband. But what is to drive husbands who are believers is knowledge. Knowledge of God, who He is. Knowledge of Christ, who He is and what He has done. And knowledge, not only of salvation, but knowledge of living with our wives in an understanding way. Now it brings us to a question. How are husbands to think and act according to God's command given through Peter? There's kind of an overarching theme here. Husbands are to live prudently with their wives. Now I'm going to unfold that some, but husbands are to live prudently with their wives. How does Peter specifically address this idea and command in his letter? If there is a command, and we're supposed to think and act in the context of that command, and that command tells us to live in prudence with our wives, how does Peter address that specifically? What is that prudence? How do we work it out? Well, firstly, husbands are to live in knowledge of their wives' general position. Husbands are to live in knowledge of their wives general position. I want to kind of work in this text a little bit and some of these phrases for you to see the idea of fleshing out live with your wives in an understanding way. First of all, you need to note something. There's a general position of wives here. The scripture says and Peter says as with someone weaker. That's a tough phrase, really. It is. Because generally speaking, we can say men are physically stronger than women, generally. That's a general statement. There's a physical identification there to some degree. Now, I say generally, why? Because if you watch the Olympics, you know that there's women who squat 8,042 pounds or something or whatever it is. And they could whip me any day of the week. And that's why I wouldn't get within arm's length of them. I don't want to be squished and killed by a woman. I'd rather not have that happen, right? Who wants to fight with anybody, really? But the fact of the matter is, generally speaking, men are physically stronger than women. There's a physical aspect to it. And actually, that physical aspect is biblical in context, and it really goes along with even the emotional state of most women. And when I use the term emotional state, I'm not meaning that women are emotionally freaked out all the time. I'm talking about the very part of our being that where our emotions live and dwell. We are emotional beings. Some men tear up and cry, even some, the more women. We're emotional beings. But there is an emotional place for a woman that most women appreciate knowing they have an element of trust with their husband's willingness to protect them. Over the years of talking to husbands and wives, premarital counseling, postmarital counseling, in the middle of marital counseling, all those kinds of things and conversations in general with people, Most women are thankful that there's a desire, for most husbands, they have a desire to protect their wives and their families. Now we live in a culture that for some reason has decided that that's a terrible thing. And that if any man should open a door for a woman or protect a woman, that that somehow is against womanhood. And that's ridiculous. It's just ridiculous. Because the scripture tells us quite plainly there's a connection between a man and a woman. And one of those things is, generally speaking, men are physically stronger than women. And most women are thankful. Thankful for that. Secondly, generally speaking, women are no less intelligent than men. Generally speaking, women are no less intelligent than men. We've all met some men that were not very intelligent. We've all met some women that were not very intelligent. Generally speaking, though, women are no less intelligent than men. Women have an intelligence and an apt and ability to work through things, honestly, sometimes that are far more complex than what we want to admit to. If you've ever seen a mother nurture and deal with a small child, You do understand the complexities of working with small children, right? And it's amazing how most women have this ability in their very intellect to work through how to deal with a small child on a regular basis. Not just one time, but on a regular basis. Have you watched teachers in classrooms mothers and homes, the intellect it takes to work with these children. It's not even an issue of intelligence, but it's the context of the created order. There is some general idea and principle here that the scripture tells us this is a weaker vessel. And it says specifically Someone weaker since she is a woman. Well, Peter here is going back to Genesis and he's looking at the created order. Ladies, I'm here to tell you, you should not fear being a woman. And don't let the world tell you that you have to be something other than a woman. God created you women for particular reasons and he has granted you great abilities as a woman and a lot of those abilities men don't have. They just don't. Now I won't go into all of that because the text is not speaking about all of that. But I will give you an instance and an idea here about the nurturing nature of a woman that God gives. We have to recognize there's more to the marital relationship than just a physical act, and a