Our text this morning is going to be Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 to 24. Beloved congregation of the Lord Jesus Christ, this morning we look back again at Ephesians 5 and its treatment of marriage and family. Today our focus is upon the calling of the Christian wife as we find in our text. Marriage is the most beautiful of all earthly relationships. And there's a reason why Ephesians 5 says that it is to reflect the marriage and this glorious relationship between Jesus Christ and His bride, the church. It was Martin Luther who said, quote, Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. When a married couple together are trusting in the Lord, are walking in the ways of the Lord, then marriage is beautiful. Marriage is fulfilling. Marriage pleases God. But when a marriage is given over to selfishness, to sin, or to abuse, marriage becomes real ugly, really quickly. The protection of Christian marriage. As much as we are able to prepare, as much as we are able to guard, I mean, think about premarital counseling for a moment. The reason why pastors have premarital counseling is to try to give couples the tools to live in their marriage, that when things arise, they will know how to deal with them in a biblical way. So the protection of marriage for us this morning is to have a Christ-centered, a biblical view of this glorious relationship. This will give the husband the authority to lead without becoming a tyrant, and it will give the wife the grace and submission and joy, not in inferiority and not giving into dominance. If I can tie this into the baptism we witnessed this morning, this isn't a baptism sermon, but frankly all sermons are baptism sermons. is that Tom and Lauren are to train your children, train your daughter now, as soon as she's able to understand what this means. As a father, Tom, by showing these children that he loves their mother, that women are dignified, that they are essential in the life of the church, in the life of the home, that they become central, And for both of you, all of us as sinners who fall short of this calling, point your children to the Lord Jesus Christ. We may tell our children, this is what is expected of us, this is what we ought to do. But the time will come, and knowing children comes quickly, when you realize you didn't do what you were supposed to do. Now what? How do we deal with this? You point your children to the Lord Jesus Christ. in marriage, in family, in covenant nurture. We point our children to Christ and we also place them in his care, we place them in his keeping. Our theme this morning, as we look at Ephesians 5, is the Christian wife is called to serve God in marriage. The Christian wife is called to serve God in marriage. First we'll see biblical submission and second, biblical calling. So first, biblical submission. Our text begins in verse 22, Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Last week we began to look at this idea of submission. And in verse 21, we saw that husband and wife are called to submit to each other in some way. They are to submit to each other in the will of God, following the will of God. Now as the focus centers on the home, the relationship, the roles, the activity of husband and wife become clearer and clearer. Next week, Lord willing, we'll look at the duties of the Christian husband. The calling of the Christian wife, in verse 22, simply is to submit. This notion of submission, a sermon like this, is so completely out of fashion today. In fact, they even debated about preaching a sermon when there'd be visitors here, when there'd be family here, on biblical submission. And yet, those who hold to the Word of God recognize the fact that there's an economy in the home. That when these things are understood biblically, this becomes beautiful, glorious. In our society, in our world, today is a day of permissiveness. Liberation rules the day. And so the three groups being addressed, wives and husbands, children and parents, slaves and master, once we get to chapter 6, the goal there is liberate them all. The idea of a woman staying at home to raise her children is ridiculed today. Really? Going to stay home and not work? What is this, 1950? Who are you? Come on. We've moved beyond that stuff. So the world says, a woman having respect for her husband, a woman being patient with a sinful husband, are all completely counter-cultural. In the Bible, these things are exalted. In our modern society, they are viewed as weaknesses. How should Christians respond to what we see going on in the world around us in terms of what it is to be a woman and womanhood? Well, as Christians we should be honest. Honest enough to admit that we're sinners. That there may in the past been times where things were done improperly. We have to do that once in a while. Certainly we had to do that in terms of slavery in years past. We recognize the fact that this is not pleasing to God. But what we must realize is that nothing in Ephesians 5 is contrary to true freedom. In fact, we will see in marriage true freedom will be found in service for both husband and for wife. And the reason why this is is because it comes from God and it's centered on Christ. This is written 2,000 years ago. in a day and age where women were treated, and children were treated, oftentimes very poorly. To treat them with courtesy and honor in that day was not always common. But it's Jesus Christ we look to. It's Jesus Christ who said, let the little children come to me. Even the disciples said, get out of here. Get these kids out of here. We've got teachers doing important things. Jesus said, let the little children come to me. That was a day where kids were sold oftentimes for slavery, for prostitution. They were merely orphaned off, just an extra mouth to feed. We must see this teaching in Ephesians in its context, where through Christ there is a single humanity which God is creating in Christ. Scripture repeatedly affirms the dignity of womanhood, equality of human beings before God, and the unity of all believers as members of God's family, the one body of Jesus Christ. So man and woman, husband and wife, are equal before God. There's not