So now we are moving on to the wives first cup, which she bakes. This was baked bread from fake bread, not the real stuff. This is your holy word. We are your servants. Give us understanding that we might know your testimonies. You are prayed, O Lord God, sanctified in a truth. Thy word is truth. Use your word this hour to set us apart for your service and for your glory. Show us now great and mighty things which we do not know. The sower sows the word, plow up the hard ground of our hearts, O Lord, that your seed might send roots downward and bear fruit upwards. Protect us from Satan, who would snatch your sown word away. Protect us from a wrong reaction to the difficulties and discouragements and the persecutions we face, that our hearts might not be hard and unfruitful. Protect us from the world's cares and the delight of wealth and the passion of other interests which enter in and choke the Word and make it fruitless. Let not your Word go out and return void, O Lord God, but accomplish that purpose for which you have set it out and for which you have drawn us together this evening. Unsheathe now the sword of your Spirit Cut to the dividing point of soul and spirit, judge now the thoughts and intentions of each of our hearts. O Lord God, we live in a dark and wicked age. Broad is the way and many are apt which lead to destruction. Make your word to us a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. that we might see that narrow way in which you would have us walk. As we run in the paths of your commandments, O Lord God, enlarge our hearts that in loving you more we might be more obedient to you. Spread your word to us now, Lord, as a banquet table. Give us that sweet milk and that rich meat of the great doctrines of your word. heart of the prophet who cried to you, thy words were found and I believed them, and thy words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of Hosts. O Lord, make your word to us a plumb line and grant grace that we might see how we deviate from its high and holy standards. Make your word to us a mirror and grant grace that we might not be as one who takes a look at himself and goes off and promptly forgets how he loves, but that we might be active doers, not forgetful listeners of your holy, eternal, inerrant written word. Oh Lord God, because of our fealty to you, because of our undying love and devotion to your Son, our Savior. We pledge our total submission to your holy, eternal, inerrant written word, and we pledge our unquestioning obedience to its commands. In the name of our Lord and resurrected Savior, Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen. Submission to your husband's leadership. Usually that's all. I knew, I knew you would snooker us in for this. Now I know why my husband wanted me to come. Remember, each week we pick on somebody different. Don't we? Last week I beat up on the guys pretty good. Didn't I? When you said I did that? Be good spiritual leaders. Be responsible. Be sincere. Be compassionate. Don't talk to your wife about all the things she's not doing when you're not fulfilling the very basic issues of personal discipleship that qualifies you to lead her spiritually. Right? Didn't we talk about that? So, no. Don't turn on me. Don't leave me, okay? Remember, needs are not imperfections. Because you have a need, that is not the result of an imperfection. Adam was perfect, Adam was good, yet he had needs, didn't he? He had needs that only he could meet. God would use us to make our lives complete. God would use our lives to make us complete. We need our lives not because What are some needs that Adam had before the fall? What are some things? We've talked about this before. What are some needs that Adam had before the fall? Food, that's right. That's right. Work, that's exactly right. Work is not a result of the fall, it won't say. If Eve had sent, I wouldn't have to go to work every month. Well, that's two errors right there. The first thing is, Sin did not enter the world because of Eve. Did you know that? Eve was deceived, 1 Timothy 2 says. Satan deceived Eve, and therefore Satan was not held accountable for sin entering the world. Adam rebelled, didn't he? And as the Pharaoh's head, the world fell with Adam. But also, as the father of all men, his sin was imputed to all succeeding generations. So the problems we face in the world today are not as a result of Eve, but rather as a result of Adam. So we'll lay that to rest. Then the second thing we lay to rest is Adam was working before the fall. The curse of the fall In fact, if Adam had never sinned, we'd all still go to work every day. It would just be fruitful work. You see, a husband's need for his wife to be submissive to his spiritual leadership in marriage is created by God. It's a lasting and legitimate need for which he has no moral outlet outside marriage. That means if you're more spiritual than your husband, you should get to lead, right? Wouldn't that make sense? It would make sense, wouldn't it? But he has that need, doesn't he? It's not going to go away. It's a legitimate need. We're going to talk later about a wife's need for emotional, conversational affirmation. We will be looking at that. The husband's need to meet that emotional need. And you can talk to your wife all day, can't you? And tomorrow, what would your wife want you to do? to open up, be transparent and talk to us, don't you? That's not because she has a problem, that's how she was created. It's just like you can eat 3 meals a day and 24 hours later what are you? You can sleep 8 hours at night and 18 hours later what are you? You are that way because of creation, aren't you? And ladies, your husband will never have a that need satisfied. It will never be satisfied. It is simply who and what he is, his desire to lead spiritually. And you meet that covenant need by allowing him to do that, even when he is imperfect in his leadership. We have the authority of the husband, you know, spiritual authority of the husband established in Scripture. So let's turn to Ephesians 5.22. Shall we? Ephesians 5.22 through 24. Let's start with that. Okay, Jeff, would you read Ephesians 5.22 through 24? Would you read Ephesians 5.33? Okay, and verse 33. Oh, that's right. Read that, Pam. That's okay. Pam, why don't you read that? Which of it? Ephesians 5, 33. Okay, hold on. Let's see if we can find that. 33. Ephesians chapter 5. 