woman's purpose is not just a physical act, for God made them as companions to men and as helpmates. And one of the ways that a woman is a companion and is a helpmate is that she as a vessel, even a weaker vessel, is capable of nurturing a home. every American man who grew up watching John Wayne and his Westerns would just like to be John Wayne. Now, most men may not admit that, okay? But there's an element. If you grew up watching John Wayne, you just wanted to be John Wayne. But John Wayne is not necessarily the Christian man. And he's not the Christian man, not because I'm saying anything about John Wayne and his relationship to Christ. I don't pretend to know anything about that. What I'm saying is that it's not always realistic what books and movies put before us as to what a man is and what a woman is. Men need nurturing too. Why? Because we have our weaknesses. Over the years, I've been amazed at the number of women who were so nurturing and encouraging to husbands, and probably, quite frankly, had it not been for that nurturing and encouraging nature of their wife, the husband would have been way, way far worse off than they were. It takes a lot of strength, inner strength, to nurture another person, whether it's a husband, or whether it's children, or whether it's a friend, but it takes a lot of inner strength to nurture people. And as the weaker vessel, God gave women the ability to do something like that. There are other things. I'm dealing with one here just to give you an example. There is a strength. But the weakness is not saying that a woman has no strength. The weakness is in designed order. God designed that you women would be built and you would work and act and think the way you do. He did that for his purpose. You may not always be as physically strong, but that does not mean there is not a strength to your being. God gives you who you are as a woman in purpose and order. See, the world today wants to turn this topsy-turvy and says, when the scripture says you're a weaker vessel, that's terrible, that's awful. We need to shun that and rip it up and tear it up. You know what that's saying? That's saying that God had no idea what he was doing. God from the very created order says that the woman is to be this weaker vessel, this companion, this nurturer. God gave you that place and that role. So to look at it any differently is then to look at God and say, God, you're an idiot. And this is what the feminist movement has done. It has looked at God and said, God, you're an idiot. I don't need you. I don't want your help. Oh, and by the way, I'll only ask for your help when I want it. Because I know a lot of feminists that pray. I don't know what they're praying about or who they're praying to. Because if you're a true feminist, you don't need any help. You don't need a man's help and you certainly don't need God's. Because if you needed God's help, then you would submit to the created order. Don't let the world tell you that God made a mistake and that you need to be something other than a woman. And husbands, you need to remember this. If you're trying to make your wives something else, then you've got a problem. Don't try to make your wives men. And don't treat them like you want them to be men. You don't want your boys to grow up to be girls, do you? Well, don't try to turn your wife into a man. Don't try to turn your daughters into a man. We need the actuality of the weaker vessel in our lives. Whatever that weaker vessel is in all of its content and all of its context, we need that. God designed it for us. Husbands your wife as a woman as she was created to be a woman is good for you And you need her to be a woman It's kind of difficult sometimes because quite frankly The scriptures trying to give you an identification here so that you understand since she is a woman You know what it's notating There are two genders. One of them he's speaking of specifically here is a woman, and that woman is different in gender and in makeup, and you don't need to make her into anything else. You need to be thankful for who she is. And furthermore, he goes on to say something about that. What is it? If you're going to be thankful for who she is and not try to make her into something else, what do you want to do? Show her honor as a fellow heir of grace or a fellow heir of life. Husbands are to live in knowledge of their wives' general position. Husbands are to live in knowledge of God's specific commands regarding wives. Don't try to change her. Understand that God made her the way she is. Does she need to grow in Christ that her womanhood would be Christ-like? Yes. But don't try to make her something other than being a woman. You young ladies, don't let the world do that to you. Don't let the world tear you apart and try to tell you you're something substandard if you're really truly a woman and especially one trying to be a godly woman. You're not more womanly if you can turn men into shambles. You're not more womanly if you can control men. You know, that's what the world's teaching women today. Scripture's making this note here to say, you know what husbands, don't make them anything but what they are and honor them as