a hierarchy of grace before God. So if there's an equality, why does the Bible give the wife the calling of submission and the husband the calling of authority over her? And here's where a very important biblical distinction must be made. This distinction is between the person and the office, or the person and the role. Martin Luther put it this way, quote, I have often said that we must sharply distinguish between these two, the office and the person. The man who is called Hans or Martin is a man quite different from the one who is called Elector or Doctor or Preacher. Here we have two different persons in one man. The distinction between person and office. The person you are is how you were born. Your name is John or whatever your name is. What you become as you grow and according to God's calling, becomes your office. Identical twins. Could be very much the same in every way. They look the same, they have similar personalities, they dress the same, but when they grow up, one might start a company and hire his brother to work for him. Now, these twins, though equal and though seemingly the same, have a different office. One is an employer, the other one is an employee. And this gives us something of a biblical rationale between submission and authority. Biblical submission does not mean inferiority, just like authority does not mean tyranny. So if submission is a humble recognition of God's ordering of society, and a willing placing oneself under another, the question comes up, where does this come from? Where does this role come from? Where does this distinction come from? And the answer is twofold. The answers are creation and redemption. It's important to see this because it's going to impact what we see next week of the calling of the Christian husband. This answer, creation and redemption, is somewhat assumed in our text. So we're going to leave our text for a moment and see Scripture's teaching. If your Bible is open, turn over to 1 Corinthians chapter 11. In this passage, dealing with a cultural problem, in Corinth we see a principle of divine ordering of creation. 1 Corinthians 11, look at verse 3, page 1783. Verse 3 says, Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Now skip down to verse 7. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." Now the reason it is clear that there's an abiding principle of gender distinction and headship here is that the order of creation is cited. Because man was created first and then a woman. This is the same thing that's going to be said in 2 Timothy chapter 2. We'll turn there a moment as well. Creation is cited to explain a biblical truth and a biblical principle. It's page 1846. It's 1847. 1 Timothy chapter 2, look at verse 11. A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man. She must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. Once again, it's this order of creation that places woman in a position of submission. This is not chauvinism. This is creationism. The new creation in Christ protects us. The new creation in Christ frees us from a distortion, from an abuse of these roles. The new creation in Christ frees a woman from being walked all over by her husband. It frees her and it frees the man from a domineering authority, which is concerned merely about itself, where the wife becomes just a doormat for the husband to walk on. God forbids this, because God created man and woman in His own image, in His own likeness, with dignity. The second reason for submission is redemption, or to put it in other words, because of Christ's headship. That's what we see in our second point, the wife's calling. If we look back to our text, Ephesians 5, verse 23 and 24, we see there this principle playing out. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now that phrase there, of which he is the Savior, that says more about a man than about the woman. Verse 24, now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. The relationship between Jesus Christ and His church becomes the second ground or reason for submission. Since Christ offered Himself, He bought the church with His own blood. The church now becomes identified with Jesus Christ. And so when there is a couple that is unbelievers, that do not know the Lord Jesus Christ, They don't understand this principle laid out in Ephesians 5. Marriage for them becomes a struggle. It becomes a tug of war, a battle of the wills. And when our marriages become a battle of the wills, we have forgotten Ephesians chapter 5. It's not the only solution, but it is a necessary beginning of a solution for a godly marriage that husband and wife submit themselves to Jesus Christ. If you're in the midst of a marriage and only one of you is believing and you're wondering why it's not going well, it's a very simple answer. You must submit yourself to Jesus Christ. If I'm counseling a young couple to be married, that's a pinnacle thing. I could teach them how to communicate, how to use nice words. I could teach them the languages of love. I could teach them... Submit yourself to Jesus Christ. It begins there. There's not a Christian marriage if there's not submission first to Jesus Christ. Why? Why should you submit yourself to Jesus Christ? Think about what Jesus Christ has done. He's forgiven us all of our sins with his precious blood. Are you a sinner? You know, just ask your spouse. Of course you are. Of course you are. You submit yourself to the Savior, who is the Savior of His body, which is the church, verse 23. The church becomes identified with Jesus Christ. This baby's been identified with Jesus Christ. Baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This child now has a stamp placed upon her, and the stamp is Christian. It's an identity. The church becomes identified with Jesus Christ. So too in marriage. Maybe parallel to this identity with Christ is a wife taking her husband's name. The trend was nearly done away with the feminist movement. Nevertheless, the husband and wife become bound to each other. Just as the church becomes bound to Jesus Christ. And that's a joyful thing. That's a wonderful thing. For the wife, her office as wife is one of submission, of service, of love, of