33. Go for it. That's alright. Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect him. Yeah, so there we have it. We have three words here, don't we? We have, well two key words here. We have subject, don't we? Wives be subject to your husband. Then we have that word respect, don't we? And that's very important ladies, because any of us who have children know what obedience without respect is like, don't you? And how empty that is. So what we want to do is grant our husband the honor of the that we talk about in terms of the husband loving his wife as Christ loves the Church, is that love is something that you do, it is not something that is earned, in terms of the husband's relationship with his wife. That's completely contrary to the Word of God. If we love our wives as Christ loved the Church, has the Church earned Christ's love? Has the Church earned Christ's love? No! It's failed, hasn't it? We're ordaining lesbian pastors. We don't get much worse than that. We're performing lesbian and homosexual marriages in the church. We're questioning the death, burial, resurrection of Jesus Christ. We're questioning the Word of God. Yet, Christ loves his church, his bride, doesn't he? Not because of her obedience, but because of who he is. And if we give our wives love, they don't earn it. It is not something which they should have to earn. Contrastingly though, wives submit and respect their husband, even when that is not earned. It is not a reciprocal thing. I'll love my wife when she becomes lovable. The Japanese have a word for that, hagawashi. I'll respect and submit to my husband when he earns it. Well, they have a word for that. The Italians have a word for that. Bohemian. Neither works. These are things we do because we love God. Our love of our wife, our submission and respect of our husband are reflections of our walks with God. If you don't love your wife the way Christ loves the Church, if you don't submit to and respect That's very important. Look at Ephesians 6, 1, 1-4. Who would like to read that? Sweetheart, would you read that for me? I would love to hear it. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, for she is the first commandment, with a promise, that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. And fathers, do not forgo through children to anchor them, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Okay, Jeffsky, I'll give you your Russian name. Jeffsky, read verse 5. Slaves, obey your earthly master with respect and fear, and with sincerity and heart, just as you obey Christ. Okay, now I have to remember what it says, slaves here. This is not the colonial slavery that America practiced before the Civil War, which is a lifetime slavery. on the year of Jubilee. They could also earn their freedom by saving up money and paying for it. And not only that, they had extensive legal rights under the Law of Moses. So when you read slavery here, don't read southern slavery, read biblical slavery, which is widely pictured. Most Anglo-Europeans came to the New World during the first about come you work for me for X number of years and when you're through you get a plot of land or you get a skill or you know and then you're free to go your way. So that's what this is talking about. Well let's look at the authority here. When many times when I'm giving this seminar one will say to me yes but you know in the New Covenant I'm free from having to obey my husband. I mean, what is subjection? It doesn't say obey here, does it? It says subjection. I mean, we are equals. I don't have to do this. And I always say, okay, if in a new covenant, you're equals. You don't have to do these things. That's alright as long as you apply the same rules to your children as you do to you. Does that make sense? You're applying the same rules to the lady who comes in once a week or every other week to clean the house for you as you do to yourself. Does that make sense to what I'm saying? So you look at this verse and you say, wives be subject to your husbands. as deployed. You say, well that's archaic, that's out of date. Then, now let's go to the next verse. Children obey their parents. Then that has to be out of date and archaic, right? And then we go to the next verse. Employees obey their employees. Well that has to be out of date and archaic also, doesn't it? In other words, it either all works or it all doesn't work. We have to be consistent, right ladies? You can't pick and choose. It's very important in raising our children because if we, if you as mothers use every opportunity to weedle your way out from under the authority of your husband, you criticize him, you tell jokes about him, you point out his inadequacies in public and in private, you use sarcasm with him, you argue with him, You use passive rebellion, you know, you just never quite get around to doing those things that are important for you. And then you can't understand why your children aren't submissive to you and why your teenagers talk back to you. They learned from the master, didn't they? And you say, well, children, you should be good children. You should obey me. And they say, well, why shouldn't I obey you? I see how you treat daddy. Oh, that's different. Well, it's different to us, but it's not different to them, is it? So we are all masters of the double standard, aren't we? Let's be honest with each other. We all want our children to obey us and to respect us. But we want to be the exception of that same rule when it comes to our husbands, don't we? But we're not the exception to the rule. We're not. To be subject to our husbands is an