fellow heirs of life. Now first of all, there's the idea of the word honor. The word honor gives the indication of holding something up. Holding it up. When you prize something, what do you do with it? You hold it up and you show people, right? When most of us were younger and we were in school, what was the one thing at school you liked to do probably on Fridays was show and tell day, right? Some of you don't remember that or know about it, but when I was growing up in school, you had show and tell day on Friday afternoon. You could bring one thing to school. Of course, you had to keep it up under your desk and not play with it. But at the right time, we got to go up in front of the class and show the class whatever that thing was. We wanted to hold it up and show it to them. The word honor here has that idea, to honor it, to hold it up, but specifically to hold it up in strength, in the strength of Christ. Why are we so encouraged and why do we have pride that this is our wife? Why are we honoring her? Because she's Christ's. But to hold her up in strength and the strength of Christ is also to hold her up in encouragement. This really has a lot of implications. It could just be worked out in so many different ways. But you know, a lot of things we've been talking about over months and months is how Christians ought to work with each other, how they ought to love one another, even in difficult circumstances where everybody doesn't always agree on this issue and that issue. And we've been trying over and over and over again to remind ourselves We need to love one another. We need to encourage one another. We need to strengthen one another, even when we don't always agree. And sometimes we need to keep our mouths closed and don't say this or don't say that. And sometimes we need to be more thoughtful of our brother or sister than we are ourselves. This is the same thing here in our marriages. To honor your wife as a fellow heir is to encourage her as a fellow heir. Husbands, do you love your wives, as Paul says, that you would your own body, that you would nourish your own body? I tell you right now, I'm not going to miss many meals. I'm going to nourish this body. Maybe overnourish it. Maybe I ought to overnourish my wife and encourage her and eat a little less. I'm not talking about eating habits here, I'm giving you the idea of the encouragement. Maybe I need to encourage my wife, honor her as a fellow heir of grace. You know why you would honor her as a fellow heir of grace? Because Peter's telling you and other scriptures telling you she's co-equal in Christ. She might be the weaker vessel in created order, but in Christ She's your co-equal. God didn't expend less grace to save her because she's the weaker vessel. Or God saves her but only in a secondary way as opposed to saving males in a primary way. No. No. Husbands, your wives are your co-equals, your fellow heirs in Christ. And they're to be honored as such. They're to be honored as such. The act of honoring takes thought and actions away from ourselves and places it on someone else. Now think about it. When I would take that little thing to show and tell, you know, I had this big Tonka truck I took one time. I was so excited about it. This big yellow Tonka truck. And I took this and took both hands to hold it up. I was so proud of that thing. But as I was so proud of it, I really wasn't thinking about myself. I was thinking about this truck. I love this truck. It's so great. I'm so glad I have this truck. But you know what other people started to do? They liked my truck. But they also thought that was a reflection of me. We hold our wives up and we honor them. It becomes a reflection of who we are as husbands. Because this honoring is to take away from myself. The problem of sin is we're very self-centered and self-focused. The problem as husbands is we're still battling remaining flesh. And most of the time, the issue for us is we're still battling self-centeredness. Even as a husband, we're thinking of ourselves first. I want my wife to do this because it pleases me. Well, if she's a fellow heir in Christ and I'm to honor her, that means I should lift her up in a way that I'm not being self-centered. And just as Christ will desire to present his bride as blameless one day, and it's a reflection on Christ, the way we would honor our wives appropriately would be a reflection of our Christ-likeness. I'm always focused on myself, I'm forgetting what the Lord Jesus says, love your neighbor as yourself. Your closest neighbor, if you're married, is your spouse. So this act of honoring her as a fellow heir of grace places the focus on Christ and not yourself. It's not just that you're being You know, one who's trying to say, oh no, no, no, not me, not me, because the Pharisees did that. It's one that's saying I'm going to honor my wife because the focus is on Christ. I'm doing this to strive in Christ and to please Christ because she's a fellow heir. Paul expressed this same thought in almost, it's a different way, but it's almost the same exact thought as he says, husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. Christ was willing to go so far to love the bride