respect. This is not an unlimited obedience. Our text says in verse 22, as to the Lord, that has two implications. And the first implication is that if a wife seeks to honor If a wife seeks to submit to God, she must honor and submit to her husband. And also, that there is a limit. As soon as a husband's expectations, as soon as a husband's requests cross that biblical line, a wife is obligated, it's not optional, she's obligated to obey God rather than man. And if that happens, that's always a difficult situation. If that happens, she probably needs help, advice, support from another woman, from her mother, from her pastor, her elders, from a counselor. As we'll see next week, the husband's authority definitely has limits. Christ is the head of the church. Think this through for a moment, because it's hard to talk about the wife's calling without the husband's. They go very intimately together. and as the church submits to Christ. Christ is the head of the church, but his headship is one of care, not control. It emphasizes responsibility rather than rule. A wife's submission then becomes a grateful acceptance of his care. John Stott says, quote, whenever the husband's headship mirrors the headship of Christ, then the wife's submission to the protection and provision of his love, far from detracting from her womanhood, will positively enrich it. Proverbs 12 verse 4 says, a wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. So what does that look like? What does a wife of noble character look like? What is she called to? To summarize the teaching of scripture in our text, let me mention six things. You can't fit this all in one sermon, so we'll roll through pretty quickly. The first is that a wife's priority is in the home. As a helpmeet, she is to be a homemaker. God made Eve because Adam needed help. He was lacking something, and what he was lacking is met by the wife. If your Bible is open, turn over to Titus chapter 2. Titus chapter 2. Look at verse 3. Here's an argument for intergenerational Bible studies, verse 3. Likewise, this is referring to the older women. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way that they live, not to be slanders or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign. The Word of God. The woman's highest and first priority is in the home. Now this does not mean that a woman cannot work outside of the home. In fact, if you look at Proverbs 31, the Proverbs 31 wife bought and sold land. She seems to be operating some type of business out of her home. So no way does the Bible forbid a woman from working outside of the home. It only means that her priority is in the home. But once again, this is part of her submission to her husband. She is to obey him in all things lawful, and this includes as well, calling in the home. She is to keep a well-ordered and godly home for her children and husband. A wife is to be productive in the home. With that said, submission and authority do not establish stereotypes. We talk about this as well in premarital counseling. All right, whose job is it to do the dishes? Well, certainly it's the man's job to take out the garbage. As some families might say, that's outside work. And it's certainly the woman's job to vacuum and iron. No, it's not. These are stereotypical roles, but these are very cultural roles. And so living in our culture, we may say, yes, this is how we are going to run our home. But when you're in an African culture, outside work really isn't a term, because it's all outside work. Who's going to go get the water? And so you see even in Christian communities in Africa, Christian women with big jugs of water on their head as they walk back home. It's a stereotypical role. The key here is that husband and wife together, as a Christian family, talk about these things. The authority of the husband doesn't mean, alright wife, here's the list. This is what you're going to do and this is what I'm going to do while I watch football. That's not Christian submission and authority in the home. It's living together when two become one. That's not just a physical thing. That's their whole entire life together now as husband and as wife. So what this means is that you husbands can change diapers sometimes, you can do dishes sometimes, you can be active as well in the home. Second, a wife is called to be the bearer of children, should the Lord bless her with such. I think I put in the sermon outline, to be a mother sometimes, that's what I'm referring to, the sometimes. Sometimes the Lord does not give a couple, a married couple, children. But when they do, When the Lord does, her attention is given to the children, and the raising, and the nurturing, etc. If a wife would say, for instance, I don't want to have children. I frankly don't really like children. Look at that family. Those kids are annoying. I'm going to lose my body. My image is going to be gone. You know how many vacations we're going to go on if we have kids? None. These are selfish reasons. Sinful reasons, actually. because they deny the wife's calling given to her in Genesis chapter 3. It's like a husband who says, I'm not going to work. I don't want to work. Work's overrated. I'd rather just sit around. Disobedience. It is the joy, and to the joy of her husband and the family, and ultimately society, but we'll deal with the family first. If God blesses a family with many covenant children, those are blessings from the Lord. Proverbs 31, 28, referring to this virtuous wife. Her children shall arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. He praises her. That's not empty talk. That's meaningful. Thank you, dear. Thank you, wife, for what you do. You have helped me and proudly bore the majority of the brunt of raising these children, because you were busy in the home. He praises her. Her children arise and call her blessed. That's a blessed woman. Thirdly, in submission to her husband and therefore to God, a wife is to be given over to works of godliness. The husband should encourage these works of godliness. Just as Paul described the widows who were to be honored in 1 Timothy 5, 9-10. She should be a woman of charity. A godly wife should view the blessings that