important role model for God, for our children, and for the church. And we should remember that. We are not the exception to the rule. even though we would like to. Now, one of the things we have to address also as we enter the 21st century with a whole new generation of family and mothers and being influenced by the world is the concept of self-ownership. Let's turn to 1st Corinthians 7 verses 3 and 4. Sweetheart, would you read that for me please? Let's turn in our Bibles. It's also in your notes. Roman numeral 2, jump down to page, just keep flipping at the end of the notes, it will be Roman numeral 2. We just finished Roman numeral 1 subjection, and we'll be at Roman numeral 2. First Corinthians 7, verse 3 and 4. See it there? Are we all there? Great! Alright, why don't you read that for me, Daisy? Otherwise also, the husband does not have authority over his own body. The concept of this cult of self-ownership is really a manifestation of 21st century humanism in Western culture. It's relatively new. One of the cornerstones of the teaching of the women's movement, especially as it entails the right to abortion, is that a woman's body is her own, and she uses it as she pleases. Isn't that true? I mean, isn't that what Mother Woman's Movement teaches? Your body is your own. Your husband says, she never really liked your hair a little longer. Well, too bad. It's my hair. If you like long hair, grow it out. Grow yours out. Well, sweetheart, you know I really like that perfume. Well, neither do I. I don't like perfume. gives me the snippets. You want to smell that perfume, wear it yourself. You know, sweetheart, you know, I really like when we go out, if you just wear something that, oh, you have such a nice figure, wear something that shows that figure off. You want to, really? You like that, huh, you animal? That's because you're so spiritually immature, so restful. You want to look at a poor fitting woman? Look at pornography. Oops, no. Don't be such an ass. Don't be so selfish. Isn't that right? So, you know, I can wear you whenever I want to, I can wear my hair whenever I want to, I can dress the way I want to. You know, it's my body, it's my life, and you can go your own way if you don't like it. My way or the highway. Now that is a, that is the recipe for a great marriage, isn't it? So, you know, when I read my child raising seminar, people always say, you know, well I've read this, and this book says this, and that book says that, and I always say, what do those kids look like, for the people who got those books? Because the way we came up with our child raising seminar was by interviewing parents who had well-behaved Christian children with strong character. Those are the ones we wanted to learn from. And I would encourage you, when you begin thinking about that, It's your way. It's all yours. What do their marriages look like? Have they been married? Elinor and I have been married 34 years. Have they been married 34 years? Elinor and I love spending time with each other. We have children who love us and call us almost every day. Is that what these women's lives are like? That they have strong Christian marriages, and are happy, and they have children, and they have grandchildren, and they're active in their church and their ministry, and they're just so positive and upbeat about life, and that's why they're encouraging you to tell your husband off. Is that what kind of lives they have? Because you ought to look at that. that they have. See, we do not belong to ourselves. First, we are gods by creation. Jeff, look at Ezekiel 18.4, please. Eleanor, would you look at 2 Timothy 2.26, please. Pam, if you would look at 1 Corinthians 6, 19 and 20. Yes, Ezekiel 18.4. Now I'm proud of you for finding that book in the Bible. It's not exactly one that rolls off the tongue every time. We are all God's by creation. And when we sin, we come under the control of Satan without Christ, 2 Timothy 2.26. And they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. So these non-Christians who are telling you, your body is your own, and you can tell your husband your way or the highway, they're not their own. They're slaves of Satan. And when we become a Christian, we don't become free agents. A lot of people say, yep, I became a Christian, Christ set me free, now I'm trying to decide if I'm going to make Christ Lord of my life. Christ set me free. I'm a free agent. Well, that's not true. When you become a Christian, you're not a free agent. Pam, I think it was you, 1 Corinthians 6, 19 and 20. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you and you have received from God You are not your own. You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. So then we come under the ownership of God, don't we? We're not our own. Contrary to the cultural norm. We are not our own. We don't belong to ourselves. We belong to God by creation and by the purchase of his blood. And when you Take that marriage vow. You become mystically one with your husband or wife, and your body is no longer one. So let's go back to 1 Corinthians 7, 3 and 4. That's in your notes, Roman numeral 2C. You'll see that. Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. So that comes into play, doesn't it ladies? And how you wear your hair, if you have an exercise program or not, the perfume you wear, the clothing you wear, that comes into play too. Of course, you know, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, isn't it? I used to have a mustache. You know, when they told me one time, you know, I can't get carrots in my mouth when I make out. So I shave my mustache off. I never grew it back. I never grew it back. I let her have it. Yeah, only during Hurricane I. I let her have it. Because it's not just my body, it's hers, isn't it? Yeah, and I shave twice. I shave in the morning, but I also shave in the evening. Because my beard is kind of rough, and when I'm snuggling with her, she just beard burn on her. So I'll shave twice. I keep a razor by the sink to shave in the morning, but I also keep one in the shower to shave at night. Use deodorant, right? Keep your weight as an acceptable weight so you can enjoy outdoor activities and intimacies with your wife. But why don't you do the same thing? Well, yeah, John, you ought to shave twice, but it's for me. shaking your arms and your legs, that's an arcane throwback to the 60s, right? I'm liberated now, so I live like we lived in the Stone Age. No, you are responsive to your husband. Your body is not yours. It is not yours. And so, in conversation with your husband, if not only if he says, let's read Ephesians together at night, you read one chapter and I'll read the next chapter, and let's read the Bible to each other at night, you don't snap that. Well, in the same way there are other things concerning your body and your relationship with your husband that you are willing to do as a ministry to him. That's right, you do it as a ministry to him. For the Son of Man came not to serve, but to be served, and to give His life as a ransom to us. Did Jesus Christ resent being born? Did Jesus Christ resent living on earth? Did Jesus Christ resent dying on the cross? Does Jesus Christ resent being at the throne of God, living ever to make intercession for us? Does He resent those things? Or does He do those things because He loves us? He doesn't have to do it, does he? So I always ask the ladies, they say, well why do I have to do all those things? I always say, it's true you don't have to, but let me ask you this, why don't you want to? Why don't you want to make your husband happy? Why is it such a big deal? How you wear your hair, whether or not you read this book or that book together to grow spiritually, where you sit in church, why is it such a big deal? You know the ultimate act of rebellion in terms of your husband, the ultimate act is divorce, isn't it? Just to leave time, isn't it? That's the ultimate act. And I'm going to give you the secret. of never getting a divorce. Would you like to know that? Would you like to know the secret? Would you like to know the secret of never getting a divorce? Jeff, would you like to know it? Rick? Would you like to? Okay, this is it. Don't do it. That's the secret. Yes. That's it. Just don't do it. It hurts when I do it. Just don't do it. Okay, we'll close with the application. If you decide that you are not individually responsible for this covenant, if you decide that that's just not who you are, John, you know, it's just not me. That's not how my parents live. That's not how I live. It's just not me. In fact, you might say, my husband told me I don't have to submit to it. Does that free you from that? If your husband said, I'm going to go out of town for three months, you know, I'm going to be up in the North Sea, on this Isle of Eric. You know, you feel free to sleep around while I'm gone. Just you say so. Can he tell you to do that? No. And your husband can't tell you, you're free. You're free from semitism. You can't. Because God has told you that, hasn't he? He's taken that authority away from your husband. So your husband can't give you up. Man, I don't want to revise these verses and have my wife review them. I don't want to be taking notes at church and answering the questions at the dinner table. I don't want to be studying the Bible and being the spiritual leader. I don't want to be you know, actively involved in having to get around along with all these people at church I don't like just so I can lead my life spiritually. I don't want to be opening up a home for evangelistic activities. You know, I'm not, you know, filling in all these other things. So, I've got a deal for you, honey. You're off the hook. I don't have to lead you spiritually. You don't have to follow me. But no, you can't do that. You can't do that. We can't let each other off the hook. So, I always ask the ladies, if you don't want to do it, who do you want to take your place? Who do you want to go to? You say, oh yeah, it's just not me. And then he says to you, that's all right. You know Sister Jezebel in church? You know, we've met her before. She's divorced. We've met her. And she always has a lot of Bible questions. And a lot of times, you know, on Thursday night, when you go to your now meeting, she comes over. and we do bible study together she has so many questions for me we talk and a lot of times she just needs someone to hug her and make her feel secure it was almost like when we were first married remember how we were like that? you know before you found yourselves and you were gone all the time remember that? so don't you worry honey and she's so sensitive because whenever you come back she always leaves real quick There's no problem here, you know? And we pray, and we talk, a lot of times we meet early in the morning for coffee and have our quiet times, and we just hold hands and I just feel so warm and so good at it. So I'm getting this need met outside the home. Are you happy? Are you happy? No, you're not happy, are you? This is what you, this is how we want to do it. Ha ha ha ha ha, not so bad. Too bad you're a Christian, right? See, if you were a non-Christian, you could divorce your wife and find someone compatible who really wanted you to minister to her. But you can't. See, you're a Christian, you have to go to church, you have to fulfill your obligations to the Lord. Ha ha ha, too bad, I've got you now. And we use our husband's spirituality to beat him on the head with, like a stick. Is that good? Is that what we want to do? We don't want our husband to be one of those guys at the minster who always raises his hand ahead of unspoken requests. We'll pray for him, unspoken requests. That means his wife told him off, again, on his way to Purdue. We don't want that kind of deal going. We want a husband who is always saying, I'm a man, and just able to brag on his wife and all the best. Isn't that the life we want to be? Lord, we thank you for your revelation. We pray that you would help us.