that was given to him that he gave himself up for her. He put her above himself. He was willing to go to the cross and die for her. There ought to be a striving in a Christian marriage to where a husband would honor his wife or would seek to honor his wife in this way. We won't be perfect at it. And ladies, please give us some grace because we're going to be far from it. But it doesn't mean as husbands we shouldn't strive. We should be striving. Notice the idea here of showing her honor. Maybe she is the weaker vessel, but you honor her in a way not to always make her feel like she's being dominated. You're showing her that honor. You're lifting her up. You're letting her know. Maybe you're encouraging her about the things she does in the home. You're encouraging her about how she handles this or handles that. I've never heard a wife say to me, I never want my husband to encourage me. I want him to keep his mouth shut, never talk to me ever. I want him to sit in his chair, never look at me, never do anything at all in kind word or deed. I want him just to sit there and take it all in and I'll just do it all for him, but never, never do I want any encouragement. Never heard a wife say that. It's an activity, men. It's an action. It's a work to show her honor. To show it. To show it to others, yes, but to show it to her first and foremost. Maybe others don't see it. But you show it to her. And if you show it to her, even though others may not see it eventually, they'll recognize that there's something different in that marriage. because of the way your wife acts and thinks, and how she thinks about marriage, and how she thinks about you, and most of all, how she thinks about Christ. You're gonna help her in her sanctification by honoring her as a fellow heir. That's what Peter and Paul are saying together. Well, thirdly this morning, husbands are to live in knowledge of a particular hindrance caused by disobedience to this command. Husbands are to live in knowledge of a particular hindrance caused by disobedience to this command. Husbands, if we do not honor our wives as fellow heirs, even though they may be the weaker vessel, If we do not honor them as fellow heirs, scripture says our prayers will be hindered. In other words, the hindrance of your prayers is imminent when you are dishonoring to your wife. The hindrance of your prayers is imminent when you are dishonoring to your wife. The question is why? That really hits my mind every time I read this and I think about it. Why? Well, I think one of the reasons why, it may not be the only one, but one of the reasons why is we have to recognize this is the idea of a kingdom being against itself. The triune God cannot be against himself. Christ cannot go against his own kingdom. If you remember Luke 11, Christ talking about the strong man, they were claiming that what he was casting out demons by Belzebul. And Jesus said, no, a kingdom can't be divided against itself. So Christ can't be against his own kingdom. Well, so a husband that consistently dishonors his believing wife, or really his wife in general, is ultimately a husband going against the kingdom of Christ. A person consistently going against the kingdom of heaven certainly will have hindered prayers. The hindrance will be that, not that God can't hear them, the hindrance will be that ultimately you won't be thinking rightly to pray rightly. Because see, the husband who's consistent at dishonoring his wife is the self-centered husband, and the self-centered person is not going to pray rightly according to the scripture. The self-centered person approaches God as a cosmic Santa Claus. The self-centered person approaches God in prayer as, what can you do for me now? So a husband who is consistent in dishonoring their wife their prayers will be hindered because they are unable to think rightly in prayer. The plainness, though, is that we recognize, husbands, that there is a very serious effect on our Christian lives if we do not recognize the command of the scripture here. And the plainness is, is that those who go against this command in their homes and toward their wives, their prayers will be hindered. Predominantly, they'll be hindered because it will say more about our own souls than it does about God. God can hear. even though he doesn't have ears, he knows all. But we will not be able and probably not willing to pray scriptural prayers. We'll be more worried about praying in a way that befits our own self-centeredness. Well, I want to leave you with three observations this morning. Number one, Constant consternation in the home is like a kingdom divided, it soon will fall. Constant consternation in the home is like a kingdom divided, it soon will fall. The consistent unsubmissiveness of a wife And the consistent dishonoring of a husband is a kingdom against itself. And Peter is warning, neither is good. And both of them together are detrimental. Secondly, continuous determination scripturally in a marriage anchors our homes in Christ and not our self-centeredness. Continuous determination scripturally in a marriage anchors our homes in Christ and not our self-centeredness. A wife who can only think about herself will