God has given her as tools to help others. Your home becomes a tool to help others. Your money becomes a tool to help others. Your giftedness, your college education, your ability to lead and teach. Use them. Outside of your home as well. Use them in the church. In the Christian school. Use them for the glory of God. For Habers 31 says of her, she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. Though her first priority is in the home, we see women in Scripture being praised for their work outside of the home. Outside of the home. This can be in church, in school, in society, in committees, in an occupation, etc. The fourth calling of submission involves two flesh becoming one. A wife should be intimately responsive to her husband. The blessings of sex in the marriage relationship is to protect that marriage relationship against immorality. And this is a two-way street. There's two sides to this coin, as you know, husbands and wives. But there's a true responsibility there. I'll leave that there. I just asked my wife what I should say about that. She said, nothing. Moving on, fifth. We look back to Ephesians 5 now. We look at verse 32 and 33. It's quoting here from Genesis chapter 2. This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. The fifth calling comes for both husband and wife. It actually goes back to verse 31. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. Husband and wife to leave their father and mother. That's a real calling. There has to be a separation. The relationship between a wife and her mother before and after marriage should change. The same thing is true for the husband. The relationship a man has with his mother after marriage should be different. Now, the number one woman in his life isn't mother, and vice versa anymore. They come together. This doesn't mean that a Christian wife cannot be very dependent and supported by mother and father, but the home that's established must be established. In one way, it's nice for a couple to be able to establish their home without the interference, good or bad, from family. So they learn to trust the Lord together. We're going to do this thing together. It's not us. And two weeks after marriage, you look across the supper table and say, it's just us, huh? Okay, now what? We live. We serve the Lord as He calls you. In the last calling, we're going to deal with this found in verse 33 of Ephesians 5, where each one of you must love his wife. You realize that Ephesians 5, and very rarely ever in scripture, except broadly, is a wife called to love her husband. It's the husband who's called to love the wife. It's the wife who's called to respect her husband. We see it again in verse 33. Let each one of you also love his wife as he loves himself. And the wife must respect her husband. This isn't to say that a wife must not love her husband. Obviously they must love each other. But that the priority, the role, and the difficulty, the difficulty is to respect your husband. The Bible doesn't teach us, oh, that's just, it's easy. Sometimes it's easier than others, depending on the husband and what he's done lately, but sometimes it's very difficult. How could a wife, a godly wife, respect someone who seems so unrespectable? Imagine a wonderful godly wife being married to an alcoholic, an abuser. How could a wife respect her husband? Nobody else will respect him. Is she still called to? Yes. Yes. You must respect him in the home and publicly. How godless is it for a wife to disrespect her husband around their children? I've seen this before. A wife speaks to her children about their father. Don't ask, you got a math problem? Don't ask daddy, he doesn't know anything. He didn't graduate grade six. I don't ask, he doesn't really know. Don't go to dad for advice. It may be true, he's not great at math, but respect is a continual process of living. Husband and wife are together as one, but they're very different. They still remain distinct. They still have different roles. How can you respect your husband if he's unrespectable? It's because your respect is to the Lord. You respect him as husband, maybe as father of your children. It's the same way that you can honor, show love, honor and loyalty to a government that's wicked. that Paul could write these things in the midst of Rome. It's because service is rendered ultimately unto the Lord. It's the Lord who calls, it's the Lord that you will answer to. As husband and wife live together in the home, they live together before the Lord. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but in all times we look to Jesus Christ. Proverbs 31, 10-11, Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her. Wives, may you see this as a lifelong calling and service to God. The Bible's teaching on the calling and role of a godly wife in no way diminishes her dignity, her freedom, but it elevates it. as we see in the world and society around us, the desire for equality, the foundations of womanhood are being shaken, the foundations of womanhood in our society are being torn away. Do you realize this, women? Did you realize that even this week they're dealing with this? Bill 28. I don't know if you've read this. The words mother and father are being quietly, potentially banned from Canada's provincial family law. Mother and father are becoming bad words. The mother of a child is now called a birth parent. If Bill 28 passes, and even the Conservatives are not that much against this, you can see what's actually happening. in eroding of the gender distinction, in eroding of the Christian wife of womanhood, of manliness, and in a messed up world of transgenderism and all that is involved with that. Let us stand as pinnacles of the truth. How could you do this, wife? How could you live this way? Show such respect to a husband, and husband likewise. Why are you faithful to your wife? Because you're obedient to the Lord. Because it's to the Lord you serve. Let us go back to God's Word. Let us meditate on His design for the family. The beauty, the value, the dignity of our daughters is under attack today. Protect them. Protect them by walking in the way of the Lord. Show them a better way. Show them God's way.