say, I'm not submitting. I'll do what I want to do. I don't care what the Bible says. The Bible on this issue is an affront to me personally and so therefore I just won't do it. That's self-centeredness. If you anchor yourself in that, that's detrimental. A husband who won't honor his wife anchors himself in self-centeredness. But if a husband and wife will anchor themselves scripturally in these things, they have a continuous determination and striving toward being scriptural in their marriage, they will anchor their home in Christ and not in self-centeredness. No home can stay together where there is a person who. One does one thing. According to scripture and the other. Doesn't. But it takes a lot of grace. But it's a surefire way for a thing to fall apart. If neither one of those parties is willing to strive in Christ. I've seen many marriages stay together over the years where one person was striving in Christ more than another by God's grace. They had a lot of difficulties, had lots of trial and tribulation, but they were able to stay together. But if both are self-centered, the kingdom will fall. So I encourage us Wives, submit in the Lord. Because this is what God has commanded you to do. Husbands, honor your wives as fellow heirs in life. For this is what the scriptures commanded you to do. Strike out against self-centeredness in your marriage. There's self-centeredness everywhere in every part of our lives. We're just talking about one specific place. In our marriages, we've got to strike out against it, strive against it. Or maybe a morning you wake up and you just don't feel like you're that into it this morning. I don't think I love that fella. I don't think I love that woman as much as I did a few months ago. Too bad. Strive against it. That's self-centeredness. You love her. You love him. The scripture tells us that we need to have grace toward each other. And that goes for our marriages. Thirdly and lastly, consistent recognition and confession of your sin before Christ will supply bricks for the mortar of grace to build upon. consistent recognition and confession of your sin before Christ will supply bricks for the mortar of grace to build upon. Grace is the mortar that holds all of this together. But in our sanctification as believers, there's a striving that has to go on in Christ. And the first part of that striving is a recognition that we are sinners and a confession of our sin. And we go to Christ recognizing our own sin, and particularly in this context, in our marriages, and we're confessing that sin, those are the building bricks of grace, or that grace is that mortar that builds around. We have to be people who are going before Christ and asking forgiveness of our sin. Two self-centered people will always be thinking about themselves. And that means they will always be going against each other. It doesn't matter whether it's marriage or any other issue. If two parties come together and they both come together with some humility, recognizing that neither one of them is perfect, there's a lot better probability they're going to be able to work through some things. And in a Christian marriage, that's built upon understanding the doctrine of forgiveness. Not only do we recognize our own sin and ask Christ to forgive us of our sin, but we go to our spouse when we've sinned against them and ask them to forgive us. And believing spouses should be willing to forgive. I'm not going to get into the depth of what sin equals this forgiveness or that forgiveness, but there's a blanket understanding here that marriages are a place that there needs to be a lot of grace with each other. And that goes throughout everything. We could start talking about grace in the church. We could talk about grace here, grace there, right? Peter is saying, right here in our homes, this is a building block we need. We need the grace of Christ and the confession of our own sins so that we will recognize it for what it is and we'll forgive our spouse. We'll forgive our co-worker, our friend, our child, our parents, whatever it may be. But first and foremost, it has to happen in our homes. Can you forgive your spouse when they sin against you? Spouse, can you set your pride aside and ask forgiveness from Christ of your sin and then go to your spouse and admit you've sinned against your spouse and ask their forgiveness? And not just once, but keeping short accounts with your Savior will help you keep short accounts with your spouse. Don't let sin build up over months and years and years because one day it'll be the fire that you can't put out and it'll burn the whole thing down. Grace is necessary for all of life, including our marriages. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we have merely scratched the surface on many of these things this morning. There are places the preacher has fallen short. Be forgiving of those matters. And as only you can, use that which has been spoken by truth of your word, that the spirit may accompany it from your word. to work in the souls of the hearers of the word preached. Lord, give us grace to grow in these things according to the truth of your word. It's in the name of Christ we pray, amen.